1 00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:22,252 Please remember to put your flight attendant 2 00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:24,279 back into her upright position. 3 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,250 Stop playing with yourself. 4 00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:54,878 Why, you want a turn? 5 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,388 I'm about to break the ship record. 6 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:59,392 Give me that thing. I don't think this trip could get anymore boring. 7 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,451 We could watch one of Woody Allen's new movies. 8 00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:03,155 I stand corrected. Bob? 9 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:06,097 T'nuk, will you wiggle the mouse 10 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,599 and wake him up? 11 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:11,635 I was on snooze. What the hell do you want? 12 00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:14,139 - Are we there yet? - You asked me that 10 minutes ago. 13 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,608 We now have 29 hours and 50 minutes to go. 14 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,702 I know. How about a road game? 15 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,237 Ooh, anyone up for a rousing set of Slug Bug? 16 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:25,274 - Ow. - I need something fun to occupy time. 17 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,252 How about I-Spy? 18 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,016 Ah, screw you deadbeats. 19 00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,613 I'm off to entertain myself. 20 00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:35,494 Is it possible I've seen 21 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,553 every free porn image on the net? 22 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,623 Wait a minute. These girls can keep my attention 23 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,191 for 15 minutes tops, 24 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:46,069 but there's one that can have me going for days on end... 25 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,664 Lady Luck. 26 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,835 I'm in for 50 kronigs. 27 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,574 Yeah, 21! 28 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,013 Let it ride. 29 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,882 Hi. How about I let you ride? 30 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,180 Chode, are you all right? 31 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,018 - We heard... - Whoa, Xanadu. 32 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:06,025 It seems to be in some sort of tacky Earth theme. 33 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,856 "Tacky Earth. " 34 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,987 That's like saying "ice cold. " 35 00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:11,519 Would you guys get lost? 36 00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:13,156 Can we get lost here? 37 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,064 - Yes, just go. - Gambling. 38 00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:18,901 - This place is depraved. - Gus, you're looking at this all wrong. 39 00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,906 Depravity is a good thing. 40 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,805 Pick your poison and they got it. 41 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,709 How about the micro-chippendales all-male revue? 42 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:28,543 I understand their hard drives are something to behold. 43 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:32,142 Chode McBlob, why would you make such a suggestion? 44 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,380 You know very well I'm not gay. 45 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:36,320 Ooh, lookie here. 46 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,950 Fendi and Gucci and Prada, oh my. 47 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,290 I guess a little window shopping wouldn't hurt. 48 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,124 What was that about not being gay? 49 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,965 Mmmn. 50 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,559 Huh? Ah! 51 00:02:58,244 --> 00:02:59,438 Huh? 52 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,355 Oh that feels so good. 53 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,190 Let's splurge and go for the full body massage. 54 00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:17,128 I don't care what it costs. 55 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,797 Hmm. 56 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:44,713 Ooh, you know what they say about guys with long tongues. 57 00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,418 No, what? 58 00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,351 How about a lapdance? 59 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,387 I don't know. I never... 60 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:54,764 Money makes me moist. 61 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,701 All you had to say 62 00:03:56,736 --> 00:04:00,502 was the magic word "moist. " 63 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,881 Oh! Hey, come here often? 64 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,944 Oh my god, I loved that show. 65 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,387 Let's see what all the fuss is about. 66 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:34,429 If my money hadn't run out, I'd still be enjoying myself. 67 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,341 Whip, enough with the damn paddle ball already. 68 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:41,543 Bob, please, are we there yet? 69 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,310 No, and if you ask me again, 70 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,839 I'll turn the ship right around. 71 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,875 Do you understand me, mister? 72 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:49,786 Hey, Gus, how was your online gambling experience? 73 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:52,052 A den of iniquity if you ask me. 74 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,358 What was that? 75 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,363 Whoever smelt it, dealt it. 76 00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,592 I'm picking up a problem in the exhaust system. 77 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,600 I guess no one would buy it if I blamed it on the dog? 78 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,761 Hey, is that a shot at me? 79 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,431 The entire exhaust manifold is gone. 80 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,872 Somebody's replaced it with this drier hose. 81 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,638 Hey, how would you like it if someone poked around in your exhaust? 82 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:12,770 Chode does it all the time. 83 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:16,009 Are you telling me someone ripped off your exhaust 84 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,277 And you didn't feel a thing? 85 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,512 - I was on snooze. - What are you, narcoleptic? 86 00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:20,814 - Gus! - What? 87 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:22,286 You told me that story about the guy 88 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,721 waking up in a bathtub missing a kidney 89 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,656 - was an urban legend. - Yes, well, 90 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,559 I also told you not to fill out that organ donor card. 91 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:31,392 What if the manifold was stolen by aliens? 92 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:34,195 Ditsy broad, we're the freakin' aliens here. 93 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,326 Hmm. This is quite a mystery. 94 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:37,734 What we need is a clue. 95 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,136 You mean like in "Clue" the movie? 96 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,834 - There was a movie? - Yeah! 97 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,034 It had three endings. 98 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,634 Go talk dull somewhere else. 99 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,872 I've got some deducing to do. 100 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,381 Whip, stay here. You'll be my assistant. 101 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,849 Hmm. No fingerprints. 102 00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:55,615 We need one of those fancy lights to check for body fluids. 103 00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,350 This was a theft. Not rape. 104 00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,416 Don't you watch "CSl: Snozzo," Uncle Chode? 105 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,758 Even thieves leave their semen behind. 106 00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,856 "MET'1-MAN"? 107 00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:08,389 - What the hell does that mean? - Chode, 108 00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,368 you'd better get up here. 109 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:13,372 We've got another problem. 110 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,776 Now don't get upset. 111 00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:21,507 Saying that tells a guy he should be upset. 112 00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:28,318 Holy...! My command post! 113 00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:31,414 My symbol of power! 114 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,118 What got stolen, his chair or his...? 115 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,854 Who could do such a thing? 116 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,328 That's for you to know and for us to find out. 117 00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:40,264 - What? - Us to know and you to find out? 118 00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:41,732 - Huh? - Shut up, Whip. 119 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:44,532 It's time for me to put on my thinking cap. 120 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,002 I wish someone would steal that... music. 121 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,644 This has Darph Bobo written all over it. 122 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:56,739 I disagree, my good Whipston. 123 00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:01,243 He would've been gloating the moment he got his pasty little hands on it. 124 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:05,417 And he would have started with the exhaust system. 125 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,050 Aha! 126 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,651 - What is it? - Hmm. 127 00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:11,686 Some sort of metallic shaving. 128 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,699 Let's get this thing back to the lab 129 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,428 and run some tests. 130 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:18,494 - We don't have a lab. - I told you the bathroom's the lab. 131 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,301 - Remember? - I thought the bathroom 132 00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:21,897 was the interrogation room. 133 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,569 No, you dumbass. The kitchen's the... 134 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,134 Mmm. 135 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,239 No, my boy, the kitchen is the conservatory. 136 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,115 - Why are you talking that way? - What was is that, my boy? 137 00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:35,609 The tea and crumpets and delight. 138 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,783 I beg your pardon. 139 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:41,794 Silly of me. I believe I have taken on the persona 140 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:42,920 of Holmes. 141 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,089 You mean that pornstar John Holmes? 142 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,259 You know, if you're going to assist me in these matters, 143 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,464 you should try cracking a friggin' book! 144 00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,597 Huh? 145 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,130 Hand me that razorblade. The one on the stack of magazines. 146 00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:57,733 What magazines? 147 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,245 The ones next to the... ahh! No! 148 00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:01,906 My men's magazine collection! 149 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,644 They got 'em all! They were priceless! 150 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,084 Hef came to me to do research! 151 00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:09,917 I always hoped you were gonna leave them to me in your will. 152 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,186 None of the pages were even stuck together! 153 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,625 Do you realize how rare that is? 154 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,821 I've gotta get 'em back. I've gotta find 'em! 155 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,933 Here, this'll cheer you up... 156 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:57,731 something better than pictures in a magazine. 157 00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,931 The real thing. 158 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:02,907 Like those are real. 159 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,934 That Pamela Anderson wannabe's tits 160 00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:08,344 are just silicone and helium. 161 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,214 Now these are the real McCoy. 162 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,014 And you get 50% more. 163 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,647 We're trying to cheer Chode up, not make him sick. 164 00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,782 It was you! No one else on board 165 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,054 Gives a crap about looking at women! 166 00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:22,890 Why you little... 167 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,931 Come on, Uncle Chode, think! 168 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,559 If I stole your porn, you would have found it in my room. 169 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,569 Yeah, he'd be in there right now 170 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,764 with a Costco-size bottle of hand lotion 171 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,466 and a case of tube socks. 172 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,065 You're right. I found nothing. 173 00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:39,271 Not even a torn page with a badly-written forum story. 174 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,543 These crimes were performed with incredible precision, 175 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,948 the precision of someone or someones 176 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,043 who know what they want and where to find it, 177 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,486 which leads me to only one conclusion. 178 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:52,320 - What's that? - It's an inside job. 179 00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:55,054 Oh, us. 180 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,959 Whip, get everyone assembled on the bridge. 181 00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,123 Let's see if my superior intellect and cunning 182 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,360 Can flush a few quail, huh? 183 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,163 If there's gonna be any flushing, 184 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,794 Shouldn't we be in the bathroom? 185 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,429 Just do it right now, you dipweed! 186 00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:10,831 Sorry I'm late. 187 00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:12,434 I had a little trouble with the car. 188 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,446 Am I still your assistant 189 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,777 or one of the suspects, Uncle Chode? 190 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,840 Let me think for a moment. 191 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,681 We all agree that you have an uncontrollable urge 192 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,484 to stimulate your... your little Havana, 193 00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:25,490 so you could have stolen my magazines, 194 00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:28,049 but it would also have been difficult 195 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,324 - to part with them. - Well, duh. 196 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,526 There may be more going on behind those reptilian eyes 197 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:37,058 than meets the, well, eye. Which leads us to you, miss. 198 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:38,468 How does that lead you to me? 199 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,665 If you don't mind, miss, I'll ask the questions. 200 00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:47,145 I think you considered those magazines a pain, 201 00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:50,148 something that rubbed you the wrong way. 202 00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:52,047 - Is there a wrong way? - You got a point. 203 00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:54,052 You were jealous 204 00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:55,986 due to the amount of time I spent with them and not you, 205 00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,855 so you had a motive. And your access to my quarters 206 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,688 - gave you the means. - Are you kidding? 207 00:11:00,726 --> 00:11:02,353 I saw them as a welcome break. 208 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,260 I was gonna buy you a lifetime subscription 209 00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,457 To "Butts, Nuts, and Sluts" for Christmas. 210 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:10,026 Really?! That's very generous of you, miss. 211 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:13,630 And what of you, my three-titted friend? 212 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,234 I'm definitely not jealous of your girly mags. 213 00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:18,800 No, but everyone knows 214 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,471 there's nothing you'd like more 215 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,413 than to take command of this ship. 216 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,848 You're out of your... mind. 217 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,512 You may have wanted my position as captain so bad 218 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,521 you were willing to steal to get it. 219 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:31,546 Oh yeah, there's one more thing. 220 00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:33,820 Those gold-colored metal shavings 221 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,884 were produced when your accomplice 222 00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:38,089 scraped his leg on the chair 223 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,791 while he was lifting it, right, Gus? 224 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,390 Oh, that. 225 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,527 I got it from the stall door in a public restroom. 226 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:46,265 I was kneeling down to look at a curious hole 227 00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:48,273 - in the stall wall... - That's evidence 228 00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,070 in an entirely different case. 229 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,771 Well, as far as "MET'1-MAN," 230 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,780 that would only refer to Six or Gus. 231 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:58,147 T'nuk couldn't meet a man and Whip wouldn't want to. 232 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,049 What about the exhaust system? 233 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,713 - Why don't you ask Bob? - Are you suggesting 234 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,346 I stole my own exhaust system? 235 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,983 No, but you should be able to tell us who did. 236 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:08,220 I told you. I was on snooze. 237 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,524 - I can sleep through anything. - As can I. 238 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,896 Well, that's funny, miss. A lot of people use humor to cover their guilt. 239 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,060 So this is it? We all did it. 240 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,967 It was all a mad conspiracy to... 241 00:12:18,003 --> 00:12:19,470 Okay okay. 242 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,668 So I didn't get it right, but that was all part of my plan! 243 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:25,836 - See, I was stallin'. - Till you grew a brain? 244 00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,480 No. I needed time, 245 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,077 time for the translucent micromanatic sulfa crystals 246 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,145 to take effect. 247 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,418 What's that, some kind of truth serum? 248 00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:42,621 No, it's a dye I dusted my magazines with to protect them. 249 00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,959 Once touched, it takes about 45 minutes 250 00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:47,591 to turn the thief's hands and anything he's touched 251 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:51,069 a neon guilty green. 252 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,062 Oh. 253 00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:02,176 See? Wasn't me. 254 00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:04,444 The only green is a bit of copper petina... 255 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,451 robot age spots. 256 00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:08,453 There couldn't have been. 257 00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:11,183 - I was bluffing. - Gus, why? 258 00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,282 Okay, yes, it was me. 259 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,520 You'd think that even you could've figured out 260 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:18,655 That it wasn't "MET'1-MAN," but "MET'I-MAN." 261 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:20,324 It's my screen name. 262 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,061 You see, I've got money problems. 263 00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:24,729 I've been selling various items around the ship on ebay 264 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,670 And for more than I thought I would. 265 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:29,071 They're one of the few things on the ship that are worth anything. 266 00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,269 Let's sell you piece by piece and see what we get. 267 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:34,507 You mean right now some stranger is ogling my girls?! 268 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,105 I'll kill you! 269 00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,480 - Gus, why do you need money? - Well... 270 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:43,552 My, how invigorating! 271 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,557 I feel so alive! 272 00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:47,115 Well, for a machine. 273 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,724 Woo-hoo-hoo! 274 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,565 Ha ha! 275 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,571 Oh yes, yes! 276 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,870 I can't lose. Hoo-hoo! 277 00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:04,876 Wonderful! 278 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,901 Ho ho ho! 279 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,939 Muah! Hmm. 280 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,282 Woo-hoo! Oh yes! 281 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,151 Yes! 282 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,748 Ah. 283 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,986 You gotta be sitting on a pair of ladies. 284 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,324 Well, the stool was a little short. 285 00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,461 I haven't got the money, but you don't have the cards. 286 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:33,368 How much you need, eh? 287 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:35,999 Looks like I'm about 100,000 kronigs short. 288 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,100 Heck, we'll spot you. 289 00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:41,112 That's awfully nice of you gentlemen. 290 00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:46,341 You're looking more and more like my own personal ATM. 291 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,683 There's no way you're fence-hopping this pot. 292 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,689 Looks like you're a retarded pitbull, 293 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,692 won't let go once you catch the slightest bit of a hand. 294 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:02,794 Pay up. 295 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:06,271 I think it's you 296 00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:08,398 who needs to pay up, eh? 297 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,610 How was I to know those two were members 298 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,441 of the Falsetto crime family? 299 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,447 I've been selling various things to... 300 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,711 - Pay your debt?! - Not exactly. 301 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,183 Just the interest. 302 00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:21,413 There was nothing aboard that could cover my original marker. 303 00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:23,648 What happens if you don't pay? 304 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:26,684 I'll give you three guesses. 305 00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:28,590 Oh hey there. 306 00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,652 These are the guys?! 307 00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,129 Okay, everybody, relax! 308 00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:34,064 We'll just jettison Gus into space 309 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,158 And they can pick him up. We're no worse for the wear. 310 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:37,930 - Chode. - All right, all right. 311 00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:39,494 Bob, get us the hell out of here. 312 00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,607 Oh, uh, I guess this would be a good time to tell you 313 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:48,010 I also sold off the dylithium crystals. 314 00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,641 So, Gus, are you gonna hop on the grenade here, 315 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,743 or do we have to hold you on it and throw you down until it explodes?! 316 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,050 - That won't be necessary. - No disrespect, 317 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:59,114 but you don't look like you belong to a tough Italian crime family. 318 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:00,682 We're not Italian, eh. 319 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:03,490 Jeez, that's totally stereotypical, don't you think? 320 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:06,157 - So what are you, the Russian mob? - Nope. 321 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,996 The gang of Brazilian street toughs known as "The Red Command"? 322 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,628 Uh-uh! We're from the center of the universe, eh. 323 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,763 - Coreolia? - No, Toronto. 324 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,434 I thought Michael Moore said there was no such thing as crime in Canada. 325 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,672 Jeez, of all people, you're gonna believe that hoser? 326 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,907 He is pretty much right about everything, isn't he? 327 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,710 Shh. The Patriot Act. 328 00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,717 Anyhoo, we're here for our money, eh. 329 00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,845 Where is it? You know the rules. 330 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,583 - You gonna kneecap him? - There's you go again 331 00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,352 with that Italian stuff, eh. 332 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,690 No, we'll just shoot him, then you! 333 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:38,663 Okay okay, let's all just settle down. 334 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,927 Gus, get these fine gentlemen their money. 335 00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,628 - Chode, I... - Don't play games, buddy. 336 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,193 Go get their money. 337 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:48,673 You know, the money I left in the bathroom taped behind the toilet tank? 338 00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:51,141 Bathroom? Toilet tank? 339 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:54,441 Hmmph. Sounds like that scene out of "The Godfather. " 340 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,606 Oh jeez. 341 00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:58,115 Stan, can you like believe these guys? 342 00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:01,677 Jeez, we might be from Toronto, but we're not stupid, eh. 343 00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,789 Barry, Stan, what's the hold up? 344 00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:08,918 My wife's expecting me for supper. 345 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:11,987 If I'm late, there won't be any whoopie-making 346 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,191 for another month! 347 00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:16,167 Pardon the racy language in mixed company. 348 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,863 - You gotta be the accountant. - Jeffery's the boss. 349 00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:21,498 The boss, huh? Anything I can do to keep this guy 350 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,565 out of cement overshoes? 351 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,270 Hmm. 352 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,073 Straight-up trade. 353 00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:30,912 Gus's marker for your extensive men's magazine collection. 354 00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,917 - How'd you know? - Are you kidding? 355 00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:35,419 There are entire chat rooms dedicated to it. 356 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:36,887 Well, what do you say? 357 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,789 You really think Gus's life 358 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,850 is worth all that? 359 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,555 You have a point. 360 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:47,395 Besides, Gus here sold it on eBay to keep up with his payments. 361 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:50,459 So shooting him would actually be doing you a favor. 362 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,027 - You have no idea. - Excuse me, 363 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,937 - I do have feelings. - Not for long. 364 00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:57,498 Chode, do something. 365 00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:59,511 Oh, all right. Hold on. 366 00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,513 There's gotta be something we can do to spare this guy's life. 367 00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:04,607 - He made an honest mistake. - He knew what he was doing. 368 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,174 That's just it. He didn't. 369 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:08,652 It's the first time he's been in a casino, 370 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:10,177 online or otherwise. 371 00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:12,918 This guy thinks a vice is using butter instead of margarine. 372 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,688 What did you have in mind? 373 00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:18,287 How do I know you won't pull any funny business? 374 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,854 Here, let Gus stand over there 375 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:21,695 with you and your friends while we play. 376 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:24,133 If you think I'm dealing from the bottom of the deck, 377 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,602 you shoot him and we're done. 378 00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:28,003 - Whose side are you on? - Relax, Louise. 379 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,974 We're just gonna play a gentleman's game 380 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,600 like a couple of gentleman. 381 00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:34,840 I'll start off with Gus's fingers. 382 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,280 You won't cut off any of Gus's fingers. 383 00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:40,046 I see that bet with the screen on the bridge. 384 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:41,575 - HD? - And Dolby digital. 385 00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:46,958 - Check. - I'm in for one astronaut pen. 386 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,926 The kind that writes upside down? 387 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,521 Uh-uh. This is more of a specialty item. 388 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:54,361 You know my weakness, Mr. McBlob. 389 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:55,923 Well played. 390 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,936 I won't break Gus's legs 391 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:01,235 and you have my word he won't be buried in a shallow black hole. 392 00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,408 Hmm. 393 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,379 I'm going all-in. 394 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:11,439 I don't want your ship, Mr. McBlob. 395 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,110 I wasn't talking about the ship. 396 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,676 I was talking about Six here. 397 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,315 Which one is Six? 398 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,484 - That one? - I don't think so. 399 00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:21,618 Can't blame a guy for trying. 400 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,025 I don't believe this. 401 00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:24,790 Gus is more important to you than me? 402 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,559 You're the one who told me to do something! 403 00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:30,659 Look, I heard you talk about the lack of nookie from the cookie? 404 00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:34,263 Six here can help you forget you were ever married 405 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,001 and that's after the first five seconds! 406 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,100 Chode, I don't know if I can let you do this. 407 00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:40,236 - You want to be dead? - Okay, good point. 408 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,715 All in. Gus for Six! 409 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,652 - And 50,000 kronigs? - Yeah yeah, whatever. 410 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,283 I've got jacks and sevens. 411 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,088 Well, I'm sorry to say 412 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,288 that doesn't beat a flush! 413 00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,297 Ho ho, hooray! 414 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,968 Well, I must admit that wasn't a bad way to kill some time. 415 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,534 Don't talk to me, you pig. 416 00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,843 It's times like this you find out who your friends really are. 417 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,543 Relax, Six, you weren't going anywhere. 418 00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,108 He was beat from the get! 419 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,017 I had Gus stand over with his goons, 420 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,545 not just to reassure him that I wouldn't pull a fast one, 421 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,558 it was so I could see the cards 422 00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:28,560 - in the reflection of Gus's chest. - Oh. 423 00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,994 But Gus isn't free. I won his marker. 424 00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,997 That means now he owes me. 425 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,898 And we're gonna chalk it all up to a lesson learned. 426 00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:39,165 What do you think this is, a... after school special? 427 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,172 Ooh. 428 00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:43,868 Yes, is this Bjorn's House of Porn? 429 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,639 Oh, Bjorn. Love a man who answers his own phone. 430 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:51,240 Anyway, I am looking for the entire first and third years 431 00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:53,615 of "Mothers, Jugs and Swedes," 432 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,882 and also March of the fourth year. 433 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,752 Oh you do. Good good. 434 00:20:57,789 --> 00:20:59,381 And as to condition? 435 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:02,552 Kept under the mattress of a little old man for years? 436 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:06,086 Good. You wouldn't happen to also have 437 00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:08,565 year seven of "Round Mounds," would you? 438 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,228 Tits McGee has those in stock? 439 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,898 That's M- C-capital G-double E? 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net