1 00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:03,766 NARRATOR: Legendary Dethklok guitarist Skwisgaar Skwigelf 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,271 has proven to be quite the ladies ' man over the years. 3 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,432 But has that come back to haunt him? 4 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,101 Recent law suits claim that he has fathered 5 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,805 Iiterally thousands of illegitimate children. 6 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,711 Of course that entire case wasthrown out 7 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,646 after the following was submitted. 8 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:17,979 Skwisgaar is in no way the legal father, 9 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,450 guardian, etc of these children. 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,612 You see, in order to get backstage 11 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,245 or have any kind of audience with Skwigelf, 12 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:24,654 every man woman and child must sign a "paternity waiver" 13 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,283 that legally disallows even the notion 14 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,419 that Skwisgaar could be the father of their children 15 00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,157 regardless of a potential positive DNA test. 16 00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,256 Is there a bigger connection here? 17 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,131 Skwisgaar Skwigelf never actually met his father. 18 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,670 Is that why he feels the need to father 19 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,865 so many illegitimate children? 20 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,737 Is the lack of a father in Skwigelf's life 21 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:44,038 the reason he became a guitar god? 22 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:46,579 And can he stay a guitar god? 23 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,547 Is the pressure of being a deadbeat father 24 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,775 getting to him? 25 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,149 ? ? 26 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,183 He even cancelled several Dethklok dates 27 00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:58,884 citing guitar exhaustion. 28 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:02,292 How can a man continue this kind of sexual promiscuity 29 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,660 and still lead a normal life? 30 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:08,667 Is Skwigelf on the verge of a nervous guitar breakdown? 31 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,260 Here you are, ma'am. 32 00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,498 Sorry about the loss in the law suit. 33 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,905 However, we'd like to donate a standard issue parting package 34 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,739 including enough money for college tuition, food stamps, 35 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,711 the entire Dethklok CD catalogue, 36 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,112 and of course $5 off at Hot Topic. 37 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:23,479 There you go. 38 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:24,744 Mr. Skwigelf! 39 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,649 How do you feel about all the fatherless children 40 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,051 and abandoned mothers out there? 41 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:30,419 Please stand away or you'll be tasered. 42 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,390 (taser buzzes, man screams) 43 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,586 How you doing over there? You okay? 44 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,526 Yeah, uh. 45 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,827 What are you, uh, thinking about your dad? 46 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,366 Yeah. 47 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,459 I mean he could have left, uh, 48 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,595 right after the deed was done and, uh, 49 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,196 never even held you 50 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,209 in his arms. 51 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:54,145 The mighty strength of a father's touch 52 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,273 Iost forever. 53 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,181 Gone. 54 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,214 My father had strong hands. 55 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,883 I think it's time I found my father. 56 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,117 ? Doodily ding dong tick-tock ? 57 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:07,455 ? Doodily ding dong tick-tock ? 58 00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:08,551 ? Doodily ding dong tick-tock ? 59 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:12,121 ? Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! ? 60 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,092 So, uh, I think we should be 61 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,863 a little sensitive toward Skwisgaar, 62 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,700 he's going through a lot. 63 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:21,172 He started searching for his biological father. 64 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,108 So maybe we can just show a little affection towards him. 65 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,940 Ha ha!! Dats gays! 66 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,878 C'mon man, don't say, "showing affection" 67 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,609 and expect us to fuckin' react. 68 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,741 Okay, well guys listen. 69 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,045 I mean think about it. 70 00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,246 Skwisgaar never had a father, alright? 71 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,846 So? My dad's just died. 72 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,756 And I'm totally cools with it. 73 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,819 Guys, I'm saying he never even had a -- 74 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:48,391 My father's dead and I'm totally fine. 75 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,936 I love that my dad's dead. 76 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,801 I got no relationship with my dad. 77 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,239 Other than I hate him, you know? 78 00:02:55,308 --> 00:03:00,143 Get out of here. You belong in a garbage can. 79 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,873 You know, I realized the other day 80 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:05,679 that I don't even know his first name. 81 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,276 And I'm proud. 82 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,821 I'm proud to know that I don't know that. 83 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:09,981 Alright, I get it. Fine. 84 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,581 You are all without fathers, alright. 85 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:14,183 I'm not. 'Fucking love my dad. 86 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,222 My dad's fucking awesome. 87 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:23,394 Just be nice to Skwisgaar alright everybody, okay? 88 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,732 See what we can do to make his life 89 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:25,999 a little bit easier alright? 90 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:29,133 Eh, make his life easier huh? 91 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,109 I don't wants to sounds insensitives 92 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:32,805 buts I means uhhh, if Skwisgaars doesn't 93 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,141 gets his craps togethers 94 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,341 I may really has a shots at beings leads guitarist! 95 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,713 Me Toki! 96 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,445 Finallys ams no mores in de shadows. 97 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,747 Whats do you thinks about dat, Pickle? 98 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,516 Toki, don't you think it's a little early 99 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:45,251 to start jumping to conclusions? 100 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,587 Jumps to conclusions? 101 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,651 Whats de fucks am dats supposed to means, huh? 102 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,924 Nothing. Nothing! 103 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:52,055 You listens to me. 104 00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,190 Whens I becomes leads guitarist 105 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,200 things am gonna change around here!! 106 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,259 Fine fine, just let go of me! 107 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,032 You're squeezing my nipples off! 108 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,198 I'm sorry! 109 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,831 Don't get physical with people! 110 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,671 One minute, 45 seconds... 111 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,542 Hey Nate look, look. I got to talk to you. 112 00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,513 You know how my role in this band has always been 113 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,415 that of like a band father. 114 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,510 I'm sure you'll agree. You know? 115 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,885 I'm kind of like the father, the seeds of the band. 116 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,015 You know what I'm saying. - Ugh. 117 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,821 Well, you know Skwisgaar, he doesn't have a father. 118 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,521 So you get where I'm going with this? 119 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,426 - Uhh... 120 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,964 I'm the band father. He's fatherless. 121 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,498 Would you move a little bit please? 122 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:27,658 Oh sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 123 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,463 See I'm going to help Skwisgaar to experience 124 00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,197 what it's like to have a father. 125 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,398 See this is what I do best! I do it anyway. 126 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,236 Can you move a little bit further? 127 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,037 I just wanna -- you're in front of the microwave. 128 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,634 Oh sorry right. 129 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,077 Can I say one other thing? 130 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:41,478 I think it's a really bad idea. 131 00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,412 What? 132 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,677 To fuck around with Skwisgaar's whole father issue. 133 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,309 Skwisgaar doesn't have a father. 134 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,581 I'll be his father. 135 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:51,089 What are you dildos looking at? 136 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,023 You know Skwisgaar is not the only one 137 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,924 without a father around here. 138 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,826 You know? 139 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,399 Rumors have circulated causing a frenzied panic 140 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,435 that Skwisgaar Skwigelf has started 141 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:06,063 a worldwide search for his biological father. 142 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,111 Anythings yet? 143 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,670 Not yet, sire. 144 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,648 Several thousand gentlemen have come forward 145 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,081 claiming to be your father. 146 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,051 Several thousgand? 147 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,111 They all claim to have had sex with your mother, 148 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,316 Surfetta, in a period of a month. 149 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,154 This seems impossible, sire. 150 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,922 Ugh, you don't know my moms. Ugh. 151 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,792 Perhaps she would be of aide in this search. 152 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:31,922 Shall I contact her? 153 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,590 No! Don't contact her. 154 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,135 You liable winds up being a candidate for my dads too. 155 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,329 Alright you know? 156 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:40,703 Anyways, I think she's part of the problem. 157 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:49,282 Moms, I'm homes. 158 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:58,055 (grunting) 159 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:13,328 ? ? 160 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:29,988 (growling) 161 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:39,663 ? ? 162 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:54,072 ? ? 163 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,809 Knock knock! 164 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,544 Can I come in? 165 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,578 Skwisgaar, I want to offer you something 166 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:05,318 absolutely spectacular. 167 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,190 I'm offering to be your father, 168 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,592 uh, a father. 169 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,528 A father figure for you. 170 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,362 I wanna be your father, figure. 171 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,767 Skwisgaar just treat me like the dad you never had. 172 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,738 Call me Dad. Go on, give it a shot. 173 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,672 Just call me Dad. Go on. 174 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,266 (door opens) 175 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:28,144 Hey, uh I'm just seeing what you guys are doing, you know? 176 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:29,806 See if anybody, you know, 177 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,783 maybe wanted to take me to the park or something. 178 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,284 Pickles! Fuck off! 179 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,583 I'm having a man to man talk with my... 180 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,885 strong and brave little solider here. 181 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,516 I'm very brave. 182 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,389 And very strong too, I mean. 183 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,190 Pickles damn it. I'm going to count to three. 184 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,093 I don't understand why you don't-- 185 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,632 Shut your mouth and listen! 186 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,032 I'm going to count to three and you better beat it 187 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,935 or I will seriously spank your ass red. 188 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,768 But I wanna hang out too! 189 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,467 - One! - Why can't I go?! 190 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,442 - Two!! - Why can't I hang out!! 191 00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,738 - Three!! - Whoaaaa! 192 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,143 Anyway, what were we talking about? 193 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,773 Oh! I've got a lot of fun planned for us, junior! 194 00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,409 Let's get those boots on! Come on! 195 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:11,481 ? ? 196 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,003 Whoa, whoa. 197 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,665 Pickle! What's wong with you? 198 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,936 What's going on? 199 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,341 Nothing. 200 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:34,209 Just -- why does Murderface favor Skwisgaar over me? 201 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,077 What's wrong with me? 202 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,208 Wait, so what Murderface is really acting 203 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,343 Iike a father to Skwisgaar? 204 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,081 I mean. How's that going? 205 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,383 It's goings great! 206 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,651 I mean, you should see them together!! 207 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,922 They get along like real father and son. 208 00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:50,257 I mean, what about us? 209 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,491 And here we sit like a couple of homos. 210 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:53,793 Totally excluded. 211 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,801 Just like my old man did to me! 212 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,961 Yeah! Me, too! 213 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,665 This is gonna screw me up so much! 214 00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:01,570 I know it is. - Murderface! 215 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:04,405 I know it is! 216 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:06,775 Any news on my fathers? 217 00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,279 I am sorry, my lord, 218 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,872 but none of the DNA tests match. 219 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:10,973 (big sigh) 220 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,075 All those thousands of men 221 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,710 managed to ejaculate into your mother 222 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,379 without being your father. 223 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,047 He must still be out there. 224 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,421 But he hasn't come forward. 225 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,655 All those men. 226 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,959 All that ejaculate. 227 00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,658 Yes, thank you. I understands. 228 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,530 Just... 229 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,034 Please leaves me be. 230 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,798 Hey, what about us? 231 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,101 When will we be satisfied? 232 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,735 I never thoughts I would say dis but... 233 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,871 I'm nots in de mood. 234 00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:46,943 ? ? 235 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,675 Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! 236 00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:19,010 Noooooo!!!!! 237 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:21,713 (falcon cries) 238 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,882 And he threw his guitar into the snow. 239 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,255 - He did? - Yes! 240 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,987 But dude, that's his guitar!! 241 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,460 He's never done anything like that before. 242 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,087 Oh whats, thats horribles for hims. 243 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,495 Poor guy. 244 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,796 So whats does this means for the bands, the future, mes? 245 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:41,637 ? ? 246 00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,141 Skwisgaar's coming down now. 247 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,403 Perhaps he'll have some good news 248 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,876 that'll get him back on track. 249 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:49,039 Ah, here he is, here he is. 250 00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:51,242 I'm going to play you a message 251 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,285 my moms just left me. 252 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:56,049 Skwisgaar. Come home to Sweden. 253 00:10:56,122 --> 00:11:00,252 I found him. I found your father. 254 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,816 She founds my fathers. 255 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,022 - That's great! - What? Father? 256 00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:06,965 And I'm moving back to Sweden. 257 00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:07,965 Wait, what? 258 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,594 And I'm quitting de band. Goodbye. 259 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:17,573 Skwisgaar Skwigelf has left Dethklok to find his father. 260 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,043 General Crozier. 261 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,774 Skwigelf has inherited an unyielding promiscuity 262 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,079 from his mother, Surfetta Skwigelf. 263 00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:28,584 This has made determining the father quite difficult. 264 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,714 But even more dangerous, 265 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,724 the band appears to be suffering 266 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,590 from father abandonment issues. 267 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,994 Here to tell us more is our fatherhood expert 268 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,089 Dr. Imptnin Pmiltson. 269 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,133 Dr. Pmiltson? 270 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,396 Skwisgaar Skwigelf has excelled 271 00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:44,731 beyond that of a mortal. 272 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,601 Is he a god? 273 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:49,039 His parents suggest he is no mere mortal. 274 00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,406 Like Zeus, he would descend from Olympus 275 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,637 to impregnate mortal women, 276 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,942 thus creating a world of demi-gods 277 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,983 much like Skwigelf and these recent paternity suits. 278 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,487 And now he threatens to move back to his homeland, Sweden? 279 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,543 Why? 280 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:05,489 He wishes to resume his life as a mortal. 281 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:09,460 A god must give up all the power that gave him life. 282 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:13,260 And once the commoners realize they have lost their god, 283 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,097 they will turn. 284 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,562 Dis ams your dads. 285 00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,905 - You ams my fathers? - Whats? No. 286 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:31,109 He ams your news dads. Your stepfathers. 287 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,152 We ams got married! 288 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,346 I ams Tyr. Goods to meet you! 289 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,912 But you saids you found my fathers. 290 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,016 Yeah! It ams hims! 291 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,082 Wait. 292 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,594 Now you says that he ams my steps fathers. 293 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,290 Yeah well dats whats I meant. 294 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:48,198 Whatevers! He ams nows yours family. 295 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,462 Steps father. 296 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:52,766 Do you thinks you could have been clearer on de phones? 297 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,773 He ams now's your dads. 298 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,968 I want you twos to gets alongs. 299 00:12:57,043 --> 00:13:00,843 He ams a woodworkers and you guys get alongs 300 00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:03,177 as Tyr does dabbles in Prague musics. 301 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:04,216 (sighs) 302 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:10,280 ? ? 303 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,718 Whats happens in here? 304 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,457 Did somebodys throw a party? 305 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,192 Yeah it sure looks likes a mess. 306 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,597 Who did it? 307 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,829 Probably your sons dids thats parts. 308 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,564 Thats was probably yous sons that did. 309 00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,572 My sons the ones that goes 310 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,736 and whats gets good grades at school. 311 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,679 Well somebodys going to have to be punished. 312 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,340 Dats your parts too. 313 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,885 I dos the nice part. Yous do the punish. 314 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,921 Guu. You good cops bad cops. 315 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,583 Ehhhh? 316 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,525 Oh yeah! Dats what's I told ya. 317 00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,619 Ehhuhh. But that's what I told ya. 318 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,187 Oh yeah! But that's what I told you! 319 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,095 (both giggle) 320 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,403 This ams the best episodes of 321 00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,938 Two Swedish Dads Whats Are Yous. 322 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,098 (giggles) 323 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,004 (moans) 324 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,667 Okay. 325 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,610 Dats all I can takes of dis. Goodnights. 326 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,238 Dats all you can takes of whats? 327 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,475 Of you! 328 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,177 The twos of yous gropins each other. 329 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,014 I can hear your saliva. 330 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,520 It ams fucking disgustings!! 331 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,714 Skwisgaar! 332 00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:20,122 Don't talks to your mothers dats way!! 333 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,793 Fuck you! Alrights! 334 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,354 You amments my fucking dad! 335 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,456 Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! 336 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:32,368 (screaming) 337 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,932 (screaming in agony) 338 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,279 What have I done? 339 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,851 Wait stop! 340 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,353 Stop! Stop! Stop! Toki!!! 341 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,446 Whats? 342 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,218 You've got to turn it down! Alright? 343 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:53,883 Whats am your problems! 344 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,655 Do you think you may be overdoing it a little 345 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,389 on volume and playing just a touch? 346 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,522 No! I don't happens to thinks I'm overdoings it. 347 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,794 Looks, all you I ams leads guitarist now 348 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,336 and we does it my way or de highway!!! 349 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,167 Hey. Murderface! Are you even here? 350 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,137 What are you doing? 351 00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,571 I mean you wanna weigh in on this? 352 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,472 Hold on!! Hold on, geez! 353 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,874 Hey son. 354 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:14,071 It's... it's Dad-er-face... 355 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,775 I mean, is your phone off? 356 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:21,013 You just left and as your fa-- friend... 357 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,180 I'm just... 358 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,780 Great. You owe me one Dethphone. 359 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,051 Fuck you! 360 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,820 Why is it always about Skwisgaar! 361 00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,691 He's not here and it's still about him! 362 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,525 Okay. Okay. 363 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,394 Come back here and argue with me! 364 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,093 Come back I was bad! 365 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,329 I broke your phone. Punish me! 366 00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:38,995 Why are you ignoring me! 367 00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,800 Okay guys! 368 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,101 Fuckin' wake up! 369 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,803 Murderface, get the fuck back in here. 370 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,310 Get. Back. In. Here. 371 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:47,437 Gaw. 372 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,481 I'm not going to take this lying down alright? 373 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,517 This is my band. 374 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,075 You're my stupid, dumb, fucked-up, 375 00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:55,984 dysfunctional family alright? 376 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,682 We're gonna go to Sweden, 377 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,021 and we're gonna get Skwisgaar back alright? 378 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:03,357 Because this is not fuckin' working. 379 00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:05,454 I wanteds to apologizek you. 380 00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:08,125 I am sorry. 381 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,567 I wanted to apologizeks to you too. 382 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,536 I shouldn't have yelled at you. 383 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:17,542 I now sees that you actually cares about my mothers. 384 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:21,068 Yuh and she cares about you too Skwisgaar. 385 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,614 Huh. 386 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,377 Yeah she does. 387 00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:27,078 You ams a good man. 388 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:27,983 Thanks you. 389 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:35,423 ? ? 390 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,358 Oh, man, this is my chance 391 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,360 to really get in good with Surfetta 392 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,658 and uh, and really get close to the family 393 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:14,097 and then I'll really be a Skwigelf you know... 394 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,531 making love to Surfetta. 395 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:16,431 - What? - What? 396 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:17,366 - What? - What? 397 00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:18,494 - What? - What are you talking about? 398 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:19,401 - What? - What? 399 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,598 You know Toki, 400 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,368 right before I left home when I was a teenager, 401 00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,705 my dad turned to me and he said, 402 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,871 "Get out. You belong in a garbage can." 403 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,040 And I left. 404 00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,846 And I always regretted not staying there 405 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:35,114 and beating the living shit out of my father. 406 00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:37,747 You know? I never did. 407 00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,814 And, and now I hang out with Murderface 408 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:43,089 and I feel like that opportunity is back. 409 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,062 Dude, he is triggering something in me 410 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,860 that's just incredibly violent and ugly. 411 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,127 It's just.. 412 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,168 I'll just make a point to keep it in check. 413 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:55,230 There. No problem. 414 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,674 Alright guys, time to get serious. 415 00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,608 I think this is where he is. 416 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,307 Just follow my lead. 417 00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:08,377 ? ? 418 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:15,694 There he is. Right there! 419 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,195 - Skwisgaar!! - Oh, there you are!! 420 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,129 Look how big you've gotten. 421 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,757 Oh, come here. 422 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:22,960 Now listen. 423 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,798 I know you needed some time to reconnect with your family 424 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,531 and I know that's important but I just want to-- 425 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,336 I'm not coming back with you. 426 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:30,898 The band is dead. 427 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,207 I'm not the person I used to be. 428 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,770 I'm now one of these people here, 429 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,941 a human, a regular jackoffs. 430 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:38,949 What? 431 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:42,476 I'm part of a real family with a mother and a father. 432 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,580 And I'm living here in the real world. 433 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,181 And I'm finallys happy. 434 00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:47,247 What are you talking about? 435 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,156 Are you crazy? 436 00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,592 I has mades my decision. 437 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:53,928 Please leaves me. 438 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,626 By the way you're not a fucking regular person, all right? 439 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:01,571 You're not one of these stupid, sad humps. 440 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,700 Stop trying to fool yourself, okay? 441 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:07,803 You're better than these fucking dumb-shits. 442 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,905 Found another father huh? 443 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,279 Well I'm going to follow you home 444 00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:14,080 and make sure your mother falls in love with me. 445 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,916 Sweet, dear Surfetta. 446 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,546 I'm coming! 447 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:19,750 Well, you made your decisions. 448 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,725 You've stands by whats yous believes in 449 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:22,726 and thats that. 450 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:25,764 Hey, I just wanteds to says to you 451 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,096 dat evens though you amments my reals dads, 452 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,865 I considers you more of a father than anyone could be. 453 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:34,565 Thanks you. 454 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,369 You good kids Skwisgaar. 455 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:37,932 You goods kids. 456 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,080 Oh nooooooo! 457 00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,673 Ahhhhhhh!!!!! 458 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,275 SURFETTA: Faster. Harder. More. That's it. 459 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:51,050 Noooooooooooooooo! 460 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,251 I can't do this. I'm leaving. 461 00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:56,590 (men grunting) 462 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:06,297 ? ? 463 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,306 ? I don't know who I am ? 464 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,372 ? Am I a god or a man ? 465 00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:20,076 ? I was birthed from a spectre 466 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:23,451 a ghost in the light ? 467 00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:26,355 ? Could it be that the gods 468 00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:29,417 gave me my life ? 469 00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,292 ? If it's true 470 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:32,557 then I'm no man ? 471 00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:36,825 ? I'm a god 472 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,096 that's what I am ? 473 00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:44,003 ? I was built to spread my loins 474 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:47,011 into the wombs of this world ? 475 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,639 ? and I'll spray my holiness 476 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:53,151 onto the breasts of all these girls ? 477 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,413 ? I'm no man ? 478 00:20:58,991 --> 00:20:59,821 (indistinct) 479 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:05,354 ? Godlike is what I am ? 480 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:06,625 ? I'ms a god ? 481 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,100 ? ? 482 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:19,568 Wait! Stop! 483 00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:20,771 I'm coming with. 484 00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:23,110 Skwisgaar. Are you sure? 485 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,672 Yes. 486 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,411 You were right. 487 00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:28,851 I'm not a normal humans. 488 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,513 I am a god. 489 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:32,181 (thunder crashes) 490 00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:34,988 Move over Pickles! Let Skwisgaar in! 491 00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:36,322 - I am. - No let him in first! 492 00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:39,228 - I am! - No you're not! Get out. 493 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,562 You belong in a garbage can. 494 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:42,862 Get out of here. 495 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,403 You belong in a garbage can. 496 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,063 I belong in a garbage can? 497 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,164 You belong in a garbage can! 498 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:51,607 - You belong in a garbage can! - Take that! 499 00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:52,769 You belong in a garbage can. 500 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,472 Finish hims off! 501 00:21:54,547 --> 00:22:00,713 ? ?