1
00:00:55,634 --> 00:00:57,509
Hey, Jake. What's wrong?

2
00:00:57,567 --> 00:00:59,771
You look dumpy. How come?

3
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:03,605
I-Is it because of
that metal box?

4
00:01:03,665 --> 00:01:05,267
Is something sad inside?

5
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,240
No. It's nothing.

6
00:01:07,297 --> 00:01:09,467
There's lots of boxes that
have nothing in them.

7
00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:11,632
But also, you could put
something in the box.

8
00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:13,264
And then it won't be empty!

9
00:01:13,329 --> 00:01:14,931
Does that make you feel better?

10
00:01:16,428 --> 00:01:18,132
You're a charmer, Finn human.

11
00:01:18,192 --> 00:01:20,329
No. It's... well...

12
00:01:20,392 --> 00:01:22,267
Lady Rainicorn
doesn't want to play

13
00:01:22,325 --> 00:01:24,427
the game Card Wars with me.

14
00:01:26,324 --> 00:01:27,767
I always beat her.

15
00:01:27,823 --> 00:01:30,266
So she says, "no
more card warring."

16
00:01:30,322 --> 00:01:31,766
What's Card Wars?

17
00:01:31,821 --> 00:01:33,094
It's a fantasy card game

18
00:01:33,155 --> 00:01:35,358
that's super-complicated
and awesome,

19
00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:37,523
but, well... oh,
it's kinda stupid.

20
00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:39,187
Never mind.

21
00:01:39,252 --> 00:01:40,892
How come you never
talked about it before?

22
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:42,690
It sounds cool. - Really?!

23
00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:44,852
Well, I thought you'd
say it was for nerds

24
00:01:44,916 --> 00:01:46,450
who do not know how life is

25
00:01:46,516 --> 00:01:48,357
outside of the nerd universe.

26
00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:49,654
I-it is, man.

27
00:01:49,715 --> 00:01:51,817
But I still totally
want to play it.

28
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,222
So no more moping, okay?

29
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,086
Thanks, Finn.

30
00:02:03,443 --> 00:02:05,750
Oh, hey, Beemo. You
want to play, too'?

31
00:02:05,809 --> 00:02:09,683
No! I do not play such games...
with Jake!

32
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:11,774
- What's that mean?
- Ah, whatever.

33
00:02:11,839 --> 00:02:14,748
Let's play the game!

34
00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:16,976
So, what kind of
stakes do we play for?

35
00:02:17,039 --> 00:02:18,912
How about the loser...

36
00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:20,572
is a dweeb,

37
00:02:20,636 --> 00:02:22,204
and the winner is a cool guy?

38
00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:23,871
Those are good stakes.

39
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,501
Coffee grounds, beetle butter,

40
00:02:31,565 --> 00:02:34,167
grape jelly, kimchi,

41
00:02:34,231 --> 00:02:37,333
aaand this stuff.

42
00:02:37,397 --> 00:02:40,067
Hey! You're ruining that
pop with weird taste!

43
00:02:43,461 --> 00:02:45,836
We drink when the game is over.

44
00:02:45,894 --> 00:02:47,132
Oh, gross.

45
00:02:47,193 --> 00:02:49,534
Now, let me explain the rules.

46
00:02:50,525 --> 00:02:52,196
That's basically the basics.

47
00:02:52,258 --> 00:02:54,326
So once we have our
kingdom setup...

48
00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:56,933
it's time to start to play...

49
00:02:56,989 --> 00:02:58,864
for the gloryyyy!

50
00:02:58,923 --> 00:03:00,457
Huh?

51
00:03:00,522 --> 00:03:01,863
Hey, were you asleep?

52
00:03:01,922 --> 00:03:04,228
I'll have to explain
it all over again!

53
00:03:04,287 --> 00:03:05,992
Doesn't matter. Let's just play.

54
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,826
But if you don't know the rules,

55
00:03:07,886 --> 00:03:09,846
then you're gonna lose in
the first couple rounds,

56
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,487
like Lady always does.

57
00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:13,993
And then you'll hate the game.
And then you'll hate max'

58
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:15,493
And then, and then...

59
00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:17,322
Pfft! You think
you're gonna win?

60
00:03:17,383 --> 00:03:20,622
I'm gonna crush you...
Party-dance style, dweeb!

61
00:03:20,681 --> 00:03:22,453
Bring it!

62
00:03:22,513 --> 00:03:24,457
So, how do I get my
land on the map'?

63
00:03:24,513 --> 00:03:26,115
Oh.

64
00:03:26,179 --> 00:03:28,553
You, uh, floop your land cards.

65
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:32,844
Uh...

66
00:03:32,910 --> 00:03:34,410
Keep those honeys hidden,

67
00:03:34,476 --> 00:03:36,384
or I'll get a
strategic advantage!

68
00:03:36,441 --> 00:03:38,077
Oh! Hmm...

69
00:03:38,141 --> 00:03:39,914
Okay, I go first.

70
00:03:39,974 --> 00:03:42,814
I floop the Silo of Truth!

71
00:03:44,506 --> 00:03:46,278
Hey!

72
00:03:46,338 --> 00:03:48,281
Pfft! You got really lame cards.

73
00:03:48,337 --> 00:03:49,337
Hmm...

74
00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:52,314
I'll take the Cerebral
Blood Storm, though.

75
00:03:53,802 --> 00:03:55,074
Huh?

76
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,078
Okay, now it's the battle phase.

77
00:03:57,134 --> 00:04:00,542
I'm attacking your schoolhouse
with my Husker Knights.

78
00:04:01,898 --> 00:04:05,898
And, I'm casting
Cerebral Blood Storm.

79
00:04:07,197 --> 00:04:10,606
So, what do you use to defend?

80
00:04:12,562 --> 00:04:14,971
Uh... can my Cool Dog

81
00:04:15,028 --> 00:04:16,971
and Ancient Scholar defeat
your Husker Knights?

82
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,328
Of course not!

83
00:04:20,392 --> 00:04:23,164
Hmm. Then I floop the pig...

84
00:04:23,224 --> 00:04:24,758
What?!

85
00:04:24,824 --> 00:04:26,926
- What?
- Okay, okay.

86
00:04:26,990 --> 00:04:30,762
First of all, you don't floop
a creature to make it fight.

87
00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:32,424
You activate a creature.

88
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:34,089
Hmm. No!

89
00:04:34,153 --> 00:04:37,153
It says I can floop the pig.
See?

90
00:04:41,517 --> 00:04:43,461
No!

91
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,357
He's eating all my cornfields!

92
00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:48,620
My Husker Knights draw
energy from corn!

93
00:04:48,681 --> 00:04:50,681
And since I'm not
actually attacking,

94
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,554
your Cerebral Blood
Storm only does damage

95
00:04:52,614 --> 00:04:54,682
to your own kingdom's troops.

96
00:04:57,012 --> 00:04:59,955
You just wiped out
my entire attack!

97
00:05:00,011 --> 00:05:02,851
What do you expect if all your
power units come from corn?

98
00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:05,853
Pigs eat corn, dude.
Cornfields stink.

99
00:05:05,909 --> 00:05:08,317
Cornfields are awesome!

100
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:11,011
What makes you think you know
so much about Card Wars?!

101
00:05:11,074 --> 00:05:13,744
- It's just logic.
- Your turn.

102
00:05:13,806 --> 00:05:14,908
Hmm...

103
00:05:14,972 --> 00:05:16,643
You're supposed
to discard a card

104
00:05:16,705 --> 00:05:18,478
and pick up a new one first.

105
00:05:18,538 --> 00:05:19,640
Oh, right.

106
00:05:19,704 --> 00:05:21,941
Look at you. You're a
babe in the woods.

107
00:05:22,002 --> 00:05:24,071
Your beginner's luck
ends this round!

108
00:05:24,135 --> 00:05:26,203
Hmm.

109
00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:32,738
Spirit Tower! And the
Cave of Solitude?!

110
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,901
Now my battle phase begins.

111
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:38,907
I activate my ancient
scholar to begin studying.

112
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:41,701
And I also move my pig
to the Cave of Solitude

113
00:05:41,761 --> 00:05:43,966
so he can take a nap.

114
00:05:44,028 --> 00:05:46,766
That's it? You're not attacking?

115
00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:48,463
I'll attack on a different turn.

116
00:05:48,527 --> 00:05:50,470
Ha! Then the seas have aligned

117
00:05:50,526 --> 00:05:52,469
and the five winds waft
the smell of victory

118
00:05:52,525 --> 00:05:54,331
to my palace doors!

119
00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:56,459
I cast "Field of Nightmares"

120
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,432
and activate my
legion of ear-lings

121
00:05:58,489 --> 00:05:59,988
to scare your pig to death!

122
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,090
♪ La, la, la, la ♪

123
00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:02,995
My pig's in the
Cave of Solitude.

124
00:06:03,054 --> 00:06:05,328
Um... I cast "Teleport"

125
00:06:05,387 --> 00:06:07,091
to move your pig
to the empty field

126
00:06:07,153 --> 00:06:08,653
so I can attack him!

127
00:06:08,719 --> 00:06:10,662
Uh... wouldn't
"Teleport" only work

128
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,956
on your own creatures?
- You're right.

129
00:06:13,017 --> 00:06:14,756
I'm gonna slay that pig, though.

130
00:06:14,816 --> 00:06:17,487
How? You don't have any
creatures that can touch him.

131
00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:18,617
Ugh!

132
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:21,557
Face it, man. I'm the cool guy.

133
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:22,852
Hmm...

134
00:06:22,913 --> 00:06:25,480
You're the cool guy, huh?

135
00:06:25,545 --> 00:06:28,454
Well, let me make it a
little hot for you, then.

136
00:06:30,177 --> 00:06:32,155
I floop the volcano.

137
00:06:32,211 --> 00:06:33,153
What?!

138
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:35,010
That'll destroy your
kingdom, too, won't it'?!

139
00:06:35,043 --> 00:06:36,986
Hmph! Maybe Oh!

140
00:06:37,042 --> 00:06:38,849
Aah!

141
00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:39,941
My Pig!

142
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:41,075
♪ La, la ♪

143
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,277
Aah!

144
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,447
The pig is dead.

145
00:06:47,505 --> 00:06:49,311
Now I reconstitute my cornfields

146
00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:52,142
using the "Reclaim
Landscape" spell.

147
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,703
My Husker Knights, revive!

148
00:06:54,968 --> 00:06:57,843
And I still have
my battle phase.

149
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:02,365
Hiding in the useless swamp,
the Immortal Maize Walker!

150
00:07:02,432 --> 00:07:04,603
I love corn!

151
00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,608
Ah!

152
00:07:06,664 --> 00:07:09,869
Cornfields give the immortal
maize walker triple damage.

153
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,236
Uh...

154
00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:13,671
I told you cornfields
are awesome!

155
00:07:13,728 --> 00:07:15,602
Your Ancient Scholar
and Cool Dog

156
00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:17,400
won't survive this time.

157
00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:19,403
Actually, my Ancient
Scholar's been studying

158
00:07:19,459 --> 00:07:21,130
the "Raise the Dead" ability.

159
00:07:21,193 --> 00:07:23,033
- So what?
- So...

160
00:07:23,091 --> 00:07:25,625
My Ancient Scholar
raises the dead.

161
00:07:27,024 --> 00:07:28,296
I floop the pig.

162
00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:32,059
No-o-o-o-o-o!

163
00:07:32,121 --> 00:07:34,996
Look. My towefls doing a thing.

164
00:07:35,053 --> 00:07:38,394
Hominy-hominy-hominy!

165
00:07:38,453 --> 00:07:40,726
You ganked my Spirit Walker!

166
00:07:40,785 --> 00:07:42,262
Ah!

167
00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:48,053
Uh, maybe we should
take a break?

168
00:07:50,281 --> 00:07:51,724
Your turn.

169
00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:53,314
Huh?

170
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:54,414
You Play!

171
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,923
You Play!

172
00:07:56,913 --> 00:07:58,355
Oh, zang.

173
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,320
I do not play such games...

174
00:08:00,378 --> 00:08:03,617
with Jake.

175
00:08:03,677 --> 00:08:07,517
Sorry! I gotta use
the boy style room.

176
00:08:07,575 --> 00:08:10,950
Beemo! Beemo!

177
00:08:11,008 --> 00:08:12,280
Beemo chop!

178
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,942
If this were a real
attack, you'd be dead.

179
00:08:15,006 --> 00:08:17,505
Beemo! Jake's acting
boonoonoonoos!

180
00:08:17,571 --> 00:08:20,571
Oh, no! Are you winning
the game of Card Wars?

181
00:08:20,637 --> 00:08:22,580
- Yeah!
- That's terrible!

182
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,579
If Jake loses that game,
he gets super depressed!

183
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:29,272
When I beat him, he wouldn't
talk to me for a month!

184
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,743
What?!

185
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,743
I only played so he
wouldn't be bummed!

186
00:08:32,799 --> 00:08:35,537
Finn, you must take a dive.

187
00:08:35,597 --> 00:08:36,939
Okay, I'll try.

188
00:08:36,998 --> 00:08:39,270
But I'm a Card Wars
super Amadeus.

189
00:08:39,329 --> 00:08:41,897
Whoop!

190
00:08:41,962 --> 00:08:45,427
Play... the... game.

191
00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:47,438
Grob. Better make
this look good.

192
00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:52,532
All right, Jake. Prepare
for my ultimo-attack!

193
00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:56,159
Well, I've still got
my Wandering Bald Man.

194
00:08:56,223 --> 00:08:57,928
Oh, no.

195
00:08:57,990 --> 00:08:59,399
I need to get rid of my pig

196
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:03,227
so Jake can reconstitute
his cornfields.

197
00:09:03,287 --> 00:09:05,026
I activate the pig

198
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:07,927
to attack your
Wandering Bald Man.

199
00:09:07,986 --> 00:09:10,327
That's stupid.

200
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,794
Just attack with
Immortal Maize Walker

201
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,419
and get the game over with!

202
00:09:13,483 --> 00:09:14,722
No way!

203
00:09:14,784 --> 00:09:20,590
You've underestimated
me and my pig all day.

204
00:09:20,648 --> 00:09:23,523
Please lose. Please lose.

205
00:09:31,011 --> 00:09:33,078
No-o-o-o!

206
00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:43,816
Oh-ho! Oh! Oh, yeah!

207
00:09:43,873 --> 00:09:47,145
Pigs can't leave mud landscapes
once they're on them!

208
00:09:47,204 --> 00:09:50,079
Ha ha ha! The pig is mine!

209
00:09:50,137 --> 00:09:52,841
First, I'll play
Reclaim Landscape.

210
00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:55,573
Then I cast "Summon Archer Dan."

211
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:03,271
Whoa, math...

212
00:10:07,964 --> 00:10:09,340
M'boys!

213
00:10:09,396 --> 00:10:11,236
You have no creatures left.

214
00:10:11,295 --> 00:10:13,569
That's the game, boy!

215
00:10:13,629 --> 00:10:17,230
The five winds blow through
cornfields once again

216
00:10:17,293 --> 00:10:19,736
for the glory of Jakoria!

217
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:22,326
Heh. You got me.

218
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:24,336
In your face!

219
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:27,493
It's time to drink up!

220
00:10:27,556 --> 00:10:30,056
It looks like you are the dweeb

221
00:10:30,123 --> 00:10:32,395
and Mn the cool guy.

222
00:10:38,419 --> 00:10:40,055
Is it too gross for you, man?

223
00:10:40,119 --> 00:10:41,562
No, no.

224
00:10:41,618 --> 00:10:43,322
I got to take what's
coming to me.

225
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:49,659
Hey, it's not that bad!
I like it!

226
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:53,022
- What?!
- You want a taste?

227
00:10:54,912 --> 00:10:56,412
Ah, it's gross!

228
00:10:56,479 --> 00:10:58,718
In your face, dweeb!