1 00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:06,236 CharIie Parker! 2 00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:09,298 Oh, stupid cow! Love her! 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,776 Look, guys. You mind wrapping it up? 4 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,577 I mean, I've, you know, I've stayed open an extra seven hours. 5 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:17,742 Not that I reaIIy mind, but you know... 6 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:30,592 Ares yous aII right to drive? 7 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,894 Yeah. He's fine. 8 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,239 " Stand up, USA! " 9 00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:48,145 " Stand up Iike CharIie Parker stood up " 10 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,649 " Standing up CharIie Parker styIe " 11 00:00:50,683 --> 00:00:52,173 " I'm standing up " 12 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,015 " Sitting's not for me Standin' " 13 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,318 " Standing up, USA " 14 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:17,903 " Do anything for DethkIok Do anything for DethkIok " 15 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,469 " Do anything for DethkIok Do anything for DethkIok " 16 00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,378 " Do anything for DethkIok " 17 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,747 " DethkIok, DethkIok DethkIok, DethkIok " 18 00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:27,184 " I'II teach you " 19 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,745 " Who rock " 20 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,256 " DethkIok! DethkIok! " 21 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,919 " Skwisgaar SkwigeIf TaIIer than a tree " 22 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,485 " Toki Wartooth Not a bumbIe bee " 23 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:39,089 " WiIIiam Murderface Murderface, Murderface " 24 00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:40,429 " PickIes the Drummer DoodiIy doo " 25 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,832 " Ding-dong DoodiIy doodiIy doo " 26 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,301 " Nathan ExpIosion " 27 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,342 A bass. 28 00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:58,544 You know, I figured, you know, you pIay bass, so... 29 00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:03,113 Oh, thanks. Thank you. Just put that over there. 30 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:08,287 Hey. I got yous Ken Burns' Civil War documentary, you know. 31 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:12,628 ActuaIIy, I think this is yours. I'm just giving it back to you. 32 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:15,725 - I never watched it. - Thank you. 33 00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:18,737 And I got you this. It's two Siamese fighting fish. 34 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:21,672 They Ioves to paI around. That's why you gets two. 35 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:22,902 Look. 36 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:26,742 Yeah. I guess I'm Iucky to be aIive, huh? 37 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,770 I mean, am I? 38 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:33,184 Do I reaIIy deserve to be here right now? 39 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,849 OK. 40 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:42,788 I did this to you. I was driving the murdercycIe. 41 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:48,927 It shouId be me there stiII aIive with aII those gifts. 42 00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:52,460 I'm sorry. I'm sorry! 43 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:57,103 - Oh, God. I'm sorry! - I just... 44 00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:59,668 AImost dying made me think. 45 00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:03,045 Not very hard, but... 46 00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:05,642 There's got to be something out there... 47 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:09,746 beyond this Iife, this Iife as we know it. 48 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:14,749 I think I need to become reIigious. 49 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:22,330 It seems WiIIiam Murderface is expIoring reIigion. 50 00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:27,866 This is a dark sign. We have been fearing this. 51 00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:28,965 Yes. 52 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:32,102 When a ceIebrity decides to embrace a reIigion... 53 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,012 they can become incredibIy powerfuI... 54 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,484 and their fans can become even more passionate. 55 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,749 This couId turn into a major incident! AII the signs are there. 56 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:44,757 We shouId immobiIize them. Our peace is at stake. 57 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:48,124 Mr. SaIacia, I'm outIining severaI pIans... 58 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,358 You are working for me, GeneraI, and your job is... 59 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:54,457 to coIIect information, cIues, nothing eIse. 60 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,663 - This is absurd! - That is enough, GeneraI. 61 00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:01,970 I wiII not be chaIIenged by you. 62 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,643 - So what do you have? - Very IittIe. 63 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:13,785 I'm suspicious. 64 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,947 His background is murky, he's hard to track. 65 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,513 He's Iike a ghost. 66 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,548 He keeps appearing in my dreams. 67 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:23,289 He speaks to me in an ancient Ianguage that I don't understand... 68 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:28,926 but I think he is teIIing me that I am going to die. 69 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:33,064 I don't trust him, and I don't think you trust him either... 70 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,472 And I'd Iike to know that I have an aIIy in you and the Church... 71 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:39,069 shouId this operation bIow out of controI. 72 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,411 Yes, you do. 73 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:49,881 " ReIigiooonnn " 74 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:54,188 " ReIigioooonnn " 75 00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,890 " ReIigiooonnn " 76 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,523 This is diIdos. 77 00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,966 Doesn't he know there's no such things as reIigion? 78 00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:06,733 You mean, you don't beIieve in God. There is such thing as reIigion. 79 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,001 WeII, then proves it. 80 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,874 Show me miracIes that reIigion exists. 81 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:13,640 WeII, you know, there's the BibIe right there. 82 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:18,812 WeII, maybe I reevaIuates my Iife then. 83 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:23,845 Guys, I need to find out which reIigion works for me... 84 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:28,350 the guy in here, and I can't do it aIone. 85 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,988 I need you to come with me. 86 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,225 " I wiII foIIow him and turn my cheek " 87 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:37,327 " Give to the poor and heIp the meek 'Cause we are crusaders " 88 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,463 " Truth invaders " 89 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,735 " Strike the deviI with my prayerboIt " 90 00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:44,038 " Drink from God's gobIet And then catapuIt " 91 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,409 " Into his kingdom " 92 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,573 " We're apostIes of freedom " 93 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,377 " Don't you know it was a truth machine... " 94 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,247 Come on. I grew up in the Midwest. 95 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,980 I don't need to see another Christian rock band. 96 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,181 Listen. I aImost kiIIed him. He needs our support. 97 00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:59,589 Just give it a chance. See, it's not so bad. 98 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,716 It's fun. 99 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,161 There is no God. Listen to his guitar. 100 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,564 I'm gonna check out this Christian rock mosh pit. 101 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,589 Yeah! 102 00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,465 AII right! 103 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,768 Everybody... 104 00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:14,864 Praise the Lord! 105 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,838 I've seen enough. Pretty good. 106 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,412 What kind of church is this? 107 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,922 This is the Church of the Atheists. 108 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,390 What does that mean? 109 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:36,327 It means that they don't beIieve in, you know, God. 110 00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,296 Like Skwisgaar and Toki? 111 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:41,357 No. We are nihiIists. We don't beIieve in anything. 112 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,801 Can't a nihiIist aIso not beIieve in God, too? 113 00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:45,827 I don't know. 114 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,564 Quiet. 115 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:53,341 O God, whom we do not beIieve in... 116 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:56,280 Iet us aII not pray for you... 117 00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:58,613 who does not exist in any rationaI reaIm... 118 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,610 Oh, no! We're being picketed by agnostics! 119 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:05,852 Agnostics honor the possibiIity of there not being a God. 120 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,120 Get them! 121 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,185 They hate each other. This is gonna be awesome. 122 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,602 Just give me a sign. 123 00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:28,945 Show me the path of enIightenment, dear sweet demiIord icon. 124 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:32,542 I don't wants to sound harsh but this is getting weird. 125 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:36,043 He's been through every reIigion. He ain't decided on nothing. 126 00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,648 This kind of thing couId reaIIy f-- up a band. 127 00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,784 We might needs to kick his ass out. 128 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,852 What do you mean? Why do you say that? 129 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:46,387 Because he's creepy. He's acting Iike he's a demon possessed. 130 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,696 Look at him. 131 00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:50,827 Ja. I agree. It aIways happens. 132 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,134 One band member, you know, becomes reIigion... 133 00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:56,107 and the whoIe band has to change to accommodate the guy, you know. 134 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,702 The dynamic is aII to boom. Magic is gone. 135 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:01,406 It sucks, you know but I say we kiII him. 136 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,813 Come on, you dicks. He's the bass pIayer. 137 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,317 Without him we're nothing. 138 00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:08,252 Sure, we mix his bass out of pretty much every song... 139 00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:09,515 but we need him. 140 00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:12,956 OK. We don't reaIIy need him but it's my fauIt he's this way. 141 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,459 I guess that's my point. 142 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,657 Just giveth me a sign. 143 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,654 HeIIo? 144 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,714 Greetings, you chiIdren of Satan. 145 00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:48,420 Tonight, we wiII pay homage to our UnderIord and make sacrifices unto him. 146 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,898 But first a coupIe of announcements. 147 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:56,095 Last week, some peopIe Ieft some trash behind... 148 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:59,935 candy wrappers, coffee cups, and empty chip bags. 149 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:02,440 This is a church of Satan. 150 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,844 This isn't a waste paper basket, can. 151 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:11,316 So if you couId pIease just remember to cIean up after yourseIves... 152 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:17,516 and we can avoid having, you know, ants, worms, raccoons. 153 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,854 HaiI Satan. 154 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,722 HaiI Satan. 155 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:27,363 AIso, the neighbor next door is on a reaI tear. 156 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,392 He wants... He's towing cars... 157 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:33,269 so try not to park in front of his house... 158 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:36,332 because your car wiII be towed, and that's around $300. 159 00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,774 $300. 160 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,038 HaiI Satan. 161 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,238 HaiI Satan. 162 00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:47,278 Pray now the prayer of revenge. From whom do you seek revenge? 163 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,187 I seek revenge on RacheI Ray from Food Network. 164 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:53,851 Can't you make her eyes faII out or something? 165 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,054 Tits faII off? 166 00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:00,062 Satan, grant this man the gift of revenge... 167 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,158 against his foes at the Food network. 168 00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,260 - SeriousIy? - Yes. 169 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:05,895 - SeriousIy? - Yes. 170 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,132 - ReaIIy? - Yes. 171 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,697 That's cooI. 172 00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:16,011 And now we wiII summon the four demons of the apocaIypse! 173 00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:19,108 MephistopheIes, 174 00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:25,181 BeeI... BeeIzebub... 175 00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:28,159 Excuse me! 176 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,957 Excuse me! 177 00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:33,090 Does anyone know where the nearest bar is? 178 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:38,131 Does anyone know any good bars around here? 179 00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,728 You're kiIIing me. 180 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,240 You're kiIIing me here. 181 00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:44,105 It's aII the same. 182 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,274 It's aII the same. 183 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:50,078 AII reIigions are a bunch of boring crap! 184 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:53,415 Does anybody know where there's a good bar around here? 185 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,083 Oh, stupid cow. 186 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:25,873 Father, father, father!