1 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,184 Whoa, that was close. 2 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,781 I just about ran head-on into James Doohan's ashes. 3 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,765 You've got to be kidding me. 4 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:45,778 Please Mom, I don't want to go to school today. 5 00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:48,144 The kids make fun of my green freckles. 6 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,843 Ma, Ma, Ma. Ma what? 7 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,751 - You fell asleep. - In bed with cozy covers on. 8 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,984 Shame on me. How will I ever live with myself? 9 00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,321 We were having sex at the time. 10 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:02,123 Oh. Well I... I did have a long hard day. 11 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,823 Speaking of long and hard, 12 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:05,763 you weren't the only thing that fell asleep. 13 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:09,735 Yeah right. The old diving board never loses its bounce. 14 00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:11,600 What did you do to me? 15 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,162 Is this some kind of joke? 16 00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,730 Did you tie it to my leg? What? 17 00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:16,639 Don't blame me for your shortcomings. 18 00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,439 I'm in tip-top condition 19 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:20,673 Oh come on Six, you must be off your game. 20 00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:22,840 Are you due for your 30,000 mile tune-up? 21 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,612 Fine. How about I go give Whip a test drive? 22 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,176 The boy survives, you win. 23 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,916 The boy dies with a smile on his face, I win. 24 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:31,321 No, no, no, you can't. 25 00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:33,325 The others will all know something's wrong with me. 26 00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:35,327 Besides, Whip's not a fair test. 27 00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,522 He'd pop off if you licked your nipple. 28 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,725 Maybe it was the keg of beer I drank. 29 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,896 No, I usually drink twice that and I'm still good to go go go. 30 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,370 Wait a minute. 31 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,396 When all else fails, there is one place you can turn 32 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,874 that will never keep a good man down. 33 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,342 This is a classic. 34 00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:54,312 "Wonka's Willy in the Chocolate Factory. " 35 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,372 Wow, look at that. 36 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:58,782 Mmm, hmm. 37 00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:02,254 Who can take a stripper, sprinkle her with dew 38 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,780 Cover it in chocolate, a dab of G Y or two 39 00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:08,658 - The candy man... - The candy man can't. 40 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,253 It's not working. 41 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,423 Crap. 42 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,661 Hey, maybe it's just a lack of exercise. 43 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,729 Are you kidding? This baby does more drilling 44 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:21,399 than an Edmonton Wildcatter. 45 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,432 I wasn't talking about your penis. 46 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:27,003 I was talking about you. Exercise helps the blood circulate. 47 00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,707 Oh. 48 00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:36,484 What in heaven's name is going on here? 49 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:39,014 - Exercising. - You exercising? 50 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,719 That's like Whip working, 51 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,421 or T'nuk listening. 52 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,521 Or you shutting the... hell up. 53 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,191 Yes, something like that. 54 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:49,326 So what's this sudden interest in fitness all about, hmm? 55 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,600 Worried about your heart? Oh no, wait, you haven't got one. 56 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,766 Oh, afraid you've grown a little chubby? 57 00:02:54,807 --> 00:02:58,675 Or better yet, afraid that your little chubby hasn't grown? 58 00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:01,646 - Shut up. - Oh that would be delicious. 59 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,706 Why are you riding me so hard, huh? 60 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,446 Are you still put out about not getting the time off? 61 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:10,115 I have been looking forward to my "I, Robot 6 Revenge of the Smith" 62 00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,056 cast reunion for months. 63 00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,184 And you pooh-poohed all over my plans. 64 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:15,854 You had one scene and it was cut. 65 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:18,295 Still, I was a favorite on set. 66 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,855 Gus, they cut your scene 67 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:22,129 so they didn't have to invite you to the premier. 68 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:23,931 Six called and asked. 69 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,632 You love pissing all over my dreams, don't you? 70 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:30,370 And now it seems all you're good for is pissing, hmm? 71 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,469 Get out! 72 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,503 Light as a feather, stiff as a board. 73 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,845 Light as a feather, stiff as a board. 74 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:40,250 Light as a feather, stiff as a board 75 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,516 No levitation, nothing at all. 76 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,046 It didn't even move. 77 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,321 No no no no no. 78 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,352 We can get the Ouija board out of the closet and try raising the dead. 79 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,432 All right, you guys, 80 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:05,137 what's so goddamn funny? 81 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,612 Nothing. Nothing, sorry. 82 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:10,013 Six, you told them, didn't you? 83 00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,346 You are so dead. 84 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,443 If Chode was dead his problem would be solved, 85 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,215 because rigor mortis would set in. 86 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,721 - You did tell them! - I didn't say anything. 87 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,852 Gus was the one that sent out the mass email. 88 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,359 But seriously, people, 89 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,924 we should be helping here, not hurting. 90 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:31,664 Hmm, maybe if we figured out the root of his problem. 91 00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:33,467 Maybe it's just old age. 92 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:36,304 Hmm, unfortunately he's relatively young. 93 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,311 Maybe it's God punishing him for his sins. 94 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,438 If that were the case, he would have been struck by lightning 95 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,745 - a long time ago. - True that. 96 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,274 I think it's his own guilt-riddled conscience 97 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,116 that has decided to do to him 98 00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:49,883 what he is constantly doing to us. 99 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:52,049 - Which is? - Holding us down, of course. 100 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:54,821 Enough. I don't remember signing a waiver 101 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,763 allowing you to pick over my brain like some guest on Dr. Phil. 102 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:02,461 I think we're just in a rut. We need to mix things up, try something new. 103 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,766 How about a little blue pill? 104 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,795 Now, here's a guy who's trying to help. 105 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,636 What are you doing with those things? 106 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,973 I picked them up from a guy back on Solarius 12 107 00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:12,443 just in case I got lucky. 108 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:15,242 - Did you? - I won five Kronigs on a lottery scratcher. 109 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,306 Hey, I think I'm feeling something here. 110 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,410 Quick, Six, let's get out of that rut we were in. 111 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:23,479 Let's boldly go where no man has gone before. 112 00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:25,252 Or at least we haven't. 113 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,486 - Dealer's choice. - Mmm! 114 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,893 How about a little outdoor in n' out? 115 00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:31,260 Sex in public? 116 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:34,289 Yeah, the thrill of being watched, it'll give me a little extra boost. 117 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,326 But, Chode, we're on a spaceship. Where's the public? 118 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:42,601 Chode, I hate to interrupt your flow, 119 00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,542 But I think Six is sitting on the thrusters. 120 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:48,138 Yeah baby, now you know how they got their name. 121 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,808 Must we be party to this? 122 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,181 I'm not sure Six is even party to this. 123 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:55,187 - Look closer. - Hmm, it seems the cat is out of the bag. 124 00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:58,281 Yep, the pig is definitely out of the pen. 125 00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,155 I don't think it was ever in it. 126 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,957 Let me see those pills. 127 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,256 This isn't Viagra. 128 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,791 The guy sold you spearmint breath mints. 129 00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:12,964 - Should I tell him? - Isn't it more humiliating if we don't? 130 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:16,532 Well, all this rocking is gonna make me puke. 131 00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:18,203 Hey, big boy. 132 00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:19,768 Can you move off the thrusters? 133 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,110 I'm getting space-sick over here. 134 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,173 Only... if... 135 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,811 you... shut up! 136 00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:32,286 Chode... now she's firing... 137 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,815 Hey, peanut gallery, please, 138 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,727 pretty please with sugar, shut the... up and watch, all right? 139 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:39,231 Did you know that the phrase "peanut gallery" 140 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,256 was first used to describe the young audience 141 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,858 attending the Howdy Doody... 142 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,233 - Quiet! - Sorry. 143 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,399 Oh yeah, baby. 144 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:50,272 Ooh, yes... 145 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,948 Use the force. 146 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:02,516 - Who was that? - One of Dick Cheney's cronies. 147 00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,080 Did you feel that, baby? 148 00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,682 The earth is moving. 149 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,251 - That must mean I'm almost there. - No. 150 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:16,164 Wow, the sex is so good my head's spinning. 151 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:18,261 Chode's so good he's got the whole ship spinning. 152 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:20,636 - Huh? - Chode, the ship really is spinning. 153 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:22,470 I didn't have the nerve to tell you, 154 00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:25,375 but you've been dry-humping me from the get go. 155 00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:27,106 Like an old man with a bad leg. 156 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:28,875 You've got a bit of a limp. 157 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,746 No way. 158 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,081 No, man! No! 159 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,713 Oh my God. If what I think has happened, has happened, 160 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:37,313 the world may be coming to an end. 161 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:39,347 I feel the same way. 162 00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:44,724 Bob, power up all stabilizers. 163 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,529 Apparently a stray phaser blast hit a dark energy star. 164 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,332 - A what? - A star made up of dark energy. 165 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,998 The force that pushes against gravity's pull. 166 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,134 It looks like the shot's released the energy, creating an imbalance. 167 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,610 Sort of a black hole in reverse. 168 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,738 Ooh, I'm so scared. 169 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,579 If this bulging goes unchecked it will expand the universe, 170 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,814 sending planets and stars careening into parallel universes. 171 00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,049 - Oh. - My life is over anyway. 172 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:11,886 Who cares about the universe? 173 00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:14,449 Is someone gonna blame us for this screw-up? 174 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,224 'Cause it actually was Six's fault. 175 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,128 It wasn't me, it was Chode's. 176 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,532 Chode's big ass wasn't sitting on the phaser button. 177 00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,537 Look, it doesn't matter. 178 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,436 There will no longer be life in the universe. 179 00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:28,997 Don't you understand? 180 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,373 Does that mean running away is not an option? 181 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:34,038 Okay, so what you're saying, if I may be so blunt, 182 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,741 is we've got to do something, 183 00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:39,080 before all life as we know it is wiped off the face of the... 184 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:41,712 What's bigger than the universe, that it could be wiped off the face of? 185 00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:44,018 If galaxies make up the universe, 186 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:45,785 what do universes make up? 187 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,554 A universe super-sized? 188 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,424 I bet Alex Trebek would know. 189 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,589 Or that guy in the wheelchair. 190 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,724 - What's his name? - Ironside? 191 00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:55,461 That guy on "Lost"... John Locke. 192 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:57,401 But he could walk as soon as they crashed. 193 00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:58,698 He'd still know the answer. 194 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,969 - No, come on, the scientist. - Professor Charles Xavier. 195 00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,704 Stop it. You're standing around playing 20 questions 196 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:06,609 while the universe hangs in the balance. 197 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,375 Can we please focus? 198 00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:09,506 - I'm sorry. - Yes. 199 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,811 I still think it's John Locke. 200 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,374 It's Stephen Hawking. 201 00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:16,252 Listen, the only way we fail here is if we fail to try. 202 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,847 What if we try and fail? 203 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,688 Quiet. Look, we can do this, we can. 204 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,218 This is a gut check, and I for one am going to meet it head on. 205 00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:26,060 - Are you with me? - You bet! 206 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,531 Chode, let me go. 207 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:31,094 Look you inspired me, baby. I'm not going down without a fight. 208 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,832 God, you're hot when you're bossy. 209 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,568 Chode, the entire universe is going to be destroyed. 210 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,769 - Okay. - Now what? 211 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,178 Chode. 212 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:44,239 You self-centered idiot. 213 00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:46,751 I've got to get back there and help the three stooges. 214 00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:49,320 Oh. 215 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:52,818 - No! - Too late. 216 00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:54,792 Either you help me get my sexy back, 217 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:58,228 the sooner the better, or we literally die trying. 218 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,095 - What's it gonna be? - Fine, fine. 219 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:03,795 What turns you on? What always gets you going? 220 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:06,396 Aha. You love to watch, right? 221 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,770 I like your thinking. 222 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,434 Anything? Anything at all? 223 00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:10,737 - Mm-mmm. - Nope. 224 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,744 Guys, come on. We've got to do something. 225 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,474 Look around. If we aren't the heroes, there ain't any. 226 00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,345 Heroes? Hmm. 227 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,817 What would a superhero do? 228 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,343 Whip, would you pull your head out of the comic book clouds, 229 00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,855 and think real for a minute? 230 00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:26,585 Yeah, I got it. I totally got it. 231 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,526 Bob, I need you to orbit the star 232 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,825 as fast as you can, counterclockwise. 233 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:33,923 - What? - We can stop the thing from starting. 234 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,991 What are you talking about? 235 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:38,367 We're gonna turn back time. 236 00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,065 If Superman can do it, so could we. 237 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:43,303 Yeah, get off. You can do it! 238 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,934 Get off! 239 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:48,242 Ah, you know I'm so glad they wrapped everything up 240 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,578 with this "Gilligan's Island" TV movie. 241 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:53,176 It just didn't feel right to end without them being rescued. 242 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:54,709 Chode. 243 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:01,883 - We're almost up to speed. - I don't know, guys. 244 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:04,361 Time travel only seems to work in the movies, 245 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,830 or on TV, you know? 246 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,423 T'nuk is right, Whip. 247 00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:10,196 And have you ever noticed, the writers just change the rules 248 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,794 to service their story? 249 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,395 Yeah, how come the people 250 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:16,169 who are aware of time travel don't regress... 251 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,438 only the people who are unaware? 252 00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:19,808 How does that work? 253 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,472 - 10 seconds. - And the always go back 254 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,539 to exactly the right spot in time 255 00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:25,072 in order to alter the future. 256 00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:28,382 Guys, please, a little faith. This can work. 257 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,649 All right. 258 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,623 Whatever you say. 259 00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:35,616 Four, three, two, one. 260 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,498 It's working, it's work... 261 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,771 - Wow, I'm having a déjà vu. - Me too. 262 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,335 Déjà vu? Isn't that the name of a strip club? 263 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,176 Guys, come on, we gotta do something. 264 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,149 Look around. If we aren't the heroes, there ain't any. 265 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,379 Heroes? Hmm. 266 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,410 What would a superhero do? 267 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,889 Whip, would you pull your head out of the comic book clouds, 268 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,448 and think real for a minute? 269 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:08,926 Yeah, I got it. I totally got it. 270 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,952 Déjà vu is when you get the feeling 271 00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:14,022 that what you're experiencing happened before. 272 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,296 Can we please focus on the task at hand? 273 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:19,270 I thought I had a plan, but it went right out of my head. 274 00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,670 Someone is déjà dumb. 275 00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:22,196 I don't hear you coming up with anything. 276 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,641 Hey, how about we blow the damn thing up 277 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,167 before it blows us up? 278 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:29,204 Isn't this how we got into this mess, by shooting at it? 279 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,409 Well, yeah, sort of. 280 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,315 But you give a bear a flesh wound, 281 00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:36,287 it pisses him off, making him even more dangerous. 282 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,382 - You kill it... - And he's a rug in front of your fireplace. 283 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,222 Let's get that bitch or die trying. 284 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,626 Chode, please. 285 00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:46,597 I promise. I'll get your magic wand to perform tricks again. 286 00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:48,862 Just let me out of here so I can save us. 287 00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,926 Without sex I have no reason to live. 288 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,370 Uh, hey guys, all of us out here 289 00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:57,171 are actually trying to save something more than our pride. 290 00:12:57,209 --> 00:13:00,667 So if you've got anything even mildly explosive, 291 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,681 please send it on out. 292 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,740 We're planning on blowing up that star 293 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,775 before it destroys every living thing. 294 00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:09,845 Blow it up? How does that make any kind of sense? 295 00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:13,290 Listen, Toots. If you'd concentrate on your real job, 296 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:16,419 instead of pretending to be the science officer, 297 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,158 you'd be done in there and out here helping us. 298 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,029 So until that happens, 299 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,330 keep your opinions to yourself. 300 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,963 Oh, so you think you could get him to pop? 301 00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:29,441 Like a balloon at Hellraiser's birthday party. 302 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,943 Usually I'd think you two fighting over me was kind of hot, 303 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,968 but now it's just boring. 304 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,447 Please Chode, you've got to let me go. 305 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,950 I get my release, you get yours. 306 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,645 Hmm. 307 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,624 You know what we haven't tried yet? 308 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,819 A little S&M. 309 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:50,351 You know you love it when I'm your strict, 310 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,490 powerful whip-wielding mistress. 311 00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:56,296 Hmm. 312 00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,599 See, with the right motivation, 313 00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,266 you come up with some pretty good ideas. 314 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,503 - Shut up. - Ooh yeah! 315 00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,909 I like it rough. What's the safety word? 316 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,846 - No really, shut up. - That's it? 317 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,077 Whip, come to Chode's cabin right now. 318 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,883 He's locked me in and the key's on the floor right outside the door. 319 00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:21,420 Humanity's calling, and it's high time I answered. 320 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:24,020 That's everything. 321 00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:33,396 Let's go. 322 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:36,840 Okay, Bob, I want you to throw photon bombs, 323 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:40,141 phasers at full power, everything we have at the star. 324 00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:43,546 But you've got to time it to coincide with the shuttle's impact. 325 00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:45,072 Tell me when. 326 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,589 Grab hold of something. 327 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,717 Wait for it! 328 00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:55,693 Now! 329 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:01,466 No, don't do it. Tell me I'm not too late. 330 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,058 You're right on time 331 00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:05,036 to see the moment of triumph, 332 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:08,767 - the day I saved the universe! - No. 333 00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:11,367 - All right! - Oh yes, so wonderful. 334 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,775 What a relief. 335 00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:13,903 Hold on a minute. 336 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,376 If we have a minute. 337 00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:24,046 Well, since we're all doomed, 338 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,579 I have a confession to make. 339 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:28,616 We know. We've always known. 340 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,185 No, not that. 341 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,322 This whole thing, the star expanding, 342 00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:33,854 and the universe being pushed apart, 343 00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:35,230 it's all my fault. 344 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,497 No, this is all Chode's penis's fault. 345 00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,003 Well, not really. 346 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,700 Remember how he wouldn't let me go to my little cast reunion? 347 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,573 - Yeah. - I was a bit miffed by it, 348 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,771 and, well, feeling a little vengeful. 349 00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:50,373 - So? - So I played a little joke on Chode. 350 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,475 I put potassium nitrate in his beer. 351 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,145 I don't follow. 352 00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:56,654 Potassium nitrate, you know, saltpeter... 353 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,054 the reverse Viagra. 354 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,717 - That's funny as hell. - No it isn't. 355 00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,023 How did you get free? 356 00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:07,260 I swallowed the ball gag, then chewed through the ropes with my teeth. 357 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,926 Best of luck on the can tomorrow. 358 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,529 Oh, you're so dead! 359 00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:14,471 Wait a minute. 360 00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:16,167 Why are we protecting him? 361 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:19,177 He's killed us all with his little game of revenge. 362 00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,076 I am so sorry, everyone. 363 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,240 It was just supposed to be a joke. 364 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,113 Chode, look on the bright side. 365 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,913 The effects are only temporary. 366 00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,977 Okay, but I'm not done with you. 367 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,181 Hmm. 368 00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:33,055 Unfortunately, it looks like we have no time to be patient. 369 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,652 There's no stopping that star. It just keeps expanding. 370 00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:38,663 We have to. At least until the saltpeter wears off. 371 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,962 - Now he's on board. - Before I had nothing to live for. 372 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,525 But if we can beat this thing, 373 00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,901 it'll give my dark star time to expand, 374 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,736 and believe me, I'll take that opportunity 375 00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,572 to slip it into your black hole, if you know what I mean. 376 00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,635 Oh, so subtle. 377 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:57,479 Wait a minute... dark energy star, black hole! 378 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,882 Okay, we got it the first time. 379 00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:02,318 How many times are you gonna repeat it? 380 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:05,983 Just shut up, you Bovidian numb nut. This could work. 381 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,993 Six, if you bring a dark energy star 382 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,359 in contact with a black hole, what would happen? 383 00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,388 For me, a little pain, but I usually get used to it after a while. 384 00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,956 No, out there. 385 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,595 They're opposites. The two forces should cancel each other out, right? 386 00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,265 Chode, that is right. It could work. 387 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,103 Ah, no biggie. 388 00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:24,939 We're just going to move a black hole 389 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,343 from one side of the universe to the other. 390 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,678 - What would we use, the transporter? - Why not? 391 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,549 Something so large and dense has never been transported. 392 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:35,177 Well, except for T'nuk. 393 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,347 I'm trying hard to pretend you no longer exist 394 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,856 in order to get through this, 395 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,688 but you keep running your damn yap. 396 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,627 I just thought a little levity in times of stress would be beneficial. 397 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:46,722 - Shut up. - I'd suggest we give it the old college try, 398 00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,357 but I don't think any of us went to college. 399 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,765 - I'm in. - Me too. 400 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,269 Ah, all right. 401 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,863 If it'll make things right among all of us, count me in. 402 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,965 Save the universe or not, you're dead. 403 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,841 If we increase the clocking speed, 404 00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,579 we should be able to handle a black hole. 405 00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,519 Hurry, we've only got a few minutes. 406 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:12,649 I don't want to interrupt this touching teamwork moment, 407 00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:14,784 but there's no way I have enough power to get the job done. 408 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,954 Power?... a duck. 409 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:19,156 Keep at it. With a little luck, there's a way. 410 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,257 There's got to be something here we can use. 411 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,268 Come on, come on. There! 412 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,328 Whip, T'nuk, get the transporter ready. 413 00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:28,532 We only have time for one shot at this. 414 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:31,873 Let's go, Chode. We're gonna rope us some electricity. 415 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,514 Here, attach this to the ship's main power supply. 416 00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:39,016 The Federation power grid has a trans-planet line 417 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,814 a little way off the port side. 418 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,912 I'm gonna need you to jettison me out of the hatch. 419 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,014 Hopefully I can reach it in time. 420 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:47,218 Don't wait for me. If I make that connection, 421 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,124 transport the black hole. 422 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,924 But if something happens to you, 423 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,555 I wouldn't know... 424 00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:54,532 I wouldn't know who to have sex with. 425 00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:56,796 I know in your own way, that was "I love you. " 426 00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:58,860 Put down the crack pipe, and come back to reality. 427 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,303 Six, I can't let you do this. 428 00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,640 I thought I told you to keep it zipped. 429 00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,235 Butt out! 430 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,810 Now you'll have to forgive me. 431 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,960 - He needs more cable. - That's all we got. 432 00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:36,240 He touched the third rail! 433 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:39,039 Whoa! Whoever said "power is intoxicating" 434 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,567 knew of what he spoke. 435 00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:42,011 Bob, are you getting high? 436 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:44,982 Oh, cobwebs on my face, cobwebs. 437 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,382 Dude, do I even have a face? 438 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:50,081 - Whip, now! - Here goes everything. 439 00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,529 Huh? 440 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,932 Wow, pretty colors. 441 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,697 Colors that have never existed 442 00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:07,204 before this moment in time, man. 443 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,040 What a trip. Dudes, you should see this. 444 00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,840 It's like your faces are melting like candles. 445 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:18,612 I am so wasted. 446 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,618 The pain! 447 00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:35,530 We did it! Group hug. 448 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,660 I love each and every one of you dudes. 449 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:46,804 Hmm. 450 00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,405 Ah, after what you did, I think we can forgive you. 451 00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,779 You've learned your lesson. 452 00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:53,046 But no more practical jokes for you, dude. 453 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,280 Oh you guys. 454 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,318 I am so sorry. 455 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:05,558 It must be residual electricity from my heroic mission. 456 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,065 - No problemo. - We understand. 457 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,796 That made my loins tingle. 458 00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:16,137 No more practical jokes for me. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net