1 00:00:36,695 --> 00:00:38,319 The assholes wouldn't leave. 2 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,004 I had to call the goddamn Sheriff 3 00:00:40,005 --> 00:00:42,530 to cart them and their scrawny fucktard kids away. 4 00:00:42,986 --> 00:00:45,446 Ah, crap! Goddammit. 5 00:00:46,945 --> 00:00:48,777 Fuck! 6 00:00:48,778 --> 00:00:50,527 I don't know, a dead possum. 7 00:00:54,070 --> 00:00:56,650 What a shit hole. 8 00:00:56,986 --> 00:01:01,446 Listen, I gotta go. Another day, another eviction. 9 00:01:06,111 --> 00:01:08,311 This dump's my home. 10 00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:10,561 The only one I ever had. 11 00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:13,653 Some people may not think much of it. 12 00:01:14,195 --> 00:01:18,594 But me and my buddy Otto like it here just fine. 13 00:01:21,861 --> 00:01:25,741 And the good book says, "A man's home is his castle 14 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:28,152 and whosoevereth trespasses 15 00:01:28,153 --> 00:01:31,650 shall be struck down with fire and lightning." 16 00:01:32,153 --> 00:01:37,533 And since I ain't got no lightning, I tend just to keep it real simple, like. 17 00:01:40,616 --> 00:01:43,900 I'm about to blow your head off, fat boy. 18 00:01:44,653 --> 00:01:46,863 Mr. Dvorchack, I presume? 19 00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:49,819 City Inspector. 20 00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:59,110 I've been habitating here more than 20-odd years now. 21 00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:06,718 And some new high-falutin' sanitation law don't mean shit to me, Mr. City Inspector. 22 00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:08,953 Oh, but I'm afraid it does mean something 23 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,528 to the owners of the condominiums they're building next door. 24 00:02:11,611 --> 00:02:14,451 So, you see, everything in this dump has got to go, 25 00:02:14,528 --> 00:02:16,527 including you, Mr. Dvorchack. 26 00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:19,068 - So, if you'll just sign these papers... - Otto! 27 00:02:19,111 --> 00:02:21,311 Otto! C'mere, boy! 28 00:02:22,903 --> 00:02:27,355 Oh, dang critter. Always scrounging for food. 29 00:02:27,528 --> 00:02:31,948 Yeah, I tell you what... how about we crack a couple of cold beers 30 00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:34,358 while I spin ya a little yarn? 31 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,065 And you still want Otto and me gone when I'm done, 32 00:02:37,153 --> 00:02:41,998 well, I'll sign whatever you want and we clear on out. 33 00:02:42,033 --> 00:02:45,818 - Dang lighter! - I'm a busy man, Mr. Dvorchack. 34 00:02:45,903 --> 00:02:49,113 I don't have time for drunken ramblings and crazy stories. 35 00:02:49,195 --> 00:02:50,819 If we could just move this... 36 00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,150 - One night, couple years back... - Oh. Fuck me. 37 00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:55,444 ...me and my friend Pearly, we... 38 00:02:55,445 --> 00:02:57,645 Eh? 39 00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:06,030 Me and my friend Pearly were having a drink and conversatin', like. 40 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,920 Oh, boy, I tell ya. 41 00:03:10,211 --> 00:03:13,501 Hell, you oughta get up off yer duff and see the world. 42 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:18,996 Oh, what for? Everything I need ends up here eventually. 43 00:03:19,086 --> 00:03:21,546 Oh, yeah? What about women? 44 00:03:21,628 --> 00:03:24,085 I don't see no women round here. 45 00:03:24,086 --> 00:03:26,044 Pearly, she's right there. 46 00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:28,495 Oh, sorry. No offense, Betty. 47 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:31,377 But I am telling you, boy. 48 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:36,548 Down in Laredo, they got these river trash whores. Ooh, boy! 49 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:39,920 They can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. 50 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,919 Hey, you hear that? 51 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,710 It's just rats. Tell me about the whores. 52 00:03:45,128 --> 00:03:48,498 Hold your horses a minute. My back teeth are floating. 53 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,794 Come on out, ya little monster. 54 00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:01,870 Yeah, boy. 55 00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:11,377 What? 56 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,995 What in the hell? 57 00:04:34,753 --> 00:04:36,877 Don't shoot the rats! 58 00:04:36,878 --> 00:04:39,248 It's good company. 59 00:04:39,336 --> 00:04:41,916 What in tarnation? 60 00:04:45,378 --> 00:04:47,627 We gotta get the hell outta Dodge! 61 00:04:47,628 --> 00:04:49,838 - There's something out there? - What the hell is it? 62 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:53,370 It's coming. 63 00:04:55,836 --> 00:04:57,127 What is it? 64 00:04:57,128 --> 00:05:00,128 Damned if I know! It's eyes everywhere! 65 00:05:00,378 --> 00:05:03,048 All manner of crap stickin' out of it. 66 00:05:03,586 --> 00:05:05,786 It's all shiny and wet. 67 00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,210 My balls! 68 00:05:18,545 --> 00:05:20,544 Aargh! Help me! 69 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,419 I don't wanna go! 70 00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:26,460 Let go, Pearly! 71 00:05:26,461 --> 00:05:28,419 I can't shoot! 72 00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:35,960 Pearly! 73 00:05:55,961 --> 00:05:58,171 Give my friend back, motherfucker! 74 00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:03,586 I'ma get you, you son of a bitch. 75 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,120 Die! 76 00:06:51,253 --> 00:06:53,453 What in the shit? 77 00:07:11,086 --> 00:07:12,960 Now fuck me ragged. 78 00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:15,161 A puppy. 79 00:07:19,753 --> 00:07:22,843 And that's when a big old light bulb went off in my head. 80 00:07:23,336 --> 00:07:28,086 This here monster wasn't just created by all the heat and garbage. 81 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:30,370 It lived off it. 82 00:07:30,628 --> 00:07:34,668 And whatever it ate became a part of it. 83 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:46,993 They're gonna love this one back at the office. Sorry. 84 00:07:47,295 --> 00:07:49,875 So, you were saying about Curly? 85 00:07:50,128 --> 00:07:54,594 - His name was Pearly. - Right. 86 00:07:54,628 --> 00:07:58,588 And it's an absolutely riveting tale, Mr. Dvorchack, 87 00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:02,920 but I can actually feel myself getting septic shock sitting here. 88 00:08:03,003 --> 00:08:06,053 So, if you'll just make a big X on those papers, 89 00:08:06,128 --> 00:08:08,378 I can finally get out of this shit hole. 90 00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:12,226 Otto! There you are, boy! 91 00:08:19,545 --> 00:08:21,710 W-What? 92 00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:23,911 No! No! No... 93 00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:26,536 No. No! 94 00:08:26,586 --> 00:08:28,669 Mr. Dvorchack! 95 00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:41,080 Yep. The way I see it... 96 00:08:41,545 --> 00:08:46,205 you hang around a dump long enough and the world comes to you. 97 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,085 Ain't that right, Otto? 98 00:08:57,795 --> 00:09:01,591 Here, boy! Attaboy! 99 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:04,800 Yes, sir, the dump's my home. 100 00:09:05,302 --> 00:09:09,522 The best damn home I've ever had.