1 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,982 No! I'm too young to die! 2 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:39,198 TRIPPING THE RIFT - 1x02 - MUTILATION BALL 3 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,144 Captain's log, star date somethin' or other... 4 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,913 I decided to do some dirty dancing with Six. 5 00:00:55,047 --> 00:00:57,483 I'm just killing time till the big game starts. 6 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,151 But she doesn't know that. 7 00:00:59,251 --> 00:01:01,053 Ahem. I'm right here. 8 00:01:01,153 --> 00:01:02,654 I can hear every word. 9 00:01:02,721 --> 00:01:05,424 For god's sake, stop spying on me, woman! 10 00:01:05,557 --> 00:01:09,561 Besides, I would never intentionally be that insensitive and rude! 11 00:01:09,661 --> 00:01:11,930 I'm clearly not that type of guy. 12 00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:16,535 The game's starting! 13 00:01:16,602 --> 00:01:17,903 The game's starting! 14 00:01:26,512 --> 00:01:27,513 How many was that? 15 00:01:27,679 --> 00:01:28,547 One. 16 00:01:28,614 --> 00:01:31,950 Quit your slackin'! The big game starts in 45 seconds! 17 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,285 Hustle, boy! Hustle! 18 00:01:33,519 --> 00:01:37,523 Kathy, we only have o­ne of these beautiful little dipper dollies left! 19 00:01:37,623 --> 00:01:40,692 Yes, connie, they're going fast. Our viewers better hurry! 20 00:01:40,759 --> 00:01:42,761 I've got T'Nuk on the line again! 21 00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,196 T'nuk, are you there? 22 00:01:44,263 --> 00:01:45,931 Hi, kathy! Hi, connie! 23 00:01:46,198 --> 00:01:47,399 Hi, t'nuk! 24 00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:50,302 I know I just bought the other 49 little dipper dollies,... 25 00:01:50,502 --> 00:01:53,071 but I've just got to have 'em all! 26 00:01:53,205 --> 00:01:54,807 Oh, they're so darn pretty! 27 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:57,042 I mean, who can resist that face? 28 00:01:57,209 --> 00:02:00,746 Well, one more T'Nuk, and you'll have the entire collection. 29 00:02:00,813 --> 00:02:03,882 Last one! Going, going... 30 00:02:03,982 --> 00:02:07,786 Oh my god! If I don't have that doll I'll just die! I'll take... 31 00:02:14,059 --> 00:02:18,063 What do you think you're doing you giant purple assrag?! 32 00:02:19,298 --> 00:02:20,299 Gimme that! 33 00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:23,602 I want my dolly! 34 00:02:24,069 --> 00:02:24,937 Sheesh! 35 00:02:33,912 --> 00:02:36,748 The crap women watch! 36 00:02:37,649 --> 00:02:40,285 Oh boy! Cheerleaders! 37 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,423 Mutilate! Mutilate! Dismember and eviscerate! 38 00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:46,258 Yaaaaay team! 39 00:02:46,525 --> 00:02:49,361 Welcome to another game of mutilation ball! 40 00:02:49,661 --> 00:02:51,296 I'm Harry Balsak! 41 00:02:51,363 --> 00:02:53,832 Yes! And I'm Marv Alien! 42 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,801 Before we start, I should remind you folks... 43 00:02:55,934 --> 00:02:58,103 at home today's game is sponsored by cosmico. 44 00:02:58,270 --> 00:03:01,507 We put quality in. Where it goes from there is anyone's guess! 45 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,009 Yes! And Confederation cola! 46 00:03:04,176 --> 00:03:06,211 Aren't you thirsty yet? How about now? 47 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,346 How about now! 48 00:03:07,546 --> 00:03:10,516 Are you two putzes ever gonna shut your yaps and start the game?! 49 00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:16,522 And here they come now! The confederation cougars versus the Pluto Plunderers! 50 00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:36,375 Foul?! He barely touched him! 51 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,877 That ref needs his friggin' eyes examined! 52 00:03:39,211 --> 00:03:41,547 All right! Stretcher time! 53 00:03:47,886 --> 00:03:50,222 This would turn my stomach if I had one. 54 00:03:50,656 --> 00:03:51,890 How can they watch it? 55 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:55,394 Apparently it increases the adrenal glandular function of its spectators... 56 00:03:55,594 --> 00:03:58,497 while sharply reducing the flow of blood to heir brains. 57 00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:01,667 Wow! Is this great tv or what?! 58 00:04:01,934 --> 00:04:04,937 Do you realize these players are being maimed for lifes... 59 00:04:05,170 --> 00:04:08,507 just to sell you a roll of toilet paper and a pack of gum? 60 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,142 And your point is? 61 00:04:10,242 --> 00:04:13,312 Captain, my scanners indicate a confederation ship approaching. 62 00:04:13,412 --> 00:04:14,446 Oh crap! 63 00:04:16,181 --> 00:04:18,750 Hey, Bob! Hello?! You're supposed to tell us these things! 64 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:19,852 Sorry,... 65 00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:21,520 I'm a little under the weather. 66 00:04:22,688 --> 00:04:24,756 A confederation ship is approaching. 67 00:04:24,823 --> 00:04:25,891 Yeah, thanks for the warning. 68 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,292 Now get us the hell out of here! 69 00:04:27,426 --> 00:04:29,194 I've got a dozen outstanding warrants! 70 00:04:29,261 --> 00:04:30,362 I'll do my best. 71 00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:33,599 But I should warn you that sudden movements make me dizzy. 72 00:04:33,866 --> 00:04:36,635 Just haul ass ya hypochondriac! 73 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:37,703 Too late,... 74 00:04:37,803 --> 00:04:39,972 the other ship is close enough to-- 75 00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:40,873 board us. 76 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,474 Hello, Chode. 77 00:04:42,608 --> 00:04:43,842 Uh, hello Adam. 78 00:04:44,042 --> 00:04:45,410 We'd like to speak to you. 79 00:04:45,544 --> 00:04:46,912 Whatever it is, I didn't do it! 80 00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:48,714 We're not here to arrest you. 81 00:04:48,881 --> 00:04:50,949 We have a proposition. 82 00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:54,052 The championship game of mutilation ball... 83 00:04:54,153 --> 00:04:56,622 against the dark clowns is next week. 84 00:04:58,023 --> 00:05:01,894 Oh my god! It's the owner of the confederation team! Buss Cubehead! 85 00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:05,097 We must beat the dark clowns! For the good of the Confederation. 86 00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:06,532 And for the good of the game! 87 00:05:06,565 --> 00:05:10,903 And the money! The money! The money, money, money, money, money! 88 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,239 Anyway... we're bringing Back Malak for the championship game! 89 00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:16,742 Malak! He was the greatest player ever! 90 00:05:16,809 --> 00:05:19,478 But, he's been retired for two years! 91 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,247 He doesn't know it, but he's about to make a comeback! 92 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,454 We want you to kidnap him and bring him to the stadium. 93 00:05:28,487 --> 00:05:30,956 Yeah, kidnap him. 94 00:05:33,258 --> 00:05:36,495 Kidnapping? That's the despicable act of a coward! 95 00:05:36,662 --> 00:05:38,330 How much do I get paid? 96 00:05:38,363 --> 00:05:39,231 Nothing. 97 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:42,000 Pardon me, but I had a little higher price in mind. 98 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,703 The confederation has agreed to lift all your arrest warrants. 99 00:05:44,903 --> 00:05:46,205 I'd rather have the money. 100 00:05:46,371 --> 00:05:48,774 Then what do you say to this?! 101 00:05:49,274 --> 00:05:50,542 Uh, when do I start? 102 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,278 Good! This is where our spies have spotted him. 103 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:56,348 "Lord of the nipple rings. Two nights' video rental"? 104 00:05:56,515 --> 00:05:58,283 Other side, big mouth! 105 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,620 Six, put these coordinates into the computer. 106 00:06:01,854 --> 00:06:05,457 By the way, if you don't succeed, we will kill all of you... 107 00:06:05,591 --> 00:06:07,126 and incinerate your ship! 108 00:06:07,292 --> 00:06:10,996 Ah! Oh, god! No! I'm too young to die! 109 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:13,332 Spare my life and I'll do anything you ask! 110 00:06:13,365 --> 00:06:14,099 Anything! 111 00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,334 Beam us up! 112 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:19,905 Nice game face, Bob. 113 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:27,980 T'nuk? Could you get Bob to slow it down a little? 114 00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:30,649 I'd like to get there in one piece! 115 00:06:30,783 --> 00:06:33,552 Gus, would you tell the captain that I am not speaking to him. 116 00:06:33,819 --> 00:06:36,622 And not to speak to me until he apologizes! 117 00:06:36,755 --> 00:06:39,091 - T'nuk says to tell you-- - I heard her! 118 00:06:39,324 --> 00:06:41,059 I'm sorry about your stupid ugly dolly. 119 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:43,462 Tell him I can't hear him! 120 00:06:43,829 --> 00:06:45,731 Whoa! All right, you win! 121 00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:48,367 I'm sorry about your fucking dolly! 122 00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:51,036 You already had 49 of the same fucking dollies but apparently... 123 00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:52,104 that wasn't enough. 124 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:54,873 You needed the last fucking dolly to make you happy! 125 00:06:55,007 --> 00:06:57,643 I see now that I'm so fucking sorry. 126 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:58,877 Now go fuck yourself! 127 00:06:58,944 --> 00:07:00,546 I accept your apology. 128 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,581 Was that so hard? 129 00:07:02,781 --> 00:07:07,152 Slow down, Bob, or I'll melt ya down and sell ya for scrap! 130 00:07:09,087 --> 00:07:12,357 Captain, we're approaching the coordinates the confederation gave. 131 00:07:12,524 --> 00:07:15,394 I'll transfer a picture of malak on the screen to familiarize the crew. 132 00:07:15,461 --> 00:07:17,296 Don't bother. Everybody knows who he is. 133 00:07:17,463 --> 00:07:20,199 Not me, I wouldn't know him if I fell over him! 134 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,734 I hate sports! I never watch sports and I-- 135 00:07:24,303 --> 00:07:26,205 What a studmuffin! 136 00:07:26,305 --> 00:07:29,408 C'mon Gus. Let's go risk your life and see if we can nab Malak! 137 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:30,476 Thank you. 138 00:07:45,824 --> 00:07:47,726 Uh, hello, uh, Mr. Malak, sir? 139 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,295 Who dares interrupt my workout?! 140 00:07:50,896 --> 00:07:52,931 Uh, mr. Malak, do you remember the old saying 141 00:07:53,065 --> 00:07:55,901 about how if you drop the soap in the shower in front of a gay robot,... 142 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:56,835 don't pick it up? 143 00:07:56,869 --> 00:07:57,703 No. 144 00:07:57,736 --> 00:07:58,570 Good. 145 00:07:58,804 --> 00:07:59,738 Uh, you dropped your soap. 146 00:07:59,772 --> 00:08:00,939 Oh, thank you. 147 00:08:05,711 --> 00:08:06,745 Beam us up, Six! 148 00:08:09,815 --> 00:08:12,151 So, Binks, what's the word on the street? 149 00:08:12,351 --> 00:08:14,286 What street? We're in space. 150 00:08:14,419 --> 00:08:16,488 Yeah ok, wise guy. You know what I mean. 151 00:08:16,722 --> 00:08:18,524 Had any interesting bets lately? 152 00:08:18,657 --> 00:08:19,992 As a matter of fact,... 153 00:08:20,092 --> 00:08:25,431 the Confederation just put down 8 billion on their team to beat the dark clowns in the next game! 154 00:08:25,597 --> 00:08:27,533 Is that so? 155 00:08:27,666 --> 00:08:30,402 They haven't beat the Dark Clowns since Malak retired. 156 00:08:30,502 --> 00:08:32,371 Those poor misguided fools! 157 00:08:32,404 --> 00:08:35,607 Like Malak's gonna appear out of nowhere and play for them! 158 00:08:35,674 --> 00:08:36,975 Fat chance of that happening! 159 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:42,214 Yeah, fat chance is right. The odds against that are running 581 million to one! 160 00:08:42,247 --> 00:08:45,184 The Confederation is gonna lose a bundle! 161 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,486 Yeah still, I'm loyal to the Confederation. 162 00:08:47,953 --> 00:08:50,355 Maybe too loyal, but that's, that's me. 163 00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:51,723 True blue,... 164 00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:53,225 heh! Well... blueish. 165 00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:55,527 I will cast my fate with theirs. 166 00:08:55,694 --> 00:08:58,330 Put me down... put me down for 10,000. 167 00:08:58,464 --> 00:09:00,199 Wow, you're taking quite a risk!! 168 00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:01,200 Tell me about it. 169 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,470 It's the entire ship's junk food budget for the rest of the year! 170 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,504 Transaction complete. 171 00:09:05,537 --> 00:09:09,241 Good luck, sucker 6599702437822. 172 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,643 I got a feeling you know something I don't. 173 00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:15,280 Uh... heh. Me? Inside information? 174 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,816 What do I look like? Martha stewart? 175 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:18,650 Gotta go! 176 00:09:23,489 --> 00:09:25,023 Hey, what are you doing? 177 00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:26,925 I'm giving you a sponge bath. 178 00:09:27,159 --> 00:09:29,461 Oh, but don't worry. I'm a trained nurse! 179 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:32,164 Our relationship is strictly professional. 180 00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:36,535 I just went off duty! 181 00:09:37,102 --> 00:09:38,504 Come on, sport! 182 00:09:38,604 --> 00:09:43,142 How would you like to go deep, and score one in my end zone? 183 00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:53,919 Oh my god! Oh my god! 184 00:09:54,286 --> 00:09:55,387 I broke it! 185 00:09:55,521 --> 00:09:56,822 I broke it! 186 00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:01,960 I killed him! 187 00:10:02,161 --> 00:10:04,263 I guess I was too much woman for him! 188 00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:05,964 Poor inadequate slob. 189 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,933 What a touching eulogy. 190 00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:11,737 Hey! You just met the guy! 191 00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,872 Captain, it's nothing sexual. 192 00:10:14,039 --> 00:10:16,742 It's fibre optics. Just as I suspected. 193 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:17,943 He was a robot. 194 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,980 Why was the confederation bringing back a robot? 195 00:10:22,281 --> 00:10:24,450 That way they had no chance of losing the game. 196 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,952 And, if it got out that it was all a cheat,... 197 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,520 I would be the fall guy. 198 00:10:28,654 --> 00:10:30,923 I don't think those confederation dudes are gonna like... 199 00:10:30,989 --> 00:10:32,391 the fact we offed their robot. 200 00:10:32,491 --> 00:10:34,093 Not we, she. 201 00:10:34,226 --> 00:10:37,996 And I will be glad to testify to that fact at her execution. 202 00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:40,732 I myself am totally innocent in all of this. 203 00:10:40,899 --> 00:10:42,434 I wish you all well. 204 00:10:42,468 --> 00:10:43,469 Adieu. 205 00:10:44,136 --> 00:10:45,304 Nobody's jumpin' this ship! 206 00:10:45,504 --> 00:10:48,574 It's time you people listened to the voice of reason. 207 00:10:48,674 --> 00:10:49,908 We're all gonna die! 208 00:10:50,075 --> 00:10:51,343 We're all gonna die! 209 00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:54,680 They'll hunt us like animals no matter where we go in the galaxy! 210 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,081 Hold on there a minute! 211 00:10:56,315 --> 00:10:58,183 I'm not captain for nothing! 212 00:10:58,617 --> 00:10:59,952 He's right, we're doomed. 213 00:10:59,985 --> 00:11:02,788 I have a poison capsule for each one of you in my pocket. 214 00:11:02,921 --> 00:11:04,456 Please form a single line. 215 00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:07,960 What if we kidnap the real Malak and convince him to play? 216 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,662 That's it! I knew I'd think of something. 217 00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:12,598 Never give up hope, people! 218 00:11:13,932 --> 00:11:16,969 I can't find any trace of the real Malak anywhere! 219 00:11:18,103 --> 00:11:19,104 Wait a minute,... 220 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,806 I think I may have located him. 221 00:11:20,873 --> 00:11:21,807 Where? Where is he? 222 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:22,975 According to my data,... 223 00:11:23,008 --> 00:11:26,411 there's an out-of-control party happening on planet Snortaline. 224 00:11:26,445 --> 00:11:28,280 With hookers, underage groupies,... 225 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,581 illegitimate children,... 226 00:11:29,681 --> 00:11:31,750 and hundreds of freeloading posse members. 227 00:11:31,784 --> 00:11:34,386 Neighbouring planets have already called the cops 14 times. 228 00:11:34,553 --> 00:11:35,621 Yeah, that's it! 229 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,390 That's where I'd be if I was an overpaid sports star! 230 00:11:38,724 --> 00:11:41,326 Bob! Take us there right away! 231 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,861 I need to take 5. 232 00:11:42,895 --> 00:11:44,730 I just can't handle all this stress. 233 00:11:44,963 --> 00:11:48,534 Hey, I screwed a robot to death and I'm still on the job! 234 00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:50,102 All right! All right! 235 00:12:10,122 --> 00:12:12,858 Now this is what I call a party! 236 00:12:12,891 --> 00:12:14,860 I'm just glad we didn't bring whip. 237 00:12:15,094 --> 00:12:16,061 You're right. 238 00:12:16,161 --> 00:12:18,730 The kid's way too immature for this scene. 239 00:12:20,232 --> 00:12:20,933 Who's your daddy?! 240 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,568 Who's your daddy?! 241 00:12:22,668 --> 00:12:24,169 Captain! Focus! 242 00:12:24,203 --> 00:12:27,606 We've got to find Malak and get him to the stadium in less than an hour... 243 00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,274 or we'll all die! 244 00:12:29,675 --> 00:12:31,543 Oh yeah, that. 245 00:12:31,743 --> 00:12:33,879 We desperately need a plan here, folks. 246 00:12:34,012 --> 00:12:37,182 Gus, if you don't mind, I'm in charge. Back off! 247 00:12:37,483 --> 00:12:41,453 Ok! Now, we desperately need a plan here, folks. 248 00:12:41,487 --> 00:12:44,756 I say we go over to that empty bean bag sofa... 249 00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:47,526 and sit there until I come up with one. 250 00:12:48,627 --> 00:12:49,962 God, this thing is ugly! 251 00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:52,931 It is odd that with all his endorsement money,... 252 00:12:52,965 --> 00:12:54,733 he didn't buy something nicer. 253 00:12:57,436 --> 00:13:00,405 The arm on this thing smells like wicked B.O. 254 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,209 What's the big idea?! 255 00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:07,379 Malak! Is that you? 256 00:13:07,613 --> 00:13:09,915 Sorry, no autographs. 257 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,256 Malak! What have they done to you? 258 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,893 Turned him into a multi-billionaire for starters! 259 00:13:21,126 --> 00:13:22,628 I'm Katherine Malak,... 260 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:23,629 his wife. 261 00:13:23,662 --> 00:13:25,364 My friends call me kitty. 262 00:13:25,397 --> 00:13:27,132 But you're not my friends. 263 00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:28,834 You're not even invited guests! 264 00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:33,439 That's why I'm gonna have my boys here break every bone in your bodies! 265 00:13:33,472 --> 00:13:35,374 Technically I don't have any bones,... 266 00:13:35,407 --> 00:13:38,243 I'm a robot. So I'll just show myself out. 267 00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:39,845 Or not. 268 00:13:41,346 --> 00:13:42,581 Say something. 269 00:13:43,816 --> 00:13:45,517 Look, we don't want any trouble. 270 00:13:45,551 --> 00:13:47,119 I'd better warn you people,... 271 00:13:47,152 --> 00:13:48,554 I got a purple belt. 272 00:13:48,587 --> 00:13:50,122 In what?! 273 00:13:50,422 --> 00:13:52,724 In my drawer at home. 274 00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:55,761 It goes with my purple shirt and my purple pants. 275 00:13:56,161 --> 00:13:59,164 Actually, we're here on official business. 276 00:13:59,198 --> 00:14:00,866 Why didn't you say so! 277 00:14:00,899 --> 00:14:04,203 If you're here to do business, you're talking to the right person. 278 00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:06,672 I'm president of Malak industries. 279 00:14:06,939 --> 00:14:11,043 I've got his face on everything from t-shirts to toilet paper. 280 00:14:11,276 --> 00:14:12,778 So, whaddaya got? 281 00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:15,447 To tell you the truth, the Confederation sent us... 282 00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:19,017 to ask Malak to play one last game against the Dark Clowns. 283 00:14:19,051 --> 00:14:20,886 A comeback, huh? 284 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,055 I knew this day would come! 285 00:14:23,088 --> 00:14:24,490 So, what's the offer? 286 00:14:24,523 --> 00:14:25,991 A billion? A trillion? 287 00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:28,393 Actually it's closer to uh... zero. 288 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:30,095 What was that?! 289 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:30,996 Uh, zero. 290 00:14:31,063 --> 00:14:32,397 Come again?! 291 00:14:32,464 --> 00:14:34,233 What he's trying to say is,... 292 00:14:34,266 --> 00:14:35,334 it's a freebie. 293 00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:36,502 A freebie?! 294 00:14:36,802 --> 00:14:38,604 A freebie? 295 00:14:40,739 --> 00:14:42,775 A freebie? 296 00:14:53,385 --> 00:14:55,387 Ok, people, show's over. 297 00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:58,657 The lady had one too many. We've all been there. 298 00:14:58,824 --> 00:15:00,058 Let's get kidnapping! 299 00:15:00,092 --> 00:15:01,193 Beam us on board, T'Nuk! 300 00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:10,569 Confederation ship approaching! 301 00:15:10,602 --> 00:15:12,805 Confederation ship approaching! 302 00:15:13,005 --> 00:15:14,740 Stall 'em, T'Nuk! Stall 'em! 303 00:15:16,508 --> 00:15:17,576 Where's Malak?! 304 00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:20,412 He's in the little boys' room. 305 00:15:20,446 --> 00:15:21,947 Energize photon torpedoes! 306 00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:24,183 I'll show you malak! I know where he is! 307 00:15:24,349 --> 00:15:26,585 Bob! No! 308 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,221 Are you all right, Malak? 309 00:15:29,822 --> 00:15:31,190 I'm ready to play! 310 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,561 Something doesn't seem right here. 311 00:15:35,594 --> 00:15:38,063 Sir, we're approaching the stadium. 312 00:15:38,297 --> 00:15:41,467 I thought the Confederation didn't want people to know... 313 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,402 they had anything to do with,... 314 00:15:43,435 --> 00:15:44,803 an illegal kidnapping? 315 00:15:44,837 --> 00:15:45,604 That's right! 316 00:15:45,637 --> 00:15:47,706 Don't call us, we'll call you! 317 00:15:55,447 --> 00:15:56,548 What are we gonna do? 318 00:15:56,582 --> 00:15:58,317 The game's gonna start any minute! 319 00:15:58,350 --> 00:16:01,086 We could inject adrenaline directly into his heart. 320 00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:05,023 That would wake him up and put him in the right physical state to compete. 321 00:16:05,124 --> 00:16:06,692 Great! Gimme the needle! 322 00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:10,829 I have to warn you sir that that kind of maneuver puts incredible stress on the heart. 323 00:16:10,863 --> 00:16:12,164 Thanks for the warning, Six. 324 00:16:12,197 --> 00:16:14,967 You probably just saved my precious life. 325 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,935 She meant Malak's heart. 326 00:16:17,302 --> 00:16:18,570 Will he still be able to play? 327 00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:19,505 Yes. 328 00:16:19,705 --> 00:16:21,607 Ok. That's all I wanted to know. 329 00:16:24,243 --> 00:16:27,312 I'm ready to play! 330 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:32,618 Ungowa! Ungowa! Bring on that Dark Clown power! 331 00:16:32,651 --> 00:16:37,222 We'll cheat 'em, beat 'em, we'll kill and eat 'em! Yaaaaaay clowns! 332 00:16:37,322 --> 00:16:39,892 Hello again, folks! I'm Harry Balsak. 333 00:16:40,092 --> 00:16:42,194 Yes! And I'm Marv Alien. 334 00:16:42,494 --> 00:16:44,830 Marv, can't you just feel the excitement here today? 335 00:16:44,897 --> 00:16:46,131 You could cut it with a knife! 336 00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:48,434 Yes! Or a chainsaw! 337 00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:52,471 Which reminds me, today's game is brought to you by the good people at Blackhole and Pecker,... 338 00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:55,507 makers of fine chainsaws for over 300 years! 339 00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:57,976 Talk about a corporation with a conscience! 340 00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:00,479 They've got the dying wish kids here today! 341 00:17:00,612 --> 00:17:04,550 Yes! And they've given them all complimentary miniature chainsaws! 342 00:17:08,187 --> 00:17:10,556 When a huge corporation cares that much,... 343 00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:12,724 it shows you their heart's in the right place! 344 00:17:13,592 --> 00:17:17,863 Yes! Even though it is tax deductible, and worth its weight in gold in good P.R.,... 345 00:17:17,963 --> 00:17:19,865 I still have goosebumps! 346 00:17:20,032 --> 00:17:23,669 Let's hope this helps Blackhole and pecker counter all that bad press they got... 347 00:17:23,702 --> 00:17:27,372 from that class action suit involving those 10,000 accidental chainsaw deaths! 348 00:17:29,475 --> 00:17:31,844 Yes! It looks like the teams are ready to mix it up! 349 00:17:41,086 --> 00:17:42,721 I feel for the confederation. 350 00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:45,224 They don't stand a chance against those sneaky Dark Clowns... 351 00:17:45,324 --> 00:17:46,992 and their dirty tricks. 352 00:17:52,664 --> 00:17:56,935 You gotta hand it to those Dark Clowns. They aren't afraid to have a little fun! 353 00:17:57,669 --> 00:18:02,007 I'd say it's a dark day for the Confederation. A Dark Clown day. 354 00:18:04,009 --> 00:18:06,712 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Could it be? 355 00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:08,113 Do my eyes deceive me?! 356 00:18:08,247 --> 00:18:11,683 Yes! I mean, no! It's him! 357 00:18:11,784 --> 00:18:14,219 The one! The only! Malak!! 358 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:11,944 The mighty Malak has fallen,... 359 00:19:12,010 --> 00:19:13,979 never to get up again. 360 00:19:14,113 --> 00:19:16,915 Yes! But what a way to go, harry! 361 00:19:17,082 --> 00:19:19,051 He died with his jockstrap on! 362 00:19:19,151 --> 00:19:20,953 Every athlete's dream! 363 00:19:22,154 --> 00:19:24,623 What a happy day for Malak this must be! 364 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:28,627 Yes! But what a sad day for Blackhole and Pecker. 365 00:19:28,694 --> 00:19:30,963 They just lost their spokesperson! 366 00:19:31,029 --> 00:19:31,964 Speaking of sad,... 367 00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:35,267 I've just been told that Malak's grieving widow is in the stands right now! 368 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,136 I wonder how she's holding up? 369 00:19:37,269 --> 00:19:38,303 Show me the money! 370 00:19:38,437 --> 00:19:40,038 Show me the money! 371 00:19:40,272 --> 00:19:45,544 How much do I hear for the rights to the tv movie about this great man's life? 372 00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:47,346 I got one million here. 373 00:19:47,446 --> 00:19:48,647 Two million up there! 374 00:19:48,781 --> 00:19:50,983 I got 3 from the guy in the corner! 375 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,185 What a brave, brave lady! 376 00:19:53,352 --> 00:19:55,187 You know what the best part of this is Marv? 377 00:19:55,354 --> 00:19:57,790 Yes! I mean, no. 378 00:19:57,956 --> 00:20:00,225 That those dying wish kids were here today... 379 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:04,062 to see their hero score the big one in heaven. 380 00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:04,930 Yes! 381 00:20:05,197 --> 00:20:09,101 This certainly is a wonderful memory the kids can take home with them! 382 00:20:09,134 --> 00:20:11,270 I got his finger! 383 00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:14,239 I got an ear! 384 00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:16,542 Uh, Bob, does warp speed work in reverse? 385 00:20:16,575 --> 00:20:20,245 Yeah, it does. But only when a Confederation cruiser... 386 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:23,348 is not parked directly behind me blocking my way. 387 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:24,883 Now, before you say anything,... 388 00:20:24,983 --> 00:20:25,717 I want you to know... 389 00:20:25,818 --> 00:20:28,120 that my crew is totally responsible for the mix-up... 390 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:30,022 and they just feel awful about it. 391 00:20:30,155 --> 00:20:31,890 And they are willing to do whatever it takes,... 392 00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:33,492 including die a horrible death,... 393 00:20:33,725 --> 00:20:34,660 to make it right. 394 00:20:34,827 --> 00:20:36,361 Lucky for you, due to Malak's death,... 395 00:20:36,462 --> 00:20:38,363 the game was called and all bets are off. 396 00:20:38,764 --> 00:20:41,033 Well, all's well that ends well! 397 00:20:48,273 --> 00:20:49,174 What? 398 00:20:49,274 --> 00:20:52,344 You were ready to send us to our deaths just minutes ago! 399 00:20:52,444 --> 00:20:54,480 How can we ever forget that?! 400 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,182 How about I order a couple of pizzas with everything,... 401 00:20:57,282 --> 00:20:58,283 get a keg of beer... 402 00:20:58,450 --> 00:21:00,452 and rent a bunch of pornos?! 403 00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:02,721 Consider it forgotten! 404 00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:10,095 Transcription VO : -= ( www.sadgeezer.com )=- 405 00:21:10,129 --> 00:21:11,096 Synchro: Travis (www.forom.com) Fixed for DVD: jrzac 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net