1 00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:08,303 Captioning made possible by comedy central 2 00:00:08,338 --> 00:00:09,838 I'm going down to south park 3 00:00:09,873 --> 00:00:11,339 Gonna have myself a time 4 00:00:11,773 --> 00:00:13,040 Friendly faces everywhere 5 00:00:13,075 --> 00:00:14,810 Humble folks without temptation 6 00:00:14,845 --> 00:00:16,562 Going down to south park 7 00:00:16,597 --> 00:00:18,089 Gonna leave my woes behind 8 00:00:18,124 --> 00:00:19,581 Ample parking day or night 9 00:00:20,015 --> 00:00:21,316 People spouting "howdy neighbor" 10 00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:23,268 Headin' on up to south park 11 00:00:23,303 --> 00:00:24,786 Gonna see if i can't unwind 12 00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:30,425 So come on down to south park 13 00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:32,594 And meet some friends of mine 14 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,235 Remember when life used to be simple and cool? 15 00:00:40,669 --> 00:00:42,404 Not really. 16 00:00:42,838 --> 00:00:43,705 Uh, hey, how's it going, fellas? 17 00:00:44,139 --> 00:00:45,405 Butters, what the hell are you doing? 18 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,574 Well, i'm just standing around being a kid, why? 19 00:00:47,609 --> 00:00:50,212 How come you're all wearing those oogy spacemen masks? 20 00:00:50,247 --> 00:00:51,478 These are gas masks, butters! 21 00:00:51,513 --> 00:00:52,814 Yeah, if you don't have a gas mask 22 00:00:52,849 --> 00:00:54,116 You're gonna get smallpox or anthrax. 23 00:00:54,151 --> 00:00:55,816 What? 24 00:00:55,851 --> 00:00:57,152 Oh jesus, i don't wanna get the 'thrax, fellas. 25 00:00:57,586 --> 00:00:58,418 What do i do? 26 00:00:58,453 --> 00:01:00,188 There's nothing you can do except stop breathing. 27 00:01:00,223 --> 00:01:01,455 Stop breathing? 28 00:01:01,490 --> 00:01:02,357 Yeah, you can't get it if you don't breathe. 29 00:01:02,392 --> 00:01:03,658 Oh, all right then. 30 00:01:16,671 --> 00:01:18,840 Okay, next. 31 00:01:21,443 --> 00:01:23,143 Next. 32 00:01:23,178 --> 00:01:25,780 Let's see,hotties, juicy, whoppers. 33 00:01:25,815 --> 00:01:27,949 Okay, next. 34 00:01:28,817 --> 00:01:29,649 Aha! 35 00:01:29,684 --> 00:01:31,202 What the hell are you doing with this? 36 00:01:31,237 --> 00:01:32,721 Those are myhootie owl round tip scissors. 37 00:01:32,756 --> 00:01:33,987 These are a weapon! 38 00:01:34,022 --> 00:01:36,191 Oh, come on, how am i gonna kill people with those? 39 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,058 I'll think of a way. 40 00:01:37,492 --> 00:01:38,359 Now, move along. 41 00:01:38,394 --> 00:01:39,192 God damn it! 42 00:01:39,227 --> 00:01:42,264 All right, next! 43 00:01:43,999 --> 00:01:45,734 Okay, clear. 44 00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:57,445 Oh, jesus, man, they're gonna get me! 45 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,712 Oh, christ! 46 00:01:58,747 --> 00:02:00,013 They're gonna get me. 47 00:02:00,048 --> 00:02:02,000 All right, class, as some of you may of heard, 48 00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:03,917 The president has asked that american children 49 00:02:03,952 --> 00:02:07,387 All send one dollar to the children of afghanistan. 50 00:02:07,422 --> 00:02:11,326 So i have a list of addresses and we're gonna all chip in. 51 00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:12,592 Ha! 52 00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:14,362 I'm not giving a dollar to those towel-Heads. 53 00:02:14,397 --> 00:02:16,097 Eric, the afghan people need our help. 54 00:02:16,531 --> 00:02:17,364 Oh, i'm sorry, 55 00:02:17,399 --> 00:02:19,134 But i thought we were at war with these assholes! 56 00:02:19,169 --> 00:02:20,435 We're at war with terrorists, fat-Ass, 57 00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:21,701 Not with afghanistan. 58 00:02:21,736 --> 00:02:22,569 And the only reason you care 59 00:02:22,604 --> 00:02:23,870 Is 'cause you don't wanna give up a dollar. 60 00:02:23,905 --> 00:02:25,605 That dollar buys me a chocolate milk for lunch! 61 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,809 What, you want me to just get a regular milk for 10 cents? 62 00:02:27,844 --> 00:02:30,412 Now look, it isn't our fault that terrorists hate us. 63 00:02:30,447 --> 00:02:31,279 We're just kids. 64 00:02:31,713 --> 00:02:33,014 We aren't the ones bombing them now. 65 00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:34,281 We're just kids. 66 00:02:34,316 --> 00:02:35,617 There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world, 67 00:02:36,051 --> 00:02:37,352 But we're just caught in the middle. 68 00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:38,618 It's not our fault. 69 00:02:38,653 --> 00:02:39,955 The afghan kids are caught in the middle, too. 70 00:02:40,388 --> 00:02:41,690 Yes, but they're sand monkeys! 71 00:02:42,123 --> 00:02:43,425 All right, children, we're all sending a dollar 72 00:02:43,858 --> 00:02:45,376 To the kids in afghanistan. 73 00:02:45,411 --> 00:02:46,860 That's it, end of discussion! 74 00:02:46,895 --> 00:02:50,365 God damn it, i hate regular milk! 75 00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:02,944 Eh! 76 00:03:12,487 --> 00:03:14,222 Ahh! 77 00:03:23,765 --> 00:03:25,500 Ahh! 78 00:03:35,043 --> 00:03:36,778 Ahh! 79 00:04:11,046 --> 00:04:13,214 Another high alert status for terrorist activity this weekend. 80 00:04:13,249 --> 00:04:15,817 The government said bad things are likely to happen. 81 00:04:17,118 --> 00:04:18,636 Meanwhile, the world continues to back down 82 00:04:18,671 --> 00:04:20,120 From their support of the united states, 83 00:04:20,155 --> 00:04:21,890 Saying that they were really only kidding to begin with. 84 00:04:22,324 --> 00:04:23,191 Hey, mom, doorbell's ringing. 85 00:04:24,926 --> 00:04:26,227 Hey, sharon. 86 00:04:26,661 --> 00:04:28,830 Maybe you should stop watching the news for a little bit. 87 00:04:30,999 --> 00:04:34,469 Sharon, you've been watchingcnnfor about... 88 00:04:34,903 --> 00:04:35,735 Eight weeks now. 89 00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:37,939 Don't you want to watch something else? 90 00:04:37,974 --> 00:04:38,807 Sh-Sharon? 91 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,758 Hey, look what the postman brought me! 92 00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:42,277 It's a big brown package from afghanistan. 93 00:04:42,312 --> 00:04:43,144 That's nice. 94 00:04:43,578 --> 00:04:44,411 We sent the afghani kids some dollars, 95 00:04:44,446 --> 00:04:45,747 They must've sent us something cool in return. 96 00:04:45,782 --> 00:04:47,048 Do we have some scissors to cut this open? 97 00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:48,783 Stanley, your mother's a little freaked out right now. 98 00:04:49,217 --> 00:04:50,050 Why don't you go play with 99 00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:52,253 Your big brown package from afghanistan outside. 100 00:04:52,288 --> 00:04:54,422 All right. 101 00:04:56,157 --> 00:04:59,194 Big brown package from afghanistan! 102 00:05:02,664 --> 00:05:03,930 Dude, what's going on? 103 00:05:03,965 --> 00:05:05,266 We got a package from the kids we sent dollars to. 104 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,435 They sent us something back. 105 00:05:08,737 --> 00:05:10,003 Prelim shows negative, sir. 106 00:05:10,038 --> 00:05:11,773 Then we're gonna have to blow it. 107 00:05:11,808 --> 00:05:13,074 Yes, sir! 108 00:05:15,677 --> 00:05:18,279 Ah, this is it, man, it's over! 109 00:05:18,314 --> 00:05:20,882 Tweak, calm down, have some coffee. 110 00:05:26,087 --> 00:05:27,822 Open! 111 00:05:32,594 --> 00:05:33,895 Ah, it's just a goat. 112 00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:36,931 Precious goat. 113 00:05:38,666 --> 00:05:39,968 Hey there, little guy. 114 00:05:40,402 --> 00:05:41,269 Stay away from it! 115 00:05:41,703 --> 00:05:43,438 Terrorists could've given that goat anthrax or smallpox 116 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,739 Before sending it over. 117 00:05:44,774 --> 00:05:46,005 Johnson! 118 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,342 Check the goat for diseases. 119 00:05:47,377 --> 00:05:48,643 Yes, sir! 120 00:05:54,716 --> 00:05:56,017 The goat seems to be clean, sir. 121 00:05:56,052 --> 00:05:57,283 I told you. 122 00:05:57,318 --> 00:05:58,186 Those afghan kids just wanted to give us something back 123 00:05:58,620 --> 00:05:59,487 For giving them $4. 124 00:05:59,921 --> 00:06:01,222 Four dollars for a goat, we got ripped off. 125 00:06:01,257 --> 00:06:02,957 All right, men, this area is secure. 126 00:06:02,992 --> 00:06:04,692 Let's head out. 127 00:06:07,729 --> 00:06:08,995 What are we supposed to do with it? 128 00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:10,765 You're gonna have to take it home with you, kyle. 129 00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:12,500 Dude, my mom won't even let me have a hamster. 130 00:06:12,934 --> 00:06:13,767 Kenny? 131 00:06:13,802 --> 00:06:14,634 No freakin' way, dude. 132 00:06:14,669 --> 00:06:16,187 My parents will never let me keep a goat. 133 00:06:16,222 --> 00:06:17,614 Well, i guess we're gonna have to kill it. 134 00:06:17,649 --> 00:06:18,978 No, we're not going to kill it, cartman. 135 00:06:19,013 --> 00:06:20,528 We'll just have to take the return address 136 00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:22,043 And mail it back to the kids in afghanistan. 137 00:06:22,078 --> 00:06:22,911 Come on, goat. 138 00:06:24,646 --> 00:06:26,381 Uh-Oh, they're closing. 139 00:06:26,416 --> 00:06:27,647 Excuse me, 140 00:06:27,682 --> 00:06:28,983 We wanna overnight this goat to afghanistan, please. 141 00:06:29,417 --> 00:06:30,250 Excuse me? 142 00:06:30,285 --> 00:06:31,985 It's an afghanistan goat, it can't stay here 143 00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,755 Or else it will choke on the sweet air of freedom. 144 00:06:34,189 --> 00:06:34,622 Yeah. 145 00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:35,889 Afghanistan? 146 00:06:35,924 --> 00:06:38,092 I'm sorry, boys, but our planes aren't flying there. 147 00:06:38,127 --> 00:06:38,925 They're not? 148 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,660 The only planes going to afghanistan 149 00:06:40,695 --> 00:06:42,864 Are the military planes over at the base. 150 00:06:42,899 --> 00:06:43,731 I'm sorry. 151 00:06:44,165 --> 00:06:44,998 Oh yeah, the military planes. 152 00:06:45,033 --> 00:06:47,202 Come on, goat, we'll put you on one of them. 153 00:06:49,804 --> 00:06:51,105 Stan, i don't think we're supposed to be 154 00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,207 In the military base. 155 00:06:52,242 --> 00:06:53,239 They might shoot us. 156 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,575 I don't care, we're going. 157 00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:55,877 Don't forget to bring a towel. 158 00:06:55,912 --> 00:06:56,709 Ahh! 159 00:06:56,744 --> 00:06:58,011 Oh, no, not towelie. 160 00:06:58,046 --> 00:07:00,648 When going someplace new, you should always bring a towel. 161 00:07:01,082 --> 00:07:02,166 Okay, thanks, towelie. 162 00:07:02,201 --> 00:07:03,216 You wanna get high? 163 00:07:03,251 --> 00:07:04,517 No, we don't wanna get high! 164 00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:06,721 You mean, you don't want towelie around? 165 00:07:06,756 --> 00:07:07,987 That's right! 166 00:07:08,022 --> 00:07:11,926 So am i to understand that there's been a "towelie ban"? 167 00:07:14,095 --> 00:07:14,963 Ohh! 168 00:07:15,396 --> 00:07:16,264 God damn it, get the hell out of here, towelie! 169 00:07:16,698 --> 00:07:19,300 All right, see ya. 170 00:07:20,602 --> 00:07:21,469 All right, group, 171 00:07:21,903 --> 00:07:23,638 We'll depart for afghanistan in five minutes. 172 00:07:23,673 --> 00:07:25,338 Let's move out! 173 00:07:25,373 --> 00:07:26,639 All right, come on. 174 00:07:26,674 --> 00:07:28,409 We just gotta get the goat on one of these planes. 175 00:07:28,444 --> 00:07:29,242 Isn't this exciting, tony? 176 00:07:29,277 --> 00:07:31,012 We're finally gonna see some action. 177 00:07:31,047 --> 00:07:32,747 Yeah, and i hear that as soon as we land 178 00:07:32,782 --> 00:07:34,048 We get a u.S.O. Show. 179 00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:34,881 We do! 180 00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:37,085 Stevie nicks is going to perform. 181 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,488 Oh, stevie nicks, i love her! 182 00:07:39,523 --> 00:07:41,856 Okay, it's clear, come on. 183 00:07:43,157 --> 00:07:43,990 Hey you! 184 00:07:44,025 --> 00:07:46,628 What the hell do you think you're doing here? 185 00:07:50,098 --> 00:07:51,364 I'm sorry, miss nicks. 186 00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:52,700 Hey, guys, it's stevie nicks. 187 00:07:52,735 --> 00:07:53,967 Oh, wow! 188 00:07:54,002 --> 00:07:55,702 Can i get a picture? 189 00:07:55,737 --> 00:07:57,472 Miss nicks, over here, miss nicks. 190 00:07:58,773 --> 00:08:00,942 Miss nicks, i don't wanna bother you, 191 00:08:01,376 --> 00:08:03,545 But could you sing a quick fleetwood macfor us? 192 00:08:03,580 --> 00:08:04,646 Could you? 193 00:08:04,681 --> 00:08:05,713 Come on! 194 00:08:09,617 --> 00:08:10,919 Yeah, yeah. No way! 195 00:08:11,352 --> 00:08:12,654 Wait 'til i tell my sister about this. 196 00:08:12,689 --> 00:08:13,521 She is gonna flip! 197 00:08:13,955 --> 00:08:15,039 Well, we've gotta get miss nicks 198 00:08:15,074 --> 00:08:16,124 On the plane to afghanistan, guys. 199 00:08:16,159 --> 00:08:17,390 Oh, can we just get a- 200 00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:19,160 I'm sorry, miss nicks isn't answering any more questions. 201 00:08:19,195 --> 00:08:22,196 Oh sure, we understand. Move along. 202 00:08:23,064 --> 00:08:24,799 She looks great. She looks great. 203 00:08:26,534 --> 00:08:28,269 Hey, let's put him on here. 204 00:08:30,004 --> 00:08:31,704 Shh... there we go. 205 00:08:31,739 --> 00:08:33,006 You're gonna be okay, goat. 206 00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:35,174 You'll be back in afghanistan in about 20 hours. 207 00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,945 Stan, if you're finished having your tearful good-Bye with the goat 208 00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:37,812 We'll like to go now, please. 209 00:08:38,246 --> 00:08:39,078 All right. 210 00:08:39,113 --> 00:08:40,848 All right, tango clear, let's head out. 211 00:08:40,883 --> 00:08:42,150 Oh, son of a bitch! 212 00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:43,416 Hey, wait! 213 00:08:43,451 --> 00:08:44,752 There's children in here! 214 00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:51,693 Dude, it looks like we're going to... afghanistan. 215 00:08:52,126 --> 00:08:52,959 Going to afghanistan? 216 00:08:52,994 --> 00:08:54,729 Trapped in a small space for 20 hours- 217 00:08:54,764 --> 00:08:56,030 How could things get any worse? 218 00:08:56,898 --> 00:08:57,765 Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! 219 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,633 Oh, you guys. 220 00:09:14,382 --> 00:09:16,334 Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut. 221 00:09:16,369 --> 00:09:18,251 Welcome to afghanistan, troops. 222 00:09:18,286 --> 00:09:20,888 Get your gear ready and report to the barracks in 0900. 223 00:09:20,923 --> 00:09:21,721 Sir, yes, sir! 224 00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:23,925 Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut... 225 00:09:25,226 --> 00:09:26,527 Oh god, it was horrible! 226 00:09:26,562 --> 00:09:27,395 20 hours! 227 00:09:27,829 --> 00:09:29,564 Oh god, it stinks like shmmt! 228 00:09:29,599 --> 00:09:30,830 What the hell? 229 00:09:30,865 --> 00:09:32,131 Cartman farted in there. 230 00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:33,433 We had to breathe it in for 20 hours. 231 00:09:33,468 --> 00:09:36,070 It didn't smell that bad, you guys are overreacting. 232 00:09:36,105 --> 00:09:38,673 I don't smell any- Oh, oh god! 233 00:09:42,577 --> 00:09:43,409 Oh, whatever. 234 00:09:43,444 --> 00:09:44,711 You son of a bitch, cartman. 235 00:09:44,746 --> 00:09:46,481 You don't fart when you're locked in a small space 236 00:09:46,516 --> 00:09:47,366 With other people! 237 00:09:47,401 --> 00:09:48,181 Oh, i'm sorry! 238 00:09:48,216 --> 00:09:49,517 Next time i'll just ask my fart nicely 239 00:09:49,951 --> 00:09:51,469 If it wouldn't mind staying tucked away for a while! 240 00:09:51,504 --> 00:09:52,987 All right, let's just get the goat back to his home. 241 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,288 We have to find this address. 242 00:10:00,795 --> 00:10:02,096 God, what a craphole, dude! 243 00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:05,531 This is like east denver, jesus christ! 244 00:10:05,566 --> 00:10:07,301 Dude, no wonder terrorists come from places like this. 245 00:10:07,336 --> 00:10:09,037 If i grew up here i'd be pissed off too. 246 00:10:09,072 --> 00:10:11,639 Hey, look, there's a taxi. 247 00:10:14,242 --> 00:10:15,074 Hello. 248 00:10:15,109 --> 00:10:15,977 We need to go here. 249 00:10:19,013 --> 00:10:21,182 God, what is this, the friggin' "flintsones"? 250 00:10:25,086 --> 00:10:25,953 Is this the right house? 251 00:10:25,988 --> 00:10:27,689 I think so. 252 00:10:33,327 --> 00:10:34,594 Uh, hi, we're from america. 253 00:10:34,629 --> 00:10:38,533 Ah, we sent you the dollar, the $4. 254 00:10:38,568 --> 00:10:39,834 You sent us this goat. 255 00:10:39,869 --> 00:10:41,100 Goat? 256 00:10:41,135 --> 00:10:42,835 Here, we don't want it. 257 00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:43,954 Oh, you want something else? 258 00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:45,039 All we had was the goat. 259 00:10:45,473 --> 00:10:46,774 Your country bombed everything else. 260 00:10:46,809 --> 00:10:48,076 No, dude, we're not ungrateful. 261 00:10:48,509 --> 00:10:49,776 It's just none of us can keep the goat. 262 00:10:49,811 --> 00:10:51,546 It was choking on the sweet air of freedom in america, 263 00:10:51,581 --> 00:10:53,715 So we brought it back to your crappy country. 264 00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,415 Oh, and here. 265 00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:58,920 Take this american flag as a gift. 266 00:11:04,992 --> 00:11:06,259 Yay! Yay! Yay! 267 00:11:06,294 --> 00:11:08,463 Hey, what the hell are you doing? 268 00:11:08,896 --> 00:11:10,631 They told us in school everyone but terrorists love america. 269 00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:11,499 Ha! 270 00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:14,500 What did you call us? 271 00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:15,802 Your country is the evil empire. 272 00:11:15,837 --> 00:11:17,970 Your government wants to rule the world! 273 00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:21,476 But your values and spiritualism are in the gutter. 274 00:11:21,511 --> 00:11:22,742 Then why did you send us a goat? 275 00:11:22,777 --> 00:11:24,512 Because in afghanistan we have pride. 276 00:11:24,547 --> 00:11:25,379 If you send us something 277 00:11:25,813 --> 00:11:26,681 We must send something in return. 278 00:11:27,115 --> 00:11:29,283 It doesn't mean we don't still hate you. 279 00:11:29,318 --> 00:11:31,018 Now, get out of here! 280 00:11:31,452 --> 00:11:33,586 Hey, hey, open the door. 281 00:11:33,621 --> 00:11:35,790 I told you, "jawas" have no hearts. 282 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:36,622 Jawas? 283 00:11:36,657 --> 00:11:37,924 You know, sand people. 284 00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:39,260 How come they hate america so much? 285 00:11:39,295 --> 00:11:40,579 What the hell did we do? 286 00:11:40,614 --> 00:11:41,828 Well, we tried, dude. 287 00:11:41,863 --> 00:11:43,563 If anyone else in this craphole hates americans 288 00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:45,333 We better just leave the goat and get back to the plane. 289 00:11:45,368 --> 00:11:47,068 All right. 290 00:11:50,104 --> 00:11:50,972 Oh look, he's following us. 291 00:11:51,007 --> 00:11:51,804 It's so sad. 292 00:11:51,839 --> 00:11:53,141 God, i hate you so much, stan. 293 00:11:53,176 --> 00:11:54,008 What? 294 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:03,551 Howdy. 295 00:12:03,985 --> 00:12:06,804 Ah... greetings from canada. 296 00:12:06,839 --> 00:12:09,589 Well, boys, it's "aboot" time 297 00:12:09,624 --> 00:12:10,925 We get to our "hoose" in canada, isn't it? 298 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,191 Hey, what the hell are you talking about?! 299 00:12:12,226 --> 00:12:13,961 I'm not a god damn canadian and neither are you! 300 00:12:13,996 --> 00:12:15,263 Oh, cartman, you stupid asshole. 301 00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:24,806 ...osama bin laden! 302 00:12:28,276 --> 00:12:29,108 Good job, fat-Ass. 303 00:12:29,143 --> 00:12:30,444 Dude, don't call me a canadian. 304 00:12:46,494 --> 00:12:48,229 You gotta listen to me, we're not spies! 305 00:12:49,964 --> 00:12:51,265 Look, i think i can explain everything. 306 00:12:51,699 --> 00:12:53,868 See, my friend stan here is an oversensitive animal lover. 307 00:12:54,302 --> 00:12:55,603 He got a boner for this goat. 308 00:13:00,374 --> 00:13:02,543 Ooh, a la bulla bulla bulla. 309 00:13:02,977 --> 00:13:03,845 Oh crap, it's him! 310 00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:07,531 A mulla mulla mulla? 311 00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:09,882 Mulla hak a mulla. 312 00:13:09,917 --> 00:13:11,652 Oh, dude, it's called deodorant, okay, 313 00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:13,188 It's not expensive. 314 00:13:13,223 --> 00:13:14,689 Hakka maha mallah! 315 00:13:27,268 --> 00:13:29,870 Ooh, a tukka tukka mulla mulla. 316 00:13:29,905 --> 00:13:32,273 America a booga booga booga. 317 00:13:32,308 --> 00:13:34,642 Hakka hakka durka durka. 318 00:13:35,943 --> 00:13:38,980 Hakka hakka durka durka! 319 00:13:39,015 --> 00:13:41,148 And... cut! 320 00:13:45,486 --> 00:13:48,522 Dude, these people are insane. 321 00:13:49,824 --> 00:13:50,656 ...as more and more cases 322 00:13:50,691 --> 00:13:52,426 Of terrorist-Related aids continues to grow. 323 00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:53,693 And this just in: 324 00:13:53,728 --> 00:13:55,680 The taliban has apparently taken 325 00:13:55,715 --> 00:13:57,597 American civilians as hostages. 326 00:13:57,632 --> 00:13:59,800 The taliban has just released this videotape 327 00:13:59,835 --> 00:14:01,500 In which it is clearly visible 328 00:14:01,535 --> 00:14:03,921 That they have indeed captured stevie nicks. 329 00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:06,307 Miss nicks appears to be in good spirits, 330 00:14:06,342 --> 00:14:08,042 Though her whereabouts are unknown. 331 00:14:08,077 --> 00:14:09,343 Hey, sh-Sharon, 332 00:14:09,777 --> 00:14:12,380 Have you seen stan in the last couple days? 333 00:14:12,415 --> 00:14:14,115 Yes, i just saw him. 334 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,815 Oh, okay. 335 00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:17,116 With stevie nicks in captivity 336 00:14:17,151 --> 00:14:18,886 The other members of fleetwood mac have been hidden 337 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,489 So the taliban can't get to them as well. 338 00:14:21,524 --> 00:14:23,658 They... took stevie nicks? 339 00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:24,490 Bastards. 340 00:14:24,525 --> 00:14:26,694 Heartless, gutless bastards! 341 00:14:26,729 --> 00:14:27,561 All right, men. 342 00:14:27,995 --> 00:14:29,730 Grab your guns and your bibles. 343 00:14:29,765 --> 00:14:31,465 We're going to get miss nicks back. 344 00:14:31,899 --> 00:14:33,165 Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! 345 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,467 The taliban's video also shows 346 00:14:34,502 --> 00:14:37,972 What appears to be four american children in captivity, 347 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,273 Though they could just be french. 348 00:14:39,707 --> 00:14:40,791 We have to help them. 349 00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:41,841 They are not the spies. 350 00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:44,045 They came to give us our goat back. 351 00:14:44,478 --> 00:14:45,745 Screw them! They're evil americans. 352 00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:48,816 I know, but you if we don't help the innocent ones 353 00:14:48,851 --> 00:14:50,985 Then we are no better than the americans are. 354 00:14:51,419 --> 00:14:52,685 Help americans? 355 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:53,986 That doesn't make sense. 356 00:14:54,021 --> 00:14:56,190 Dude, we are speaking english right now. 357 00:14:56,225 --> 00:14:57,925 Does that make sense?! 358 00:14:58,793 --> 00:15:00,094 All right, let's go. 359 00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:11,872 Oh, jihad jihad. 360 00:15:18,813 --> 00:15:19,680 Ooh, ooh! 361 00:15:20,114 --> 00:15:21,380 America, hakka hakka! 362 00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:24,452 Dursha, durpa durpa durpa! 363 00:15:25,753 --> 00:15:28,789 Boola boola booga wooga hagga. 364 00:15:31,826 --> 00:15:33,526 Gurba de durka and america! 365 00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:35,730 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 366 00:15:36,163 --> 00:15:37,464 Shh, we've come to save you. 367 00:15:37,499 --> 00:15:38,766 You but i thought you hate us. 368 00:15:38,801 --> 00:15:40,067 We do. 369 00:15:40,501 --> 00:15:41,802 Durkka durkka... 370 00:15:43,971 --> 00:15:44,804 Cartman, where are you going? 371 00:15:44,839 --> 00:15:46,574 I'm gonna go take care of this prick. 372 00:15:46,609 --> 00:15:47,406 Cartman, he's crazy. 373 00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,141 He's not crazy, he's an idiot. 374 00:15:49,176 --> 00:15:50,911 I know how to deal with these people. 375 00:15:50,946 --> 00:15:51,779 A flibbidy flabbidy floo! 376 00:15:52,213 --> 00:15:53,045 Jihad, jihad! 377 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,347 Hey... 378 00:15:54,382 --> 00:15:55,900 What's up, bin laden? 379 00:15:55,935 --> 00:15:57,110 Aruba duba duba! 380 00:15:57,145 --> 00:15:58,285 Durba durba hak! 381 00:15:58,719 --> 00:16:00,021 Uh-Oh, 5:30, time to pray! 382 00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:01,773 Ah la la... 383 00:16:01,808 --> 00:16:03,456 Tabba hagga? 384 00:16:03,491 --> 00:16:06,058 Allah allah allah. 385 00:16:06,093 --> 00:16:07,395 Ala hagga durpa, durpa durpa haggalah. 386 00:16:11,732 --> 00:16:13,034 Uh-Oh! 387 00:16:18,239 --> 00:16:19,106 We will have to be quick. 388 00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:20,841 The americans are attacking! 389 00:16:20,876 --> 00:16:22,143 Where do we go? 390 00:16:22,178 --> 00:16:23,878 Get down! 391 00:16:32,119 --> 00:16:36,023 You, murdering american! 392 00:16:36,457 --> 00:16:38,192 Hey, shut up, kid, america didn't start this war. 393 00:16:38,626 --> 00:16:40,361 America did start this war. 394 00:16:40,795 --> 00:16:42,495 They started it years ago 395 00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:46,000 When they put military bases on muslim holy lands. 396 00:17:00,748 --> 00:17:01,615 Ramadan! 397 00:17:02,049 --> 00:17:02,917 Hey, look, an infidel! 398 00:17:02,952 --> 00:17:04,652 Ooh, pedro kabob! 399 00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,099 So that's what this is all about. 400 00:17:18,134 --> 00:17:21,135 Ishtar fatwah open sesame! 401 00:17:22,436 --> 00:17:23,737 Ooh, tastes like chicken. 402 00:17:23,772 --> 00:17:25,056 The ass of a chicken! 403 00:17:25,091 --> 00:17:26,340 Toolah foo kabob! 404 00:17:26,375 --> 00:17:28,040 Woo hoo! 405 00:17:28,075 --> 00:17:29,376 We're coming, miss nicks, 406 00:17:29,411 --> 00:17:30,244 Hang on! 407 00:17:32,847 --> 00:17:34,582 All right, i've had just about enough of this. 408 00:17:34,617 --> 00:17:36,282 They told us in school, and on tv, 409 00:17:36,317 --> 00:17:38,919 That most people in afghanistan and pakistan like america. 410 00:17:38,954 --> 00:17:40,186 And you believe it? 411 00:17:40,221 --> 00:17:41,522 It is not just the taliban that hates america. 412 00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:44,090 Over a third of the world hates america. 413 00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:46,293 But why, why does a third of the world hate us? 414 00:17:46,328 --> 00:17:47,595 Because you don't realize 415 00:17:48,028 --> 00:17:49,330 That a third of the world hates you. 416 00:17:49,365 --> 00:17:50,648 That doesn't make sense. 417 00:17:50,683 --> 00:17:51,932 You guys are just buttholes. 418 00:17:52,366 --> 00:17:53,667 You're buttholes! 419 00:17:53,702 --> 00:17:54,969 You're buttholes! 420 00:17:56,704 --> 00:17:58,005 Yoo hoo. 421 00:18:01,475 --> 00:18:02,776 A dukka dukka dukka. 422 00:18:05,813 --> 00:18:07,114 Dukka dukka dukka doo! 423 00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:26,416 Ooh, bella, bella, falafel. 424 00:18:26,451 --> 00:18:29,236 Mi amore, fatwah, fatwah. 425 00:18:36,177 --> 00:18:38,345 Ah, vino, mi fatwah. 426 00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,080 J'al une fatwah. 427 00:18:47,454 --> 00:18:49,190 You really think that your civilization is better than ours? 428 00:18:49,225 --> 00:18:50,925 You people play games by killing animals 429 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,757 And oppress women. 430 00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:53,058 It's better than a civilization 431 00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:54,395 That's spends its time watching millionaires 432 00:18:54,828 --> 00:18:56,564 Walk down the red carpet at theemmys. 433 00:18:56,599 --> 00:18:59,166 He's got us there, dude. 434 00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:03,070 I got her, i got stevie nicks. 435 00:19:06,106 --> 00:19:07,373 There you are! Where have you been? 436 00:19:07,408 --> 00:19:09,143 We have another anti- American video to make. 437 00:19:09,577 --> 00:19:11,745 Oh, video durka? 438 00:19:12,613 --> 00:19:14,348 Hurry, get into wardrobe! 439 00:19:15,649 --> 00:19:18,252 Oh, hurry up, will you, hurry! 440 00:19:19,553 --> 00:19:20,854 Oh, you look marvelous, darling. 441 00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:22,121 Hakka hamma hamma. 442 00:19:22,156 --> 00:19:24,325 Come on, the cameras are ready. 443 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,192 All right, there we go. 444 00:19:25,227 --> 00:19:26,458 Let's roll cameras. 445 00:19:26,493 --> 00:19:27,795 Oh, and here's your microphone. 446 00:19:27,830 --> 00:19:32,566 Oh, america a durka durka. 447 00:19:35,169 --> 00:19:36,687 Uh-Oh. 448 00:19:36,722 --> 00:19:38,205 Waa! 449 00:19:42,977 --> 00:19:45,145 We've done it, the taliban is destroyed! 450 00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,845 Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! 451 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,616 Wow, i guess cartman really did take care of him. 452 00:19:48,651 --> 00:19:49,483 Blh-Blh-Blh-Blh! 453 00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:52,086 Terrorists is the craziest peoples! 454 00:19:55,122 --> 00:19:56,388 Oh! 455 00:19:56,423 --> 00:19:57,690 I got him, i got him! 456 00:19:57,725 --> 00:19:59,460 Well, looks like the taliban and bin laden 457 00:19:59,495 --> 00:20:00,726 Are finally out of power. 458 00:20:00,761 --> 00:20:02,496 Yeah, you don't need us anymore. 459 00:20:02,531 --> 00:20:03,762 Hey, wait a minute. 460 00:20:03,797 --> 00:20:05,315 Y'know, you guys should know one thing. 461 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:06,799 Most people in america are good people 462 00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:08,569 Who just try to live day by day like you guys do. 463 00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:09,870 Maybe if you took some time 464 00:20:10,304 --> 00:20:12,039 To see all the great things about our country 465 00:20:12,074 --> 00:20:13,774 You'd see we're not so different after all. 466 00:20:13,809 --> 00:20:14,642 Yeah. 467 00:20:15,075 --> 00:20:17,678 That's fine, but we still hate you. 468 00:20:18,979 --> 00:20:19,847 Oh... 469 00:20:20,281 --> 00:20:22,449 Well, i guess maybe some day 470 00:20:22,484 --> 00:20:24,618 We can learn to hate you, too. 471 00:20:24,653 --> 00:20:28,088 Maybe, in time. 472 00:20:28,522 --> 00:20:29,823 I'm confused. 473 00:20:33,961 --> 00:20:35,227 Great job, troops. 474 00:20:35,262 --> 00:20:37,865 Once again we have killed our enemies! 475 00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:39,565 Hooray! We sure did! 476 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,335 The world is now safe thanks to you. 477 00:20:41,769 --> 00:20:42,636 And so now, as promised, 478 00:20:43,070 --> 00:20:46,974 Here is fleetwood mac with stevie nicks! 479 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,614 ♪ Just like the one-Winged bird♪ 480 00:20:55,649 --> 00:20:57,384 ♪ Sings the song sounds like she's singing♪ 481 00:20:58,686 --> 00:20:59,987 ♪ Baby, said♪ 482 00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:06,060 Come on, let's go get to the plane. 483 00:21:13,434 --> 00:21:14,735 Dude, i almost thought those afghani kids 484 00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:16,904 Talked you into not liking america. 485 00:21:16,939 --> 00:21:17,736 No, dude. 486 00:21:17,771 --> 00:21:19,073 America may have some problems, 487 00:21:19,506 --> 00:21:21,206 But it's our home, our team. 488 00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:22,508 And if you don't wanna root for your team 489 00:21:22,543 --> 00:21:24,712 Then you should get the hell out of the stadium. 490 00:21:24,747 --> 00:21:26,845 Yeah. 491 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,049 Go america. 492 00:21:29,084 --> 00:21:31,183 Go broncos. 493 00:21:31,218 --> 00:21:32,086 Yeah, go broncos. 494 00:21:32,121 --> 00:21:33,387 Yeah. 495 00:21:35,122 --> 00:21:37,291 Captioning made possible by comedy central 496 00:21:39,893 --> 00:21:42,496 Captioned by soundwriters?