1 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,483 This is your universe. 2 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,751 This is your universe on drugs. 3 00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:37,631 I'm so sick of schlepping stuff around. 4 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,798 Am I the ship's engineer or the resident UPS guy? 5 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,241 I've always considered you more of a "jack-off" of all trades. 6 00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:46,609 - This is a pain in the ass. - Oh! 7 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:49,740 "Over a Bun Dance Ranch. " 8 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,274 - What is this place? - It's a fat farm! 9 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:55,879 - They got a place to grow fat? - No, you mental midget. 10 00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:58,356 It's a place to drop some extra pounds. 11 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:01,121 Then why don't they call it the "fat depository"? 12 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:04,619 Or... or the "fat toilet"? That's where I drop a load. 13 00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:07,792 Remember, if we're going to get rid of this stuff at a 400% markup, 14 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,199 we don't want to offend them. 15 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,135 So let's be sensitive about their problem. 16 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,435 Yeah, we don't want to scare these fatties off 17 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,236 and start a friggin' stampede. 18 00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,109 Hmm. 19 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,702 We got nothing to worry about... 20 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,236 fat people are jolly, right? 21 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,181 Maybe you should leave the talking to me. 22 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,013 - No, I got this. - Psst. 23 00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:28,145 - Are you the guy? - Of course I'm the guy. 24 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,179 I thought you were fat, not blind, lady. 25 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,418 - I'm not a lady. - Oh, sorry. 26 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,450 I've never seen cans like that on a man. 27 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,052 So what do you got for us? 28 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,155 For you, only the best. 29 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:41,531 Okay, now I see you've brought several sacks of money, 30 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,229 so let's... let's do a little business. 31 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,601 - What sacks of money? - The ones under your clothes. 32 00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:49,699 - Oh. So, how will you be paying? - A check! 33 00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:51,972 I'm amazed we got that after the way you treated them. 34 00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:54,980 He didn't treat them any differently than he treats us. 35 00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:56,572 Hey, Two-Ton Tessie, 36 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,880 when I want your opinion, I'll... 37 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,852 wait... I never want your opinion. 38 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:04,618 We get no respect, no money, no time off. 39 00:02:04,657 --> 00:02:08,058 All we seem to get are childish, derogatory comments. 40 00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:09,493 - Stupid say what? - No, 41 00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,225 stupid says that joke more than once and believes it will still work. 42 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,825 - What? - Never fails. 43 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,769 - You're just encouraging him. - Hey, leave me alone. 44 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,739 At least I'm not a bunch of adults acting like little kids. 45 00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:23,503 I'm a kid forced to act like an adult. 46 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,602 I'm so busy loading and unloading boxes, 47 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,170 I don't get to do anything normal teenagers do. 48 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:31,741 Just once, I'd like to hang out with someone under the age of infinity. 49 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:33,979 - He does have a point. - Think about it... 50 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,750 I've been forced to skip every typical rite of passage 51 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,654 and go directly to boredom. 52 00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:40,625 I never got to steal my parents' car 53 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:44,152 and get caught when they see the cell-phone pix on my MySpace page. 54 00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:47,166 And I never got to go to an all-night rave hopped up on X. 55 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,633 And I didn't even get to go to school, 56 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,468 making it impossible for me to have sex with my Social Studies teacher. 57 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:56,066 Wow, you really are missing the best parts of growing up. 58 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,667 Aw! 59 00:02:57,710 --> 00:03:00,770 God, teenagers are so moody. 60 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,283 Okay, I wanna run over and get this cashed. 61 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:15,692 Why don't you cretins hit the post office and pick up our mail? 62 00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:17,662 Oh, crap... 63 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,392 ...I think they spotted us. - Hell-io. 64 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:21,957 Would any of you like to purchase our literature? 65 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,265 It's only five kronigs. 66 00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:28,070 Any donation will cause the Father to smile on you kindly. 67 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:30,302 Speaking of dear old Dad, isn't that him over there? 68 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,378 You wanna go next, Whip? 69 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:42,547 Nah. People my age don't use snail mail. 70 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,523 It's all text messages, IMs and emails. 71 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,548 Sorry. 72 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,390 I might as well pick up Chode's. 73 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,794 Whoa... whoa. 74 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,390 Bill. Bill. Bill. 75 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,560 Ooh, a mortgage-reduction offer. 76 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:58,332 Aren't you throwing the wrong things in the trash? 77 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,305 Have you ever known Chode to pay a bill? 78 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,705 He never shorts a stripper. 79 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,335 Well, when MasterCard uses peristaltic waves 80 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:06,470 to shoot ping-pong balls out of her vagina, 81 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:08,241 Chode will pay with interest. 82 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,215 Hey, I think I've got something here. 83 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,617 It's a free vacation at an all-inclusive resort for the entire family. 84 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,554 Oh! And we look like a family? 85 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,147 If the Jolie-Pitts can pass, 86 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,489 a cow, a lizard, a purple penis with dreads 87 00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,289 and two robots have a shot. 88 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:25,422 You boco-brained morons. Yeah, it's a free trip, 89 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:28,400 but it's one of those scams where they let you have a great vacation, 90 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,335 then force you into investing in a boco time-share. 91 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,339 - Oh. - It's perfect! 92 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,136 - It is? - Yeah. 93 00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:38,405 A way to get you guys to stop bitching and moaning, and it's free? 94 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,776 With any luck, I can scam the other guests 95 00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:42,644 before the resort does. 96 00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:45,446 Hell, if they're stupid enough not to see through the BS in this letter, 97 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,918 they should be easy marks. 98 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,580 We knew it was a sales pitch. 99 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,384 We just didn't know if you knew. 100 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,789 Hmm... it says here "no robots. " 101 00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,521 For a free vacation, I'll find a way to pass. 102 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:57,051 Surprise surprise. 103 00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:59,530 - But what about Six? - I'm organically based 104 00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:02,591 with synthetic components. You're... 105 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,500 A semi-intelligent toaster. 106 00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:07,836 Jeez, would you guys shut up before I change my mind? 107 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,899 - Does that mean we're going? - Mmm. 108 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:12,467 We're going on vacation! 109 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:16,073 Oh, I can't wait to play shuffleboard. 110 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,849 Club Meditation. 111 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,721 Doesn't it sound relaxing? 112 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,521 Welcome to Club Meditation, madam. 113 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,427 If there is anything any of us can do to make your stay more comfortable, 114 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,227 do not hesitate to... whoa, what is up with your skin? 115 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,291 Oh, I told the tanning-booth attendant 116 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,963 I wanted to be sprayed a beautiful bronze for my vacation, 117 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,199 and he went a little overboard. 118 00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,969 - Very fetching, Miss... - Gussie. 119 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:47,776 Sheesh, I haven't been this excited since the TV was stuck on C-SPAN. 120 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,977 Nah, maybe not. 121 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,110 Mmm! 122 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:54,915 Where's Whip? 123 00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:58,617 With any luck, he's inside signing us up for hula lessons. 124 00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:02,622 Oh! This is it. 125 00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:06,393 Best in the place. Nothing too good for you folks. 126 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,332 All right, look... your tip is one kronig 127 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,233 no matter how much you kiss my ass. 128 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:13,534 Consider yourself lucky. It more than I get for kissing his... 129 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,131 Oh! Oh, no, sir. 130 00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:16,869 I do not accept any tips. 131 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:20,436 It is just a pleasure to serve such a nice family as yourselves. 132 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,473 Now don't forget... anything that any of us can do... 133 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,212 How about we plan our itinerary? 134 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:29,119 I want to hit the bar! I saw a guy in there 135 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,783 that couldn't take his eyes off my middle breast. 136 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:34,793 I hear their crude-oil baths do wonders for the complexion. 137 00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:38,024 Welcome, new members of our extended family. 138 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,932 We are pleased to announce we are boarding our mandatory shore cruise 139 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,868 on the lido dock at this time... 140 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,599 Well, it looks like our afternoon is planned for us. 141 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,800 Great, we can get the sales pitch out of the way 142 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,900 and spend the rest of our time on their dime. 143 00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,103 Whoa. 144 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,411 Someone pinch me. I must be dreaming. 145 00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:57,438 Ow! 146 00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,383 A pinch to grow an inch, 147 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,717 a sock to grow a block. 148 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,119 I'm sorry, I meant to say, 149 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,954 "Someone have sex with me. I must be dreaming. " 150 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:12,194 Anyone notice something special about the ship's hull? 151 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:15,496 That's right- it's equipped with a glass bottom 152 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:19,437 so you may enjoy the views of the various aquatic creatures. 153 00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:22,964 Wow, I knew there'd be fish, but look at all that beaver. 154 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,603 I dated a woman once who had a glass bottom. 155 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,239 Very sweet but not much to look at. 156 00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,848 Joey, I don't know if I can do this. 157 00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:34,717 Dude, come on! There's people who make coffee from beans 158 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,245 they pick out of monkey turds. This ain't nothing! 159 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,724 Okay okay, I'm down. 160 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,284 Slam it, slam it, slam it, 161 00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:45,092 slam it, slam it, slam it, 162 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,066 slam it, slam it... yeah! 163 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,534 Gene Simmons, eat your heart out. 164 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,197 Now what do you want to do? 165 00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,866 Let's all climb into an old beater 166 00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:58,274 and sing "Bohemian Rhapsody. " 167 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,148 Please make your way to the theater 168 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:06,982 where there'll be a short presentation about our lovely resort. 169 00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:10,511 Time for the unexpected high-pressure sales pitch. 170 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,222 Little did these shiny happy people know 171 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,923 that when they netted all these innocent little lemmings, 172 00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,989 they caught a man-eating lion. 173 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:28,440 Go go go go go go go! 174 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:32,644 Whaaaa... hooo! 175 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,415 Dude, are you all right? 176 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:46,482 No. After all this liquor, I can't feel squat. 177 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,323 What? 178 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,886 I think I just peed myself. Ha ha! 179 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:55,230 I wish those geriatric stick-in-the-muds could see me now. 180 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,800 Hell-io, Krishna. Hell-io, Krishna... 181 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,839 - Six, Six, wake up. - Hell-io, brother. 182 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,072 Now I see why they didn't want robots. 183 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,809 Hmm. So much for cyborg superiority. 184 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:14,781 Hell-io, Krishna. Hell-io hell-io, Krishna. 185 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,817 Hell-io, my children. 186 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:19,552 Hell-io, Father. 187 00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,719 Now that you see as I do 188 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,093 and do as I see fit, 189 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:27,156 I must ask your help in saving all of life 190 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:28,826 under God's rule. 191 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:32,827 You see, the universe has had a plague set upon it since its dawning. 192 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:37,741 And no, I'm not talking about frogs or unhealable boils. 193 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,768 Those are commonly known as herpes, 194 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:41,973 and there's nothing we can do to stop those. 195 00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:46,178 Believe me. No, I'm talking about money... 196 00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:48,709 the root of all living kind's sins. 197 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:52,315 - I thought that was religion. - We must gather it in great quantities, 198 00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:55,885 huge quantities, and remove it from temptation 199 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,193 so you may deliver me from debt... er, evil... 200 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:00,858 all of us from evil. 201 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,994 Now go forth and save your fellow beings. 202 00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:07,130 Do the Holy Father's will. 203 00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:13,936 Chode is disavowing money and doing the bidding of the Lord? 204 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,915 Wait a minute, where are the hidden cameras? 205 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:20,476 Ashton Kutcher, you little devil, you come out here right now. 206 00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:33,261 Sorry. You not on the list. 207 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,735 Hey, what kind of crap is that? 208 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,061 Sorry, you not on the list. 209 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:43,564 We may not be, but I think they are. 210 00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:45,543 So they are. 211 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,069 Hey, Paris, Luanne, Shtutgaard! 212 00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,193 Guys, it's me, Gus! 213 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,823 - How are you, sister? - Huh? 214 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,628 No. Snap out of it. 215 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,730 Wow, I've got complete control. 216 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,897 And I'll bet that means no more sissy jokes. 217 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:14,235 Yes, sister. 218 00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:16,264 How about I take you all back to the ship 219 00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:18,799 and I'll be your new king? Hmm? 220 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,142 Would you like to make a donation? 221 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,172 Okay okay, that money-grubbing thing could be a problem. 222 00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,912 Oh! Hey hey, brothers and sisters. 223 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:30,479 Thank you for your kind donation. 224 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:34,721 The Father will surely bestow God's grace upon you. 225 00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,423 Thank you for your kind donation. The Father... 226 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,728 Please just shut up, will you? 227 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,495 I'm all out, guys. Will you take a check? 228 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,696 Thank you anyway. The Father will surely... 229 00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:48,730 Stop it now. I can't take all this syrupy sweetness another second. 230 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,641 We understand. Thank you for your time. 231 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:52,666 Oh! 232 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:57,941 Okay, well, you met Paris and her friends. 233 00:11:57,983 --> 00:12:02,215 Oh, and that's Lindsay. Most of us guys just call her "fire crotch. " 234 00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:06,224 Hey! You want a taste? 235 00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,850 Sure! 236 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,451 Hey, what are you doing, dude? 237 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,622 She's just asking if you want some drugs. 238 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,393 I don't think so. 239 00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:16,230 I'm already sh... faced from all the beer. 240 00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:19,897 But this will enhance the sexual experience. 241 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,636 I don't feel any different. 242 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,769 Wait on... 243 00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:29,542 I feel like the biggest stud in the entire girl! 244 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,312 Ha ha! I said "girl. " 245 00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:39,389 Dude, I am so wasted! 246 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,916 - Whoo! - Hey hey! 247 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,622 Slow down. 248 00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:47,257 Oh, get lost. You're just jealous 'cause all the women 249 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,392 love me! 250 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:53,701 Me, baby, me. You... you poor excuse for a dude. 251 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:56,970 Uh-oh, looks like somebody's an angry drunk. 252 00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:58,738 No, I'm not! 253 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,111 Maybe somebody's a judgmental drunk, huh? 254 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,139 You! You ever think of that? 255 00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,414 By the way, pal o' mine, got any more of those pills? 256 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,920 Hey, guys, you know what? 257 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,979 The Father... THE Father... 258 00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,651 told me you all should come back to my ship. Mm-hmm. 259 00:13:13,692 --> 00:13:16,957 Just follow me and I'll give you sacks full of money. 260 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:20,830 Hell-io hell-io hell-io, Krish Krish Krish Krish... 261 00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,061 - What's that all about? - Who knows? 262 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,536 They show up here and after a day or two, 263 00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,232 their brains are fried. 264 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:30,731 You ever tried getting fried brain stains out of a carpet? 265 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:33,973 I've found a tablespoon of salt dissolved in seltzer 266 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,982 - does the trick nicely. - Thanks for the tip! 267 00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,916 Hmm. 268 00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:40,509 Brain fried? 269 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,680 Brain fry? 270 00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:45,588 Are you kidding? I'm finally living here. 271 00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:48,752 I've never felt better in my life. 272 00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:50,591 Maybe you're right. 273 00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:54,998 This is the place to be and you're the perfect dude to be here. 274 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:58,663 You're the man, Whip! You're the man. 275 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,969 Hey, Joey, I feel like I'm gliding. 276 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,202 These pills are kick-ass! 277 00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:06,370 How to get you out of this trance? 278 00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:09,610 Thank you. May I have another? 279 00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:14,242 Ha ha ha ha ha! Okay, now what? 280 00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:26,063 Watch. Oh, no, wait a minute... television puts you into a trance, 281 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,498 it doesn't take you out of one. Oh! 282 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,559 This is beyond frustrating. 283 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:34,437 You went from intelligent beings to moronic twits in the space of a minute. 284 00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,236 Oh, I need some help here. 285 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,743 Who knows about this sort of thing? Who? 286 00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:41,371 Whip! You teenage mutant ninja lizard, 287 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:44,041 you zone in and out like that 10 times a day. 288 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,779 Come on, Whip, pick up. 289 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,720 I need your help here. I can't save them by myself. 290 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,950 Hey, this is Whip's girlfriend, Jenny, 291 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,858 and you've reached Whip's cell. Leave him a message after the... 292 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,057 Wait a minute. There's a GPS beacon in Whip's phone! 293 00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,224 There you are! 294 00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,700 Why am I talking to myself? There I go again. 295 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,703 Oh, and again. 296 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:14,637 Good evening, Mr. Whip. My name is Dr. Hoffman 297 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:15,942 and I'm here to help. 298 00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:19,439 Then give me something, 'cause I'm coming down hard, man! 299 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,010 - I need a fix. - I'll let you in on a little secret: 300 00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,545 I know exactly what you're going through. 301 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:28,219 - You used to be a junkie? - Oh, good heavens, no. 302 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,626 I invented the mind-altering drug you took. 303 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,563 See, I make money on the front end, 304 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,964 and when idiot kids like you put it in their bodies, 305 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,492 - then I make even more to treat them. - Just give me something! 306 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:41,734 Relax. You'll be well taken care of. 307 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,969 Now where should we put you? Hmm. 308 00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:46,068 Well, there's the Robert Downey, Jr. Suite, 309 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,375 the Mel Gibson, the Rush Limbaugh, 310 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,974 the Liza Minnelli, the Kurt Cobain- Courtney Love honeymoon suite, 311 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,677 the Charlie Sheen, the Billy Joel, 312 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:54,618 the Whitney Houston, the Matthew Perry, the Nick Nolte, 313 00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:56,780 the Nicole Richie, the Robin Williams, the Elizabeth Taylor, 314 00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,756 - the Kate Moss... - I don't care! 315 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,385 - The Whitney Houston! - Good choice. 316 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:04,396 You'll find it between the Kennedy and Osbourne family timeshares. 317 00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,492 Huh? 318 00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,629 Dah dah ughh! 319 00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:14,969 - Time for your meds. - Ahh! 320 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,337 - What is it? - The same thing you're addicted to. 321 00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,744 How is that gonna get me off the stuff? 322 00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:25,648 Ah-ho! No, we're not trying to get you off of it, silly. 323 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:28,152 We'd never have any repeat business. 324 00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,087 You're here to learn to disguise the symptoms 325 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:33,785 and increase your functionality in a private and protected atmosphere. 326 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:37,421 Trying to get you off it! 327 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,061 Mr. Whip, good morning. You're looking fine. 328 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,693 May I recommend the sugar cereals? 329 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,296 Nothing keeps a good buzz going like some fortified poison. 330 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,272 Thank you, thank you. I've been craving some Krisp. 331 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,275 Y- y-y-you got Krisp? 332 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:53,403 Sure. And each guest is provided with their very own couch 333 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,470 to eat and sleep on till late afternoon. 334 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:58,642 - Daytime TV? - Nothing but soaps and Springer. 335 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,118 You've got this drug lifestyle down to a science. 336 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,644 - We aim to please. - I don't understand. 337 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,453 This drug was designed to be very powerful 338 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,857 and hard to kick. 339 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,691 Well, addicted or not, I have to get him out now. 340 00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:13,095 Our friends are in trouble, and if we don't do something soon, 341 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,463 their brains will turn to mush. 342 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,492 If we don't do something for Whip, his brains will turn to mush. 343 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,903 Yes, but in Whip's case, it doesn't seem like such a big loss, you know? 344 00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:23,271 Yeah, I see your point. 345 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:26,471 Grace, can you have Whip brought into my office? 346 00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:27,501 Yes, Doctor. 347 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,310 I knew I should have put him in the Britney Spears suite... 348 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,782 built-in revolving door. 349 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,912 Come here often? 350 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,514 Oh, about ever six months. It's great. 351 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,185 You can relax, score drugs legally, 352 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,217 and parents aren't around to give you shit about it. 353 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:45,389 Yeah, this place is awesome. 354 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:46,989 I'm sorry, but are you famous? 355 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:51,128 No, not yet. My sex tape doesn't drop till next Tuesday. 356 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:54,298 You wanna come to the premiere party? It's gonna be off the hook. 357 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:56,398 Ah, I don't know. 358 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,138 I like it here so much, I may never leave. 359 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,975 Hey, what's going on? 360 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:05,575 - Someone's here to take you home. - Nooooo! 361 00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:07,846 We've got to hurry. 362 00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,286 Chode and the girls are going to turn into vegetables 363 00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:12,222 if we don't figure out a way to unbrainwash them. 364 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,191 And why do you think I can help? 365 00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,854 Because you're the smartest vegetable I know. 366 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:19,159 Hey, Whip, you forgot something. 367 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:22,895 - What's this for? - What you seek is inside. 368 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,529 - My soul? - Look inward 369 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:28,904 - and you will find happiness. - I'm not following. 370 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,638 Break the friggin' statue open and there's a stash of drugs inside. 371 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,771 Oooh! Thanks. 372 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,805 Come again! Real soon. 373 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,553 - Peace... ... and tranquility... 374 00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,920 ...throughout the universe. 375 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,983 Ha ha ha! Oh, man. We gotta mess with them a little. 376 00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:51,223 - I already did, okay? There's no time. - All right, all right. 377 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,992 - What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 378 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,057 You tell me what you do to pull yourself back from the edge of retardom. 379 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,831 Let's see... I sometimes rub one out. 380 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,998 Orgasms always seem to improve my focus. 381 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:06,676 Uh-huh? A nap? Video games? 382 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,543 Staring at Six's wet naked body 383 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,411 via the camera in the vent above her shower? 384 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:14,317 It's worth a try. 385 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,716 Tha... tha... thank you, 386 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,658 my... my brother. 387 00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:24,287 Oh my God, it's happening. What are we going to do? 388 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,627 We have to alter their minds or they're doomed. 389 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,860 A- a-alter their minds? 390 00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:33,433 - Are those drugs? - There you are, my precious. 391 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:36,373 Oh ho! They want to destroy the precious! 392 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:39,400 We won't let them, will we, precious? 393 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:45,507 Take your fingers out of my mouth or I'll bite them. 394 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,576 - Go ahead. - I will. Trust me, I'll do it. 395 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,314 Ouch! 396 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,187 - So are these mind-altering drugs? - Yeah, but they're all I got. 397 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:55,716 I need 'em. Come on, man, just a taste. Just a little taste. 398 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:59,356 I guess becoming an addict is better than your brains turning to oatmeal. 399 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:03,300 No! No! 400 00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:05,599 But if they're going to end up like you, 401 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:07,400 perhaps I should have let them go. 402 00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:14,636 - W-what's going on? - Is this the resort spa? 403 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,444 Hey, who put me in a friggin' dress? 404 00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:22,112 - Is this your idea of homo fun? - They're ba-a-ack! 405 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,547 Wow, we cleaned up. 406 00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:27,752 We should go religious a little more often. 407 00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:30,990 And I don't know what the hell that brainwashing does to you, 408 00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,894 but I've never felt so rested. 409 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,058 Me neither. I'm a new woman. 410 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:38,001 I feel like I can run a mile in under four minutes. 411 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:41,233 - How wonderful for you all. - What's your problem? 412 00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,901 I'm feeling more tired and stressed out than before. 413 00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:46,376 I need a vacation from our vacation. 414 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,743 Ahh... ah ah ahhh! 415 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,475 I think the detox is working. 416 00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:53,678 At least now he can shut up about the missed childhood. 417 00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:56,984 It sounds like he did more in a weekend than most do all year. 418 00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,684 Yeah, be careful what you wish for, Whip. 419 00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:03,090 All right, all right, Gus, how about this? 420 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:05,790 The next time we go on a vacation, you pick the spot. 421 00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:09,267 Oh, Chode, that's the nicest thing you've ever done for me. 422 00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,667 Mmm, now where should we... 423 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,534 We're never going on vacation again, are we? 424 00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,130 Nope. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net