1 00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:11,144 [BEEPING] 2 00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:13,813 - WE GOT COMPANY. 3 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,960 - ATTENTION, UNIDENTIFIED AIRCRAFT. 4 00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:30,497 THIS IS COLONEL STEVE CONWAY OF THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE. 5 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:32,799 YOU'RE CURRENTLY FLYING IN RESTRICTED AIR SPACE. 6 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:33,800 - OH, DAMMIT. 7 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,034 -WHAT? 8 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,503 - YOU WILL FOLLOW US TO THE NEAREST LANDING AREA. 9 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,004 IF YOU FAIL TO COMPLY, 10 00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,206 WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO SHOOT YOU DOWN. 11 00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:43,176 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 12 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,249 [FOOTSTEPS] 13 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,451 - LET ME HANDLE THIS. 14 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,887 - SIR, YOUR CRAFT IS UNREGISTERED, 15 00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:56,423 AND YOU'VE FAILED TO FILE A FLIGHT PLAN. 16 00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:57,991 JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 17 00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:59,893 - DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO 18 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:02,429 THAN HARASS INNOCENT PEOPLE TRYING TO GET TO MARRAKESH? 19 00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:03,997 - ZIP IT, GRANDPA. I'M SPEAKING TO THE PILOT. 20 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,899 - GRANDPA?! WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW-- 21 00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,901 - SIR, I AM NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN. 22 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:10,570 - IT'S ALL RIGHT, SOLDIER. I GOT SPECIAL CLEARANCE. 23 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,806 I'M WITH A TOP-SECRET BRANCH OF THE GOVERNMENT. 24 00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:16,075 SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, WE HAVE A MISSION TO GET BACK TO. 25 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:19,412 - SIR, THIS I.D. EXPIRED 6 MONTHS AGO. 26 00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:21,047 - [GROANS] 27 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:24,250 GREAT. WHEN MARRAKESH IS OVERRUN BY MUTANT LIZARD PEOPLE, 28 00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:25,852 DON'T COME CRYING TO ME. 29 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,005 - GRANDPA! 30 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,573 HOW DARE THEY! 31 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,575 I'M ONLY 43. STILL A YOUNG MAN. 32 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:24,143 MAYBE A LITTLE FRAYED AROUND THE EDGES, 33 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,679 BUT WHO WOULDN'T BE BETWEEN MY WORK AND RAISING TWO BOYS? 34 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,015 CRAP. WHO AM I KIDDING? 35 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,483 MY LOOKS ARE GOING DOWN THE TOILET 36 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,685 FASTER THAN AN UNWANTED PREGNANCY ON PROM NIGHT. 37 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:36,422 I WAS RUSTY VENTURE, BOY-FRIGGIN'-WONDER. 38 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,057 NOW LOOK AT ME. 39 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,063 I CAN'T GO ON DENYING THE WORLD MY EXTRA-GREATNESS. 40 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:47,233 I SHOULD BE OUT THERE MIXING IT UP, HAVING FUN. 41 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:50,336 THAT'S IT! I JUST NEED A LITTLE "ME" TIME 42 00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:52,205 TO PUT THE SPRING BACK IN MY STEP. 43 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,340 OH, AND A SUPER-HOT CAR! 44 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,280 - [GROANS] 45 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,548 - DON'T WORRY, BROCK. 46 00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:03,750 YOU'LL BE ABLE TO KILL GUYS AGAIN IN NO TIME! 47 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:06,052 - AND FLY JETS AND DO SECRET AGENT STUFF. 48 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,620 - HANK AND I ARE ON THE CASE. 49 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,890 WITH OUR HELP, YOU'RE SURE TO ACE THE AGENT'S EXAM, NO PROB. 50 00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,059 [ENGINE APPROACHING] 51 00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:18,298 - WHOA! LOOK AT THOSE WHEELS! 52 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,600 - HEY, GLOOMY GUS. HOP IN. 53 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,669 I'VE GOT A TOP-SECRET MISSION FOR YOU, BUDDY. 54 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:26,072 - I CAN'T. I'M NOT A SECRET AGENT ANYMORE. 55 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,541 - HO HO HO! YOU DON'T NEED A LICENSE 56 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,677 FOR OPERATION "GET ME SOME." 57 00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:32,312 - WHAT'S GOT INTO YOU? 58 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,981 - COME ON, BROCK. TWO YOUNG STUDS LIKE US, 59 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,051 WE'RE SHOW PONIES. WE NEED TO STRUT OUR STUFF. 60 00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:40,453 WHAT SAY WE MAKE THE SCENE? 61 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,555 - I GOTTA SEE THIS. 62 00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,624 MOVE OVER. I'M DRIVING. 63 00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,092 - WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING? 64 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:49,162 - AND WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THE CLOWN ON MY LAMP, POP? 65 00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:51,464 - BOYS' NIGHT OUT. DON'T WAIT UP FOR US. 66 00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,766 DEAN, YOU'RE IN CHARGE. 67 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,101 CIAO. 68 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,370 [ENGINE REVVING] 69 00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,640 - YOU HEAR THAT? I'M IN CHARGE, 70 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:04,277 AND I THINK IT'S JUST ABOUT WITTLE HANKY'S BEDTIME. 71 00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,845 - OH, TAKE A BOW. 72 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,714 - POUGHKEEPSIE! 73 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,988 - OH, HOLD ON A SEC. 74 00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:16,689 [HUMMING] 75 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,324 HOW DO I LOOK? BE BRUTAL. 76 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,994 - YOU LOOK LIKE A BIG... 77 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,328 DOLL. 78 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:25,331 - RRRUSTY IS BACK. 79 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:29,102 [CLUB MUSIC PLAYING] 80 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,470 [SIGHS] 81 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:33,206 OH, PRETTY DEAD IN HERE, HUH? 82 00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:35,775 HA HA! NOT A WHOLE LOT OF TALENT. 83 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,344 - DOESN'T USUALLY GET JUMPIN' TILL 11:00. 84 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,813 AND, YOU KNOW, ON A FRIDAY. 85 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,415 - CAN I HELP YOU GENTLEMEN? 86 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,950 - BUD. - YOU GOT IT, APE-DRAPE. 87 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:44,951 - [GROANS] 88 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,519 - A BUD FOR CAPTAIN MULLET-HEAD. 89 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,788 - [GROANING] 90 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,160 - HOW 'BOUT YOU, PROFESSOR? 91 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,496 - OH. UM... 92 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:59,065 I'LL HAVE A ROB ROY. 93 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,900 WHAT? 94 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,404 SO, TEACH ME, BROCK. I'M A QUICK STUDY. 95 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,773 HOW DO YOU PICK UP THE WOMEN? 96 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,375 - JUST GOTTA THROW THE VIBE OUT THERE. 97 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,213 - AH. WELL, THE WELCOME MAT'S OUT. 98 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,715 LET'S SEE WHO COMES A-KNOCKING. 99 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,017 OH, BROCK, CHECK OUT THE MAIN STAGE, 100 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,285 BUT DON'T MAKE IT OBVIOUS. 101 00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:21,087 RUSTY LIKE. 102 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,955 SHE'S LOOKING AT ME. WHAT DO I DO? 103 00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,291 - GIVE HER, LIKE, 5 BUCKS. 104 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,896 - CAN YOU BREAK THIS? 105 00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:35,435 - UH-HUH. 106 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,870 THAT'S A NICE MEDALLION YOU GOT THERE, BABY. 107 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,806 - HA HA! OH, THIS? 108 00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,607 SCIENCE PRIZE, '79. 109 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,076 THE BEST PAPER I EVER WROTE. 110 00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,478 TURNED THE WHOLE GRAVITY THING UPSIDE DOWN. 111 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:47,914 AND THAT PUN WAS INTENTIONAL, HONEY. 112 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,382 SHE'S TOTALLY INTO ME. 113 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,917 THIS IS TOO EASY. WHERE'S THE CAPTURE AND KILL? 114 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,186 OH, OK. BYE! HA HA! 115 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:54,654 SHALL I FOLLOW HER? 116 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,355 - BE RIGHT BACK. 117 00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:59,158 HEY. 118 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,426 - HI. 119 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,898 - OK. LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 120 00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:08,601 $15, GRANDPA'S CATCHER'S MITT, 121 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,570 AND YOU'LL BE MY SLAVE FOR THE NIGHT. 122 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:12,972 GIVE IT. 123 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,274 - THE WHOLE THING. 124 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:20,513 [PANTING] 125 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,348 - DUDE, I SPIT IN THAT. 126 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,751 [CLUB MUSIC PLAYING] 127 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,193 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 128 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,946 [CLUB MUSIC PLAYING] 129 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:56,082 - I CAN'T DO THIS! 130 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,251 [ZIPS] 131 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,189 - OH, YOU'RE BACK. YOU DIDN'T MISS MUCH. 132 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,158 OH, ONE OF THEM WAS DRESSED LIKE A CHEERLEADER 133 00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:07,059 AND SAID SHE WAS 19, BUT SHE HAD A CESAREAN SCAR, 134 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,394 AND HER FACE HAD MORE LINES ON IT 135 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,196 THAN A MIRROR AT STUDIO 54. 136 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,497 - I GOTTA GO. 137 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,766 - WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DITCH ME! 138 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,601 YOU'RE MY BODYGUARD! 139 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:17,303 - HOW CAN I BE? 140 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,272 - LEAVING US SO SOON, HOCKEY HAIR? 141 00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:21,507 - [GROANING] 142 00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:28,181 - AHEM. COMPLIMENTS OF THE LADY AT THE END OF THE BAR. 143 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,652 - [LOW MANLY VOICE] HE'S COMING OVER. 144 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:35,221 - HE TOOK THE BAIT! EXCELLENT. 145 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,856 IT'S ALL GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN. 146 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:41,494 PROCEED WITH PHASE II, DR. GIRLFRIEND: ENSNAREMENT. 147 00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:48,634 - MAKE IT SHINE, GUNGA DIN. 148 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,770 - YES, EFFENDI. 149 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:54,006 - SO I SAID, "LISTEN, MY DAD INVENTED UNIVAC, 150 00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:55,374 SO I THINK I WOULD KNOW." 151 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,210 WELL, THAT UPPITY LITTLE T.A. 152 00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:59,779 DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY MORE TROUBLE THE REST OF THE SEMESTER. 153 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:03,049 - UH? OH. HA HA HA! 154 00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:04,684 YOU DOG, YOU. 155 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,419 - THAT'S IT, PRECIOUS. 156 00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:08,087 MAKE HIM THINK YOU'RE INTERESTED. 157 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:12,325 NOW, TWIRL YOUR HAIR. GOOD. 158 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:14,493 OK, RUN YOUR FINGER AROUND THE RIM OF YOUR-- 159 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,162 OH, EXCELLENT. JUST LIKE THAT. 160 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,763 YOU'RE DOING GREAT, PUMPKIN. 161 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,131 - SO, I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME. 162 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,667 - OH, CRAP! WE NEVER PLANNED FOR THIS CONTINGENCY. 163 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:23,269 QUICK! MAKE SOMETHING UP! 164 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,406 - [HAWKING] 165 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:30,576 - NO WAY, JOSE! 166 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,746 - DRINK IT, SLAVE! YOUR MASTER COMMANDS YOU. 167 00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,748 [DOOR SLAMS] 168 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:36,749 - HEY, BROCK! 169 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:37,750 - GO TO BED. 170 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,820 [SIGHS] 171 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,288 WHY WOULD YOU DRESS LIKE THAT? 172 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,524 - DEAN LOST A BET, AND NOW HE'S MY SLAVE, 173 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,193 AND HE'S REFUSING A DIRECT ORDER TO DRINK THIS. 174 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,562 - YOU NEVER WELCH ON A BET, DEAN. 175 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,964 BE A MAN. DRINK IT. 176 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:55,434 YOU GO TO BED. YOUR FATHER'S GONNA BE... 177 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:58,304 [MUMBLING] 178 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,343 - BROCK LOOKS LIKE HELL. 179 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,945 - DRINK IT. 180 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,348 - SO, UH...THIS IS ME. 181 00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:11,584 - UM, UH, UM... 182 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,819 OK, CHARLENE. UH... 183 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,221 HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU MY NUMBER 184 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,690 TO MY PRIVATE TWO-WAY WRIST COMMUNICATOR WATCH? 185 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:21,527 - HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU A RIDE TO YOUR PLACE? 186 00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:22,929 - UM... 187 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,197 [MOANING] 188 00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,972 - YES, YES. MORE TONGUE. 189 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,707 STROKE HIS EAR. 190 00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,542 LIKE THAT. YES. 191 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,277 YES. 192 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,745 OH, YOU'RE GOOD. 193 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:41,414 YOU ARE GOOD. 194 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,784 THAT'S MY GOOD GIRL. 195 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,161 [MOANING] 196 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,764 - HUH? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 197 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,100 - UH, I WAS GETTING JUICE. 198 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,802 I'M THIRSTY. 199 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,838 - DO YOU HAVE ANY CONDOMS? 200 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,773 - WHAT? - JUST A MOMENT. 201 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,076 - WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WITH HIM! 202 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:22,955 - HUH. CONDOMS. RUSTY DOESN'T NEED GADGETS TO PLEASE A WOMAN. 203 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,558 OH, HEY! OW! NO! 204 00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:27,526 SO YOU LIKE IT ROU... 205 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:30,997 - NO WORRIES, BROCK. 206 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:33,032 I'LL WALK YOU THROUGH THE WRITTEN PORTION. 207 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:35,167 QUESTION 1. AHEM. 208 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:36,836 YOU'RE IN PRAGUE. 209 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:38,571 A SNIPER'S IN THE WINDOW ABOVE YOU. 210 00:10:38,637 --> 00:10:40,106 THERE'S AN ALLIGATOR BEHIND YOU 211 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:42,174 AND A GRIZZLY BEAR IN FRONT OF YOU. 212 00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,543 WHAT DO YOU DO? DO YOU-- 213 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,345 - BACK SOMERSAULT. PRY OFF THE ALLIGATOR'S JAW. 214 00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,314 USE IT AS A BOOMERANG TO TAKE OUT THE SNIPER. 215 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,849 WHEN HE FALLS OUT THE WINDOW, 216 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:52,084 THE GRIZZLY WILL GO STRAIGHT FOR THE EASIER MEAL. 217 00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:56,389 - UM...THE ANSWER'S C. 218 00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:59,091 - AH. MORNING, ALL. 219 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,526 - HEY, POP. 220 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,295 - WOW, I'M BUSHED. DIDN'T GET A LICK OF SLEEP. 221 00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:04,997 - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECK? 222 00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,265 - OH, THIS? HEH HEH! 223 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:10,169 LOVE BITE. YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU'RE OLDER. 224 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,804 BROCK, I'M ALL OUT OF CONDOM. 225 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:14,106 COULD YOU PICK ME UP ONE IF YOU GO OUT? 226 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:17,243 - OK, NEXT QUESTION. 227 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:20,813 YOU HEAR MUFFLED WHIMPERS COMING FROM THE TRUNK OF A LIMOUSINE. 228 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,149 - WELL, I'LL SEE YOU FELLAS A LITTLE LATER. 229 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:24,150 - HOWEVER-- 230 00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:25,217 - GOING BACK UPSTAIRS. 231 00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:26,919 - THE LIMOUSINE HAS DIPLOMATIC PLATES. 232 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,021 - AND I HAVE TWO COFFEES. 233 00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,127 - MONARCH'S OUTSIDE. 234 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:38,097 - RISE AND SHINE, LOVIN' SPOONFUL. 235 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,734 CARE FOR A LITTLE PICK-ME-UP BEFORE ROUND 2? 236 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,436 HUH? 237 00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:45,337 FUN STUFF? 238 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,181 I DON'T CARE. 239 00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:56,849 - HE'S NOT BUYING IT. 240 00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:57,950 - OH, I KNOW! 241 00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,753 TELL HIM YOU THINK IT'S MOVING TOO FAST. 242 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,388 - LET'S CUT RIGHT TO THE GRATE. 243 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,790 HOW 'BOUT YOU SWING BY, I DON'T KNOW, 244 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:09,995 I'M THINKING LIKE 6:30-ISH, AND PICK OL' DOC UP? HA HA! 245 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,430 OH, DON'T BE FOOLISH. 246 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,233 YOU DON'T NEED TO WASH YOUR HAIR BEFORE OUR DATE. 247 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,601 - [SIGHS] 248 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,770 OK, FINE. I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 6-- 249 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:18,771 - WHAT?! 250 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:19,872 - 30. 251 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:20,873 - I FORBID IT! 252 00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,241 - HE WOULDN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 253 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,576 I HAVE TO GO. 254 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:25,377 - NOT UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO PLANT A BOMB IN HIS CAR. 255 00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:27,446 - IT'LL LOOK SUSPICIOUS IF I DON'T. 256 00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:28,848 - POISON HIS DRINK? 257 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,416 - I HAVE TO GET READY. 258 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,718 - AGH! YOU'RE FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM. 259 00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:33,919 [GASPS] 260 00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:37,790 YOU...SLEPT WITH HIM, DIDN'T YOU?! 261 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,026 - WELL, I SCORED YOUR SAMPLE TEST, BROCK, 262 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,095 AND, WELL, YOU DID BETTER THAN HANK DID, 263 00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:45,965 BUT LET'S JUST SAY YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO AWFULLY WELL 264 00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,299 ON THE PHYSICAL PORTION. 265 00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:49,935 - NO PROBLEM. YOUR TRAINING BEGINS NOW. 266 00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:52,104 DRINK UP! 267 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:53,839 YOUR ASS IS MINE, SAMSON. 268 00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:55,441 WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU, 269 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,077 YOU'RE GONNA EAT LIGHTNING AND CRAP THUNDER! 270 00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:01,480 - LOOKS MORE LIKE HE'S GONNA DRINK EGGS AND CRAP...EGGS. 271 00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:03,616 - WELL, I'M OFF ON MY DATE. 272 00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:05,985 BROCK, WATCH THE BOYS WHILE I'M GONE, WILL YOU? 273 00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:07,520 YOU'RE STILL ALLOWED TO DO THAT MUCH, RIGHT? 274 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,688 - I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT THAT HICKEY, DOC. 275 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:13,959 - OH, BROCK, DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT FALLING IN LOVE. 276 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:15,161 - THAT'S NOT WHAT I-- 277 00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:16,529 - AND WHAT WOULD BE WRONG WITH THAT IF I WAS? 278 00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:18,364 THE BOYS NEED A NEW MOMMY. 279 00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:19,832 RUSTY NEEDS A NEW MOMMY. 280 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,034 - WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO OUR OLD MOMMY WAS. 281 00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:24,203 - OH. THAT'S RIGHT. 282 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,905 I'VE NEVER REALLY TOLD YOU ABOUT HER. 283 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,106 [SIGHS] 284 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:28,107 WELL, SHE WAS-- 285 00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,141 [HORN HONKING] 286 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,709 THAT'LL BE CHARLENE. GOTTA RUN, BOYS. 287 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,811 DON'T STAY UP TOO LATE! 288 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,214 - DID YOU SPIT IN THIS? 289 00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:38,217 - DON'T EYEBALL ME, SAMSON. DRINK IT! 290 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,286 [MUSIC PLAYING] 291 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:42,555 - ♪ IT'S TOUGH JUST MAKING IT THROUGH ♪ 292 00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:45,291 ♪ THE GAME IS GONNA BE YOU... ♪ 293 00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:02,675 ♪ THIS IS THE MOMENT ♪ 294 00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:05,444 ♪ THE VERY INSTANT ♪ 295 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,581 ♪ THE BEST WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... ♪ 296 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,449 - COME ON, BROCK! 297 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,252 YOU NEED STRONG CARDIOVASCULAR AND AGILITY TRAINING. 298 00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:14,787 - NO. 299 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,429 - ♪ THIS IS THE MOMENT ♪ 300 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:25,998 ♪ THE VERY INSTANT... ♪ 301 00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,200 - YOU'RE NOTHING! YOU'RE WEAK! 302 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,669 WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT TO BE A SECRET AGENT, BOY? 303 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:31,870 YOU THINK YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH? 304 00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:34,607 - HANK, SERIOUSLY, WHEN I GET MY LICENSE BACK, 305 00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:35,941 I'M ALLOWED TO KILL YOU. 306 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:38,110 - OH. SORRY, BROCK. 307 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,215 I PACKED A LUNCH FOR YOU, BOLOGNA AND CHEESE, 308 00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:45,117 AND I CUT THE CRUSTS OFF THE WAY I LIKE. 309 00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:46,986 - AND I DOWNLOADED A BUNCH OF CRIB NOTES 310 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,454 INTO YOUR COMMUNICATOR WATCH. 311 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,155 YOU GET STUCK ON ONE OF THE HARD QUESTIONS, 312 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,423 JUST LOOK IT UP. 313 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,325 - [BEEPING] 314 00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,798 [ENGINE STARTING] 315 00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:03,302 - [HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAL] 316 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:04,703 - WHAT'S WRONG? 317 00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:05,904 - WHAT'S THE MATTER? 318 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,573 - I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU ALL. 319 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,576 THOSE OF YOU WITH WEAK STOMACHS SHOULD LEAVE NOW. 320 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,545 WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE IS A NIGHTMARE 321 00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:16,415 INEXPLICABLY TORN FROM THE PAGES OF KAFKA. 322 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,717 - HOLY CRAP! WHAT HAPPENED? 323 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:21,053 - APPARENTLY, THIS IS THE REWARD I GET 324 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,322 FOR YEARS OF SCREWING WITH SUPER SCIENCE. 325 00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,791 IN SHORT, I PISSED IN GOD'S EYE, 326 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,192 AND HE BLINKED. 327 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:28,360 - GOLLY. DOES IT HURT? 328 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,896 - NO, BUT THE POKING DOES. LET'S STOP THAT NOW. 329 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,932 - SORRY. HEY, WHAT'S H.E.L.P.eR GOTTEN INTO? 330 00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,835 - THAT APPEARS TO BE MY DERMIS. 331 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:39,004 - WOW. I BET IF YOU PUT THAT UNDER YOUR PILLOW, 332 00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,806 THE TOOTH FAIRY WILL GIVE YOU, LIKE, A GRAND! 333 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,742 - OK, HANK, YOU ARE TAKING THIS WAY TOO WELL. 334 00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:45,077 - WELL, GEE, DAD, 335 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,379 WE'VE SEEN A LOT OF STRANGE STUFF OVER THE YEARS. 336 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,615 LAST WEEK WE WERE FIGHTING A GIANT DINOSAUR. 337 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,950 - GRANTED, BUT I WASN'T THE DINOSAUR. 338 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,585 CAN'T YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS MAYBE DIFFERENT? 339 00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,254 WHERE'S BROCK? WHERE'S DEAN? 340 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:58,524 - I--I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HEARING THIS! 341 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:01,794 HE'S TURNED YOU AGAINST ME WITH HIS OILY SEX-- 342 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,330 OH! THAT CUNNING CASANOVA. 343 00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:05,597 - I'M NOT AGAINST YOU. 344 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,800 I JUST FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT I DID. 345 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:08,967 - YOU SHOULD! 346 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,103 SCREWING HIM WAS NEVER PART OF THE PLAN! 347 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:15,274 - NOT THAT. I MEAN INJECTING HIM WITH THAT HORRIBLE SERUM. 348 00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:18,477 - NO, SEE, THAT PART YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD ABOUT. 349 00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,312 THAT WAS THE PLAN! 350 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,081 - HE'S NOT SUCH A BAD GUY 351 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,682 IF YOU TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW HIM. 352 00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:26,452 YOU TWO ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. 353 00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:28,754 - YEAH, WE DO NOW. 354 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,390 - I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM. 355 00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:33,792 - PROVE IT. 356 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:36,095 - WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO? 357 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,262 H.E.L.P.eR! 358 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,263 - [BEEPING] 359 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,865 - I NEED YOU TO BE MY HANDS 360 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,734 IF I'M TO FIND AN ANTIDOTE TO THIS DILEMMA. 361 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,703 OK, WE'LL START WITH THE CHLOROPHOSPHATE; 362 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,505 MAYBE A LITTLE DIASPOROUS PEPTIDES. 363 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,307 A LITTLE...UGH! 364 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,409 THE GREEN ONE, THE RED ONE, AND THE BLUE ONE! 365 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,678 [DOOR CLOSES] 366 00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:57,750 - YEAH, I'M HERE TO TAKE MY... SECRET AGENT TEST. 367 00:16:57,816 --> 00:17:01,053 - AH, MR. SAMSON. EXCELLENT. OK. 368 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,354 PLEASE EMPTY YOUR POCKETS 369 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:03,989 OF ANY PIECES OF PAPER YOU MIGHT HAVE ON YOUR PERSON, 370 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,657 AND I'LL ESCORT YOU TO THE TESTING AREA. 371 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:09,995 OH, AND PLEASE REMOVE YOUR TWO-WAY COMMUNICATOR WATCH. 372 00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:11,163 - DAMMIT. 373 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,966 - NO. NO! NO! NO! 374 00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,901 BAD ROBOT. BAD H.E.L.P.eR! 375 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,904 WE DON'T DO THAT! WE DO NOT EAT TEST TUBES. 376 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,873 COME HERE. 377 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,108 I'M NOT PLAYING GAMES HERE. 378 00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,910 - [MOANING] 379 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,378 - WHAT? YOU DON'T FEEL WELL NOW? 380 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:28,013 WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? 381 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,982 YOU'RE MIXING ACIDS AND BASES THERE. 382 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:31,950 [SHATTERING] 383 00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:33,552 NO! H.E.L.P.eR! 384 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:34,787 NO! 385 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,688 - [GROANING] 386 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:44,596 - THIS TEST WILL, UH, TEST YOUR ACUMEN WITH FIREARMS. 387 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:45,664 YOU'LL HAVE TWO MIN-- 388 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,766 - UH-UH. NO GUNS. I DON'T USE GUNS. 389 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,234 - THE 9 MILLIMETER GLOCK 390 00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,003 IS STANDARD ISSUE TO ALL AGENTS IN THE FIELD. 391 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:52,004 YOU'RE REQUIRED TO-- 392 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,405 - GUNS ARE FOR... 393 00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:55,741 [BUZZER] 394 00:17:57,376 --> 00:17:59,711 [GROWLING] 395 00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:05,784 [SIZZLING] 396 00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:08,086 [PANTING] 397 00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:12,758 UH... 398 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,264 - [BEEPING] 399 00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,866 - OH, JUST DO IT, H.E.L.P.eR! 400 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,534 USE THE SPECIAL HAND ATTACHMENTS I GAVE YOU 401 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,736 AND JUST PULL THE TRIGGER! 402 00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,672 - [BEEPING] 403 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,243 - OH, YOU UNGRATEFUL METAL PANSY! 404 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,644 SOME HELP YOU-- 405 00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:34,913 [MUMBLING] 406 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:52,097 HMM. 407 00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:00,973 - WELL, LET'S SEE HERE, MR. SAMSON. 408 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,274 ON THE DRIVING PORTION, 409 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,243 YOU TOTALED EVERY CAR BUT THE ONE YOU WERE DRIVING. 410 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,979 ON THE PISTOL RANGE, YOU REFUSED TO USE A GUN. 411 00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,948 AND OH, HA! YEAH, HERE'S MY FAVORITE. 412 00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:12,618 ON THE WRITTEN, YOU DREW A LITTLE GUY WITH WINGS 413 00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:14,286 FROM THE LED ZEPPELIN RECORDS. 414 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,754 - ICARUS. 415 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,857 SO, UH, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME HERE, LITTLE MAN? 416 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,559 THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ZEPP? 417 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:27,366 - MY FATHER IS GENERAL TRACETER. 418 00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:31,637 YOU SAVED HIS LIFE. THE MAN SPOKE OF YOU AS A GOD... 419 00:19:31,703 --> 00:19:33,438 AND YOU DID NOT DISAPPOINT. 420 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:37,476 - OH, YEAH. I USED TO BABY-SIT YOU. 421 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,882 - HEY, POP. 422 00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,150 W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 423 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:47,052 - I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T STOP MYSELF. 424 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,921 I'M COMPELLED. 425 00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:50,255 - LOOKS HARD. 426 00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:52,724 - NOT REALLY. THE LITTLE BACK LEGS DO MOST OF THE WORK. 427 00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,092 - CAN I TRY? 428 00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:55,561 - LISTEN TO ME, HANK. 429 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,829 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME WHEN I FINISH WITH THIS. 430 00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:01,366 I COULD TURN INTO SOMETHING NEW AND HIDEOUS, MONSTROUS. 431 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,101 UPON EXITING THIS HORRIBLE THING, 432 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:04,803 I MIGHT TRY TO KILL ONE OR ALL OF YOU. 433 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,104 - GOLLY! 434 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,006 - DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FIRE A SHOTGUN, HANK? 435 00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:09,374 ANSWER ME! 436 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,778 - DADDY, THERE'S A LADY WITH A SUPER-DEEP VOICE 437 00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:14,112 HERE TO SEE YOU. 438 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,280 - [GASPING] 439 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,915 CHARLENE? NO! SHE CAN'T SEE ME THIS WAY. 440 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:20,185 TELL HER I--HI, SWEETIE. 441 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,387 SO NOW YOU KNOW WHY I HAVEN'T CALLED. 442 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,856 - THAT'S OUR CUE, WUSS. 443 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:28,694 - ARE YOU REALLY GONNA KILL DAD? 444 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,029 - YOU'RE A WORM, RUSTY. 445 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:33,899 - I WOULD HAVE CALLED, BUT-- OH, RIGHT. THIS. 446 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:36,768 I'M IN THE SUPER SCIENCE RACKET. THESE THINGS HAPPEN. 447 00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:39,771 SO, I GUESS THIS IS GOOD-BYE. 448 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:42,441 I WILL REMEMBER THESE LAST FEW DAYS WITH YOU 449 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,242 AS THE HAPPIEST OF MY LIFE-- 450 00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:46,311 WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE CATERPILLAR PART, I MEAN. 451 00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:50,682 - COULD I HAVE ONE LAST KISS BEFORE I LEAVE? 452 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,451 - WELL, ALL RIGHT, 453 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:53,919 BUT DON'T TOUCH THOSE THICK HAIRS ON MY BACK. 454 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,487 I THINK THEY'RE MY NEW EARS. 455 00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:57,255 OW! 456 00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:58,991 WOW, YOU'RE A DIRTY GIRL! 457 00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:01,593 THIS IS TURNING YOU ON, ISN'T IT, YOU LITTLE SLU-- 458 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,029 OOHHH... 459 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,298 [CLUB MUSIC PLAYING] 460 00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:09,468 - HEY, IF IT ISN'T FRANKEN-MULLET. 461 00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:11,870 WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR? 462 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,843 - [GROWLING] 463 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:23,749 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 464 00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:32,290 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 465 00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,577 [CLUNK] 466 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,279 - OH! 467 00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:56,081 WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? 468 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,883 - GO, TEAM VENTURE! 469 00:21:57,949 --> 00:22:00,052 - [SIGHS] 470 00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:02,821 - THAT'S GOOD SOUP!