1 00:00:05,750 --> 00:00:08,353 Captioning made possible by comedy central 2 00:00:08,388 --> 00:00:09,888 I'm going down to south park 3 00:00:09,923 --> 00:00:11,524 Gonna have myself a time 4 00:00:11,559 --> 00:00:13,090 Friendly faces everywhere 5 00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:14,860 Humble folks without temptation 6 00:00:14,895 --> 00:00:16,395 Going down to south park 7 00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:18,030 Gonna leave my woes behind 8 00:00:18,065 --> 00:00:19,631 Ample parking day or night 9 00:00:20,065 --> 00:00:21,366 People spouting "howdy neighbor" 10 00:00:21,401 --> 00:00:23,118 Headin' on up to south park 11 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:24,836 Gonna see if i can't unwind 12 00:00:28,306 --> 00:00:29,174 So come on down to south park 13 00:00:29,608 --> 00:00:31,776 And meet some friends of mine 14 00:00:35,013 --> 00:00:37,182 Okay now, lift your chin a little. 15 00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:38,917 Look right here, right here. 16 00:00:38,952 --> 00:00:40,218 Hey, where's my smile? 17 00:00:40,652 --> 00:00:42,387 Come on, i bet you got a smile for me. 18 00:00:42,422 --> 00:00:44,122 I'm starting to see a smile. 19 00:00:44,157 --> 00:00:45,388 There it is. 20 00:00:45,423 --> 00:00:47,375 Okay, great, next! 21 00:00:47,410 --> 00:00:49,327 I didn't smile. 22 00:00:51,062 --> 00:00:52,329 I hate picture day at school! 23 00:00:52,364 --> 00:00:53,630 It's always some gay-Ass photographer 24 00:00:53,665 --> 00:00:56,268 With some gay-Ass backdrop of new england. 25 00:00:57,135 --> 00:00:57,968 Hang on a second. 26 00:00:58,003 --> 00:00:59,304 My mom said to make sure i look good this time 27 00:00:59,738 --> 00:01:02,340 In the school pictures. 28 00:01:03,642 --> 00:01:05,810 Okay, smile. 29 00:01:06,678 --> 00:01:08,413 Okay, next. 30 00:01:09,281 --> 00:01:10,148 Did you go yet? No. 31 00:01:10,582 --> 00:01:11,414 This is taking forever. 32 00:01:11,449 --> 00:01:14,052 You guys, you guys, this is so funny! 33 00:01:14,087 --> 00:01:14,885 What, cartman? 34 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:15,787 Dude, check it out. 35 00:01:16,221 --> 00:01:17,956 For picture day, kenny got into his parka backwards 36 00:01:17,991 --> 00:01:19,691 So that his ass shows through his hood, look! 37 00:01:19,726 --> 00:01:21,426 Kenny, come over here. 38 00:01:26,198 --> 00:01:27,499 It isn't that funny, cartman. 39 00:01:27,534 --> 00:01:28,384 Yes, it is. 40 00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:29,234 Next in line. 41 00:01:29,668 --> 00:01:31,403 Come on, let's keep it moving, kids. 42 00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:33,138 Don't listen to that jew, kenny, 43 00:01:33,173 --> 00:01:34,838 It's totally funny. 44 00:01:34,873 --> 00:01:36,174 Take off your hat, please. 45 00:01:36,209 --> 00:01:37,493 But i never take off my hat. 46 00:01:37,528 --> 00:01:38,742 Come on now, i bet your parents 47 00:01:38,777 --> 00:01:40,078 Want a picture of you looking natural. 48 00:01:40,512 --> 00:01:41,379 Thisishow i look natural. 49 00:01:41,813 --> 00:01:43,548 Kyle, we're taking pictures without hats today! 50 00:01:43,982 --> 00:01:45,283 Crap. 51 00:01:46,585 --> 00:01:47,452 Smile! 52 00:01:47,886 --> 00:01:49,404 Come on, where's that smile? 53 00:01:49,439 --> 00:01:50,922 Is it gonna kill ya to smile? 54 00:01:50,957 --> 00:01:51,790 I see a smile. 55 00:01:53,091 --> 00:01:53,959 Next! 56 00:01:54,392 --> 00:01:55,694 Gay-Ass. 57 00:01:56,561 --> 00:02:00,031 Very nice. Okay, last one. 58 00:02:01,766 --> 00:02:03,068 Uh-Oh. 59 00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:05,670 Okay, have a seat, young man. 60 00:02:10,008 --> 00:02:11,274 Okay, looking great. 61 00:02:11,309 --> 00:02:13,009 Now, where's that smile? 62 00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:15,647 Come on, give me a nice wide smile. 63 00:02:15,682 --> 00:02:17,182 Wider. 64 00:02:17,217 --> 00:02:18,648 Perfect. 65 00:02:18,683 --> 00:02:19,985 How long 'til we get the pictures back? 66 00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:21,251 Should be about four days. 67 00:02:21,286 --> 00:02:23,888 Four days, oh man, i can't wait that long! 68 00:02:27,792 --> 00:02:30,360 Come on, come on, come on, come on... 69 00:02:30,395 --> 00:02:32,998 All right, class, i have your school photos to hand out. 70 00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:34,264 Yes, yes! 71 00:02:34,299 --> 00:02:35,817 Most of them are very nice. 72 00:02:35,852 --> 00:02:37,300 But, apparently one of you 73 00:02:37,335 --> 00:02:39,504 Thinks it's fun to spoil their school pictures 74 00:02:39,938 --> 00:02:41,204 And thinks he's a comedian. 75 00:02:41,239 --> 00:02:42,974 That person will be spending the afternoon 76 00:02:43,009 --> 00:02:44,674 In the principal's office. 77 00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:45,542 Hey, that's b- Llshit! 78 00:02:45,577 --> 00:02:46,878 School photos aren't for joking around, 79 00:02:47,312 --> 00:02:49,047 So you aren't getting your photos back, 80 00:02:49,082 --> 00:02:50,747 Butters! 81 00:02:50,782 --> 00:02:52,951 Me? But i didn't do nothin'. 82 00:02:52,986 --> 00:02:53,818 For the rest of you 83 00:02:54,252 --> 00:02:55,553 I think your pictures turned out very nicely. 84 00:02:55,588 --> 00:02:56,421 But- 85 00:02:56,855 --> 00:02:58,156 But hey, wait a minute. 86 00:02:58,191 --> 00:02:59,891 Let me see! 87 00:03:00,325 --> 00:03:02,494 But teacher, i didn't mean to look stupid in my picture, 88 00:03:02,529 --> 00:03:04,663 Honest. 89 00:03:10,302 --> 00:03:11,169 Dude, dude, check it out. 90 00:03:11,603 --> 00:03:12,904 This is the sweetest thing i've ever done. 91 00:03:12,939 --> 00:03:14,170 You'veever done? 92 00:03:14,205 --> 00:03:16,374 Look how the crack is centered right in the middle! 93 00:03:16,808 --> 00:03:18,508 Eric, calm down, 94 00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:19,809 I'm trying to yell at butters. 95 00:03:19,844 --> 00:03:21,978 Oh yeah, i'm sorry, miss chokson-Rocks. 96 00:03:22,013 --> 00:03:24,616 You know very well my name isn't chokson-Rocks, 97 00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:26,316 It's choksondik! 98 00:03:26,351 --> 00:03:28,520 Say it right or you can go to the principal with butters. 99 00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:30,255 I'm sorry, miss choksondik. 100 00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:31,990 I tried to make a good picture, honest. 101 00:03:32,424 --> 00:03:34,592 Your mother is waiting for you in the principal's office. 102 00:03:34,627 --> 00:03:35,425 My mom? 103 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:36,978 Oh, sweet jesus. 104 00:03:37,013 --> 00:03:38,461 Oh, oh my god. 105 00:03:38,496 --> 00:03:40,665 More people have to see this picture, you guys. 106 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,966 I've gotta to put it on the internet. 107 00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:43,233 No, wait. 108 00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:46,304 Kenny, i just had the greatest idea, ever. 109 00:03:50,642 --> 00:03:52,377 Welcome to south park milk company, 110 00:03:52,412 --> 00:03:53,479 Can i help you. 111 00:03:53,514 --> 00:03:54,511 Oh yes, hello. 112 00:03:54,546 --> 00:03:56,498 I am helping out a family who has a missing child 113 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:58,450 And i was wondering if you could print his photo 114 00:03:58,485 --> 00:04:00,618 On your milk cartons? 115 00:04:00,653 --> 00:04:01,885 Oh, of course. 116 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,655 Printing those photos on our milk really does help. 117 00:04:04,089 --> 00:04:05,607 Do you have the photo with you? 118 00:04:05,642 --> 00:04:07,125 Yes, i have it right h'nyah. 119 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,426 Okay, great. 120 00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:09,728 We'll print it immediately. 121 00:04:09,763 --> 00:04:11,029 You will? 122 00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:14,933 Thank you for your help. 123 00:04:14,968 --> 00:04:15,765 Sure. 124 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,102 If i could just get a description of the child 125 00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:18,837 To print underneath the photo. 126 00:04:18,872 --> 00:04:20,138 Description... oh yes. 127 00:04:20,572 --> 00:04:22,307 He has blonde hair. 128 00:04:22,741 --> 00:04:25,343 And a brown eye. 129 00:04:27,512 --> 00:04:29,030 A brown eye. 130 00:04:29,065 --> 00:04:30,548 Okay, brown eye. 131 00:04:30,982 --> 00:04:33,585 And big, rosy cheeks. 132 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,452 Full cheeks. 133 00:04:36,621 --> 00:04:37,887 Full cheeks! 134 00:04:37,922 --> 00:04:40,525 Winking brown eye, brown eye's winking. 135 00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:43,995 Ms. Hamilton was the fourth person 136 00:04:44,429 --> 00:04:46,164 To be run over by a motorcycle this week, 137 00:04:46,598 --> 00:04:48,767 Leaving a city to ponder, "who will be next?" 138 00:04:50,935 --> 00:04:51,803 Hello. 139 00:04:53,972 --> 00:04:55,273 You guys, you guys... 140 00:04:55,707 --> 00:04:57,008 Hello? 141 00:05:00,044 --> 00:05:02,213 Cartman? 142 00:05:02,647 --> 00:05:05,215 Hurry. 143 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,117 What's he want? 144 00:05:06,551 --> 00:05:08,286 I don't know, let's go see. 145 00:05:13,491 --> 00:05:15,226 Why'd you call us? 146 00:05:15,261 --> 00:05:16,762 Come on, come on. 147 00:05:16,797 --> 00:05:18,263 It's so sweet. 148 00:05:18,696 --> 00:05:20,432 You guys, stan, here, this is so sweet. 149 00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:22,167 God damn it, cartman, what? 150 00:05:28,673 --> 00:05:30,842 You put kenny's picture on a milk carton? 151 00:05:30,877 --> 00:05:32,143 Look at the descriptions. 152 00:05:32,577 --> 00:05:33,445 Brown eye! 153 00:05:36,047 --> 00:05:36,915 That isn't funny, cartman. 154 00:05:37,348 --> 00:05:38,650 Oh, it's so completely funny. 155 00:05:39,083 --> 00:05:40,818 It's totally funny. 156 00:05:40,853 --> 00:05:42,519 No, it's not, cartman. 157 00:05:42,554 --> 00:05:43,855 You know, there really are couples out there 158 00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:45,590 Who are missing children. 159 00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:46,856 No there aren't. 160 00:05:46,891 --> 00:05:49,494 Jesus, grow up, you guys. 161 00:05:59,904 --> 00:06:01,639 Oh my god... 162 00:06:01,674 --> 00:06:03,339 Oh my god! 163 00:06:03,374 --> 00:06:05,543 Steven, steven, come quick! 164 00:06:05,578 --> 00:06:07,079 What is it, martha? 165 00:06:07,114 --> 00:06:08,931 Look, it's him. 166 00:06:08,966 --> 00:06:10,748 It's... our son. 167 00:06:10,783 --> 00:06:12,484 Our son?! 168 00:06:17,155 --> 00:06:18,890 And so that's when i called out to my husband. 169 00:06:19,324 --> 00:06:21,493 I just knew the boy pictured on your milk carton 170 00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:24,095 Was our little tommy. 171 00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:25,830 Yes, i see. 172 00:06:26,264 --> 00:06:28,867 But the child on the milk carton was reported missing, 173 00:06:28,902 --> 00:06:30,168 Not found. 174 00:06:30,602 --> 00:06:31,469 We realize that. 175 00:06:31,903 --> 00:06:33,855 But we just thought that maybe someone else 176 00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:35,716 Had found tommy and then lost him again. 177 00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:37,514 We're pretty certain that it's our boy, 178 00:06:37,549 --> 00:06:39,714 Considering his physical appearance. 179 00:06:39,749 --> 00:06:41,880 Martha and i have the same condition. 180 00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:43,580 Right. 181 00:06:43,615 --> 00:06:44,916 You may not have realized it, 182 00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:48,386 But we actually have buttocks where our heads should be. 183 00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:49,921 Really? 184 00:06:49,956 --> 00:06:51,387 Yes. 185 00:06:51,422 --> 00:06:52,724 Steve and i have a condition called 186 00:06:53,157 --> 00:06:54,459 "Torsonic polarity syndrome". 187 00:06:54,893 --> 00:06:57,495 It's a birth defect that's passed on genetically. 188 00:06:57,929 --> 00:07:00,532 Over 11 people worldwide suffer from t.P.S. 189 00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:03,568 Mmm, mmm, that's amazing. 190 00:07:04,002 --> 00:07:05,737 Martha and i were lucky enough to meet each other 191 00:07:05,772 --> 00:07:07,906 At a t.P.S. Convention in france. 192 00:07:08,339 --> 00:07:10,508 So, ah, do you have heads 193 00:07:10,942 --> 00:07:12,677 Down where your rear end should be? 194 00:07:12,712 --> 00:07:13,978 No, no, don't be silly. 195 00:07:14,412 --> 00:07:17,448 You see, with t.P.S. The birth defect is on the exterior only. 196 00:07:17,483 --> 00:07:19,617 Behind this we still have all our vital head organs- 197 00:07:19,652 --> 00:07:21,786 Tongue, eyes, nasal passages. 198 00:07:21,821 --> 00:07:23,521 Well, mr. And mrs... 199 00:07:23,556 --> 00:07:25,057 Uh, thompson. 200 00:07:25,092 --> 00:07:26,523 Thompson. 201 00:07:26,558 --> 00:07:28,726 I'll contact the young boy who gave me the photo 202 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,895 And perhaps we can all visit him together. 203 00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:32,161 Oh, wonderful! 204 00:07:32,196 --> 00:07:34,365 Steven, we're going to see tommy again. 205 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,233 Now, martha, 206 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,402 What did i say about getting your hopes up? 207 00:07:37,437 --> 00:07:40,004 You're right, you're right. 208 00:07:41,739 --> 00:07:45,643 Okay, cartman, what do you want this time? 209 00:07:45,678 --> 00:07:46,945 Oh, you guys, you guys. 210 00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:48,211 Oh my god. 211 00:07:48,246 --> 00:07:49,981 Okay, okay, so get this, get this. 212 00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:51,681 The milk company calls me, right? 213 00:07:51,716 --> 00:07:54,752 They call me and say that two people from wisconsin 214 00:07:54,787 --> 00:07:56,921 Saw the picture of kenny on the milk carton 215 00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:59,090 And they think it's their kid. 216 00:08:02,126 --> 00:08:03,428 Dude, that's not funny if they're missing their son. 217 00:08:03,861 --> 00:08:05,128 No, no, no, no. 218 00:08:05,163 --> 00:08:06,464 Because apparently these two people 219 00:08:06,898 --> 00:08:09,067 Also kind of look like they have butts 220 00:08:09,102 --> 00:08:11,235 Where their heads should be. 221 00:08:13,404 --> 00:08:14,272 Nah-Uh! 222 00:08:14,706 --> 00:08:15,538 Oh yes! 223 00:08:15,573 --> 00:08:16,839 And the best part is, 224 00:08:16,874 --> 00:08:18,610 They're coming here to my house. 225 00:08:19,043 --> 00:08:20,345 And it is gonna be so funny! 226 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,815 Oh jeez, that's probably them now. 227 00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:25,550 Okay, you guys, just play it good. 228 00:08:25,585 --> 00:08:28,152 Just, shh, no, you guys. 229 00:08:31,189 --> 00:08:33,358 Okay, okay- Shh... 230 00:08:36,394 --> 00:08:40,732 Hello, we're mr. And mrs. Thompson. 231 00:08:45,503 --> 00:08:46,371 Eh. 232 00:08:47,672 --> 00:08:48,973 Holy crap, dude. 233 00:08:49,008 --> 00:08:49,841 No way! 234 00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:55,046 We understand you've seen our son. 235 00:08:59,817 --> 00:09:01,552 Ah, is this the right address? 236 00:09:01,587 --> 00:09:03,252 I, i don't... 237 00:09:03,287 --> 00:09:05,023 Cartman, where are you going? 238 00:09:08,059 --> 00:09:11,095 Excuse me, do you boys know anything about this? 239 00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,197 Ah, uhh... 240 00:09:12,232 --> 00:09:13,229 Oh boy. 241 00:09:13,264 --> 00:09:14,565 Look, if you want an explanation 242 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,867 You better go to kenny's house. 243 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,168 Yeah, he lives about four houses away 244 00:09:17,602 --> 00:09:18,469 On the bad side of town. 245 00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:20,638 Oh, thank you, thank you! 246 00:09:21,506 --> 00:09:22,338 Well? 247 00:09:22,373 --> 00:09:24,542 They said to inquire four houses down. 248 00:09:24,577 --> 00:09:26,277 Let's hurry! 249 00:09:27,145 --> 00:09:28,446 Cartman, what the hell you doing? 250 00:09:28,481 --> 00:09:29,747 Yeah, you missed them turning around. 251 00:09:29,782 --> 00:09:31,482 You guys, something's wrong. 252 00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:32,350 What? 253 00:09:32,784 --> 00:09:35,386 I think i just saw the funniest thing i'll ever see. 254 00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:37,989 And i think... i blew a funny fuse. 255 00:09:38,423 --> 00:09:39,689 Blew a funny fuse? 256 00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:42,326 It was just too much and my sense of humor overloaded. 257 00:09:42,361 --> 00:09:45,363 I don't think anything will ever be funny again. 258 00:09:45,797 --> 00:09:48,833 Oh god, what have i done? 259 00:09:50,568 --> 00:09:52,268 You mean they both have butts instead of heads? 260 00:09:52,303 --> 00:09:54,038 Yeah, dude, we'll show you, they're over at kenny's. 261 00:09:54,073 --> 00:09:54,871 How do they eat? 262 00:09:54,906 --> 00:09:56,207 How the hell should we know? 263 00:09:56,242 --> 00:09:57,309 Butters, hey, butters! 264 00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:58,376 You gotta check this out! 265 00:09:58,810 --> 00:09:59,677 What? 266 00:10:00,111 --> 00:10:01,195 You gotta come to kenny's house with us. 267 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:02,280 There's these two people who have asses 268 00:10:02,315 --> 00:10:03,581 Where their heads should be. 269 00:10:03,616 --> 00:10:04,847 Ah, i can't fellas. 270 00:10:04,882 --> 00:10:06,617 I'm grounded for looking stupid in my school picture. 271 00:10:06,652 --> 00:10:08,153 But, dude, you gotta see, it's hysterical. 272 00:10:08,188 --> 00:10:09,654 Butters can't come out and play, boys. 273 00:10:10,088 --> 00:10:12,039 Hethinks it's funny to look like a jackass 274 00:10:12,074 --> 00:10:13,991 In his school pictures that i have to pay for. 275 00:10:14,026 --> 00:10:15,258 But i told you, mom, 276 00:10:15,293 --> 00:10:17,028 I didn't mean to look like a jackass. 277 00:10:17,063 --> 00:10:18,294 It just happened. 278 00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:19,630 You made a goofy face. 279 00:10:19,665 --> 00:10:20,463 No! 280 00:10:20,498 --> 00:10:21,799 That's just what i look like. 281 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,499 See? 282 00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:26,571 Don't you make that face at me young man. 283 00:10:27,004 --> 00:10:28,740 I'm not making a face, mom! 284 00:10:29,173 --> 00:10:30,440 Stop it! 285 00:10:30,475 --> 00:10:32,210 Come on, we wanna see the ass people. 286 00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:33,944 All right. 287 00:10:33,979 --> 00:10:35,211 Fine, butters, 288 00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:36,981 If you don't wanna stop making that stupid face at me 289 00:10:37,016 --> 00:10:39,150 You can just stay in your room for another week. 290 00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:40,451 Another week? 291 00:10:40,885 --> 00:10:43,054 I hate my stupid face. 292 00:10:44,789 --> 00:10:46,489 Okay, eric, as your counselor, 293 00:10:46,524 --> 00:10:50,428 I want you to feel comfortable talking about anything, m'kay. 294 00:10:50,862 --> 00:10:53,464 Mr. Mackey, is it possible that you can see something so funny 295 00:10:53,499 --> 00:10:55,598 That it ruins your sense of humor forever? 296 00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:58,236 Well, i can't think of anything that would bethatfunny. 297 00:10:58,669 --> 00:10:59,936 Two people with asses for heads. 298 00:10:59,971 --> 00:11:02,573 Ever since i saw them i can't laugh at anything. 299 00:11:02,608 --> 00:11:03,406 Oh, i see. 300 00:11:03,441 --> 00:11:05,610 Well, what did you used to think was funny? 301 00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:06,911 You know, all the usual stuff- 302 00:11:07,345 --> 00:11:09,514 Dirty jokes, funny movies, seeing someone die. 303 00:11:09,549 --> 00:11:11,249 This morning i even saw a little girl 304 00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:12,550 Get her fingers caught in a car door 305 00:11:12,984 --> 00:11:14,250 And i couldn't laugh. 306 00:11:14,285 --> 00:11:16,887 I mean, i knew it was funny, but i couldn't laugh. 307 00:11:16,922 --> 00:11:19,490 Well, eric, i suppose that just like everything else 308 00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:21,190 Laughter can be relative. 309 00:11:21,225 --> 00:11:24,262 In other words, sometimes people see something so scary 310 00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:25,962 That nothing else scares them, 311 00:11:25,997 --> 00:11:28,166 So the same could be true for funny things. 312 00:11:28,599 --> 00:11:30,334 So does that mean i'll never laugh again? 313 00:11:30,369 --> 00:11:32,034 It's possible, m'kay. 314 00:11:32,069 --> 00:11:34,672 But, y'know, if you have completely lost your sense of humor 315 00:11:35,106 --> 00:11:37,708 You can always become a writer for the show "friends". 316 00:11:38,142 --> 00:11:39,443 M'kay. 317 00:11:39,478 --> 00:11:40,745 Euh! 318 00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:43,998 And so you see, our son was just playing a joke 319 00:11:44,033 --> 00:11:45,950 And the little fat kid put it on the milk carton. 320 00:11:45,985 --> 00:11:47,650 Yes, yes, i see. 321 00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:52,023 Kenny, don't you think you owe the thompsons an apology? 322 00:11:52,456 --> 00:11:55,024 No, it was foolish for us to get our hopes up. 323 00:11:55,059 --> 00:11:57,662 It was just such a coincidence considering the photo. 324 00:11:57,697 --> 00:11:58,928 You may not have realized this, 325 00:11:58,963 --> 00:12:01,999 But martha and i have buttocks where our heads should be. 326 00:12:02,034 --> 00:12:03,699 Really? Really? 327 00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,001 Mr. And mrs. Thompson, 328 00:12:05,036 --> 00:12:06,771 How long has it been since you've seen your son? 329 00:12:06,806 --> 00:12:08,940 Tommy disappeared when he was only seven. 330 00:12:08,975 --> 00:12:10,640 Oh, steven! 331 00:12:10,675 --> 00:12:13,277 It's like it's all happening all over again. 332 00:12:16,314 --> 00:12:17,615 There, there now. 333 00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:21,085 Please, mrs. Thompson, it'll be all right. 334 00:12:21,519 --> 00:12:23,688 Listen, the south park milk company 335 00:12:23,723 --> 00:12:24,954 Is the country's largest. 336 00:12:24,989 --> 00:12:26,724 We find lost children all the time. 337 00:12:28,893 --> 00:12:34,966 We can help you find tommy with the milk company's database! 338 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:38,436 Yes, we'll all help you find your son. 339 00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:39,702 Just stop crying. 340 00:12:39,737 --> 00:12:42,340 Please, for the love of god, stop crying! 341 00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:47,111 I'm sorry, i'm sorry. 342 00:12:47,545 --> 00:12:50,581 Mr. Thompson, how did your son become missing, 343 00:12:50,616 --> 00:12:51,848 Was he abducted? 344 00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:54,051 Yes, he was in the care of our nanny at the time. 345 00:12:54,086 --> 00:12:56,220 The nanny that we trusted so much took off with him 346 00:12:56,255 --> 00:12:57,955 And we still don't know why. 347 00:12:59,257 --> 00:13:01,425 We think perhaps she wanted a child of her own. 348 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:03,160 And this was back in wisconsin? 349 00:13:03,594 --> 00:13:05,763 Yes, but we last heard the nanny was heading west. 350 00:13:05,798 --> 00:13:08,366 That's why we thought colorado made sense. 351 00:13:08,401 --> 00:13:10,118 We tried every avenue to find him, 352 00:13:10,153 --> 00:13:11,836 But we never tried the milk company. 353 00:13:11,871 --> 00:13:13,102 Well, you just give us a try, 354 00:13:13,137 --> 00:13:14,837 I think that you'll find that south park milk 355 00:13:14,872 --> 00:13:17,041 Is not the only the best resource for finding kids, 356 00:13:17,076 --> 00:13:18,776 But also the best producer of the freshest 357 00:13:18,811 --> 00:13:20,945 2% low-Fat milk the world can offer. 358 00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:21,777 Thank you. 359 00:13:21,812 --> 00:13:23,547 Thank you so much for helping us. 360 00:13:23,582 --> 00:13:25,283 This certainly is a friendly town. 361 00:13:25,716 --> 00:13:27,850 You've all been so wonderful. 362 00:13:27,885 --> 00:13:29,620 Yes, i'm so grateful, i just wanna cry again. 363 00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:30,922 No! No! No! 364 00:13:35,426 --> 00:13:37,161 Dude, why are you wearing shalana's panties? 365 00:13:39,764 --> 00:13:41,499 I had to wear shalana's panties, 366 00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:44,101 Lisa's were in the wash! 367 00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:47,571 Look, can we just get this over with? 368 00:13:48,005 --> 00:13:49,307 But, dude, i can't french-Kiss him, 369 00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:51,493 He's my grandpa! 370 00:13:51,528 --> 00:13:53,609 Come on, dude. 371 00:13:53,644 --> 00:13:55,379 Oh, all right, here it goes. 372 00:13:55,414 --> 00:13:56,681 Come here, grandpa. 373 00:13:57,548 --> 00:13:58,416 Ohh! 374 00:13:58,849 --> 00:14:00,549 Oh, dude, oh. 375 00:14:00,584 --> 00:14:01,452 Dude, what's wrong with you? 376 00:14:01,487 --> 00:14:02,718 Nothing's wrong with me. 377 00:14:02,753 --> 00:14:04,453 Well, i'm glad that's over with. 378 00:14:04,488 --> 00:14:07,091 We better go back to the house now to see how chris is doing. 379 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:11,862 Heh heh. 380 00:14:12,730 --> 00:14:14,031 Hey... ooh. 381 00:14:16,634 --> 00:14:18,334 Mr. And mrs. Thompson, 382 00:14:18,369 --> 00:14:20,104 As president of the south park milk company 383 00:14:20,139 --> 00:14:21,804 I want to apologize personally 384 00:14:21,839 --> 00:14:24,008 For printing that falsified picture on our milk cartons. 385 00:14:24,043 --> 00:14:26,177 Please, please, it's not your fault. 386 00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:27,912 Yes, but here at south park milk 387 00:14:27,947 --> 00:14:29,213 We strive for excellence. 388 00:14:29,647 --> 00:14:33,117 For instance, we are now entering the extraction room. 389 00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:33,985 As you can see 390 00:14:34,418 --> 00:14:35,286 We keep it close to the refrigeration room. 391 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,021 That way we can get the milk to the container 392 00:14:37,056 --> 00:14:38,287 As fast as possible. 393 00:14:38,322 --> 00:14:39,190 That's why some say south park milk 394 00:14:39,623 --> 00:14:40,491 Tastes like you're sucking it 395 00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:42,226 Right from the cow's tits yourself. 396 00:14:42,261 --> 00:14:43,059 Amazing. 397 00:14:43,094 --> 00:14:44,829 Here, try a glass of our cold vitamin "d" 398 00:14:44,864 --> 00:14:46,130 And our fresh scones. 399 00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:47,865 Delicious. 400 00:14:48,299 --> 00:14:49,166 Oh, excuse me, 401 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,901 A little difficult to drink with our condition. 402 00:14:51,335 --> 00:14:52,636 Martha and i actually have buttocks 403 00:14:52,671 --> 00:14:53,938 Where our heads should be. 404 00:14:53,973 --> 00:14:55,204 Really? 405 00:14:55,239 --> 00:14:56,757 Well, and in here we have our 406 00:14:56,792 --> 00:14:58,401 Missing child research center. 407 00:14:58,436 --> 00:15:00,011 Oh my, isn't this impressive. 408 00:15:00,046 --> 00:15:01,312 Yes, with thecowron 4000 409 00:15:01,746 --> 00:15:03,264 Mrs. Garthunk can search a database 410 00:15:03,299 --> 00:15:04,782 Of over 30 million missing child cases. 411 00:15:05,216 --> 00:15:07,384 We'll start the computer on a data search. 412 00:15:07,419 --> 00:15:09,553 Now, when did your son turn up missing? 413 00:15:09,588 --> 00:15:11,253 Well, it was 1982. 414 00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:13,457 Tommy was only six at the time. 415 00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:14,325 All right then. 416 00:15:14,759 --> 00:15:15,843 Computer! 417 00:15:15,878 --> 00:15:16,892 Working! 418 00:15:16,927 --> 00:15:18,662 Run a scan of missing children since 1982. 419 00:15:19,096 --> 00:15:21,265 Check for physical birth defects called t.P.S. 420 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,319 T.P.S., torsonic polarity syndrome, 421 00:15:24,354 --> 00:15:27,303 Plus missing since 1982, working! 422 00:15:27,338 --> 00:15:29,507 So you actually haven't seen your son in over 20 years? 423 00:15:29,542 --> 00:15:30,808 That's right. 424 00:15:31,242 --> 00:15:32,977 But then why did you think the picture of kenny was him? 425 00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:34,677 Wouldn't your son be much older now? 426 00:15:34,712 --> 00:15:36,881 Yes, but since he appeared to be at least eight in the photo... 427 00:15:38,616 --> 00:15:42,051 We assumed someone had seen him since we had. 428 00:15:42,086 --> 00:15:46,857 This is the only photo we have of our little tommy. 429 00:15:46,892 --> 00:15:48,159 It's gonna take quite a while for the computer 430 00:15:48,194 --> 00:15:49,859 To do a scan of all missing kids. 431 00:15:49,894 --> 00:15:51,594 Well, why don't we let miss garthunk do her work 432 00:15:51,629 --> 00:15:54,448 And i'll let you two out for some good ol' colorado chili. 433 00:15:54,483 --> 00:15:57,268 We don't really like chili, it makes us throw up. 434 00:15:59,003 --> 00:16:00,703 Well, hello, eric. 435 00:16:00,738 --> 00:16:02,039 I was really glad you called me, very much. 436 00:16:02,074 --> 00:16:03,340 Jimmy, thank god, get in here! 437 00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:05,041 What's this all about? 438 00:16:05,076 --> 00:16:07,244 Jimmy, you've always been my favorite stand-Up comic. 439 00:16:07,678 --> 00:16:09,413 You've gotta help me, i've lost my sense of humor. 440 00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:10,679 Gee, that's a terrible thing, eric. 441 00:16:10,714 --> 00:16:12,883 Comedy can be the best therapy, very much. 442 00:16:13,317 --> 00:16:14,618 I just have to find my funny bone again. 443 00:16:14,653 --> 00:16:15,451 Just try and make me laugh. 444 00:16:15,486 --> 00:16:16,787 Oh, i don't think that will be hard. 445 00:16:16,822 --> 00:16:18,089 I've been working on my routine. 446 00:16:18,124 --> 00:16:19,355 Okay, let me have it. 447 00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:20,908 Okay, try this one on for size. 448 00:16:20,943 --> 00:16:22,426 Why did the pigeon cross the road? 449 00:16:22,461 --> 00:16:23,692 Okay, why? 450 00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:26,113 Because he was having sex with the chick... 451 00:16:26,148 --> 00:16:28,841 Because he was having sex with the ch-Chick... 452 00:16:28,876 --> 00:16:31,535 Because he was having sex with the ch-Ch-Ch... 453 00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:34,103 He was having sex with the chicken. 454 00:16:34,138 --> 00:16:37,608 Nah, see, something's wrong, i'm not laughing. 455 00:16:37,643 --> 00:16:38,909 Wow, what a great audience. 456 00:16:39,343 --> 00:16:40,427 How about this classic? 457 00:16:40,462 --> 00:16:41,512 Knock knock. Who's there? 458 00:16:41,547 --> 00:16:43,212 Orange. Orange who? 459 00:16:43,247 --> 00:16:44,765 Orange you glad i didn't say b... 460 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,409 Orange you glad i didn't say ba... 461 00:16:46,444 --> 00:16:48,966 Orange you glad i didn't say ba-N... 462 00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:51,489 Orange you glad i didn't say ba-Nana? 463 00:16:52,356 --> 00:16:53,874 No, that didn't work either. 464 00:16:53,909 --> 00:16:55,392 Wow, what a great audience. 465 00:16:55,427 --> 00:16:56,225 Knock knock. 466 00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:57,093 Who's there? 467 00:16:57,128 --> 00:16:58,394 An interrupting cow. 468 00:16:58,429 --> 00:17:01,899 An interrupting cow who- Moo! 469 00:17:02,766 --> 00:17:05,369 What a terrific audience. 470 00:17:10,141 --> 00:17:11,407 Ah, let's see. 471 00:17:11,442 --> 00:17:13,177 The dallas-Fort worth area, i haven't tried there yet. 472 00:17:13,212 --> 00:17:14,279 Computer? 473 00:17:14,314 --> 00:17:15,311 Working. 474 00:17:15,346 --> 00:17:16,612 Scan for any children reported found 475 00:17:16,647 --> 00:17:19,250 In the dallas-Fort worth area with a facial deformity. 476 00:17:19,285 --> 00:17:19,683 Working. 477 00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:22,251 Negative. 478 00:17:22,286 --> 00:17:23,986 Oh, this is hopeless. 479 00:17:24,021 --> 00:17:24,889 Wait a minute, let's try it this way. 480 00:17:25,322 --> 00:17:25,756 Computer! 481 00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:27,022 Working. 482 00:17:27,057 --> 00:17:28,359 Scan data banks forchildren 483 00:17:28,792 --> 00:17:30,528 Who reported their parentsmissing. 484 00:17:30,563 --> 00:17:31,794 Working. 485 00:17:31,829 --> 00:17:33,529 1,006,000 hits. 486 00:17:33,564 --> 00:17:36,167 All right, then break it down to claims in the past 20 years. 487 00:17:36,202 --> 00:17:38,300 Working. 488 00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:40,469 321,000 hits. 489 00:17:40,504 --> 00:17:42,239 All right, now run a scan on homogenized 490 00:17:42,274 --> 00:17:44,373 Versus pasteurized skim milk. 491 00:17:44,408 --> 00:17:47,011 In skim form, homogenized has longer shelf life 492 00:17:47,444 --> 00:17:48,746 By 2.3 weeks. 493 00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:50,012 Okay, okay. 494 00:17:50,047 --> 00:17:51,313 Now give me a breakdown 495 00:17:51,348 --> 00:17:52,615 Of people who are seeking their parents 496 00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:56,554 Who also suffer from a disease called t.P.S. 497 00:17:56,589 --> 00:17:58,254 Torsonic polarity syndrome 498 00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:00,024 Plus a claim not to know parents. 499 00:18:00,457 --> 00:18:02,193 One match. 500 00:18:02,626 --> 00:18:03,494 Bingo. 501 00:18:03,928 --> 00:18:04,795 Do you have a photo? 502 00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:06,764 Printing! 503 00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:08,399 My god! 504 00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,000 Oh my god. 505 00:18:14,672 --> 00:18:16,407 Butters, hey, butters! 506 00:18:16,442 --> 00:18:17,673 Hey, yeah? 507 00:18:17,708 --> 00:18:19,877 They found the butt-Face people's son, butters. 508 00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:22,479 They're gonna have a big reunion at the milk company. 509 00:18:22,514 --> 00:18:23,746 Oh gee, that sounds swell, fellas. 510 00:18:23,781 --> 00:18:26,383 But i can't go 'cause i'm still having behavioral problems. 511 00:18:26,817 --> 00:18:28,517 Why are you wearing a paper bag on your head? 512 00:18:28,552 --> 00:18:30,287 My parents are making me wear this paper bag on my head 513 00:18:30,721 --> 00:18:33,757 Until i learn to stop making silly faces all the time. 514 00:18:33,792 --> 00:18:35,457 They really had it up to here with me. 515 00:18:35,492 --> 00:18:38,529 Butters, are you ready to stop with the stupid faces? 516 00:18:38,564 --> 00:18:39,795 I sure am, dad. 517 00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:41,565 All right, you can take the paper bag off. 518 00:18:41,999 --> 00:18:42,831 Thanks, dad. 519 00:18:42,866 --> 00:18:44,133 I'm sorry i was bad. 520 00:18:44,168 --> 00:18:45,434 Oh, very funny, young man! 521 00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:47,204 You think it's clever to make yourself up like a girl? 522 00:18:47,638 --> 00:18:48,470 But dad, i didn't- 523 00:18:48,505 --> 00:18:50,241 Did you use your mother's makeup? 524 00:18:50,276 --> 00:18:51,108 She's gonna be furious. 525 00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:52,843 I'm not wearing makeup, dad. 526 00:18:52,878 --> 00:18:54,144 Put that bag back on! 527 00:18:54,578 --> 00:18:56,278 Yes, sir. 528 00:18:56,313 --> 00:18:57,580 Dude, that poor kid. 529 00:18:57,615 --> 00:19:01,518 Yeah, we gotta remember to kick his ass tomorrow. 530 00:19:04,989 --> 00:19:06,290 Dear mom, 531 00:19:06,724 --> 00:19:08,892 I can no longer stand to be without a sense of humor. 532 00:19:09,326 --> 00:19:11,929 Without laughter the world is a cold and sad place. 533 00:19:11,964 --> 00:19:14,496 And i can't go out to face it anymore. 534 00:19:14,531 --> 00:19:18,435 Please tell everyone why i won't be at school. 535 00:19:22,773 --> 00:19:26,243 And please buy me more chocolate guns. 536 00:19:26,278 --> 00:19:27,978 I'm starting to run out. 537 00:19:34,051 --> 00:19:36,220 Please get the kind with marshmallow inside. 538 00:19:36,255 --> 00:19:38,389 I don't like the peanut butter-Filled ones. 539 00:19:38,424 --> 00:19:39,690 Eric. 540 00:19:40,557 --> 00:19:41,824 And so it is with great pride 541 00:19:41,859 --> 00:19:43,559 That we have flown little billy thompson out here. 542 00:19:43,594 --> 00:19:47,498 To be reunited with his parents for the first time in 20 years. 543 00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:48,799 Mrs. Garthunk. 544 00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:50,100 Thank you, mr. President. 545 00:19:50,534 --> 00:19:53,136 I'm proud to be an employee of south park milk, 546 00:19:53,171 --> 00:19:55,756 Which to date has found over 100,000 missing kids 547 00:19:55,791 --> 00:19:58,342 And led the way in the fight against curdling. 548 00:19:58,377 --> 00:20:00,077 Mr. And mrs. Thompson, your son grew up 549 00:20:00,112 --> 00:20:01,812 Not knowing who his parents were. 550 00:20:02,246 --> 00:20:03,512 But he was strong and resilient 551 00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:06,115 And ended up becoming very successful. 552 00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:09,620 I think it will amaze you as it will all of us to learn 553 00:20:09,655 --> 00:20:11,155 That your son... 554 00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:12,656 Is ben affleck. 555 00:20:13,090 --> 00:20:15,259 Come on out here, ben! 556 00:20:15,294 --> 00:20:17,011 Mom, dad! 557 00:20:17,046 --> 00:20:18,694 Son! 558 00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:20,429 Oh, son! 559 00:20:20,464 --> 00:20:21,297 What's going on? 560 00:20:21,332 --> 00:20:23,067 Dude, the ass-Faces' son is ben affleck. 561 00:20:23,102 --> 00:20:24,368 Oh, our little ben. 562 00:20:24,802 --> 00:20:26,502 Oh, i'm so happy. 563 00:20:26,537 --> 00:20:29,139 Wow, i never realized ben had t.P.S., 564 00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:31,742 But i definitely see the resemblance now. 565 00:20:33,477 --> 00:20:34,778 Oh, son. 566 00:20:35,212 --> 00:20:36,045 Isn't this wonderful? 567 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,780 Okay, gang, give me a big smile. 568 00:20:37,815 --> 00:20:40,417 Well, looks like everything turned out all right for them. 569 00:20:40,452 --> 00:20:43,020 Yeah, i guess now we'll have to call him ben ass-Fleck. 570 00:20:45,189 --> 00:20:46,273 Ben ass-Fleck, that's funny! 571 00:20:46,308 --> 00:20:47,358 Hey, you're laughing, cartman. 572 00:20:47,791 --> 00:20:48,624 Hey, you're right. 573 00:20:48,659 --> 00:20:50,394 Oh, this is great- Ben ass-Fleck! 574 00:20:50,828 --> 00:20:53,430 Wait a minute, don't you see what happened? 575 00:20:53,465 --> 00:20:54,697 What? 576 00:20:54,732 --> 00:20:56,033 Everything turned out okay for those people. 577 00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:56,900 And so now you can laugh. 578 00:20:57,334 --> 00:20:58,167 Huh? 579 00:20:58,202 --> 00:20:59,069 When cartman first opened the door 580 00:20:59,503 --> 00:21:00,336 And saw the thompsons 581 00:21:00,371 --> 00:21:01,672 He felt bad for playing a joke on them. 582 00:21:01,707 --> 00:21:02,973 Now that everything's turned out all right 583 00:21:03,008 --> 00:21:04,075 He's able to laugh. 584 00:21:04,110 --> 00:21:05,107 Whoa, you're right. 585 00:21:05,142 --> 00:21:06,660 Cartman had a feeling of remorse. 586 00:21:06,695 --> 00:21:08,143 No, no, no, i blew a funny fuse. 587 00:21:08,178 --> 00:21:10,347 There is no such thing as a funny fuse, cartman. 588 00:21:10,382 --> 00:21:11,613 You felt bad! 589 00:21:11,648 --> 00:21:12,950 Whatever, all i know is i can laugh again. 590 00:21:13,384 --> 00:21:15,119 I'm gonna go home and eat another chocolate gun. 591 00:21:15,154 --> 00:21:16,854 Come on, kenny! 592 00:21:20,758 --> 00:21:23,360 Wow, cartman actually felt bad for somebody 593 00:21:23,395 --> 00:21:24,193 And couldn't laugh at them. 594 00:21:24,228 --> 00:21:25,529 Our little man is growing up, stan. 595 00:21:25,564 --> 00:21:27,264 He's growing up. 596 00:21:27,698 --> 00:21:28,964 Yeah, i guess we all are. 597 00:21:28,999 --> 00:21:29,867 Maybe things are finally gonna start 598 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:31,602 Getting more sophisticated around here. 599 00:21:33,771 --> 00:21:34,603 Oh, son. 600 00:21:34,638 --> 00:21:37,674 Captioning made possible by comedy central 601 00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:40,277 Captioned by soundwriters?