1 00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:47,479 Shit! Shit! Shit! 2 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,360 - What the fuck was that, Doctor? - I think you know. 3 00:00:50,605 --> 00:00:54,645 - I wanna hear you fuckin' say it, Mr Science. - Wait, wait, wait... 4 00:00:54,646 --> 00:00:56,846 Ugh! 5 00:00:59,396 --> 00:01:01,856 Tell me, Doctor, is that as fast as you can run? 6 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:04,812 - I'm afraid so, Mr. Flynn. - Good, it'll catch you first 7 00:01:04,813 --> 00:01:07,965 and I'll be able to get the hell out of here while it's eating you. 8 00:01:13,730 --> 00:01:15,930 Fuck you! 9 00:01:21,563 --> 00:01:23,763 Oh, shit! 10 00:01:30,730 --> 00:01:33,270 Is that what we're looking for, Doctor? 11 00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:38,560 I think it might be, Mr. Flynn. 12 00:01:38,813 --> 00:01:41,273 Do try to at least act excited. 13 00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:44,942 Mercenaries are like hookers, Doctor: 14 00:01:45,019 --> 00:01:47,266 pretending to be excited costs extra. 15 00:01:50,563 --> 00:01:53,233 Simon, here's a test for you. 16 00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:06,812 - Can you translate? - Hmm, let me see. 17 00:02:06,813 --> 00:02:11,233 "Entombed here... the Devourer of Children... 18 00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:15,979 the Black Prince, the Sucker of Souls"? 19 00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:18,983 Sucker. Heh, yeah. 20 00:02:19,396 --> 00:02:21,645 Hey, boss, how's it going? 21 00:02:21,646 --> 00:02:23,312 Slowly. 22 00:02:23,313 --> 00:02:26,233 We've been in this fucking tomb for over an hour. 23 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,213 Would you tell him to hurry up? 24 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,113 I'm freezing my tits off back here. 25 00:02:32,521 --> 00:02:36,479 - I'll be sure to relay that message, Micky. - Mr. Flynn, this is definitely it. 26 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,940 I will need the rest of the equipment, ASAP. 27 00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:41,221 Okay, Doc. 28 00:03:13,313 --> 00:03:15,513 Ahhh! 29 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,395 Geez... 30 00:03:22,105 --> 00:03:24,020 Doctor! 31 00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,270 Doctor! 32 00:03:27,563 --> 00:03:30,680 Oh, fuck me. 33 00:03:35,688 --> 00:03:38,058 Oh, my God, Simon! 34 00:03:39,563 --> 00:03:42,113 Come on, kid. Get out of the way! 35 00:04:12,563 --> 00:04:15,193 What the fuck?! 36 00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,145 Run! 37 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:46,860 Micky, Gary, get the weapons ready. We're coming in hot. 38 00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,812 Are those boffins trying to grab your bum again? 39 00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:52,483 Yeah, I saw that little one eyeing ya. 40 00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:54,479 Quit fucking around, I'm serious. 41 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,940 Shite! Copy that, chief. 42 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,680 Hold on, Doc. 43 00:05:03,813 --> 00:05:06,013 - Oh. - Shit. 44 00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,436 Shit, get back! 45 00:05:15,521 --> 00:05:18,901 It's him, the Impaler. Dracula! 46 00:05:20,146 --> 00:05:22,354 I did not think we would find him alive. 47 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:27,606 Well, of course you didn't. And isn't this a fine fucking mess? 48 00:05:35,063 --> 00:05:37,443 Fuck! 49 00:05:41,396 --> 00:05:45,396 Come on, fuck nuts. You want to laugh at me? Go ahead. 50 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,437 I'll cut the smile right off of ya. 51 00:05:47,438 --> 00:05:53,388 _ 52 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:58,187 - What'd he say, Doc? - He said you're a warrior. 53 00:05:58,188 --> 00:06:00,688 God damn right I'm a warrior. 54 00:06:02,605 --> 00:06:05,435 Yes, but he also added that he's looking forward 55 00:06:05,521 --> 00:06:07,354 to eating your still beating heart. 56 00:06:24,855 --> 00:06:26,270 What the fuck, Doc? 57 00:06:26,271 --> 00:06:28,437 - He hates cats. - What? 58 00:06:28,438 --> 00:06:31,808 The legend has it that feeding on them makes his flesh burn. 59 00:06:32,146 --> 00:06:36,106 The locals would torment him by bringing hundreds of cats to the fortress. 60 00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:47,356 Huh. Well, he's not the first man who got in trouble for eatin' a little pussy. 61 00:06:51,646 --> 00:06:55,680 - Do you think something held them up? - Huh, I don't know, Gary. 62 00:07:00,396 --> 00:07:02,596 Micky, Gary! 63 00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:06,788 Shut the door! Shut the door! 64 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,110 Oh, so you found one too? 65 00:07:17,105 --> 00:07:19,354 Little pussy here saved our lives. 66 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:23,687 - Yeah, I know it saved my life a few times. - Cut the shit, Gary. 67 00:07:23,688 --> 00:07:27,398 There's a fucking monster out there, and it was gonna eat our asses. 68 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,980 Something was gonna eat your ass? 69 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,060 Now that's a gutsy fashion statement. 70 00:07:33,438 --> 00:07:37,218 - Is that real Korean grad student? - God damn it, Gary. 71 00:07:37,318 --> 00:07:39,645 - Oh, no no... - Upsy-daisy, fella. 72 00:07:39,646 --> 00:07:43,146 Stop with all the yodeling and tell them what's behind that door. 73 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:46,440 Because that thing is between us and the only way out. 74 00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:50,604 - It is the Impaler. - Isn't that a type of car? 75 00:07:50,605 --> 00:07:54,312 - That's an Impala, you stupid cunt. - Oh, right. 76 00:07:54,313 --> 00:07:59,645 - So there's a Dracula out there, then? - Not a Dracula. 77 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:03,104 - The Dracula. - Are you serious? 78 00:08:03,105 --> 00:08:05,605 Fuck right off, you weird little man. 79 00:08:05,688 --> 00:08:08,808 It's true. He ate the tiny research assistant. 80 00:08:09,313 --> 00:08:12,313 Anyway, what's the state of play with our ordinance, Gary? 81 00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:14,646 Not particularly tickity, to be honest. 82 00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:17,480 Weren't expecting gunfights with angry vampires. 83 00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,939 We've got two boxes of ammo for the P90s, 84 00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:21,523 four magazines for the sidearms, 85 00:08:21,605 --> 00:08:25,605 shotgun, couple of old battle maces, bottle of 2000-year-old wine 86 00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:29,134 and I've got a smidge of C4, if it helps. 87 00:08:29,169 --> 00:08:31,805 Why? Why do you have C4, Gary? 88 00:08:32,146 --> 00:08:35,437 - Uhhh... cave-ins? - It's not enough. 89 00:08:35,438 --> 00:08:38,518 - What? - I said, it's not enough. 90 00:08:38,896 --> 00:08:41,516 You're not dealing with Taliban terrorists here. 91 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:46,685 You're dealing with an ancient evil that defeats whole armies 92 00:08:46,771 --> 00:08:48,895 and feasts on their entrails. 93 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,476 Not helping, Doctor. 94 00:08:52,688 --> 00:08:54,687 How big is this fucker? 95 00:08:54,688 --> 00:08:56,645 Where's the fucking cat? 96 00:08:56,646 --> 00:08:59,476 - There's the cats, fucking. - Oh, come on! 97 00:08:59,563 --> 00:09:02,653 You got suggestions, Doctor, now's the time to make 'em. 98 00:09:03,563 --> 00:09:06,363 I'm an archaeologist, Mr. Flynn, not a tactician. 99 00:09:06,438 --> 00:09:09,478 Well, I'm an ex-soldier, not Buffy the fucking Vampire Slayer, 100 00:09:09,563 --> 00:09:11,312 but you don't see me crying in a corner. 101 00:09:11,313 --> 00:09:13,312 Now think, damn it! 102 00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:20,471 This place was built to withstand siege. There must be other exits. 103 00:09:21,313 --> 00:09:25,230 I think I may have something. The map marked another egress point. 104 00:09:30,396 --> 00:09:32,354 Secret door! Beautiful. 105 00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:38,937 - Hey, boss? - Yes, Gary? 106 00:09:38,938 --> 00:09:42,058 - About that C4... - Do it. 107 00:09:43,063 --> 00:09:45,443 Just don't bring the whole damn castle down on us. 108 00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:48,483 Oh, shit. 109 00:09:58,438 --> 00:10:00,638 Fire! 110 00:10:15,355 --> 00:10:17,555 Door shut, now! 111 00:10:25,938 --> 00:10:29,058 _ 112 00:10:29,059 --> 00:10:32,179 __ 113 00:10:44,115 --> 00:10:48,104 - Sounds like he found our little gift. - Shit, sorry! 114 00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:08,608 - Every time, Gary! - What? Better too much than too little. 115 00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:15,895 - Where did you say this tunnel led to? - More prison cells. 116 00:11:15,896 --> 00:11:18,774 Probably cells for more... 117 00:11:25,855 --> 00:11:29,404 You've got to be fucking kidding me.