1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,300
Thank you, Rio de Janeiro!
2
00:00:02,265 --> 00:00:04,215
You're the best dildos
in the world!
3
00:00:04,216 --> 00:00:06,587
On the drums, is Pickles, the drummer!
4
00:00:06,588 --> 00:00:10,868
If you need to take a $#!*,
now's the time, it's a drum solo!
5
00:00:10,869 --> 00:00:12,169
#%*& you!
6
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:15,320
Your guitars solos coming up, Skwisgaar.
Can i haves it just this once?
7
00:00:15,321 --> 00:00:16,621
Huh, no?
8
00:00:16,622 --> 00:00:19,672
Please lets me do it tonight, i promised
the kitty cats at the hospitals
9
00:00:19,673 --> 00:00:21,373
that i would do the solos for'em.
10
00:00:21,374 --> 00:00:25,277
Huh, Tokis, you don'ts practice
the guitars evers.
11
00:00:25,278 --> 00:00:26,878
Please, i'm beggin's you!
12
00:00:26,879 --> 00:00:30,263
No ways, i ams the leads guitarist!
I ams does the solo!
13
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,064
What abouts if i gaves you chocolates?
14
00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:34,069
Or pizza?
15
00:00:34,070 --> 00:00:36,735
#%*& yous, no!
Get outta my ways.
16
00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:11,029
Say no to me, mother#%*&£@,
should you.
17
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,030
Marks my words, i'm gets revenge!
18
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,031
Sync: Nosferattu
twitter.com/nosferattu
19
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:19,032
Translation: Linkerman
20
00:01:22,592 --> 00:01:26,895
I'll... Teach thee...
To... Rock.
21
00:01:27,952 --> 00:01:29,252
Dethklok, Dethklok!
22
00:01:29,253 --> 00:01:31,644
Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree.
23
00:01:31,645 --> 00:01:33,145
Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee.
24
00:01:34,217 --> 00:01:35,742
William Murderface,
Murderface, Murderface.
25
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,197
Pickles the drummer, doodily doo.
Ding-dong, doodily, doodily, doo.
26
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,567
Nathan Explosion.
27
00:01:44,419 --> 00:01:45,819
Season 4, Episode 5
Bookklok
28
00:01:48,056 --> 00:01:49,606
Dethklok guitarist, Toki Wartooth,
29
00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:51,738
has released a tell-all book, called
30
00:01:51,739 --> 00:01:53,556
Skwisgaar Is Ams Dick:
31
00:01:53,557 --> 00:01:55,457
The life of Toki, an abused guitarist.
32
00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:57,858
He has appeared everywhere
plugging his book.
33
00:01:57,859 --> 00:01:59,259
I have been livings in the shadow of a
34
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:02,098
overbearing tyrants for ways too long!
35
00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:04,198
It makes me feels inadequates.
36
00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:09,652
He used to gives me compliments,
but now he calls me names like
"tone deafs" and "stupid hands".
37
00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:11,503
He used to says my hands ams skinnys,
38
00:02:11,504 --> 00:02:13,604
but now he says they ams
putting on wheights.
39
00:02:13,605 --> 00:02:16,405
...And i'm nots takin' it anymore,
i'm standin' ups for
40
00:02:16,406 --> 00:02:18,206
all the abused guitarists in the world!
41
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:22,032
Toki Wartooth is climbing out from
behind the shadow of abuse,
42
00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:25,033
to be the highest selling rock'n'roll
author of all time.
43
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:27,334
You go, Toki!
And that's the Dethklok Minute.
44
00:02:29,547 --> 00:02:31,547
Alright guys. We got a lot of work today,
45
00:02:31,548 --> 00:02:32,948
a lot of stuff to cover...
46
00:02:32,949 --> 00:02:35,456
Skwisgaar... Sorry, Charles.
47
00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:38,280
Skwisgaar, sorry about that book.
48
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,181
Boy, but look at what i got today, guys.
49
00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:45,066
It's my defibrilator.
I bought it off SkyMall.
50
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:46,367
Why do you need that?
51
00:02:46,368 --> 00:02:48,468
It's, huh, you know, to shock people,
52
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,843
if they have a thing like a heart attack
53
00:02:50,844 --> 00:02:52,144
or if they're sleeping.
54
00:02:52,145 --> 00:02:54,987
But i bought it because it's
#%*&£@§ awesome!
55
00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:56,688
Murderface, help me work this thing.
56
00:02:56,689 --> 00:02:57,989
Guys, i don't think
57
00:02:57,990 --> 00:03:00,140
you should be messing around
with a defibrilator...
58
00:03:00,141 --> 00:03:02,041
God, would you butt out, please?
59
00:03:02,042 --> 00:03:04,042
I mean, God, don't let this guy
abuse you, Nathan.
60
00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:05,643
He's trying to control you,
61
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,244
just like Skwisgaar did to Toki!
No offense, Skwisgaar.
62
00:03:08,245 --> 00:03:10,245
Now, what do you want me to do, Nathan?
63
00:03:10,246 --> 00:03:14,018
Just stand there...
Oh!, and say "clear!"
64
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,390
Oh, awesome, like the doctors do on TV!
65
00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:17,691
Guys? Come on... Let's, let's not...
66
00:03:17,692 --> 00:03:18,992
Clear!
67
00:03:22,646 --> 00:03:23,946
Dude, that's pretty awesome!
68
00:03:23,947 --> 00:03:26,333
Man... Ow, ow... That's pretty awesome!
69
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,457
Who the #%*& peed on me?
70
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,575
I think YOU'RE the culprit
71
00:03:31,576 --> 00:03:34,604
in this particular mistery...
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00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:37,155
How can i pee on myself
when i'm right here...?
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00:03:37,156 --> 00:03:39,806
Skwisgaar, you're scheduled to play
the Guitarganza,
74
00:03:39,807 --> 00:03:42,157
which kicks off the norwegian
Ice Festival in Lillehammer,
75
00:03:42,158 --> 00:03:43,858
and you're gonna need to do
76
00:03:43,859 --> 00:03:45,209
a lot of promotional interviews,
so get ready for...
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00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:47,860
Hey Skwisgaar, aren't you afraid that
the success
78
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,911
of Toki's book it's kinda going to
ruin your career?
79
00:03:50,912 --> 00:03:52,512
I don't know...
- Yeah, aren't you afraid
80
00:03:52,513 --> 00:03:54,844
that Toki's book made you really look
like an asshole?
81
00:03:54,845 --> 00:03:58,180
When you kinda turn into, like,
kinda the Ike Turner of guitar?
82
00:04:03,107 --> 00:04:05,715
Gentlemen, it appears
as if Toki Wartooth
83
00:04:05,716 --> 00:04:09,127
has written a tell-all book
about Skwisgaar Skwigelf.
84
00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:11,311
Vater Orlaag?
85
00:04:11,312 --> 00:04:16,214
A tell-all book can highlight drunken
encounters, showcase abusive behaviour,
86
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:20,173
and ultimately, prove bandmates to be
complete assholes.
87
00:04:20,174 --> 00:04:22,616
And eventually, tear the band apart.
88
00:04:22,617 --> 00:04:26,285
Gentlemen, we have another issue to
discuss: the Revengencers.
89
00:04:26,286 --> 00:04:31,327
We've received intel that they are
still active...
90
00:04:32,253 --> 00:04:35,266
This is the last place the Revengencers
were known to be.
91
00:04:35,267 --> 00:04:39,113
These brainwashed ex-Dethklok fans
92
00:04:39,114 --> 00:04:42,383
stayed hidden in the woods until they
ran out of food, and began
93
00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:44,376
devouring each other like dogs.
94
00:04:45,059 --> 00:04:47,174
Still missing is their leader.
95
00:04:47,175 --> 00:04:49,575
We believe it's a man
with a silver face,
96
00:04:49,576 --> 00:04:51,176
and several others are still alive.
97
00:04:51,177 --> 00:04:54,679
The attack will happen soon,
we'll have a secret weapon this time.
98
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,308
Someone on the inside.
99
00:04:57,309 --> 00:04:58,609
Dethklok must die.
100
00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:03,161
Man, is this the best thing
in the world or what?
101
00:05:03,162 --> 00:05:05,462
Dude, it's great but, i don't know,
i'm kinda gettin' bored using it
102
00:05:05,463 --> 00:05:07,813
on eachother, maybe we should try
something else on.
103
00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:09,764
You think it'll work on other stuff?
104
00:05:10,932 --> 00:05:12,232
Huh... Yeah!?
105
00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:28,386
Maybe they're too dead.
106
00:05:28,387 --> 00:05:31,187
Yeah, can you guys bring us stuff
that's not as dead,
107
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:32,488
you know, like, "freshly dead"?
108
00:05:33,656 --> 00:05:36,010
Skwisgaar Skwigelf falling from grace?
109
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:37,361
Apparently, his approval ratings
110
00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:39,162
have plummeted to new lows,
111
00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:40,963
while Toki Wartooth's are flying high!
112
00:05:40,964 --> 00:05:42,264
On cloud nine!
113
00:05:42,265 --> 00:05:43,565
Fans had this to say:
114
00:05:43,566 --> 00:05:46,266
We all have bullies in our lives.
My mom's boyfriend
115
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:47,867
#%*&$ my mom and eats our food.
116
00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:49,168
Are companies getting cold feet with the
117
00:05:49,169 --> 00:05:50,669
Skwigelf brand name?
118
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:51,970
Yes they are!
119
00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:53,671
Now, for the Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Endorsement Deal
120
00:05:53,672 --> 00:05:56,372
Deth Watch: Guitaraid, the energy drink
for fast guitarists...
121
00:05:56,373 --> 00:05:59,173
Dead! The Shredder, the only 6.66 blade
122
00:05:59,174 --> 00:06:03,458
disposable razor... Dead!
And Skwoactiv Skwin Care,
123
00:06:03,459 --> 00:06:05,967
The anti-acne medication... Dead.
124
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:08,618
Looks like scrambling companies
have found solace in
125
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:11,484
Toki Wartooth's rising popularity.
He has picked up endorsements
126
00:06:11,485 --> 00:06:15,071
for Guitaraid, the Shredder, and
Tokactiv Tin Tare.
127
00:06:15,072 --> 00:06:18,072
Horrible abuser Skwisgaar Skwigelf
must be thanking
128
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,023
his lucky stars he still has the
Guitarganza,
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00:06:20,024 --> 00:06:23,968
at the norwegian Ice Festival.
And that's the Dethklok Minute.
130
00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:26,219
Oh hey, Skwisgaar, what are you doing,
goofing off, palling around?
131
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:30,050
So you're getting ready for your big
Ice Festival Guitarganza thing,
132
00:06:30,051 --> 00:06:31,814
or whatever is called?
133
00:06:31,815 --> 00:06:36,241
Yeah, it's like, huh, i don't know...
It's like the only thing you got going
for you these days.
134
00:06:36,242 --> 00:06:39,547
Yeah pal, i heard they took away
all your endorsement stuff.
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00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:41,148
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, it's gotta be rough.
136
00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:44,508
This is like, the only thing
you have left.
137
00:06:44,509 --> 00:06:46,569
- Yeah.
- Ah, so sad.
138
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:48,820
Yeah, it's so sad it's the only thing
you got goin' on for you.
139
00:06:48,821 --> 00:06:50,771
At least you got that, though, right?
140
00:06:50,772 --> 00:06:53,772
Huh, Skwisgaar, i have some bad news.
You're out of the Ice Festival.
141
00:06:53,773 --> 00:06:55,673
Huh, they want Toki.
Sorry, buddy.
142
00:06:59,744 --> 00:07:02,618
Hey, Skwisgaar.
Skwisgaar, did you hear that Toki's
143
00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:04,519
playing the Ice Festival instead of you?
144
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:06,950
Clear!
145
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:14,350
Skwisgaar, it appears as if someone
has peed your pants.
146
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:18,110
Moves my ten o'clocks to 10 30s.
Moves my 10 30s to elevens, and
147
00:07:18,111 --> 00:07:21,011
moves my elevens to noons,
and my noons to next weeks,
148
00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:22,812
that will gives me 10 minutes for lunch,
149
00:07:22,813 --> 00:07:24,663
so you better not #%*& this up!
150
00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:25,964
Yes, sir.
151
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,323
Tokis, i...
Really needs to talks to yous.
152
00:07:32,324 --> 00:07:34,724
Oh, look who ams waltzings back
into my life.
153
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:36,718
What, so's you can abuse me more?
154
00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:39,959
Pencils him in for next weeks
or some $#!* like that.
155
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,810
- Yes, sir.
- I need to talk to you now, Toki.
156
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:45,449
I... Needs to gets my solos back
at the Ice Festivals.
157
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:48,826
Wells, wells, wells, isn't this
a funny turns of events?
158
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,227
I remembers askings yous
159
00:07:50,228 --> 00:07:51,878
for the same things, and you know
what you did?
160
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:54,180
You laugheds at me!
- I don't laughs.
161
00:07:54,181 --> 00:07:57,778
You may not likes this, but i'ms
becomings empowereds!
162
00:07:57,779 --> 00:08:00,092
And the answers for you
in regards to your
163
00:08:00,093 --> 00:08:02,579
Ice Festival solo... Oooooh...
164
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:03,880
It's no!
165
00:08:03,881 --> 00:08:05,181
#%*&$ no!
166
00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:07,932
It's really gots to rips
your guts out to see
167
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,852
how successful and on tops i am.
Get used to it!
168
00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:14,304
Be carefuls what you wish fors!
169
00:08:14,305 --> 00:08:17,810
The audience ams
a fickles mistress, Toki.
170
00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:22,214
The audience ams a fickles mistress!
171
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,422
Lillehammer, Norway
172
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,478
And now, on lead guitar...
173
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,347
Is amazing,
174
00:08:32,348 --> 00:08:35,135
abused guitarist,
175
00:08:35,136 --> 00:08:36,436
Toki Wartooth!
176
00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:55,108
What the #%*&!
- Booooo!
177
00:08:56,805 --> 00:08:58,152
Can't get it...
178
00:08:58,153 --> 00:09:00,457
Plug your guitar, you j@*&ass!
179
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,758
I can'ts a gets it... I c'...
180
00:09:03,747 --> 00:09:05,260
You're blowing it!
181
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,550
They're turning on me.
182
00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:11,783
The audience ams
a fickles mistress, Toki.
183
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:15,568
The audience ams a fickles mistress!
184
00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:17,269
He's rights. The fickle mistress!
185
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:18,570
You loser!
186
00:09:20,256 --> 00:09:22,992
Oh, my lefts arm...
My lefts arms don't wo...
187
00:09:22,993 --> 00:09:24,771
Oh, my chest, it's tight.
188
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:28,203
I thinks i'm havin' a panics attack!
189
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:30,849
I'm not a doctor, but i think
he's havin' a heart attack.
190
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:33,700
There's gotta be some way to help him.
191
00:09:33,701 --> 00:09:36,551
- Yeah, there's gotta be a medic here to...
- I mean, that's what i'm sayin', yeah.
192
00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,152
It's a panics attack,
that's what it is!
193
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:42,833
I mean, but how do you save someone
from having -- like, how do you
jumpstart, like, a heart and...
194
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,134
Help me please, i'd like to know.
195
00:09:44,135 --> 00:09:46,472
Yeah, me too. Poor guy, look at him.
196
00:09:46,473 --> 00:09:49,832
- He seems fibrilated, and if we could just...
- Yeah, fibrilated.
197
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:52,833
- ...try to de-fibrilate him, he...
- Yeah, he seems too fibrilly.
198
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:55,084
Yeah, he seems over-fibrilated,
or something.
199
00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:58,085
If there's a way to un-fibrilate him,
like to de-febrilate him,
200
00:09:58,086 --> 00:10:01,624
you know, then we... Then we'd be talkin'.
Then we'd have something to talk about.
201
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:02,925
I'll takes care of this!
202
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:06,888
Holds on!
203
00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,189
Come back, Toki. Come back!
204
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,940
I'm havings a panic attack,
nots a heart attack!
205
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:12,825
Clears!
206
00:10:12,826 --> 00:10:14,548
Comes backs to me, gods dammits!
207
00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:15,849
Comes backs to me's!
208
00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,150
Clears!
209
00:10:18,798 --> 00:10:21,510
Clears!
Clears!
210
00:10:54,661 --> 00:10:56,701
On the next new Metalocalypse:
211
00:10:56,702 --> 00:10:59,869
Dethklok is in a brutal
third-world country.
212
00:10:59,870 --> 00:11:03,635
Maybe if you haven't destroyed
the record, in the first place,
213
00:11:03,636 --> 00:11:05,386
we wouldn't be here!
214
00:11:05,387 --> 00:11:08,675
- I said i was sorry!
- No you didn't ever say...
215
00:11:08,676 --> 00:11:11,312
It was implied!
216
00:11:11,313 --> 00:11:15,311
- I'd like to add to the record...
- You know that i have
217
00:11:15,312 --> 00:11:17,358
an apology problem!
218
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,900
Get in the van!
219
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:21,201
All of you!
220
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:24,048
New Metalocalypse
Next Sunday at 12:15