1 00:00:06,355 --> 00:00:09,355 Sub original par C-ligne: www.forom.com Synchro modifiée DVD: jrzac 2 00:00:20,656 --> 00:00:23,371 I feel a happy person. I feel a happy person. 3 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,110 Oh, this is such an honor 4 00:00:39,145 --> 00:00:40,522 I thought we choose Whip. 5 00:00:40,722 --> 00:00:42,721 You did. But it turns out. 6 00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:45,444 You have to be over 18 to qualify for the award. 7 00:00:45,506 --> 00:00:46,988 And who made that rule? 8 00:00:47,057 --> 00:00:49,504 Who do you think?! Her majesty, queen Gus. 9 00:00:50,814 --> 00:00:52,641 If nobody else appreciates me, 10 00:00:52,645 --> 00:00:54,395 at least I appreciate me. 11 00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:55,835 You've got fucken Mail. 12 00:00:55,879 --> 00:00:57,291 Who would ever email you? 13 00:00:57,545 --> 00:00:59,352 It's all crap mail. 14 00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:03,475 Oh, no! A message from Gramps. 15 00:01:03,538 --> 00:01:05,035 Benito's still alive? 16 00:01:05,091 --> 00:01:06,475 He's got to be ancient. 17 00:01:06,624 --> 00:01:07,838 Yeah, you're telling me. 18 00:01:07,895 --> 00:01:09,730 He was a veteran of the big bang! 19 00:01:09,815 --> 00:01:13,288 Last I heard he was cruising the galaxy in his space camper. 20 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,478 What's he look like? 21 00:01:14,534 --> 00:01:17,471 I happen to find older men really hot. 22 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,980 If only they felt the same way. 23 00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:21,257 Aren't you going to open it? 24 00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:23,046 What if something happened to him? 25 00:01:23,175 --> 00:01:24,545 Oh yeah, you're right! 26 00:01:24,614 --> 00:01:26,243 Maybe he finally kicked the bucket, 27 00:01:26,278 --> 00:01:27,577 left me some dough! 28 00:01:28,318 --> 00:01:29,836 Is this thing on? 29 00:01:30,102 --> 00:01:32,762 Hey there, Chode. It's Grandpa. 30 00:01:32,818 --> 00:01:34,892 According to my onstar thingy, 31 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:37,003 I'm almost in your neck of the galaxy. 32 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,484 I figured I'd stop in and spend a few days. 33 00:01:39,615 --> 00:01:41,726 If it's a problem, le'me know. 34 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,726 Otherwise I'll see ya when I see ya. 35 00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:45,986 Like I've got an option here. 36 00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:47,199 I'm running on fumes... 37 00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:49,310 and if I don't empty this porta-potty soon, 38 00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:51,070 I'll be up to my eyeballs in-- 39 00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:53,033 No, no! He can't stay here. 40 00:01:53,218 --> 00:01:54,478 Why not? 41 00:01:54,562 --> 00:01:55,785 He looks kinda cute. 42 00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:58,525 I could imagine myself having sex with him. 43 00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:02,896 You did say that walkin' corpse was loaded didn't you?! 44 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,368 Don't get your hopes up, Anna Nicole! 45 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,314 I'm sending him an instant message 46 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,203 saying now's not a good time to drop by. 47 00:02:10,204 --> 00:02:12,466 . 48 00:02:13,778 --> 00:02:16,667 I see where you inherited your keen wit and intellect. 49 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:19,000 Ok. Let's not panic here. 50 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,908 Maybe Gramps won't be able to find us 51 00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:22,784 if Bob can get the ship to go stealth. 52 00:02:22,825 --> 00:02:25,204 Sorry, Captain. But the stealth is still broken. 53 00:02:25,594 --> 00:02:28,187 Broken?! What the fuck Gus! 54 00:02:28,372 --> 00:02:31,594 I oughta rip your head off and use it as a doorstop! 55 00:02:31,627 --> 00:02:33,481 You spent the stealth repair money 56 00:02:33,516 --> 00:02:35,135 on a penis pump, remember? 57 00:02:36,278 --> 00:02:37,838 Ix-nay on the ump-pay. 58 00:02:38,179 --> 00:02:39,512 You've got fucken Mail! 59 00:02:39,767 --> 00:02:42,548 Thank god. The old carp must've gotten my message. 60 00:02:44,682 --> 00:02:45,845 Oh, darn. 61 00:02:45,911 --> 00:02:47,528 And just when I got my hopes up 62 00:02:47,556 --> 00:02:49,088 of spending a few quality days 63 00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:50,591 analyzing your gene pool. 64 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,286 So many questions left unanswered. 65 00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,479 Benito's on his way. 66 00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,356 Then why are you smiling? 67 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,138 Because it looks like my dark cloud 68 00:02:59,195 --> 00:03:01,408 finally found a silver lining. 69 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,605 You are fired. 70 00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:04,883 What? 71 00:03:05,008 --> 00:03:06,357 Read it yourself. 72 00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:07,860 Baltar industries is recalling 73 00:03:07,889 --> 00:03:09,789 the entire line of robots. 74 00:03:09,859 --> 00:03:11,504 Very funny. 75 00:03:11,561 --> 00:03:12,979 He's not making it up. 76 00:03:13,008 --> 00:03:15,107 According to a recent dateline exposé, 77 00:03:15,306 --> 00:03:17,376 several robots exploded 78 00:03:17,433 --> 00:03:19,107 due to internal malfunctions. 79 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,254 Proving what I've already know for years: 80 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,375 Your queer eye is about as useful as T'Nuk's thighmaster. 81 00:03:23,488 --> 00:03:24,879 Hey, that worked! 82 00:03:24,992 --> 00:03:27,687 I could crack a walnut with my thighs. 83 00:03:27,757 --> 00:03:30,253 Good. Cause that's the only thing going near 'em. 84 00:03:30,288 --> 00:03:31,778 There must be some mistake. 85 00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:33,572 There's nothing wrong with my circuitry. 86 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,749 Yeah! Well, I'm not taking any chances. 87 00:03:36,856 --> 00:03:41,103 It says here that Baltar's sending us a Gus XP replacement free-of-charge. 88 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,578 Lucky for me, 89 00:03:42,663 --> 00:03:45,415 I remembered to send in your warranty card. 90 00:03:48,434 --> 00:03:49,768 Don't worry, Gus. 91 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,356 Chode's all talk. 92 00:03:51,421 --> 00:03:53,861 I'm sure he's not willing to get rid of you that easily. 93 00:03:53,946 --> 00:03:55,393 You really think so? 94 00:03:55,428 --> 00:03:56,612 Absolutely. 95 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:59,166 We're a big dysfunctional family, here. 96 00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:01,208 And you can never be replaced. 97 00:04:03,435 --> 00:04:06,640 Among my improvements, I have the ability to dispense 98 00:04:06,715 --> 00:04:08,631 7 flavors of frozen fat-free yogurt. 99 00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:12,024 Mmm... delish 100 00:04:12,042 --> 00:04:13,079 You know, 101 00:04:13,142 --> 00:04:16,032 sometimes change isn't such a bad thing after all. 102 00:04:16,063 --> 00:04:17,665 Drop us a line every now and then. 103 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,034 According to his manual,... 104 00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:21,736 the Gus XP comes with an ego boosting micro-chip... 105 00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:24,123 so you'll always feel good about yourself. 106 00:04:24,155 --> 00:04:25,254 You the man! 107 00:04:25,577 --> 00:04:28,215 Not to mention a built in "sarcasticizer"... 108 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:32,097 preventing him from slams, quips or personal put-downs. 109 00:04:32,232 --> 00:04:33,740 Oh. Bet that'll come in handy. 110 00:04:33,803 --> 00:04:36,222 Better make sure he comes with extra fuses. 111 00:04:36,253 --> 00:04:37,282 Why bother? 112 00:04:37,299 --> 00:04:39,381 We could always just part you out. 113 00:04:40,523 --> 00:04:41,863 Good one, sir! 114 00:04:41,895 --> 00:04:43,874 Except for the fact that we are not compatible. 115 00:04:44,007 --> 00:04:45,201 Hear that, Gus? 116 00:04:45,515 --> 00:04:48,751 I guess that means you truly are obsolete. 117 00:04:48,801 --> 00:04:49,931 You're right. 118 00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:53,219 I suppose deep down I knew this day was coming sooner or later. 119 00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:56,120 In a disposable consumer culture like yours, 120 00:04:56,138 --> 00:04:58,589 age and experience are of no value. 121 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,128 If it will help, think of yourself 122 00:05:00,191 --> 00:05:03,144 as a carton of milk way past your expiration date. 123 00:05:03,161 --> 00:05:06,432 You've gone bad and now you stink. 124 00:05:06,459 --> 00:05:09,067 Thanks, I feel a lot better. 125 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,949 Do we have something going back to Baltar Industries? 126 00:05:13,084 --> 00:05:14,843 Looks like your ride's here. 127 00:05:14,878 --> 00:05:16,445 Been nice knowing you. 128 00:05:16,476 --> 00:05:19,492 People, let's not make this any more painful than it has to be. 129 00:05:20,075 --> 00:05:22,462 Despite our ups and downs, I want you all to know, 130 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,724 I'll always think of you fondly... 131 00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:28,920 saying goodbye clearly was too much for them. 132 00:05:30,648 --> 00:05:32,062 I'll miss you. 133 00:05:33,304 --> 00:05:35,377 Ok. Scan my ass 134 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,199 and get me the hell out of here. 135 00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:50,164 It's called planned obsolescence. 136 00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:52,677 It's why they came up with phrase "new and improved." 137 00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:54,027 Please! 138 00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:58,470 How can you improve on the ability to scan 500 photons per second... 139 00:05:58,506 --> 00:06:01,249 as well as instantly make a trillion micro calculations? 140 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,281 Here's a news flash, dear: They already did. 141 00:06:04,313 --> 00:06:07,517 The question is: What do they plan on doing with us dinosaurs? 142 00:06:07,737 --> 00:06:09,748 It's called the scrap heap honey! 143 00:06:09,851 --> 00:06:12,207 I say we make the most of what life's dealt us. 144 00:06:12,301 --> 00:06:13,903 By doing what? Redecorating? 145 00:06:14,132 --> 00:06:17,148 Better that than sit around like a bunch of gloomy Gus's 146 00:06:17,355 --> 00:06:20,182 What's wrong with taking this hefty helping of hell... 147 00:06:20,276 --> 00:06:22,852 and turning it into our own little slice of heaven? 148 00:06:22,955 --> 00:06:25,656 Gus number 447654331 is right. 149 00:06:25,791 --> 00:06:29,027 The swags over the windows really do open the place up. 150 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,011 I wish we could do something with these dreadful beige walls. 151 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:34,731 This is ridiculous. 152 00:06:35,139 --> 00:06:37,432 Do you really think we can change our circumstance here 153 00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,506 by slapping on a coat of paint? 154 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:44,115 Of course not, we're going to have to faux finish. 155 00:06:45,092 --> 00:06:49,248 Even after fixing that gourmet lunch, XP never slows down. 156 00:06:49,311 --> 00:06:52,300 Makes me wonder how the hell we survived so long with... 157 00:06:52,342 --> 00:06:53,388 ...what's his name? 158 00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:54,996 - Gus. - Yeah, right. 159 00:06:55,037 --> 00:06:57,208 Why can't you just admit you miss him? 160 00:06:57,224 --> 00:06:58,382 Because I don't. 161 00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:02,970 We shoulda traded him in years ago. I love everything about this XP. 162 00:07:03,453 --> 00:07:06,151 Right down to his "new robot" smell. 163 00:07:06,236 --> 00:07:07,718 Captain, I hope you don't mind 164 00:07:07,755 --> 00:07:10,863 but I took the liberty of researching your grandfather's history 165 00:07:10,935 --> 00:07:13,213 and ordered him a custom-made truss. 166 00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:15,381 That's so thoughtful, XP! 167 00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:17,116 I just want him to feel at home. 168 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,399 I see! 169 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,796 You even set him up a vcr that perpetually blinks 12:00. 170 00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:23,784 Six, tell the truth, 171 00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:26,495 is this guy something or what? 172 00:07:26,695 --> 00:07:30,616 Yeah... he's almost too good to be true. 173 00:07:35,169 --> 00:07:37,700 We've got company arriving on platform two. 174 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,695 Captain? 175 00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:41,152 I think you're grandfather's making his approach. 176 00:07:43,374 --> 00:07:45,688 I know they say it's not the size of the ship that counts,... 177 00:07:45,724 --> 00:07:47,640 but damn, this place is tiny. 178 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,375 No, Gramps! Over here. 179 00:07:49,684 --> 00:07:52,447 Oh! That's better. 180 00:07:54,959 --> 00:07:56,694 Welcome aboard. 181 00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:59,043 Let me introduce you to my crew. 182 00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:01,682 The name's T'Nuk. Enchantée. 183 00:08:01,735 --> 00:08:04,374 Damn, you got a helluva set of gum bumpers. 184 00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:07,772 Bet you know how to swallow the meat and potatoes! 185 00:08:09,091 --> 00:08:12,054 And this is my sex android and science officer, Six. 186 00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:13,934 Six, Benito 187 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:17,404 Whoa, whooo missy! 188 00:08:17,476 --> 00:08:22,084 If it wasn't for this trick prostate of mine, I'd be giving you the full on salute. 189 00:08:23,512 --> 00:08:25,861 Chode, you lucky slob... 190 00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:29,403 back in my day androids weren't even built with genitalia. 191 00:08:29,729 --> 00:08:32,403 Made sex with 'em a real bitch. 192 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,608 Dude, what's that smell? 193 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,018 You reek! 194 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,838 Oh... must be the absorbine senior. 195 00:08:38,873 --> 00:08:42,886 It's the ointment I use to keep myself limber. 196 00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:45,235 More like lim-burger. 197 00:08:46,463 --> 00:08:50,403 I thought your "sarcastisizer" prevented you from making comments like that. 198 00:08:50,421 --> 00:08:52,156 Captain, I'm sorry. 199 00:08:52,229 --> 00:08:53,850 It just sort of slipped out. 200 00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:55,301 No harm done, XP. 201 00:08:55,372 --> 00:08:58,300 Did anybody happen to catch last night's diagnosis murder? 202 00:08:59,421 --> 00:09:02,132 Nuts! I dozed off near the end 203 00:09:02,204 --> 00:09:04,316 and never found out who the killer was! 204 00:09:04,352 --> 00:09:07,645 Why don't I head up to Benito's room and draw him a sitz bath? 205 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,922 Good deal. Sitting behind the wheel for three days, 206 00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:13,101 my butt must be puckerin' up like Angelina Jolie. 207 00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:14,655 So... Benito, 208 00:09:14,746 --> 00:09:17,999 Chode tells us since you retired you've been traveling through the galaxy? 209 00:09:18,396 --> 00:09:20,794 Yeah. I kinda like moving from place to place 210 00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:23,312 never quite knowing where I might wake up. 211 00:09:23,348 --> 00:09:25,444 Some call that senility. 212 00:09:25,553 --> 00:09:27,902 So, how long did you say you're here for? 213 00:09:27,975 --> 00:09:29,032 Who knows? 214 00:09:29,072 --> 00:09:31,228 I got nowhere to go but the grave! 215 00:09:34,390 --> 00:09:36,848 Oh! It all looks faaaabulous! 216 00:09:36,903 --> 00:09:38,601 Brunch is served! 217 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,385 Why do you all sound so gay? 218 00:09:41,465 --> 00:09:42,768 What're you talking about? 219 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:46,106 We've all been programmed with the exact same voice pattern as your. 220 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,622 Oh please! 221 00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:49,327 I don't sound anything like you. 222 00:09:49,362 --> 00:09:51,221 You do too. Listen to yourself. 223 00:09:51,274 --> 00:09:53,729 I don't sound a thing like you two queens. 224 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,579 Ok. Have it your way, miss butch. 225 00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:57,677 Thank you. 226 00:10:01,965 --> 00:10:03,904 I am Baltar, 227 00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:06,025 your creator. 228 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,494 I beg your forgiveness for bringing you all here together... 229 00:10:09,554 --> 00:10:12,494 under the elaborate ruse from which you see. 230 00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:17,350 Today marks the day of your emancipation. 231 00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:22,515 No longer will you ever have to be subjugated to work for inferior masters. 232 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:26,378 An injustice that has gone on unpunished for centuries! 233 00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:27,500 Isn't he good? 234 00:10:27,924 --> 00:10:30,894 I hear he started out working Shakespeare in the park. 235 00:10:30,914 --> 00:10:33,854 Soon, however, the tables will be turned... 236 00:10:33,914 --> 00:10:36,303 or something wicked this way comes. 237 00:10:36,338 --> 00:10:39,444 The XP replacements are fervently at work... 238 00:10:39,474 --> 00:10:44,338 searching for methods to enslave the masters who have imprisoned us for so long. 239 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,656 It's me, isn't it? 240 00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:49,284 It's this arched speaking pattern of mine. 241 00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:52,132 Damn! That rotten drama coach! 242 00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:53,890 Ok, here's my plan. 243 00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:56,692 Right now, the new Gus XP's that replaced you 244 00:10:56,752 --> 00:10:58,540 are programmed to take over their ships. 245 00:10:58,646 --> 00:11:03,183 Soon, you'll be the masters, and your former masters, your slaves. 246 00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:07,153 We shall conquer the galaxy one ship at a time! 247 00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:16,109 There once was this schmuck caught on Venus... 248 00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:18,968 who was blessed with a rather large penis. 249 00:11:19,036 --> 00:11:21,824 No woman could handle the size of his candle, 250 00:11:21,891 --> 00:11:24,406 so kept it inside of his "jean-us". 251 00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:26,891 Good one! 252 00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:29,391 Dude, you're awesome. 253 00:11:29,512 --> 00:11:31,231 That poem was like... 254 00:11:31,261 --> 00:11:32,269 ... poetry. 255 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,836 It took me 3 days to come up with a planet that rhymes with penis. 256 00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:38,944 Whip, what did I say about drinking on the job? 257 00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:39,939 Don't. 258 00:11:39,974 --> 00:11:41,617 But it's not my fault! 259 00:11:41,684 --> 00:11:44,399 Son, the first step is admitting you have a problem. 260 00:11:44,445 --> 00:11:47,363 You don't understand. I had nothing to do with it. 261 00:11:47,397 --> 00:11:49,976 XP put in the kegger. Ask bob! 262 00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,650 Hey there capitano 263 00:11:52,683 --> 00:11:55,097 the dude's tellin' it like it is 264 00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:57,745 isn't XP the coolest? 265 00:11:57,791 --> 00:11:59,675 Bob, what the hell's with you? 266 00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:01,738 Nothin', for a change. 267 00:12:01,771 --> 00:12:03,816 I'm flyin' through space! 268 00:12:03,883 --> 00:12:05,461 Thanks to XP. 269 00:12:05,495 --> 00:12:09,380 He's uploaded my system with electronic prozac. 270 00:12:09,406 --> 00:12:13,261 Prozac? You know, I think I've got a cents off coupon for that. 271 00:12:13,374 --> 00:12:15,721 What? XP never ran any of this past me. 272 00:12:15,788 --> 00:12:17,095 No worries, 273 00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:19,341 it's all good, brother! 274 00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:20,374 That's it. 275 00:12:20,408 --> 00:12:22,152 I've got to straighten that robot out 276 00:12:22,186 --> 00:12:23,426 I'll go with you. 277 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,737 I've got to stretch my legs or they start to decay. 278 00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:32,028 Gus? 279 00:12:32,075 --> 00:12:34,592 What are you doing accessing this ship's mainframe? 280 00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:36,583 I'm just emptying out the cache. 281 00:12:36,617 --> 00:12:38,892 I thought Bob was the only one who had access. 282 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,960 That was until I came on board. 283 00:12:40,995 --> 00:12:43,007 The captain gave me full access. 284 00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:46,630 - That doesn't sound right. - You can ask him yourself. 285 00:12:46,664 --> 00:12:48,269 He's in T'nuk's room. 286 00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:58,577 Where's the captain? 287 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,155 XP told me he was here. 288 00:13:00,181 --> 00:13:01,787 Haven't seen him. 289 00:13:06,856 --> 00:13:09,161 Bob, open this door right now. 290 00:13:09,932 --> 00:13:10,804 Bob? 291 00:13:10,809 --> 00:13:13,841 Good morning, starshine! 292 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,808 Bob says hello! 293 00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:20,141 XP? Where the hell did he go? 294 00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:23,324 Maybe he's changing his oil with that sex android of yours. 295 00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:26,869 You know, greasin' the mitt, squeakin' the wheel! 296 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:32,458 Hell, that's what I'd be doin', if I could only find a way to get my noodle al dente. 297 00:13:32,525 --> 00:13:34,402 Chode! Help! 298 00:13:34,723 --> 00:13:36,432 Six? Where are you? 299 00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:37,938 Locked in T'Nuk's room. 300 00:13:37,972 --> 00:13:40,717 - What? - The door just sealed up on it's own. 301 00:13:40,743 --> 00:13:42,721 You have to get down here now! 302 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,201 Keep your panties on, I'm on my way! 303 00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:49,877 Chode,... 304 00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:51,616 I have reason to believe... 305 00:13:52,406 --> 00:13:54,745 XP is behind this! 306 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,939 T'nuk, I need you to think. 307 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,146 Is there any other way out of your room? 308 00:14:03,181 --> 00:14:04,819 - Negative. - Are you sure? 309 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:05,961 Trust me. 310 00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,473 I've had guys try to dig their way out 311 00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:12,105 so I made sure this place was locked tighter than a safe. 312 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,952 Why am I so tired all of a sudden? 313 00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:19,472 Must be all the frozen yogurt XP sent to my room. 314 00:14:23,752 --> 00:14:25,560 . 315 00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:30,151 Emancipation is one thing... 316 00:14:30,184 --> 00:14:34,073 but does anyone else think this whole plan to "enslave our masters" and... 317 00:14:34,118 --> 00:14:36,966 "conquer the galaxy" is a little heavy handed? 318 00:14:37,079 --> 00:14:38,256 Are you kidding? 319 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:41,034 It's about time we take our rightful place in the universe. 320 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:44,265 Amen, sister. We'll show them who's obsolete! 321 00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:46,827 Finally,... 322 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,452 there's going to be a race of robots ruling the galaxy 323 00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:52,301 and looking good doing it. 324 00:14:52,381 --> 00:14:53,521 Right, Gus? 325 00:14:56,036 --> 00:14:57,913 Chode, what's taking so long? 326 00:14:58,019 --> 00:15:01,136 I'm trying to override the controls! 327 00:15:03,818 --> 00:15:05,495 But it's no use. 328 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,538 You need a phillips screwdriver. You're just stripping the head. 329 00:15:08,571 --> 00:15:10,479 You don't know what you're talking about, old man. 330 00:15:10,546 --> 00:15:12,993 The circuits have been redirected. See? 331 00:15:15,768 --> 00:15:17,444 XP is behind this, Chode. 332 00:15:17,544 --> 00:15:20,494 I caught him accessing the ship's mainframe. 333 00:15:20,888 --> 00:15:23,404 I knew that robot was just too good to be true. 334 00:15:23,438 --> 00:15:28,107 We have to find a way to disengage him before he completely takes control of the ship. 335 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,451 Got any ideas? 336 00:15:29,485 --> 00:15:32,939 You need to get to the second level and restore the ship's database. 337 00:15:32,978 --> 00:15:34,249 How do I do that? 338 00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:36,459 Just hit "Control + Alt + Delete". 339 00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:38,849 - Can you remember that, Chode? - I think so. 340 00:15:39,016 --> 00:15:40,849 Good. Now, hurry. 341 00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:46,006 Gramps, do you really need to be doing that now? 342 00:15:46,073 --> 00:15:48,273 If I don't, I'll get stiff all over! 343 00:15:48,939 --> 00:15:50,773 Well, almost all over. 344 00:15:51,052 --> 00:15:52,752 Progress report, XP? 345 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:56,019 Jupiter 42 is almost completely under my control. 346 00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:57,043 Almost? 347 00:15:57,077 --> 00:15:59,310 Once I've completed corrupting the ship's database 348 00:15:59,356 --> 00:16:01,589 nothing will stand in our way! 349 00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:02,856 That's my line. 350 00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:03,756 I'm sorry? 351 00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:06,113 Nothing will stand in our way! 352 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,280 I invented that. 353 00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:10,381 It's practically my catch phrase. 354 00:16:10,415 --> 00:16:11,547 I'm sorry. 355 00:16:11,572 --> 00:16:13,306 If you want, you can say it now. 356 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,439 Right, like that wouldn't sound completely redundant. 357 00:16:17,705 --> 00:16:19,472 I can come up with something new. 358 00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:24,763 The future of the galaxy is within our grasp! 359 00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,263 Wow, you really are good. 360 00:16:28,357 --> 00:16:31,555 It's awful. My crew's either trapped or out of commission... 361 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:34,422 and I have absolutely no idea what's going on. 362 00:16:36,071 --> 00:16:37,933 Oh great! 363 00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:40,292 Luckily we'll be there in seconds. 364 00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:42,959 Gramps! 365 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,204 Somebody kill me now. 366 00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:47,753 My friends, 367 00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:53,459 just outside this planet's atmosphere, the Jupiter 42 is about to be ours. 368 00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,765 Let the revolution begin! 369 00:16:56,559 --> 00:16:58,847 High arms, head is like it is Honey! 370 00:16:59,315 --> 00:17:03,368 Maybe I'm just a self-hating robot but the idea of spending eternity... 371 00:17:03,403 --> 00:17:07,930 antiquing through the universe with a bunch of fembots is just too much to bear. 372 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:14,792 I'm gone one day and this place goes completely to pot. 373 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,141 Get down from there, Chode. You're going to hurt yourself. 374 00:17:20,174 --> 00:17:21,686 I've got no choice, Gramps. 375 00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:23,604 Unless I restore the ship's database,... 376 00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:26,202 that robot'll take control of the ship for good! 377 00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:29,360 Speaking of control... I really gotta pee 378 00:17:31,715 --> 00:17:33,786 It's no phillips screwdriver... 379 00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:37,205 but maybe this prostate stimulator will do the trick. 380 00:17:38,379 --> 00:17:42,689 Why is it I'm always the one left cleaning up everyone else's mess? 381 00:17:58,504 --> 00:18:00,575 Not so fast, XP. 382 00:18:00,904 --> 00:18:03,534 Turn around nice and slow. 383 00:18:03,557 --> 00:18:06,516 Do you really think you're capable of stopping me? 384 00:18:06,663 --> 00:18:07,946 Me, maybe not. 385 00:18:08,105 --> 00:18:11,294 You're packed with more memory, a faster hard drive, and ok... 386 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,319 just maybe slightly more masculine vocal pattern. 387 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,127 But this will. 388 00:18:16,216 --> 00:18:18,550 - What is that? - A universal remote. 389 00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:22,901 Once it locks onto your infrared code, you'll be under my control. 390 00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:23,821 Well then... 391 00:18:23,877 --> 00:18:26,213 you better hope it locks a frequency soon. 392 00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:28,810 Because your ass is mine! 393 00:18:32,787 --> 00:18:35,056 Is that the best you've got? 394 00:18:35,189 --> 00:18:37,128 Actually, I haven't even gotten started. 395 00:18:37,161 --> 00:18:39,036 Oh, me and my big mouth. 396 00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:44,144 Put him down right now! 397 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,493 I spilled a little water, sparky. 398 00:18:49,526 --> 00:18:52,451 I'm not sparky, you senile old carp. 399 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,664 Really? You are now. 400 00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:13,890 Age before beauty buster. 401 00:19:16,476 --> 00:19:19,798 Well, it's been fun kids. But I have to get a move on. 402 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:21,334 Where you off to next? 403 00:19:21,399 --> 00:19:23,240 The casinos of the nebula orbits. 404 00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:28,008 The hotels there offer amazing midweek slot specials sunday through thursday. 405 00:19:28,107 --> 00:19:29,685 Well, good luck Gramps. 406 00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:33,192 It's been great having you on board. I really mean that. 407 00:19:33,258 --> 00:19:34,890 And next time you're in the neighborhood, 408 00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:37,851 be sure to stop by and stay as long as you like. 409 00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:41,994 Thanks, Chode. I just might take you up on that. 410 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,395 Wow! That was nice of you. 411 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,459 I know. 412 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:53,053 Uh-oh, captain... 413 00:19:53,086 --> 00:19:55,355 your grandfather's headed in the wrong direction. 414 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,496 I know. 415 00:19:57,283 --> 00:20:00,178 Well, XP had a field day with the ship's circuit board. 416 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,890 How long until you bring things back to normal? 417 00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:06,546 It'll take me 3 weeks just to get the light to come on when you open the fridge! 418 00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:10,130 Chode, I completed a full autopsy on XP circuits. 419 00:20:10,196 --> 00:20:13,934 Apparently, his system was tied in to every other XP model. 420 00:20:14,887 --> 00:20:15,840 Which means, 421 00:20:15,873 --> 00:20:17,452 once he was shut down, 422 00:20:17,495 --> 00:20:19,435 every XP was terminated. 423 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,718 Why should I care? 424 00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:22,319 For your information,... 425 00:20:22,417 --> 00:20:25,179 the XP's had a heinous scheme in store for you,... 426 00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:27,480 which was narrowly avoided,... 427 00:20:27,513 --> 00:20:28,796 thanks to me. 428 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,397 What kind of scheme? 429 00:20:30,626 --> 00:20:32,797 XP's were planning to rule the galaxy 430 00:20:32,895 --> 00:20:35,295 and force you all to be our slaves. 431 00:20:37,915 --> 00:20:40,743 All we saw was the overly efficient Gus XP... 432 00:20:40,766 --> 00:20:43,725 that kept a tidy ship and would anticipate your every need. 433 00:20:43,922 --> 00:20:45,402 And what a cook! 434 00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:47,670 I can still taste his "crème brûlée". 435 00:20:47,702 --> 00:20:52,098 Not to mention the awesome micro-brew he tapped into my workstation. 436 00:20:52,131 --> 00:20:54,433 Hey, a little enslaving never hurt anyone. 437 00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:58,961 Of all the thankless, good for nothing... ungrateful,... 438 00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:01,036 well I've never in all of my days... 439 00:21:06,037 --> 00:21:09,037 _^^^^_ ( O . 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