1
00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:08,308
OOPS.
2
00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:19,285
AAAAH!
YOU'RE KIDDING ME!
3
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,488
[grunting]
TAKE THAT!
4
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:24,124
HANK, ARE YOU EVEN
CLOSE TO FINISHED --
5
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,392
DAD!
6
00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:26,893
DEAN, YOU SMELL
LIKE A WHORE.
7
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,195
WHAT'S THAT --
OH, NOT AGAIN. BROCK!
8
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,232
WHAT? YOU SAID
TO PUT ON YOUR
BEST OUTFIT.
9
00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:33,867
OUTFIT, HANK.
NOT COSTUME.
10
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,869
WHAT THE --
11
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,869
WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN'T COME.
12
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:37,537
RIGHT? HANK CAN'T COME?
NICE TRY, DEAN.
13
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,939
HANK, I'M GIVING YOU
THREE MINUTES TO GET CHANGED,
14
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:42,942
OR YOU WALK AND I LET DEAN
DRIVE THE CHARGER.
15
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:45,044
DEAN, WHAT'D YOU DO --
SHAVE WITH A HATCHET?
16
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:46,746
I USED THE RAZOR
WITH THE BIG PINK HANDLE.
17
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:50,083
THAT'S MY DAISY!
I USE THAT ONE
FOR MY HEAD.
18
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,351
I THOUGHT GOD
SHAVED YOUR HEAD.
19
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:55,054
HE DOES, BUT HE LEAVES
THE SIDES, MR. WISENHEIMER.
20
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:57,991
I HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTING
TO STAVE OFF THIS AWKWARD,
21
00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:00,193
YET NECESSARY CONVERSATION.
22
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,361
PLEASE, DAD --
23
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,797
THIS IS MY DUTY!
[GIGGLES]
24
00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:05,432
WHAT IS FUNNY
ABOUT MY DUTY?
25
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,333
YOU KNOW I TAKE
MY DUTY QUITE SERIOUSLY.
26
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,536
YOU SAID --
[laughs]
27
00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:10,470
NEVER MIND.
28
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,071
I SHARE YOUR NERVOUSNESS,
29
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,407
BUT THERE ARE CERTAIN FACTS
THAT A FATHER MUST IMPART
30
00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:17,277
TO HIS DAUGHTER
ON OCCASIONS SUCH AS THIS.
31
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,978
OH, YES, "DOOTY" CLEVER.
32
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:20,513
DAD --
HEAR ME OUT!
33
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,484
WHEN YOUNG WOMEN
REACH ESTRUS,
34
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,853
THE LINGAM, UM,
35
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,156
CRAVES THE STAMEN LIKE SKILLS
36
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:31,791
OF THE YONI.
37
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,426
THIS IS QUITE NATURAL.
38
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,395
DAD, COME ON.
I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR.
39
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,430
YES, YES, MR. VENTURE
HAS BEEN KIND ENOUGH
40
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,199
TO GIVE ME SOME LEEWAY
WITH THE RENT
41
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,800
IF I GET THE BOYS,
AS HE SAYS,
42
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,469
"OUT OF HIS HAIR"
FOR THE EVENING.
43
00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:45,338
BUT AS YOU KNOW,
TONIGHT I TEACH
CONJURING
44
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,773
AT THE NEW SCHOOL.
45
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,409
NOT A PROBLEM, KIM AND I COULD
USE A FREE DINNER.
46
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,277
IT'S JUST THAT BOYS
OF THEIR AGE HAVE
47
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,112
UNCHECKED DESIRES
COURSING --
48
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:55,114
NAY, RAGING
AS A TEMPEST WOULD
49
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:57,817
THROUGH THEIR
TINGLING NETHERS.
50
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,352
COME ON, DAD.
51
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:04,824
I'M GOING ON A DATE
WITH THE VENTURE BROTHERS.
52
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:31,684
REMBRANDT VAN RIJN.
53
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:34,354
150 YEARS AGO,
DELACROIX SAID OF REMBRANDT
54
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:37,824
THAT HIS WORKS WOULD BE HELD
HIGHER THAN THOSE OF RAPHAEL.
55
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:42,662
HIS BLASPHEMOUS PROPHECY
CAME TRUE WITHIN 50 YEARS.
56
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,130
AND THIS ONE COULD BE YOURS
57
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,432
FOR THE PITTANCE
OF 10 MILLION AMERICAN.
58
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,768
NO, I WANT
THE MONA LISA.
59
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,603
LOOK, THE MONA LISA
IS NOT A BETTER PAINTING.
60
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,171
IT'S MERELY
A MORE FAMOUS PAINTING.
61
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,541
AND IT WAS MADE MORE FAMOUS
BECAUSE IT WAS STOLEN.
62
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:56,743
AND THIS WAS STOLEN, SO --
63
00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:58,978
WHAT ABOUT
HER FAMOUS SMILE?
64
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,480
WHATEVER, SHE LOOKS
LIKE A HORSE.
65
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:04,017
IT'S TINY, YOU KNOW.
THE THING IS, LIKE, THIS BIG.
66
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:05,785
REALLY?
YES, REALLY.
67
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,388
SO THIS IS CHEAPER, BY THE FOOT.
68
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:12,358
AH, MY QUEEN
HAS ARRIVED,
69
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,794
AND BEARING WINE.
70
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,864
MY OWN VARIATION
ON TINTO DE VERANO.
71
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:21,067
JUST A LITTLE WHATNOT
I PICKED UP ON COSTA --
72
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,468
WHAT IS THIS CRAP?
73
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,003
IT'S A REMBRANDT.
HOW DARE YOU --
74
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,906
YEAH, I KNOW.
THIS IS ARCH
VILLAINY TO YOU?
75
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,508
IT'S A STOLEN REMBRANDT, HMM?
76
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:31,344
THAT'S NEFARIOUS.
THAT'S KIND OF EVIL, NO?
77
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,246
WHEN I MET YOU,
GUYS LIKE THAT,
78
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,315
YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE EVEN BOTHERED.
79
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,783
NOT EVERYBODY HAS A TRUST FUND
80
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,384
LIKE THAT INSECT
EX-BOYFRIEND OF YOURS.
81
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,453
IF YOU THINK I'M GOING
TO GO BACK TO A DIET
82
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,888
OF RAMEN NOODLES
AND SPAGHETTI-Os,
83
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,991
DRIVING AROUND IN A HONDA ACCORD
WITH A GHOST ON THE HOOD,
84
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,893
SORRY,
I HAVE PLANS.
85
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,429
WHAT ARE YOU GOING?
86
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,464
I'M WRINGING MY HANDS.
87
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,832
MENACINGLY.
88
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,500
WELL,
NOBODY CAN SEE THAT.
89
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,935
YOU'RE
A BOOKKEEPER --
90
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:58,204
NOTHING MORE THAN
AN ACCOUNTANT
IN SPANDEX
91
00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,472
AND YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW IT.
92
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:03,476
YOU WANT EVIL.
YOU WANT THE OLD STUFF?
93
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,545
FINE!
94
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:08,881
HAPPY?
95
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,184
OH, [BLEEP] GREAT.
I THINK I KILLED HIM.
96
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,653
NO, I'M NOT HAPPY.
ALL OF THIS IS
LUDICROUS.
97
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,622
OH, CHRIST,
NOW HE'S BLEEDING FROM THE EYES.
98
00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,557
SO YOU JUST MURDER HIM?
WAY TO OVERREACT.
99
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,125
I'M GONNA NEED
SOME SELTZER HERE.
100
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,661
THIS CARPET IS PERSIAN --
IRREPLACEABLE.
101
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,496
WHAT WITH THERE
NOT BEING A PERSIA ANYMORE.
102
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,932
OH, FORGET IT!
I'M GONNA GO CHANGE.
103
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,801
WE HAVE THOSE STUPID DINNER
PLANS WITH THE MONARCH AT 8:00.
104
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:32,772
THAT SELTZER ISN'T
GOING TO GET ITSELF.
105
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,141
[BEATBOXING]
106
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,578
[DOOR OPENS]
107
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,213
OH, MONARCH'S HERE!
108
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,548
24, READY
THE MONARCH MOBILE.
109
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,450
YOUR LEADER
HAS A DATE.
110
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:48,321
UH, WE KINDA DON'T HAVE
A MONARCH MOBILE
ANYMORE.
111
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,455
WHY THE HELL NOT?
112
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:51,090
WE DITCHED IT.
YEAH, THE HEAT WAS ON US.
113
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:52,759
AFTER THAT VENTURE
BROTHER THING, SO --
114
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,661
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
WHAT ARE OUR OPTIONS?
115
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:56,696
WE CAN TAKE
MY NISSAN STANZA.
116
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,564
SHOTGUN!
CALLED, TOTALLY.
117
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,033
WHAT COLOR IS IT?
118
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:02,669
IS IT DIABOLICAL
OR AT LEAST BUTTERFLY COLORED?
119
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,537
IT'S POWDER BLUE,
MOSTLY.
120
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,272
GREAT.
21, WHAT DO YOU DRIVE?
121
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:08,641
HIS POWDER BLUE
STANZA.
122
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,209
LAB, SCHMAB.
123
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:11,878
I'M FINISHED WITH
WORK FOR TODAY.
124
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,781
I WANTED THE BOYS
AWAY BECAUSE I MADE
A DISCOVERY
125
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:17,550
OF THE
NON-SCIENTIFIC KIND.
126
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,619
WHAT'D YOU FIND?
ARE YOU OKAY?
127
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,387
OOH, I'M MORE
THAN OKAY.
128
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,156
WHILE PERUSING
TV GUIDE,
129
00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:25,391
I FOUND A LITTLE,
SHALL I SAY, FLICK,
130
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:29,095
STARRING A ONE MISS
DOLLY PARTON, MEOW.
131
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,564
YEAH, IT SEEMS SHE MADE
A RACY FILM CALLED
132
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:34,200
THE BEST LITTLE
WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS.
133
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:37,236
YEAH, DOC, YOU'RE GONNA
BE DISAPPOINTED THERE.
134
00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:38,838
DON'T RUIN IT FOR ME.
135
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,407
I HAVE POPCORN POPPING
AND THE VCR SET FOR STUN.
136
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,443
YOU WANNA WATCH IT
WITH ME?
137
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,044
NAH, I'M COOL.
138
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:48,314
I, UH, I GOTTA DRIVE
THE BOYS TO DINNER.
139
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:49,515
OH, I GET IT!
140
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:53,019
YEAH, THOSE KINDA FILMS
ARE MEANT TO BE WATCHED
141
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,588
SOLO A MANO.
142
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:58,157
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
143
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,128
SO, ARE
THE VENTURE BROTHERS CUTE?
144
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,163
WELL, DEAN,
HE'S KINDA CUTE.
145
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,065
HE DRESSES
LIKE BUDDY HOLLY?
146
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,066
THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
147
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,601
BUT I THINK HE DOES
IT ACCIDENTALLY.
148
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,303
WHAT ABOUT MY DATE?
149
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,271
HANK, YEAH, WELL,
HE'S BLONDE,
150
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:15,041
AND MORE, LIKE,
ATHLETIC.
151
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,776
SOUNDS GOOD.
HOW DOES HE DRESS?
152
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,644
LIKE FRED
FROM SCOOBY-DOO.
153
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,247
PUT IN MY MIXTAPE.
IT'S RIGHT ON THE DASH.
154
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,850
IT'S THE ONE THAT SAYS,
"CHILLIN' WITH MY PEEPS
155
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,718
AND MY MAIN MAN
THE MONARCH."
156
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,854
WE HAVE TO STOP
AND PICK UP MY DATE.
157
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,056
I THOUGHT DR. GIRLFRIEND
WAS GONNA BE THERE.
158
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,491
YES, WITH THAT GEEK
PHANTOM LIMB.
159
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:35,027
I PLAN TO USE THE NEVER-FAIL
STRATEGY OF JEALOUSY.
160
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,329
WHO'S YOUR DATE?
161
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:39,232
I MET HER ON THE LIVE JOURNAL
WHICH I KEPT IN PRISON.
162
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:40,733
I HAVE BEEN BLOGGING.
163
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,136
AFTER POSTING AN ESPECIALLY
ATTRACTIVE PICTURE
164
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:45,505
OF MY PRISON-SCULPTED ABS,
165
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:49,609
SHE COMMENTED THAT I WAS
NOT ONLY "FOINE,"
166
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:52,478
I WAS "TA-SEX,"
167
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:55,014
WHATEVER THAT MEANS.
168
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:56,682
ANY ADVICE?
169
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,619
YOU KNOW, THIS BEING
OUR FIRST BIG DATE AND ALL?
170
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:00,920
YEAH.
171
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,021
NO?
NO.
172
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,056
DON'T PULL
OUT HER CHAIR,
KISS HER HAND,
173
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:05,491
OR ANYTHING
LIKE THAT.
174
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,894
IT'S KINDA DORKY.
JUST BE YOURSELF.
175
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,395
WAIT, HERE.
TAKE THIS.
176
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:10,963
IT'S GOT PLENTY
OF MONEY IN THERE,
177
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,932
AND IT DOESN'T HAVE
A CARTOON BEE ON IT.
178
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,333
DON'T LET THEM PAY
FOR ANYTHING.
179
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,003
AND IF YOU END UP
GOING TO A MOVIE
OR SOMETHING,
180
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:19,338
YOU CALL ME ON
THE TWO-WAY, OKAY?
181
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,607
WHAT ABOUT ME?
ANY ADVICE TO HELP ME
182
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:23,543
SCORE WITH MY MYSTERY DATE?
183
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,077
YEAH, DON'T
SAY "SCORE"
184
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:28,014
OR ANYTHING CLOSE
TO "MYSTERY DATE"
IN FRONT OF HER.
185
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,849
AND DON'T
DO THAT, UH,
186
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,418
"DO YOU
LIKE SEAFOOD"
JOKE EITHER.
187
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:33,719
CAN DO.
188
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,489
GOSH, SHE WOULD, LIKE,
TOTALLY KNOW THAT JOKE ALREADY.
189
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,928
YOU'RE AWFULLY QUIET.
190
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,798
WHAT?
191
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,801
STOP THAT!
192
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,538
AND THEN YOU GO, "WELL,
MY BROTHER CAN JUMP OVER,
193
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,106
LIKE, 10 GARBAGE CANS."
194
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,142
AND THEN I'LL SAY
SOMETHING COOL LIKE,
195
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,910
"IF I CAN KEEP
THE FRONT WHEEL
196
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,612
FROM BURSTING INTO FLAMES,"
OKAY?
197
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,215
AND DON'T FORGET TO CALL ME
"THE HANKINATOR."
198
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:04,083
I'LL DO NO SUCH --
THEY'RE HERE!
199
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,519
DUDE, SIT DOWN.
PLAY IT COOL.
200
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,288
OBSERVE HOW I SCOPE OUT
MY MYSTERY DATE
201
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:12,959
WHILST I PRETEND
TO LOOK AT MY WATCH.
202
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:14,493
HOLY MOLEY,
LOOK AT MY DATE!
203
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,530
SHE'S A SUPER VILLAIN,
POSSIBLY A MEDUSA.
204
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,198
DEAN, I AM NOT KIDDING.
205
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:21,500
SHE HAS ROPE FOR HAIR
AND A SHINY COSTUME.
206
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,970
OH, NOT FAIR,
SHE'S WEARING GOGGLES!
207
00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:28,107
TOLD YOU SHE WOULD
DIG MY BATMAN SUIT,
BUT NO!
208
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,308
GO SIT SOMEWHERE.
209
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:31,510
WATCH MY BACK
AND PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
210
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,312
WE'RE DRESSED
LIKE BUTTERFLIES.
211
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,147
IT'S GONNA BE
KINDA DIFFICULT.
212
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,850
JOLLY RANCHER 82,
NEVER GET HENCHMEN.
213
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,952
YOU KNOW,
THAT'S NOT MY REAL NAME.
214
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,054
WELL, HOW WAS I
SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
215
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:43,322
I USED MY REAL NAME.
216
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,057
I JUST THOUGHT,
YOU KNOW, "THE MONARCH,"
217
00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:47,226
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
INTO COSTUME PLAY.
218
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:50,096
REAL NAME,
AND I AM INTO
COSTUME BUSINESS,
219
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:51,898
NOT COSTUME PLAY.
220
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,399
[BLEEP]
THEY'RE HERE!
221
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,601
FAWN OVER ME!
TREAT ME AS IF
I AM CANDY!
222
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,004
Woman: WOW, SHE'S GORGEOUS.
223
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,305
SHE IS HEAT
INCARNATE.
224
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,074
WHEN I MET HER,
SHE LOOKED LIKE
THAT GIRL SAFFRON
225
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:03,409
FROM THE BAND
REPUBLICA.
226
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,578
SHE HAD THOSE RED
STREAKY THINGS
IN HER HAIR.
227
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,280
I HEARD THAT SHE WAS
KINDA MANLY.
228
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,682
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
WHO WOULD SAY
SUCH THINGS?
229
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,484
THE WOMAN IS
A DELICATE FLOWER.
230
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,252
THAT CHOAD
SHE'S WITH --
231
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,620
THAT'S PHANTOM LIMB.
232
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,355
IN COLLEGE, HE WAS
A SCRAWNY LITTLE WUSS.
233
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:19,258
IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT
TO BE COOLER THAN GUYS
LIKE ME,
234
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,694
HE HAD HIS 12-YEAR-OLD
ROOMMATE CREATE
A MACHINE
235
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,363
THAT SPEEDS UP THE
MUSCLE-BUILDING PROCESS.
236
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,132
THE MACHINE
WORKED SO WELL
237
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:27,934
THAT EVERY MOLECULE
IN HIS EXTREMITIES
238
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,369
WAS ACCELERATED BEYOND
THE SPEED OF LIGHT.
239
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:31,904
THERE WERE
TWO SIDE EFFECTS.
240
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:35,541
ONE, HE CAN MESS UP
A GUY JUST BY
TOUCHING HIM.
241
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:39,278
AND TWO, HE BECAME
A HUMORLESS DICK.
242
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,380
HOW DO YOU THINK
HE FLOATS LIKE THAT?
243
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,783
HE'S NOT FLOATING.
HIS LEGS ARE INVISIBLE.
244
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:44,784
WHAT?
245
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,252
HE USED TO BE A GOOD GUY,
ACTUALLY.
246
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,587
WHEN HE AND BILLY --
YOU KNOW, THAT WEIRD MIDGET
247
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,856
WHO WON A BUNCH OF MONEY
ON CARD SHARKS
248
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,558
INVENTED A TIME MACHINE --
249
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:53,960
HE BECAME A VILLAIN.
250
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,928
AND THE WAY I HEARD THE STORY
IS THAT THE TIME MACHINE WAS,
251
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,296
LIKE, BROKEN OR SOMETHING.
252
00:09:57,363 --> 00:10:00,299
SO PHANTOM LIMB'S ARMS AND LEGS
AND BILLY'S HAND WERE SENT
253
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,301
40 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE.
254
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:05,037
I LOVED CARD SHARKS.
255
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:05,037
IT'S A GREAT SHOW.
256
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:08,975
WOW, THAT GUY'S,
LIKE, JUST A TORSO.
257
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,343
YEAH,
THAT'S PHANTOM LIMB.
258
00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:12,611
I DON'T THINK HE
PROFESSIONALLY
HATES MY DAD,
259
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,380
BUT HE TOTALLY
HATES MY DAD.
260
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,449
I THINK HE USED TO BE
A FAMOUS MAGICIAN.
261
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:17,817
AND ONE TIME,
262
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:19,652
WHILE PERFORMING FOR
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND,
263
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,388
HE ACCIDENTALLY MADE HIS
ARMS AND LEGS DISAPPEAR.
264
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,523
THEY ARE NOW ON THE MOON
WITH A WHOLE BUNCH
265
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,926
OF RABBITS, AND DOVES,
AND PLAYING CARDS,
266
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:29,195
AND PRETTY ASSISTANTS,
AND SOME MILK.
267
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,396
NEVER HAPPENED.
DID.
268
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,765
I ALSO HEARD THAT HE
SLICED OFF A KID'S HAND.
269
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:33,899
AND ATE IT.
270
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,534
YEAH, IT WAS THAT
BIG-HEADED GUY
271
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,003
THAT OPERATED ON YOUR
BALLS, DEAN.
272
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,338
HANK, DON'T YOU HAVE
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?
273
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,374
WHOA, WHAT ARE
YOU -- PSYCHIC?
274
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,875
I TOTALLY DO!
WEIRD!
275
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:45,978
WELL, LADIES,
IT SEEMS THAT
YOUNG DEAN HERE
276
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,747
NEEDS AN ESCORT
TO THE BATHROOM.
277
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,548
IF THERE'S
ANY TROUBLE,
278
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:51,217
YOU JUST GIVE THE
HANKINATOR A HOLLER.
279
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:53,486
NOW THIS ONE ALLOWS
THE HOLDER TO ARCH
280
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,421
THREE SEPARATE SCIENTISTS.
281
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,989
HEADQUARTERS INSURANCE,
282
00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,058
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF BOG
OR VOLCANO HIDEOUTS,
283
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:02,828
FULL HENCHMEN COVERAGE, AND
A NICE LITTLE MUTINY CLAUSE.
284
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,463
WHATEVER!
JUST GIVE ME THE ONE
285
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,232
THAT LETS ME TAKE
DOWN VENTURE!
286
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:08,601
WE LIKE TO KEEP OUR DREAMS
SMALL, DON'T WE?
287
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,803
FINE.
ANOTHER 38 WITH HENCHMEN.
288
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,339
OH, LOOKS WHO'S TALKING.
THE GREAT PHANTOM LIMB,
289
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,674
THE MOST DEADLY VILLAIN
OF ALL TIME, MY ASS.
290
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:18,344
YOU'RE IN GRANNY GLASSES
SELLING ME INSURANCE.
291
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,179
KEEP IT DOWN, PLEASE.
292
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:23,015
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW
I COULD TAKE THE ENTIRE VENTURE
FAMILY OUT WITH ONE PHONE CALL.
293
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,483
YEAH,
SURE YOU COULD.
294
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,552
THAT FAMILY'S
INDESTRUCTIBLE.
295
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,387
I DARE YOU!
FINE.
296
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,990
I NEED AN IMMEDIATE BLACKOUT --
297
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,658
FOUR AND A ROBOT.
298
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:37,129
SYNDICATE NUMBER --
VICTOR ECHO NOVEMBER, 7-9er.
299
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,899
ROGER, DISPATCHING
BLACKOUT TEAM NOW.
300
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,567
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
301
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,135
I HATE
THAT SONG.
302
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,604
HMM, 9er.
NICE TOUCH.
303
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,239
WITHIN THE HOUR,
304
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:49,575
THE ENTIRE VENTURE FAMILY
305
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,278
WILL BE DEAD.
306
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:59,885
[ALARM BEEPS]
307
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,754
OH, COME ON!
NOT AGAIN.
308
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,756
I NEED YOU IN
THE PANIC ROOM!
309
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,224
THE COMPOUND IS
FULL LOCKDOWN!
310
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:08,027
BROCK, I AM THIS CLOSE
TO SEEING DOLLY'S GOODS.
311
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,062
I MEAN, THEY CAN'T
SING FOREVER.
312
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,730
HONESTLY, THIS NONSENSE
HAPPENS ONCE A WEEK.
313
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:14,133
I'M NOT GONNA --
WHY ARE YOU NAKED?
314
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,868
TO PREY ON THEIR FEAR.
315
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:18,404
MOVE LIKE AN ANIMAL
TO FEEL THE KILL.
316
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,172
ALL RIGHT, NOW
YOU'RE SCARING ME.
317
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,340
WHAT'S GOING ON?
318
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,576
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT JUDGING FROM THESE GOGGLES,
319
00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:24,944
IT'S THE GUILD.
320
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:27,346
SEEMS LIKE YOU MADE IT
TO THE BIG LEAGUE.
WHAT'D YOU DO?
321
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,582
NOTHING, I WAS JUST
SITTING HERE WATCHING
322
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,350
THE WORST PORNO EVER.
323
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,751
IS THAT A HEAD?
324
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,653
DON'T BE
A NERVOUS NELLY.
325
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,356
THE GENERATORS WILL
KICK IN IN --
326
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,757
THERE YOU GO.
327
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:42,194
UM, THIS IS DIFFERENT,
BROCK, ISN'T IT?
328
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:45,064
WE MIGHT NOT
WIN THIS ONE.
GET TO THE PANIC ROOM.
329
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,266
OKAY, JUST LET ME FINISH
PEEING ON MYSELF.
330
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,369
H.E.L.P.e.R., INSTITUTE
TACTICAL AND DEFENSIVE
WEAPONRY.
331
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:54,106
ESCORT THE DOCTOR
TO THE PANIC ROOM.
332
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,144
WELL, ISN'T
THIS WONDERFUL?
333
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,279
MY FAVORITE PART
IS WHEN YOU DECIDED
334
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,814
TO KILL
THE VENTURE FAMILY.
335
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:05,851
NOW, WAIT, IT WAS WHEN
YOUR FAKE DATE RAN OFF
CRYING.
336
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,187
COME ON, MONARCH,
HOW OLD WAS SHE?
337
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,388
WILL YOU LOOK AT ME?
338
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,789
I'M IN A [BLEEP]
EVIL BUTTERFLY COSTUME.
339
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,526
WHAT AGE GROUP DO YOU
THINK IS GONNA BE
ATTRACTED TO ME?
340
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,794
SUPER. WELL, IF YOU
GENTLEMEN WILL EXCUSE ME,
341
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,197
I'M GOING TO POWDER MY NOSE,
342
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:20,166
OR WHATEVER THE CLICHE IS.
343
00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,868
HOO, NICE ONE.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
344
00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:25,304
YEAH, I DID THAT.
345
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:35,047
STRANGE.
YOU ALMOST CAN'T FEEL IT.
346
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:36,916
NO, DON'T MOVE.
347
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,384
THE KNIFE IS STILL IN YOU --
348
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:41,287
THE BLADE RIGHT BETWEEN
THE KIDNEY AND THE SPLEEN.
349
00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:42,821
JUST A TWITCH.
350
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:44,190
IT FEELS ALMOST COLD.
351
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,825
YOU TELL ME YOUR TARGET
AND I SLIDE THE KNIFE OUT,
352
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,060
YOU MIGHT LIVE.
353
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,429
OR...
354
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,429
BLACKOUT,
FOUR AND A ROBOT.
355
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,664
GOOD BOY.
356
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,499
I THINK YOU MAY HAVE
GOT THE KIDNEY.
357
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,901
I DON'T WANNA
DIE ALONE.
358
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:57,336
DON'T-DON'T GO.
359
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,138
I DON'T THINK
I HIT YOUR KIDNEY.
360
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,340
NO, YOU TOTALLY
DIDN'T.
361
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,509
PLEASE, PLEASE...
362
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,610
HOLD ME.
363
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,111
LOOK, I'M PRETTY SURE
I MISSED THE KIDNEY.
364
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:09,515
I MEAN, YOU COULD BLEED TO DEATH
IN LIKE FOUR HOURS, BUT...
365
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:12,084
I-I SEE A TUNNEL.
I'M SCARED.
366
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,453
COULD YOU STROKE
MY HAIR?
367
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,388
LOOK, YOU ARE NOT GONNA --
368
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,090
THEN CAN YOU SING TO ME?
369
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:20,226
COULD YOU SING
A TECHNOTRONIC SONG?
370
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:23,128
MAYBE "PUMP UP THE JAM"?
I DON'T KNOW.
371
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:26,165
WHAT ABOUT "MOVE THIS"?
YOU KNOW THAT ONE?
372
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,601
[sighs]
♪ BABY LET ME...
373
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:31,036
ALL SIGNED.
GUESS I'M BACK
IN THE GUILD.
374
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:33,138
NOT LIKE IT MATTERS --
WITH YOU BELIEVING
375
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,040
YOU DESTROYED
THE VENTURE FAMILY.
376
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:38,143
DO YOU LOVE HER?
DON'T DO THIS CRAP.
377
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,979
THIS IS WAY
TOO HIGH SCHOOL FOR ME.
378
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,881
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
I'M NOT LETTING HER GO.
379
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:46,018
SO, FOR YOUR SAKE,
I HOPE YOU DO.
380
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,253
I HOPE YOU DON'T.
381
00:14:47,319 --> 00:14:49,688
Brock: H.E.L.P.e.R.,
I NEED YOU TO GET THE BOYS!
382
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:53,125
H.E.L.P.e.R.,
THE BOYS ARE IN DANGER!
383
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:54,560
OH, WHAT THE --
384
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,030
H.E.L.P.e.R.?
DAMN IT!
385
00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,798
DOC, DOC!
386
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,767
STAY IN THE PANIC ROOM.
387
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,335
I HAVE TO PROTECT THE BOYS.
388
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:07,206
DOC, DON'T MOVE!
I'LL BE BACK.
389
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,741
TOTALLY RUINED.
390
00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:11,310
SPECIAL THANKS
TO YOU, HANKINATOR,
391
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:13,145
SHE'S NEVER GONNA
TALK TO ME AGAIN.
392
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,647
WELL, YOU CAN'T HIDE
IN HERE ALL NIGHT.
393
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:17,483
YOU HAVE TO GET
BACK ON THAT HORSE.
YOU GOTTA GRAB HER AND GO,
394
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,019
"TRIANA, I AM
GONNA KISS YOU.
395
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,019
HANK --
396
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,920
I'M GONNA KISS YOU
ON THE MOUTH, PROBABLY.
397
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:24,123
AND -- AND YOU'RE
GONNA LOVE IT!"
398
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:25,891
HANK!
WHAT?
399
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,093
YOU HAVE A STAIN.
AW, COME ON!
400
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,361
WHY DOES THAT HAPPEN?
401
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,730
I SHOOK IT SO HARD
I ALMOST HIT THAT PINK PUCK.
402
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:33,299
WELL, DID YOU DAB?
WHAT?
403
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,434
DAB, DID YOU DAB?
NO.
404
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:36,869
I DAB.
WELL, I DON'T.
405
00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:38,704
YOU SHOULD DAB.
STOP SAYING "DAB."
406
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,240
Rusty: BROCK. BROCK. BROCK.
407
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,408
PLEASE, BROCK.
408
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,643
DOC, I'M GOING FOR THE BOYS.
THEY'RE A TARGET.
409
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,112
BROCK.
DOC, YOU OKAY?
410
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:48,681
EMPHATICALLY, NO, BROCK.
411
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,683
CAN'T SEE YOU,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
412
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,184
I'M ON THE V-COM.
413
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,320
I MADE IT
TO THE PANIC ROOM.
414
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:56,055
H.E.L.P.e.R.
KEPT THEM OFF AT FIRST,
415
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,090
BUT MAN, THOSE GUYS
ARE PERSISTENT.
416
00:15:58,157 --> 00:15:59,591
MOST OF MY BLOOD
IS ON THE FLOOR.
417
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:02,928
AND THE ONLY THING
KEEPING ME ALIVE IS
OUR LACK OF STORAGE.
418
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,130
IF YOU DON'T COME SAVE ME,
419
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,732
I'M GOING TO FIRE YOU,
BROCK.
420
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,934
YOU GOTTA TRY
TO HOLD ON, DOC!
421
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,636
I'LL BE BACK SOON.
422
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:13,238
BROCK, YOU'RE FIRED.
423
00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:16,542
AH, STEAK FRIES.
424
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:19,445
ALWAYS SOGGY.
425
00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:21,547
[BLEEP] THIS.
426
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:23,782
WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD PUT
MORE WATER ON IT.
427
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:26,352
THEN IT WILL LOOK LIKE
YOU ACCIDENTALLY SPLASHED IT
428
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:27,586
WASHING YOUR HANDS.
429
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,955
OR IT COULD LOOK LIKE
I COMPLETELY HAULED OFF
430
00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:31,857
AND WHIZZED
ALL OVER MYSELF.
431
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,392
I'LL GET IT.
HI, BROCK.
432
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,960
DEAN, ARE YOU SAFE?
WHERE ARE YOU?
433
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,162
YEAH, WE'RE FINE.
WE'RE IN THE BATHROOM.
434
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,131
DATE'S OVER.
I'M COMING TO GET YOU.
435
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,265
YOU HEARD, HUH?
436
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,101
I SWEAR, I DIDN'T KISS
HER HAND OR ANYTHING.
437
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,903
BUT HANK -!
VENTURE INGENUITY, DEAN-O.
438
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,439
YOU GOTTA TRY THIS.
IT FEELS TOO GOOD.
439
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:51,677
IT FEELS LIKE SOMEBODY WITH
A FEVER IS YELLING AT MY PANTS.
440
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,045
THIS RULES!
441
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:55,514
OKAY, BROCK, THIS PLACE IS
CRAWLING WITH GUYS WHO HATE DAD.
442
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,782
I FIGURED AS MUCH.
443
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,551
STAY IN THE BATHROOM.
DON'T MOVE.
444
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,954
WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
445
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,455
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
446
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:04,656
BEATS ME.
447
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,258
OH, THE MONARCH IS PROBABLY
WAITING IN THE CAR.
448
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,293
HE'S GONNA KILL US
FOR DAWDLING.
449
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,962
PAY THE BILL.
I GOTTA USE THE CAN.
450
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:11,497
I'M NOT GONNA
SIT HERE ALONE.
451
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:12,931
I'LL LOOK LIKE
AN IDIOT.
452
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:16,402
DUDE, YOU JUST ATE DINNER WITH
A GUY DRESSED EXACTLY LIKE YOU.
453
00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:18,203
AT LEAST I LOOKED
LIKE A POPULAR IDIOT.
454
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,705
OH, WE NEED
ONE OF THESE AT HOME.
455
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,775
IT'S BETTER THAN SITTING
SIDEWAYS ON A SWING.
456
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:24,676
YOU HAVE GOT
TO TRY THIS.
457
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,011
OKAY, YOU KNOW,
IN THE POOL...
458
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,447
WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?
HOW WOULD I KNOW?
459
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,082
WE GOTTA
TELL THE BOSS.
460
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,517
I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE.
461
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,186
DUDE, GET OUTTA HERE.
I GOTTA TAKE A COUNT DOOKU.
462
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,988
OH, I SWEAR --
463
00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:37,689
OH, MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!
464
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,558
DEAN, MY PANTS
ARE ON FIRE!
465
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,795
OW! DUDE, STOP WHALING
ON MY JUNK!
466
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,229
THROW WATER ON IT.
467
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:45,998
NO WAY! THAT'S WHAT
STARTED THIS!
468
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:48,467
WELL, THEN, TAKE IT EASY!
JUST DAB. DAB IT.
469
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:51,770
CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HARD
TO KILL THESE TWO.
470
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,238
DON'T TALK TO ME.
471
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:55,607
IF I PUSH ANY HARDER
I'M GONNA POP A GASKET.
472
00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:57,476
PRETEND YOU'RE ALONE.
473
00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:59,411
SHH, WAIT.
YOU HEAR PHANTOM LIMB?
474
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,814
BLACKOUT TARGET
VICTOR ECHO NOVEMBER 7-9er
475
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,615
IS IN DADDY'S LAP.
476
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,517
REPEAT, IN DADDY'S LAP.
477
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:06,952
CALL OFF BLACKOUT TEAM.
478
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:10,589
DADDY IS GOING TO PUT
THE BOYS TO BED HIMSELF.
479
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,157
[INDISTINCT]
480
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,193
YES, I'M GOING
TO KILL THEM.
481
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,161
IT'S A VERY SIMPLE METAPHOR.
482
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,729
COPY, BIG DADDY.
483
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:19,331
JUST PLAY SOMETHING!
484
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,134
HOW MANY YAZ ALBUMS
DO YOU HAVE ON HERE?
485
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:25,103
CONTROL TO BLACKOUT TEAM.
STAND DOWN.
486
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:29,174
DADDY'S GOING TO PUT
THE BOYS TO BED HIMSELF.
487
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:34,780
CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
488
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,783
YES, I BELONG IN HERE.
I JUST HAVE A DEEP VOICE.
489
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,585
OKAY, CAN I ASK
YOU ANOTHER ONE?
490
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:41,186
WHAT COLOR LIPSTICK
IS THAT?
491
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:42,654
PINK POODLE.
IT'S A MATTE COLOR.
492
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:46,058
THEY GIVE A GUILD DISCOUNT.
YOU'RE IN THE GUILD, AREN'T YOU?
493
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,426
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE GUILD MEANS.
494
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,828
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE MYSELF.
495
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:53,432
SO, DO YOU WORK, UH,
SINGLE, NUMBER TO A MAN?
496
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,000
I DON'T REALLY
HAVE A GUY.
497
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,369
WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU MY CARD.
I LIKE YOUR LOOK.
498
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:59,271
I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH MEN,
499
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:01,840
AND I THINK
WE MIGHT MAKE A NICE TEAM.
500
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,009
CALL ME.
501
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:05,777
DID YOU SEE THAT?
502
00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:07,813
THAT WOMAN JUST
TOTALLY HIT ON ME.
503
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,648
SHE WASN'T
HITTING ON YOU.
504
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:10,782
READ THE CARD.
505
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:14,119
OH, MY GOD, I KNEW IT.
SHE'S A SUPER VILLAIN.
506
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:15,888
THAT IS SO COOL.
507
00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:18,891
SHE THOUGHT I WAS A BAD GUY.
I AM SO GONNA DO THIS.
508
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:22,461
[CAR ENGINE APPROACHING,
TIRES SQUEALING]
509
00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:25,731
NAKED.
510
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,935
HOLY CRAP!
511
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,904
WHATEVER IT IS,
WE DIDN'T DO IT.
512
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,372
I BELIEVE YOU.
STAY HERE.
513
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:35,340
DON'T DO ANYTHING.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
514
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:37,109
YES, SIR.
I UNDERSTAND, SIR.
515
00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:39,645
WELL, ON THE UP SIDE,
FINALLY DROPPED ONE.
516
00:19:39,711 --> 00:19:41,346
YEAH, ME, TOO.
517
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,549
HELLO, BROCK.
518
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,751
WAS WONDERING WHEN
YOU'D SHOW UP.
519
00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,085
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
520
00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:50,155
PHANTOM NIMROD WAS SHOWING OFF
IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND.
521
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,423
I TOLD HIM.
522
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,025
ALL RIGHT, STAY OUT
OF THIS ONE.
523
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:54,660
NO DUH.
HE'S IN THE NEXT STALL.
524
00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:56,862
HEY, HOW'S THAT DICKWEED
BOSS OF YOURS?
525
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,530
DON'T PUSH IT.
526
00:19:58,597 --> 00:20:00,632
NICE ASS, SAMSON.
527
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,601
BROCK SAMSON --
528
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:03,902
THE VENTURE MULE.
529
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,572
DO YOU ALWAYS HANG OUT
NAKED IN THE MEN'S BATHROOM?
530
00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:08,140
WHY'D YOU DO IT?
531
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:09,808
WHY DO MEN LIKE US
DO ANYTHING?
532
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,144
BECAUSE WE CAN.
WRONG ANSWER!
533
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,613
HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR NECK
TO MATCH YOUR ARMS?
534
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,915
YOU TAKE ME OUT AND THE GUILD
OF CALAMITOUS INTENT
535
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,850
WILL REIGN DOWN ON YOU EN MASSE.
536
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,520
EVERY WOMAN YOU'VE LOVED,
EVERY MOUTH YOU'VE KISSED,
537
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:23,388
EVERY HAND YOU'VE SHAKEN
538
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:25,357
WILL FALL DEAD
TO THE GROUND.
539
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,526
I'M AWARE OF THAT.
540
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:28,894
SO LET ME GIVE YOU A WARNING.
541
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,897
IF YOU EVER STICK YOUR GOONS
ON THE VENTURE FAMILY --
542
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,533
MY FAMILY -- I WILL --
543
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,602
YES, OF COURSE,
SCARY SCARY.
544
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:39,304
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
545
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:41,773
FUNNY, WHAT WE MEN
ARE CAPABLE OF
546
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,209
WHEN WE FEAR
OUR WOMEN LEAVING US.
547
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,310
BEING A MAN,
548
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:48,880
IT'S SO MUCH EASIER
TO KILL THAN TO LOVE.
549
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,983
I'M SORRY.
550
00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:52,284
THANK YOU.
551
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,752
WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT,
YOU AND I.
552
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,955
YEAH, I DON'T NEED ANOTHER
"WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT" SPEECH.
553
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:58,657
I GET THOSE A LOT.
554
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,525
YES, I'M SURE YOU DO.
555
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:04,696
THEN, SHALL WE JUST SHAKE
HANDS AND LEAVE AS ENEMIES?
556
00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,011
HA HA HA.
557
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:21,313
FOR A MINUTE THERE,
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DO
558
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,849
YOUR KILLER HAND THING.
559
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,417
SO DID I.
560
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:27,886
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE?
561
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,788
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME
IF I TOLD YOU.
562
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,391
YOU WANNA GET DESSERT?
563
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,725
I DO.
564
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:37,462
I'M GONNA BE A SUPER VILLAIN.
AND I'M GONNA BE BATMAN.
565
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:40,232
GO, TEAM VENTURE!
566
00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:41,867
DUDE, I WARNED YOU.
567
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:45,037
I THINK I JUST FOUND
MY FIRST ARCH ENEMIES.
568
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:50,709
CAPTIONING PROVIDED
BY TURNER STUDIOS
569
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,532
Billy: OH, YEAH,
IT'S A MUSICAL.
570
00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:15,400
YOU NEVER GET
TO SEE ANYTHING.
571
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:17,035
WELL, YOU'RE GOOD
AS NEW, DR. VENTURE.
572
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,771
DON'T LIFT ANYTHING FOR A WHILE,
OR YOUR ARM MIGHT FALL OFF.
573
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,073
REALLY?
NO, I'M JOKING.
574
00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:22,674
BUT SERIOUSLY, DON'T LIFT
ANYTHING FOR A WHILE
575
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:25,043
'CAUSE YOUR ARM
COULD FALL OFF.
576
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:25,043
THANKS, BILLY.
577
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,645
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING THERE?
578
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,645
NOTHING.
579
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:28,947
THE HAND GETS KINDA BUGGY
WHEN I USE IT FOR DELICATE WORK.
580
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,949
IT'S FINE NOW.
HOW'D YOU GET THAT THING?
581
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,186
THAT'S AN EXCELLENT QUESTION.
I HAVE NO IDEA.