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King: hello. King.
3
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,517
Princess clara:
hi, father.
4
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,085
My dear clara,
what's wrong?
5
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,353
You sound upset.
6
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,855
I don't know, father.
7
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,224
It's just that
I feel like there's
something missing.
8
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,558
Did you check
the colored girl's room?
9
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:29,628
No, I mean there's
something missing
from my life.
10
00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:31,130
I was hoping i'd
come to this house
11
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,931
And discover
who I really am.
12
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:34,700
You are a princess.
13
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,268
Duh!
14
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,237
I know that, father,
15
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,506
But--but I long
for so much more.
16
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,441
Of course you do.
Because you're a princess,
17
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,476
And that's
what princesses do.
18
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,011
They long for more
19
00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:48,080
Or die in a car crash
in France.
20
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,416
Now, let us never speak
of this again.
21
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:52,317
Yes, father.
22
00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:54,186
Xandir:
sometimes I think
captain hero cares
23
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,021
More about those boots
than our friendship.
24
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:57,690
I bet they never slew
25
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,558
The man troll
on rainbow mountain.
26
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:00,759
Heh--
27
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,995
I said, "slew," right?
28
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,563
You know what's funny,
captain hero?
29
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,298
Elder abuse?
30
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,000
Well, yes,
elder abuse,
31
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,868
And the fact that
we share the same room
32
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:11,270
But never
do anything together.
33
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:14,540
Like, you know, hang out
or go to the mall.
34
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:15,674
"go to the mall"?
35
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,476
Is that some kind
of gay code?
36
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,011
Fool me once,
shame on you.
37
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,146
Fool me twice,
shame on me.
38
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,348
No, no,
it's not like that.
39
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:25,050
We could get snow cones,
try on outfits--
40
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:27,820
Oh, and get our picture
taken with santa!
41
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,422
Ok, fine.
42
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,890
Whoopee! Hoo hoo!
Goody goody!
43
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:33,258
Captain hero:
I figured, what the hell.
44
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,560
Make the gay kid happy.
45
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:37,029
Besides, I know a certain
pony-less superhero
46
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:40,733
Who had a few choice words
for mr. Claus.
47
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,201
Clara: I was sulking
around the house
48
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:44,837
Trying to find ways
to cheer myself up,
49
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,906
But nothing seemed
to be working.
50
00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:50,342
But then I saw
something magical,
51
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,111
Something that would
change me forever.
52
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,312
Focus!
53
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,214
Ok, ok, ok.
54
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,582
[inhaling]
55
00:01:56,583 --> 00:02:00,285
[upper-class voice]
good evening,
delivery man of pizza.
56
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,689
[indian accent]
that will be $8.46,
please.
57
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,158
[grunting]
58
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:07,793
[pffft]
59
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,661
Here is your money,
kind sir.
60
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:10,996
Oh, thank you--
wait a second.
61
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,532
Uh, I don't remember
ordering this pizza...
62
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,768
With sausage!
63
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:16,769
Aah!
64
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,106
You suck!
65
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:24,510
I said,
"with sausage!"
66
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:25,544
Oop!
67
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,680
Hey, what are
you doing here?
68
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:28,914
[panting]
69
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,650
[crowing]
70
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,918
Captain hero:
I was picking out an outfit
71
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,486
For my trip to the mall
72
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,522
When I got
an urgent phone call
73
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:37,723
From the commissioner.
74
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,358
Hello. Commissioner?
Captain hero here.
75
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:40,359
Blah, blah, blah.
76
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,695
I'm captain hero,
and I can fly!
77
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,296
And I--
do you mind, fudgey?!
78
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:45,497
I'm on the phone.
79
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,632
I don't care.
80
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,434
I gotta call
my a.A. Sponsor.
81
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,837
[girly voice]
I said i'm on the phone!
82
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,739
[normal voice]
i'm sorry, commissioner.
83
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,475
That was toot.
She is so annoying.
84
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,077
The other day
I, like, left my clothes
85
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,712
In the washer
for maybe 5 minutes--
86
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,480
Maybe--and she sneaks in,
you know,
87
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,215
And she puts
her wet towel
in the dryer.
88
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:06,285
So i'm like, "can I
at least throw my stuff in
with your one towel?"
89
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,687
And she's all, "no!"
so i'm like, "whatever!"
90
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,023
Oh, do you have
any roommates, commissioner?
91
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:15,060
What?! Aladdin is about
to magic carpet bomb israel?
92
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:16,295
I'm on my way!
93
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,498
Sorry, xandir,
no mall today, gay friend.
94
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:20,566
[grunts]
95
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,704
[slurring] why don't you
love me, captain morgan?
96
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,706
Huh? Aah!
97
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,542
Oh, no, you're bleeding.
98
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,946
I'll save you,
captain morgan.
99
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,215
[slurping]
100
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,216
Clara:
I couldn't stop thinking
101
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:41,186
About foxxy, spanky,
and that pizza man.
102
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:42,788
I needed to learn more.
103
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,656
Well,
that's it, spanky.
104
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:47,459
We's brokah
than a newscaster
of the same name.
105
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:50,896
I guess that was
our last pizza prank.
106
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,231
[gasps] wait!
107
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,600
Yo, princess, if you're
looking for the pizza,
108
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,802
You're too late.
We ate it already.
109
00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,906
Here. Here's $8.26.
110
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,208
You too, huh?
Here it is.
111
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,677
[boing]
112
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:07,012
Jesus, spanky!
Put that thing away!
113
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,682
Wait a minute!
I thought you wanted
to see my thick 8!
114
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,683
That is disgusting!
115
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:11,684
Then what the hell's
the money for?
116
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,353
Here, I want you
to have this money
117
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,455
For your little game
with the pizza man.
118
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,190
"little game"?
119
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,726
Did you say, "little game"?
120
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,128
The travel size edition
of battleship,
121
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:24,263
That's a little game.
122
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,531
Screwing
with the pizza man,
123
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,199
That's a way of life,
my friend.
124
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,201
It's who I am.
125
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,470
Clara:
that look in spanky's eye.
126
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,072
I hadn't seen
anything like it.
127
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,573
It was that passion
128
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,975
That was so missing
in my own life.
129
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,478
Wait!
Spanky, please.
130
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,846
Take the money.
131
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,915
I need you to.
132
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,720
All right, fine.
133
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,089
Ok, here's how it's
gonna go down.
134
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,690
I'm gonna
finish my hair.
135
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,525
Spanky,
you order the pizza.
136
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,261
And, clara, you go
into the confessional
137
00:04:56,262 --> 00:05:00,265
And tell the camera how
you never felt so alive.
138
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,134
My first naughty prank.
139
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,270
I've never felt so alive!
140
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:09,041
Bill withers:
¶ ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ¶
141
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:15,114
¶ it's not warm
when she's away ¶
142
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,218
¶ ain't no sunshine ¶
143
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,786
Spanky: the princess
was so excited,
144
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,389
I figured i'd give her
a chance and let her
call the pizza man.
145
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,724
That was a huge mistake.
146
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,860
I mean, it wasn't
as big a mistake
147
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:31,397
As when I converted
to islam in August of 2001,
148
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,664
But still pretty big.
149
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,601
Um, I would like to order
one large pizza.
150
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,303
Yes, uh,
with doody on it!
151
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:40,072
No! Hello?
152
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,240
Ahem.
153
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,741
[clara's voice]
sorry about that.
154
00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:44,343
We'll just take
the pizza plain.
155
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,312
Just plain.
156
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:48,681
I'm sorry, spanky.
157
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,549
[clara's voice]
look, forget it. Ahem.
158
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,786
[normal voice]
just let foxxy and me
handle it from here.
159
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:58,157
That way, nothing can
possibly go wrong.
160
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,324
Oh, my god!
161
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,894
I braided my hands
into my rows!
162
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,029
I can't get 'em out!
163
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,467
Oh, this is so stupid.
164
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,402
Now who's gonna
answer the door
165
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,037
While I doot
on the pizza?
166
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,539
Who? Come on!
167
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:17,843
Oh, mr. Spanky, please,
if you will allow me to.
168
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,511
I can do it.
169
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,180
No way, josé!
170
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,115
You'll just
screw it up again.
171
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,617
Come on, spanky.
Give me a second chance.
172
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:27,453
Didn't you get
a second chance
173
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:30,022
When you were given that
dead schoolteacher's liver?
174
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,591
You know, you're right.
175
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,960
I'll let you do it.
176
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,830
Here's
to second chances, kid!
177
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,765
[gulping]
178
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,069
Clara: what a fiasco.
179
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,705
The pizza would be here
in 30 minutes or less,
180
00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,974
And with foxxy's hands
stuck in her hair,
181
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,310
She was more useless
than a mexican.
182
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,745
[doorbell rings]
hmm?
183
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,148
Clara: pulling off this prank
would take a miracle.
184
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,351
Well, hello,
mr. Pizza man.
185
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,387
$8.26, please,
and this time,
186
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,022
No funny business.
187
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,590
Don't give him
the money yet.
188
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,926
Get the pizza first
so I can doot on it.
189
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:11,597
You know, it'd
be so much easier
for me to pay you
190
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,533
If you give me
the pizza first.
191
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,636
Oh, I do not see how that
could possibly be easier.
192
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:18,971
Now, give me
the money first!
193
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,040
Abort! Abort!
194
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:24,810
Ok, pizza man,
we'll do it your way.
195
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:25,944
Oh...
196
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,646
May this life bring
you the happiness
197
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,249
It has so consistently
denied me.
198
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,852
You incompetent boob!
199
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,921
You gave him
the money first,
200
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,356
And now he's gone!
201
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,692
I can't believe
I trusted you. Hmm!
202
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,959
[knocking]
pizza man: madam!
203
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,161
You only gave me $5!
204
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,762
I need the full amount,
please.
205
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:47,533
Oh...You're good.
206
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,802
Just, uh,
give me a second!
207
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,339
Foxxy: aw, I seen this
a million times.
208
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,941
Daddy's little girl
falls for some bad boy,
209
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:58,110
And then she go and get
herself pregnant
210
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,045
And sells the child
on the black market
211
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,047
To pay the bills.
212
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,518
Oh, little timmy,
mommy misses you.
213
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,388
Oh, i'm glad
you came back,
214
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,223
'cause we got
a little problem.
215
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:14,259
You see, I don't remember
ordering a pizza...
216
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,495
With sausage!
217
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,963
[ode to joy playing]
218
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,565
I...
219
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,700
Oh!
220
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,602
Buh! Oh...
221
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,604
[indistinct
police radio chatter]
222
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,976
You're going
downtown, pig.
223
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,517
And where
have you been?
224
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,487
I walked
that entire mall
225
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,122
All by myself.
226
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,356
Oh, was that today?
227
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,191
Yes, that was today!
228
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,193
Sorry. I had
to restore peace
229
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,428
To the middle east
again.
230
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,430
Boy, those muslims
are kooky, man.
231
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,998
I mean, have you read
that koran?
232
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,900
It's mostly
knock-knock jokes and--
233
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,503
You used to care
about me, about us.
234
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:58,871
What? What?
235
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,272
You used to tell me
I was pretty.
236
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,341
No, I didn't.
You used to
dress up for me!
237
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,409
Just that one time.
238
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,677
Oh, forget it.
239
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,345
I hope you enjoy
the couch.
240
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,514
Xandir!
I said couch!
241
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,549
[crowing]
242
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,719
Clara: what happened to me?
243
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,220
Messing with
the minimum wage pizza man,
244
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,388
Going to jail.
245
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,357
Shivving my cellmate.
246
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,492
These are things
a princess should never do,
247
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,629
And that's why
I liked it so much.
248
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,431
What a rush!
249
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,899
You know, I, uh, hate
to admit it,
250
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:30,202
But, uh, you handled
yourself like a pro.
251
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,271
So, clara,
who bailed us out?
252
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,672
What? Didn't I see you
253
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,708
On the phone
with our roommates?
254
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:39,978
Well, actually,
I had to take care
of some other business.
255
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:40,979
I'm sorry, man,
256
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,481
But we didn't
order 20 pizzas
257
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,450
With extra anchovies
and doody on them.
258
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,652
Oh, but it says right here
on the receipt.
259
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:47,753
Look out!
He's got a receipt!
260
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,021
Please! No! Aah!
261
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,357
Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh...
262
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,293
You suck!
263
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,294
They shot him.
264
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,428
Oh...
265
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,298
Then who did
bail us out?
266
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,532
I did.
[gasps]
267
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,335
Father?
268
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,436
And you!
269
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,671
Stay away
from my daughter.
270
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:06,839
Wait!
271
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,874
King: i'm taking you
back to the castle.
272
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,809
But, father--
but nothing!
273
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:11,877
I can't go home now.
274
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,546
I'm finally learning
about the real me.
275
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,849
Please?
276
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:20,352
Oh...Ok, my dear.
You may stay,
277
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,021
But I must make sure
278
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,756
You never set eyes
on that pig again.
279
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:26,325
No! Don't stab my eyes!
280
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,326
Come on. Just
a little stab
in the eye.
281
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,460
Just a little
stabbing in the eye.
282
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,329
No, father.
No forking.
283
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:35,668
What if I just
promise to never
see spanky again, ok?
284
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,935
Forky pokey promise?
285
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,370
No! Just a promise.
286
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,539
Because you trust me.
287
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,708
Right, father?
288
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:46,111
Hmm. Fine. Ok.
289
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,213
I do trust you.
290
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,382
Oh, father,
thank you.
291
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,383
[gasps]
292
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,918
Ah ha!
2 for flinching.
293
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,386
Ow!
294
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,155
Wow, wooldoor,
295
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,757
That was the most fun
i've ever had.
296
00:10:58,758 --> 00:10:59,992
Captain hero:
after our little spat,
297
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,760
Xandir started spending
an awful lot of time
298
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,429
Will that wooldoor fella.
299
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,131
My super senses told me
he was just using him
300
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:07,599
To make me jealous.
301
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,935
I can't imagine
having any more fun
302
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:11,036
With anyone,
303
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,605
Superhero
or otherwise.
304
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,207
Captain hero: and
the worst part about it was
305
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,210
His plan was super working.
306
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,679
Hey, xandir,
listen,
307
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,781
I have some, uh,
sick days coming
to me,
308
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,116
And if
you're interested,
309
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,884
I'm up for a little
zoo action tomorrow.
310
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:26,919
Yeah!
Oh, great!
311
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,154
The two of us will go
to the zoo tomorrow!
312
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:32,825
You know, just me and
you and not wooldoor.
313
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,259
Oh...
314
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:38,030
If anybody needs me,
i'll be in the clock tower.
315
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,732
[cocks]
316
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,333
Now, clara,
317
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:44,570
You promise
to stay away from that
boyishly handsome pig?
318
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,071
Yes, father.
319
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,040
I shall miss you.
320
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,543
Mmm!
Mmm!
321
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,484
Mwah!
322
00:11:58,485 --> 00:11:59,818
Spanky:
fine, if clara wants
323
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,588
To listen to her daddy
and never see me again,
324
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,089
Then screw her, right?
325
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,991
I can find someone else
326
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,593
To help me mess
with the pizza man.
327
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:10,195
You want to do what
to the pizza?!
328
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,697
The most tasty
and delicious
329
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,432
Of all that is
tasty and delicious!
330
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,235
So you can
shit on it?!
331
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,038
I should kill you
where you stand!
332
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,072
Unh!
333
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,073
Aah!
334
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,007
[thud]
335
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,011
I thought
you promised daddy
336
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,280
That you'd never
see me again.
337
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,515
I know I did.
338
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,384
And, yes, i'm scared
to defy my father.
339
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:35,254
But i'm even more scared
of never again feeling
340
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,223
The way I do...
When i'm with you.
341
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,160
Aw, baby, let's do it.
342
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,661
What? You mean--
343
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:46,799
Yes. I'll order the pizza.
Then you'll doot on it.
344
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:51,036
Then we'll say
we didn't order sausage.
345
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,137
I can't.
346
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,940
I mean, I want to.
I really do,
347
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:58,544
But i'm
just a princess.
348
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,245
That's your father
talking, clara.
349
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,881
Come on. Take my hand.
350
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:04,817
Let me teach you.
351
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,891
I want you to pretend
this is a pizza box.
352
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,063
All right, head up,
back straight,
353
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:19,999
Breathe.
354
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,300
Eyes closed.
355
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,702
Now, feel the poo
moving through
356
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,771
Your digestive system.
357
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,374
Relax, relax.
358
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:33,278
Now, visualize emptying
your bowels slowly
359
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:34,613
Onto the pizza.
360
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,382
Can you see it?
361
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:39,551
Oh, my god!
I can see it!
362
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:42,321
I can see myself...
363
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:47,659
Emptying my bowels
onto the pizza.
364
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,328
Mmm...
365
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,966
[both giggling]
366
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,734
Thanks for
everything, spanky.
367
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,170
Last night
was amazing.
368
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,372
Poo humor's
always been so low
369
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,974
On my list
of priorities,
370
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,542
But now it's like...
371
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,478
Number 2.
Number 2.
372
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,313
[playing fanfare]
373
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:09,882
Hear ye, hear ye,
374
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,950
The king will
burst in unexpectedly.
375
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,220
Clara? Clara?
376
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:18,323
Father, I didn't
expect you here.
377
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:19,358
[scraping]
378
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,429
Father,
what's happened to you?
379
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:26,031
On my journey home,
I was carriage-jacked.
380
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,433
[all gasping]
381
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,435
I told his ass
you drive a carriage
382
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,437
With phat rims like that
in this neighborhood,
383
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,339
You asking for trouble.
384
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,907
It was horrible.
385
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:38,777
They took my carriage,
my horses, my crown,
386
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,679
But not my innocence.
387
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,515
No, I lost that
a long time ago
388
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,050
When I was just
a naive prince
389
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,786
Who would do
anything to please
his jousting instructor.
390
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,254
Anything.
391
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,023
Who could've
done this?!
392
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,291
All I know
is I looked up
393
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,393
Into a snot-dripping
pig snout
394
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,096
Pawing at me
with disgusting pig feet
395
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,764
Like his!
396
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,632
[all gasping]
397
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,834
Guard, grab him!
398
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,402
Father! No!
399
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,705
Crowny, it wasn't me.
I don't steal carriages.
400
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,841
I steal scenes.
401
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:11,510
¶ figaro! Figaro! ¶
402
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,613
¶ fi-ga-ro ¶
403
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,615
Oh, and I suppose
my carriage
404
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,585
Was stolen by some
other disgusting pig.
405
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:24,390
[slurring] I don't
remember anything.
406
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,459
I think I might have
had a drink or two.
407
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,396
Are you calling me a liar?!
408
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,397
[crunch]
409
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:34,400
Pig, I find you
guilty.
410
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,001
Off with his head!
411
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,703
[both gasping]
412
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,306
Oh, you got the tickets
for the zoo?
413
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,275
What? I thought
you had them.
414
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,847
Oh, xandir...
415
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:51,016
Oh, you trick me
like that again,
416
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:53,052
And i'll
fucking kill you.
417
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,486
Look out, zoo!
Here we come!
418
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,487
[rings]
419
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,789
I'll get it.
420
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:57,956
Why don't you
wait in the car?
421
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,358
And open
the windows a bit.
422
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,460
Ling-ling's been
in there all day.
423
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:03,962
[teddy bear squeaks]
424
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,298
Commissioner? Hi!
How's the little one?
425
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,033
What's he now, like, 11?
426
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,035
Oh, I remember
being that age.
427
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:12,137
Not a girl,
not yet a woman.
428
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,305
What?!
429
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,008
Earth is being invaded
by robo-insect-a-bots
430
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,109
With hats?!
431
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,278
[gasps]
432
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,817
Oh...Oh...
433
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,854
Unh! Oh...
434
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,022
Everyone!
435
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,724
And 10...
436
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:35,394
All: 9, 8, 7...
437
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:38,130
I knew spanky couldn't
have been the one who
carriage-jacked father,
438
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,666
Because spanky and I
spent the night together.
439
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,236
But if I told father that,
he'd never forgive me.
440
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,270
3...
9...
441
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:46,271
5...
4...
442
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:47,272
Wait!
443
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,440
Father, please.
444
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,209
I can prove
it wasn't spanky.
445
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,945
I have evidence
that will clear his name.
446
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,048
Spanky couldn't
have been the one
447
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,716
Who carriage-jacked father,
448
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,519
Because we spent
the night together.
449
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,056
Eh?
450
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:07,626
Oh, clara,
how could you?
451
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,962
I trusted you.
452
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:13,132
I couldn't believe
my daughter deliberately
disobeyed me.
453
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,334
She left me no choice.
I had to take her home.
454
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,336
No, father, no!
455
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,738
Then clara protested,
but, you know,
456
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,006
It was too late.
457
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,008
So, my mind had
been made up anyway.
458
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:25,611
Father, talk to him.
459
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:28,480
Oh, no. I'm not getting
in the middle of this.
460
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,251
You ready, buddy?
461
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,286
As i'll ever be.
Heh heh.
462
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,689
Uh, who was that
on the phone?
463
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:39,291
Oh, it was, um, work.
464
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:42,094
Oh. Was it important?
465
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:45,097
Yeah.
It was important...
466
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:49,034
But not as important
as keeping a promise
467
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:51,403
To a gay friend.
468
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,973
Now, let's visit the
hell out of that zoo!
469
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,213
¶ daisy, daisy ¶
470
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,648
[blast]
[rarr]
471
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,583
¶ give me your answer, do ¶
472
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,651
Aah!
473
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:06,652
[baah!]
474
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,688
¶ i'm half crazy ¶
475
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:13,125
¶ all for the love of you ¶
476
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,627
Newsman: captain hero,
where are you?!
477
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,129
¶ ...A stylish marriage ¶
478
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:21,133
¶ I can't afford
a carriage ¶
479
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,935
¶ but you'll look sweet-- ¶
480
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:26,105
I'm doing this
for your own good.
481
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,473
You need to stay away
482
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,842
From "a," this house.
483
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,512
Well, then,
484
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,381
I guess
this is good-bye.
485
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,216
[doorbell rings]
486
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,484
Well, then,
487
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,918
I guess
that's the doorbell.
488
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:42,988
Well, then,
489
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,257
I guess that's
the pizza man.
490
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,426
What the hell
do you want?!
491
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,128
Someone ordered
a pizza.
492
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,497
That would be me.
493
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,432
No one puts baby
in the corner.
494
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,969
Clara, don't you dare!
495
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:57,970
Uh...
496
00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,372
Believe in yourself,
clara.
497
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,641
Anything your dad
says don't do,
498
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,778
I say...Doo doo.
499
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,750
No, no. Don't.
Let her be.
500
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:14,286
Man: ¶ this song
is supposed to be... ¶
501
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:15,487
That will be $8.26,
please.
502
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,689
¶ just like that song
in dirty dancing... ¶
503
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:18,090
Of course it will.
504
00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:21,994
¶ the one where they talk
about having the greatest time ¶
505
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,764
¶ while they set
the dirty dance floor on fire ¶
506
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,734
Woman: ¶ so this
is our version ¶
507
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:32,371
¶ though the chords
are not quite the same ¶
508
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,841
¶ and the melody
is different ¶
509
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,377
¶ it's even kind of lame ¶
510
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:42,781
Both: ¶ but, hell, it's
the best that we could do ¶
511
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,217
Man: ¶ we had to make
something fit ¶
512
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,952
Both: ¶ so given the scene ¶
513
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,121
¶ it's fitting
if it sounds like-- ¶
514
00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:50,823
[grunting]
[pffft]
515
00:19:50,824 --> 00:19:53,392
[plop]
516
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:57,363
That is the most
disgusting thing
i've ever seen!
517
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,698
Off with his head!
518
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,766
Wait!
519
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:03,469
I have something
I must say.
520
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,137
Say it, baby.
521
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:10,275
I don't remember
ordering this pizza...
522
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,311
With sausage!
523
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:15,381
[ode to joy playing]
524
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:17,983
You suck.
525
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,786
Clara,
what are you doing?
526
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,855
I am laughing,
father.
527
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,490
Laughing!
528
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,025
My goodness, you are.
529
00:20:26,026 --> 00:20:27,793
I've never seen you
so happy.
530
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,062
Because i've never
been so happy.
531
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,598
Oh, clara,
that is all i've
ever wanted for you.
532
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,867
Who knew it was
dooting on pizza
533
00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:36,735
That would make you
so happy.
534
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,471
Oh, father,
I love you.
535
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,473
I love you, too.
536
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,042
Mmm...
Oh...
537
00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:45,544
Mmm...
538
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,212
[whispering]
you smell like your mother.
539
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,380
Oh, daddy.
540
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,381
What do you say,
crowny?
541
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,016
We good?
542
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,518
We good.
543
00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:54,019
Hey, you guys!
544
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:57,256
Captain hero and I just had
the best time at the zoo.
545
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,692
It was pretty fun.
546
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:03,429
Oh, gosh, I just love
happy endings.
547
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,799
[all screaming]
548
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,635
Oh, my god, they're
wearing hats!
549
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,970
We have finally destroyed
all the humans,
550
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,640
But we have also
learned from them.
551
00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:18,243
I did not order
a blaxicon with...
552
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,145
Seethle blark.
553
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,948
Ha ha ha.
You suck.
554
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,050
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
555
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,953
[child laughing]
556
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,689
[sultry music playing]
557
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,726
Mmm!
558
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,430
Mmm!
559
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,100
Mmm!
560
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,540
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
561
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:56,982
Mwah!
562
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,984
[whispering]
you smell like your mother.
563
00:21:59,305 --> 00:22:59,481
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