1 00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:16,393 Hey, golf is easy now! 2 00:00:16,476 --> 00:00:19,229 Aah! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard again! 3 00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:21,356 The view from here is the same as yours, Jim. 4 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:23,525 A giant head has entered Earth's gravity, 5 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:25,652 triggering climate change and natural disasters 6 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,655 we thought were impossible for at least another eight years. 7 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:30,240 Let's not make this political, Terry. 8 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,534 Do we know what this giant head wants? 9 00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:36,121 Show me what you got. 10 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:41,668 Jim, you heard the... said... "Show me what you got." 11 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,461 Show me what you got. 12 00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:45,630 I want to see what you got. 13 00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,465 Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty. 14 00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:48,549 Uh, where? 15 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:49,843 The Pentagon. 16 00:00:49,926 --> 00:00:51,636 I mean, not the Pentagon. 17 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,555 The lame one here on Earth. 18 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,641 ♪♪ 19 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,212 Is it God? 20 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,757 If it's God, do we get out of school? 21 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,508 It's not God, Summer. 22 00:01:30,592 --> 00:01:32,802 She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey. 23 00:01:32,886 --> 00:01:33,720 Shut up, Jerry. 24 00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:34,803 Okay. 25 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,432 Dad, what do you know about this? 26 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:38,826 Morty and I are going to look into it. 27 00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:39,934 You guys hold tight. 28 00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:45,148 Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky. 29 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:46,608 Hi. I'm Morty's math teacher. 30 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:48,777 I'm also part of the street team inviting folks 31 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,362 to the church downtown so we can pray together. 32 00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:52,864 How is praying going to help? 33 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,241 Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather. 34 00:01:55,325 --> 00:01:57,327 Did you want to play checkers? Let's be rational! 35 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,412 I'll see you at God's house! 36 00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:05,460 Gentlemen, gentlemen! One at a time! Simon? 37 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,754 Seti, Norad, and every broadcaster on the planet 38 00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,173 are attempting to show this being what humanity's got... 39 00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:12,300 String Theory, World History, the Human Genome... 40 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:14,385 Have you tried sending it launch codes? 41 00:02:14,469 --> 00:02:16,638 Mr. President, what America's got 42 00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:19,390 is 70,000 megatons of kaboom-boom, 43 00:02:19,474 --> 00:02:22,685 and I say we show it right up this floating head's ass. 44 00:02:22,769 --> 00:02:23,937 No, you need to let me talk! 45 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,271 Shut up! 46 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:26,648 Hold it! Don't move! 47 00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:29,567 Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes! 48 00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:30,652 ♪♪ 49 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:33,822 Oh! 50 00:02:33,905 --> 00:02:35,949 Stand down! Everybody, stand down! 51 00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:38,576 I'm the leader of these people, and I'm unarmed. 52 00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:41,204 There's no need for any more snake-makery. 53 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,497 My name is Rick Sanchez. 54 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,849 This here is my grandson, Morty. 55 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,625 - Hi, Morty. - Hey. 56 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,561 I've seen enough of the Galaxy to know what we've got here 57 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,963 is a Cromulon from the Signus Five Expanse. 58 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,924 So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math. 59 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,509 This head won't go away 60 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:56,511 until Earth shows them it's got... 61 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,263 a hit song. 62 00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,806 - A hit song? - We can't possibly... 63 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,891 - You mean like Vivaldi? - No, Frasier. 64 00:03:01,975 --> 00:03:05,395 A live performance of a newly written, catchy original song. 65 00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:06,997 The Cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship 66 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,565 of less-evolved life-forms. 67 00:03:08,648 --> 00:03:10,408 All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez. 68 00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:11,609 Change of plan, people. 69 00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:12,878 Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman, 70 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:15,780 Billy Corgan, and The-Dream. 71 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:16,865 The-Dream? 72 00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:18,967 He wrote "Umbrella" and "Single Ladies"? 73 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,785 You people haven't heard of The-Dream? 74 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,847 You're gonna want to put them on that giant speaker system 75 00:03:22,871 --> 00:03:24,831 at your sonic testing facility at Area 51. 76 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:26,291 How do you know about that? 77 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,417 For god's sake, Nathan, 78 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,686 the man turns people into snakes. 79 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,378 He can use Google maps. 80 00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,022 Sir, Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy... 81 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,840 - They're all dead. - What? 82 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:36,467 How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them? 83 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:37,844 The Grammys, sir. 84 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,263 There was an earthquake and... all the musicians, 85 00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,765 all the famous ones... they're gone. 86 00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:44,017 Dear god. 87 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,018 Hold on, sir. Just a minute. 88 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:46,853 Ice-T survived. 89 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,856 He's inbound on an F-15, E.T.A. two hours. 90 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,482 Good luck, Mr. President. 91 00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:53,401 Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse. 92 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,570 In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save. 93 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,780 Sanchez? Are you a musician? 94 00:03:57,864 --> 00:03:59,616 I dabble, Mr. President. 95 00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:02,744 Get this man and his grandson on a Black Hawk to Area 51. 96 00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,955 People! Everyone! Remain calm! 97 00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:09,751 Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith. 98 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,587 When God deals you an 11, you don't fold! 99 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,796 You double down! 100 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,757 And always hit on a soft 16. 101 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,425 That means you, Jews. 102 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,969 I beg your pardon, Pastor, but the last I looked outside, 103 00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:22,847 it seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand. 104 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:24,766 Jews rule! 105 00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:26,768 Nobody? Okay, tough church. 106 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,019 Hi. Principal Vagina... 107 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,896 The name's real, possibly Scandinavian. 108 00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,624 I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch... 109 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:32,899 The old gods are dead. 110 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,485 Fuck all previous existing religions. 111 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,737 All hail the one true God... 112 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,948 The giant head in the sky. 113 00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,574 - Children of God! - Ah-ta-ta-ta! 114 00:04:41,658 --> 00:04:42,909 Bob, Bob, I get it. 115 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:45,578 But unless this can beat that, 116 00:04:45,662 --> 00:04:47,497 what have you done for me lately? 117 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:48,790 So, if you'll all excuse me, 118 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:50,500 I'm going out onto the sidewalk, 119 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,710 I'm dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul 120 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:55,463 to the thing that literally controls the fucking weather. 121 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,923 Out of my way. 122 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,007 Okay. 123 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:01,511 If sanity's been restored to this assembly, 124 00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:04,931 I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ. 125 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,557 Sally, the plate, please. 126 00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,768 Oh! This is my favorite part! 127 00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:11,938 Rick, are you really a musician? 128 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,564 Who's not a musician, Morty? 129 00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,525 - Me! - Yeah, not with that attitude. 130 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,485 We're in the drop zone! I'm the jumpmaster! 131 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,070 My name's Jamey... With an e-y! 132 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,488 Go, go, go! 133 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,073 B-but... But we don't have a song! 134 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,450 Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we've done. 135 00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:26,536 We're sorry for our increased levels of emissions 136 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,579 and our racism and, of course, the amber alerts 137 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:29,998 I keep ignoring on my phone. 138 00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:31,916 Whoa! 139 00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,962 All right, Morty. Let's get... let's do it. 140 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,898 Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards 141 00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:39,149 and lay down some kind of beat? 142 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,733 Rick, I think we need to cut our losses. 143 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,480 W-we get our family and portal out of here! 144 00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:44,887 Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed. 145 00:05:44,971 --> 00:05:46,848 Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat! 146 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,558 Oh, man. Okay. All right, um... 147 00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,856 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 148 00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:57,108 ♪ You gotta get schwifty ♪ 149 00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,695 ♪ You gotta get schwifty in here ♪ 150 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,113 ♪ It's time to get schwifty ♪ 151 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,573 ♪ Uh-oh ♪ 152 00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:06,034 Get "Schwifty"? What the hell is that? 153 00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:08,995 It's our world's best effort. That's what. 154 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,788 ♪ Take off your pants and your panties ♪ 155 00:06:10,872 --> 00:06:12,874 ♪ Shit on the floor ♪ 156 00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:15,084 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪ 157 00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:17,503 ♪ I'm Mr. Bulldops ♪ 158 00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,130 "Mr. Bulldops"? 159 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,691 Don't analyze it, Nathan. It's working! 160 00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:22,467 ♪ Take a shit on the floor ♪ 161 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,635 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪ 162 00:06:28,181 --> 00:06:32,018 ...and third-level donors get our all-access family pass. 163 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,978 Listen! The storm is stopping! 164 00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:36,564 ♪ Hey, take your pants off ♪ 165 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,483 ♪ It's schwifty time today ♪ 166 00:06:39,025 --> 00:06:41,402 Hmm. 167 00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,697 Please be kind to us, for we are but tiny things 168 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,783 with entire bodies, stuck to your ground. 169 00:06:46,866 --> 00:06:51,788 I like what you got! Good job! 170 00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,873 - Yeah! - Whoo! 171 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,041 We did it! 172 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,628 What do you know? He was right! 173 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,963 - Hooray Principal Vagina! - Yeah, I'll take it. 174 00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:02,131 Now, hold on a second! 175 00:07:02,215 --> 00:07:04,092 Let's be rational about this. 176 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,719 No, I'm... I'm just saying, 177 00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:08,930 we don't know there's a cause-effect relationship... 178 00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:10,640 Oh, my god! 179 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:11,641 What is going on now?! 180 00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:12,892 Whoa! Whoa! 181 00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,978 ♪♪ 182 00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:21,859 What the hell happened? 183 00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:23,778 Mr. President, you're gonna want to see this. 184 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,072 I think planet Earth has just been transported. 185 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,783 The Head has left and sent its children. 186 00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,576 Holy crap! 187 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:33,538 Oh, dear giant Head, we apologize for that discussion. 188 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,248 It will never happen again. 189 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,041 Oh, dear... Oh, dear giant Head... 190 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:40,795 Sir, we started picking up on a garbled signal. 191 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,046 We're decrypting it now. 192 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,217 We asked them to show us what they got, 193 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,094 and they did. 194 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:51,139 Now we'll see which of them has got the most. 195 00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:55,685 24 hours, 5 planets, 5 songs. 196 00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:58,146 But in the end, there can only be one... 197 00:07:58,229 --> 00:08:00,106 Planet Music! 198 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,774 All participation is involuntary. 199 00:08:01,858 --> 00:08:03,109 Disqualified and losing planets 200 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,111 are disintegrated by plasma ray. 201 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,904 Uh, it's probably a bad time to mention it, 202 00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:10,199 but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead. 203 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,829 Welcome back to "Planet Music"! 204 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,539 First up, let's hear the latest song 205 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:20,001 from planet Parblesnops', The Greeby Bobes! 206 00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,711 Show me what you got! 207 00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:24,005 Hold it, hold it. Stop. 208 00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,549 Music isn't about competition or captivity. 209 00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:28,676 If you love music, you love freedom. 210 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,554 Let these worlds be free! Please! 211 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,389 Disqualified. 212 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:38,853 There's one every season. 213 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:42,023 Moving on to planet Arboles Mentirosos. 214 00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:46,652 Arbolian Mentirososians, show us what you got! 215 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:48,404 A 2, 3, 4! 216 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,043 Rick, Morty, Ice-T, the timetable's moved up. 217 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:03,711 Earth's on in six hours. 218 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,880 Like we're not already under enough pressure?! 219 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,840 - Whoa! Whoa! - Yeah! 220 00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:10,885 Geez, Morty, the guy's just doing his job. Take it easy. 221 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,804 Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?! 222 00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:15,890 We've got six hours to come up with a song! 223 00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,683 Genius happens in the moment, Morty. 224 00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:19,352 Well, can we at least go get our family? 225 00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:20,621 You know, so we can take them wis... 226 00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:22,063 With u... With us if we lose? 227 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,648 That's planning for failure, Morty. 228 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,066 Even dumber than regular planning. 229 00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:26,150 Balls. 230 00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:27,902 Morty, Morty, stop. Listen. 231 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,630 There's only so much charge left in this thing. 232 00:09:29,654 --> 00:09:31,364 If we portal home from here and back, 233 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,383 we're not gonna have enough charge left to get off world. 234 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,407 - Get it? - What?! 235 00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,660 - Yeah. - You see? 236 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,911 I try to shelter you 237 00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:38,388 from certain realities Morty, 238 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,848 because if I let you make me nervous, 239 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,415 then we can't get schwifty. 240 00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:43,626 Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up! 241 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,086 Hey, Morty, could you lick my... 242 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,629 balls, balls... 243 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,339 Rick, cut it out! It's not funny, Rick! 244 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:51,092 I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders. 245 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,426 And what's your plan, General? 246 00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:53,803 We still have the nuclear option. 247 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,930 On my word, we can launch a missile 248 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:58,099 at every one of those heads in the sky. 249 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,476 Our planet's held captive on a live game show, 250 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,162 and your solution is to shoot the audience? 251 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,456 You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, General. 252 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,108 Until then, I'll put mine in Rick and Morty. 253 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,694 "Get Schwifty" was a jam. 254 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,779 Hello? Yes, sir, yeah. 255 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,364 Eh, thank you, sir. Thank you. 256 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,825 He says he's proud of what we're doing 257 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,537 and hopes we have a great ascension festival! 258 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,620 Happy ascension! 259 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,872 Happy ascension! 260 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:23,833 We should pack up and leave town now. 261 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:26,669 I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear 262 00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:29,046 in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream. 263 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,424 If you'd stop being such an evangelical atheist, 264 00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:33,384 you might start enjoying yourself. 265 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,969 Whoa! Look at you! 266 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,595 You're wearing the hat and everything! 267 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:37,972 Here's yours! 268 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:40,099 Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight? 269 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,143 Yeah, sure. Wait. What? 270 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,895 I love you guys. You gave me life. 271 00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:46,605 And it's the will of the many Heads 272 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,733 that all children honor their parents. 273 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,109 Dinner sounds nice. 274 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,652 Pardon, Mr. And Mrs. Smith. 275 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,571 Summer, are you coming to the ascension? 276 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,906 Father, can we please go to the ascension? 277 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:57,700 Sure! Let's go to the ascension. 278 00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:58,951 Wh-wh-what is it? 279 00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:01,162 We hereby send these unwantables skyward 280 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,789 that they might be inhaled by the many Heads, 281 00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:06,959 later to be sneezed back to us as better babies. 282 00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:09,170 Headward, free now to rise. 283 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,172 Headward, free now to rise. 284 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:12,673 Headward, free now to rise. 285 00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:15,426 Oh, yes! Yes! Rise to the giant Head! 286 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,053 You are free to be free! 287 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,138 And squeegee comes up from the garage, right? 288 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,890 But he's got a lobster in one hand, 289 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,909 the movie tickets in the other, he's like, "I'm ready!" 290 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,954 You gonna take a lobster to see "Iron Man 3"? 291 00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,855 Ice-T! 292 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,065 Ah, damn. 293 00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:31,150 We're out of original-flavor Fig Newtons. 294 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,568 I should get going anyway. 295 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,903 Wait, wait, wait! C-come on. 296 00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,988 H-hold on a second. Hold on. 297 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:39,700 - What?! - Damn. 298 00:11:39,784 --> 00:11:41,928 You didn't tell me you fuck around with portals and shit. 299 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,037 That's it! 300 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,497 Whoa, whoa, Morty! Give me that. 301 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,807 You lied! You lied about the charge! 302 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,124 You were just being lazy! 303 00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,209 Get back! Sit down! 304 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:49,585 Morty, just put it down. 305 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,948 You don't know what you're doing. 306 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:52,755 I'm going to go find mom and dad! 307 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,756 No! 308 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:54,757 Oh shit. 309 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,133 Oh shit. 310 00:11:56,217 --> 00:11:59,011 ♪♪ 311 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,730 Oh shit. 312 00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:11,649 And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned 313 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,235 the seven contemplations of the Head by singing them. 314 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,153 It was really fun. 315 00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:17,571 Praise be the Head! 316 00:12:17,655 --> 00:12:19,949 - Praise be the... - Yeah. 317 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,867 Hi, folks. Head Priest Vagina. 318 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:23,744 Thanks for farming all those potatoes. 319 00:12:23,828 --> 00:12:25,268 It's 6:00 p.m, so if you're a parent, 320 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,957 you're now entitled to adoration from your children. 321 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,625 I'm going to start dinner! 322 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,918 I don't know what to say. 323 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,962 Summer is doing really well here. 324 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:35,798 She's aced every test in potato class, 325 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,967 and look how important potatoes have become. 326 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:41,762 She's not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew. 327 00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:43,848 Please help me. You can reach me if you try. 328 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,266 Please help me! 329 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,518 That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving. 330 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,270 Taco time! 331 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,730 I hope it pleases you as the Head desires. 332 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,274 That's wonderful, Summer. 333 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,025 We're so proud of you. 334 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:57,528 But obviously you don't have to make dinner every night. 335 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,947 Of course I do, silly! 336 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,992 Oh, my god, daddy! I'm sorry I called you silly! 337 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,618 I'm so sorry! 338 00:13:04,702 --> 00:13:06,120 Heavenly Heads and cranial creator, 339 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,747 forgive my transgressions against family and community. 340 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,250 May my chores complete me as I complete them. 341 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,798 ♪♪ 342 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:27,850 Morty. 343 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:28,726 Birdperson? 344 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:29,809 You appear to be dying. 345 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,228 I will make efforts to prevent this 346 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,688 but can promise nothing. 347 00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:41,047 Wh-what do you think, Ice? Probably a little overdeveloped. 348 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,866 Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped... 349 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,242 A bad song's a bad song. 350 00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:46,785 Well, do you think, maybe... 351 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,054 Could you give me some help with it, or...? 352 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,330 Aw, hell no, man. 353 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,248 You do your thing, but I can't afford to 354 00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,809 get my pride wrapped up in your shame. 355 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,168 You know what I'm saying? 356 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,188 Ice, I don't want to be a negative Nelly or anything, 357 00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:58,148 but if Morty doesn't come back with my portal gun 358 00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,632 and I eat it out there, 359 00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:01,592 it's, uh, you know, kind of your problem, too. 360 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,595 Pfft! I ain't worried about no Earth blowing up, man. 361 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:05,930 What? Why not? 362 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,849 Yo, this is why. 363 00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,976 What the fuck, you can turn into ice? 364 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:13,270 My story begins at the dawn of time 365 00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:15,898 in the faraway realm of Alphabetrium. 366 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:19,026 There, every being is a letter of the alphabet. 367 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:23,113 But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders 368 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:26,200 as punishment for not caring enough about anything. 369 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,244 Earth is just one of my many stops 370 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:31,080 on a lifelong journey with no destination. 371 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,749 So you better believe I don't care if it blows up, 372 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,919 because I'll just be ice floating through space, 373 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,629 like a comet. 374 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,752 Take it from me, Ice, you can't just 375 00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:43,133 Float around space not caring about stuff forever. 376 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,969 Pfft. Man, watch me. 377 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,720 Good luck, Rick. 378 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,101 Okay, things are getting out of hand. 379 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,828 I better make sure Rick has everything he needs 380 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:54,979 to get schwifty. 381 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,814 Oh, for god's sakes. That's enough. 382 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,333 What the hell are you doing, Nathan?! 383 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:00,776 I'm the goddamn President of the United fucking States! 384 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,419 I'm setting the nuclear option to launch 385 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,405 one minute into Earth's performance. 386 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,157 And you, Mr. President... 387 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:10,244 I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun. 388 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:13,163 Wait, wait, wait. Why... why... 389 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,334 I believe I can access the history of Rick's gun 390 00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:18,836 and help you get back to him. 391 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,105 But can you help me get to my family? 392 00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:21,255 You know, at... at my house? 393 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,257 Is your intention to abandon Rick 394 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,883 using his own portal gun? 395 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,678 In Bird culture, this is considered a dick move. 396 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,680 All of Rick's moves are dick moves! 397 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:30,973 What... What am I eating? 398 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,433 Wh-what is this, bird... birdseed? 399 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,977 It is random debris. I found it in my carpet. 400 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,437 I don't know what humans eat. 401 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,147 You know what this human eats. 402 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,273 Don't be gross, Tammy. 403 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,774 Bird dick. 404 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,234 Tammy, gross. 405 00:15:42,318 --> 00:15:44,028 Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick, 406 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,155 but he doesn't care about anyone but himself. 407 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:47,823 He doesn't think about the consequences 408 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,033 of anything he does. 409 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,451 And as a result, he has the power 410 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,995 to save or destroy entire worlds. 411 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,289 And he is the reason you and I know each other... 412 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:58,000 and the reason I'm alive at all. 413 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,084 ♪♪ 414 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,756 What's that? Who's that baby? 415 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:06,175 Morty, suppose you could retrieve your family from Earth 416 00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,843 but had to abandon Rick. 417 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,304 I could give your loved ones shelter on Birdworld, 418 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,015 even jobs, possibly as worm ranchers. 419 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,768 How often do you think you might look up at the stars 420 00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,353 and wonder what might have been 421 00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:19,521 had you just put your faith in Rick? 422 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,733 That was Chunkytunk with 423 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,110 "Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorbdork." 424 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:27,196 Up next, planet Earth! 425 00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,989 Oh, god! We're up?! 426 00:16:29,073 --> 00:16:31,450 Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example 427 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,786 of what Headism has to offer the world. 428 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,913 - The world? - Headism is a hit. 429 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,807 We're taking it worldwide, and we'd like Jerry to be 430 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,750 our church's Head of advertising. 431 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,210 You would? 432 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,420 Beth, we'd like to promote you from horse surgeon 433 00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:46,382 straight past human surgeon to Head of medicine. 434 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:47,925 That's my dream! That's my dream. 435 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,886 Thank you. This is all so overwhelming. 436 00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,262 But, uh... 437 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,472 we can't. - Absolutely not. 438 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:54,555 I'm sorry? 439 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,392 We've been waiting 16 years 440 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,143 for our daughter to respect us, 441 00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,896 but the key is, it has to be our daughter, 442 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,898 not this person she's become. 443 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,192 We'll take our chances raising her 444 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,777 without fancy new jobs, 445 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,071 outside of a potato-based religion. 446 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:12,282 And you know what? I-I'm sick of pretending that we're together 447 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,243 because of the kids in the first place. 448 00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:17,496 I married you because you're the love of my life. 449 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,374 And I'm lucky to have you, and I never tell you that! 450 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:23,877 You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family. 451 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,921 Please don't do this! Please don't do this! 452 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,006 - Summer! - Summer, listen carefully. 453 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,970 I stole a paper clip, and I have it in my cheek, 454 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,861 but I don't know what to do with it, and it hurts. 455 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:32,970 You're going to be okay. 456 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,388 You will come back as babies. 457 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,015 I am a baby! I'm a baby now! 458 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,100 Hello? 459 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,935 Is anybody here? 460 00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,397 Mr. President! 461 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,983 This is Bluebird! 462 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,276 Code Tango Niner Alpha! 463 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,445 Abort launch! Abort! Hello? 464 00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:50,821 He's blocked me out. 465 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,144 Sir, I need to get to the stage 466 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,449 and help Rick get Schwifty! 467 00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:55,218 It won't matter how Schwifty you get, Morty. 468 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,594 The General's got nukes set to launch 469 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,162 halfway through Earth's song! 470 00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,372 Oh, my god! Uh, c-can you fly a Black Hawk? 471 00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:02,458 Can the Pope's dick fit through a doughnut? 472 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,501 Uh, I'm... not sure. 473 00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:06,253 Exactly. 474 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:10,299 Show me what you got! 475 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:13,886 Uh... 476 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,596 ♪ Lapoo lapoo lapoo dops ♪ 477 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,431 ♪ Napoo napoo napoo nots ♪ 478 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,975 Headward, free now to rise. 479 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:21,351 Hey, look at the Heads! 480 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,020 Looks like the Heads are getting angry! 481 00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:25,731 I'm really bad at this, Morty! 482 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,292 There are way too many buttons in this thing! 483 00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,443 Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today 484 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,196 it's that sometimes you have to not give a fuck. 485 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,072 ♪ Napoo napoo nots ♪ 486 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,532 Ugh. Tough crowd. 487 00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,201 I'm sure that has... 488 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,620 That has nothing to do with this. 489 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,081 The Heads are displeased! 490 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,082 Summer! 491 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,083 Um... 492 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,004 Morty! 493 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,214 Hooray! 494 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,465 Hooray! Look! 495 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,633 Hooray! 496 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,343 The Heads love this! 497 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,845 They love it when we don't kill the Smith family! 498 00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:58,430 No! Stop that! 499 00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:00,808 You're not allowed to interpret the will of the Heads! 500 00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:03,644 Call off the nuclear strike! This is the President! 501 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,270 Stop the nuclear missile launch! 502 00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,980 Just launch the missiles! 503 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,362 Boo! Not cool! 504 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,364 I'm the only one that speaks to the Heads! 505 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:16,448 Disqualified! 506 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:20,118 The Heads disqualified Vagina! Get him! 507 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,203 Disqualified! 508 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:22,621 Disqualified! 509 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:26,291 ♪♪ 510 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,340 Ice-T?! 511 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,968 That's right. It's me... Ice-T. 512 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,636 I care now. 513 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:40,055 You made me care more. 514 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,640 With all due respect, 515 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:45,519 I'd like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play. 516 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,354 What do you say, Rick? 517 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,940 I say, let's do it! 518 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,376 Hooray! 519 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,401 Yeah. 520 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,528 All right. 521 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,238 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - Uh-huh. 522 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,698 Here we go. 523 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,324 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 524 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:00,408 ♪ Say it with me ♪ 525 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,619 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 526 00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,538 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪ 527 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,539 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 528 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,583 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 529 00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:10,043 ♪ Yeah, raised up posterior ♪ 530 00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:11,128 Sing it with me now! 531 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,672 Oh, my go... 532 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,382 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 533 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,465 Yeah. 534 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,093 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪ 535 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,176 All right! 536 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,554 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 537 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:24,975 Oh, yeah. Raised up posterior! 538 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,270 After 988 seasons of "Planet Music," 539 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:32,566 the Cromulons have decided to declare Earth the final winner 540 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,986 and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion. 541 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,070 Goodbye. 542 00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,574 - Yeah! - We did it! Yes! 543 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,534 Let's get a music album now! 544 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:46,371 Did he just say "Musical Reality Show"? 545 00:20:46,455 --> 00:20:49,291 Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating 546 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,752 some things that weren't actually related at all. 547 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:52,836 Help! 548 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,588 We should go get him. 549 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,151 I hope I can call on you and Rick again if I need you, Morty. 550 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,593 Sure thing. And I... 551 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,054 I was kind of hoping that I could get a selfie with you? 552 00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:04,389 Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here, 553 00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:06,433 we'll deny it and probably worse. 554 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,516 Understood. 555 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:08,644 D-I-i-i-i-ie! 556 00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:10,729 Oh, no, no, no! 557 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:13,315 Why didn't he turn into a snake? 558 00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,733 Trade secret, Mr. President. 559 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,526 Particle beam in a wristwatch, 560 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:19,029 snake holster on the leg. 561 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,706 I love this man! 562 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,793 ♪♪ 563 00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:06,118 Magnesium-J, Hydrogen-F... 564 00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:07,953 Father. 565 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:11,081 Word of your selfless acts on the Earth planet 566 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:13,166 have traveled across the galaxy. 567 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:14,584 I have changed. 568 00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:18,088 I am ready to rejoin my brethren on Alphabetrium. 569 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,172 Very well. 570 00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:21,925 Your exile ends today. 571 00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:27,431 Welcome home, Water-T. 572 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,143 The Numbericons! They're attacking! 573 00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,853 Battle stations! 574 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:33,937 Aah! 575 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,105 Father! 576 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:36,440 I love you, son. 577 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:39,943 I should have never turned you to ice. 578 00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:43,697 Water-T, where are you going?! 579 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:45,282 There's too many of them! 580 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:48,118 Then I better crunch the numbers. 581 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,079 - Aaaaaaaaaaaah! 582 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,668 Did you get any of that? 583 00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,879 It's-a good show-a.