1
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:08,108
PART ONE OF...
2
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:11,111
CREATED BY TIM
THE SELF-CREATED,
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:14,848
HATCHED BY THE SAME EGG
FROM WHICH EMERGED RA.
4
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:17,317
BEHOLD THE PERFECT MAN.
5
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:20,520
RAISE HE WHO WILL
REIGN OVER ALL.
6
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:24,157
THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE HATES
HIS FOOT.
7
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,993
OH, STILL?
HE'S BEEN DOING THAT ALL DAY.
8
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:30,230
YOU BOYS HAVE TO GET
CALIGULA AND DR. FREUD
BACK TO THE TIME MACHINE.
9
00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:32,866
DON'T LET HIM ASK ABOUT ME!
10
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:33,833
WILL DO.
11
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,535
WAIT, WHERE'S
THE HAND OF OSIRIS?
12
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,737
WE TOLD THE CALIGULA GUY
TO HIDE IT.
13
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,472
[CLEARS THROAT]
14
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,342
OH, DEAR LORD.
15
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,377
NO, NO,
JUST DROP IT THERE.
16
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,113
I'LL GET IT LATER.
17
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:50,550
I COMMAND YOU
TO RELEASE THEM.
18
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,820
DROP TO YOUR KNEES,
YOU IGNORANT SAVAGES.
19
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,623
I AM YOUR GIANT
FOUR-ARMED GOD,
20
00:00:56,689 --> 00:01:00,560
AND I MAKE LIGHT FROM ONE OF MY
TWO SLIGHTLY SMALLER HANDS.
21
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,362
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
22
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,999
IT'S JUST A FLASHLIGHT.
KILL THEM!
23
00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:11,805
DEAN, STOP RIDING
THE PERFECT MAN.
24
00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:13,873
BROCK HAS
TO KILL HIM NOW.
25
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:14,841
AW, CAN'T WE KEEP HIM?
26
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,477
YEAH, DAD, CAN'T WE?
WE'LL FEED HIM
27
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,579
AND CLEAN UP AFTER
HIM AND EVERYTHING.
28
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,381
SUPER SWEAR.
PLEASE?
29
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,516
NO, HE'S AN ABOMINATION.
30
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,252
GO AHEAD, BROCK.
31
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:36,129
I HAVE MORE BULLETS,
YOU KNOW?
32
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:37,697
YOU GOTTA STOP
DOING THAT.
33
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,033
I KNOW, IT JUST
LOOKED SO COOL.
34
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:42,202
WELL, GO GET IT.
35
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,237
FINE.
36
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,539
GIVE ME
THE HAND OF OSIRIS.
37
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,774
GIVE ME HEAD.
38
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,242
YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT.
39
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,110
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO ABOUT IT?
40
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,313
WELL, I'M ABOUT
TO KILL YOUR SONS.
41
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:54,280
JOIN THE CLUB.
42
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:57,083
BRING THEM
TO THE HALL OF SORROWS.
43
00:01:57,150 --> 00:02:00,487
AND NOW, TONIGHT'S
DRAMATIC PART TWO
44
00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:02,622
OF THE VENTURE BROTHERS IN
45
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:07,060
ESCAPE TO THE HOUSE OF MUMMIES.
46
00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:32,685
UM, IS ANYBODY ELSE
47
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,153
NOT IMPRESSED
BY THE HALL OF SORROWS?
48
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,589
YEAH, LOOKS MORE LIKE
A BASEMENT THAN A HALL.
49
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,991
WHAT -- CAN YOU FIT
THROUGH THERE?
50
00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:40,994
I CAN'T FIT MY SHOULDERS IN.
I BET YOU CAN FIT.
51
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,428
GREAT!
WAY TO BE USELESS, DEAN.
52
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,231
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
ALL I DID WAS CRAWL
THROUGH HOLES --
53
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,166
HOLES HALF THAT SIZE,
MIND YOU.
54
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:50,737
BUT IF YOU WANT
A JOB DONE RIGHT,
I HAVE TO DO IT.
55
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:52,672
BOY ADVENTURERS, WHAT DO
YOU NEED -- A ROADMAP?
56
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,041
IT'S SIMPLE, DON'T GET
SHOT BY THE YETI,
57
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,509
STUMBLE ON
THE ROBOT FACTORY,
58
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:59,646
PULL UP A COUPLE
OF RUBBER MASKS AND
CRAWL THROUGH HOME.
59
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:01,114
[METAL CLANGING]
60
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,582
IS THAT SOUND
WHAT I THINK IT IS?
61
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,818
OH, YEAH, THESE GUYS ARE
PLAYING IT BY THE BOOK.
62
00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,720
WE NEED TO COME UP
WITH A PLAN FAST.
63
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:10,290
YOU SHOULD CALL DR. O.
HE'S MAGIC!
64
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,960
THAT IS THE FIFTH TIME
YOU'VE SUGGESTED THAT
STUPID IDEA.
65
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,062
WE'RE NOT POSSESSED,
WE'RE TRAPPED.
66
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,665
I'M GONNA GO BACK IN THAT HOLE.
I THINK BETTER IN HOLES.
67
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,099
THAT'S ALL WE GOT, DOC.
68
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,968
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
TRY HANK'S IDEA.
69
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,170
WILL YOU LISTEN
TO WHAT YOU JUST SAID?
70
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,072
I KNOW IT SOUNDS INSANE,
71
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,574
BUT HANK HAS
THE ONLY IDEA.
72
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,476
I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN CALL
THAT SNAKE CHARMER FOR HELP.
73
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,011
HE'LL NEVER LET ME
HEAR THE END OF IT.
74
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,981
BOYS, YOU HEARD YOUR FATHER.
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.
75
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,183
SO YOU MIGHT WANNA
LINE YOURSELF UP SO THAT
76
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,618
THE SPIKES WILL PIERCE
YOUR BRAIN OR HEART.
77
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,621
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET STARTED
POSITIONING OURSELVES!
78
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:42,855
NO FUN BLEEDING TO DEATH.
79
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:46,259
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, FINE.
80
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,527
[BEEPING]
81
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,596
DR. ORPHEUS,
MASTER OF MYSTICISM.
82
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:51,598
ORPHEUS, IT'S YOUR LANDLORD.
83
00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:52,899
WE'RE TRAPPED IN A CLICHE.
84
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,335
USE YOUR FAKE IMPOSSIBLE MAGIC
TO GET US OUT OF HERE.
85
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,936
WHAT?
WELL, MR. VENTURE,
86
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,339
UH, I DON'T THINK
I CAN DO THAT.
87
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,174
WELL, WHAT CAN YOU DO?
88
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,476
WELL, LET'S SEE, I COULD
89
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:04,677
PROJECT MYSELF THERE.
90
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:08,181
THAT'S IT? SUPER!
COME ON OVER AND WATCH US DIE.
91
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:10,550
SPIKED WALLS ARE
CLOSING IN ON US,
92
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,285
AND YOU WANNA
PUT ON A PUPPET SHOW.
93
00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:15,888
HANK, GET OFF THOSE SPIKES!
IT'S NOT A RIDE.
94
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:16,689
AW!
95
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,591
SPIKED WALLS?
HOW FAST?
96
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,960
SLOWER THAN HAUNTED HOUSE
SPIKED WALLS,
97
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:24,230
BUT NOT AS SLOW AS
EVIL SCIENTIST SPIKED WALLS.
98
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,064
GOOD!
99
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:27,634
DEAN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
YES.
100
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,570
DEAN, PICTURE
MY DAUGHTER NAKED.
101
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,338
THINK OF HER AS YOURS.
102
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:35,608
LOOK, LUNATIC, STOP WORRYING
ABOUT INHERITING MY ESTATE
AND GET US OUT OF HERE.
103
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,877
VENTURE FAMILY,
YOU MUST TRUST ME!
104
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,913
DEAN, THINK ONLY
OF MY DAUGHTER KISSING YOU --
105
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,016
KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH.
106
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:44,283
THINK HARDER, BOY!
107
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:47,553
SHE'S USING HER TONGUE!
108
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,923
THERE!
I HAVE LOCATED YOU.
109
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:54,193
[GIBBERISH]
110
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,775
GEEZ. DIDN'T EXPECT THAT.
111
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:11,744
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE
BEFORE DEAN WAKES UP CRYING.
112
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,047
UH, I'LL BE BACK SOON
WITH EXPENSIVE CRAP
113
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:16,916
TO GET YOU ALL OUT OF HERE.
114
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,695
WAKE UP!
115
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:30,596
WHICH ONE OF YOU BROKE
THE HALL OF SORROWS?
116
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,566
I DON'T KNOW. WHY?
WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?
117
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,235
THOSE WALLS WERE
SUPPOSED TO CRUSH YOU
118
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:39,505
AND THEN
SCOLDING HOT OIL COMES
OUT OF THE JACKAL'S MOUTH.
119
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:40,940
SORRY, WE MISSED IT.
120
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,276
OH, YEAH, OF COURSE.
OIL.
121
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,677
YEAH,
MAKES SENSE NOW.
122
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:46,913
I THOUGHT YOU TOLD ME TO
FILL IT WITH HOT VOILE.
123
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:49,415
WHAT THE HELL IS VOILE?
124
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:51,417
IT'S A SOFT
SHEER FABRIC.
125
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,086
I WARMED SOME UP
IN THE DRYER.
126
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:55,588
ARE YOU INSANE?
WHAT KIND OF TORTURE IS THAT?
127
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,323
GET OUT OF HERE!
I'M SERIOUS!
128
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,859
I DON'T EVEN WANNA
LOOK AT YOU ANYMORE!
129
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,161
OOH.
BELIEVERS THESE DAYS.
130
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:05,098
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE ANNOYING ONE?
131
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:08,067
WE ATE HIM.
I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE!
132
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,304
HOLD ON, I GOTTA --
133
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,339
ACHOO!
134
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,373
BLESS YOU.
135
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,909
OH, GREAT, IT'S ALL
FULL OF SPIT NOW.
136
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,911
AND IT SMELLS
LIKE A WET CAT.
137
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:23,382
MR. VENTURE, ARE YOU
IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE?
138
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,585
IT IS I,
DR. ORPHEUS.
139
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:26,519
MR. VENTURE!
140
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:29,188
LAB, I'M IN THE LAB!
YOU WINDBAG.
141
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,524
I WAS QUITE CONCERNED
FOR YOUR WELLBEING.
142
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,860
I HAVE NOT SLEPT A WINK.
143
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:34,827
YOU'RE SAFE!
144
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,529
I AM PLEASED
THAT I COULD HELP.
145
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:40,399
HELP, SCHMELP, BROCK
AND THE BOYS ARE STILL TRAPPED,
PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW.
146
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,301
WE MUST HELP THEM!
NO DUH.
147
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:43,936
I HAVE A ZERO POINT MAGNET
SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE
148
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:47,273
THAT'LL TAKE THOSE
PYRAMID WALLS DOWN IN A JIFF,
SO THANKS FOR NOTHING.
149
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,274
PYRAMID?
150
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,876
YEAH, WE WERE
TRAPPED IN A PYRAMID.
151
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:52,245
SOME STUPID CULT
MADE A TIME MACHINE.
152
00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:53,513
WHAT PYRAMID CULT?
153
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,182
I DON'T KNOW -- PAPYRUS,
OSIRIS, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
154
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,850
EVER HEARD OF HIM?
155
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,286
OSIRIS CULT?
OSIRIS?
156
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:03,222
FIRST BORN SON
OF THE WOMB OF NUT,
157
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:05,057
BEGOTTEN OF GEB,
THE LORD OF ASET,
158
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,560
WHOSE EXISTENCE
IS FOREVER LASTING!
159
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,295
YES, I'VE HEARD OF HIM.
160
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,963
DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING?
161
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:14,567
I DON'T KNOW -- CARD TRICKS
AT CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAY PARTIES?
162
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:15,935
NO, SIR.
163
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,603
YOU STAND
NOT ON SOLID GROUND.
164
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,972
BELOW THIS EARTH
YOU TRUST TO BE SOLID
165
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,407
IS A NET.
166
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:25,244
THIS UNKNOWABLE SAFETY NET
KEEPS YOUR SOFT PINK
SIGNIFICANCE
167
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:28,681
FROM PLUNGING ETERNALLY
TOWARDS OBLIVION.
168
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,783
MY JOB, SIR,
169
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,352
IS TO REPAIR THAT NET.
170
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:34,620
NOW THANK ME!
171
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,789
THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME
FROM THE BOOGEYMAN.
172
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,891
I SAVED YOUR LIFE FROM
HALFWAY AROUND THE GLOBE.
173
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,962
LOOK, KRESKIN, I HAVE 20 DEVICES
IN THIS LAB THAT CAN DO THAT.
174
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,764
I'M A SUPER SCIENTIST.
175
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,699
MY FATHER WAS A SUPER SCIENTIST,
176
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,201
HIS FATHER WAS
A SUPER SCIENTIST,
177
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:50,970
AND HIS FATHER WAS -- NO, WAIT.
I THINK HE WAS A MILLINER.
178
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,606
EITHER WAY, I'M JUST NOT
IMPRESSED WITH YOUR TRICKS.
179
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:54,907
TRICKS?
HOW DARE YOU?
180
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,910
WITH JUST A THOUGHT
I COULD RISE INTO THE AIR.
181
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,479
OR YOU COULD
PUT ON THESE
ANTI-GRAVITY BOOTS.
182
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,915
I COULD INCINERATE
THIS ENTIRE LAB,
183
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,750
MAKE YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE
184
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,619
A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE
OF BLOSSOM,
185
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:10,389
AND SHOOT LIGHTNING
FROM MY HANDS.
186
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:12,124
OOH, LASER RAY,
187
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:14,460
MIND CONTROL HELMET,
TESTACOIL.
188
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,929
ANYTHING ELSE?
189
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,602
ANY TIME ANY PLACE --
190
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,903
YOU NAME THE CONTEST.
191
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:27,506
WE SHALL CELEBRATE
YOUR INFLATED SENSE OF SELF
192
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,042
WITH THE ULTIMATE CONTEST --
193
00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:31,744
SHRINKING!
194
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,846
AND I, LIKE THE PUSS IN BOOTS,
195
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,182
SHALL GOBBLE YOU UP,
196
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,917
BONES AND ALL.
197
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:40,119
FINE, 8:00 TOMORROW,
RIGHT HERE.
198
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,521
THE SMALLEST MAN
IS THE BIGGEST MAN.
199
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,524
FINE! GOOD DAY, SIR.
200
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,758
GOOD BLAH BLAH, SIR.
201
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,994
AND I WOULDN'T BOTHER LOOKING
FOR THAT SHRINK RAY
202
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,228
THAT YOUR FATHER BUILT.
203
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:52,465
YOU SOLD IT TO THE ALBINO
AND HIS TINY COMPANION.
204
00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:53,833
TA TA.
205
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,101
CRAP.
206
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:57,069
DEAN. DEAN?
207
00:08:57,136 --> 00:08:59,839
I'M OVER HERE.
208
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,540
WHAT HAPPENED?
209
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,042
YEAH, CLARISSA,
EXPLAIN IT ALL.
210
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,211
THAT GUY WITH THE BIRD HEAD,
HE HAS THIS MUMMY ARMY.
211
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,313
AND ONE OF THE MUMMIES
HAS A MAGIC SCEPTER.
212
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,850
DON'T MOVE, HANK.
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
213
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,285
WHAT?
214
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:14,887
HIM? OH, THAT'S JUST
MUMMY MUM MUGGY.
215
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,356
HE'S A GOOD MUMMY,
DEAN-O.
216
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,191
RIGHT? MUGGY FRIEND.
217
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:21,294
MUGGY LIKE
HIS CHIN RUBBED.
218
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,395
WHO'S A GOOD MUMMY?
219
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,563
HEY, GET YOUR BROTHER'S HEAD
AND FOLLOW ME.
220
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,565
THERE HAS TO BE
A WAY OUT OF HERE.
221
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,200
MUGGY MIGHT KNOW.
222
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,236
WHERE'S THE EXIT?
TELL US, BOY.
223
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:34,740
THIS IS GETTING STUPID.
WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?
224
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,742
YOU THAT IS TALL,
225
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,844
GO TO THE SMALL!
226
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,446
I COMMAND YOU
227
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,716
BY INTIMATE WHISPERS,
228
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,385
SHRINK!
229
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:49,155
OH, COME ON!
230
00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:52,959
NO USE CRYING
OVER SPILT MAGIC.
231
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:56,862
PUMPKIN, YOU STILL HAVE THAT
DOLLHOUSE MEE-MAW GAVE YOU?
232
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,065
NO, NO, YOU'RE THINKING
OF ROGER LAW.
233
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:02,168
JOE ROGAN IS THE HOST
OF FEAR FACTOR.
234
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,803
OH, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
235
00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:07,440
BAD NEWS, BILLY.
OUR PLACE HAS BEEN TRASHED.
236
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:09,308
WHAT?
HOLY COW, GREAT NEWS!
237
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,410
GETTING BURGLARIZED
IS GREAT NEWS?
238
00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:14,246
THIS IS CLEAR EVIDENCE
OF AN ARCHING.
239
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,849
AH, OUR OWN ARCH ENEMY.
240
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,751
WE HAVE ARRIVED.
241
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,853
I'M GONNA CHANGE INTO
MY QUIZ BOY COSTUME.
242
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,588
[CLANG]
HE'S STILL HERE, BILLY.
243
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,223
ALL RIGHT, NEMESIS,
SHOW YOURSELF
244
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:27,793
AND YOU WILL BE SPARED
A BLAST FROM MY LASER HAND.
245
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,563
DR. VENTURE?
246
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:31,564
YOU'RE OUR ARCH ENEMY?
247
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,836
YOU'VE COME TO STEAL
OUR GREAT IDEAS.
248
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:39,205
YOU'VE BEEN FOILED.
WE HAVE NONE.
249
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,373
WHAT THE HELL, RUST?
250
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:43,476
WHAT KINDA DICK BREAKS
INTO HIS FRIEND'S HOUSE?
251
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:45,611
I NEED THAT SHRINK RAY
I SOLD YOU.
252
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,413
YEAH, DON'T CALL US
AND ASK FOR IT,
253
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,281
JUST BREAK INTO OUR HOME
AND STEAL IT BACK.
254
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,950
I ALREADY APOLOGIZED
FOR THAT.
255
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,385
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
WHEN?
256
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:53,886
MAN, I ALMOST KILLED YOU
WITH MY HAND.
257
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:57,323
ENOUGH, BILLY.
EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR HAND
DOESN'T SHOOT LASERS.
258
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,058
WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, RUST?
259
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,360
I BET THAT POMPOUS
LOUDMOUTH ORPHEUS
260
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,763
THAT I COULD SHRINK
BETTER WITH SCIENCE
261
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,297
THAN HE COULD
WITH MAGIC.
262
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,133
ISN'T THAT YOUR FRIEND?
I MEAN, I'VE SEEN HIM
MOWING YOUR LAWN.
263
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:10,803
SO YOU BREAK INTO OUR TRAILER?
264
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:10,803
DO YOU HAVE IT OR NOT?
265
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:11,704
HERE IT IS.
266
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,072
WHAT'D YOU DO,
DRIVE OVER IT?
267
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,007
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
ASK CAPTAIN KID OVER THERE.
268
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,575
IT DIDN'T WORK,
SO I THOUGHT MAYBE
269
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:19,078
THERE WAS A TREASURE MAP
OR SOMETHING STUCK
IN IT.
270
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:20,346
WHAT THE --
DON'T BOTHER.
271
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,314
I'VE BEEN OVER THIS
WITH HIM, LIKE,
1,000 TIMES.
272
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:24,083
WELL, YOU TWO HAVE
TO HELP ME FIX IT.
273
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,419
RUSTY, YOU BROKE INTO OUR HOUSE
AND TRASHED IT.
274
00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,721
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I'LL PAY YOU.
275
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,757
THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.
276
00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:33,993
COME ON, MR. POE,
277
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,228
JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU
PUT THE HAND OF OSIRIS,
278
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:37,696
AND I'LL LET YOU GO.
279
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:39,732
BASEMENT.
UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS.
280
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,034
I GOTTA ADMIT,
I ALWAYS WANTED
281
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:44,637
TO GET EDGAR ALLAN POE
IN A HEAD LOCK.
282
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,305
THAT THING
IS LIKE A PUMPKIN.
283
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,541
WE JUST COMPLETELY
SCREWED UP THAT
GUY'S LIFE
284
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,409
WITH OUR TIME
MACHINE.
285
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,111
YOU THINK WE MESSED
UP THE PAST?
286
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,680
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
287
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,119
I KNEW IT!
288
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:03,389
PUMPKIN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN YOUR ROOM?
289
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,724
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
NOT IN YOUR ROOM?
290
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,993
MY WHOLE LIFE, I'VE BEEN
AFRAID OF THAT CLOSET.
291
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:09,695
THERE'S ALWAYS
THESE WEIRD LIGHTS
292
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:12,498
AND SOMETHING
THAT SMELLS LIKE
A BURNING BAND-AID.
293
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,632
BRIMSTONE.
294
00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:15,968
OKAY, FINE, PORTHOLE
TO THE BURNING NOWHERE.
295
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:16,902
YOU GOT ME.
296
00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:18,671
DAD, I THOUGHT
I WAS GOING CRAZY.
297
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,140
I MEAN, I'M STILL
AFRAID OF THE CLOSET.
298
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,508
STILL!
299
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,578
I WEAR THE SAME THING
EVERYDAY BECAUSE
OF THAT CLOSET.
300
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,046
HOW WAS I TO KNOW?
301
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,949
COME NOW, ARCHIE AND HIS
INDOLENT COMPANION JUGHEAD
302
00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:31,283
WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES EVERYDAY.
303
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,019
I THOUGHT IT WAS
AN ADOLESCENT PHASE OF YOURS.
304
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,254
GREAT, MY CLOSET IS
THE DOOR TO HELL.
305
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,257
THE NECROPOLIS --
A PORTHOLE TO THE NECROPOLIS.
306
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,759
IT HAD TO BE ON THE SOUTH SIDE
OF THE APARTMENT.
307
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,929
AND SINCE YOU HAD TO HAVE
A PRIVATE BATHROOM --
308
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:47,533
OH, THIS IS --
SLEEP!
309
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:52,071
IN YOUR SLEEP, ALL IS FORGOTTEN.
310
00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:04,083
AAH!
GOT IT!
311
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,851
WHY DIDN'T I THINK
OF THAT BEFORE?
312
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,187
I NEED MORE TIME.
THERE'S TOO MANY VARIABLES.
313
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,188
OKAY, I'M DONE HERE.
314
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:10,990
MUCH MORE DIFFICULT
THAN I EXPECTED.
315
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,892
WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS
COME UP WITH FOR,
316
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,160
LET'S SAY, NUMBER TWO?
317
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:17,496
NUMBER TWO? RHEA PERLMAN.
WHAT'D YOU PUT DOWN?
318
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,031
JOYCE DEWITT
WAS NUMBER TWO.
319
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:21,834
NUMBER ONE --
BONNIE BEDELIA, MEOW.
320
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:22,968
THE MOTHER FROM DIE HARD?
321
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,570
THE STONE FOX
FROM A MOTHER'S RIGHT --
322
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,107
THE ELIZABETH MORGAN
STORY, YES. WHY?
WHAT'D YOU PUT DOWN?
323
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,775
I MISUNDERSTOOD THE QUESTION.
324
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,343
NO, I WAS CONFUSED.
IT WAS THE WORDING.
325
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:35,014
I'M SERIOUS. I DIDN'T
REALIZE WHAT YOU MEANT
BY "GUILTY PLEASURE."
326
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,383
GEEZ, BILLY.
OILED GARBAGE BAG?
327
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:38,918
SWEAT SOCK?
328
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,719
OH, MY GOD,
NUMBER THREE --
329
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:42,521
"MELON HEATED
IN A MICROWAVE."
330
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,156
THAT'S VERY
CREATIVE, BILLY.
331
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,792
I'M SURE YOUR MOTHER
IS PROUD OF YOU.
332
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,228
HA HA HA, HILARIOUS.
OKAY, LET'S GET BACK TO WORK.
333
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,363
I THINK WE'VE HAD
ENOUGH FUN HERE.
334
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:53,832
OH, NO, FUN
IS NUMBER FIVE --
335
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:56,735
"DUST BUSTER WITH
CORNER ATTACHMENT."
336
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,437
THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.
337
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,839
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
THE QUESTION!
338
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:03,742
HELLO!
339
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:05,578
MASTER!
340
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,947
[ROARS]
341
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,083
OH, MAN,
RIGHT ON THE NOSE.
342
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,620
OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW MUCH THAT STINGS.
343
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,854
MASTER?
YES.
344
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:18,357
MAN! RIGHT ON THE [BLEEP]
TIP OF MY SNOUT.
345
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,492
GOD. MY EYES ARE WATERING.
346
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:23,195
I'M SO SORRY, MASTER.
347
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,364
I DID NOT RECOGNIZE YOU
IN YOUR ANIMAL FORM.
348
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,466
SO YOU SHOOT
LIGHTNING AT MY FACE?
349
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,435
WAY TO THINK IT OUT,
ORPHEUS.
350
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:30,869
NO WONDER
YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS.
351
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:33,405
THAT'S A BIT HARSH.
I HAVE MANY FRIENDS.
352
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:34,773
OH, NAME ONE,
353
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,308
AND DR. VENTURE
DOESN'T COUNT.
354
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,344
LOOK, ORPHEUS,
I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE
355
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,212
AND I CHOSE
THE FORM OF ARGOS
356
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:41,880
TO TEACH YOU
A LITTLE LESSON.
357
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,148
DON'T YOU MEAN CERBERUS?
358
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,818
CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,
BUT ARGOS WAS ULYSSES' DOG.
359
00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:47,186
HE HAD ONLY ONE HEAD.
360
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,054
SEE, SEE, THERE YOU GO.
RIGHT THERE.
361
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,656
THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
362
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,925
YOU'RE A KNOW-IT-ALL,
AND NO ONE LIKES A --
363
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,159
WAIT, HOLD ON A SEC.
364
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,961
I ONLY KNOW
THAT I KNOW NOTHING.
365
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,297
WAY TO QUOTE SOMETHING
I SAID LIKE A YEAR AGO.
366
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,732
BUT I'M SERIOUS,
HOLD ON.
367
00:14:59,798 --> 00:15:02,434
THIS OTHER HEAD LIKES
TO CLEAN MY GENITALS
WITH HIS MOUTH.
368
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,069
I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD.
369
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:06,672
BUT LET HIM DO IT
BECAUSE IT FEELS GREAT.
370
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,940
OH, YEAH.
371
00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,942
THE PROBLEM IS
I CAN TASTE IT.
372
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:13,112
SO I TASTE
MY OWN GENITALS
373
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,947
IN MY MOUTH.
374
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,182
IT'S A CONUNDRUM.
375
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,585
MASTER, WHAT BEARING
DOES THIS --
376
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,387
HEY, WILL YOU
LET ME ENJOY THIS?
377
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:23,122
DAMN, DON'T YOU KNOW
HOW GOOD THIS FEELS?
378
00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:25,124
OH, NO, WAIT, I'M SORRY,
YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU
379
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,259
BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW GOOD THIS FEELS.
380
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:28,594
MY WIFE LEFT ME
381
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,729
BECAUSE OF THE PERSISTENT
ADVANCES OF A YOUNGER MAN.
382
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:33,766
NO, SHE LEFT YOU
BECAUSE YOU SPENT
MOST OF YOUR TIME WORKING.
383
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:36,035
WELL, YES,
I WAS SAVING THE WORLD
384
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,670
FROM A SECRET PERIL!
385
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:40,005
AND YOUR PRECIOUS
FREE TIME WAS SPENT
386
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,007
LIKE MR. ROGERS
IN A CAPE.
387
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,643
SHE LEFT YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE A WUSSY.
388
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,512
Hank: THERE'S DAD!
389
00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,414
WELL,
IT'S ABOUT DAMNED TIME.
390
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,015
LOOKS LIKE HE'S BEEN
CAPTURED AGAIN.
391
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:53,986
AND THERE'S YOUR BODY, DEAN-O.
IT HAS AN EXTRA HEAD ON IT.
392
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,621
OH, NO, THEY CAPTURED ME, TOO!
393
00:15:55,688 --> 00:16:00,025
HANK, WHAT YEAR DID YOU SET
THE TIME MACHINE TO?
394
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:02,995
THE YEAR 1230 A.D.
395
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,730
YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE
396
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,634
THAT YOU SET IT
TO 12:30 A.M.
397
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,637
I'VE DONE IT AGAIN.
398
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,610
ALL RIGHT,
SHE'S READY TO TEST.
399
00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:20,079
WHO IS THE GUINEA PIG?
400
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:23,382
I'M AN ALBINO.
I CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE
BEACH WITHOUT EXPLODING.
401
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,618
THERE'S NO WAY I'M STANDING
IN FRONT OF AN ANYTHING RAY.
402
00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:29,121
SINGLE PARENT.
THOSE BOYS NEED ME.
403
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:30,956
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I HAVE NOT LIVED ENOUGH,
404
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:33,859
FOR I HAVE NEVER TASTED
THE FLOWER OF A WOMAN.
405
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,194
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
406
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,829
YEAH, TASTED A FLOWER?
IS THAT A DIRECT METAPHOR?
407
00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:39,898
'CAUSE I DON'T TAKE MANY
TRIPS DOWN SOUTH MYSELF.
408
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:41,266
YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING.
409
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,902
I MEAN, I HAVEN'T
SAMPLED THE FRUITS
OF THE FAIRER SEX.
410
00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:46,004
WHAT'S WITH THE POETRY,
WORDSWORTH?
411
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:48,240
JUST SAY IT.
SAY, "I AM A VIRGIN."
412
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:49,641
I KNOW IT.
413
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:51,009
BILLY, THAT MAKES YOU THE BEST
CANDIDATE TO TAKE A RAY BLAST.
414
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:54,346
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.
YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING.
415
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:56,582
THE WAY I LOOK AT IT,
IT'S NOT EVEN MURDER.
416
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:58,283
IT'S A VERY LATE ABORTION.
417
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,753
WAIT, GIVE ME 24 HOURS
TO EXPERIENCE LOVE.
418
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,688
LET ME KNOW THE GENTLE
CARESS OF A WOMAN.
419
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,923
LET ME SLEEP IN THE SHADE
OF LOVE'S BOUGH.
420
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:09,328
I WILL RETURN TO YOU,
I WILL RETURN KNOWING
THE SWEET TASTE --
421
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:10,329
I VOTE BILLY.
422
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,197
ALL RIGHT, VIRGIN,
GET ON THE TARGET.
423
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:14,500
GET BEHIND THE EAR.
OH, YEAH, THAT RULES.
424
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:16,468
YOU REALLY THINK
SHE DOESN'T RESPECT ME?
425
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,604
ORPHEUS, HOW CAN SHE
RESPECT YOU WHEN SHE SEES
426
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,472
YOU GET TREATED
LIKE DIRT BY DR. VENTURE?
427
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,775
THEN YOU LET HER STAY OUT
ALL NIGHT PARTYING.
428
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:24,743
PARTYING?
MY DAUGHTER DRINKS?
429
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,279
SHE TOLD ME HER FRIENDS DO,
BUT SHE --
430
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:28,981
MAN, YOU ARE SUCH A SUCKER.
431
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,717
OH, LOOK AT THE LEG.
LOOK AT THE BACK LEG.
432
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,519
THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
433
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,855
IT JUST KEEPS KICKING.
IS THAT AMAZING?
434
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,426
WELL, AT LEAST
YOU HIT HIM THIS TIME.
435
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,661
ANYTHING HAPPEN?
NOTHING.
436
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,863
I TOLD YOU THE
PHOSPHATES WERE TOO OLD.
437
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:46,665
NO, IT WORKED.
438
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,368
YOU SHRANK MY LUNGS.
439
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:53,439
WHOA, RUSTY!
MAN!
440
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:54,673
WHAT?
441
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,508
I CAN'T BREATHE
OVER HERE.
442
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:57,776
IT'S GONNA GET WORSE.
443
00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,245
YOU REMEMBER THAT SOUND
MY CHAIR MADE A SECOND AGO?
444
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:01,480
THAT WASN'T THE CHAIR.
445
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,816
IT'LL BE THERE
IN A MINUTE, BILLY.
446
00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:05,617
OH, THINK DEVILED EGGS.
447
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:09,087
I HATE YOU GUYS.
448
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,759
HANK, YOU AND CALIGULA
KEEP UP THE REAR.
449
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,594
NO, ON SECOND THOUGHT,
450
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,229
YOU AND FREUD
SHOULD DO IT.
451
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:20,766
CALIGULA, YOU TAKE
THE SECOND WAVE ALONE.
452
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,301
READY DEAN?
453
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:24,870
WHOA, STEADY PERFECT MAN.
454
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,138
READY, BROCK!
455
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:30,576
WHEN THE GATES OPEN, ME,
POE, AND ME RUSH IN.
456
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:31,844
YOU GOT THAT?
457
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:34,580
YOU'RE GONNA
KILL HIM WHEN HE
SHOWS UP, AREN'T YA?
458
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:36,348
OH, YOU KNOW IT.
459
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,050
CHARGE!
460
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,052
AAH!
MY EAR.
461
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:41,587
SORRY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
462
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,355
WE SHRANK YOUR HEAD ONLY.
463
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,390
I TOLD YOU
WE SHOULD HAVE MOUNTED IT.
464
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,125
NICE SHOT,
WILLIAM BURROUGHS.
465
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,027
YOU HOLD THE GUN LIKE
A GUY THAT PLAYS RIVEN.
466
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:50,796
NOW SWITCH TO REVERSE
AND FIX ME.
467
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,297
WHITE, ARE YOU EVEN AIMING?
468
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:55,267
YOU WANT ME
TO GO IN THE BACKYARD
AND SHRINK SOME CANS FIRST?
469
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,569
I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE,
YOU KNOW.
470
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,272
PUT IT IN REVERSE
AND FIX ME!
471
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:03,308
ALL RIGHT, BILLY,
YOU NEED TO RELAX.
472
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:05,177
NICE.
473
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,179
YOU SHRANK
THE WHOLE ROOM.
474
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,714
WOW.
I GOTTA GET A CAMERA.
475
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:12,818
YOU LOOK LIKE TOBY MAGUIRE
IN A BAD HULK COSTUME.
476
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,620
I NEED A MIRROR.
477
00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:17,489
I AM A RUBE.
478
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,691
I HAVE BEEN FOOLING MYSELF
479
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,093
MY WHOLE LIFE.
480
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,328
MAKES YOU FEEL
PRETTY SMALL, HUH?
481
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:24,763
I AM AN INSECT.
482
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,131
LOOK AT THAT.
483
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,834
WE ARE NOTHING
IN THE EYES OF THE COSMOS --
484
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:32,237
TINY MEN GOING ABOUT
OUR TINY DAYS,
485
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:35,440
BELIEVING WE MEAN SOMETHING.
486
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:36,775
WE ARE NOTHING.
487
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,078
ORPHEUS, YOU ARE MY BEST
AND BRIGHTEST PUPIL,
488
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,648
EVEN IF YOU DO TASTE
A LITTLE SALTY.
489
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:44,616
YOU'RE READY, ORPHEUS.
490
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,618
NOW GET THE HELL
OUT OF THIS CLOSET
491
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,688
AND GO WIN THAT
INCREDIBLY GAY CONTEST.
492
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:50,989
GO! GO!
493
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:54,293
ARE YOU SURE THAT THIS WAS
THE SIZE OF MY HEAD BEFORE?
494
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,360
POSITIVE.
495
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:56,962
WHAT IF WE CROSS-CIRCUIT
THE ACCELERATOR?
496
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:01,133
IT MIGHT GIVE US MORE
OHMS OR SOMETHING?
497
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,601
GIVE UP, WHITE.
498
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:03,869
I LOSE.
IT'S 8:00.
499
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,805
COME ON, YOU'RE RUSTY VENTURE.
NEVER SAY DIE.
500
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,407
DIE. I SAID IT.
501
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:09,708
FORGET IT,
I'M NOT MY DAD.
502
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,177
I CAN'T EVEN
FIX SOMETHING
THAT HE INVENTED.
503
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:14,813
I WAS A GOOD
BOY ADVENTURER,
BUT I SUCK AT THIS.
504
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,950
YOU WEREN'T
A GOOD BOY ADVENTURER,
YOU WERE THE BEST.
505
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:20,085
HOLD ON, LET ME
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
506
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,621
Orpheus: HELLO?
MR. VENTURE.
507
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:23,922
LAB!
508
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,123
YOU WIN.
WHAT?
509
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,759
I CANNOT MAKE MYSELF
ANY SMALLER THAN I AM NOW.
510
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:29,161
YOU WIN.
511
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,562
KNEW IT,
YOU CHARLATAN!
512
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,564
HOW MUCH WAS THE BET FOR?
IT WAS A MILLION DOLLARS, RIGHT?
513
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:35,667
NOTHING, A GENTLEMAN'S BET.
HOW SMALL DID YOU GET?
514
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,202
ME, YEAH, IT NEVER
WORKED RIGHT.
515
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,605
COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
IF YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT,
516
00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:41,540
YOU WOULD HAVE
WON THE GENTLEMAN.
517
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:44,276
SNACKS! GOOD CALL!
I'M STARVED OVER HERE.
518
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,345
DR. VENTURE, LOOK AT THE BOX.
519
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,547
I HAVEN'T SEEN
ONE OF THOSE IN YEARS.
520
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:49,881
YEP, A RUSTY VENTURE LUNCHBOX.
521
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:51,783
IT'S NOT THE ONE I HAD
WHEN I WAS A KID.
522
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,118
THIS ONE I GOT ON EBAY.
523
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:55,153
I CAN'T USE THE THERMOS BECAUSE
IT SMELLS LIKE OLD MILK.
524
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,823
PLUS SOME KID PUT THUNDERCAT
STICKERS ALL OVER IT.
525
00:20:57,889 --> 00:20:59,625
WHY DO YOU HAVE
ONE OF THESE?
526
00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:01,426
CAN'T YOU SEE,
MR. VENTURE?
527
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,695
YOU WERE THE LITTLE
BOY MAN'S HERO.
528
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,431
YOU WERE THE REASON
I BECAME A BOY GENIUS.
529
00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:09,267
YEAH, RUST,
EVERY KID WANTED TO BE YOU.
530
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,236
YEAH, I WAS
PRETTY COOL.
531
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:13,972
THAT'S ME
ON THE PTERODACTYL.
532
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,108
TOOK HIM DOWN
MYSELF.
533
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,410
YES, YOU WERE PRETTY COOL.
534
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,712
LET US RETIRE
TO MY SITTING ROOM.
535
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:24,783
I SHALL WHIP UP A BATCH
OF MY FAMOUS RICE PUDDING!
536
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:27,519
I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE
FORGOTTEN TO DO SOMETHING.
537
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:29,454
OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE RIGHT!
538
00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:32,991
I FORGOT TO TURN OFF
THE LIGHTS.
539
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:40,432
CAPTIONING PROVIDED
BY TURNER STUDIOS
540
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:05,924
NEXT WEEK,
ON THE VENTURE BROS...
541
00:22:07,459 --> 00:22:09,528
I-I CAN'T MAKE IT.
542
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:11,263
I WANNA DIE.
543
00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:13,165
I WANT THE CAVEMEN TO EAT ME.
544
00:22:13,231 --> 00:22:15,834
HANG ON, HANK!
CUT HIM OPEN!
545
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:19,438
WE'RE GONNA PUT
THE BOY IN THERE.
546
00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:22,774
[SHARP INHALE]
547
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:25,577
I THOUGHT HE SMELLED BAD
548
00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:27,512
ON THE OUTSIDE.
549
00:22:27,579 --> 00:22:29,715
AAAH!