1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,714 Torrid: I CONJURE AND CONSTRAIN THEE! 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,590 DEMONS OF THE EQUAL SPHERE! 3 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,301 CREATURES OF A SECOND WORLD! 4 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,972 ENTER MY CIRCLE AND DO MY WILL! 5 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:16,141 FOR I COMMAND THIS! 6 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,268 TORRID'S A DICK. WHO DOES THAT? 7 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:19,811 WHO OPENS UP HELL? HONESTLY. 8 00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,646 IF TORRID GETS THE PORTAL OPEN WE'RE DONE FOR. 9 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:24,566 ONCE THE SECOND WORLD COMES THROUGH, 10 00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,276 WE HAVEN'T THE POWER TO STOP THEM. 11 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,485 I GOTTA BE HONEST, I'M SCARED. 12 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,572 I'M AT LIKE A NINE SCARED. NINE POINT THREE, MAYBE. 13 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:31,573 WE SHOULD ALL BE AT TEN! 14 00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:32,866 THERE ISN'T A SORCERER ALIVE WHO HAS THE ABILITY 15 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,994 TO FIGHT THE DENIZENS OF THE SECOND WORLD... 16 00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,078 I'M A TEN. 17 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,663 IF ORPHEUS IS GOING BO DERRICK, 18 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,331 THEN I'M PUSHING IT UP TO EIGHT. 19 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,458 I ADMIRE YOUR BRAVERY. 20 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,543 NOW ARE YOU READY TO WAGE OUR FINAL BATTLE? 21 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:46,087 WHAT? HELL NO. I HAVE ONE MORE THING TO TRY. 22 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:49,090 STOP BEING A PUD! KNOCK IT OFF, YA DINGBAT! 23 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,677 NOBODY WANTS YOU TO OPEN A DOOR TO HELL! 24 00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,434 NOOO! 25 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,603 I COMMAND THEE! NOOO! 26 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,521 PLEASE! AAAAHHHH! 27 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,441 SOMETHING JUST CAME OUT OF THE VORTEX AND KILLED TORRID. 28 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:09,235 SO... THAT HAPPENED. 29 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,070 THE TIME IS NOW! 30 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,447 TRIAD, JOIN ME! 31 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,532 FOR I AM DR. ORPHEUS! 32 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,284 MASTER OF MYSTICISM! 33 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:19,120 I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT INTRODUCING OURSELVES BIT. 34 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:22,499 IT'S GOOFY. LET'S NOT DIE BEING GOOFY. 35 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:23,666 I'M WITH AL. 36 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,918 MAYBE WE COULD SING A STEVIE WONDER SONG TOGETHER? 37 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:26,961 YEAH, THAT'S NOT MUCH BETTER. 38 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,631 TRIAD! ATTACK! 39 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:31,841 [ ALL SCREAMING ] 40 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,469 [ SCREAMS ] 41 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:38,598 [ GRUNTING ] 42 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:39,516 Orpheus: ARE YOU OKAY?! 43 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,393 I'M PRETTY SURE THAT ALL MY RIBS ARE BROKEN! 44 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,228 CAN SOMEONE HELP!? 45 00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:47,023 HARISTUM, LEND ME YOUR POWER OF FIRE! 46 00:01:50,109 --> 00:01:52,195 NICE! YOU MADE IT BIGGER. 47 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:57,325 FORGET HIM. SHOOT ME! KILL ME! 48 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:59,202 [ HORSE NEIGHS ] 49 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,210 BACK TO THE DEPTH FROM WHICH YOU CAME! 50 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,097 [ GROANS ] 51 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,099 HE WAS JUST DEAD. 52 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,684 HE'LL BE FINE. 53 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,270 TILL THE NEXT TIME, GENTLEMEN. 54 00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,689 BLACK LIGHTNING! RIDE! 55 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,149 CALL ME! 56 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,609 "CALL ME"? WHAT WAS THAT? INSTINCT? 57 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:32,527 HE'S ADORABLE. I PANICKED. 58 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,695 WHO WAS THAT GUY? 59 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,865 THAT GUY WAS THE OUTRIDER. 60 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,576 OH MY GOD! THAT'S THE GUY WHO -- 61 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:44,539 STOLE MY WIFE! 62 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,379 Hank: DID UNCLE GENTLEMAN DIE AGAIN? 63 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:52,171 WHAT'S WITH THE SUIT? 64 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,549 NOTHING. IS IT ILLEGAL TO LOOK GOOD? 65 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:55,383 YEAH, IN THIS HOUSE IT KINDA IS. 66 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,885 YOU THINK I LIKE WEARING A PRISON PAJAMAS 67 00:02:56,968 --> 00:03:00,305 WITH POSITION LOCATORS SEWN INTO THEM? 68 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,097 YES. 69 00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:01,806 THAT'S BECAUSE I LOOK GOOD IN THEM! 70 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,850 BUT IF YOU ARE GONNA WEAR THAT, 71 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,226 THERE IS A LITTLE APPOINTMENT I'D LIKE TO MAKE TO MINE. 72 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:08,146 SO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TRIANA AND HER FATHER 73 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,189 PILING UP CRAP ON OUR FRONT LAWN? 74 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,234 OH, IS SHE OUT THERE TOO? 75 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,235 DEAN. DEANO. 76 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,070 WHEN ARE YOU JUST GONNA ADMIT IT? 77 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,070 ADMIT WHAT? 78 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,782 ADMIT THAT I CAN STILL ROCK A KERCHIEF! 79 00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,379 SCORE? 80 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,130 85%. 81 00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,465 GET OUT! WHERE DID I BLOW IT? 82 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,258 FOR ONE, YOU KILLED MATTHEW LESKO. 83 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,801 THAT WAS-- WELL HE WAS WEARING PUNCTUATION ON HIS SUIT! 84 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,261 THAT'S A TOTAL BAD-GUY SUIT! 85 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,932 HE HELPS PEOPLE GET FREE MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT. 86 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,308 THAT IS A GOOD GUY. 87 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,601 IT'S REFLECTED IN YOUR SCORE. 88 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,186 WHAT'S THE USE IN TRAINING? I HAVE NO MAGIC POWERS! 89 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:51,105 THE SECOND SOMEONE USES MAGIC, I GET KILLED. 90 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,398 THAT WAS HUMBLING FOR ALL OF US. 91 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,067 IT WAS LIKE HE PULLED DOWN OUR PANTS AND POWDERED OUR BOTTOMS. 92 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,902 HUMILIATING. HE BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE. 93 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:58,404 I'M SERIOUS. I SAW MY DEAD MOM. 94 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,491 AND SHE WAS ALL "JEFFERSON, HEAD INTO THE LIGHT." 95 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,451 AND I WAS LIKE "I CAN'T MOM, I HAVE TO STAY HERE 96 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,954 AND GET MY ASS KICKED BY A GUY MADE OUTTA FIRE." 97 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,997 THANK GOD THAT OUTRIDER GUY WAS THERE. 98 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:08,247 DON'T LET ORPHEUS HEAR THAT. 99 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,460 IF YOU'D A' TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA HAVE A YARD-SALE, 100 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,171 I WOULD'VE BROUGHT DEAN'S EVER GROWING COLLECTION OF APPLE HEAD DOLLS. 101 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:16,965 IT'S NOT A YARD-SALE. 102 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:21,469 THIS CONFIGURATION IS A PORTAL TO THE SECOND WORLD! 103 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,471 SURE IT IS. 104 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:25,598 I DON'T GET IT. IT'S AN EGO THING. 105 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,308 MY DAD THINKS THAT IF THE OUTRIDER 106 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:28,142 CAN TRAVEL THROUGH HELL, HE CAN TOO. 107 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,687 ISN'T THE OUTRIDER MARRIED TO YOUR MOM? 108 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,689 YEAH. I ONLY MET HIM ONCE. I WAS EIGHT. 109 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,565 IF I WAS YOUR DAD, AND YOU WERE YOUR MOM, 110 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,609 AND THE YOU THAT WASN'T YOUR MOM WAS ANOTHER GIRL, 111 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,445 I WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE TAKE THE YOU-MOM. 112 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,197 THAT WOULD BE REALLY SWEET... 113 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,573 IF IT WASN'T SO CONFUSING. 114 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,199 I'M SORRY. 115 00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,076 OOH! CAN I PET YOUR PUSSY? 116 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,411 THERE IS NO IRONY IN THAT, IS THERE? 117 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,414 IT'S SOFT. 118 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:50,331 YOUR PUSSY HATES ME. 119 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,626 DID ORPHEUS OPEN THE RIDICULOUS PILE OF CRAP 120 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:54,961 HE CALLS A PORTAL YET? 121 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:55,670 IS THAT WHAT THAT IS? 122 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,797 OH, HEY. CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? 123 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,340 YOU'RE GAY RIGHT? 124 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,092 YEAH. WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE? 125 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,553 DOES IT LOOK REAL, OR ALL FRANKENSTEIN? 126 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,430 HANK? 127 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,430 YOUR DINGUS. DOES IT LOOK REAL? 128 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,181 WHAT IS KID-CRAZY TALKING ABOUT? 129 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,516 HE THINKS YOU'RE TRANS GENDER. 130 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:11,227 HANK, IT LOOKS REAL BECAUSE IT IS REAL. 131 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,061 I'M GAY. 132 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,104 THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WAS BORN A WOMAN. 133 00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,356 I HAVE A REGULAR"DINGUS" AS YOU SAY. 134 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,108 HANK, AREN'T YOU JUST A LITTLE ASHAMED 135 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,193 OF YOUR IGNORANCE? LIKE JUST A LITTLE? 136 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,695 YEAH. CONSTANTLY. 137 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,864 O THOU GREAT AND POWERFUL AMAYMON, 138 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,407 I INVOKE AND COMMAND THEE 139 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:29,287 TO OPEN THESE GATES TO THE SECOND WORLD! 140 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,040 MAYBE YOU FORGOT TO PLUG IT IN. 141 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,541 SOMETHING HAS COME THROUGH! 142 00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:34,917 OH COME ON! 143 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,045 AND DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT? 144 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:40,173 IS THE WHOLE OF THIS WORLD YOUR PERSONAL BATHROOM? 145 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,758 IT WAS SIMBA... 146 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:42,800 SHE'S OKAY. 147 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,886 IT'S MY CAT. SHE'S FROM THIS WORLD. 148 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,596 WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN? 149 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:47,555 MY MOM CALLS HIS CELL PHONE 150 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,390 AND TELLS HIM HE'S A BETTER KISSER, I THINK. 151 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,850 DID THE PORTAL WORK? 152 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:51,476 IS HE IN HELL YET? 153 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,686 OOOH, HE'S IN HELL ALRIGHT. 154 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,063 MASTER? 155 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,564 MASTER? 156 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:59,192 MASTER? 157 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,070 TATJANA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 158 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,988 Master: I WAS JUST SITTING HERE THINKING HOW GLAD I AM 159 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,114 THAT I LEFT YOU FOR THE OUTRIDER. 160 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,784 AND HOW HE DOES THAT THING YOU USED TO DO WITH YOUR MOUTH, 161 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:10,411 BUT BETTER BECAUSE HE CAN HOLD HIS BREATH LONGER. 162 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,664 OH, IT IS YOU, MY MASTER. 163 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,540 DUH, ORPHEUS. 164 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:15,917 NOW WHAT'S ALL THIS CRYBABY CRAP ABOUT? 165 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,586 AREN'T YOU USED TO THE OUTRIDER MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE A SCHNOOK BY NOW? 166 00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:21,005 HE CAME OUT OF A PORTAL TO THE SECOND WORLD! 167 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,590 I HAVE BEEN TRAINING MY WHOLE LIFE 168 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,092 JUST TO PERCEIVE THAT THERE IS A SECOND WORLD, 169 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,719 AND HE CAN MOVE BETWEEN THEM? 170 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,262 TELL ME, MASTER. HOW CAN THIS BE? 171 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,890 THE LOVE OF A GOOD WOMAN CAN DO WONDERS, ORPHEUS. 172 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,100 I MEAN LOOK AT ME. 173 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,768 THESE ARE NATURAL C CUPS. 174 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:34,685 AREN'T THEY BEAUTIFUL? 175 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,604 I MEAN, YOU COULD BOUNCE A PENIS OFF THESE. 176 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,148 I DOUBT MY EX-WIFE'S BREASTS ARE THE ANSWER. 177 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,233 IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. 178 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,193 I AM SITTING ON WHAT IS EASILY THE ASS OF A TEENAGER. 179 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,237 WHAT, DOES SHE DO -- PILATES OR SOMETHING? 180 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,571 YOU COULD REST A COFFEE MUG ON IT. 181 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,864 REALLY? SHE'S ALMOST 40 BY NOW. 182 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:51,327 TELL IT TO THE HEINIE, ORPHEUS, 'CAUSE IT STILL THINKS IT'S 1992. 183 00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:52,578 [ SIGHS ] WHAT YA DOING? 184 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,372 NOTHING. 185 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,540 NOTHING BECAUSE OUR DAD, 186 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,458 THE GLOBE-TROTTING SUPER ACTION SCIENTIST 187 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,336 IS ON THE COUCH, "RESTING HIS EYES." 188 00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:01,546 THIS BLOWS! 189 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,132 I FOR ONE AM APPRECIATING OUR NEWFOUND SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE. 190 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,051 I APPRECIATE OUR SEDENTARY -- OH MY GOD! WHY?! 191 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,762 FOR ONE, I GET TO HANG OUT WITH TRIANA MORE. 192 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:10,888 I SAW YOU TWO. 193 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:11,806 SHE TREATS YOU LIKE HER FRIEND. 194 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,058 I AM HER FRIEND. AAAND, THAT'S IT. 195 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,810 NUH UHH! HAVE YOU SEEN HER NAKED? 196 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:16,727 NO. 197 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:17,979 HAVE YOU KISSED HER? NO. 198 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,647 HAVE YOU EVEN HELD HER HAND? 199 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,647 NO. 200 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,899 AND ARE YOU READY FOR THE SUPER DEPRESSING PART? 201 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,651 HAVE YOU HELPED HER SHOP FOR SHOES? 202 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:24,485 OH MY GLORY! 203 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,780 DEAN, SHE'S YOUR HAG. YOU'RE RIGHT. 204 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,073 YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY. 205 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,325 I KNOW A PLACE WHERE NATIVE GIRLS ABOUND! 206 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,494 A PARADISE OF YOUNG WOMEN ALL WAITING 207 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,165 TO VENTURE INTO ADVENTURE WITH A DEAN VENTURE! 208 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:37,999 GET YOUR COAT! 209 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:41,669 BUT MASTER, THE OUTRIDER WAS MY STUDENT! 210 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:42,795 HE WAS A PETULANT LAYABOUT! 211 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,922 THERE IS NO WAY HE COULD ACHIEVE THIS ABILITY! 212 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,841 WELL, HE DID. 213 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,259 MAYBE HE GOT SUPER GOOD AT MEDITATING, I DON'T KNOW. 214 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,344 IMPOSSIBLE! WELL, ORPHEUS, IT HAPPENED. 215 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,971 HEY, ARE YOU LOOKING UP MY DRESS? 216 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:52,972 SEE ANYTHING YOU MISS? 217 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,099 NO... I DON'T MISS HER ASTOUNDING BEAUTY DAILY. 218 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,393 ORPHEUS, YOU CAN'T TAKE BEING BESTED. 219 00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,228 YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD JUST BUILD A PORTAL 220 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,190 WITH LAWN FURNITURE AND GO KICK HIS ASS? 221 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,733 WELL, YES. YES, I DID. 222 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:04,901 IF THAT INSECT COULD DO IT. 223 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,152 OKAY, WELL GO TO IT, CHAMP! 224 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,361 GO FIND A PORTAL AND BEAT HIM UP! 225 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,323 SOLVED! JUST STOP WHINING. YOU ARE GIVING ME A HUGE HEADACHE. 226 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,074 CAN YOU RUB MY TEMPLES? MUST I? 227 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,159 DO YOU HAVE AN ASPIRIN THEN? 228 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,159 I DON'T TAKE THEM. 229 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,912 WHAT ABOUT IBUPROFEN? SORRY. 230 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,663 WHAT ABOUT ACEDO-MINO-MOPHIN? 231 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,663 NOPE. 232 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,873 TYLENOL PM? 233 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,873 NO. 234 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:19,999 WHAT ABOUT ECSTASY? NOTHING. 235 00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,918 IT'S EARSPLITTING, ORPHEUS. MAYBE I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR. 236 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,003 SERIOUSLY, YOU DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO CURE MY HEADACHE? 237 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,005 I CAN'T REALLY THINK OF ONE. 238 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,048 OH WAIT, I HAVE ONE. 239 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,884 WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN JUMP ROPE NAKED 240 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,511 IN FRONT OF A MIRROR IN YOUR EX-WIFE'S BODY. 241 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:36,057 WELCOME TO GIRL ISLAND. 242 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,893 HEY MADISON, GOT YOUR TEXT. 243 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:39,894 APRIL! 244 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,812 LITTLE BUSY NOW, CAN I HIT YOU BACK LATER? 245 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,398 TINA, SEE YOU GOT THAT... BLUE HAT. 246 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,609 THAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT WHEN WE WERE-- 247 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:47,944 OKAY, YEAH, I'M BUSY TOO. 248 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:48,945 YOU KNOW ALL THESE GIRLS? 249 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,072 WE TALK. I KEEP IT CAS'. 250 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,240 DON'T WANNA GET TIED DOWN. 251 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,241 THERE ARE TONS OF LADIES OUT THERE. 252 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,576 YOU CAN'T WALK INTO YOUR BACK YARD 253 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,744 AND FALL FOR THE FIRST GIRL YOU SEE. 254 00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,872 HANK, YOU HAD A CRUSH ON THE MAIL LADY FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS. 255 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:00,873 OUCH, TOUCHE. 256 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,209 IN MY DEFENSE, SHE WORE VERY ATTRACTIVE SHORTS. 257 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,502 AND THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME! 258 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,462 YOU GOTTA GET OUT THERE AND TAKE A BITE OUTTA CRIME! 259 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,548 ALRIGHT, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH... 260 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,590 WHAT DO I DO? 261 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,133 I'VE DONE SOME RESEARCH ON THE GETTING OF LADIES. 262 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:16,305 FIRST OFF, PULL THOSE PANTS DOWN FROM YOUR ARMPITS. 263 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,432 NOW MUSS UP YOUR HAIR. 264 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,809 I LOOK LIKE RUFIO. 265 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,436 YOU ARE THE PAN, DEAN. YOU ARE THE PAN. 266 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,271 OKAY, THAT BLONDE IS SHOWING INDICATORS. 267 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,274 FEIGNING DISINTEREST IS A CLEAR SIGNAL. 268 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,775 NOW GO ENGAGE THAT TWO-SET! 269 00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:31,028 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? GO TALK TO THEM! 270 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,196 MY BROTHER PUSHED ME. 271 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,866 YOU BLEW YOUR OPENER, SO LOCK IN AND MOVE TO KINO ESCALATION. 272 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,410 BODY CONTACT! 273 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,287 ISOLATE THE TARGET, AND ENTER YOUR SET. 274 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,956 I'LL RUN WING ON THE REMAINDER. 275 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,959 I'M GOING HOME. 276 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:45,793 IT'S JUST A FREEZE-OUT! 277 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:49,255 YOU CAN STILL REENGAGE AND NUMBER CLOSE! 278 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,924 THIS IS INAPPROPRIATELY SHORT. 279 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,010 HOW DID IT GO? 280 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,303 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 281 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:56,095 DID HE MENTION ME? 282 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,138 THE MASTER IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S CLOSET, 283 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,889 THAT MAY NOT EXIST? 284 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,224 NO, HE DIDN'T MENTION YOU. 285 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,350 IT WENT LIKE IT ALWAYS DOES. 286 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,227 HE TORE AWAY AT MY HEART TILL HE KICKED ME OUT. 287 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:06,105 NO MYSTIC REVELATIONS? CLUES TO DEEPER MEANINGS? 288 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,106 NO, HE TOLD ME TO GO TO MY PORTAL 289 00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:10,484 AND BEAT UP THE OUTRIDER. 290 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,861 ISN'T THAT HELPFUL? 291 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:12,820 THAT'S NOT THE ONLY PORTAL. 292 00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:14,655 HONESTLY, THAT'S NOT EVEN 'A' PORTAL. 293 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,699 I THINK HE WANTS US TO GO TO THE ORIGINAL ONE. 294 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,743 AL! 295 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:22,663 YOU ARE AGAIN A SHINING EXAMPLE OF THE TRIAD'S GREAT SPARK! 296 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,832 SWOOSH, AND THE CROWD GOES CRAZY! 297 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:27,335 SO CAN I GO INTO THE CLOSET WITH YOU NEXT TIME 298 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:28,461 AND MEET YOUR MYSTIC MASTER? 299 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,005 NO, THAT'S MY-- THAT'S MY THING. 300 00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,506 OH, HI PUMPKIN. 301 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,301 WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING IN MY BEDROOM? 302 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,679 UMM, WELL AL WANTED, UH -- 303 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:42,016 I WANTED TO SEE YOUR CD COLLECTION! 304 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,726 YEAH, I'M OLD-SCHOOL DEATHROCK. 305 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,478 I USED TO GO TO THE BAT CAVE 306 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,064 WHEN NICK FIEND WAS STILL THE DOORMAN. 307 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,232 YES! THAT'S TRUE. HE WAS. 308 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,610 WE'D LOVE TO STAY AND BAIL OURSELVES OUT, BUT WE-- 309 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:55,738 YES! SO... WITH WINGS OF LIGHT! 310 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:57,406 BY DAY AND NIGHT! 311 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,242 WE MAKE OUR FLIGHT! 312 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:05,748 HELLO? 313 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,545 [ ALL SCREAMING ] 314 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,381 KNEW IT! EVERY TIME! 315 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,507 SO CLOSE! SO CLOSE. 316 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:15,383 NO, IT'S TRUE. 317 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,050 WE WERE WAY CLOSER TO THE GROUND THIS TIME. 318 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,093 YOU KNOW IT'S ME. 319 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,011 YOU WON'T ADMIT THAT THE NON-MAGIC BLACKULA HUNTER 320 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,054 IS HOLDING YOU BACK. 321 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:23,224 JEFFERSON, ASTRAL PEREGRINATION IS VERY DIFFICULT. 322 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,351 IT COULD BE SOMETHING AS MINOR AS A WEIGHT ISSUE. 323 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,019 OKAY, THAT IS A GENETIC PROBLEM! 324 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,230 SO WHY DON'T WE STOP PICKING ON THE FAT KID 325 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,273 AND CRANK THIS PORTAL UP. 326 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,193 PLACE IS CREEPING ME OUT. 327 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,444 MAN, SOMEBODY'S BEEN PRACTICING. 328 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,823 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. THAT'S JUST HAPPENING. 329 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,408 TRIAD! BE UNSEEN! 330 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,244 WAS SOMETHING SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN? 331 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,037 ARE WE INVISIBLE NOW, OR SOMETHING? 332 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,914 NO, I MEANT THAT WE SHOULD HIDE. 333 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,082 JUST LIKE BEHIND SOMETHING. 334 00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:51,419 Al: WELL BE SPECIFIC NEXT TIME. 335 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,758 [ COUGHING ] 336 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,012 KILL ME, OUTRIDER. 337 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,264 I HAVE SEEN TOO MUCH. 338 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:06,308 HELL IS MY EVERY SIGHT, MY EVERY THOUGHT... 339 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,477 END MY PAIN! 340 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,395 SILAT! ANABOTAS! 341 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,480 DELIVER THIS INFIDEL TO PEACE. 342 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,818 HIS SUFFERING HAS BEEN LONG ENOUGH. 343 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,903 MY PAIN IS YOURS, OUTRIDER! 344 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,447 I DEVOUR YOU! 345 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,740 ALBROT, ABRACADABRA, EL! 346 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,617 ENTER THE DRAGON'S EYE! 347 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:26,036 I CONDEMN YOU TO DAMNATION! 348 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,747 [ OUTRIDER SCREAMING IN AGONY ] 349 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,127 THAT WAS 100% BAD-ASS! 350 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,879 THAT WAS TOTAL MOVIE COOL. 351 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,423 AND TORRID ACTUALLY SAID "ABRACADABRA." 352 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,550 I SO THOUGHT THAT WAS A FAKE MAGIC WORD. 353 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,385 IT'S A REAL MAGIC WORD. 354 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,721 ONE OF THE THREE HOLY NAMES... 355 00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:44,638 OH, LOOK AT HIS FACE! 356 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,474 GREAT, SO WE TAKE CREDIT FOR KILLING TORRID, 357 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,976 YOU TAKE CREDIT FOR KICKING THE OUTRIDER'S ASS, 358 00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,312 THEN WE MAKE A SECRET PACT 359 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:53,314 TO NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN. 360 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,900 I'VE BEEN WRONG ABOUT THE OUTRIDER. 361 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,818 HE WAS NOBLE AND GOOD. 362 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,112 WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM LIKE THIS. 363 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,698 OKAY, WE DROP A ROCK ON HIS HEAD, 364 00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:03,365 THEN WE MAKE A SECRET PACT 365 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,993 TO NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN. 366 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:06,619 NO. HELP ME GET HIM UP. 367 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:09,788 WE ARE GOING TO RESCUE HIM 368 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,707 FROM HELL! 369 00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:12,208 HELLO? 370 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,125 IS ANYONE IN HERE? 371 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,419 HI, SUGAR-DUMPLING. I WAS JUST VACUUMING. 372 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,670 AFTER THIS I'M GONNA WATCH TV, THEN CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP. 373 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,840 I DON'T KNOW, I MIGHT WAKE YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 374 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,176 AND THREATEN TO KILL MYSELF IF YOU LEAVE ME... AGAIN. 375 00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:24,845 SO! HOW'S WORK? 376 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,597 WHAT IS THIS? WHO ARE YOU? 377 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,516 BABY-DOLL, IT'S ME, YOUR LOYAL HUSBAND, DEAN VENTURE. 378 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:32,520 I'M YOUR FUTURE! ISN'T THIS GREAT?! 379 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:33,812 [ BABY CRYING ] 380 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,481 THAT'S OUR BABY, RUSTY JR. 381 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,690 WELL, IF YOU CAN CALL IT A BABY. 382 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:40,152 IT'S GOT LIKE A LEG GROWING OUT OF WHAT WOULD BE 383 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,612 THE HEAD ON A REGULAR BABY. 384 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,656 AND IF YOU SQUEEZE HIM, POOP COMES OUT OF HIS EYES 385 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,533 AND A LITTLE BIT UNDER HIS FINGERNAILS. 386 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,535 I JUST WALKED INTO A CLOSET! 387 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:48,536 WHAT IS GOING ON? 388 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:51,330 WE HAD A DEFORMED KID BECAUSE MY GENE POOL IS 389 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:52,414 MORE OF LIKE A GENE SEPTIC TANK. 390 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:56,752 YEAH, I WAS CLONED SO MUCH I ONLY MAKE MONSTER BABIES. 391 00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:58,462 WAIT, DEAN WAS CLONED? 392 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,005 DEAN WAS CLONED, HANK WAS CLONED, 393 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,048 AND YOU'VE BEEN HERE LIKE TEN TIMES BEFORE THIS. 394 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:04,301 SURPRISE! SOMEBODY'S BEEN GETTING HER MEMORY WIPED! 395 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,762 Hank: DEAN! 396 00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:07,888 DEEEEAN! 397 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:08,639 DEEEEAN! 398 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,391 FART KNOCKER! OVER HERE! 399 00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,850 DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 400 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,435 CAME FOR A NEW PAIR OF HEAVY BAG GLOVES. 401 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,938 TORE THROUGH MY LAST PAIR WHALING ON THE BAG. 402 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,940 THEN WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BIG BARGAINS APRON? 403 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,275 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 404 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,401 I THOUGHT YOUR OLD MAN KEPT YOU ON A LEASH. 405 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,362 I CAN'T FIND MY BROTHER AND WE HAVE TO BE HOME BY DARK. 406 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,489 SUCKS TO BE YOU. OH SNAP! 407 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,074 I FOUND YOUR BROTHER. WHERE? 408 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:28,951 DUH, THE GUY WITH THE OTHER FLYING SCOOTER, 409 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,203 HOLY [bleep], HE'S TALKING TO A GIRL! 410 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:34,331 MAYBE WE SHOULD STRIP HIM DOWN AND RUB HIM WITH MAGIC UNCTIONS? 411 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,416 HOW WILL THAT HELP HIM? 412 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,418 HIM? I WAS THINKING OF ME. 413 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,004 WE CAN'T BRING HIM BACK TILL WE KNOW HOW HE GOT THERE. 414 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,797 THERE ARE DOORS TO THE SECOND WORLD. 415 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,091 YOU MUST EXIT THE ONE YOU ENTERED. 416 00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,884 SO, BACK TO THE PORTAL? 417 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,428 PORTALS ARE LIKE WINDOWS. 418 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,637 WE NEED THE DOOR. THE ORIGINAL DOOR. 419 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,390 THIS IS CONFUSING. I'M GETTING A HEADACHE. 420 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:55,269 I DON'T HAVE ANY ASP-- WAIT! 421 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,146 YES! HOW DID I MISS IT?! 422 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,773 THE MASTER ASKED ME TO CURE HIS HEADACHE. 423 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:04,278 A HEADACHE SO SEVERE THAT MEDICATION COULDN'T HELP. 424 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,864 OF COURSE! TREPANNING. 425 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,907 HOME BRAIN SURGERY! 426 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,910 Dermott: I'VE HAD ALL THE HOT CHICKS IN THIS TOWN. 427 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,038 YEAH, MY NEW ONE, SHE LIVES OUT OF STATE. 428 00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,956 WE HOOK UP WHENEVER I ROAD TRIP. 429 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,459 IS SHE PRETTY? DUDE, SHE'S A MODEL. 430 00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:19,335 SHE'S LIKE 23. 431 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,295 WELL, TRACY, THAT'S THE GIRL I JUST MET. 432 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,797 SHE'S A CASHIER. 433 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,797 YOU GONNA GO FOR THAT PIECE? 434 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,050 I'M KINDA SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. 435 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:26,967 WHAT ARE YOU, MARRIED? 436 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,385 MAN, DO YOU DIG THIS TRACY GIRL OR WHAT? 437 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,929 WELL, SHE SEEMS NICE. AND HER HAIR IS REALLY PRETTY. 438 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:34,016 WELL TALK TO HER THEN. YOU DON'T HAVE TO NAIL HER. 439 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,392 JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 440 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,518 MAN, WAY TO BE UPTIGHT. 441 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,811 WAIT, DID YOU JUST GIVE GOOD ADVICE? 442 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,689 I GOTTA GO CHECK THE TEMPERATURE IN HELL. 443 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,857 YOU CAN BOTH BLOW ME. 444 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,818 IT'S LIKE HE USED A BOTTLE OPENER ON HIS PREFRONTAL CORTEX. 445 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,570 HE ALL BUT GAVE HIMSELF A LOBOTOMY. 446 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,989 HOLY [bleep]! THERE'S AN OLD MARBLE IN HERE! 447 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,991 IT'S AN AMULET. THE EYE OF OSIRIS. 448 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,034 THEY WERE PLACED IN THE WOUND LEFT AFTER EMBALMING, 449 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,287 TO PROTECT THE MUMMY ON HIS JOURNEY TO THE UNDERWORLD. 450 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,123 IT'S FILTHY. REMOVE IT AT ONCE! 451 00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,041 THE OUTRIDER DID IT. 452 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,001 HE FOUND A SHORTCUT TO THE SECOND WORLD. 453 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,295 I'M NOT SURE IF HE'S THE BRAVEST SORCERER, 454 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,047 OR THE STUPIDEST. 455 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:05,673 IT'S OUT! I DID IT. 456 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,341 SO, AM I PART OF THE TRIAD? 457 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:10,427 TRIAD IMPLIES THREE. 458 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,345 SO... ALRIGHT. 459 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,847 THEN YOU GUYS HAVE TO PAY MY RATHER STEEP FEE. 460 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,558 WELCOME TO THE MYSTICAL ORDER OF THE TRIAD, 461 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,310 SPECIAL BROTHER BILLY! 462 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,687 WHY IS HE STILL LIKE THAT? 463 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,688 WE MUST DRAW HIM OUT! 464 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,856 DRAW HIM FROM HELL, WITH HELL. 465 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,858 QUICKLY! WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?! 466 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:28,404 UMMM, I SAW MY MOM RAPED BY BLACKULAS. 467 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,405 I WAS TEN... 468 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,824 SHE CALLED MY NAME. I JUST STOOD THERE. 469 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:35,202 AHHH, WOW. WAIT. I CAN HEAR HIM! 470 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,245 MORE UGLINESS! 471 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,247 UMMM, I ONCE SAW TWO HOMELESS GUYS 472 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,039 GIVING EACH OTHER ORAL SEX. 473 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,667 YES! HE'S CLOSER! MORE LIKE THAT. 474 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,001 OKAY, THIS IS REALLY GROSS. 475 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,422 ONCE I WAS OUT OF TOILET PAPER SO I USED COTTON BALLS. 476 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,881 SO, YOU KNOW, I'M WIPING, 477 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,175 AND I THINK MY FINGER KINDA POKED THROUGH THE COTTON. 478 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,469 SO I -- AND DO NOT ASK ME WHY -- 479 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,263 I SMELL MY FINGER TO CHECK. 480 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,098 GROSS. I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING. 481 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,808 QUICKLY, AL! HE'S SO CLOSE! 482 00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,059 OKAY, I BRING IT UP TO SMELL IT, RIGHT. 483 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,520 BUT SOMEHOW THE COTTON GOT STUCK TO MY FINGERS, 484 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:04,106 SO WHEN I SMELL MY FINGERS, 485 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,316 THE COTTON'S GETTING STUCK TO MY RAZOR STUBBLE. 486 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:11,196 SO I HAVE THIS [bleep] COTTON ALL OVER MY FACE! 487 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,742 THIS CAN'T BE GOOD. 488 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:15,868 TELL ME ABOUT IT. 489 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:16,535 HEY, DO I REALLY LOOK THAT SHORT? 490 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,912 I MEAN, YOU LIKE HIM, RIGHT? 491 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:19,580 YEAH, BUT NOT IN THAT WAY. 492 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,749 I MEAN, I COULD... MAYBE. 493 00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:23,751 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S SO CONFUSING. 494 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:24,960 I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD TO MAKE UP MY MIND SO FAST. 495 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:27,963 MAYBE-SCHMABY! YOU GOTTA SET THAT KID FREE, 496 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:28,797 OR YOU BETTER START GETTING INTO THIS! 497 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,924 DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS UNCIRCUMCISED? 498 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,385 YEAH, MR. BALDY WILL FOREVER WEAR HIS TURTLENECK. 499 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,887 THAT'S SO GROSS. 500 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,096 DO I HAVE TO BREAK HIS HEART? 501 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,598 NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BREAK HIS HEART, 502 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:40,350 BUT YOU DO HAVE TO CLEAN HIS PENIS WITH A Q-TIP. 503 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,477 OKAY, I'M THE MASTER. 504 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,353 I'M LIKE YOUR DAD'S OMNISCIENT BOSS. 505 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,105 SO LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. 506 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,273 GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. 507 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,566 YOU THINK JUST ANYONE CAN WALK INTO YOUR CLOSET AND SEE ME? 508 00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:48,609 NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. 509 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,612 THAT'S A REGULAR CLOSET TO ANYONE WITHOUT THE GIFT! 510 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,363 YOU SHOULD START YOUR TRAINING NOW. 511 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,698 AND SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN MAKE BETTER MONEY AT THIS STUFF 512 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,451 THAN YOU CAN AS A MANAGER OF THE GAP. 513 00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,536 MY DAD KINDA WANTS ME TO GO TO ART SCHOOL. 514 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,497 AND GET THE WORLD'S MOST USELESS DIPLOMA!? 515 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,457 FORGET YOUR DAD. 516 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,042 HE'S TRYING TO SAVE YOU FROM HIS LIFE, NOT YOURS. 517 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,544 TRIANA ORPHEUS, YOU SHOULD GO LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER 518 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:08,462 AND BEGIN YOUR TRAINING TO BE A SORCERESS. 519 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,254 IT'S YOUR DESTINY! 520 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,089 AND IT'S WAY CHEAPER THAN ART SCHOOL! 521 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,593 WOW. YA KNOW, THAT ALL SEEMS SO RIGHT. 522 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,136 IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING JUST MAKES SENSE NOW. 523 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,973 TOO BAD YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS EVER HAPPENED. 524 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:23,227 OKAY, A TOUPEE MIGHT BE TOO SEVERE. 525 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,311 MAYBE A HAT? 526 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,814 GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO HELL. 527 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,732 IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE ORPHEUS' KITCHEN. 528 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,609 I KINDA IMAGINED IT WOULD BE, I DON'T KNOW, HOTTER, 529 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,778 MAYBE SOME LAVA PITS. 530 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,280 I DON'T LIKE DRY CAT FOOD. SIMBA? 531 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,156 AND TELL YOUR DAUGHTER 532 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,699 I DON'T LIKE BEING SCRATCHED NEAR MY TAIL. 533 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,951 SHE JUST DOESN'T GET IT. 534 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,452 OH... I'M SORRY. 535 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,079 OKAY, THAT'S BETTER. 536 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:44,331 MORE WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR. 537 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:46,083 I APOLOGIZE, OUTRIDER. 538 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,876 I WAS BLINDED BY MY JEALOUSY. 539 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,505 I JUST COULDN'T DEAL WITH BEING BESTED IN SO MANY WAYS. 540 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,298 YA KNOW, I IDOLIZED YOU. 541 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,550 YOU WERE EVERYTHING I WANTED TO BE. 542 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:58,470 THEN WHEN I GOT TO KNOW YOU, I REALIZED HOW YOU GOT SO POWERFUL. 543 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,305 YOU SACRIFICED EVERYTHING. 544 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,642 AND I KNEW THERE WAS A QUICKER WAY TO ENLIGHTENMENT. 545 00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:06,061 OOPS, SORRY. I'M IN HELL. 546 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:08,647 QUICKER, YES. BUT CLEARLY MORE DANGEROUS. 547 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,358 FAMILY WAS JUST MORE IMPORTANT TO ME. 548 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:14,236 WHOA! OKAY, LET ME GET THAT. 549 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,071 YOU DROPPED YOUR DINO-DAMAGE. 550 00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:19,700 YES, I KNOW THAT I WAS A ROTTEN HUSBAND, 551 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,827 AND NOT MUCH OF A FATHER, BUT I TRIED TO -- 552 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,872 WHY DON'T YOU AND BRUNDLE-FLY HERE 553 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,708 FINISH THIS LOVE-FEST OUTSIDE OF HELL? 554 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,459 OH, WE CAN'T LEAVE. 555 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:32,546 YOU NEED TO BE BETWEEN THE TWO WORLDS TO BRING US BACK. 556 00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:35,883 YOU ARE TRAPPED WITH ME. 557 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,551 ARE YOU SLEEPING? 558 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:38,927 HUH? WHAT? OH... 559 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,554 I WAS JUST THINKING. 560 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,389 DID TRIANA CALL? NOBODY CALLED YOU. 561 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,558 YA KNOW, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE EVER GOTTEN A PHONE CALL. 562 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,059 BECAUSE IF SHE DID, I WASN'T HERE. 563 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:49,771 I WAS OUT WITH THE BOYS. MEETING GIRLS AND STUFF. 564 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,647 OKAY. 565 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,274 IF A GIRL DOES CALL, I'LL BE IN MY ROOM. 566 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:55,402 AND I'LL BE HERE, DEAN. ARE YOU OKAY? 567 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,613 YEAH... I'M PRETTY GOOD. 568 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:01,074 WELL DID YOU HAVE TO REMOVE THE EYE OF OSIRIS FROM MY BRAIN? 569 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:01,867 THAT WAS WORKING GREAT. 570 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:06,371 ME? TORRID MESSED THAT UP. I'M CLEAN. 571 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,373 THAT GUY'S A LOSER. 572 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,333 SERIOUSLY. 573 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,418 IT'S ALWAYS THE GUY THAT OPENS UP HELL 574 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:12,920 THAT GETS KILLED FIRST. 575 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,171 THAT'S BASIC. 576 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:16,006 FIRST YEAR VILLAIN STUFF. 577 00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,382 I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS. 578 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,968 JEFFERSON, YOU ARE BETWEEN WORLDS! 579 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,638 DUDE! YOU HAVE A MAGIC POWER! 580 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,139 REALLY! I'M MAGIC? 581 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:28,518 YES! OUTSTRETCH YOUR HAND AND BRING US HOME! 582 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:29,937 I'M TRYING... IS IT MOVING? 583 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,732 MEH. YOU REALLY GOTTA LEAN INTO IT. 584 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:37,027 I'M MAGIC! DAMN! MAGIC BLACKULA HUNTER! 585 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,528 THAT SHOULD DO IT! 586 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,113 ORPHEUS? AFTER YOU. 587 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,325 AL. YOUR TURN. 588 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,953 ORPHEUS IS BACK. I AM SO TOTALLY MAGIC! 589 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:50,332 WE ARE NEVER GONNA HEAR THE END OF THIS. 590 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:59,633 [laughs] NO, NO, NO, REALLY! 591 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,969 THIS WOMAN IS EASILY 230 POUNDS, 592 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,930 AND SHE HAS ORPHEUS TIED UP, RIGHT... 593 00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:07,099 WAS HE KIDNAPPED TO PERFORM EXPERIMENTAL SURGERY? 594 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,269 [laughs] NO, THAT'S YOUR THING! 595 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,270 FIVE TIMES THIS YEAR ALONE! 596 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,691 HI, SWEETIE. CAN'T SLEEP? 597 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,317 YEAH... 598 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,902 HEY, CAN WE TALK? 599 00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:50,100 NOW IF YOU CAN'T GET MY PHONE, YOU HAVE MY E-MAIL ADDRESS. 600 00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:51,018 AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK 601 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,478 YOU CAN PSYCHICALLY COMMUNICATE ANY TIME. 602 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:54,896 DAD! I'M JUST GOING TO MOM'S. 603 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,358 I'LL SEE YOU ALL THE TIME. RELAX. 604 00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,235 OKAY, OKAY... I WORRY. 605 00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:02,988 JEFFERSON, YOU WANNA HAND ME THAT BAG? 606 00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:06,616 HOLD ON! I'LL USE MY MAGIC POWERS! 607 00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:11,705 YES, UH, WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAND IT TO ME? 608 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:15,208 CAN WE TALK? 609 00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:16,126 YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, RIGHT? 610 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:21,048 YES, MY LITTLE GIRL HAS GROWN UP. 611 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,132 AHHH, NO. 612 00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:25,385 IT MEANS THAT WE ARE GONNA HAVE TO THROW A HUGE PARTY 613 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,012 IN YOUR EMPTY HOUSE! 614 00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:28,680 I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING, 615 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,475 AND I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE. 616 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:33,852 LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE ROUGH. 617 00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:36,021 YOU ARE SO WISE, DEAN. 618 00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:38,065 I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 619 00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:40,859 OR MAYBE WE COULD TRY A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP? 620 00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:42,861 THERE ARE TOO MANY GIRLS WAITING IN LINE. 621 00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:46,531 I CAN'T HOG YOU ALL TO MYSELF. 622 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:47,532 TRUE.