1 00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:03,672 So, Dad, guess what tomorrow is. 2 00:00:03,755 --> 00:00:05,715 Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. 3 00:00:05,799 --> 00:00:08,259 No. Well, it... might be. 4 00:00:08,343 --> 00:00:09,427 - It is. - Fine. 5 00:00:09,511 --> 00:00:12,180 But also, tomorrow is your one-year anniversary 6 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,556 back in our lives. 7 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,850 I'm gonna make you flying-saucer-shaped pancakes. 8 00:00:15,934 --> 00:00:17,602 Oh, t-t-there's no need to do that, Beth. 9 00:00:17,686 --> 00:00:19,062 Regular pancakes are fine. 10 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,862 Oh, my god! Oh, what is happening?! 11 00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:02,188 Happy anniversary, Dad. 12 00:01:02,272 --> 00:01:03,565 Oh, I get it. 13 00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:06,401 Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers. 14 00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,236 Mmm. I-I should be making you breakfast 15 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,113 for putting up with me. 16 00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:12,240 You should be making us a whole restaurant. 17 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,367 Nonsense. We couldn't be happier to have you around. 18 00:01:14,451 --> 00:01:16,453 I just wish I got to see more of you. 19 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:21,082 Rick Sanchez of Earth dimension C-137, 20 00:01:21,166 --> 00:01:23,668 you are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks 21 00:01:23,752 --> 00:01:26,796 by the authority of the Trans-Dimensional Council of Ricks. 22 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,715 - Hey! What the heck?! - Neutralize the Jerry. 23 00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,050 - Wait! No! I'll... - Dad! 24 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,427 - Dad! - Rick! 25 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,012 Everybody, relax. 26 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,975 If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, 27 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,742 they just want to haul me to their stupid clubhouse 28 00:01:37,766 --> 00:01:39,452 and waste my time with a bunch of questions. 29 00:01:39,476 --> 00:01:42,020 - Let's get it over with. - Bring his Morty. 30 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:44,230 - Oh, man. - Leave my Morty out of this. 31 00:01:44,314 --> 00:01:45,833 You lost the right to have a say in these things 32 00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:47,817 when you refused to j... join the council. 33 00:01:47,901 --> 00:01:49,736 W-W-W-What about Jerry? 34 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:53,156 Will you at least unfreeze my daughter's idiot? 35 00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,574 ...give you anything! 36 00:01:54,657 --> 00:01:56,367 I have a rare antique- coin collection! 37 00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:58,244 Just don't hurt me! 38 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,499 Okay, maybe not antique, but it was a limited minting. 39 00:02:02,582 --> 00:02:04,643 They have little R2-D2s instead of George Washington. 40 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:05,919 Our son's been abducted! 41 00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:08,505 You hate me for buying those coins! 42 00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:13,551 Geez, Rick, w-what is this place? 43 00:02:13,635 --> 00:02:14,844 The citadel of Ricks. 44 00:02:14,928 --> 00:02:17,430 It's the secret headquarters for the Council of Ricks. 45 00:02:17,514 --> 00:02:19,641 - Council of Ricks? - As you know, Morty... 46 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:21,392 I've got a lot of enemies in the universe 47 00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:23,144 that consider my genius a threat... 48 00:02:23,228 --> 00:02:25,271 Galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, 49 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:27,649 most of the entire intergalactic government. 50 00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,794 W-W-Wherever you find people with heads up their asses, 51 00:02:29,818 --> 00:02:31,611 someone wants a piece of your grandpa, 52 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:34,614 and a lot of versions of me had the same problem, 53 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:37,033 so a few thousand versions of me had the ingenious idea 54 00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:39,661 of banding together like a herd of cattle 55 00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:41,454 or a school of fish 56 00:02:41,538 --> 00:02:43,641 or those people who answer questions on Yahoo! Answers. 57 00:02:43,665 --> 00:02:46,334 Hey! What do you know? It's a cowboy version of me. 58 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,794 Geez, you're easy to impress. 59 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,157 Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, 60 00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,713 and most Ricks have a Morty. 61 00:02:50,797 --> 00:02:52,797 This place is a real who's who of who's you and me. 62 00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:56,845 Turn your boring, old Morty into a f... hot fashion statement 63 00:02:56,928 --> 00:02:58,596 with some Morty dazzlers. 64 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,557 Hey, check this out. 65 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,684 - Show me the Morty. - Dumb. 66 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,310 Excuse me, sir, is your Morty insured? 67 00:03:04,394 --> 00:03:06,413 You know, every year, hundreds of Mortys are injured... 68 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:07,605 Back off! 69 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:08,940 Not my cup of tea, this place. 70 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,484 I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick. 71 00:03:11,568 --> 00:03:13,152 Save your anti-Rick speech 72 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,863 for the Council of Ricks, terror-Rick. 73 00:03:14,946 --> 00:03:16,573 Hey, save your Rick rules 74 00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:18,658 for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig. 75 00:03:18,741 --> 00:03:20,618 - Fuck me, pal. - Fuck you? 76 00:03:20,702 --> 00:03:23,538 No, no, no, no, no. Fuck me. 77 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:37,635 Bring up the holograms. 78 00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:41,681 27 Ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines... 79 00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:45,059 An unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. 80 00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:47,812 What say you, Earth Rick C-137? 81 00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:49,522 You think I did this? 82 00:03:49,606 --> 00:03:52,525 Why am I the first Rick you pull in every time a Rick stubs his toe? 83 00:03:52,609 --> 00:03:54,444 You have a history of non-cooperation 84 00:03:54,527 --> 00:03:56,362 with the council. 85 00:03:56,446 --> 00:03:58,573 Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick. 86 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,700 W-W-W-W-W-Why isn't he here in handcuffs? 87 00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:02,744 Because he's dead, too! 88 00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:07,040 Who else would we question? You fit the profile. 89 00:04:07,123 --> 00:04:09,334 Of all the Ricks in the central finite curve, 90 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,836 you're the malcontent, the rogue. 91 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,255 I'm the Rick, and so were the rest of you 92 00:04:14,339 --> 00:04:16,257 before you formed this stupid alliance. 93 00:04:16,341 --> 00:04:17,981 You wanted to be safe from the government, 94 00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:19,719 so you became a stupid government. 95 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,488 That makes every Rick here less Rick than me. 96 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:24,974 Yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. 97 00:04:25,058 --> 00:04:27,143 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home 98 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:28,269 with syrup on top of them. 99 00:04:28,353 --> 00:04:30,539 They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption 100 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,148 that turns the cakes into a gross paste, 101 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,108 and I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, 102 00:04:34,192 --> 00:04:37,111 but I think we all like fluffy discs of cake with syrup on top, 103 00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:39,864 and I think we also like to be accused of crimes 104 00:04:39,948 --> 00:04:41,449 when there's evidence! 105 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,952 So, as they say in Canada, peace oot! 106 00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:47,622 Evidence! Good idea. Scan his portal gun! 107 00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:48,915 Oh, come on. 108 00:04:48,998 --> 00:04:51,751 Don't look at another man's portal-gun history. 109 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,795 We... we all go to weird places. 110 00:04:53,878 --> 00:04:55,880 Yes, but it appears you alone 111 00:04:55,964 --> 00:04:58,591 have been going to the exact timelines and locations 112 00:04:58,675 --> 00:05:00,677 in which the murders occurred. 113 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,762 What?! That's Rick-diculous! 114 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,430 I'm obviously being set up. 115 00:05:04,514 --> 00:05:08,101 Earth Rick C-137, the council of Ricks sentences you 116 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,895 to the machine of unspeakable doom, 117 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:13,606 which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, 118 00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:15,483 rendering your fantasies pointless 119 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,653 while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp. 120 00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:21,280 Also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls. 121 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,658 I've heard enough. 122 00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,328 Run, Morty! 123 00:05:27,412 --> 00:05:28,621 Unh-unh. Not you. 124 00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:32,500 Aaaah! 125 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,857 Oh! Oh! 126 00:05:58,735 --> 00:06:00,445 Yeah, I'd like to order one large person 127 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,697 with extra people, please. - White people. 128 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,240 No, no, no, no. Black people. 129 00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,950 And hispanic on half. 130 00:06:17,754 --> 00:06:19,630 Yes, I'd like to order one large sofa chair 131 00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:21,632 with extra chair, please. - High chair. 132 00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:22,925 No, no, no, no. Recliner. 133 00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:24,969 And wheelchair on half. 134 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,691 They could have gone into any one of these. 135 00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:40,777 Son of a... 136 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:42,862 - Oh, geez. - We lost 'em. 137 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,423 Yeah, I'd like to order one large phone 138 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,032 with extra phones, please. - Cellphone. 139 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,492 No, no, no, no. Rotary. 140 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,702 And pay phone on half. 141 00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:52,705 That'll keep 'em busy for a while. 142 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,626 Those guys were wrong, right? 143 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:59,253 Y-Y-Y-You d... you wouldn't kill yourself... y-y-yourselves. 144 00:06:59,337 --> 00:07:01,756 Of course not, Morty. How could that profit me? 145 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,424 But someone out there is killing Ricks, 146 00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:05,194 and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me 147 00:07:05,218 --> 00:07:07,637 until we clear our names... By finding the real Rick-killer. 148 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,388 I'm scared, Rick. 149 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,158 Maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons, 150 00:07:11,182 --> 00:07:12,850 like that show "Doomsday Preppers." 151 00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,477 Not really my style, Morty. 152 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,788 Besides, your home is most likely 153 00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:17,730 swarming with Ricks by now. 154 00:07:19,232 --> 00:07:21,150 All right, listen, Jerry. 155 00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:23,903 If Rick calls, this device is gonna trace his location. 156 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,864 You just gotta keep him on the phone for 30 seconds or longer. 157 00:07:26,948 --> 00:07:29,200 - Who wants lemonade? - Oh, yeah. 158 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,953 Mmm! Oh! Delicious! 159 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:34,038 Beth you're a treasure. 160 00:07:34,122 --> 00:07:36,165 I have a Beth just like you in my reality, 161 00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:37,959 except you know what? 162 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,753 She's not as brilliant or attractive. 163 00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:43,172 - Aw. - Thank you. 164 00:07:43,256 --> 00:07:45,091 Oh! She did! She did it! 165 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,639 - H-hello? - Hey, Jerry, it's Rick. 166 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,724 Rick! Hey. 167 00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:55,184 What's... what's up? 168 00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:58,271 So, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to turn, 169 00:07:58,354 --> 00:08:00,415 so Morty and I are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole. 170 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,400 - What?! - Is that cool with you, dawg? 171 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,443 Rick, no! Morty!! - We got it. 172 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,237 The call's coming from... 173 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,156 ♪ Inside the house ♪ 174 00:08:08,239 --> 00:08:10,199 - Look at his face! - You dummy! 175 00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:12,243 Can't believe our daughter married you. 176 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,120 Too easy! 177 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,722 The Ricks are probably gonna waste some time 178 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:16,831 messing with Jerry. 179 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,416 They won't be able to help themselves. 180 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,543 But as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us. 181 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,646 Phones à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls. 182 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,671 Anything else? 183 00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,131 Yeah, more phone sticks, please. 184 00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:26,048 Right away, sir. 185 00:08:26,132 --> 00:08:27,675 You know, Rick, when I first saw 186 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:28,968 all those Ricks and Mortys, 187 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,095 I thought, "gee, that kind of devalues our bond." 188 00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:32,471 but then I realized it just means 189 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,432 that our relationship must be pretty special 190 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,601 to span over all those different timelines. 191 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,978 Yeah, it's got to be that way. You're a camouflage. 192 00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:42,190 Camouflage? W-W-W-What are you talking about, Rick? 193 00:08:42,273 --> 00:08:44,001 Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave 194 00:08:44,025 --> 00:08:45,735 due to our genius. 195 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,458 The best way to hide from an enemy's radar 196 00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,339 is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves 197 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,115 that make ours invisible. 198 00:08:51,199 --> 00:08:53,034 See, w-w-w-when a Rick I-is with a Morty, 199 00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:56,245 the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh... 200 00:08:56,329 --> 00:08:58,497 ...Morty waves. 201 00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:02,168 Um... because o-our personalities are so different? 202 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,128 Oh, shit, dawg. 203 00:09:04,212 --> 00:09:06,130 My portal gun was hacked remotely, Morty... 204 00:09:06,214 --> 00:09:08,132 Obviously by the real killer, to frame me. 205 00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:10,235 But I was able to trace the signal. Come on. Let's go. 206 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:11,928 Uh-oh. 207 00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:14,072 Excuse me. We've tracked a pair of dangerous criminals 208 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,723 to this exact location. 209 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,868 They look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, 210 00:09:17,892 --> 00:09:19,852 I'm gonna mark us each with a red "X" right now. 211 00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:21,729 That way, if someone has a gun 212 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:23,648 and we both tell you to shoot the other one 213 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:26,192 because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying. 214 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,110 Hey, check it out. 215 00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:30,696 Damn it! 216 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,532 Hey, you didn't pay your bill! 217 00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:35,993 T-The red "X"! Red "X"! 218 00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:38,055 Hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats 219 00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:39,973 and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, Morty? 220 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:41,791 Yeah, Rick, I-I heard you the first time. 221 00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,685 You don't have to keep saying it over and over. 222 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,294 Man, this place is way off the grid. 223 00:09:45,378 --> 00:09:47,088 This guy does not want to be found. 224 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:50,216 Well, if he's a Rick, doesn't he just have to stand by a Morty to hide? 225 00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:53,052 I mean, isn't that what Mortys are... Human cloaking devices? 226 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,972 Morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is. 227 00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:58,849 Oh, my god, Rick, look! 228 00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,686 There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building! 229 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,730 Not people, Morty... Mortys. 230 00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:12,196 Oh, god! 231 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,073 W-Why would somebody do this? It's horrible! 232 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,325 Well, one Morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, 233 00:10:16,409 --> 00:10:18,327 but you get... you get a whole matrix of Mortys 234 00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:20,079 and put them in agonizing pain, 235 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:23,249 that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks, motherfucker. 236 00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:26,335 I fiddled with a concept like this once. 237 00:10:26,419 --> 00:10:28,963 On paper, Morty. On paper. 238 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,798 I wouldn't do this. It's barbaric overkill. 239 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,901 I mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, 240 00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:35,344 five Mortys and a jumper cable. 241 00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,097 Which I also wouldn't do! 242 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,933 I'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship. 243 00:10:41,017 --> 00:10:43,352 - Coffee time! - Yo, yo, yo, yo! 244 00:10:43,436 --> 00:10:46,230 That's what I like to hear! 245 00:10:46,314 --> 00:10:48,024 Hi, Jerry. 246 00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:49,942 Leave me alone. I'm working. 247 00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:51,902 Oh, you are? W-W-W-What do you do? 248 00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:55,031 I-I'm... I'm in between advertising jobs. 249 00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:56,991 Advertising? Wow! 250 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,201 So, people need help figuring out what to buy, 251 00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:00,661 and then y-y-you help 'em? 252 00:11:00,745 --> 00:11:03,247 Well, it's a little more complicated than that. 253 00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:05,541 Well, I mean, you do it, and you seem like a guy 254 00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:07,335 who really has it all together. 255 00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:12,506 Dude, are you... w... You're being a dick, right? 256 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:13,966 Oh, gosh, I-I hope not. 257 00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:16,510 I-I-I-I-I-I wouldn't want to offend you in any way. 258 00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,471 You're really a Rick? 259 00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:20,556 Y... of course I am... 260 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,516 Just as much as my Morty's a Morty. 261 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,393 Hey, he looks a lot like Eric Stoltz 262 00:11:24,477 --> 00:11:26,395 from the movie "Mask." 263 00:11:26,479 --> 00:11:28,189 You know, the one with Cher in it? 264 00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:29,273 That's right, Jerry! 265 00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:31,275 He... he's from a reality where everyone is 266 00:11:31,359 --> 00:11:32,985 Eric Stoltz "Mask" people. 267 00:11:33,069 --> 00:11:34,362 He's Eric Stoltz Mask Morty. 268 00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:35,821 They assigned him to me 269 00:11:35,905 --> 00:11:37,740 because I never had any kids of my own. 270 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,200 But if I did, boy, I'd love them 271 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:40,993 if they were as smart and as successful 272 00:11:41,077 --> 00:11:42,161 as you are, Jerry. 273 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,746 Hey, get a load of this. 274 00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,748 Jerry's hanging out with doofus Rick. 275 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,166 This is perfect. 276 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,751 I'm not doofus Rick! 277 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,044 I'm Rick J19-Zeta-7! 278 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,463 Oh, is that the timeline where everybody eats poop? 279 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,507 Jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right? 280 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:56,217 Hey, I don't eat poop! 281 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,302 Y-You guys are always so mean to me. 282 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,224 I guess it's only fair to tell you now, Jerry. 283 00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,142 I'm the worst Rick of them all. 284 00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,186 According to who... Other versions of you? 285 00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:08,562 If I've learned one thing, 286 00:12:08,646 --> 00:12:10,356 it's that before you get anywhere in life, 287 00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,400 you got to stop listening to yourself. 288 00:12:12,483 --> 00:12:14,235 Wow. You really are wise, Jerry. 289 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:17,196 I-I-I guess that's why you work in advertising. 290 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,198 The fact that you feel that way 291 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,200 makes you the best Rick of them all. 292 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,202 You don't care about me at all! 293 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,165 I'm no different than that jacket you've got on! 294 00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:27,206 Y-Y-Y... o-or your stupid portal gun! 295 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,667 I'm just a tool! I-I-I'm just an object! 296 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,603 Hey, it's your choice to take it personally, Morty. 297 00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,295 Now, for the love of god, be quiet. 298 00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:35,259 The point of this is to get the drop on the guy. 299 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:36,983 You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! 300 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,593 I'm more than a human shield! - Yeah, that's right. You are. 301 00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:42,346 You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, 302 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,306 because you're as dumb as I am smart, 303 00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:46,058 which is why when I say "shut up," 304 00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:48,102 it's really good advice. 305 00:12:50,104 --> 00:12:51,772 Great. Nice work, Morty. 306 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:06,662 Ooh. Look at you, C-137. 307 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,706 You... aren't you a tough customer? 308 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,542 The slow clap? Really? Kind of played out, dude. 309 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,377 Not in this dimension, it isn't. 310 00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:15,087 In fact I invented it. 311 00:13:15,171 --> 00:13:17,256 Nobody else has ever even done it here before. 312 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:18,340 Well, la-di-da. 313 00:13:18,424 --> 00:13:19,717 Hey, that's mine! 314 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,277 I don't like the look of that Rick, Morty. 315 00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,600 - We gotta escape. - I'm not gonna help you, Rick. 316 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,226 Y-You're a monster. 317 00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:31,103 Don't be rick-diculous, Morty. 318 00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:32,897 Will you stop saying that? It's stupid. 319 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,398 Take his Morty away. 320 00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:36,609 - Come with me. - Yeah, gladly. 321 00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:38,986 Geez, man. Ricks, huh? 322 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,988 Hey, man, you seem to know how this place works. 323 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,199 Is there any way we could shut down that grid 324 00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:44,867 and rescue all those Mortys outside? 325 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:46,076 It would be pointless. 326 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,246 Mortys have no chance of defeating a Rick. 327 00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:50,331 In here. 328 00:13:59,048 --> 00:14:01,634 - Ah. Isn't it beautiful? - Yeah, yeah. 329 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:04,094 Looks like payday at Neverland Ranch in here. 330 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,596 Zing! 331 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:06,931 That guy got it. 332 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,390 Unh-unh-unh, Rick. Quiet. 333 00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:10,309 You're missing my symphony. 334 00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:16,273 Hey, I'll take it over Mumford & Sons. Zip! 335 00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:18,150 This guy is on it! 336 00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:20,236 He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick. 337 00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,738 That's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds. 338 00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:27,719 You see, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are. 339 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,745 I wanted you to find me. 340 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,622 We're not so different, you and I. 341 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:34,166 - Yeah, duh! - See this right here, Rick? 342 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:36,210 I crunched the numbers. 343 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:38,379 I created a spectrum of all the Ricks. 344 00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:41,215 I listed them out from most evil to least evil. 345 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:42,967 Here's where I am. 346 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,052 And lookit... right here's where you are, Rick. 347 00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:47,555 This guy right here... Super-weird. 348 00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:49,366 I get it. So you want me to team up with you to take down 349 00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:51,535 The Council of Ricks? Is that where you're going with this? 350 00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:53,018 'Cause that's where I'd be going. 351 00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:55,312 Please. I think I'm doing pretty good on my own. 352 00:14:55,396 --> 00:14:58,315 I'm simply gonna download the contents of your brain 353 00:14:58,399 --> 00:15:01,569 and then kill you. 354 00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,821 Okay, if we add a little more titanium nitrate 355 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:07,074 and just a tad of chlorified tartrate... 356 00:15:08,409 --> 00:15:10,494 ...ovenless brownies! 357 00:15:10,578 --> 00:15:12,288 Mmm. Mmm! 358 00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,415 It's incredible what a gifted mind can accomplish 359 00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,083 when priorities are in order. 360 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,127 Well, come on. I can't take all the credit, Jerry. 361 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,213 It was your idea. Come here, Jerry! 362 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,219 Hey, uh, come here. 363 00:15:27,303 --> 00:15:29,680 I-I want to show you something. 364 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,825 Okay, look, everybody makes fun of me for getting these, 365 00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,977 but you're a genius scientist. What do you think? 366 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:38,689 See? There's little R2-D2s where the George Washingtons should be. 367 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,566 You know, Jerry, I'm not gonna tell you 368 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,443 that these will increase in value 369 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,278 or even hold their current value. 370 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,780 The truth is, you bought them because you like them. 371 00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:50,075 They have value to you. That's what matters. 372 00:15:51,535 --> 00:15:53,621 How long are you staying? 373 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,748 Until we find your Rick. 374 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,791 I found mine. 375 00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:59,793 I found mine. 376 00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:03,964 - Help! - There is no escape, my son. 377 00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:06,508 We will find our peace in the next world. 378 00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:09,261 So, what... y-y-y-y-you're just gonna give up? 379 00:16:09,345 --> 00:16:12,681 We're giving in...to the power of the one true Morty. 380 00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:14,391 One day, he will return. 381 00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:18,270 Praise the one true Morty. 382 00:16:18,354 --> 00:16:21,523 Ugh. All right, Mortys, listen up. 383 00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:25,778 My name is Morty Smith, from Earth dimension C-137. 384 00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:28,364 I know you're scared, because I'm scared. 385 00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:30,616 But that's no reason to accept our fate! 386 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:31,533 We're Mortys! 387 00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:34,286 We're not defined by our relationships to Rick! 388 00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:36,580 Our destiny is our own! 389 00:16:36,664 --> 00:16:38,808 This sounds like something the one true Morty might say. 390 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,751 I'm sick of being a human shield. 391 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,836 I-I-I w... I want to be a gardener! 392 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,340 I want to write really crazy, intense action novels! 393 00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:48,467 I'm more than just a hammer! 394 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,427 He is the one true Morty! 395 00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:52,763 Hooray! The one true Morty! 396 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,682 Hey, keep it down! 397 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,734 You've lived quite a life, Rick. 398 00:17:05,818 --> 00:17:09,238 It's a real shame you won't be around to see it through. 399 00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,832 You're crying? Over a Morty? 400 00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:22,000 No, I'm just allergic to dipshits. 401 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,335 Ugh. Pathetic. 402 00:17:23,419 --> 00:17:26,171 We both know that if there's any truth in the universe, 403 00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:28,799 it's that Ricks don't care about Mortys. 404 00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:34,471 Do your worst, you little bastards! 405 00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:37,182 Kill me! Do it! Do I-i-i-i-it! 406 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:40,352 Morty! Thank god! Get me out of this. 407 00:17:40,436 --> 00:17:43,188 - Come on! - You're lucky I'm not a Rick. 408 00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:46,066 Point taken, but this is no time for arcs. 409 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,695 Oh! 410 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,427 Yeah, hello. 411 00:17:55,451 --> 00:17:57,745 Hey, what do me and O.J. not have in common? 412 00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,496 Huh? W-Who is this? 413 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:03,083 I found the real killer, bitch! Get over here! 414 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:08,172 Yo, ding-dong, we're done here. Time to go. 415 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,174 Well, Jerry 416 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,342 I guess this means goodbye. 417 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,178 W-W-Well, does it have to? 418 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,138 I mean, you... You look just like Rick. 419 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:18,724 We could maybe, you know, get rid of him. 420 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,559 I'm not saying kill him, necessarily. 421 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,395 I... I'm also not saying necessarily not kill him, but... 422 00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:26,148 Jerry, w-we both know it wouldn't work. 423 00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:29,234 It's time to go back to our lives. 424 00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:31,320 I love you, Jerry. I love you. 425 00:18:47,503 --> 00:18:49,087 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 426 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,964 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 427 00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:56,345 W-What... w-what's gonna happen to all these Mortys? 428 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,430 They'll go back to their families, 429 00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:02,601 attend school regularly, play video games, date girls. 430 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,938 Poor little Rickless bastards. 431 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,065 Earth Rick C-137, 432 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:11,235 the council apologizes for its false accusation, 433 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,821 and in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake, 434 00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:17,199 we would like to compensate you with this voucher 435 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,743 for a free replacement Morty in the event 436 00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,870 that your current Morty should... 437 00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:24,248 Uh, guys, not a good time. 438 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,208 Come on, Morty. Let's hit it. 439 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,295 Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? 440 00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:31,755 I did a pretty good job back there 441 00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:33,924 for a human cloaking device. 442 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,367 Saved your ass. - All right, Morty. 443 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:37,135 Don't break an arm jerking yourself off. 444 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,887 Man, I can't believe you, Rick. 445 00:19:38,971 --> 00:19:40,949 That right there, that w... That was a great opportunity 446 00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:42,891 to show a little humanity, you know? 447 00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:44,476 To connect with me a little. 448 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,936 Hey, Morty, you want connection, 449 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,480 go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb Ricks. 450 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,983 You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the Rickest Rick. 451 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:53,360 And, you know, it would g... 452 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,612 Go without saying that the Rickest Rick 453 00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:57,072 would have the Mortyest Morty. 454 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,366 - It would go without saying, huh? - Yeah, it would. 455 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,202 Did you hear me say it? - Nah. 456 00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,204 The Mortyest Morty. 457 00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,498 Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster Brown. 458 00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:08,750 A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. 459 00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:10,711 It can be a real bad thing for everybody. 460 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,379 Oh, yeah? How's that? 461 00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:15,382 U-Uh, I'll explain when you're older. 462 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:17,926 What a mess. 463 00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:19,887 Pride cometh before the fall. 464 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:21,805 I guess he got what he deserved. 465 00:20:21,889 --> 00:20:22,681 What is that? 466 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:25,517 Hand me the laser difibulator. 467 00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,227 Hey, guys, uh, c-can I help? 468 00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,604 No! Go clean the toilets. 469 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,522 Maybe you'll make friends with some turds. 470 00:20:30,606 --> 00:20:33,025 You make us ashamed to be ourselves! 471 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,154 My god. I've seen this technology before. 472 00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,532 This Rick was being controlled remotely... 473 00:20:40,616 --> 00:20:42,117 Puppeteered by somebody else. 474 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,913 This is the receiver. - Yeah, but where's the transmitter? 475 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:37,255 Wubba dubba dub dub! Oh. Hey, Jerry. 476 00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:39,591 W-W-W-What are you doing in my room, buddy? 477 00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:41,760 Nothing. I was just, um... 478 00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,762 checking the smoke detectors. 479 00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:46,765 All right. Okay, get out. 480 00:22:08,245 --> 00:22:10,038 What's that dipshit doing out there? 481 00:22:10,122 --> 00:22:11,248 Are you friends with him? 482 00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,125 You know he eats his own shit, right? 483 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,043 Oh, my god, this is rich! 484 00:22:15,127 --> 00:22:18,046 I've got like 10 Ricks to call right now. 485 00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,008 Did you get any of that? 486 00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:23,051 It's a good-a show!