1
00:00:21,099 --> 00:00:23,599
We're past the point of no return!
2
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,200
Anybody else notice that we keep passing
3
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,600
the same stars and planets every 30 seconds?
4
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,500
That's the screensaver, whip.
5
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,700
Oh! Much better!
6
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,600
- Come to the beginning of time!
- Stop the ship!
7
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,500
Time travel!
8
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,100
Everyone can do it now.
9
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,700
But not everyone can go back
to the beginning of time.
10
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,900
In fact, no one can.
11
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,400
Or should we say,
no one could, until today!
12
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:24,800
Reserve a space on our maiden voyage now!
13
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,100
You know what the best part of being able
to go back to the beginning of time means?
14
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,000
Yeah, not having to remember
what you did yesterday.
15
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:36,700
Yeah that, and we're going to know,
once and for all, how the universe was created.
16
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,500
I think we already know.
17
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,300
It was the Good Lord himself.
18
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,500
Gus, everyone knows that the universe
began from an explosion...
19
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,664
due to a combination of high temperature
and density, A.K.A. The big bang. Right?
20
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,500
Oh, Chode honey,...
21
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:53,900
I've been part of so many big bangs
that if anything had actually started a universe,...
22
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,300
I'd know.
23
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,700
I don't get why you robots and cyborgs
believe in God anyway.
24
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,200
You're nothing but metal, circuits,
and pseudo-flesh.
25
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:06,400
If we didn't believe in God, we'd have to worship
the engineering dweebs that designed us.
26
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,300
And frankly,...
27
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,600
the God I pray to doesn't need acne medicine
and chronically masturbate.
28
00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:13,000
I'm a God man, too!
29
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:17,100
I know the big guy watches over the whipper
and takes care of my every need.
30
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,400
And nothing will ever get me to think differently.
31
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,468
Excuse me!
32
00:02:21,502 --> 00:02:23,100
God is a woman!
33
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,000
And I was made in her image!
34
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,500
on second thought...
35
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,900
Come on!
36
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:33,200
The whole God concept is one
of the best scams ever invented.
37
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,900
How dare you speak this way about our creator?
38
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:40,634
Who with divine beneficence
created a universe filled with such...
39
00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:43,144
extraordinary beauty!
40
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,400
Well, that's enough divine beauty for one day.
41
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,400
When do we leave?
42
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:53,300
"We" aren't going anywhere.
43
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,800
The only one I'm taking is Gus.
44
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,700
Chode, honey,...
45
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,700
I would really,
really like to go with you and Gus.
46
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:07,300
I've always wanted
to make love to the man himself.
47
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,700
- Really?
- Oh, yeah!
48
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,800
Just once when I moan, "Oh God, oh, God!"
49
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,200
I really want to mean it.
50
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,100
Yeah, whatever.
51
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,200
Gus, initiate the vector coordinates.
52
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,600
T'nuk! Set the course to the nearest timeport.
53
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,400
We're not moving!
54
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,400
Bob!
55
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:34,300
Come on Bob, you agoraphobic!
Let's get going!
56
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,200
You know, T'nuk,...
57
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:38,100
I may be a spaceship who ironically
has a fear of space,...
58
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,500
but do you always have to refer to me as such?
59
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,600
Being reduced to one-word hurts!
60
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,800
What if I did that to you?
61
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,200
Oh, please!
62
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:49,500
Like you could sum up any of us
with a one-word description.
63
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,500
Ok, whatever you say...
64
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,800
Bitch. Whore. Slacker. Wimp. Thief.
65
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:57,500
You know,...
66
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,400
if he wasn't so fast,...
67
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,300
I'd get rid of him like that.
68
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,300
I heard that.
69
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:12,850
Passengers for flight 172,
destination orion, board at gate 2.
70
00:04:13,263 --> 00:04:15,635
Hey, you think those guys will recognize me?
71
00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:18,400
Oh please. You'll blend right in.
72
00:04:18,401 --> 00:04:19,401
.
73
00:04:19,436 --> 00:04:22,529
You know,
if you had just given Six back to him,...
74
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:25,502
we wouldn't have to dress up like morons!
75
00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:28,900
Well, I would've,
except I like banging her.
76
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,500
Banging... yuck!
77
00:04:31,717 --> 00:04:34,066
It amazes me that although I'm a robot,...
78
00:04:34,101 --> 00:04:37,400
I am infinitely more evolved
and refined than you are.
79
00:04:37,536 --> 00:04:39,535
I would never bang someone.
80
00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:41,034
Yeah, because you can't!
81
00:04:41,069 --> 00:04:43,500
You can't afford the banging attachment!
82
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:52,869
Passengers for flight 11,
destination: The creation of the universe,...
83
00:04:52,903 --> 00:04:55,200
are awaited at gate 1.
84
00:04:56,869 --> 00:04:59,400
Damn, confederation soldiers!
85
00:04:59,436 --> 00:05:01,900
I'm ducking out 'til they pass by.
86
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,570
Chode, for the last time:
87
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,635
nobody's going to recognize us in these outfits.
88
00:05:06,669 --> 00:05:08,335
Gus! Is that you?
89
00:05:08,369 --> 00:05:09,500
Nancy!
90
00:05:10,136 --> 00:05:11,567
What are you doing here?
91
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,000
I'm with my church group!
92
00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:15,568
Say no to time travel!
93
00:05:15,602 --> 00:05:17,669
We've taken some time off
from our regular jobs,...
94
00:05:17,703 --> 00:05:21,500
like preventing stem cell research
from curing horrible diseases,...
95
00:05:21,535 --> 00:05:25,335
to protest this time tour going back
to the creation of the universe.
96
00:05:25,369 --> 00:05:27,800
Boy, I hate anyone taking that trip.
97
00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,900
So, where are you going?
98
00:05:30,503 --> 00:05:32,100
C'mon, Gus!
99
00:05:32,136 --> 00:05:35,100
We've got an appointment
with the beginning of time!
100
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,502
God told us to go there.
101
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,868
Heh. I'm not lying!
102
00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:42,000
Who are we to question God?
103
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,000
Have I told you lately that I hate you?
104
00:05:46,141 --> 00:05:48,900
Hey, who was the God freak
you were talking to?
105
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,000
Nancy.
106
00:05:50,004 --> 00:05:52,700
Really? That's nancy?
107
00:05:52,737 --> 00:05:56,969
The one who's been after you to join
her gang of religions lunatics?
108
00:05:57,003 --> 00:05:59,600
Yes. Charming isn't she?
109
00:05:59,805 --> 00:06:02,172
Umm... she's got no tits.
110
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:17,500
Ok, Bob. A little to the left.
111
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:21,800
Now raise your nose 20 degrees.
112
00:06:21,837 --> 00:06:22,904
Perfect!
113
00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,100
Thanks, Bob.
114
00:06:30,637 --> 00:06:32,435
What are you doing to her?
115
00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:33,836
Oh, nothing really.
116
00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:37,135
I just want to turn
this cheap whore into a lady,...
117
00:06:37,169 --> 00:06:38,068
that's all.
118
00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:40,337
First of all, I am not a cheap whore.
119
00:06:40,371 --> 00:06:42,434
I am an expensive whore.
120
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,935
Second, you're dripping pus again.
121
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:45,902
And last,...
122
00:06:45,936 --> 00:06:47,069
if you know what's good for you,...
123
00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:49,369
you'll keep your paws off me!
124
00:06:49,403 --> 00:06:52,300
If I know what's good for me? Ha!
125
00:06:52,369 --> 00:06:55,800
I have gas cramps
more threatening than that!
126
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,500
Next!
127
00:07:13,439 --> 00:07:16,968
Be careful!
You shake that too much, it'll explode.
128
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,300
Really?
129
00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:19,435
What is it?
130
00:07:19,469 --> 00:07:21,569
Um, a can of soda?
131
00:07:21,603 --> 00:07:23,302
I don't think so, buddy!
132
00:07:23,336 --> 00:07:26,202
You know you're not allowed
to bring soda to another time period.
133
00:07:26,236 --> 00:07:27,869
You're right! My mistake!
134
00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:29,402
That's not a can of soda!
135
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:30,700
Then what is it?
136
00:07:30,703 --> 00:07:32,000
A bomb.
137
00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:37,034
Well, ok then.
Just as long as it's not a can of soda.
138
00:07:37,068 --> 00:07:38,600
No, it's a bomb.
139
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:39,800
Next!
140
00:07:40,838 --> 00:07:44,100
Where do they get these security guys?
141
00:07:44,703 --> 00:07:45,501
Plastic?
142
00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:47,400
Nuh-uh. C-4.
143
00:07:56,104 --> 00:07:59,100
This is racial profiling!
144
00:07:59,368 --> 00:08:02,500
No, it's just a random check.
145
00:08:05,729 --> 00:08:07,137
Chode, before we board,...
146
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:10,302
I just want to thank you
from the bottom of my heart.
147
00:08:10,369 --> 00:08:13,936
It's not everyday an owner buys a ticket
for their robot, so thank you.
148
00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:15,900
Ticket? What ticket?
149
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:22,900
Not funny, Chode.
Not funny.
150
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,100
Next!
151
00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:45,400
I'm not sure deregulating
the timelines was the best idea.
152
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,400
Thank you for taking Temporal Adventures!
153
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,500
Now with more leg and/or other appendage room.
154
00:08:54,714 --> 00:08:56,700
Good afternoon!
This is your captain speaking.
155
00:08:56,900 --> 00:09:00,000
We're taking off.
Please turn off electronic equipment...
156
00:09:00,034 --> 00:09:02,564
including such as cell phones,
laptops, and robots.
157
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,500
I hate take-offs and landings.
158
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:17,100
Next stop, beginning of time.
159
00:09:51,296 --> 00:09:53,300
Oh yes! Do it to me!
160
00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:02,400
Let's congratulate the newest members
of the mile high club!
161
00:10:04,369 --> 00:10:07,300
In a few moments we'll arrive
at the creation of the universe.
162
00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:10,468
But first we have to cross the blue wavy lines...
163
00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:14,900
that no one has ever crossed before
due to the ferocious tornadoes and turbulence!
164
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,000
So what makes us feel invulnerable?
165
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,100
Well it's simple:
166
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,200
Liquor!
167
00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:29,800
Please, God. Please don't kill me!
168
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:32,000
I'm sorry for all the horrible things
I said about you.
169
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,900
I do believe in you!
I do believe!
170
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,000
So you do believe in God!
171
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:39,000
I never said that.
172
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,500
Oh, yes, you did.
173
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,400
Listen, you metal prick!
174
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,500
I'll pretend to believe in him
if it saves our lives.
175
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,000
But it's not like I really believe in him!
176
00:10:48,303 --> 00:10:50,000
I believe!
177
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,200
I was lying.
178
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,000
I believe!
179
00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:57,300
I was lying.
180
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,800
Hello, this is the captain speaking.
181
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:03,200
We've decided, after careful thought
and consideration that...
182
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,000
we don't want to die!
183
00:11:11,869 --> 00:11:14,400
Complimentary videotape of your flight?
184
00:11:20,936 --> 00:11:22,301
What are we doing?
185
00:11:22,335 --> 00:11:23,700
I've got a plan.
186
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:29,800
Just as long as it doesn't involve stealing this timeplane
and flying it ourselves back to the beginning of time,...
187
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000
I'm with you.
188
00:11:32,631 --> 00:11:35,600
Thanks a lot for changing your mind
about this whole thing.
189
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,000
Your support really means a lot to me.
190
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,300
Mmm... pretty weird, huh?
191
00:11:58,237 --> 00:12:00,300
Hey buddy, we're almost there!
192
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,300
You can stop praying
and just yell out the window.
193
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,000
Gus, get out of the door!
I go first!
194
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,500
Master before slave.
195
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,734
You are on such a power trip.
196
00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:21,800
Me, on a power trip?
That is so ridiculous.
197
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,800
Let there be light!
198
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,200
Hah! Look at that!
199
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,100
The big bang!
200
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,600
Are you sure we're at the beginning of time?
201
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:39,200
We're at the creation of the universe
and what do I see?
202
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,400
Big bang! Tiny supernova!
Digital readout!
203
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:47,300
Hmm... anything missing, Gus?
Anything you don't see?
204
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,800
Who are you looking for, Gus?
205
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:56,600
God. God! Oh, God! Oh!
206
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:01,200
Well, you'd think he'd be here
at the creation of his universe.
207
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,200
Unless he was just a scam.
208
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,400
I hate to admit it, but you were right.
209
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,700
There is no God.
210
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,700
Look, if it'll make you feel any better,...
211
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,400
you can call me God.
212
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,100
Excuse me, gentlemen!
213
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,100
We are so dead.
214
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,400
Gentlemen!
215
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:39,800
We want to make sure you don't forget
your souvenir videotape.
216
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,700
Souvenir videotape?
217
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,800
You never know when you'll want
to relive your adventure.
218
00:13:44,836 --> 00:13:45,900
Thanks.
219
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,300
Well, that was a surprise.
220
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,000
Yeah. She cleans up nice.
221
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,000
I wonder where Nancy went?
222
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,836
She and her friends are probably out
doing something religious,...
223
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,000
like bombing abortion clinics.
224
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,000
It's weird they're not here though.
225
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,400
Time travel always brings you back
to the same time you left.
226
00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:10,400
- White pearls?
- Nuh-uh. Black diamonds.
227
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,800
Welcome to timeport 7612-544.
228
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,800
As usual, all flights are on time.
229
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,500
Ok,
maybe there is something a little off here.
230
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,200
First floor--
231
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:31,800
Second--
232
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,800
What if things are different here too?
233
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:34,600
Third--
234
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,700
We'll cross that bridge when we find it.
235
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:37,700
Bridge.
236
00:14:37,901 --> 00:14:42,578
Schlemiel, schlimazel,
hasenpfeffer, incorporated!
237
00:14:42,918 --> 00:14:44,700
Or maybe we won't.
238
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,700
I actually thought
I saw Six and T'nuk getting along.
239
00:14:50,677 --> 00:14:52,200
You two are friends?
240
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,300
Friends?
241
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,900
Heh. We're same-sex partners!
242
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,400
You know that, silly.
243
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,700
First mate Chode and robot Gus! Ahoy!
244
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,000
All right, first question:
245
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,000
Why are you sitting in my chair?
246
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,000
Second question:
247
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,100
why is there a parrot on your shoulder?
248
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:09,100
Because I'm the captain.
249
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,000
Raar! You know that, silly.
250
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,700
If ever there was a sign of the apocalypse...
251
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,700
Now that you've won the World Series,
where are you going?
252
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,400
The happiest place on earth:
253
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,100
Jérusalem!
254
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:33,600
Bob! Come on, Bob, you daredevil!
Take it easy.
255
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,700
You know, T'nuk,...
256
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,800
I may be a spaceship who takes wild risks,...
257
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,400
but do you always have to refer to me as such?
258
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,400
Being reduced to a one-word label hurts.
259
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,000
How would you like it if I did that to you?
260
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,600
Oh, please!
261
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,700
Like you could sum up any of us
with a one-word description.
262
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,800
Ok, whatever you say...
263
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:56,100
Sweet. Innocent. Motivated. Brave. Giver.
264
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:57,700
What have we done?
265
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,200
I don't know.
But I think I have a way to find out.
266
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,500
I was wrong.
267
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,600
This souvenir videotape is useless.
268
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:13,700
Wait.
269
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,600
I think I heard something
right at the end there.
270
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,500
Rewind it and go slow.
271
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,900
I guess there was a God. My bad.
272
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,300
Do you think he's dead?
273
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:36,700
Hey, Six, what's the deal with sex nowadays?
274
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,400
Deal? There's no deal.
You want to have sex, you just have sex.
275
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,100
Yep. He's dead.
276
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,500
We killed God!
277
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,100
We have to go back immediately and fix this!
278
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,800
- Not so fast!
- What?
279
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,800
Why should we bring the big guy back?
280
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,700
Look around.
No wars. No religions...
281
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:56,900
The only bummer is,
no teenage girls walking around...
282
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,700
in catholic school uniforms.
283
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,100
Chode, enough.
284
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,500
We have to go back and unkill God.
285
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,500
Hey, Gus-muffin.
Hee hee!
286
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,168
Ready for some hot metal-on-metal action?
287
00:17:07,202 --> 00:17:08,600
God help me!
288
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:12,800
Yep, I killed God,
and the universe is a better place.
289
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:16,500
I wonder if they'll erect a statue of me?
290
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:20,600
Yeah, I go to a bank and there's no safe.
291
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,900
The money's just in a big pile in the corner.
292
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,500
You just take what you need!
293
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,100
I have to admit it's great.
294
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,300
I say "I guess I'll just try sex".
295
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,600
I get a penis attachment!
296
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:30,900
I say "a large one please",...
297
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,500
I get that too!
298
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,700
How do I describe how great it all is?
299
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,200
It's like...
300
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:37,800
christmas without the chris?
301
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:38,900
Exactly!
302
00:17:38,936 --> 00:17:41,905
You know, Gus,
after all the years of you claiming...
303
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:45,100
that all the good in the universe
was because of God,...
304
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,300
it's nice to know that you were wrong.
305
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,968
In fact, without God,
everyone is just naturally good.
306
00:17:51,002 --> 00:17:53,500
Because without God, there's no Satan.
307
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,000
And without Satan, there's no evil.
308
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,500
Well, the important thing is...
309
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,500
we're the only two in the universe
who know how to be bad.
310
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,000
Ok. The only three.
311
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,700
You told Whip?
312
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,000
About the evil thing...
313
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:12,100
I hope that wasn't a secret because
I may have mentioned it to a few people.
314
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,800
Our top story tonight:
315
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:17,900
Evel.
316
00:18:18,037 --> 00:18:19,400
Hmm? Evil.
317
00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:21,000
It's new and it's everywhere.
318
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:25,000
We begin our team coverage tonight
with Hank Hanson, live on the street. Hank?
319
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:25,900
Thanks, Jim.
320
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,800
Just a few days ago,
no one knew what stealing meant.
321
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,300
Now everyone's doing it!
322
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,300
Apparently, the new way of thinking is:
323
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,100
if you want something,
you take it even if it's not yours!
324
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,400
- Gimme that microphone!
- No!
325
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,100
Hank Hanson. He will be missed.
326
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,600
Elsewhere in the universe,...
327
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,700
other types of evil have been invented.
328
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,400
For this, we go to Dan Danson. Dan?
329
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:54,100
Jim, you're witnessing a first.
What you are about to see is shocking, disturbing...
330
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,800
and yet,... oddly arousing.
331
00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:01,300
Right now, this reporter
is being raped in the ass. Oh!
332
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,200
Were you out stealing today, too?
333
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,600
That's so yesterday.
334
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,700
Good.
335
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,600
Today, something new is all the rage.
336
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,700
Senseless murder.
337
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,500
You see what you started?
338
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,900
Robbery. Rape. Murder!
339
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,700
And my parents said
I'd never do anything with my life.
340
00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:30,800
It's like they have no sense of right or wrong.
341
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:34,500
Kind of hard to believe
that there could actually be beings...
342
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,500
with less of that than you.
343
00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,400
Well that's because I know there's a God...
344
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:41,700
who eventually is going to hold me
responsible for my actions.
345
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,700
You know, I never thought I'd say this, but...
346
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,300
I miss God.
347
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:51,592
It's like all his wars, plagues, wraths,
furies, rages, smites, and guilt...
348
00:19:51,626 --> 00:19:53,700
made the world a better place.
349
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,500
Well, he is love.
350
00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:57,300
What do you say we go get him back?
351
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,200
Oh, there you are, Gus-muffin.
352
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,000
I learned a new word today.
353
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,600
Sodomy.
354
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:08,400
So the plan is,
we're gonna go back in time,...
355
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,700
to right before the other plane hits God.
356
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,900
And then we land near, but not exactly where,
the other one lands,...
357
00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:19,119
and with enough time to climb out, and push him,
providing he can be pushed, out of the way,...
358
00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:21,700
before the next plane comes and hits him!
359
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,900
Which, by the way,
is also being flown by us simultaneously.
360
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
Do you understand time travel?
361
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,400
Not for the life of me.
362
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:35,000
Pretty weird, huh?
363
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,200
Wow! Deja vu.
364
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,000
So as a reward for saving me,...
365
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,600
not only will I erect a statue of you,...
366
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:50,000
but consider yourselves
my only begotten sons.
367
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,800
Suckers!
368
00:21:05,877 --> 00:21:07,860
Transcript: sadgeezer.com
Resynchro pour DVDrip: jrzac
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00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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