1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,920 >> [ birds calling ] 2 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:21,980 >> DOH! 3 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,899 >> Dr. Girlfriend: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 4 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,359 >> I'M PRETENDING I'M FARRAH FAWCETT MAKING HER 5 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:27,152 BIG COMEBACK. 6 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,319 WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? 7 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:31,489 I'M NOT GONNA SLEEP IN THE BED YOU PLEASURED PHANTOM LIMB IN. 8 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,491 I'M BURNING THE BED AND THE -- WHAT ARE THESE? 9 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:34,743 LITTLE LEAGUE TROPHIES? 10 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,286 AND ALL THESE SELF HELP BOOKS. 11 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,454 >> THEN SELL 'EM! 12 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:38,246 DO YOU HAVE TO BURN 'EM? 13 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:39,456 IT'S INSANE! 14 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,623 >> YOU KNOW WHAT'S INSANE? 15 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,001 THAT YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO READ THE SECRET. 16 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,085 YOU WANT THE SECRET? 17 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,504 YEAH, YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND'S PATHETIC! SHH. 18 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,882 DON'T TELL ANYONE. SECRET. 19 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,551 >> HONEY, THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE STILL UPSET ABOUT LIMB. 20 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,512 WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING YOU, SWEETS? 21 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,514 >> IT'S THIS WHOLE THING. 22 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,682 OW! 23 00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:58,975 THIS HOUSE, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD. 24 00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:02,020 I CAN'T BELIEVE I LIVE IN A TOWN CALLED MALICE! 25 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:02,979 >> WHAT? 26 00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:04,063 IT'S AN EXCELLENT COMMUNITY. 27 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,566 LOWEST PROPERTY TAX IN THE DISTRICT, THREE 28 00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,860 SUPERMARKETS, AND -- >> AND IT'S A GATED COMMUNITY 29 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,028 FOR SUPER VILLAINS. 30 00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:12,655 IT'S LIKE BOCA RATON ON HALLOWEEN AROUND HERE! 31 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:13,823 >> IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 32 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,700 I MEAN, MANTA CLAWS LIVES A BLOCK AWAY. 33 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,035 YOU USED TO LOVE MANTA CLAWS. 34 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,454 >> TILL I FOUND OUT HE USES A LITTLE HIDDEN SCUBA TANK, 35 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,748 AND THE CLAWS ARE MADE OF SCULPIE. 36 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,208 >> WHAT ABOUT SERGEANT HATRED? 37 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,584 YOU LIKE HIM, RIGHT? 38 00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:26,044 >> SERGEANT HATRED? 39 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,505 SWEETIE, I ONLY HUNG OUT WITH HIM SO MY HENCHMEN COULD 40 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,633 ROB HIM BLIND WHILE I PRETENDED TO LISTEN TO HIS BORING STORIES. 41 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:34,302 >> WELL, HE'S HAVING SOME KIND OF PARTY TONIGHT. 42 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:35,970 AND HE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO INVITE US. 43 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,222 I THINK WE SHOULD GO. 44 00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:39,724 >> YEAH, I'LL BE SURE TO PUT THAT ON MY "TO DON'T" LIST. 45 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,060 WHAT THE HELL DOES HE HAVE TO CELEBRATE ANYWAY? 46 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:51,110 [ thunder rumbling ] >> [ boys whimpering ] 47 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:54,113 >> HANK, IF A BIG MAN WALKS OUT OF THE BURNING CLOUD, 48 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,698 DO NOT BE AFRAID. 49 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,991 THAT'S JESUS. 50 00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:00,453 >> Sgt. Hatred: ATTENTION DR. THADDEUS S. VENTURE! 51 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,915 THIS IS SGT. HATRED, YOUR NEW ARCH ENEMY. 52 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,876 PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM! 53 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,424 >> OH, HEY... 54 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,009 YOUR DAD AROUND? 55 00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:47,959 >> Hatred: I JUST GOTTA TELL YA WHAT AN HONOR IT IS TO BE 56 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:51,796 WORKING WITH THE LEGEND HIMSELF, THE DR. VENTURE! 57 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,632 THE GUY WHO PUT THE "PRO" INTO PROTAGONIST. 58 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,718 >> [ Venture laughs ] WELL, THANK YOU. 59 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,636 AND SORRY AGAIN, ABOUT MY MAN, BROCK. 60 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,013 >> NO, NO. MY BAD. 61 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,516 I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME BLOWING IN HERE LIKE THE BIG BAD WOLF. 62 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,185 BUT WHEN THOSE NEW MARCHING ORDERS CAME DOWN FROM THE GUILD 63 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,022 BRASS, I JUST THOUGHT, "HATRED, WHY DON'T YOU SWING 64 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,816 THE OLD WELCOME TANK OVER TO THE VENTURE COMPOUND 65 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,861 AND GIVE THOSE KIDS A BASKET OF HOWDY-DO!" 66 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,446 >> IS "HOWDY-DO" FRUIT? 67 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:17,530 >> OKRA! 68 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,908 ME AND THE MISSES GROW THE HELL OUT OF IT. 69 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,118 PERSONALLY, I CAN'T STAND THE STUFF. 70 00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:24,203 >> SO YOU'RE NOT HERE TO TRY TO KILL ME, THEN? 71 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,204 >> NOT YET, ANYWAY. 72 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,166 [ laughs ] THIS IS JUST A MEET AND GREET. 73 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:32,003 WHOA, HEY! FANCY! 74 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:35,882 SEE, DR. VENTURE, I'VE BEEN AT THIS A LOTTA YEARS. 75 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,843 AND THE ONE THING I'VE LEARNED IS THERE'S NO GOOD REASON 76 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:42,221 ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT ARCHING HAS TO BE A COMPLETELY 77 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,641 UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE FOR EITHER OF US. 78 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,893 SPEAKING OF GREEN EARTH, WHAT DO YA GOT OUT THERE, 79 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,436 KENTUCKY BLUEGRASS? 80 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:49,604 AH, THAT IS LUSH! 81 00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,898 >> NAH, THAT'S MY OWN SPECIAL BLEND OF BLUE RIDGE 82 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:52,982 AND CREEPING RED. 83 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:53,816 >> I'M GONNA SAY IT AGAIN... 84 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,109 LUSH! 85 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,403 >> SO YOU WON'T BE TEARING MY ROOF OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF 86 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,864 THE NIGHT OR SHOOTING AT THE GUESTS ATTENDING MY MONTHLY 87 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:00,949 BOOK CLUB? 88 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,701 >> NO, NONE OF THAT AMATEUR HOUR MALARKEY. 89 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,703 I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ARCHING AND REAL LIFE, 90 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:06,829 THANK YOU. 91 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,665 "HATE TO LIVE, DON'T LIVE TO HATE." 92 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,124 THAT'S MY MOTTO. 93 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,294 >> HUH. THAT ALMOST SOUNDS SANE COMPARED TO MY LAST ARCH ENEMY. 94 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:16,130 >> OKAY, THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE WAY "LINENS" IS SPELLED, 95 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:19,258 BUT THOSE GO IN THE HALL CLOSET, UPSTAIRS. 96 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,762 >> HEY, YOU THINK YOU CAN SIGN THIS, BOSS? IT'S FOR 24. 97 00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,389 HE GOT KNIFED BY THE MOPPETS. 98 00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:25,848 >> WHICH ONE IS 24 AGAIN? 99 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,308 >> WHAT? YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? 100 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,394 LET ME GIVE YOU HINT -- YOU KNOW HOW EVERY TIME 101 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,813 YOU TALK TO ME, THERE'S USUALLY ANOTHER GUY NEXT TO ME? 102 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:32,563 THAT'S 24. 103 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,731 >> RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 104 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,442 THE ONE WHO SOUNDS LIKE RAY ROMANO. I LIKE HIM. 105 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,820 >> OH, AND HEY, I STAKED OUT THE ROOM UPSTAIRS WITH THE -- 106 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:42,573 >> YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING IN THIS HOUSE, 21. NONE OF YOU ARE! 107 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,741 >> AAAH! 108 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,035 >> UH, WHAT THE MONARCH IS TRYING TO SAY IS... 109 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,163 WE'VE DISCUSSED IT, AND WE JUST THINK IT'S TIME WE STARTED 110 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,581 KEEPING OUR HOME SEPARATE. 111 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,583 >> YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIVE IN THIS SWEET CRIB? 112 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,502 >> NO, WE ARE, BUT -- >> WELL, THEN WHICH ONE 113 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:55,628 IS MY ROOM? 114 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,755 >> NO, "WE," MEANING THE MONARCH AND I. 115 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,674 HONEY, A LITTLE HELP HERE? 116 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:00,675 >> MINIONS! 117 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,427 RETREAT TO THE COCOON! 118 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:03,928 NOW! 119 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,930 YOU DON'T NEED TO DISCUSS WITH HENCHMEN. 120 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,516 NOW WHAT'S THIS CRAP WITH YOUR MOPPETS AND 24? 121 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:12,103 >> IT'S AWFUL. TIM-TOM AND KEVIN CAME TO ME IN TEARS YESTERDAY. 122 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,397 THEY'RE TELLING ME THE OTHER HENCHMEN HAVE BEEN TEASING THEM. 123 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,442 APPARENTLY 24 EVEN PICKED A FIGHT WITH THEM. 124 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:18,818 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 125 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,236 >> 24? NOT REALLY. 126 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:21,487 >> SO, UH... 127 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,447 ANY ALLERGIES? 128 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:23,448 >> NOT THAT I KNOW OF. 129 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,282 >> ARE YOU AN EPILEPTIC? 130 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:25,616 >> NO. 131 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,785 >> TAKING ANY PRESCRIPTION DRUGS THAT COULD HAVE A NEGATIVE 132 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,454 INTERACTION WITH A TEAR GAS... 133 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:30,455 >> NO. 134 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,456 >> NERVE TOXINS? 135 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,415 >> NO. 136 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,416 >> NAPAL-- I'M SORRY. 137 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,293 I GOTTA ASK ALL THIS STUFF. 138 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,337 OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA THROW A FEW THINGS OUT THERE, AND ON 139 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,632 A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN, I WANT YOU TO TELL ME HOW MUCH MENACE 140 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,884 YOU EXPERIENCE. 141 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,344 OKAY, HAND GRENADES?! 142 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,304 >> TWO. 143 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,346 >> FLAMETHROWERS? 144 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,347 >> TWO. 145 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,348 >> OKAY... 146 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,308 SPIDERS? 147 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,350 >> GIANT OR REGULAR? 148 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,310 >> REGULAR. 149 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:53,686 >> I DON'T KNOW. LIKE, ONE. 150 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,729 >> GIANT SPIDERS?! 151 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:55,730 >> THREE. 152 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:56,731 >> ARE YOU SURE? 153 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,524 GIANT SPIDERS... 154 00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,984 MAYBE YOU WANNA GO TO "FOUR"? 155 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,152 >> FINE, FOUR! 156 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,029 LOOK, IS THIS GONNA TAKE ALL DAY? 157 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,989 >> HEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET YA THE BIGGEST BANG FOR YOUR 158 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,574 ARCHING BUCK HERE. 159 00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,659 WE'RE ALMOST DONE... 160 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:09,660 SIT TIGHT. 161 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,621 >> WHA-WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU WRITING? 162 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:12,789 >> "IMPATIENT." 163 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,916 YOUR RESPONSE TO THE TEST IS PART OF THE TEST. 164 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:15,875 >> OH, COME ON! 165 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,627 >> VICIOUS ATTACK DOGS! 166 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,921 >> AND HONESTLY, I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD BE WITH THE OTHERS. 167 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:20,880 THEY'RE DELICATE. 168 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:22,840 >> FINE. THEY CAN STAY HERE. 169 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,593 BUT ONLY UNTIL WE GET THEM THEIR OWN HENCHMAN UNIFORMS. 170 00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,803 >> REALLY? 171 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,262 OH, THANK YOU, SWEETIE. 172 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,972 IT'LL MEAN SO MUCH TO THEM. 173 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,349 TIM-TOM! 174 00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:32,308 KEVIN! 175 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:33,518 HE SAID IT'S OKAY! 176 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:34,519 >> YEAH, YEAH. 177 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,520 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 178 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:36,687 >> WHAT? 179 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,523 PUTTING OUR BED -- >> WHAT ARE YOU TWO, CATS? 180 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,525 YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING AT THE FOOT OF MY BED! 181 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,693 THERE ARE 20 ROOMS IN THIS HOUSE! 182 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:43,611 FIND ONE! 183 00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,363 >> WELL... 184 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:46,864 I GOTTA ROLL OUT. 185 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:50,451 I GOT A SOIREE AT 1800 HOURS AND I STILL GOTTA GO TO 186 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:54,247 THE COSTCO ON THE WAY HOME TO PICK UP SOME PARTY PLATTERS. 187 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,708 I JUST WANNA SAY AGAIN HOW MUCH I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO WORKING 188 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,918 WITH YOU, VENTURE. 189 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,630 I THINK WE'RE GONNA HAVE A REAL BLAST TOGETHER. 190 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,799 OOH, SPEAKING OF WHICH -- [ gunshot ] 191 00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,551 >> WHOA! HEY! 192 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:07,885 >> OH, RUBBER BULLETS! 193 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:08,845 RUBBER BULLETS. 194 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,513 JUST KEEPING IT LIVELY. 195 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,682 IT'S NOT ALL CHARTS AND SCHEDULES. 196 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,059 >> [ Venture screaming ] >> WOW! 197 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,270 MAN, HE'S A DELICATE ONE, ISN'T HE? 198 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,814 THEY USUALLY DON'T BREAK THE SKIN LIKE THAT, I -- 199 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,065 MALICE TROOP! 200 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,942 YEAH, WE GOT A BLEEDER HERE. 201 00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,443 86 THE NON-LETHAL. 202 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,946 WE'RE GOING FULL NERF ON THIS ONE. 203 00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:30,616 >> [ sighs ] NO. 204 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,993 NO. 205 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,619 GEEZ, LOOK AT THIS GUY. 206 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,830 >> ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR OR SO. 207 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,124 I'M JUST GONNA MAKE AN APPEARANCE TO BE POLITE. 208 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,458 YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA COME? 209 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,751 >> POSITIVE. 210 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,920 I'M JUST GONNA CURL UP WITH THE NEW GUILD FACE BOOK. 211 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,672 MAYBE PICK A NEW ARCH. 212 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:45,590 >> THAT'S MY OLD MONARCH. 213 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:46,841 YOU'LL SEE, HONEY. 214 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,427 ONCE YOU'RE BACK ARCHING, EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST 215 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,428 LIKE IT WAS. 216 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,512 >> YEAH, YEAH. 217 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,973 OH, BE SURE AND TELL HATRED "DIE" FOR ME. 218 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:57,435 >> [ groans ] >> PROFESSOR FLOWERS? 219 00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:00,771 [ scoffs ] DOUCHE. 220 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,024 WELL, HELLO, DR. VENTURE. 221 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,400 >> OH, HELLO. 222 00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,444 I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE. 223 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,820 >> NOR DID I? 224 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,030 >> IS THIS NUMBER FIVE? 225 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,782 >> Girlfriend: WELL YEAH, BUT -- OH, I SEE, YEAH. 226 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,701 YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SGT. HATRED. 227 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:18,122 >> WELL, I WAS, BUT I'D SAY I FOUND SOMETHING BETTER. 228 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,875 [ chuckles ] >> YEAH. I GUESS IT'S A TYPO. 229 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,126 HE'S RIGHT NEXT DOOR. 230 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,545 JUST FOLLOW THE CUL-DE-SAC TO THE HOUSE WITH THE BIG "H" 231 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,630 ON THE LAWN. 232 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,298 YOU CAN'T MISS IT. 233 00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:29,217 >> [ groans ] I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY WE'RE 234 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,176 DOING THIS. 235 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,594 >> WE KINDA HAVE TO. 236 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,639 IT'S JUST ONE OF THE THINGS THAT COMES WITH THIS LIFE 237 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:35,681 YOU CHOSE. 238 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,974 >> "CHOSE," MY KEISTER! 239 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,185 MY DAD DUMPED THIS LIFE IN MY LAP LIKE A CUP OF 240 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,645 SCALDING HOT RESPONSIBILITY. 241 00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:44,357 >> H-HONEY, WAIT UP. 242 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:48,069 [ door opens ] >> WHAT THE HELL'S BELLS 243 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:49,779 ARE THEY DOING HERE? 244 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:50,863 >> WHAT? 245 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,782 YOU INVITED US. 246 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:53,866 >> YEAH, YOU. 247 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,702 BUT THOSE TWO LOOKERS AREN'T 18, ARE THEY? 248 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:57,912 >> NO, WE'RE 16. 249 00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:58,913 >> GOING ON 17. 250 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,414 >> YOU GOTTA GET 'EM OUTTA HERE. 251 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,501 I HAD SOME TROUBLES BACK BEFORE I MET MY WIFE. 252 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:07,421 LONG STORY SHORT -- I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE WITHIN 50 FEET 253 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,756 OF A BEAUTIFUL MINOR. 254 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,883 SHOULDA MENTIONED IT BACK AT THE COMPOUND. 255 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,927 ACTUALLY, I'M REQUIRED BY LAW. 256 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:15,012 >> AAH, ALL RIGHT. 257 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,806 EVERYBODY BACK IN THE CAR. 258 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,517 THE BUZZKILL BOYS HAVE RUINED ANOTHER NIGHT. 259 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,685 >> NO, NO, DON'T GO! 260 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,687 THE PARTY'S JUST GETTING STARTED! 261 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,189 >> HEY, EVERYBODY, IT'S THE MONARCH! 262 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,525 AND DR. USED TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. 263 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,111 >> OH, WHAT DOES MY BEST MAN NEED, A BABYSITTER? 264 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,780 I GOT A FLOATING RUMPUS ROOM RIGHT NEXT DOOR FULL OF GUYS 265 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,031 WITH NOTHING TO DO. 266 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,241 LIVE A LITTLE... 267 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:37,076 >> DOC, DO YOU THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA? 268 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,077 >> STOP YOUR FUSSING. 269 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,120 HE'S BEEN CLIPPED. 270 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,121 HE'S HARMLESS. 271 00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,080 OOOH, SHRIMP. 272 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,331 >> HERE, HERE. 273 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,376 COME HERE, PIN THESE ON YOUR BACKS AND COME ON IN. 274 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:48,796 I'M SURE YOU KNOW THE GANG. 275 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:51,048 >> LOOK AT HIM! HE'S EATING ALL THE COCKTAIL SHRIMP. 276 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,925 I HATE GUYS WHO DO THAT. 277 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,218 >> COME ON, IT'S A PARTY. 278 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,555 PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID. 279 00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:00,224 >> OKAY, 24'S OUT SICK, SO, UH, YOU GUYS CAN SLEEP 280 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,392 IN HERE. 281 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,144 WELL, GOOD NIGHT. 282 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,145 >> WAIT, DUDE! 283 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,187 IT'S LIKE 8:00 AT NIGHT. 284 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,230 >> YEAH, WHOO. 285 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,732 HERE I AM, BUSHED. 286 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,608 >> OH, DON'T EVEN TRY THAT. 287 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,153 >> LOOK, NO OFFENSE, BUT I'M IN NO MOOD TO PLAY BABYSITTER 288 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,447 TO THE RITALIN TWINS TONIGHT, OKAY? 289 00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,365 MY LIFE SUCKS QUITE ENOUGH ALREADY, THANK YOU. 290 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,867 I HAVE BIG BOY PROBLEMS. 291 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:18,868 >> GIRLS? 292 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,161 >> I WISH. 293 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,370 >> HEMORRHOIDS? 294 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,122 >> TIME FOR FUN! 295 00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:26,709 NOW, EVERYBODY HAS THE NAME OF A FAMOUS PERSON 296 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,085 PINNED TO THEIR BACKS. 297 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,756 EVERYBODY ELSE WILL TREAT YOU LIKE THE PERSON ON YOUR TAG. 298 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,175 FIRST ONE TO GUESS GETS A PRIZE! 299 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:37,053 NOW MINGLE. 300 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,138 DAMN YOU, MINGLE! 301 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,640 >> YOU'RE MARRIED TO A POWERFUL MAN. 302 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,768 >> UH, LET'S SEE... 303 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:44,852 MRS. HULK HOGAN? 304 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:45,603 >> NO. 305 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:46,771 OKAY... 306 00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:50,441 YOU'RE FAMOUS FOR YOUR PINK SUIT AND PILLBOX HAT. 307 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,109 >> UH, ME? 308 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,112 >> YOU'RE A BRAINLESS FAILURE AND LIVE ENTIRELY OFF YOUR 309 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,156 FATHER'S NAME AND FORTUNE. 310 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:57,948 >> I'M GEORGE BUSH? 311 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,116 >> HARDLY! 312 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,994 I'VE NEVER, NEVER HATED ANYONE AS MUCH AS YOU! 313 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,037 >> WAIT, WAIT... 314 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,205 HITLER? 315 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,247 DID HE HAVE A FAMOUS FATHER? 316 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,707 >> WORSE! YOU WASH UP! 317 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,085 YOU SHOULD JUST ADMIT THAT YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING 318 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,128 AND DRINK POISON! 319 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,297 >> OH, IS IT... UH... 320 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,091 SOCRATES' SON? 321 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,676 >> I LOVED YOU IN FIRE WALK WITH ME, 322 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,222 BUT MOST KNOW YOUR WORK IN -- >> YEAH, GREAT, WHATEVER. 323 00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:23,432 I'M HARRY DEAN STANTON. 324 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,975 >> WE HAVE A WINNER! 325 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:29,480 >> OH, WHO THE HELL IS JACQUELINE ONASSIS? 326 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,981 >> OF COURSE. 327 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,650 MARIAH CAREY. 328 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,985 SO, CLOSE.... 329 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,613 SERIOUSLY, I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT. 330 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:40,491 >> HEY, HOW YOU FEELING? 331 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,535 >> LIKE A DWARF STUCK A KNIFE IN ME. 332 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:43,828 HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? 333 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,413 DID YOU BRING MY... 334 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,539 MAGAZINES? 335 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,666 >> NO, I BROUGHT SOMETHING WAY BETTER. 336 00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,794 I GOT SOMEONE HERE WHO CAME TO CHEER YOU UP. 337 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:52,837 >> HE REMEMBERED? 338 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,714 [ groaning ] >> HEY, THERE, GLUM CHUM! 339 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,676 >> ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU TWO TO CATCH UP. 340 00:11:58,759 --> 00:11:59,677 >> GOOD IDEA! 341 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,388 THIS ROOM IS OFFICIALLY QUARANTINED! 342 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,057 'CAUSE SMILES ARE CONTAGIOUS. 343 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,893 >> I HATE YOU. 344 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,063 >> [ both snickering ] [ door closes ] 345 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,731 >> R AND D. 346 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,984 YEAH, THIS IS WHERE MY TROOPS CREATE 347 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,902 ALL MY CUTTING EDGE EQUIPMENT. 348 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,238 >> YEAH, WE HAVE SIMILAR STUFF OVER AT THE COCOON. 349 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:20,281 ONLY THEY'RE YELLOW. 350 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,240 >> SURE YOU DO. 351 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:22,241 YOU GOT ONE OF THESE? 352 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,451 30 DART REPEATER. 353 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,578 ALL THE DARTS ARE STORED RIGHT HERE IN THE BUTT. 354 00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,204 >> YEAH, STANDARD ISSUE. 355 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,123 >> HMM. WELL. 356 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,750 WHAT ABOUT THIS LITTLE NUMBER? 357 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,751 LOOKS LIKE A COM LINK, BUT IF YOU HIT THIS -- 358 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,879 >> YEAH, YEAH, YOU HIT THAT BUTTON AND IT CONVERTS 359 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:35,880 TO A GRAPPLE GUN. 360 00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,089 WE HAVE THOSE, TOO. 361 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,424 >> HMM. 362 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,260 WELL, HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING THAT WE JUST DEVELOPED. 363 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,095 MICRO EXPLOSIVES! 364 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,264 YOU JUST STICK THIS LITTLE NUMBER ON YOUR TARGET, 365 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,809 SET THE TIMER, AND IT DELIVERS A BLAST OF PIN-POINT ENERGY 366 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,728 RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT IT. 367 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:54,398 >> NICE. I-I-I'M SURE MY MEN ARE WORKING ONE SOMETHING 368 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,566 JUST LIKE THAT. 369 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:56,775 >> WELL, OF COURSE THEY ARE. 370 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,069 I MET YOUR CRACK TEAM OF HENCHMEN. 371 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,322 IMPRESSIVE GROUP OF BOYS. 372 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:02,406 >> IMPRESSIVE. 373 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,450 >> OOH! I GOTTA SHOW YOU MY BATTLE ROOM. 374 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:08,037 YOU WILL LOVE THIS! 375 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,080 >> [ evil chuckle ] >> COME ON! 376 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,583 >> OH, I'M RIGHT BEHIND YA! 377 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,252 >> WE LEAVE THE GAS ON, THEY GO IN THEIR SLEEP, 378 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,420 ALL QUIET LIKE. 379 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,589 >> AW, I WANTED TO HEAR 'EM SCREAM. 380 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,257 >> IT'S NOT AS MUCH FUN, BUT IT'LL LOOK MORE LIKE 381 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,509 AN ACCIDENT. 382 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,428 THEN THE MONARCH WON'T BE EXPECTING IT WHEN WE -- 383 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,804 >> THAT'S YOUR BIG PROBLEM? 384 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,932 YOU'RE SCARED OF TWO LITTLE BABIES! 385 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:28,933 >> DUDE, GET BACK. 386 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:29,892 THEY'LL SEE YOU! 387 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:30,893 >> YOU GOT ME ALL WORKED UP. 388 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:31,936 YOU SAID THEY HAD CLAWS! 389 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:32,978 >> GET BACK!! 390 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,855 ALL RIGHT, SO I EXAGGERATED A LITTLE. 391 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,982 DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID TO 24? 392 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,861 THEY'RE LIKE NASTY, SWEARING SPIDER MONKEYS WITH KNIVES. 393 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,905 >> [ gasps ] HOLY SMOKES! 394 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:43,906 THAT LADY IS... 395 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,491 IS IN HER BIRTHDAY SUIT. 396 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,618 I THINK THEY'RE WATCHING NO-NO MOVIES. 397 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:48,619 >> THEY'RE NOT. 398 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,454 THEY'RE WATCHING NELL. 399 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,789 AND THAT'S MY DVD! 400 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:54,333 >> DUDE, I THINK I JUST SAW SHINDLER'S DINGUS. 401 00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,334 >> SHH. 402 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:56,460 >> THIS SUCKS. 403 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,546 WHEN DOES SHE MEET HANNIBAL LECTER? 404 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,297 >> SHUT THE [ bleep ] UP! 405 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,008 BITCH IS KILLING ME. 406 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,301 >> I DON'T REMEMBER THIS PART. 407 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,761 IS THIS THE DIRECTOR'S CUT? 408 00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:08,556 DUDE, HOLY CRAP! 409 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,474 >> BOOK! 410 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,519 >> AW, SWEET INFINITY SHOT, THOUGH. 411 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,937 >> IT WAS 21. I SAW HIM. 412 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,522 >> I COUNTED TWO PIGGIES. 413 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,481 WHO'S HE WITH? 414 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,275 >> WHO THE HELL YOU THINK? 415 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,318 >> THOUGHT HE WAS STILL IN SICK BAY. 416 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,903 WE MUST BE LOSING OUR TOUCH. 417 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,281 >> WELL, LET'S GET IT BACK. 418 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,615 >> NO, NO, NO. 419 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,992 NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY. 420 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:29,285 IT'S ALL FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR. 421 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,829 >> WELL, I JUST ASSUMED THAT THE MAGIC WE SHARED THAT NIGHT 422 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:34,331 WAS SOMETHING BIGGER THAN THE BOTH OF US. 423 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,666 >> YEAH, NOTHING HAPPENED. 424 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,376 >> WELL IF IT DID HAPPEN, IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE I DIDN'T 425 00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:38,502 KNOW WHO YOU WERE. 426 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,670 >> NOTHING HAPPENED. 427 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:42,756 >> MANY WOMEN HAVE HIT ON ME BECAUSE OF MY FAME. 428 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,008 >> NOTHING HAPPENED! 429 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:47,428 >> AND SOME JUST SENSE THE INNER ANIMAL. PHEROMONES. 430 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,220 LADIES PICK UP ON IT. 431 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,471 >> UGH! 432 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,681 NOTHING HAPPENED! 433 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,891 >> ARE YOU SENSING ANYTHING NOW? 434 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,227 MY SMELL PERHAPS? 435 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,520 MEOW... 436 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,356 >> SO THEN MY DAD GETS REMARRIED, RIGHT -- 437 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,983 TO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND! 438 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,610 IT'S ALMOST INCEST. 439 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,736 >> IT'S ALMOST A GREEK MYTH. 440 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,863 [ door opens ] >> DUDE, HIDE US! 441 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:09,867 >> Kevin: 21 AND 24, GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE! 442 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,995 >> [ 24 whimpers ] >> THEY AIN'T IN 24's ROOM. 443 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,580 >> COME ON OUT, LADIES. 444 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:15,956 WE JUST WANNA TALK. 445 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:16,957 >> WAIT A MINUTE... 446 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,292 WHY DO THEY WANT ME? 447 00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,376 WHAT DID I DO? 448 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,545 WHAT DID YOU DO? 449 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,422 >> [ TV playing ] >> BROCK, WHAT THE HELL ARE 450 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,715 YOU DOING? 451 00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,217 >> I'M WATCHING THIS PBS SPECIAL ON GIANT CROSSBOWS. 452 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,469 >> WHY? 453 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:29,386 >> LOOKED COOL. 454 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,554 >> WHY AREN'T YOU PROTECTING ME? 455 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,222 THIS IS A DEN OF THIEVES. 456 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,350 >> DOC, IT'S A BAD PARTY. 457 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,977 GRANTED, IT'S A PARTY THROWN BY YOUR ARCH ENEMY. 458 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,729 BUT THESE GUYS HAVE CODES. 459 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:41,482 YOU'RE SAFER HERE THAN YOU ARE AT THE COMPOUND. 460 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:43,275 >> OKAY... 461 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,360 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 462 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,569 >> NO. 463 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,071 I REALLY WANNA SEE THESE GUYS SHOOT THAT CROSSBOW. 464 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:48,405 THING'S HUGE. 465 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,659 >> HEY, VENTURE, WHAT ARE -- OH, YOU GOTTA KEEP THIS DOOR 466 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,786 CLOSED OR THE CAT WILL GET OUT. 467 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,079 >> IS THAT WHAT THAT THING WAS? 468 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,247 I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME GUY IN A CAT COSTUME. 469 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,916 >> I KNOW, IT'S HUGE. 470 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:01,794 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK MY WIFE FEEDS IT. 471 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,922 SON, YOU GOTTA GET OUT THERE, IT'S YOUR PARTY. 472 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,633 PEOPLE WANNA MEET MY DR. VENTURE. 473 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,803 >> COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE! 474 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:15,808 WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TWO, A LITTLE PRESENT. 475 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,476 >> TIM-TOM! 476 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,936 LOOK WHAT I FOUND. 477 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,270 >> WELL, HELLO... 478 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,230 WHAT'S THIS? 479 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,232 >> DAMN, EVEN HIS DOT IS FAT. 480 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,483 >> Girlfriend: FLYING! FLYING! 481 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,276 >> Monarch: ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEXT! 482 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,277 >> YOU'RE FLYING! BIRD! 483 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:28,570 >> WE KNOW HE'S A BIRD! 484 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,280 HE'S BEEN DOING THE SAME THING FOR FIVE [ bleep ] MINUTES! 485 00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,448 OKAY, MY GOD! 486 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,825 GO TO THE NEXT WORD! 487 00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:33,826 >> BIRD MAN OF ALCATRAZ! 488 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,619 >> NEXT CLUE! DO A SOUNDS LIKE! 489 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,453 YOU'RE KILLING ME! 490 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,413 >> TIME! 491 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,622 >> BIRDY! 492 00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,624 BIRDY! IT WAS BIRDY! 493 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,334 >> OH, WITH NICHOLAS CAGE. 494 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,838 >> NICE JOB. WOULD BEEN NICE IF YOU TOLD US IT WAS 495 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:50,050 ONE WORD, THOUGH. 496 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,469 LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE. 497 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,472 >> OKAY, GO. 498 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,473 >> IT'S A MOVIE. 499 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,474 >> DUH. 500 00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,476 >> NO TALKING. 501 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,437 >> THE SCORPION KING? 502 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,647 >> BREAKIN' 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! 503 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,733 >> BOOM! THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE! 504 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,025 >> NOPE, YOU TALKED. 505 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,319 I CAN'T COUNT IT. 506 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,446 >> HATRED! 507 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,990 MARK MY WORDS -- >> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 508 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,826 WE'RE ALL SUPER VILLAINS HERE, MONARCH. 509 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,078 WE'VE HEARD THAT SPEECH 1,000 TIMES. 510 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,621 YOU DON'T GET THE POINT. 511 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:24,334 [ all panting ] >> I'VE REOPENED MY PANCREAS. 512 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,586 I'M BLEEDING INTERNALLY. 513 00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:27,379 >> DUDE, WE'RE ALL GONNA BE BLEEDING IF YOU DON'T 514 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,630 SUCK IT UP. 515 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:29,631 >> YOU SUCK IT UP. 516 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,632 >> YOU SUCK IT UP! 517 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,675 >> THERE THEY ARE! 518 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:37,848 >> AH, TH-TH-THIS WAY >> AW, [ bleep ]. 519 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,892 >> IT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCELLENT IDEA, ACTUALLY. 520 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,810 >> YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A CALL! 521 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,772 >> HI, SWEETIE. HATRED WAS JUST TELLING ME HE USED TO ARCH 522 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:48,525 COMMANDER CONSUMMATE, AND THINKS HE'D BE A PERFECT MATCH FOR US. 523 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,195 >> I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED-- ARE YOU SMOKING? 524 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,196 >> WHO? 525 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:53,197 >> YOU. 526 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,114 >> WHY? 527 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,407 >> WHAT WHY? ARE YOU SMOKING? 528 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,408 >> MAYBE. 529 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,367 >> WHAT? 530 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,410 WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING? 531 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,496 >> 1989-ISH. 532 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,247 >> SO YOU HAVE BEEN LYING! 533 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,750 IT ALL MAKES SENSE -- THE FILLED ASHTRAYS, 534 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:07,044 THE BURNING PINE SCENTED HAIR SPRAY. 535 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,212 >> I GUESS I'LL SAY IT... 536 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,880 HER THREE PACK A DAY VOICE? 537 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,965 >> WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME, YOU LIAR? 538 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,801 >> BECAUSE YOU WOULD-- >> LIAR! 539 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:14,843 >> DO THAT. 540 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,137 >> LIAR! 541 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,389 >> YOU'VE GOTTA LEARN HOW TO RELAX, SON. 542 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,850 YOU GOT THAT HOT LITTLE FILLY NOW. 543 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,353 I KNOW SHE USED TO KEEP PHANTOM LIMB PRETTY RELAXED -- 544 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,730 >> DON'T YOU DARE BRING HIM UP! 545 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,398 >> OOH, SORE SPOT. 546 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:31,777 I KNOW JUST THE THING THAT'LL HELP YOU RELAX. 547 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,695 TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES! 548 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:40,202 [ beeping ] >> SHH. 549 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:41,161 >> WHAT IS THAT? 550 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,204 WHY DO I KNOW THAT SOUND? 551 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,247 >> IS IT... 552 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,373 PAC MAN? 553 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,250 >> NO, PAC MAN WAS WE WE, WE WE, WE WE, WE WE 554 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:46,959 WIB WIB! 555 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,418 >> THAT'S WHEN YOU DIE. 556 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,212 WHEN YOU'RE JUST EATING PELLETS IT'S MORE LIKE DUH DUH, DUH DUH 557 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,755 DUH DUH, DUH DUH. 558 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,799 >> OH, WAIT, IT'S A MONARCH-ISSUE 559 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,634 RADAR TROOP TRACKER. 560 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:56,593 OF COURSE, DUH. 561 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,804 >> DUDE, THE CHIP IN OUR UNIFORMS! 562 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,973 THEY CAN TOTALLY TRACK US! 563 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:05,435 >> [ exhales deeply ] DON'T THOSE JETS FEEL GREAT? 564 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,770 >> YEAH, GREAT. 565 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,356 >> OOH, WE SHOULD CALL YOUR HOT FILLY AND VAINGLORIA OVER 566 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,275 TO ADD SOME PEACH TO THIS BREW. 567 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,987 OH, I REMEMBER WHEN YOUR WOMAN WAS WITH PHANTOM LIMB. 568 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,780 >> OKAY, OKAY! ENOUGH! 569 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,073 YOU HAVE BEEN ON ME ALL NIGHT! 570 00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:20,117 YOU INVITE ME OVER TO WATCH MY SWORN ENEMY EAT-- 571 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:20,993 >> WHOA! 572 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,160 YOU MEAN MY SWORN ENEMY! 573 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,705 >> AND THE NEEDLING, AND THE PHANTOM LIMB CRAP! 574 00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,790 WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ME, ANYWAY? 575 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,167 >> I'M A CHANGED MAN, MONARCH. 576 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,087 THERE'S LESS HATRED IN THIS OLD... 577 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,046 HATRED. 578 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,299 BUT I'M NOT AN IMBECILE. 579 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:38,635 I HAVE BEEN SITTING BACK AND WATCHING YOU AND YOUR FAT, 580 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,138 WORTHLESS HENCHMEN ROB ME BLIND. 581 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:42,055 >> WHAT? 582 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,682 TH-THA-THAT'S INSANE! 583 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:44,808 >> YEAH, KEEP IT UP. 584 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,686 KEEP TREATING ME LIKE A DODDERING OLD MAN. 585 00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:51,815 LOOK, YOU SCRAWNY LITTLE TURD, I WAS A PROFESSIONAL VILLAIN 586 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,401 WHILE YOU WERE TRADING GARBAGE PAIL KIDS! 587 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:58,280 I LEARNED HOW TO BIDE MY TIME AND STRIKE WHEN THE TROOPS 588 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,406 ARE IN POSITION. 589 00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:01,450 >> YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME, GRANDPA. 590 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,910 THE GUILD WOULD BURY YOU! 591 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,786 >> NO, YOU'LL BE FINE. 592 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,539 YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE ME TREAT YOUR ARCH RIVAL LIKE 593 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,625 A [ bleep ] DAMN KING! 594 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,501 VENTURE IS MY ARCH ENEMY NOW! 595 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,296 AND I'M AN GONNA COOK HIM BREAKFAST IN BED! 596 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,633 I AM GONNA MAKE HIS LIFE WONDERFUL. 597 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,177 AND YOU CAN'T DO SQUAT ABOUT IT! 598 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:23,263 >> HA! THINK THE MONARCH CAN BE BESTED SO EASILY? 599 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,848 >> GOOD LORD, SIT DOWN. 600 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:25,891 >> OH, DEAL WITH IT. 601 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,351 AND DEAL WITH THIS! 602 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:30,354 WHILE YOU WERE CHEATING AT PARTY GAMES, I PLANTED 603 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:33,857 YOUR MICRO EXPLOSIVE AT THE BASE OF VENTURE'S SPINE. 604 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,400 IN MINUTES, HE WILL BE DEAD! 605 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:36,818 IN YOUR HOME! 606 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,987 YOUR CAREER AS A VILLAIN WILL BE OVER! 607 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,698 AND I WILL HAVE DESTROYED BOTH OF MY ENEMIES 608 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,700 IN ONE FELL SWOOP! 609 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,910 >> ALL RIGHT, FINE! 610 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,578 I'LL TAKE A SOAK. 611 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:50,332 MY MAN IS INSISTING THAT I SPEND SOME GET-TO-KNOW-YOU TIME 612 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,709 WITH MY ANTAGONISTS. 613 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,044 NOT SURE WHY. 614 00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:56,880 >> [ panting ] LIGHTS OUT. 615 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,715 LIGHTS OUT, BOYS. 616 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,592 >> I KNOW, IT'S IMPRESSIVE. 617 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,971 EH, LOOKS LIKE RUSTY'S INHERITED MORE THAN HIS FATHER'S 618 00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:06,306 STARTLING INTELLECT. 619 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:09,059 >> [ panting ] YEAH! 620 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:13,939 >> [ both screaming ] >> YEP, JUST AS MOTHER 621 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,899 NATURE MADE ME. 622 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:19,945 WHY TAMPER WITH PERFECTION? 623 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:28,245 >> AHH, WHAT THE -- DAMN. 624 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:31,206 >> [ water burbles ] >> OOPS. SORRY GENTLEMEN. 625 00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:32,749 MUST BE ALL THAT SHRIMP. 626 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:33,959 >> HELP! 627 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,086 THE SHRIMPS HAVE KNIVES! 628 00:21:38,171 --> 00:21:40,924 captioning provided by turner studios. 629 00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:06,450 [ car engine revving ] >> UH, YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS 630 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:08,452 DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF, TOO. 631 00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,495 >> WELL, I SAW YOU GUYS DOING IT, AND I THOUGHT 632 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:13,206 "WATER SLIDE!" IT'S PART OF MY DNA, I THINK. 633 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:16,001 >> UH, I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS WHAT I'VE REALLY ALWAYS WANTED 634 00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:18,170 TO DO WAS BE A CABINET MAKER. 635 00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:20,464 >> I SAY FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. 636 00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:23,341 EVEN IF THEY ARE ABOUT A GIANT SPIDER WITH YOUR FATHER'S HEAD 637 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,927 AND HE KEEPS STEALING YOUR PENIS. 638 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:26,970 >> BOYS, COME ON! 639 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,973 WE'RE GOING! 640 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:31,683 >> GOOD NIGHT, BOYS. 641 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:35,270 UH, HEY, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA HAVE A LITTLE SLEEP OVER? 642 00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:37,647 THE WIFE'S AT HER MOTHER'S AND I'VE GOT A BASEMENT 643 00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:39,274 FULL OF VIDEO GAMES. 644 00:22:39,357 --> 00:22:40,817 EH? 645 00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,527 MAYBE A SHOWER?