1 00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:03,044 >> GENTLEMEN. 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,422 WELCOME TO SPIDER-SKULL ISLAND! 3 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:11,094 AND TO THE FIRST EVER SUMMIT OF THE FRATERNITY OF TORMENT! 4 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:15,014 MAY OUR HATRED BIND US TOGETHER ALWAYS IN VILLAINOUS 5 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,224 BROTHERHOOD. 6 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:19,310 HATRED FOR THE CRUEL SOCIETY THAT ONCE MOCKED US 7 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,520 FOR OUR DIFFERENCES. 8 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:23,231 MAN-O-TAUR, YOUR SIZE MADE YOU 9 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:27,235 AN OUTCAST AMONG MEN, BUT NOW THEY FEAR YOU. 10 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:31,614 BRAINULO, YOUR DEFORMITY HAS-- >> IT'S NOT A DEFORMITY! 11 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,866 >> OH. YEAH. 12 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:36,661 YOUR HEART WRENCHING ADDICTION TO PLASTIC SURGERY HAS -- 13 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,749 >> I WAS BORN LIKE THIS -- 1,000 YEARS FROM NOW! 14 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,625 >> RIGHT, OKAY. 15 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,544 >> SCREW YOUR BROTHERHOOD, SCARAMANTULA. 16 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,087 I CAME HERE IN A ROBOT! 17 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:49,007 THE ONLY REASON I'VE DEIGNED TO ALLY MY SUPERIOR MIND WITH 18 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:52,677 THIS SYNDICATE OF SMALLBRAINS IS TO EXACT REVENGE UPON 19 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,971 DR. VENTURE FOR STRANDING ME HERE 20 00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:56,514 IN 19-[BLEEP]-9! 21 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,849 >> WE'LL GET TO THAT. 22 00:00:57,932 --> 00:01:02,020 BUT FIRST WE MUST GIVE A WARM FRATERNITY OF TORMENT WELCOME 23 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,982 TO OUR NEWEST MEMBER, DR. FANGDRAGON. 24 00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:09,778 NO DOUBT YOUR SUPERNUMERARY NIPPLE MADE YOU A PARIAH 25 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:12,447 IN YOUR CHILDHOOD VILLAGE OF... 26 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,616 JAPAN-INOWA? 27 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:15,909 >> YES. 28 00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:18,369 THAT'S WHY I'M ALL EVIL NOW. 29 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:20,872 AND I HATE DR. VENTURE! 30 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,374 >> AS DO WE ALL, MY THOROUGHLY JAPANESE FRIEND, 31 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,085 WHO IS EASILY--EASILY-- SIX FOOT TWO. 32 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,421 BUT I HAVE A PLAN TO ELMINATE VENTURE 33 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,672 ONCE AND FOR ALL! 34 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,424 BEHOLD! 35 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,177 IF VENTURE DOES NOT SURRENDER TO US WITHIN THE HOUR, 36 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,597 WE WILL FEED HIS BOY TO MY RAVENOUS PIRAHNAS! 37 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,474 >> ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! 38 00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:40,767 >> FANTASTIC! 39 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,645 >> CLASSIC! I'LL BET I KNOW WHAT DR. VENTURE WILL SAY 40 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,313 WHEN HE GETS A LOAD OF THAT! 41 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:48,107 >> WHAT IS THAT, MY UNCHARACTERISTICALLY HIRSUTE 42 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,568 ASIAN COMRADE? 43 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,445 >> GO, TEAM VENTURE! 44 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,696 >> AH! 45 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,241 WHAT AH! 46 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:58,034 >> GO, TEAM VENTURE!!! 47 00:01:58,117 --> 00:01:59,410 >> NO, NO, NO! WAIT, WAIT! 48 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,539 AWE COME ON! 49 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:10,505 >> Gentleman: HAVE AT YOU! 50 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,632 HA! HA! 51 00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:16,344 >> [GRUNTING] 52 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:24,602 >> FUTURO! SQUASH THEM LIKE THE BUGS THEY ARE! 53 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,438 >> GO TEAM VENTURE! 54 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,861 >> ACTION! 55 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,320 ACTION! 56 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,280 ACTION! ACTION! 57 00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,447 ACTION! ACTION! ACTION! 58 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,074 >> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, RODNEY! 59 00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,075 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 60 00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:40,618 >> WHAT? I'M WINNING THE DAY! 61 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,495 >> TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH. 62 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,665 I MEAN, OOK- OOK IS A MINDLESS SAVAGE AND EVEN HE KNOWS WHEN 63 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:46,916 TO PULL HIS PUNCHES. 64 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,293 >> OOK! OOK! 65 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,627 >> MY CHEST HURTS. 66 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,462 [GROANS] MY TONGUE IS TOO BIG 67 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,714 FOR MY MOUTH. 68 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,340 >> TAKE FIVE, HUMONGLOID. 69 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,259 YOU'VE FOUGHT BRAVELY. 70 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,927 >> OH, YES YES. 71 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,471 [MUMBLING EXCITEDLY] >> [WOMAN ON PA SPEAKS 72 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:06,227 FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 73 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,729 >> WHAT THE DEVIL IS THAT? 74 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:08,688 >> ITALIAN! 75 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,815 IT'S A SELF-DESTRUCT COUNTDOWN. 76 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,650 >> AW, WHY THEY ALWAYS GOTTA PULL THAT? 77 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,110 >> FAN OUT, TEAM VENTURE! 78 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:17,447 WE'VE GOT TO FIND THAT BOMB! 79 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:22,493 [ELECTRICTY CRACKLES] >> HUH. FALSE ALARM. 80 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,578 >> SO... 81 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,039 YOU FELLAS THINK THAT CHAMPAGNE'S STILL COLD? 82 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:30,627 >> [LAUGHTER] >> SAY, DICKIE! 83 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:34,380 GET A PICTURE OF US IN OUR NEW HEADQUARTERS, WILL YA? 84 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,757 >> YOU BETCHA, DOC! 85 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,050 OKAY, EVERYONE! 86 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:41,304 SAY "GO, TEAM VENTURE!" >> GO TEAM VENTURE! 87 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:45,058 >> AND THAT'S HOW DAD CAPTURED SPIDER SKULL ISLAND... 88 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:48,019 AND SO I CAN THINK OF NO MORE FITTING HOME 89 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:53,066 FOR THE JONAS VENTURE JUNIOR MUSEUM OF JONAS VENTURE. 90 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,364 >> [MALE VOICES ARGUING] >> ALL RIGHT, SIMMER DOWN! 91 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,823 I'M WARNIN' YE! 92 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:06,162 IF YA DON'T QUIT YER BICKERIN', I'M TURNIN' THIS VESSEL AROUND! 93 00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:07,830 >> I REMEMBER... 94 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:08,748 WHEN... 95 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:13,002 THIS WAS ALL UNDER WATER. 96 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,171 >> IT'S ALWAYS SAD WHEN THAT HAPPENS. 97 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:18,967 >> A LITTLE SOUVENIR FROM ONE OF DAD'S VERY FIRST ADVENTURES. 98 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,344 THIS IS THE REAL "ATOMIC SECRET" 99 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:24,180 THE ROSENBERGS TRIED TO SELL TO THE RUSSIANS. 100 00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:26,265 >> [SLIGHT LAUGHTER] >> WILL YOU EXCUSE ME, 101 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,809 GENTLEMEN? 102 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:28,935 >> Both: HI, UNCLE J.J.! 103 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,061 >> HELLO, BOYS. 104 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,104 SAY, BROCK? 105 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,022 MY BARTENDER WHIPS UP A SHIRLEY TEMPLE 106 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,274 THAT'S OUT OF THIS WORLD! 107 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,984 MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE THE BOYS? 108 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,443 >> OH, YEAH, YEAH. SURE. 109 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,071 C'MON, BOYS LETS GO WET OUR NON-ALCOHOLIC WHISKERS. 110 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,030 >> SCORE! 111 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:41,990 >> YOU'RE LATE. 112 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,074 AND I TOLD YOU IT WAS BLACK TIE. 113 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,075 >> THIS IS. 114 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:46,035 >> THAT MEANS FORMAL EVENING DRESS. 115 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,746 NOT A SCOOBY-DOO PURPLE SUIT WITH A CLIP-ON 116 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,206 THAT HAPPENS TO BE BLACK! 117 00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:51,541 >> DEAN THOUGHT I LOOKED NICE. 118 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,209 >> WE'RE REPRESENTING DAD HERE! 119 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,544 SHOW SOME DIGNITY. 120 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,379 >> I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO MIND. 121 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,630 >> WELL I MIND! 122 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,215 PRACTICALLY EVERYONE DAD EVER WORKED WITH IS HERE. 123 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,550 >> GREAT. 124 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,885 I'M GONNA HAVE TO TALK TO THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS AGAIN?! 125 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,846 >> SIR, THERE'S A DISTURBANCE IN THE HANGAR. 126 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,098 >> I'M BUSY, TELL THE CAPTAIN TO TAKE CARE OF IT. 127 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,434 >> I BET YOU WONDERED HOW I MANAGED TO ESCAPE 128 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:13,396 ALL THOSE TIMES, OR HOW I KEPT MY TRIM FIGURE? 129 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:16,816 NOW ALL MY SECRETS ARE REVEALED AH! 130 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:20,069 [LAUGHTER] >> [HEAVY BREATHING] 131 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,114 >> GEEZ, YOU'D THINK HE COULD HAVE BUILT AN ELEVATOR IN HERE. 132 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:24,282 AN ESCALATOR. 133 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:25,241 A RAMP. 134 00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,284 ANYTHING. 135 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,579 >> HE ONCE BUILT A MACHINE, IT SPUN STEEL 136 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,831 LIKE SPIDER'S SILK. 137 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,208 BEAUTIFUL IN THE SUNLIGHT... 138 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,419 THE SILVERY WEB. 139 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,796 >> HO! TWO AT A TIME! 140 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,923 LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY! 141 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,469 COME ON, TEAM VENTURE, WINDED SO SOON? 142 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,470 >> I'M GONNA KILL HIM. 143 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,056 I SWEAR-- I GOT PLASTIC KNEES, 144 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,640 YOU SON OF A BITCH! 145 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:53,019 >> [CHAOTIC YELLING] 146 00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,151 >> RICHARD! YOU... 147 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,110 MADE IT. 148 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,946 >> H-HELLO, AGAIN, JONAS. 149 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:04,947 >> YAY! 150 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,616 SUPER-CAR! GO CAR! 151 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,951 >> I WON'T LET YOU KEEP HER, LITTLE MAN... 152 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:09,911 >> PARDON? 153 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,037 >> N-NOTHING. 154 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,373 >> [LAUGHS] IT'S ALL JUST LIKE IT WAS! 155 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,042 WONDERFUL! 156 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:19,670 >> [GROANING] >> WELCOME HOME TO SPIDER-SKULL 157 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,339 ISLAND, GENTLEMEN! 158 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,298 >> AH GEEZ! 159 00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:23,674 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?! 160 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:24,842 >> OH, HOW IMPOLITE OF ME. 161 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,844 I'M JONAS VENTURE JUNIOR. 162 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,763 I'LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR TABLE. 163 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,098 CAPTAIN? 164 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,892 COULDJA BE A PAL AND TELL SALLY THE PROFESSOR'S ARRIVED? 165 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,018 >> I...WHOO! 166 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,062 JUST GIMME A MINUTE HERE, WILL YA? 167 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,980 >> OH, AND TAKE NED WITH YOU, WOULDJA? 168 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,273 THANKS, CAP. 169 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,817 >> ALL RIGHT THERE, BIG FELLA. 170 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,444 TIME TA GET OUT OF THE FLYIN' CAR... 171 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,739 >> COME ON, NOW, NED, DON'T MAKE THIS -- 172 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,574 YARRR!!!! 173 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,909 >> HUMONGLOID! 174 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,494 LONG TIME NO SEE, PALLY! 175 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,578 >> FELLAS, THANK GOD. 176 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,455 LISTEN, DO ANY OF YOU NEED A ROOMMATE? 177 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,331 >> S'MATTER? 178 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,291 AIN'T THERE ENOUGH ROOM FOR YOU AT THE VENTURE COMPOUND? 179 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,752 >> [WRY LAUGH] THE COMPOUND'S FINE, BUT THOSE 180 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,088 KIDS KEEP TRYING TO FLUSH ME DOWN THE [bleep] TOILET! 181 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:03,798 THEY THINK I'M THE TY-D-BOL MAN. 182 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:06,342 >> YEAH, THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY THE BRIGHTEST BULBS 183 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,261 ON THE OL' MENORA. 184 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:11,973 >> [STRUGGLING] >> YES! 185 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:12,974 TOLD YA! 186 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:14,267 PAY UP! 187 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,477 >> HEY, THERE, MISS SALLY, THE CHAIRMAN ASKED ME TO -- 188 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,436 JEEPERS! 189 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,438 >> [SALLY SCREAMS] >> AAAAH!! 190 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,900 >> [CONTINUES SCREAMING] >> YAARRR!! 191 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,193 SORRY! SORRY. 192 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,863 GEEZ, THIS IS ALL KINDS OF UNCOMFORTABLE. 193 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,198 ON, LIKE, A COUPLE OF LEVELS HERE. 194 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,868 >> SO, UH, WHADDYA THINK? 195 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:32,869 PRETTY IMPRESSIVE SET-UP, HUH? 196 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,704 >> YEAH, IT'S ONLY MISSING ONE THING. 197 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:35,913 >> CHICKS? 198 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,123 NOT-DEFORMED GUYS? 199 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,417 >> I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT -- WHO WAS, FOR 43 YEARS, 200 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:42,044 THE ONLY SON OF DR. JONAS VENTURE? 201 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:46,215 WHO, FROM THE AGES OF 3 TO 17, ACCOMPANIED HIM ON HUNDREDS OF 202 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,051 ADVENTURES, THE CHILLING MEMORIES OF WHICH ROUSE HIM 203 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,220 FROM SLEEP IN A COLD SWEAT TO THIS DAY? 204 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,889 >> OH, SPEAKING OF WHICH, DIDJA GET A LOOK AT THE ICE 205 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,307 SCULPTURE AT THE BAR? 206 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,434 >> YEAH, I GOT ONE JUST LIKE IT IN BRONZE ON MY FRONT LAWN. 207 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,351 WHY? 208 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,686 >> YEAH, YOU SHOULD EH... 209 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:02,148 GO CHECK IT OUT. 210 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,191 >> HELLO, RICHARD. 211 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,192 >> SALLY. 212 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,276 I, EH... 213 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:06,944 >> DID YOU BRING THE DIVORCE PAPERS? 214 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,614 >> I...THINK I LEFT THEM IN MY OTHER S-SUIT. 215 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,032 >> DAMMIT, RICHARD. 216 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,200 NEVER MIND. 217 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,952 I HAVE A COPY UPSTAI-- >> WAIT! 218 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,412 TAKE ME BACK, SALLY. 219 00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:17,622 >> RICHARD, NO. 220 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:18,915 WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS. 221 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:19,916 >> I WORKED TOO MUCH. 222 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,126 I REALIZE THAT, NOW. 223 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,837 I-I-I'M LEARNING TO HAVE MORE F-FUN. 224 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,006 SEE, LOOK? 225 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,383 HEY, HEY! 226 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,637 >> PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, RICHARD, YOU'RE A MESS. 227 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,807 >> MY...ER... GIRLFRIEND LIKES MY HAIR THIS WAY. 228 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,184 SHE'S YOUNG, AND, EH... 229 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,936 WE'RE GETTING A BOAT! 230 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:44,023 NO, THAT'S A LIE. 231 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:47,818 YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. 232 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:52,198 >> [SIGHS] GIMME ANOTHER DOUBLE SIDECAR. 233 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,283 >> NO, NO, NO, PAULO! 234 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,077 THE CANAPES COME OUT NOW. 235 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,954 >> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU INVITED HIM! 236 00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:58,746 >> WHAT? 237 00:08:58,829 --> 00:08:59,705 WHO, RICHARD? 238 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:00,957 HE WAS IN THE BOYS' BRIGADE! 239 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,708 >> [LAUGHTER] >> NED! NO! 240 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:03,709 NO, NED, NO! 241 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,919 >> CAPTAIN! 242 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,421 DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT! 243 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,131 I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU. 244 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,342 >> MAN-HOWDY, YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED IT! 245 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,679 FRIDAY NIGHT, WE'D FLY DOWN TO CUBA, ARCH CASTRO FOR A COUPLE 246 00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:17,682 OF HOURS, THEN SWING UP TO THE WHITE HOUSE FOR "DEBRIEFING"-- 247 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,017 WHICH WAS JACK'S CODE FOR ONE OF HIS LEGENDARY 248 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,310 POOL PARTIES. 249 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,563 'ROUND 2:00, WE'D JET OVER TO VEGAS IN TIME TO CATCH 250 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,315 FRANK'S LAST SHOW AT THE SANDS! 251 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,735 THEN BINGO-BONGO, DOWN TO COCOA BEACH TO WHOOP IT UP 252 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,320 WITH THE MERCURY GUYS. 253 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,613 WHAT A PISSER! 254 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,656 >> HEY, WHAT'S THAT GUY'S STORY? 255 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:34,865 HE ONE OF YOU, TOO? 256 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,660 >> NAH, THAT'S BRAINULO, ONE OF OUR OLD NEMESES. 257 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,663 'CLAIMED HE WAS SOME KINDA SUPER-GENIUS FROM THE FUTURE, 258 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,622 I DON'T KNOW. 259 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,332 SUPER-SENILE NOW IF YOU ASK ME. 260 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,543 >> OH. MY. GOD. 261 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,670 YOU'RE THE ACTION MAN, AREN'T YOU?! 262 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,046 >> ACTION!!! 263 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,089 >> THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! 264 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:51,632 CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH? 265 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,092 >> SURE THING, VENTUROO. 266 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,260 WHO DO I MAKE IT OUT TO? 267 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,511 >> HOLY CRAP, YOU'RE ALL HERE! 268 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:57,847 MAN, I DON'T KNOW IF I BROUGHT ENOUGH-- WHITE! 269 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,890 HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU? 270 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,100 >> YOU TOLD ME IT WAS OPEN BAR! 271 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:01,976 >> WHAT'RE YOU GUYS CHARGING? 272 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,102 10? 20? 273 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,687 >> NO, SON, WE-- >> WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK? 274 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,896 PLEASE?! 275 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,399 I'M A FRIEND OF RUSTY'S! 276 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,196 >> NED, NO! 277 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,282 LEAVE HIM BE AND PUT YER PANTS ON. 278 00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,867 YER MAKIN' PEOPLE SICK! 279 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,785 SORRY THERE, FELLA. 280 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,911 HEY, COME BACK HERE! 281 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,874 >> YOU WERE TRYING TO COMMAND FUTURO! 282 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,459 >> A-ARE YOU MY MOMMY? 283 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,961 >> STOP FAKING, YOU'RE NOT SENILE, I SAW YOU! 284 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,171 >> ALL RIGHT, FINE. 285 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,547 NOW BE QUIET ABOUT IT! 286 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:34,592 I WANT TO LULL THE PUNY-MINDED VENTURES INTO A FALSE SENSE OF 287 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:39,055 SECURITY, THAT I MAY STRIKE WHEN THEY LEAST EXPECT IT! 288 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,306 >> CAN I HELP YOU? 289 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,725 I HATE WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO THIS ROOM. 290 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:43,642 >> VERY WELL. 291 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,687 TONIGHT, THE FRATERNITY OF TORMENT 292 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,231 WILL HAVE ITS REVENGE! 293 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,323 >> GO, TEAM VENTURE! 294 00:10:57,406 --> 00:11:01,077 >> OH, THOSE DIABOLICAL SONS OF BITCHES! 295 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,412 >> NO, NO, SEE -- THERE'S FOUR HERE, 296 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,915 THE EYEBROWS ARE FIVE AND SIX, AND THE MOUSTACHE, 297 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,083 SHE MAKES EIGHT LEGS. 298 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,042 EH? SEE? 299 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,126 TARANTULA... 300 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,544 SCARAMANTULA! 301 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:11,629 >> OHHH. 302 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,923 GOD, I ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT THAT. THANKS! 303 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,091 COULD YOU SIGN IT, TOO? 304 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,176 YOU WERE LIKE MY FAVORITE VILLAIN EVER. 305 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,135 NO OFFENSE. 306 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,595 IT'S A BIG HEAD THING. 307 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:20,763 >> VANISH! 308 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,015 THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL VENGEANCE?! 309 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:26,143 >> IT'S KILLING THEM OUR LINE IS LONGER THAN THEIRS! 310 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,978 LOOK HOW THEY KEEP LOOKING OVER! 311 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,438 OH! 312 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,940 >> OH, HEY, RUSTY! 313 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,817 FOR YOU, NO CHARGE! 314 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,319 >> I JUST CAME BY TO SAY HOW GLAD I AM YOU WERE ALL 315 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,863 ABLE TO MAKE IT OUT TO GORGE YOURSELVES 316 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,116 ON FREE SHRIMP IN MY FATHER'S HONOR. 317 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,451 >> OKAY, DOC-- >> TOO BAD YOUR OLD PAL 318 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,788 COLONEL GENTLEMAN COULDN'T BE HERE TO BASK IN THE GLORY 319 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,374 WITH YOU-- OH...OR DID YOU GUYS 320 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:52,461 GET HIM KILLED, TOO? 321 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,964 >> [gasps] IT'S THE GHOST OF COLONEL GENTLEMAN! 322 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,383 >> THAT'S FOR BREAKING MY STEPDAUGHTER'S HEART! 323 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,093 >> HEY, HEY, NOW... 324 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,303 >> DON'T TRY IT, PRINCE ADAM! 325 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,389 THIS OLD PANTHER'S STILL GOT MOVES THAT'LL MAKE YOUR 326 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:04,348 MULLET SPIN! 327 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,350 >> BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. 328 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,476 >> NONSENSE, I'M AN OX! 329 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,562 >> BUT WE POKED YOU AND EVERYTHING. 330 00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,105 >> OH, THAT WAS YOU? 331 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:14,316 KIKI TOLD ME SOMEONE HAD BEEN IN THE FLAT WHILE HE WAS GONE... 332 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,861 WE'D HAD OUR ROWS BEFORE, BUT I'D NEVER SEEN HIM 333 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,112 LIKE THAT. 334 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,490 A TAUT, BROWN SPITFIRE-- STRAFING ME WITH RECRIMINATION 335 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,159 AND MUMSY'S CHINA. 336 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,995 WHEN HE WALKED OUT MY DOOR, I THOUGHT "THIS TIME, 337 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:26,996 YOU'VE DONE IT, GENTLEMAN. 338 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,331 HE'S LEFT YOU FOR GOOD." 339 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,877 SO I BURIED MY GRIEF IN AN ENTIRE BOX OF MALOMARS-- 340 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,588 WITH A YOOHOO CHASER! 341 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,548 WELL, YOU BOYS MUST HAVE HAPPENED UPON ME 342 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,509 WHILST I WAS IN THE THROES OF A DIABETIC COMA. 343 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,635 >> OHH. 344 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,180 >> THANKFULLY, KIKI SOON CAME TO HIS SENSES 345 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,307 AND HE CRAWLED BACK TO THE BEST [bleep] DAMN THING 346 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:49,685 THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM... 347 00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:53,731 [INHALES SHARPLY] KIKI! 348 00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:54,857 YOU'VE COME BACK TO ME! 349 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,984 >> KIKI IS SO SORRY, MASTER GENTLEMAN. 350 00:12:57,067 --> 00:13:00,488 >> THAT'S FOR GIVIN' ME A COMA, YA FICKLE PONCE! 351 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:01,572 GET UP!!! 352 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,574 I WAS IN DESPERATE NEED OF A GOOD WORKOUT. 353 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:04,783 GAW! 354 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,243 BLASTED MALOMARS... 355 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,786 MY TITS ARE BACK! 356 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,707 AND A FEW POPPERS LATER, KIKI GAVE ME ONE, BY GOD. 357 00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:15,461 AND A THOUSAND SWEAT-SOAKED SILENT SORRIES LATER, 358 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:18,506 WE WERE BACK TOGETHER. 359 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:23,844 ANYWAY, YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT MY MEMOIRS... 360 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:27,056 >> [WHIMPERING] >> WATCH OUT! 361 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,265 INCOMING FROG MEN! 362 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,391 >> WOW. 363 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:33,145 >> PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THE DISPLAYS. 364 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,230 >> SAM IN A SWEATER. 365 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:35,689 EXTRA ICE. 366 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:36,732 WAY TO BODYGUARD. 367 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:38,984 >> WELL, HE WASN'T TRYIN' TO KILL YA, 368 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,194 SO TECHNICALLY... 369 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:41,278 >> YOU BOYS ENJOYING THE PARTY? 370 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,238 >> OH DON'T YOU EVEN--! 371 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:43,948 >> EVERYTHING'S GREAT, J.J. 372 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,199 YOU REALLY OUTDID YOURSELF. 373 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,367 >> GREAT, GREAT. 374 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,536 SAY, CAN I BORROW HIM FOR A MINUTE? 375 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,579 THERE'S THIS PICTURE I'M JUST DYING TO GET 376 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,582 WHILE EVERYONE'S HERE-- >> J.J. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 377 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,000 NOW. 378 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,085 >> LISTEN, CAN IT WAIT, HON'? 379 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,211 >> NO, IT CANNOT WAIT! 380 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,255 YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING ME THE ENTIRE NIGHT! 381 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,590 YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE INVITING RICHARD, AND NOW 382 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,592 HE'S-- >> YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY UPSET 383 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,636 AND I WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOU, FUNNYFACE. 384 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:08,097 JUST HOLD THAT THOUGHT AND I'LL BE BACK IN A MO'. 385 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,848 [chuckles] PROMISE. 386 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:14,603 >> [GRUNTS] >> I-I CAN'T BELIEVE 387 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,189 YOU SLEPT WITH KILLER MANJARO. 388 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,148 I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS... 389 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:18,774 AH. 390 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:19,733 >> NEITHER DID HE. 391 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,777 TILL THE DAY HE TRIED TO AMBUSH ME IN THE MIDDLE 392 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:25,030 OF A THREESOME WITH GORE VIDAL AND WALLY SCHIRRA! 393 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,074 >> HEY FELLAS, IF I COULD GET YOU ALL TO GATHER 394 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,368 IN THE NEXT ROOM FOR A MOMENT, I'D LIKE TO--W-WHAT IS THIS? 395 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,203 ARE YOU SELLING AUTOGRAPHS? 396 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,705 >> LIKE GANGBUSTERS! 397 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,249 WE MADE TABLE MONEY IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES! 398 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,586 >> Y-YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE-- YOU'RE CHEAPENING THE MEMORY... 399 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,505 >> LISTEN, POT NOODLE, WE ARE THE MEMORY, OKAY? 400 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:45,467 NOW I SAW YOUR "SUGGESTED DONATION" BOX ON THE WAY IN. 401 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,845 SO UNLESS YOU'RE GIVING US A CUT OF THE DOOR, I SUGGEST 402 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:51,056 YOU GO ROUST SPIDERMAN AND THE GREAT GAZOO OVER THERE. 403 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,308 >> LOOK AT THEM! 404 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:57,021 RATTING US OUT TO THE MAN, COWARDS. 405 00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:59,064 >> INCOMPETENT FOOL! 406 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,109 THE MAN SHOULD WEAR A RUBBER ASS ON HIS FACE INSTEAD! 407 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,029 BUT WHY ALLY MYSELF WITH SCARA-MENTAL-CASE WHEN THERE'S 408 00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:07,823 PLENTY OF EVIL TO WORK WITH RIGHT HERE IN THIS ROOM? 409 00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:11,827 THIS ENTIRE MUSEUM IS A PSYCHIC POWDER KEG! 410 00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:15,080 ALL I NEED DO IS LIGHT THE MATCH! 411 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,248 YOU... 412 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,500 WANT THOSE, DON'T YOU? 413 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,669 TAKE THEM! 414 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,298 SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE AND SHE SHAN'T AGAIN. 415 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,216 FEEL THE BURN! 416 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,177 >> YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHIN', CAPTAIN! 417 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,345 NOT FOR NUTHIN', BUT... 418 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,221 HE'S DRIVIN' US UP A FRIGGIN' WALL HERE! 419 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:34,725 >> 800 NAPKINS, AND HE MAKES ME RE-FOLD EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. 420 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,102 "I TOLD YOU TRIANGLES," HE SAYS. 421 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,146 >> AND IT'S THE WAY HE TELLS YA STUFF. 422 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:42,149 LIKE HE'S SAYIN' IT ALL NICE, BUT THEN HE'S REALLY 423 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:45,027 STICKING IT TO YA, LIKE, BETWEEN THE LINES. 424 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,529 >> LOOK, BELIEVE ME, I HEAR YA, LITTLE JOE. 425 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,907 BUT THE CHAIRMAN'S BEEN GOOD TO ALL OF US. 426 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,868 HE'S JUST UNDER A LOTTA STRESS RIGHT NOW WITH THE OPENIN'. 427 00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:54,620 >> THINGS WAS BETTER BEFORE. 428 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,538 THINGS WAS BETTER WHEN YOU WAS OUR LEADER. 429 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,333 >> WE WAS STUCK IN THE SARGASSUM FOR TEN YEARS. 430 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,126 >> YEAH, BUT WE WAS FREE! 431 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,378 WE WAS PIRATES! 432 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,339 NOW WE'RE NUTHIN' BUT A BUNCHA TRAINED MONKEYS. 433 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:07,716 AND HE'S MADE YOU THE BIGGEST MONKEY OF ALL. 434 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,717 NO DISRESPECT. 435 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,843 >> Jonas: CAPTAIN? 436 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,887 CAPTAIN, WHERE DID YOU GET OFF TO? 437 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,889 WE'RE TAKING THE PICTURE! 438 00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,265 ALRIGHT. 439 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,392 YOU GOT IT, HECTOR? 440 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,602 OKAY, COME ON IN HERE, SWIFT'! 441 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:19,728 >> WHERE DO YOU WANT ME? 442 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,231 >> OH, I FORGOT, YOU WEREN'T IN THE ORIGINAL. 443 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,273 YOU WANT TO TAKE IT? 444 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,692 I SEEM TO HAVE LOST MY CAPTAIN. 445 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:25,943 >> I'M RIGHT HERE, DAMN IT. 446 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,903 >> GUESS I DON'T NEED YOU AFTER ALL, RUST. 447 00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:31,573 CAPTAIN'S A HECKUVA SHUTTERBUG, THOUGH NOT A VERY PUNCTUAL ONE. 448 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,909 >> OH YAH, YA GOT THE SHUTTER SPEED SET 449 00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:35,077 WAY TOO LOW THERE. 450 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,161 >> WAIT, SOMEONE'S MISSING. 451 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,996 OOK-OOK! 452 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:38,956 CAPTAIN! 453 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:40,249 COME AND BE OUR OOK-OOK. 454 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,668 >> YA COULD PHOTOSHOP'M IN LATER... 455 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,336 >> COME ON, IT'LL BE FUN! 456 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,171 >> AW, GEEZ... 457 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:46,922 YA MIND, RUSTY? 458 00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,173 >> RICHARD! 459 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,091 YOU SHOULD TAKE IT. 460 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,968 YOU TOOK THE ORIGINAL-- HOW PERFECT! 461 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,262 >> O-OKAY. 462 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:54,430 >> OH, OH WAIT, CAP. 463 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,432 TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF AND SLOUCH. 464 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,725 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A CAVEMAN! 465 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:58,934 >> NO! 466 00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:01,770 I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH TH-- >> COME ON, BE A SPORT. 467 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,855 IT'LL BE RIOT! 468 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:05,315 >> LOOK, YER PUSHIN' ME BUTTONS NOW, CHAIRMAN. 469 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,025 I'VE HAD ABOUT ALLS I CAN TAKE! 470 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:10,487 YA BEEN RUNNIN' ME RAGGED ALL DAY AND I'M TIRED A'BEIN' 471 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,448 YER DANGBLASTED TRAINED MONKEY! 472 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,490 EH! 473 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,118 >> THAT'S FOR CALLIN' OOK-OOK A MONKEY! 474 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,703 >> FELLERS? 475 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:18,787 YOU WERE RIGHT. 476 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,790 NOW WHO FEELS LIKE BEIN' A PIRATE AGAIN?! 477 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,042 >> [CHEERING] 478 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,965 >> KHE SAN, 1970. 479 00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,301 YOU STILL HEAR THE CRIES OF THE CHILDREN AS YOU BURNED 480 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,302 THEIR VILLAGE. 481 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,053 WORK WITH THAT! 482 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,805 YOU... 483 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,140 FANTASIZE ABOUT... 484 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,349 CONQUERING ... 485 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,226 THE MOTHER FROM GROWING PAINS?! 486 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,145 >> AW, YEAH, THAT EPISODE WHERE THEY SHOWED HER 487 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,062 IN THE BATHTUB--? 488 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,981 UH WHA, EH. 489 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:48,150 >> SALLY! 490 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,109 >> YES! 491 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,444 HERE WE GO. 492 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,738 >> SALLY! 493 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,408 I DID IT ALL FOR YOU, SALLY. 494 00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:01,538 HOO -- OH. 495 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,666 >> [PIRATES YELLING] >> [NED GROANING] 496 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,626 DON'T FIGHT! 497 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:06,877 DON'T FIGHT LITTLE MAN! 498 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,670 >> THIS IS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE "THINGS," ISN'T IT? 499 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,963 >> HMM? 500 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,840 >> I MEAN, YOU GET A BUNCH OF SHORTFUSED, COSTUMED IDIOTS 501 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,009 TOGETHER IN ONE ROOM LIKE THIS, AND WHAT DO YOU THINK'S 502 00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:15,177 GONNA HAPPEN? 503 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,346 ANY MINUTE NOW, SUTFF'S GONNA START BLOWING UP, 504 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,723 GUYS'LL BE THROWING EACH OTHER INTO OTHER GUYS. 505 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:20,557 >> YEAH. PROBABLY. 506 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,934 >> HUH. 507 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,852 YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE NOT THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL 508 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,563 FOR ONCE, IT'S ACTUALLY TOTALLY, COMPLETELY OBVIOUS. 509 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,523 >> UH-HUH. 510 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,982 WELCOME TO MY LIFE. 511 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:34,571 >> [GIGGLING] >> BOYS! 512 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,031 C'MON, WE'RE GOING. 513 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,866 >> AHOY THERE!!! 514 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,576 LISTEN UP, ALL OF YA! 515 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,079 WE'RE TAKIN' THIS SHIP! 516 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,247 YAR! 517 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,706 >> YO HO, HO! 518 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,707 >> JINKY! 519 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,835 IT'S PIRATES! 520 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:51,463 GO, TEAM VENTURE! 521 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,801 [BLOWS LANDING, GRUNTING] 522 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,223 >> WEEE! 523 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,058 WEEE! 524 00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:04,017 >> YES! 525 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,227 YES! 526 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,895 DANCE, MY PUPPETS! 527 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,439 DANCE! 528 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,529 >> Jonas: I NEVER MET MY FATHER. 529 00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:18,282 ALL OF MY MEMORIES OF HIM COME FROM THESE OLD FILMS, 530 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:21,994 THE ITEMS ON DISPLAY HERE AT THE JONAS VENTURE JUNIOR 531 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,247 MUSEUM OF JONAS VENTURE, AND THE ANECDOTES THAT YOU, 532 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,417 THOSE CLOSEST TO HIM, HAVE BEEN KIND ENOUGH 533 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,918 TO SHARE WITH ME... 534 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,587 >> NO! NO! 535 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,922 YOU WON'T DEFEAT ME AGAIN, VENTURE! 536 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,675 STRIKE THEM DOWN, MY COLOSSAL METAL FRIEND! 537 00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:40,345 NOW, WHILE THEIR UNDERDEVELOPED BRAINS ARE DRUNK ON SACCHARINE 538 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:40,929 SENTIMENTALITY! 539 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,139 >> DR. VENTURE. 540 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:45,726 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY WAS YOUR GREATEST ADVENTURE, 541 00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:49,396 AND, EH, PARENTHETICALLY EH, WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST INVENTION? 542 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:52,065 >> WELL, DICK, THOSE ARE BOTH EXCELLENT QUESTIONS. 543 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:55,527 BUT I'M AFRAID I ONLY HAVE ONE ANSWER -- 544 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,279 MY SON. 545 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,489 >> AWWWW. 546 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,617 >> CAPTAIN? 547 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,243 THE HOUSE LIGHTS... 548 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,120 PLEASE? 549 00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:06,955 >> YOU GOT IT, CHAIRMAN. 550 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:10,375 >> WELL, IT SEEMS MY FATHER STILL HAS MUCH TO TEACH US. 551 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:14,296 WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I BUILT THE JONAS VENTURE JUNIOR 552 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,964 MUSEUM OF JONAS VENTURE. 553 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:20,469 TO SPREAD DAD'S MESSAGE OF HOPE, LOVE AND SUPER-SCIENCE. 554 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:24,306 AND NOW, IF I MAY, I'D LIKE TO ASK MY BROTHER 555 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,224 TO SAY A FEW WORDS. 556 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,144 RUSTY? 557 00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,604 >> BUT IT'S A MELEE! 558 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:31,730 YOU LIVE FOR THAT CRAP! 559 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,315 >> I'M YOUR BODYGUARD. 560 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,650 NOT YOUR BROTHER'S. 561 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,318 HE CAN PUT OUT HIS OWN FIRES. 562 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:37,486 >> COME ON! 563 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,321 MOVE, DAMN YOU! 564 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,280 JUST... 565 00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,573 LIFT ONE FOOT FOR ME... 566 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,158 STEP ON SOMEONE. 567 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:44,326 ANYONE! 568 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,827 WORK WITH ME HERE! 569 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,956 [STRAINING] [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 570 00:20:55,587 --> 00:21:00,342 [ALARM BLARES] [WOMAN ON PA SPEAKING ITALIAN] 571 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:01,343 >> WOW. 572 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:06,932 GOOD CALL. 573 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,309 >> [MUTTERING] >> THAT WAS TOTALLY WORTH 574 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,561 CRAPPING MYSELF IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. 575 00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:14,231 >> [STAMMERS] OH SCREW IT, LETS GO! 576 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,817 WE COME BACK TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY! 577 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,568 [GRUNTING] 578 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,780 >> WAIT, BROCK. DON'T. 579 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:22,781 WE HAVE TO GO BACK. 580 00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:23,740 >> WHAAAT? 581 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:24,741 >> HE'S FAMILY, BROCK. 582 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,743 AND... HE'S IN TROUBLE. 583 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,203 HE NEEDS US. 584 00:21:28,286 --> 00:21:29,079 >> PFF! 585 00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:29,913 GET THE [bleep] OUTTA HERE. 586 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,164 >> HA HA! 587 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,834 HAD YOU GOIN' FOR A MINUTE, THERE, DIDN'T I? HUH? 588 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:34,793 HAD YOU GOIN'! 589 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:36,503 >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 590 00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:39,172 >> Woman on PA: DUE... 591 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,550 UNO... 592 00:21:51,643 --> 00:22:01,528 captioning provided by Turner Studios 593 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:21,131 >> [STRUGGLING, COUGHING] >> OH, RICHARD, THAT WAS 594 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:24,301 ONE OF THE MOST SELFLESS THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN. 595 00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,719 THANK YOU... 596 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:26,928 >> YES, THANK YOU, RICHARD. 597 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:32,476 AND YOU'RE WELCOME IN OUR HOME ANY TIME. 598 00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:33,977 >> TELL THE TRUTH. 599 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:36,521 YOU WAS JUST TRYIN' TO KILL YOURSELF, WEREN'T YA?