1
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,589
[ Exhales ]
2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,842
[ Water splashes in distance ]
3
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:15,098
[ Groans ]
4
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,308
[ Shrieks ]
5
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,268
[ Splashes ]
6
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:25,108
♪♪
7
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,234
Weesh-hoo.
8
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:30,280
♪♪
9
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,365
[ Silenced pistols firing ]
10
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:37,412
[ Grunting ]
11
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:41,374
[ Laser whooshes ]
12
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,959
[ Doors creak ]
13
00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:43,877
Paydirt.
14
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,213
Monarch:
21-- uh, Number 2!
15
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,174
Step aside!
16
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,259
I'll do the honors.
17
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,470
♪♪
18
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,096
Oh, clever Venture.
19
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,265
So practiced in
the art of deceit.
20
00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:01,811
But don't you know you can't
hide from your own shadow?!
21
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,229
[ Gasps ] iMadre díos!
22
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:06,858
God can't hear you,
dieciséis! Minions!
23
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:11,154
I hold in my hot little hand
the key to our bold new future!
24
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:16,034
At long last, the full power
of the Mighty Monarch
25
00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,203
shall be unleashed!
26
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,163
[ Laughs evilly ]
27
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:25,418
Mmm. Ahh!
Oh, that's the stuff.
28
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,004
Um...Mr. Monarch?
29
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,172
Honey?
30
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,173
Hmm? Wh-What?
31
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,841
The Councilman asked
you a question.
32
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,677
I said, "What's up
with your eyebrows?"
33
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,680
-Oh, I...ran out of product.
-Mm-hmm.
34
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,848
What, is that gonna
count against me?
35
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,017
Personal grooming
is a factor, yes.
36
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:45,021
But determining your EMA level
is a calculus of many criterion.
37
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:48,066
I must say, so far,
your lair does not impress.
38
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,235
Well, we're still in the process
of upgrading our equipment.
39
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,362
We weren't really expecting
you to come by so soon.
40
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:55,031
Precisely the point
of a "surprise inspection!"
41
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,408
You let your henchmen
speak out of turn?
42
00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,245
No, no, no, he's not a henchman.
He's -- He's my number two.
43
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:04,290
The, uh...henchman army you're
looking for is right over here.
44
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,750
Hmph. "Army."
45
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,877
Taylor Swift rolls
with a bigger squad.
46
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,047
And these uniforms!
Cheap Jersey knit.
47
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,549
Oh, who're you,
Michael Kors?
48
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,384
Honey, help me out here.
49
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,885
Sweetie, my hands
are tied.
50
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,805
I can't intercede in the
Councilman's impartial audit.
51
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,974
Then why are you here?!
52
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,017
Sorry. Look, give it
to me straight.
53
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,687
Do I qualify to arch
Venture yet or not?
54
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,188
Upon careful evaluation,
55
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,274
it is this Councilman's
opinion that The Guild
56
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:33,778
should officially re-classify
your EMA rating at a...
57
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,072
Level Five.
-Five?! Motherf--
58
00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:38,575
Look, we know we're still
a little rough around the edges.
59
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,285
But five's kinda
low, isn't it?
60
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,078
It is exceedingly generous!
61
00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:44,664
Mr. Monarch, it will take
more than a coat of paint
62
00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:46,082
to rise in our ranks.
63
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:48,626
But what about my amazing
new flying fortress?!
64
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,670
It's gotta be worth
at least a six or seven.
65
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:53,298
Ah, yes...that.
66
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,675
[ Air hissing ]
67
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,427
Five.
68
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:01,681
♪♪
69
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,684
Sweet. Let's do this.
70
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:12,275
♪♪
71
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,694
[ Grunting ] C'mon!
72
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,279
♪♪
73
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:19,282
[ Grunting ]
74
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,992
[ Sighs ]
Yeah.
75
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,702
[ Beeps, ringing ]
[ Clears throat ]
76
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,162
Hello, my lady-love.
77
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,205
Just chillin'
in the new Hank pad,
78
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,875
and there's just
one thing missing -- You.
79
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:30,209
Wanna come over and cuddle?
80
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,629
Oh, sounds like fun,
but I got class.
81
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,630
I'll say you do!
82
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,298
Class, beauty, brains --
83
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,299
School, Hank.
84
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,634
[ Indistinct shouting ]
I have --
85
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,344
What the fuck?
86
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:45,141
[ Tires squealing ]
87
00:03:45,224 --> 00:03:46,643
Ah! Sorry.
88
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,020
Traffic in this city
really grinds my nuts.
89
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,730
Took one look
at this nice, open lawn
90
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,690
and just had to open
Adrienne up.
91
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,983
It's okay, Brock.
92
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,985
I know what it's like
to feel bottled up inside.
93
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,821
I know ya do, Dean.
And that's why...
94
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,406
I want you to have her.
95
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,699
Whoa. Really?
96
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,201
No! What are you, nuts?
97
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,911
I thought you were supposed
to be the smart one.
98
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,746
C'mon, grab your shit.
99
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:12,502
[ Groans ]
100
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,586
What the f--? Dude!
101
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,088
Whoa!
H-Hey. Hey!
102
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,340
Is today the day
you're moving in?
103
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,008
Y-Yeah.
104
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,011
Um, Brock, this is
my roommate, Jared.
105
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,013
Jared...
-[ Stammering ] We've met.
106
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,682
You fucking that thing?
107
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,101
Wh--? No! No.
I would n-never.
108
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,186
No, this is my
fightin' beaver! Right?
109
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:33,231
It's for cheering, not for --
I'm -- I'm going to --
110
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:37,235
I-I should go get dressed,
check on my student loans.
111
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,362
Maybe it's better the family
didn't care enough
112
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,780
to come to see me off.
113
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:43,241
Aw, c'mon, Dean.
They -- They care.
114
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,659
At least Helper does.
115
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:46,536
All Hank cares about
is getting my old room.
116
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,580
And Pop's still sore I'm not
taking any science classes.
117
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:52,875
Yeah, look, uh, there's
something you should know.
118
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,585
You don't have to
say it, Brock.
119
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:58,006
Your dad signed you up for
a shitload of science classes.
120
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,717
We're in a shit-storm
o' trouble, Dr. Venture!
121
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,928
Ven-Tech is still in the red
from the Gargantua-2 fiasco,
122
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,388
and we spent a fortune
gettin' this here
123
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:08,891
skyscraper sea-worthy
after yer pappy Shanghaied her.
124
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,103
So whatever ye and yer
Jr. Science Club
125
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,105
have been cookin' up
down in spec sci,
126
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,774
ya better produce some
measurable results right quick,
127
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,985
or Ven-Tech's gonna go belly up!
128
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,904
[ Clears throat ]
Well, gentlemen,
129
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,741
there's only
one thing left to do.
130
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,660
♪♪
131
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,912
What are you
doing there, Doc?
132
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,123
Oh, geez, Doc!
133
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,458
Oh!
134
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:38,379
"No measurable results," eh?
What do you call this?!
135
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,966
Uh, ain't that the doohickey
yer brother used to wear?
136
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,260
No! Not -- not exactly.
137
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:47,930
Gentlemen, I give you the future
of personal conveyance.
138
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:51,601
And the future...
belongs to Ven-Tech!
139
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,019
[ Laughs ]
140
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,688
Uh, you got a bit of a --
141
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,524
Oh, geez!
Oh, look at yer leg!
142
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,818
Nah, nah, you don't wanna
pull that --
143
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,818
[ Moans ]
144
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,112
Oh, boy.
145
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,447
Doc?
146
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,115
Mm-hmm...
147
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,241
Mm-hmm.
148
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,035
And you're looking
to borrow how much?
149
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,120
-$20 million.
-Oh, yeah.
150
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,748
Which you would use to acquire
a new flying fortress,
151
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,917
uniforms and equipment,
and, uh --
152
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,376
what is this item?
-Handy Dandy.
153
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,962
Very difficult to acquire,
on account of the ambergris,
154
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,716
but I assure you it is
essential to my work.
155
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,344
Hmm. No proof of income...
156
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,221
Uh, he does
own his own home.
157
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,474
You're referring to the
condemned property in Newark?
158
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,683
Formerly condemned.
159
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,477
I spent a small fortune
fixing it up.
160
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,437
Hence the business loan.
161
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,481
Don't want to strain the ol'
trust fund too much, you know.
162
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,816
A trust fund, y'say?
163
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,276
Do you happen to have
documentation on that account?
164
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,444
Wh--? No, you do.
165
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,654
It's been at this bank
for, like, 40 years.
166
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,780
Look it up!
167
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:46,948
Ah. Okay. Yes.
168
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,199
Well, I see it here now.
169
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,409
I do apologize,
Mr. Fitzcarraldo...
170
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:53,037
Monarch. And no need to
apologize, just gimme money.
171
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,666
...but that account
is overdrawn.
172
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,043
♪♪
173
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,087
[ Gasping ]
174
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,087
O-Okay.
175
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,214
Just try
to breathe here.
176
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,841
We can try
the Guild Credit Union,
177
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:05,842
or maybe your wife
could give us a l--
178
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,094
Go wait in the car.
179
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,096
-What?
-Do it.
180
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,850
Listen to me
very carefully.
181
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,227
You're going to
give me that money.
182
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,437
Because this is
a robbery!
183
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,898
Everybody drop
to the ground!
184
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,068
I am an armed
and deadly supervillain!
185
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,279
And if anyone tries
anything funny...
186
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:28,865
...that happens!
187
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,116
Brown Widow:
Not in my parlor...
188
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:33,077
said the Spider
to the Butter-Fly.
189
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,329
This bank is protected by...
190
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,206
The Brown Widow!
191
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,834
Ugh, did that just
come out of your --
192
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,834
Widow kick!
193
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,755
-S-Start the car!
-Going somewhere?
194
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:45,923
Aaah!
195
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,425
[ Crashing, screams ]
196
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,930
All right, everybody, listen up!
My name is Professor Tompkins,
197
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,099
and I'm gonna be
filling in for Dr. Nidaba
198
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,435
while he is still incapacitated.
199
00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,645
Hey, Bjorn Borg, you're late!
-Sorry. [ Chuckles ]
200
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:03,399
Little about me -- I normally
teach U.S. Military History,
201
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,402
and I'm head coach of the
Stuyvesant wrestling team --
202
00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:07,820
Go, Beavers!
203
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:11,282
So, I'm a little new to all this
namby-pamby philosophy crap.
204
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:14,202
So today I'm gonna start
you out on the classics
205
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:19,457
with a li'l help from visiting
Professor Mr. Zack Snyder.
206
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,126
Somehow I don't think
the moral of Plato's Republic
207
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,213
was "kickin' ass
and takin' names."
208
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,799
Yeah, no, but how cool
was it to see "300" again, huh?
209
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,551
Dean? Dean Venture?
210
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,720
Oh, my God,
I thought that was you.
211
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:33,971
Oh, hi, Sirena.
212
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,765
-Hi, Sirena.
-Bye, Jared.
213
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,183
[ Muttering ]
Bye, Jared.
214
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,602
So you're livin'
on campus now, huh?
215
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:40,895
Oh, I'm so jelly.
216
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,147
It's only like 50 blocks,
or whatever,
217
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,107
but it's like a totally
different world up here.
218
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,901
Yeah. I sure hope so,
anyway.
219
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,361
Hey, where you headed?
220
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,987
You wanna grab a cup
of coffee or something?
221
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,530
Oh, uh,
well, I-I can't.
222
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,282
Oh, do you have
that same Hank thing
223
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,700
where coffee makes you crazy?
224
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:58,120
No. I have to go cancel
all my science classes
225
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,164
because my dad
makes me crazy.
226
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,375
Doctor: Well,
he's lucky to be alive.
227
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,502
We were able to stop
the bleeding in time,
228
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,754
but the glass nicked
his femoral artery,
229
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:10,216
so we're gonna want to keep him
overnight for observation.
230
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:13,302
Heckuva job body-guarding
there, Samson.
231
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,179
I had to drop Dean off.
Where were you?
232
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,889
Where am I always?!
233
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,182
Down at the front desk.
234
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,226
A real soldier
never leaves his post.
235
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,645
So who's watching
the place now?
236
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,188
[ Beeping frantically ]
237
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,276
Yeah, I should
probably get back.
238
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:31,237
D-Did Dean come?
Where's my boy?
239
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,197
He's at class, Doc.
First day.
240
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,448
I'm here, though, Pop!
241
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,908
And while I got you
in a groovy mood,
242
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,368
I need a quick
cash injection
243
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,370
for, uh, some upgrades
I want to do to my new room.
244
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:42,540
Now, I can keep the costs
down by do-it-myself-ing
the paint and wallpaper,
245
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,667
but frankly, I'm out of my depth
when it comes to this skylight.
246
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,211
No, Hank. Just...no.
247
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,504
I'm not giving you any money.
248
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:49,422
Wh--? C'mon!
249
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,674
You gave Dean
his own checkbook!
250
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,217
And I gave you a choice.
251
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,802
Either you enroll in school --
-Well --
252
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,763
Clown college doesn't count --
or you get a job.
253
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:01,392
I'm sorry, gentlemen,
but visiting hours are over.
254
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:04,186
You're free to come
back tonight, okay?
255
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,479
Hey, can I get
one of those?
256
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,815
Because while my dad
might be a billionaire,
257
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,318
I don't have
a pot to piss in!
258
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,403
You're lucky I'm not
charging you rent, Hank!
259
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,573
Wait, where are you going?
Nurse, this man is my bodyguard.
260
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,116
He's authorized
to stay the night.
261
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,576
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
262
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,412
[ Button clicking ]
Wait, stay with me, Bro-- ahh.
263
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:35,217
It's bad.
264
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,012
Hey, sweetie.
Rough day, huh?
265
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,806
[ Moans loudly ]
266
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,225
Yeah. New York is lousy
with superheroes.
267
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,769
Y-You'll do better next time.
268
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:48,356
You don't understand, baby.
There is no next time!
269
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,400
I'm broke. Game over.
I have nothing left.
270
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,277
You have me.
You have 21.
271
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,571
You have this beautiful house.
-You mean this money pit!
272
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:58,616
What the hell was I thinking,
pouring all my --
273
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,743
These sconces!
Look at these sconces.
274
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:01,827
$1,200 apiece.
275
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,454
[ Electricity crackles ]
Was I out of my mind?
276
00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:05,247
Okay, well, breaking them
isn't gonna --
277
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,249
This desk -- this vintage
rosewood executive desk
278
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,876
by Arne Vodder for Sibast.
279
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,628
$8,000!
280
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,546
-You're gonna get it all back.
-Oh! Oh, God!
281
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,257
The Guild has assigned you
a cherry new arch.
282
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,260
-Yeah, a cruddy Level Five.
-It's a start.
283
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,429
Baby steps, sweetie.
Just work the program.
284
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,265
Log some arches.
Earn your way up the ladder.
285
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,518
-I-I can't.
-Yes, you can!
286
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,729
Because you are
the Mighty fucking Monarch.
287
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:32,108
You're a survivor,
just like your namesake.
288
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,526
Every spring,
these little guys
289
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:36,404
migrate thousands of miles
from Mexico to Canada.
290
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,322
They average maybe
50 miles a day,
291
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,074
but little by little,
they get there.
292
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,659
And in the fall,
they pick themselves up,
293
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,786
and they make
the long journey back.
294
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:47,331
The point is, you can do
anything you set your mind to.
295
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:51,252
Because Monarchs never quit.
296
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,503
[ Inhales ]
297
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:55,381
You're right.
Thank you, honey-bunny.
298
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:58,050
I wish you could've met her
when she was alive.
299
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,760
She would've liked you.
300
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,638
Von Helping: I was quite excited
to see your name on my roster.
301
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:05,933
I mean, your grandfather
was a huge inspiration to me.
302
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:08,769
Well, thank you. But my father's
the real reason I'm here.
303
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:11,480
Uh-huh, yeah, I've, uh --
I've heard of him, too.
304
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,649
See, he signed me up
for all these classes,
305
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:16,569
and the truth is I'm not
really interested in science.
306
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,029
Oh, no? What are
you interested in?
307
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,699
Well...
I don't really know.
308
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,492
That's kind of
why I'm in college.
309
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,453
But I definitely know
that I don't --
310
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,204
Want to be
like your father.
311
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:30,541
I myself was born the scion
of a powerful family.
312
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:33,043
Daddy wanted me to go
into the family business.
313
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,503
I can relate.
314
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,173
With all due respect, Professor,
I don't think you can.
315
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,299
It's not just him.
316
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,509
It's his whole
super-science world.
317
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,846
It's like it has its own gravity
that just attracts
318
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,431
all these -- these freaks,
319
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,932
a-and if you're stuck
in his orbit then --
320
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,559
This was Pop.
321
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,728
Pop wanted only
two things in life --
322
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:54,648
to rule the world, and to make
his son just like him.
323
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,193
Uh, also to destroy
Dr. Atomicus,
324
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,652
so three --
three things in life.
325
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:01,155
Y-Your father was a s--
Big time.
326
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:05,451
And, man, did he mess me up.
I went to a really dark place
327
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,036
when I wasn't
much older than you,
328
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,329
but you know what saved me?
329
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,498
The power of science.
330
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,999
Not the kind of power
he was after,
331
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:15,544
I'm talking about the power to
make the world a better place,
332
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,296
the power to help mankind.
333
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,423
That's the kind of power
you need
334
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,466
if you want to escape gravity.
335
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:23,469
-I-I want.
-Then tell you what --
336
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,680
You take just one of my classes,
see if you like it,
337
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,058
and we move on
from there?
338
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,726
Well...okay.
339
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:33,395
What's the least
super-science-y class you have?
340
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,564
All science is super,
young Dean.
341
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,607
Uhh.
342
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,735
Uh, botany.
Let's try you on botany.
343
00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,238
The communal areas are
for your lounging enjoyment.
344
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,156
You'll find the kitchen
one level down
345
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,658
and stocked with
snacks a-plenty.
346
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,576
The shared bathroom
is conveniently
347
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,411
across the hall
from your room --
348
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:53,082
And here is
your honeymoon suite!
349
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,375
[ Speaking in German ]
350
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,417
Uh, questions?
351
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,962
Uh...are you
having ze Wi-Fis?
352
00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:01,465
Ah! Yes. Our network's
named "Rust-4-Life,"
353
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,343
and the password is...
354
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,428
"Kate-Jackson-Meow"?
355
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,930
Please don't share it
with anyone.
356
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:08,764
'Cause it's embarrassing.
357
00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:09,890
So, there's just the matter
358
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,850
of your, uh,
[clears throat] rent.
359
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,020
It's $250 per night,
plus the $30 cleaning fee --
360
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,480
Cash! Aces.
361
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,441
[ Clears throat ] Well, I hope
you enjoy your stay,
362
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,819
and thanks again
for choosing AirB&Me --
363
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:24,697
a wholly-owned
subsidiary of HankCo.
364
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,079
Hey, Mami.
I like what I see.
365
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,664
Ugh. Piss off,
you pervert.
366
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,624
Aw, why you gotta
be like that?
367
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,294
I mean it, you dickhead.
I've got mace!
368
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,628
And I've got flowers!
369
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,590
Hank! Jesus!
What are you doing here?
370
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,842
I suddenly found myself
flush with cash
371
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,719
and wanted to share
the wealth with my best gal.
372
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,346
What say we paint the town?
You name the color.
373
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,140
Aw, that's sweet,
boo-boo.
374
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,392
But I told you --
I got class.
375
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:54,935
But that was this morning.
376
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,353
Yeah, I got more than one.
377
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,397
It's college.
Well, that seems excessive.
378
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,691
Look, I-I gotta go.
I'm gonna be late.
379
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:03,277
We will do something
this weekend, okay?
380
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,361
I promise.
[ Smooches ]
381
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,740
Oh-oh.
O-kay.
382
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,117
Mm-hmm.
383
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,328
Mm-hmm.
384
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,622
Hey, how do I look?
You look good.
385
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,290
Well... except don't
do that with your face.
386
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:17,750
Ugh. Can't help it.
387
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,002
This gel,
it's just so stiff.
388
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,253
I need pliable hold!
389
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,006
At least you don't look like
Piter De Vries anymore.
390
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,132
Who the hell is Piter --
391
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,885
Oh! He's from one of
your geek things, isn't he?
392
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,095
So, uh, what's the deal
with this new arch?
393
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,430
Is he cool or what?
394
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,891
"Professor
Victor Von Helping."
395
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:36,685
Ooh. Guess not.
Helping. So cheesy.
396
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,688
"Dean of Sciences, Stuyvesant
University," blah-blah-blah,
397
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,858
"Active member of Greenpeace,
Doctors Without Borders."
398
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,318
Oh, shit!
399
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,362
Oh, my God, guess
whose kid he is?
400
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,114
Holy! Is that
Vigo Von Hellfire?!
401
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,449
He's, like, Guild Royalty.
402
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:51,825
Apparently, little Victor
403
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,535
was being groomed
for the family business
404
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,245
but had a change
of heart after,
405
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,999
"A freak super-science accident
left him hideously scarred
406
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,793
on over 80% of his body."
407
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,961
Ew. Is he all
melty-looking and stuff?
408
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:06,006
No. He looks fine.
Huh. Handsome, even.
409
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,676
In, like, a Paul Atreides
kind way.
410
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:12,012
Ugh, geek! Geek! Geek!
Sorry! Sorry!
411
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,477
[ Door opens ]
Hiya, stranger.
412
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,853
We botany buddies?
413
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,480
[ Chuckles ] I thought
you was quittin' science.
414
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,440
No. Just my dad's
kind of science.
415
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,733
Ugh! Tell me about it.
416
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,860
My dad tried to push me
into marine biology,
417
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,237
but, like, no
fucking thank you.
418
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,613
Are you
out of your mind?
419
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,864
That didn't work out
so hot for him, you know?
420
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,867
Or me, to be quite honest.
I know, right?
421
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,578
It's like they don't even see
what their whole obsession
422
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,580
with super-science
is doing to their own kids.
423
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,916
You know I'm a clone?
Me and Hank both.
424
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:43,168
Yeah, I know. He told me.
How messed up is that?!
425
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,421
Not as messed up
as being, like, dead.
426
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,880
So, you know...
427
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,465
maybe super-science
ain't all bad.
428
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,093
Brr! Hoo! It's a brisk one
out there!
429
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,428
Sorry I'm late, students.
430
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,096
Ah, well.
431
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,432
Looks like it's just
the three of us, then.
432
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,809
[ Glass shatters ]
Not anymore!
433
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,478
The Monarch is
auditing this class!
434
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,439
[ Laughs evilly ]
435
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,108
Oh! Hey.
Hey, Dean Venture!
436
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,028
No, no, no, no!
437
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,988
[ Beeping ]
438
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,616
[ Grunts ]
439
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,619
[ Gasps ]
440
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,876
[ Sighs deeply ]
441
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:25,961
[ Clicks ]
442
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:27,421
[ Groans ]
443
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,131
Hank.
444
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,509
Hey, Pop? You awake?
445
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:33,802
[ Sighs ]
446
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,554
♪ Lay your head
on my shoulder... ♪
447
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,015
[ Imitates Doc ] Well, hello
there, son. How was your day?
448
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,017
[ As self ]
Honestly, it started good
449
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,436
but turned out to be
kind of a bummer.
450
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,980
[ As Doc ] Well, that doesn't
sound very Hank of you.
451
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,607
[ As self ] Yeah, well,
it ain't easy maintaining
452
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,150
my famous can-do attitude
453
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:51,153
when you're always
all "can't-don't" to me.
454
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,613
[ Sighs ]
455
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:53,864
I don't get it.
456
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:55,824
I mean, Dean cuts and runs
on Team Venture,
457
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,242
and you give him
whatever he wants.
458
00:17:57,326 --> 00:18:00,537
But I stick around,
and you punish me for it.
459
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:01,872
I mean, I know
he's your favorite,
460
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,874
but do you have
to act like it?
461
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,002
♪ Take my hand,
I can take you there ♪
462
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:11,381
♪ I feel a little fragile
'cause I think you don't care ♪
463
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:11,381
I just feel so,
kind of alone now that --
464
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,050
What is that?
465
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:17,721
♪ Well, take my hand,
I can take you there ♪
466
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,849
♪ I'm feeling kinda fragile
'cause I --♪
467
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,561
[ Clears throat ] They --
They say that music helps.
468
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,188
[ Doc murmurs indistinctly ]
469
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,731
See?
470
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,819
I-I heard music.
Am I dreaming?
471
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,904
It's no dream, Pop, it's --
472
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:36,657
Wait a minute, uh,
how much did you hear?
473
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:41,036
You really came to see me?
Yeah. I-I guess I did.
474
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:46,250
Aww. I want you to know,
you've always been my favorite.
475
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:49,211
I love you...
476
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,630
... Kate Jackson...
477
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,215
Hank?!
478
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,424
It's game night, man!
479
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,052
I'm comin' for that flat screen!
480
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:59,805
What are you doin'?
-Alarm went off in Hank's room.
481
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,473
That ain't
Hank's room anymore.
482
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,560
And Hank went out
an hour ago.
483
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,228
We go in on three.
484
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,312
One...
485
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,522
Three!
486
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:11,024
[ Shouting, gunshots ]
487
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,572
No. Nothing.
488
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:17,990
Where is it, Von Hippie?
489
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,783
Where is what?
It's a botany lab.
490
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,953
Is this some kind of
rush-week prank?
491
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:26,999
No, we're your new arches,
you condescending putz!
492
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:30,085
We're here to fight you
and steal your shit!
493
00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:32,671
[ Sighs ] Well, I'm not
going to fight you.
494
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:33,589
Okay, that'll work.
495
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,465
[ Clanks ]
Ah! Motherf--
496
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:38,594
Nice. Step aside,
you child...
497
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:39,887
[ Clanks ]
Ow!
498
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,388
This is absolutely broken!
499
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:44,349
Why is there metal...
-This is just fucking sad.
500
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,268
Oh, shut up!
21! Grab her!
501
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,521
-Dude, that's Wide Wale's dau--
-Do it!
502
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,939
Really?
503
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,939
Hey!
504
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,816
Now give us your
secret science shit!
505
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,192
Or my number two's gonna go
506
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,903
"Mama had a baby
and its head popped off"
507
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,030
on your little
dandelion here!
508
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,573
Enough!
509
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,283
Do as you like to me,
510
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:05,203
but you do not
threaten my students!
511
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,665
All right, okay, just --
512
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,665
You wanted to get
a rise out me.
513
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:09,708
Well, how do
you like me now?
514
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,001
Okay, just everybody
calm down...
515
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:13,670
How do you like facing
the full wrath
516
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,131
of Professor Victor
Von Hellfire?!
517
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:16,924
Aah!
518
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,216
No! No, please, Professor!
519
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,052
Don't let him drag you
down to his level.
520
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,053
Hey!
521
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,180
What's it gonna take,
Monarch, huh?!
522
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:26,141
To rid my life of creeps
like you once and for all?!
523
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:29,019
Why do you even do this?!
Do you even know anymore?!
524
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,146
Oh, what do you know,
rich bitch?!
525
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,814
You never had to work
for a living.
526
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,900
Taking shit arches
instead of doing
527
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,193
what you really want to do?!
528
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:38,236
Or hating who you
really want to hate!
529
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:42,991
Fine! There's only one way
to end this, then, isn't there?
530
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,326
Gun!
531
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:46,536
One...million...
532
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,788
dollars.
533
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,748
There!
Is that gonna be enough
534
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,667
for you to leave
my professor alone,
535
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,542
to leave me alone?
536
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,669
Huh?!
537
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,171
Wha -- I...
Uh, yeah?
538
00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:57,172
Then --
539
00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,882
Oh. Uh, okay.
540
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,050
T-That okay with you,
Professor?
541
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:03,011
I should be calling
you Professor.
542
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,222
Because you've taught
me something here
tonight, young Dean.
543
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,100
Oh, my God!
Can we please leave this
544
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:10,060
After-School Special?
-Oh, uh...
545
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:12,020
but first can
we get you to sign this?
546
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,564
Standard Guild form 4-B
Arch confirmation...
547
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:18,235
Oh, of course. Oh. [ Chuckles ]
I seem to have lost my pen.
548
00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:21,238
Hey, are you okay?
Oh, please, are you kidding me?
549
00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:23,907
I grew up around
Level Nines and Tens.
550
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:26,201
These guys are,
like, negative threes.
551
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:28,412
I dunno what they were, they --
that was an embarrassment.
552
00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:31,873
Um, but you're --
but you're so sweet for asking.
553
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,459
My hero. [ Chuckles ]
[ Smooches ]
554
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,712
Oh! Oh, come on.
555
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,880
It was nothin'.
I didn't...
556
00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:42,551
Oh, no!
557
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:51,810
♪♪
558
00:21:51,893 --> 00:22:01,570
♪♪
559
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:10,912
♪♪
560
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,415
Dr. Girlfriend:
Top earner for the month!
561
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,167
Oh, so proud!
562
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:18,420
I knew you could do it, honey.
Even Z was impressed.
563
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:19,588
He sent this over.
564
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:28,555
♪♪
565
00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:29,347
Geek!