1
00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:03,927
[ cheering ]

2
00:00:04,218 --> 00:00:07,119
ANNOUNCER:
Come on,
let's see those horns!

3
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Let's see those horns!

4
00:00:09,457 --> 00:00:10,355
[ cheering ]

5
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With Dethklok's help and my
666-point business plan,

6
00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:18,321
we will make this world better.

7
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Come on!

8
00:00:21,102 --> 00:00:23,434
Let's see a pit down here.

9
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Why do they have us right here
in front of all these dildos?

10
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Yeah, l mean,
we're right in front of everybody.

11
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lt's like they're gawkings at us

12
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likes a bunch of fish that can't
close their eyes.

13
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- Look at that guy.
- Look at that one.

14
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Look at that douche.

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NATHAN:
Look at that douche bag.

16
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Look at that douche bag.

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SKWlSGAAR:
Looks at that douche bag.

18
00:00:38,219 --> 00:00:39,379
Looks at that douche bag.

19
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NATHAN:
Look at that douche bag.

20
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MURDERFACE:
Looks at that douche bag.

21
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Douche bag.

22
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Douche bag.

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All:
Douche bag.
Douche bag.

24
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Douche bag. Douche bag.
Douche bag. Douche bag.

25
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l'm just so irritated
by these stupid fans!

26
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Dude, what's wrong
with you?

27
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lt's that here we are, again,
stuck with each other.

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We've got no friends.

29
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l know, it's just us.

30
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We're not friends, are we?

31
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No.

32
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Oh, god, no.

33
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Friends, we can't to affords to
have friends this days.

34
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The price for fames.

35
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A bunch of caged rats.

36
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That's what we are,
a bunch of caged rats

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that are also
death-metal musicians.

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Yeah, we're the rats,

39
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and look what's on the
other side of the cage.

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Douche bags.

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Yeah, what if some of
these [bleep] starts [bleep] us?

42
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Who knows?

43
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What if we get [bleep] with?

44
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You know, l feel slightly,

45
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just slightly better knowing my
sawed-off shotgun is loaded.

46
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Oh, l got cinnamon icing all
over my hand!

47
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What happened back there, huh?
What was that?

48
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We don't know.

49
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We no means it.
lt was accidents.

50
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We're not at fault.

51
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Blood bath doesn't
read well in print, all right?

52
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You know what l'm saying?

53
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We can't do anything right!

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Look, l've noticed you guys

55
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have been down and
pouty lately.

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And l don't want to put you in
harm's way anymore,

57
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so l've taken the liberty of
hiring doubles

58
00:02:01,435 --> 00:02:03,528
to take over for your
celebrity appearances.

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00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:06,402
Dethklok, meet Dethklok.

60
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" Do anything for Dethklok "
" Do anything for Dethklok "

61
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" Do anything for Dethklok "

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" Do anything for Dethklok "
" Do anything for Dethklok "

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" Dethklok! Dethklok!
Dethklok! Dethklok! "

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" l'm...ticking...for...the...
Dethklok! Dethklok! "

65
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" Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree "

66
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" Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee "

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" William Murderface
Murderface Murderface "

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" Pickles the drummer "

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" Doodily doo, doodily doo "

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" Nathan Explosion "

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STAMPlNGSTON:
Gentlemen, this latest Duncan Hills

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00:02:41,642 --> 00:02:44,475
coffee store
opening has ended in a massacre.

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General Crozier?

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Many innocents died.

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No report of any attempt on
Dethklok's lives whatsoever.

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00:02:50,317 --> 00:02:53,775
lt means that Dethklok has
greatly improved their security.

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Which is why they've employed
doubles who work for us.

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These are some of our finest
soldiers.

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STAMPlNGSTON:
More interesting is the union between

80
00:03:01,428 --> 00:03:03,362
Leonard Purcell and Dethklok.

81
00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:06,558
They've taken their business
relationship to the next level

82
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:10,195
and stand to monopolize all
coffee shops on the planet.

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Purcell has purchased the
island of Sumatra,

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and Dethklok
will meet him there and perform

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on top of a dormant volcano.

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CROZlER:
Our doubles will get
close to Purcell and retrieve

87
00:03:20,147 --> 00:03:21,739
his secret business contracts,

88
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which will no doubt help us to
control his growing strength.

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Be careful, General.

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We are here to observe.

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00:03:30,157 --> 00:03:31,590
Be careful.

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MURDERFACE:
Let me see if l
understand you correctly.

93
00:03:35,996 --> 00:03:38,863
You expect us to cut off our
faces and then sew them

94
00:03:38,932 --> 00:03:41,332
on these regular jack offs and
then resew them

95
00:03:41,402 --> 00:03:44,530
back on our own faces for
the tour?

96
00:03:44,605 --> 00:03:45,902
You're a sick man.

97
00:03:45,973 --> 00:03:48,134
No, no, there will
be no face cutting.

98
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:50,039
Look at them.
They already look like you.

99
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,476
NATHAN:
Oh, l thought that
was, like, a coincidence.

100
00:03:52,546 --> 00:03:53,513
That is coincidence.

101
00:03:53,580 --> 00:03:55,605
Listen, great men
throughout history

102
00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:56,513
have used doubles,

103
00:03:56,583 --> 00:03:59,416
men who needed to stay alive for
the greater good

104
00:03:59,486 --> 00:04:03,149
of the people, like yourselves,
men like Winston Churchill,

105
00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:04,281
Joseph Stalin --

106
00:04:04,358 --> 00:04:05,450
Awesome!

107
00:04:05,526 --> 00:04:06,424
l'm Stalin. l call it.

108
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l'm Nixon.

109
00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:09,055
l wants to be Bill Cosby.

110
00:04:09,129 --> 00:04:10,858
No, it doesn't work that way.

111
00:04:10,931 --> 00:04:12,523
We get doubles of you is what
l'm saying.

112
00:04:12,599 --> 00:04:13,588
Hold on.

113
00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:14,895
This guy does not look like me.

114
00:04:14,968 --> 00:04:16,697
He's hideous. He's grotesque.
Look at him.

115
00:04:16,770 --> 00:04:18,397
Actually,
Murderface, he --

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MURDERFACE:
Look at that head,
that disgusting forehead,

117
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that stupid-shaped hair, beady eyes,
like, stupid, flat nose,

118
00:04:27,014 --> 00:04:30,711
white, hammer-ass,
chicken-pluck legs idiot.

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00:04:30,784 --> 00:04:33,753
You got to get your eyes
checked, you piece of [bleep]

120
00:04:33,821 --> 00:04:35,550
the guy doesn't look like me!

121
00:04:37,191 --> 00:04:39,318
Oh, god.

122
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He looks just like me.

123
00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:53,028
[ indistinct talking ]

124
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Uh, listen,
l don't think it's a great idea

125
00:04:55,442 --> 00:04:58,605
for you guys to get too close to
your doubles.

126
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,275
Well, l guess we
are friends all of the suddens.

127
00:05:01,348 --> 00:05:03,441
Well, you just can't
have them as your friends.

128
00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:05,576
Oh, he admits it,
sees?

129
00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:06,949
He is a tyrants. He admits it.

130
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,648
Do you understand
the purpose of having a double?

131
00:05:09,723 --> 00:05:11,657
Yeah, l'll take this
one, guys.

132
00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:13,818
A double is like having
the best friend

133
00:05:13,894 --> 00:05:16,226
you've ever had in your
whole life.

134
00:05:16,296 --> 00:05:20,096
A double listens to you when no
one in this crazy world will.

135
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:23,364
A double is like having a child
and watching him grow up

136
00:05:23,437 --> 00:05:25,337
and feeling that feeling of
pride

137
00:05:25,406 --> 00:05:28,034
and unyielding trust that no one
else can --

138
00:05:28,108 --> 00:05:31,544
They exist so that
if someone tries to kill you,

139
00:05:31,612 --> 00:05:33,239
they will be killed instead.

140
00:05:33,313 --> 00:05:34,610
Whoa, what?

141
00:05:34,681 --> 00:05:37,514
l mean, just thinking of those
us as dead, l mean,

142
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l'm gonna cry.
l might seriously cry about that.

143
00:05:39,987 --> 00:05:43,423
That's why you don't get
emotionally attached, Nathan.

144
00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:45,583
NATHAN:
Hey, where'd my me go?

145
00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:48,489
CROZlER:
What do you have so far?

146
00:05:48,562 --> 00:05:52,430
Sir, the band Dethklok will not
give us a moment to ourselves.

147
00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:54,330
All they want to do is pal around.

148
00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:56,164
[ bang ]
Wait, l've been spotted.

149
00:05:56,236 --> 00:05:58,727
NATHAN:
Hey, me, we don't got a lot of time

150
00:05:58,806 --> 00:05:59,636
before you got to go!

151
00:05:59,706 --> 00:06:01,799
We've got to go pal around!

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00:06:11,752 --> 00:06:14,846
ANNOUNCER:
Well, it's a great
Duncan Hills Metal Day parade

153
00:06:14,922 --> 00:06:17,186
here today
in Pasadena, California.

154
00:06:17,257 --> 00:06:18,884
Dethklok looks great.

155
00:06:18,959 --> 00:06:20,221
They're looking healthy.

156
00:06:20,294 --> 00:06:21,522
They're feeling good.

157
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lt's a great day.

158
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:24,797
Back to you.

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00:06:24,865 --> 00:06:26,332
[ dialing ]

160
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,766
Hey, we just saw
you on TV at the parade!

161
00:06:28,836 --> 00:06:29,860
Hey, when you get back,

162
00:06:29,937 --> 00:06:32,462
we're gonna have a surprise
party for you.

163
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Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.

164
00:06:33,874 --> 00:06:34,704
Give me the phone.

165
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Give me the phone.
Give me the phone!

166
00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:38,443
Hold on!
Here's Nathan.

167
00:06:38,512 --> 00:06:41,208
Hi.
We just saw you the parade!

168
00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:42,111
lt was great!

169
00:06:42,182 --> 00:06:43,706
l said that already!

170
00:06:43,784 --> 00:06:44,614
Oh, yeah,

171
00:06:44,685 --> 00:06:46,710
we're having a party for you
when you come back.

172
00:06:46,787 --> 00:06:47,776
lt's be gonna be awesome!

173
00:06:47,855 --> 00:06:49,755
Ask them if they
want chocolate cake.

174
00:06:49,823 --> 00:06:50,755
l will.
Hold on. Hold on.

175
00:06:50,824 --> 00:06:52,689
Oh, we'll gets
the bounce house.

176
00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:54,750
Tell them about the balloons!

177
00:06:54,828 --> 00:06:57,456
We're gonna have
balloons!

178
00:06:57,531 --> 00:06:58,463
We got to go.
Goodbye.

179
00:06:58,532 --> 00:07:00,500
What are you, uh, doing,
on the phone?

180
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:01,591
You're supposed to be doing
your jobs.

181
00:07:01,668 --> 00:07:04,603
Jobs?
l play bass not to have a job.

182
00:07:04,671 --> 00:07:06,571
You're supposed to
be preparing for the concert.

183
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,699
Nathan...
you're in charge here.

184
00:07:08,775 --> 00:07:10,834
How's rehearsal coming?

185
00:07:11,778 --> 00:07:13,268
Oh, it's, um...

186
00:07:13,347 --> 00:07:15,508
uh...uh...

187
00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:26,481
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

188
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:27,390
Good.

189
00:07:27,461 --> 00:07:28,428
[ bird chirping ]

190
00:07:28,495 --> 00:07:31,623
NATHAN:
You ever think of just,
you know, giving it all up?

191
00:07:31,698 --> 00:07:32,528
You know?

192
00:07:32,599 --> 00:07:34,794
You mean, like,
killings yourself.

193
00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:36,165
No. What?

194
00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:38,329
No, l mean, like,
stopping being big, famous,

195
00:07:38,405 --> 00:07:41,636
becoming a regular
old jack off.

196
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,403
And then kill yourself?

197
00:07:43,477 --> 00:07:45,570
No, no,
it's stopping being famous -- yeah,

198
00:07:45,646 --> 00:07:46,772
l don't know,
you can kill yourself if you want to.

199
00:07:46,847 --> 00:07:48,838
You know, it would be great,
you know,

200
00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:51,817
to walk down the street,
not be bothered for once.

201
00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:53,682
Walks where?

202
00:07:53,754 --> 00:07:54,778
l don't know.

203
00:07:54,855 --> 00:07:55,685
Walk down the street.

204
00:07:55,756 --> 00:07:56,586
To where?

205
00:07:56,657 --> 00:07:58,682
To where--
l don't know, walk to the store.

206
00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:00,784
Just buys it on the internet.
Haves it delivered.

207
00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,522
l know l can buy it on the
internet,

208
00:08:02,663 --> 00:08:04,130
but what if l want
to walk to the park

209
00:08:04,197 --> 00:08:05,994
and look at some swans, you know?

210
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:07,995
Well, maybe you should have
thought of that

211
00:08:08,068 --> 00:08:08,966
before you
got famous.

212
00:08:09,036 --> 00:08:10,697
NATHAN:
Toki's right.

213
00:08:10,771 --> 00:08:13,331
We're here in Sumatra,
a nation built on coffee.

214
00:08:13,407 --> 00:08:15,102
The Sumatrans, known as a
nervous, edgy,

215
00:08:15,175 --> 00:08:16,369
and dehydrated people,

216
00:08:16,443 --> 00:08:18,911
seem to have a calm excitement
tonight as they

217
00:08:18,979 --> 00:08:20,640
anticipate Dethklok's
performance on Condor Mountain,

218
00:08:20,714 --> 00:08:23,182
the world-famous dormant
volcano,

219
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,683
where 10,000 baristas
will be brewing

220
00:08:24,751 --> 00:08:26,981
the largest cup of coffee.

221
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:38,056
NATHAN:
[ singing indistinctly ]

222
00:08:46,306 --> 00:08:47,603
Ugh!
Ow. Oh.

223
00:08:47,674 --> 00:08:49,437
Get it open and hack
the briefcase.

224
00:08:49,509 --> 00:08:50,703
We need those contracts.

225
00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:58,943
" We fear no death "

226
00:09:00,921 --> 00:09:03,981
" We fear no death "

227
00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:08,655
" We fear no death "

228
00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:10,294
Hey, awesome! Dethklok!

229
00:09:10,364 --> 00:09:11,956
Can l have your autograph?

230
00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:14,791
Aaaaah!

231
00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:39,190
[ screaming ]

232
00:09:39,259 --> 00:09:41,159
l got it!

233
00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:43,219
[ screams ]

234
00:09:50,037 --> 00:09:52,870
What was thought to be a
dormant volcano erupted

235
00:09:52,939 --> 00:09:54,907
after 50,000 gallons of
Duncan Hills coffee

236
00:09:54,975 --> 00:09:55,839
was brewed inside of it.

237
00:09:55,909 --> 00:09:57,809
Thousands of fans were
incinerated.

238
00:09:57,878 --> 00:10:01,006
Rumors of Dethklok being burned
alive were greatly exaggerated,

239
00:10:01,081 --> 00:10:03,811
as the band escaped unharmed.

240
00:10:03,884 --> 00:10:06,375
Well, l'm afraid it's time
to say goodbye to your doubles.

241
00:10:06,453 --> 00:10:07,681
Toki:
Why? They still alive.

242
00:10:07,754 --> 00:10:08,846
l know they are.

243
00:10:08,922 --> 00:10:10,981
Then why do we got
to say goodbye to them?

244
00:10:11,058 --> 00:10:13,492
Because, Pickles,
they no longer look like you.

245
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:14,390
That was the point.

246
00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:15,860
Their skin is burned,
they don't even have features.

247
00:10:15,929 --> 00:10:18,397
SKWlSGAAR:
What if we burned
ourselves to looks like thems?

248
00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:20,990
Then maybes we coulds keep them.

249
00:10:21,068 --> 00:10:22,831
That would work!
You know it would!

250
00:10:22,903 --> 00:10:24,097
Come on, let's burn ourselves!

251
00:10:24,171 --> 00:10:26,264
That is out of the question,
Murderface.

252
00:10:26,339 --> 00:10:28,136
You're out of the question.

253
00:10:28,842 --> 00:10:30,639
l'm afraid it's time for you

254
00:10:30,711 --> 00:10:31,837
to say goodbye to your
doubles now.

255
00:10:31,912 --> 00:10:32,844
Let us do it.

256
00:10:32,913 --> 00:10:35,313
lt's better if they hear
it from us,

257
00:10:35,382 --> 00:10:37,873
because we're them,
after all.

258
00:10:40,187 --> 00:10:41,484
Thanks for coming, us.

259
00:10:41,555 --> 00:10:42,749
You know, there's --

260
00:10:42,823 --> 00:10:45,121
there's never an easy ways
to do this.

261
00:10:45,192 --> 00:10:47,319
But, you know, sometimes you --

262
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:49,658
we're out of
options sometimes.

263
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,028
You know business is not
personal,

264
00:10:52,099 --> 00:10:55,694
and in this case,
it is, because it's us.

265
00:10:55,769 --> 00:10:56,793
You're us, and --

266
00:10:56,870 --> 00:10:57,859
[ sighs ]

267
00:10:57,938 --> 00:10:59,200
l hate having to say this, but--

268
00:10:59,272 --> 00:11:00,671
Oh--
Let me explain.

269
00:11:00,741 --> 00:11:03,232
l got a little smoother way of
explaining it, here.

270
00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:06,006
Guys...

271
00:11:06,079 --> 00:11:07,944
it's --

272
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:09,311
You see, the thing is that --

273
00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:10,314
[ gunshot ]

274
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:11,213
[ thumps ]