1
00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:05,922
Monarch:
I always wondered what was up
with this creepy building.
2
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:09,718
Welcome to The Guild
of Calamitous Intent.
3
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:10,844
Ta-daaaa!
4
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:13,680
Please step on the grating
and put these on.
5
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,348
Have you eaten breakfast?
-No.
6
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,850
-Not yet.
-Good.
7
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,894
-Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
-Are you kidding me?!
8
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,439
[ Clattering ]
9
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,815
[ Creaking ]
10
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:27,444
Here she is --
Guild Strategic Operations.
11
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,612
Research and development,
agent training,
12
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,699
covert undertakings,
scams-shams-&-oh-damns,
13
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,160
this is where
it all goes down.
14
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:36,661
Every one of these doors
15
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,373
leads into the future
of organized evil.
16
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,459
Shut the fucking door.
17
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:43,918
E-Except for that door.
18
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,170
That's the men's room.
19
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,546
Ladies' room!
20
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:48,715
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
21
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:53,261
♪♪
22
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,512
I-It's not
what it looks like!
23
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,306
Dude, you have
the wrong door again.
24
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:59,058
Right door.
This is the B.T.C. --
25
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,312
Blackmail Training Center.
These women are Guild agents.
26
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:05,774
And that man has the job
I apply for every year.
27
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,818
And denied.
28
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:09,986
The S.A.C. --
29
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:12,155
The Surgical
Alteration Center.
30
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,324
Here, after multiple
surgical processes,
31
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,159
we alter our agents
to take the place
32
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,870
of the world's
most powerful people.
33
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:23,500
Dave Grohl?
You made a guy into Dave Grohl?
34
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,752
Nobody refuses Dave Grohl.
35
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,921
He got a Beatle
to be in his band.
36
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,924
And King Diamond!
You try that, smart ass.
37
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:33,968
The Guild H.T.C. --
38
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,595
Hypnosis Training Center.
39
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:36,846
Here we train agents
in the use
40
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,973
of our own method
of speed induction.
41
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,559
[ Scoffs ]
Hypnosis doesn't really work.
42
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,603
Oh, yeah,
complete myth.
43
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,313
Sleep!
44
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,234
[ Animals snarling ]
45
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,360
Uh, no way.
Screw this!
46
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,529
Relax.
This is the H.T.C.
47
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,782
The Hologram Training Center.
Observe.
48
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,534
These are harmless,
projected imag--
49
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,577
Okay, no, this is real.
50
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,746
Wait, no,
this is the V.A.T.C. --
51
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,165
The Vicious Animal
Training Center.
52
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,794
Uh...
who's a good ocelot?
53
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:11,464
Let's just leave
really slowly.
54
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:15,552
[ Door closes ]
55
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:15,552
Watch: See? We really need
to label these doors.
56
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:19,055
This the Guild
Interrogation Hub.
57
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,765
What, it's not the G.I.H.?
58
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,225
No.
Why would it be that?
59
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,394
So, anything interest you?
60
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,563
We were looking more
for field work.
61
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,106
Ya know, something
to help us level up.
62
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,233
Well, the best thing for that
is to be a good earner.
63
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:35,405
You bring in lotted technology,
intel, severed heads, cash...
64
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,240
Oh, there's the
Big Villain program.
65
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,992
Tutor a Guild
newbie for a day,
66
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,952
get massive brownie points
at your review board.
67
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,997
I don't know. Maybe?
I -- Who do I got to tutor?
68
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,209
Uh, the only one available
today is St. Cloud.
69
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:52,714
Level one. Arching Billy Quizboy
and the Pink Pilgrim.
70
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,966
Dude!
They work for Venture!
71
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:57,260
It's Big-headed Billy
and that albino guy.
72
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,887
We got to do this.
73
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,097
Sweet! We are so in.
74
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:03,766
-Oops. Sorry.
-Please, do not touch anything.
75
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,436
Hey, that's my wife.
Hi, sweetness!
76
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,730
That's secret Guild business,
Mr. Monarch.
77
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,441
Let's get you
to your Little Villain.
78
00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:15,403
We can make this nice
and comfortable for you.
79
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,780
You just confess to being a
member of the Peril Partnership,
80
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,783
and you're a double agent
for the Guild by lunch time.
81
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,577
I'm buying. Turkey subs?
82
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,370
And if I don't?
83
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,456
Well, that's treason.
84
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,291
The punishment
for that is a classic.
85
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:29,500
It's called the Tub.
86
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,044
It's filled with milk,
you lay in it,
87
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,962
if you're hungry
we pour honey on your face.
88
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,048
That sounds kind of nice,
actually.
89
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,800
At first -- ya know,
till the milk spoils.
90
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,886
Soon the tub fills
with your excrement,
91
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,263
then the flies,
and their maggots.
92
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,683
At first it itches a bit,
then it starts to burn.
93
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,852
Your skin peels away
with every scratch
94
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,480
you can't stop
yourself from making.
95
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,733
The blood mixes with the
foul milk and excrement,
96
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,818
seeping into
your open wounds.
97
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,154
The smell of your own death
causes you to vomit
98
00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:01,866
into your already toxic coffin.
Then the rats.
99
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:06,329
Oh, right,
yeah, the Peril Partnership.
100
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:07,580
Is that what you're...
101
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,874
Yes,
let's talk about them.
102
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:15,672
#21:
How? He owns the X-2?
103
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,508
How the hell is this guy
only a level one Antagonist?
104
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,760
Right? The X-2?
105
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,096
I haven't been aboard
this thing in years.
106
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,515
It's like visiting
the house you grew up in...
107
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,017
if you, like, buried
a dead guy behind it.
108
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,852
Ugh. So eerily familiar.
109
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,521
#21:
Ya know what looks familiar?
110
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,274
That. That's Blue Thunder.
Roy Scheider flew that!
111
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:38,111
Dude, remember how ripped
he was in "Marathon Man"?
112
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,696
He was like Bruce Lee.
113
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,740
Frigg'n Roy Scheider --
"Jaws" dad, secret six pack.
114
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,785
Who knew?
Ahoy, gentlemen.
115
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,870
Welcome aboard the X-2,
116
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,540
as seen on
"The Rusty Venture Show."
117
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,542
Ah, uh, hello,
there, uh, son.
118
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,086
Uh, do you know where
Mr. St. Cloud is?
119
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:59,257
Oh, goodie, I'm being
hazed by my Big Villain.
120
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,969
And I wore my rubber panties
just in case you tickle me.
121
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,513
I always make wee-wee
with tickles.
122
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,641
Are you fucking
kidding me?
123
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,643
That's St. Cloud?
124
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,562
[ Car horns honking ]
125
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,939
[ Door opens ]
Dr. Venture: I brought crullers!
126
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,233
And one apple fritter
that's mine.
127
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:18,985
And two of the crullers
are mine as well.
128
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,070
Where are you guys?
Freeze!
129
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,364
All right, prove that
you're the real Doc.
130
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,950
This is totally
a laser gun.
131
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,911
No. And what is that,
a caulk gun?
132
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,080
Show what we got
in the mail this morning.
133
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,833
♪♪
134
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,711
"Welcome to your demise,
yada yada yada"...
135
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,589
Mm-hmm.
[ Mumbles indistinctly ] Yeah.
136
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,924
You guys, this is
a boilerplate Guild threat.
137
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,135
Please.
138
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,135
I tried
to tell him that.
139
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:46,387
Liar! You're as freaked
as I am, White!
140
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,639
Billy, it's a scroll.
Hello?
141
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,932
It's like being scared
of a book report
142
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,934
on the Declaration
of Independence.
143
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,520
Did you not read the part
that mentioned disemboweling?
144
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,106
It personally threatens
my intestines.
145
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,441
[ Sighs ]
146
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,776
Come in, Brock.
147
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,487
We have a level one
Guild arching threat.
148
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,281
Brock: So? What do you want,
an aspirin or something?
149
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,033
See? It's nothing.
150
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:08,284
Where do you keep
the caulk?
151
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,203
I got to load
this bad-boy.
152
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:13,331
Just keep an eye on basic
Peril Partnership operations.
153
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:16,167
You're more like a concerned
friend than a spy.
154
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:19,962
And you'll help me
with my problem?
155
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,965
Sign it, and I'll do
everything I can to --
156
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,965
[ Door opens ]
157
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,094
So you don't want to talk,
huh, punky pall?
158
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,387
Does a cat
have your tongue?
159
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,389
Well, I am just the dog to get
that cat off of your tongue!
160
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,643
Where is the disrupter ray,
Mr. Think-you're-tuff-guy?!
161
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,061
What are you
talking about?
162
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,187
He's agreed
to work with us
163
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,314
if we help him get
his girlfriend back.
164
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:39,649
Help get his girlfriend back?
165
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,151
Is this interrogation
room 8-C?
166
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,320
This is room 8-B.
167
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:45,488
My mistake.
168
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,657
You have no need
of my super-intimidating
169
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,450
bad cop routine.
170
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,328
What you need
is a make-over!
171
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:55,164
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
172
00:06:55,248 --> 00:07:07,343
♪♪
173
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:18,521
♪♪
174
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,107
♪♪
175
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,859
[ Laughs ]
176
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,194
Then we all
get milkshakes!
177
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,196
-We're not going.
-I don't want to do that.
178
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,740
♪♪
179
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,409
#21: Look at all this stuff!
180
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:34,579
That's the 1973 "Sigmund
and the Sea Monster" suit.
181
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,081
Where did he get this?
182
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,167
I like his albino.
Quiet.
183
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,668
You should take notes
on this guy.
184
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:41,961
Ta-da!
185
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,547
My snazzy villain ensemble.
186
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,965
Ah...I don't get it.
187
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,049
No, no,
he's a lightening cloud.
188
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,218
Ya know -- St. Cloud,
cloud hat?
189
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,471
Should it be tighter,
mm, sexier?
190
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,432
Ooh, God, no!
It's already --
191
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,893
Okay, no -- It's a start.
So, what's your weaponry, eh?
192
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,562
Can you lay down like
a blinding smoke cloud,
193
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:02,106
or does lighting
come from your hat?
194
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,192
These are made
of foam core.
195
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,568
Do you have
any super powers?
196
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,069
Like, ya know,
were you bit
197
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,197
by a radioactive bug
or anything?
198
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,075
Mm, well, I do have Lupus,
Fibromyalgia,
199
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,119
and Restless Leg Syndrome.
200
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,996
Mm, maybe we can work
with the restless leg?
201
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,040
-Stop.
-Super restless leg.
202
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,082
-That's dumb.
-All right, fine.
203
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,376
So, you have no
special abilities?
204
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,920
-I have money.
-Perfect!
205
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,756
We'll get a top-of-the-line
lightning rifle, and, uh --
206
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,133
Cloud bombs loaded
with nerve gas.
207
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,219
Level one, dude,
level one.
208
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:34,972
Cloud bombs
with laughing gas.
209
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:38,893
Billy!
Let's go in there.
210
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,270
Come on, you can't hide
in the can all day.
211
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,814
I got a belly full of crullers
and a delicate colon.
212
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,107
Let's go!
213
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,652
There are like 10
bathrooms in this --
214
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,070
Ow.
215
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,070
[ Laughs ]
216
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,446
-You're dead.
-What the hell?
217
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:51,739
I thought we were in time out.
218
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,491
I told you this --
Never be standing
219
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:54,784
behind the door you open.
220
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,327
It could have been
a kill-bot with my voice
221
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,955
programmed into it.
I actually made one of those.
222
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,457
His name was Guardo,
and he could've just killed you.
223
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:04,293
Behind every door is a threat,
every sound is a warning,
224
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,796
every shadow is a villain,
every step is a --
225
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,881
[ Gun fires ]
Gah!
226
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,299
How in the hell did you --
227
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,759
Billy looked at you.
228
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,344
I'm armed,
but my back is still turned.
229
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:16,305
You're only wounded.
Come at me, hand to hand.
230
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,141
Keep low, break my balance.
If you have an edge weapon...
231
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,393
He just ran away,
didn't he?
232
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,229
Oh, yeah. I-I'm pretty sure
he was crying.
233
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,108
Monarch: More smoke!
234
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,193
Now throw your catch phrase.
235
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,737
St. Cloud:
Look out, do-gooders.
236
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:32,989
Use the P.A.!
237
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,740
You're supposed
to be big and scary!
238
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,284
Reset!
239
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,244
[ Echoing ]
I hope you brought rubbers,
240
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,329
because a storm
is coming.
241
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,040
That's nasty,
and not even a little scary.
242
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,960
Rubbers?
243
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,960
Uh, rain booties.
244
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,004
Don't improve! Reset!
245
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:51,299
Hey,
what flavor is this fog?
246
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,509
It's making me hungry.
Pineapple!
247
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:57,263
Now come out of the smoke
and give your evil laugh.
248
00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,016
Over here!
You're facing the wrong way!
249
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,310
The fog is disorienting.
250
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:03,519
Evil laugh!
251
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:04,687
I will get you...
252
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,106
[ Laughs awkwardly ]
253
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,274
What the hell was that?
254
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,442
Are you having
an asthma attack?
255
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,445
That was my evil laugh.
Ugh, it's disgusting.
256
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:14,947
I mean, it's scary,
but in like that gross way.
257
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,701
You need a real, from the gut,
bone crusher of a laugh.
258
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,786
Reset.
Real evil laugh!
259
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,663
Do not embarrass me
in front of Venture.
260
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,458
[ Softly ]
Mah-ha-hahaha...mm.
261
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,294
Ew. Will you stop putting
that weird groan at the end?
262
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,380
Here, listen to a pro.
Show him an evil laugh.
263
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,923
[ Chuckles ]
264
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,051
Gladly.
[ Cracks neck ]
265
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:40,723
[ Laughs maniacally ]
266
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,100
Reset!
267
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,356
[ Elevator chimes ]
268
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:52,735
Don't put on the kettle,
I'm not staying --
269
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,362
just got to pick my clubs.
270
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,072
What the hell
are you doing here?
271
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,740
Shh. [ Hushed ]
Brock is training us to fight,
272
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,910
so I'm doing what I do best,
which is to secretly cower.
273
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,828
[ Hushed ] Oh.
Hey, that reminds me...
274
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:06,040
[ Normal voice ]
Damn it!
275
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:06,040
[ Laughs ]
276
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,501
I said trust nobody!
277
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,878
♪♪
278
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,671
Ugh,
I want this car so bad.
279
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:16,634
I know you do. So,
ready to pull your first penis?
280
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,344
That sounds unappetizing.
281
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,304
Oh, no, penis is just
an acronym, uh,
282
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,557
for Preliminary Effective
New Information Schooling.
283
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,102
It's like recon, but, uh,
you bust shit up.
284
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,938
Then why not call it recon
instead of penis?
285
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,356
[ Chuckles ]
Instead of what?
286
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,607
Instead of penis.
287
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,942
[ Chuckling ]
288
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,942
Of what?
289
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,236
-Of penis.
-I can't hear you back there.
290
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:39,448
Penis. I said penis.
Penis!
291
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,534
[ Humming ]
292
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:44,537
Yeah, the O.S.I.
never changes their passwords.
293
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:48,457
And, boom, here she is --
Agent Kimberly McManus.
294
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,128
Ooo-laa-lushious!
Way to go, S-464.
295
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,380
Ladies do love
exposed brains.
296
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,298
How do you know
what she looks like?
297
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,634
That's melt-in-your-mouth code
we're looking at.
298
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,136
She's working daycare.
299
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,471
Level One arches, surveillance,
intervention...
300
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,641
Do we have any Level One
arches scheduled today?
301
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:07,852
One -- Augustus St. Cloud.
302
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,646
He just put in a requisition
for a Level One lightning rifle
303
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:14,358
and laughing gas grenades.
And he paid in cash.
304
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,485
Dolla-dolla bills,
my brotha.
305
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,485
All right.
306
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,864
Uh, upgrade the lightning rifle
to level six and send it out.
307
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,909
Mm, six level lighting --
that should get her attention.
308
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,370
She'll have to intervene
on a treaty violation,
309
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,789
so will we, and you will
get your lady back.
310
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,583
Isn't that,
like, dangerous?
311
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,668
We're The Guild
of Calamitous Intent.
312
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,044
We're the bad-guys.
313
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,172
Own it, gentlemen.
314
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,261
[ Glass shatters ]
Uh...Ow.
315
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,597
[ Sighs ] Eh...
316
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,391
[ Clears throat ]
I am Augustus St. Cloud,
317
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,768
arch nemesis of The Quizboy.
318
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,855
I'm here to bust things up
and chew bubble gum,
319
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,108
and I find bubble gum
unpleasant.
320
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,902
[ Scottish accent ]
Oh, ho-ho, laddie boy...
321
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,902
[ Cracks knuckles ]
322
00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:00,863
you chose the wrong place
to talk tough.
323
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,448
Rose? Rose, dear?
324
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,408
There's a wee-little
pest in here!
325
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,410
You're...stronger
than anticipated.
326
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,704
Oh, they're just
water bugs, Horace.
327
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:10,789
Honestly.
Oh, hello, there.
328
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,584
He says he's here
to bust things up.
329
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,212
Apparently,
he's your son's nemesis.
330
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,214
You want to hurt my Billy?
331
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,548
Horace, put him down.
332
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,759
Mamma bear wants
a piece of that action.
333
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:25,596
Oh, you're in for quite
the pummeling, there, sonny.
334
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,223
I'll let you take
the first swing,
335
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,641
and if you don't
put me down
336
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,768
I'll beat the living
shit out of you
337
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:35,314
till my arthritis kicks in,
and I just took my Humira.
338
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,484
[ Helicopter rotors whirring ]
339
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:49,828
♪♪
340
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,456
Ugh,
who the hell is this now?
341
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,500
Didn't you say
I'm clear for a while?
342
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,960
This isn't for you,
it's for them.
343
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,796
I'm sorry! I had to put
this place down as our Sanctum.
344
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,257
My place is filled
with helpless old people.
345
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,716
-What does it say?
-[ Sighs ]
346
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:07,429
"I will get you.
Mruu-haha."
347
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,598
-Who's Mruu-haha?
-[ Sighs ]
348
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,850
It's an evil laugh,
Billy.
349
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,850
Wait a minute.
350
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,436
That's exactly how The Monarch
spells his evil laugh,
351
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,438
with the stupid
M, R, and two U's.
352
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,315
You think
that's a coincidence?
353
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:19,942
I think
it just got personal.
354
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:24,071
Boys, get your coats on.
We're stepping up our game.
355
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,614
♪♪
356
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,367
[ Case unlatches ]
357
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,787
Pei put makeup on me.
How does it look?
358
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,789
Less like an old woman
beat your face,
359
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:37,042
but more like if Michael Kors
worked at the Wonka factory.
360
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,295
Mmm, goody.
So, what's in the case?
361
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,840
That, my Little Villain,
is your new lightning rifle.
362
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,426
21, why don't you tell 'em
what six figures gets ya
363
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:46,802
at the Guild company store.
364
00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:49,346
Rubberized titanium
stock and hand guard,
365
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,681
air assisted charging handle.
366
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,642
Activation bolt,
energy magazine release,
367
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,061
gives you 10 level-one
rated blasts,
368
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,938
regulated here at
the ejection port...
369
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,938
[ Rifle cocks ]
370
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,357
balance at the handle, which
doubles as a rear sight drum.
371
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,567
And that's all the cookies
372
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,069
I need to sell
to get my merit badge.
373
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,530
-Here, give her a go.
-[ Groans ]
374
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,033
Owie.
I landed on my bum-bum.
375
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:12,536
[ Groans ] Help him up and
get him changed for his arching.
376
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,330
Damn it,
it was so cool until then.
377
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,415
[ Lighter clicks ]
378
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,583
Quizboy: Four months?!
379
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,335
We need these costumes
tonight --
380
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:20,794
like, in a couple hours!
381
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,588
Oh, you no just steal suits
382
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,591
like-a this beautiful
rogue here?
383
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:29,261
Ah! Enzo no stay mad.
Rusty good man -- mostly.
384
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,889
Enzo. Enzo?
385
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:34,892
You don't have any old rentals
for special friends?
386
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:38,437
You play Enzo's
heart strings! Okay!
387
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,564
For the pink man,
yes, but for him?
388
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,858
He's like a bambino.
389
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:45,736
Oh, but his head is
like big strong man,
390
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:49,448
like-a man maybe
six meters tall. Molto grande!
391
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,200
I'll pay double rental.
392
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:52,618
I want these guys invincible
393
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,620
for their first
New York arching.
394
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,622
Ooh! First time?
395
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:59,625
So exciting.
I set you up.
396
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,377
But Enzo no hear that!
397
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,796
Enzo, he know nothing.
398
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,049
[ Car horns honking ]
399
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,969
Hey, move that thing
outta here, buddy!
400
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,639
Not gonna happy, pal!
The engine died.
401
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,684
Will you take
West 56th already?
402
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:20,688
Agent McManus, in position.
403
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,190
Level one arches
are so cush these days.
404
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,734
They never blocked traffic
for us when we were coming up.
405
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,070
[ Hissing in distance ]
I smell pineapple.
406
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,197
It is show time!
407
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,158
[ Yelling ]
408
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,660
Should we go watch now?
409
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,413
Mm, yuck.
After I finish this latte.
410
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,539
It was nine dollars.
411
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:41,166
Nine. For a latte.
412
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,419
♪♪
413
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,255
Ugh. Come on!
414
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,589
You got to get out there!
415
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,467
Quizboy: No way!
I'm not wearing this!
416
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,886
Billy,
from 1962 till puberty,
417
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,347
Delta Boy of Venus
kicked ass in that suit.
418
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,598
It's nigh impenetrable,
419
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,184
now get out there
and kick some ass!
420
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,270
It can't be any
worse than White's.
421
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,438
Seriously?
422
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,565
I-I really thought a guy
called "Killer Drone"
423
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,650
would've had
a cooler costume.
424
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:11,697
Wow. You look like
a real super hero.
425
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,115
You look like a can
of Diet Pepsi.
426
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:16,118
At least I don't look like the
girl from the Blind Melon video.
427
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,619
Well, her stinger
didn't shoot darts,
428
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,164
and her wings
didn't actually work.
429
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,040
Huh? Huh?
430
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,876
Yeah, okay,
these don't either.
431
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,836
St. Cloud: Billy Quizboy!
432
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,714
A storm is coming for you.
433
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:31,341
Put on your rubbers. Mm.
434
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:32,509
#21: Oh, so close!
435
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,429
My God!
Don't improvise!
436
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,389
Hear my thunder!
437
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,475
Fear my lighting!
438
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:40,726
[ Thunder rumbles, crashes ]
439
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,895
[ Yells ]
What the [bleep]?!
440
00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:45,314
That rifle's supposed
to be a stun gun!
441
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,358
♪♪
442
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,195
W-What do we do? I don't have
any weapons or anything.
443
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:54,114
Don't worry, White shoots
darts from his butt.
444
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:58,660
Your job is to give
a heroic speech.
445
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,288
Now get out there
and do me proud.
446
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,332
It's Level One, Billy.
It's a show.
447
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:06,251
He stuns you, you stun him,
he vows revenge,
448
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,838
and then you tell him that good
always triumphs over evil.
449
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,215
-Does it?
-Of course not.
450
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,509
Now get out there
and get this crap over with.
451
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,052
You're blocking traffic.
452
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,472
Oh, and he's taken out
like it's trash day.
453
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:19,723
Swing and a miss!
454
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,100
Way to go, Venture!
Love the costumes!
455
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,479
They look nothing like you
rescued them from Lidsville!
456
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:26,688
Oh! He's coming out!
457
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,024
And he's facing
the right way!
458
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:31,193
Oh, you brought your albino?
459
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,570
Coward.
I left mine at home.
460
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,364
I'm not his albino.
461
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,241
People don't own albinos!
462
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,284
Eat my darts, St. Cloud!
463
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,786
[ Grunts ]
464
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,288
-Ugh.
-So undignified.
465
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,874
Were we this bad
when we started?
466
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,544
Agent McManus, O.S.I.
I'm shutting this down.
467
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:52,130
I've suspicions that your man
has an unregistered rifle.
468
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,967
Kimberly.
It's me, S-464.
469
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,387
Oh, fantastic.
You're on daycare duty, too?
470
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,847
Perfect. Just great.
471
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,348
And in the darkest night,
472
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,267
even when you can't
find a flashlight
473
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,936
that isn't, like,
out of batteries or something,
474
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,981
good always
prevails over evil.
475
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,649
Take this, Quizboy.
476
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:13,193
[ Laughs awkwardly ]
477
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,279
[ Moans ]
478
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:18,949
Evil laugh fail --
And he's just gassed himself.
479
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:22,703
Ah!
[ Coughing distance, groaning ]
480
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:23,662
What's my wife doing here?
481
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:27,666
[ Coughing, laughter ]
482
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,793
[ Laughing ]
What the hell?
483
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,754
Is this laughing gas?
You -- you moron!
484
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,089
-[ Laughing ] St. Cloud...
-[ Giggling ]
485
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,718
...you asshole!
It's go time!
486
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,220
Oh, I'm so woozy.
White?
487
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,557
I'm gonna puke in
my Delta Boy suit.
488
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,017
[ Giggling continues ]
[ Thunder crashes ]
489
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:48,186
St. Cloud: [ Laughing ]
Who has my rifle?
490
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,565
The Peril Partnership are scum,
honor-less scum!
491
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:54,026
I said I was done with you,
and I meant it!
492
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,445
Oh, my God, will you
give him a chance?
493
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,613
I'm sorry, who are you?
494
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,157
Uh...excuse me?
You heard me?
495
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,702
Uh, listen, you O.S.I. lackey,
I will wipe the floor
496
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:04,995
with your fat,
trucker ass.
497
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:07,205
I don't care if he loves you,
set all this up,
498
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,208
and is help us spy on the
Peril Partnership all for you,
499
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:13,879
'cause I am going to kick
the shit out of you.
500
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,464
You're a double agent?
501
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,800
You did all this for me?
Why didn't you just tell me?
502
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,385
No, no, no!
Screw this happy-ending crap!
503
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,262
This bitch is gonna
get a beatdown!
504
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:25,057
Uh...Councilwoman Smith!
[ Laughs ]
505
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,975
I'm so glad
you answered my call.
506
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,770
My Little Villain had
a mishap with his rifle.
507
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:30,979
Why don't you two take off?
508
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,648
There's gonna be
tons of paperwork,
509
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,983
and, uh, there's no reason
to ruin all our nights.
510
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,526
We will handle this.
511
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,987
You would've lost your seat on
the council if you'd fought her.
512
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,657
[ Sighs ] Thanks.
You saved my life.
513
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,700
No, I saved your job.
514
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,952
I just saved
that woman's life.
515
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:48,413
You would've
kicked her ass.
516
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,832
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
517
00:20:50,916 --> 00:21:02,844
♪♪
518
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:11,520
♪♪
519
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:16,316
♪♪
520
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,151
Quizboy: So, he shoots me
with his rifle, right,
521
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:19,528
and I thought,
"I'm dead, this is it."
522
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,947
Me, too! Ah, there were
all these sparks...
523
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,323
-Oh!
-...flying around him.
524
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,367
But the suit, the giant suit,
it absorbed the blast,
525
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,952
and there I am,
still standing.
526
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,662
And then I started
kicking him, right?
527
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,831
Like "Goodfellas" style,
just -- just wailing on him.
528
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,958
Huh? Uh! Uh!
529
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,958
Beatin' on his rib cage
with his foot.
530
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:34,793
Go get your damn
shine box, St. Cloud!
531
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:36,336
Ha! How do you like that?
Huh?
532
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:38,171
Well, White is just goin'
at his rib cage like it's --
533
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,464
like there's money in it.
-Right? Oh, totally!
534
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:42,467
We housed him.
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
535
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,177
When, uh, when are you
gonna tell 'em
536
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,304
that they were
hallucinating on nitrous,
537
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:49,057
and, uh, we found
the three of them asleep
538
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,518
in a little pile?
539
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:52,519
Never.
540
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:56,356
Penis.