1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:02,602
Captain hero, narrating:
wednesday morning
was guys night.

2
00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:05,638
So we were playing
our favorite drinking game.

3
00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:06,506
We watchdrawn together,

4
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:07,807
And whenever
anything gay happens,

5
00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:09,542
We all take a shot.

6
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:12,145
[Sniffs]

7
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:15,181
Gay! Drink!
Gay! Drink!

8
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,085
Oh. It's already over?

9
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,820
But i'm barely drunk.

10
00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:23,423
Blecch!

11
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,592
So what should we do now?

12
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,761
Let's shave
ling-Ling's eyebrows.

13
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,496
Yeah! Fu'in eyebrows!

14
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,231
Blecch!

15
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,568
[Shouting]

16
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:43,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP

17
00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:49,015
[Panting]

18
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,184
Xandir?

19
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:52,485
Xandir?

20
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,220
Guys,
he's dead!

21
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:55,522
Ohh!

22
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,823
What should
we do?

23
00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,558
Let's get
some more beer!

24
00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,859
I'll drive!
Yay!
[Burps]

25
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:01,161
[Captain hero
laughs]

26
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:08,535
All: ♪♪ like makin'
love, love, love, love, love ♪♪

27
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,703
♪♪ i feel like makin' love ♪♪

28
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:13,306
[Scatting]

29
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:14,174
Take it, hero!

30
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:19,379
™ª
♪♪ feel like
making love to you ♪

31
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:20,680
Aah!

32
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,415
[Skidding]

33
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:25,018
Oh, my god.
We hit someone

34
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,620
Because we were
drinking and driving.

35
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:28,922
[Ding]

36
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:29,789
♪♪ the more you know ♪♪

37
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:30,657
I'll check it out.

38
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,392
Here. Take this.

39
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,693
[Gasps]

40
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,729
We ran over
a homeless guy.

41
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:38,031
So, you guys look...

42
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,200
[Gibberish]

43
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,501
How did you hear
about the party?

44
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,236
We have to
call the cops!

45
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,537
I won't go back
to rehab.

46
00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:46,272
I can't go back.

47
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:48,441
[Yelling]

48
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:49,742
[Cat yowls]

49
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:51,478
I guess we should
take him back to the house

50
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:52,779
And nurse him
back to health.

51
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,514
.
Oh, don't worry, buddy

52
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:57,984
We're gonna take
good care of you.

53
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:02,755
♪♪ i feel like makin' love
, love, love, da, da... ♪♪

54
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,961
[Hiccups]

55
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,298
.
Damn. You're beautiful

56
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,166
What's your name?

57
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,901
My name's charlotte.

58
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,202
Do you really think
i'm beautiful?

59
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:17,937
What the fuck
did i just say?!

60
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,239
Aww.

61
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,841
No one's ever
loved me enough
to yell at me before.

62
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:24,010
Oh, i'll love you
real good.

63
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:26,613
Just back
that little thorax
right up into me.

64
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,781
Oh, yeah.
I know what you like.

65
00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:31,384
[Spitting]

66
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:39,192
[Clearing throat]

67
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,059
[Zipper]

68
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,794
Oh, yeah.

69
00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:43,530
Yeah.

70
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:47,000
Ling-Ling, you
killed xylophone.

71
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,301
Who the hell
is ling-Ling?

72
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,036
Guys,
this is serious.

73
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:50,904
This time,
it was xandir,

74
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,205
But next time,
it could be someone

75
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:53,506
We actually
care about.

76
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,807
Oh, no!

77
00:02:54,807 --> 00:02:56,109
Ling-Ling
ain't gonna kill...

78
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:59,579
Uh...uh...

79
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,748
Neh....

80
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,483
Hohh.

81
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:05,218
What's his name?

82
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,519
Eh...

83
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,688
Ling-Ling can't kill
funyuns, can he?

84
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,857
[Speaking japanese]

85
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,062
[Doorbell rings]

86
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,870
You killed my son xandir.

87
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,906
He was a beautiful little boy,
and you killed him.

88
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,208
I want you to know that.

89
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,376
You knew there
was a shark out there,

90
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,678
But you let people
go swimming anyway.

91
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,846
Now my boy is dead.

92
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,015
I wanted you
to know that.

93
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,896
Hey, look!
The guys are gone!

94
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:53,366
Ooh.

95
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,667
Ahh.

96
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,704
[Yawns]

97
00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,872
Uhh, "some pig"?

98
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:03,343
Mm-Hmm. You were
some pig last night.

99
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,511
That was the hottest
interspecies sex

100
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:08,548
Since matthew broderick
nailed sarah jessica parker.

101
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:09,849
...
you're sayin' we, uh

102
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:11,584
8 times! Ha ha ha!

103
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:15,054
R.
So i was thinkin' we could go
to my parent's place for dinne

104
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:16,356
That would be
so much fun!

105
00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:18,524
Uh, i gotta go.

106
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:19,826
Call me?

107
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,995
Eh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got your number.

108
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,163
But you never even
looked at it!

109
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:27,200
There are 2 things
spanky ham doesn't forget:

110
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,236
.
Phone numbers and
his grandmother's birthday

111
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:33,273
[Sad piano plays]

112
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,309
Hero, it's your shift

113
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:38,044
To take care of
the homeless guy
we ran over--

114
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,779
Because we were
drinking and driving.

115
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,382
D'oh! But i was gonna
go mountain climbing.

116
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:44,550
Besides, i'm terrified
of homeless people,

117
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:47,153
With their open sores
and wrinkly, rancid
ball sacs.

118
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:48,454
Ptui!

119
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,189
I already
dressed his wounds.

120
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,057
I emptied his bedpan.

121
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,792
I even gave him
a kidney transplant.

122
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,660
Huh? Ooh?

123
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:54,961
Goddamn it!

124
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,130
The least you can do
is change his bandages.

125
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,865
After all,
we were drinking--

126
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,600
Oh, fine!

127
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,202
Oh, ho, ho!

128
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,504
You guys got me
a present!

129
00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:07,540
Please let it be
a random homeless bum.

130
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:11,878
Oh, my god.

131
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,047
This isn't a rando
m homeless bum.

132
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,348
This is him,

133
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,950
My...archnemesis!

134
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:21,854
[Dramatic organ plays]

135
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:30,530
Thank you for
sharing, ling-Ling.

136
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,699
Ling-Ling must find
source of anger.

137
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:36,602
Source of hulk anger
exposure to excessive
gamma radiation.

138
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,205
Ling-Ling, what
your gamma radiation?

139
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,579
[U can't touch thisplaying]

140
00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:49,615
[Scatting]

141
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:50,917
!
Ling-Ling can't touch this

142
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,086
♪♪ can't touch this ♪♪

143
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:55,254
[Thwack]

144
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:56,556
Aah!

145
00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:58,291
[Laughing]

146
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,738
Ling-Ling, you can
forget about dancing.

147
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,473
Like every kid
who has ever been adopted,

148
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,641
You are destined to kill.

149
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,244
[Roaring]

150
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,522
Hulk think
ling-Ling know

151
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,691
What ling-Ling
has to do now.

152
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,426
Ling-Ling must...

153
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:38,631
No, dance!

154
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:42,969
Oh, unless ling-Ling
want to kiss hulk.

155
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:45,571
Right, right.

156
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,608
Why would ling-Ling
want to kiss hulk?

157
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,644
Especially
when he looks so fat
in these pants!

158
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:55,114
Stupid hulk!
Stupid hulk!

159
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:59,185
Somehow, fate has delivered
my archnemesis

160
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,354
Right into my lap.

161
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,956
Oh, he's mine to kill.
But how?

162
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,125
But...how?

163
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:07,860
Why don't you just
pull the plug on him?

164
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,162
He's basically comatose.

165
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,463
Comatose like a fox!

166
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:13,933
No, i'll have to
come up with
the perfect plan.

167
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,403
[Cellphone rings]

168
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:18,271
Charlotte,
for the last time,

169
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:19,572
Stop calling!

170
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,645
Hero, what the hell
are you--Uhh!

171
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:27,814
[Giggling]

172
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:39,959
Hey, hero,

173
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,260
I thought you were
gonna kill your arch--

174
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:42,128
[Gagging]

175
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,707
What comes after
asphyxi-7?

176
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,442
Asphyxiate!

177
00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:57,743
[Yelling]

178
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,346
[Oboe playing]

179
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:04,684
Well, well, well.

180
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,720
Ling-Ling, i have not
seen you since, what,
sixth grade?

181
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,624
Ha ha ha ha!

182
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:12,925
You still want to dance,

183
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:14,660
And you think
these shoes will help?

184
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,432
If you want them,

185
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,601
You'll have to defeat
my newest and most horrific
battle monster,

186
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,336
Post-Pubescent
frankie muniz!

187
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,637
[Shrieks]

188
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,746
You will never
be a dancer!

189
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,782
You are a killer! Ha ha ha!

190
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,385
Oh, look.
Ling-Ling is gone.

191
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:42,855
[Yelling]

192
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,590
Captain hero, narrating:
there i was,

193
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,193
Seconds away from destroying
the most evil man

194
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,494
I had ever known.

195
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:51,531
But i couldn't kill a man
on his deathbed.

196
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,266
Are you here
to kill me?

197
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,736
No. No,
my worthy adversary.

198
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:57,603
Not today.

199
00:08:57,603 --> 00:08:58,905
But you must.

200
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,507
It is your sworn duty
as a superhero.

201
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,676
[Chuckles]
you said, "duty."

202
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:05,845
I know.
I--I totally said "duty.

203
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,315
[Laughing]

204
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,050
I just knew
if we hung out,

205
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,351
We'd be friends.

206
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:13,653
Really? Me, too.

207
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,689
Well, old pal,
i guess my new sworn duty

208
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,424
Is to nurse you
back to health.

209
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:20,159
You totally
said, "duty," again.

210
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:21,027
Ha ha ha!

211
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,762
Why is that funny?

212
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:25,364
Spanky, i had
a really great time
with you.

213
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:26,666
Can i come inside?

214
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,401
In about 30 seconds,

215
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,871
I was gonna ask you
the same thing.

216
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,473
Ooh, how droll.

217
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,510
Spanky: ah?!

218
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:38,811
[Charlotte reading webs]

219
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,523
Ha ha ha!

220
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,559
You have
another girlfriend?

221
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,728
And i thought
you were different!

222
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:58,331
[Crying]

223
00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,198
[Beep]

224
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,367
Extermination company?

225
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,102
I got a problem.

226
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:07,006
Hero,
will you read to me?

227
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,741
Read to you? Ha!

228
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:10,476
I'd just as soon kill
an innocent waitress

229
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:13,079
As she walked to her car
after her shift ended
2 days ago.

230
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,681
But i'm too weak
to read by myself.

231
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:16,549
[Coughs]

232
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,151
Ok, fine.

233
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,886
"I..."

234
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,188
Oh, i can't read!

235
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,489
Ok?
There, i said it!

236
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,224
I can't read!

237
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,393
And now you're afraid to try.

238
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,128
[Whimpering]

239
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,598
Don't be afraid anymore,
for i am with you.

240
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,767
Now pick up that book
and read!

241
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:38,237
Read like
you've never read before!

242
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:45,177
"I n-N-Never thought
it would h-Happen to me."

243
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,045
Keep going,

244
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:46,912
Yes.

245
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,515
"I whipped out
my 7-Inch d-D-D--"

246
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:50,816
Sound it out.

247
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,118
"Dick!

248
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,286
And fed it to her
voluptuous t-T--"

249
00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:56,022
You can do it!
"Tits!"

250
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,323
By the way,
do you wear reading glasses?

251
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,925
Oh, yeah.
I totally forgot.

252
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:02,094
"And then we both
shouted with pleasure

253
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:05,564
And collapsed
in a soaking-Wet puddle
of sticky delight!"

254
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,733
I'm actually reading!

255
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:19,011
Wow! I can't believe
we got the real ling-Ling!

256
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,614
And we were about
to give the part
to fran drescher.

257
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,650
Yoko ono, mitsubishi.

258
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,819
I have a small penis.

259
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,120
[Laughing]

260
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:29,422
As a formality, ling-Ling,

261
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,723
You mind showin' us
some of your moves?

262
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:37,229
♪♪ the itsy-Bitsy spider
went up the waterspout ♪♪

263
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:40,700
♪♪ down came the rain
and washed the spider out ♪♪

264
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,736
♪♪ out came the sun
and dried up all the rain ♪♪

265
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:48,074
♪♪ and the itsy-Bitsy spider
went up the spout again ♪♪

266
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,809
Ha ha! Yes.

267
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,977
Sweet merciful jesus!

268
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:54,580
You're the worst dancer
i've ever seen!

269
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,255
Ling-Ling dream, huh?

270
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:04,557
Ok, kid,
i'll give you a chance.

271
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,292
It's a small part--
Judge fudge.

272
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,593
The real guy dropped out,

273
00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:09,762
'Cause apparently
he was far too busy
with somethin' else.

274
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,063
Yay!

275
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:14,967
Regret?

276
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,268
Unless directing
this musical

277
00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:17,136
Can give me more aids,

278
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:18,437
I don't regret
anything about it.

279
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,145
Hey! You know
what i did today?

280
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:29,181
I took the red line
all the way
across town--

281
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:30,049
Can't you fly?

282
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,651
I can do anything
now that i can read!

283
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:33,953
When you get better,

284
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,254
We can ride the bus
together

285
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,555
Like we always
talked about.

286
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,724
I'm afraid that's
not gonna happen, chum.

287
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:42,194
I only have hours...
to live.

288
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:43,062
Ohh!

289
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,363
[Dramatic organ plays]

290
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:51,303
Wow! A stage show
with no quarter slot
or plexiglas window.

291
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:52,605
Mmm, that's class.

292
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,774
Hey, look!
The guys are gone!

293
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:07,787
N.
The zipper's broke

294
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,293
Darn this stupid thing.

295
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,161
Hey,
unpredictable gorilla?

296
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,329
If you help me
with my zipper,

297
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:18,197
I'll give you
this sparkler.

298
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,932
Huh?

299
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,233
[Screaming]
[roaring]

300
00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:27,306
Oh, no!

301
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:29,475
Something happened
to gwyneth paltrow.

302
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,945
Ling-Ling, you have
to take her place
as the star!

303
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:48,127
Hey, uh, thanks
for givin' me
another shot.

304
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:51,163
Now, are you sure
you're finished with
that crazy spider girl?

305
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,766
Because i am too classy
to be the second woman.

306
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,368
Unless, of course,
we're having a piss orgy.

307
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,971
Don't worry,
sweetheart.

308
00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:00,706
I called
an exterminator.

309
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:01,574
[Gasps]

310
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:02,875
Boba!

311
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,646
Good-Bye, old soldier.

312
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,249
I will avenge you.

313
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,852
I will avenge you!

314
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:17,623
[Crying]

315
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:20,226
Cruel fate.
You can't die!

316
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,394
We never rode the bus!

317
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,997
.
Now, now.
I've lived a full life

318
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:27,600
I only wish
that before i go,

319
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,335
I could--Oh, never mind.

320
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,503
No. What is it,
dear nemesis?

321
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:33,672
You gave me
the gift of words.

322
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:34,974
I'll do anything!

323
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,142
Well, since you asked,
i'm a villain,

324
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:40,179
And as i prepare to move
into the next world,

325
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:43,215
I must have the evil
washed from my body.

326
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:46,252
Wooldoor gave you
a sponge bath this morning.

327
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,987
But he didn't
clean all of me,

328
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,589
And if--If i'm
to meet my maker,

329
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,758
My entire body
must be cleansed.

330
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:57,963
It is my dying wish
for you to finish the job.

331
00:14:57,963 --> 00:15:01,000
[Flies buzzing, foghorn]

332
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:04,904
Not...your...balls!

333
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,278
Or is he?

334
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,615
I came to see you dance.

335
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:21,820
I was just jealous.

336
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,122
I, too, always wanted
to be a dancer
as well, also,

337
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,423
But i didn't
have the talent.

338
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,158
So i tortured you
relentlessly

339
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:27,893
Until you became
a sociopathic killer,

340
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,628
Crushing your dreams.
My bad.

341
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:34,833
Gash know
ling-Ling can dance...

342
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,135
With these!

343
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:39,605
[Gasps]

344
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,943
Listen, charlotte,
i wanted to get together

345
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,244
So we could
talk face to face

346
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,979
And put and end
to this nonsense.

347
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:48,280
!
I'm so glad you called

348
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,449
I have something
wonderful to show you.

349
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:51,750
Ta-Da!

350
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,052
I've already started
thinking of names.

351
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:54,353
There's mordechai,
shlomo, avi,

352
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,220
Bracha,
spider number 72--

353
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:57,823
Sweet mother
of all that's holy!

354
00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,124
Aren't they beautiful?

355
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,727
Ha ha ha!

356
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,896
Yeah.
Yeah, they're precious.

357
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:07,800
Uh...you know,
let's celebrate
by ordering a big feast.

358
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,969
My babies!
You monster.

359
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,137
I'm gonna make
--

360
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,306
Mmm...uh...

361
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,607
I'll have the pork chops.

362
00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:17,776
What am i to do?

363
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:20,813
My nemesis taught me
to read, but now...

364
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,982
He wants me to
wash his balls,

365
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,283
And i really
don't feel like it.

366
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,319
God, give me a sign.

367
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,922
[Baa baa]

368
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:32,091
So...what does that mean,
exactly?

369
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:35,127
Oh, well, i guess it's up to m
e to figure this out,

370
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:36,862
Through song.

371
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:41,633
♪♪ how can i face
the shriveled balls
of my decrepit nemesis? ♪♪

372
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,670
♪♪ i can smell that crotch
from here ♪♪

373
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,272
♪♪ that sac has not been cleaned
in years ♪♪

374
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:52,911
♪♪ it's gotta be drenched
in layers of sweat and piss ♪♪

375
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:54,646
♪♪
♪♪ but he taught me how to read

376
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,815
♪♪ and that has opened up
new worlds ♪♪

377
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,117
♪♪ still that stench ♪♪

378
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,153
♪♪ rancid flesh
soaked in crotch juice,
pus, and ass ♪♪

379
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:05,057
♪♪ good god,
it makes me want to hurl ♪♪

380
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:08,093
♪♪ but i can't deny him
his denying wish ♪♪

381
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:11,130
♪♪ even though
i swear i'll faint ♪♪

382
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,732
♪♪ if i find
some ancient dingleberry ♪♪

383
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,335
♪♪ sticking to his taint ♪♪

384
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,937
♪♪ but wait!
I must stand for something! ♪♪

385
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:21,974
™ª
♪♪ i'm a hero, after all ♪

386
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,143
♪♪ i must have the balls ♪♪

387
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,311
♪♪ to face his nasty, cadaverous
, spidery-Pubed ♪♪

388
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,480
♪♪ rash-Ridden, lice-Infested,
limburger-Smelling ♪♪

389
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:34,119
♪♪ retch-Inducing balls ♪♪

390
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,690
♪♪ i'm a single guy
in my 20s ♪♪

391
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,859
♪♪ and my sunglasses
are stylin' ♪♪

392
00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:42,161
♪♪ i sometimes hang
at the house ♪♪

393
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:43,462
♪♪
♪♪ i'm steve from long island

394
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:44,763
[Applause]

395
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,065
.
You're on, kid

396
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,740
Yay. Yay. Yay.

397
00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:10,355
[Gasps]

398
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:11,657
Really?

399
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,826
Thank you, too, also.

400
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,994
[Show tune playing]

401
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:23,368
Yah?

402
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,971
Ohh! Frankie muniz
supposed to be

403
00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:28,140
Gash's battle monster

404
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,007
Down in front!

405
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,044
Yeah!
Sit down, asshole!

406
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:37,683
[People screaming]

407
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:42,020
Yah!

408
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:43,755
No, ling-Ling.
You've escaped
that life.

409
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:46,358
If you battle him,
you may never escape it
again as well.

410
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,033
[Show tune playing]

411
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,070
Captain hero,

412
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:01,106
I'm not much longer
for this world.

413
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:03,275
Shh.
Save your strength.

414
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:05,878
And prepare to meet
your forefathers...

415
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,179
Cleansed,

416
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:10,215
For i will wash
your balls.

417
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:13,252
God bless you.

418
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:15,854
I'm allergic to latex.

419
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,589
Of course you are.

420
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,493
[Winces]

421
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,228
Suction.

422
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,265
[Whoosh]

423
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,602
[Whirring]

424
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,085
[Squeaks]

425
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:47,953
Voila!

426
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,556
♪♪ your balls are clean ♪♪

427
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,459
They certainly are!

428
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,628
Ha ha ha!

429
00:19:56,628 --> 00:20:00,098
Once again, i've tricked
the mighty captain hero

430
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:02,701
Into washing my balls!

431
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,737
But the car crash,
the reading,
the bus schedule!

432
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:10,075
All part of my fiendish plot,
and you fell for it!

433
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:12,244
So long, captain hero.

434
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:14,413
Thanks for the clean balls!

435
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,582
Ha ha ha!

436
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,750
Damn you, scroto!

437
00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:20,485
Ohh.

438
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:21,787
His name is scroto?

439
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,088
Yes.

440
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,691
So that's what
your archnemesis does?

441
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:26,558
Yep.

442
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:27,859
No bank robberies?

443
00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:28,727
Uh-Uh.

444
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,028
Or blowing up
the planet?

445
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:31,330
Nope.

446
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,065
He just tricks superheroes
into washing his balls?

447
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,800
Not all superheroes.

448
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,836
Just me. Just me.

449
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:40,005
What a strange,
strange villain.

450
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:45,210
[Sniffs]

451
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,379
Gay! Drink!
Drink!

452
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,548
[Gulping]
[belch]

453
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:52,584
♪♪ your balls are clean ♪♪

454
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:54,519
[Farting
and slurping]

455
00:20:57,122 --> 00:21:00,158
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--Www.Ncicap.Org--

456
00:21:01,305 --> 00:22:01,266
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