It's never too late to go on the adventure of a lifetime.
Jibe-ho!
But, when your experience of sailing on the high seas is limited...
Oh, bloody hell.
This is completely outside our comfort zone.
..and your crewmate is just as rusty...
Argh!
..things don't always go according to plan.
Man overboard.
Ours is that way.
Oh, right.
We're not totally up to it, let's admit that.
We'll attempt to tame this glorious traditional yacht.
I just want to learn, I suppose, can I still do it?
I want to feel master of this fabulous big boat.
At least, not feel too incompetent.
Oh!
Can we pull together as a team?
Come on, John, faster, faster.
I'm going as fast as I humanly can.
Or will old rivalries get the better of us?
OK. Lee ho. Helm's alee, actually. Not in my language.
You shouting puts me off.
As we explore Britain's magnificent coastline.
It's one of the best day's sailing I think I've ever had.
This is proper sailing.
The first leg of our epic adventure
takes us along Britain's southeast coast.
Suffolk may be sun-soaked now,
but I for one am ready for anything
this perilous voyage might throw at us.
These are my essentials, which, of course, is the hat.
That's absolutely critical.
Portly political correspondent John Sergeant's
career spanned over 30 years.
Mrs Thatcher, could I ask you to comment?
No, but good evening. Good evening. Where's the microphone?
It's here. This is the microphone.
But this national treasure will be remembered
as the bloke with two left feet on Strictly.
Feeling a bit nervous, but, actually,
strangely and ridiculously optimistic.
Michael Buerk enjoyed a long and distinguished
career as a newsreader for the BBC.
Good evening. John Major brought the issue of Europe
into the election campaign tonight.
But he'll go down in history as that grumpy man
who came tenth in series 14 of I'm A Celebrity.
We've agreed to meet at the Royal Norfolk And Suffolk Yacht Club -
suitably neutral territory for the reunion of two old rivals.
Meeting one-to-one - we haven't done for a very long time.
Will he look a lot older than me, or will he look younger than me?
That'll be worse, won't it?
What if he looks sort of sprightly, like he used to 30 years ago?
But I don't want him to be hobbling down there with me having to
help him down the last bit, so I don't want that either.
Well, wonderful.
After all these years.
All these years, at last we are together.
You don't look more than a decade older than the last time I saw you.
I've known John a very long time, as a BBC reporter,
but I don't really know him that well.
I'll know him a lot better at the end of this.
You look good. Do I?
And you look as if you know what you're doing.
And we were reporters together more than 30 years ago,
but he then took the high road to be a newsreader,
and I took the low road to go and report on politics.
Have you seen this boat?
It's big. It's impressive.
This does actually frighten me,
the size of this boat, and tides and the wind...
Well, when you're in a marina, when it's catching like this...
Yeah... ..it's much more frightening.
Ah, you see, that's your experience talking.
It's marvellous, listening to you.
I mean, it really is.
What a sea dog. No, what a sea dog...
You haven't brought the parrot today. No, look...
Let's try and give the impression that we know what we're doing
and this is all quite simple. Ah, would you like to follow me? Ah.
Come on. Moment of truth.
For the next month,
John and I will be tackling some of Britain's choppiest waters.
A borderline insane undertaking,
given our modest sailing credentials.
I think you could describe me as a wimpy sailor, actually.
I'm...pretty cautious.
Although I did quite a lot of sailing, I do it with my wife
in the Mediterranean, blue seas, blue skies, no tides!
I don't know how to do tides!
I would say I'm a very, very keen amateur.
I sail every year with my brother, who is brilliant.
He does most of the work, really.
They said it was the end of this jetty, I think.
It is. Oh, gosh.
That's lovely.
This magnificent vessel is Bonaventure,
the 50-foot Bermudan cutter.
Longer, wider and taller than anything we've sailed before.
She'll be our home for the next four weeks.
Look, this is the mast. You'd break your neck looking up at the mast.
Oh, yeah. Break your neck doing it.
Will you be going up the mast, or shall I do that bit?
John'll have a nice view when he gets up there.
That mast is a whopping 70 feet tall.
It's a lovely boat.
Yeah. Yeah, that's lovely. Hello! Oh, hello there.
Fortunately for us, Maritime law dictates that we will have to
be accompanied by two responsible adults.
I tell you what, one look at this, and I did mutter to Michael,
"We can't do this, just the two of us." It's not possible.
I think you might need some help to start with,
and that's why we're here.
Professional sailors Mungo and Stella will be on hand in the
unlikely event our sea legs fail us.
Whoops. Argh!
Great.
Michael, let me help you. Oh, thank you very much.
Poor old boy needs a lot of help.
You'll see this.
Are you OK? Did you manage to...?
No, it's perfectly all right, honestly.
The gout is, is not, is under control at the moment.
Oh... This is the forward cabin. Oh, that looks nice.
Oh, right, that looks snug.
Happily made up into two cosy beds.
Yeah, I don't think we should be that close.
No, I don't think that's on, do you?
No, no. No.
You've got a nice little galley here.
I love this.
This is old-fashioned good, isn't it? It's a conservatory. Lovely.
I think the challenge with this trip is getting on with John.
He's wonderfully funny, but we've never been jammed together.
So we've got two heads on board.
Yeah. Nice teak bathtub. Oh, this is rather nice, isn't it?
You know, I think you'll be all right here. I think I'll be,
actually... And then, John, you've got a similar berth back...
I'm at the back. That's economy class. Oh, is it?
Oh, this is business class.
Business class. Steerage. Steerage, I think it's called.
Michael could be the perfect shipmate,
but you've got to be careful with newsreaders.
They're sitting there telling you things day after day,
day after day, will he do this on the boat?
I just don't know.
Could just go terribly wrong.
This is the engine controls, yep? Yep. Yup.
With departure time approaching, Mungo shows us how we should
pander to our beautiful, big-boned new mistress.
I mean, this is a big thing, isn't it? You've got a big rudder, it's...
You do, yeah. 50-foot boat. How much does it weigh?
It weighs 22 tonnes. 22 tonnes? Yeah.
Could be both of us clinging... I know.
Clinging on for dear life. You might well be.
Right, well, now, let's not think the worst.
You've got to be strong, haven't you, to sail this boat?
You have to be strong to sail a boat, yeah.
But we're not very strong. I think you'll be OK.
Blind faith. Blind faith.
What do you think?
I think she's absolutely lovely, but I was a bit nervous beforehand
and I think I'm a bit more daunted now I actually see it.
It's a lot more complicated than I thought it would be.
It's worrying. That is worrying.
And our creeping sense of dread isn't lessened
by what we read on the charts.
You've got what look to me to be the most extraordinary pattern of
shallows... That's right, yeah.
..off the busiest container port in the United Kingdom.
The first leg of our epic voyage will see us sailing a
distance of 62 nautical miles, from Lowestoft,
past Felixstowe and Brightlingsea, to Bradwell.
I'm actually a bit worried because
it is a long way outside my comfort zone.
Then, to reach our final destination, Ramsgate,
we face the shallows and swirling currents of the Thames Estuary.
Soon, our comfort zone will be little more than a distant memory.
There are tides, there are sandbanks.
It's all of a completely different order of magnitude.
If you've got wind blowing from here and tide going like this...
..then you get big waves.
How rough's it going to be?
We're going to have to be brave, but I think we will be brave
and I think we're going to be able to do it.
Inspiring words, John, but words are cheap.
What we really need to send us on our way is some rousing music,
courtesy of the Rogue Shanty Boys.
THEY SING
Sea shanties flourished in the 19th century
as work songs sung by seamen.
THEY SING
It helped them to co-ordinate their efforts on deck.
THEY FINISH SINGING
Bravo!
There's nothing for it but to embrace this seafaring spirit.
We'll teach you a song called Sam's Gone Away.
The idea is that you take a ranking, so you can be
"I wish I were a Sergeant."
He's stealing the show, you know.
I... No, no. There's a song like, so what a berk,
you know, that kind of thing.
You know, something that something we could all sing, you know.
You can be captain. Would that be OK?
No, that's perfectly all right, yeah.
# I wish I were a cabin boy, aboard a man o' war
# Sam's gone away, aboard a man o' war
# I wish I was a Sergeant, a Sergeant on the boat
# Sam's gone away, aboard a man o' war
# I'm glad I am the captain, I am glad I say
# Sam's gone away, aboard a man o' war. #
Well, that's excellent.
That's wonderful. Set me up for the day.
I feel now we can conquer the ocean.
That song will still be ringing in my ears when the waves are
crashing over the front of the boat.
Ah, no. Nothing can possibly go wrong now.
We're ready for a life on the ocean wave, and, in the words of
Admiral Lord Nelson, England expects every man will do his duty...
..once he can get his jacket zipped up.
Are we ready to go?
You're going to do the bowline
and Michael's going to do the stern line.
First, there's the small matter of leaving the harbour.
So we do what any brave captain would do,
and delegate to a professional.
OK. Fenders and lines in and stored.
Who knows we actually need to use the engine.
John, could you pass that down, and I'll...? Yeah. Oh, that's very neat.
She's a tight one, this harbour.
It certainly is.
This is where it all begins. It's lovely.
The whole hopes of the voyage are suddenly concentrated here.
Going back in the harbour. ALARM BEEPS
Stella? Yeah? Engine overheating alarm. Yep. Copy.
We're going back into the port.
Let's get some lines and fenders.
John? Yeah? Fenders.
Oh, we're pulling the fenders out, are we?
I imagine so, if we're going back into port.
This is quite serious. We've got an engine problem.
At any moment, the engine can cut out.
If the engine fails, we'd crash into the docks within minutes.
Lowestoft port, this is an emergency situation.
I have to anchor.
Anchor as quick as possible, please.
I have an engine problem.
I am going back into the port. Over.
Michael and I haven't even left Lowestoft before disaster strikes.
Yeah, I can't make it to there. I'm going alongside the gas barge.
Anchor as quick as possible, please.
Did you hear that, Stella? Quick as possible.
I have an engine problem. It's going to overheat.
I am going alongside the barge.
OK, drop.
Hold the anchor, please.
Hold the anchor. Hold it... Hold it...
Do you want a hand?
The engine's now failed and we've got to try and get to a mooring.
We've got our first emergency, well,
within about five minutes of leaving the port.
INDISTINCT
Yeah. OK.
Engine failure has left us drifting dangerously close to the dockside.
I find all this thrilling. I mean, they're so calm. But... Stella.
Stern deck please.
I'd be really, really panicking at this stage.
Hold there.
Well, all dressed up and nowhere to go, John.
I know, it was all so emotional.
Yeah, I know.
It's hugely disappointing.
We thought we'd be thrashing down the North Sea on this epic
voyage and we're stuck here...
..in the industrial dock in Lowestoft.
This is a whole lot of nothing, isn't it?
It is a bit, isn't it?
While the professionals make repairs,
we realise that the sun is now over the yard arm.
We need refreshment. We do. It's a purely technical matter. It is.
What we're really talking about is getting
to the nearest pub as soon as possible, aren't we?
It's in everybody's interests for us to go to the pub.
It's an unselfish gesture. Yes.
It's taking the pressure off people trying to fix the engine...
We're helping.
We're...accommodating. We're relieving.
What else are we doing? We're wasting time. We're...
Would it be a help to you if we were out of the way a bit?
If you wanted to get off the boat and go off, that would be fine.
Oh, right.
But, if you wanted to help, you can stay for sure.
Yeah, because obviously we're, we're, you know, longing to help,
aren't we? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes. Longing for the pub? No, no...
No, oh, no, Mungo. Honestly... No, no, longing to help...
What an awful thing to say. That was a dreadful thing to say.
Wounded by Mungo's insinuation, we seek solace ashore.
To the good ship Bonaventure. To the good ship Bonaventure.
Mid-afternoon, and, with our boat's engine still broken,
we decide to embark on a cultural tour of Lowestoft.
Here you go, gentlemen. Ah, thank you very much indeed.
Lovely to see you again. Thank you. Mm.
In our absence, Bonaventure has been towed 72 miles to
Brightlingsea for her essential repairs.
Marooned on shore, we're forced to seek alternative passage.
We ought to be out there, bucketing around at sea.
We should be sailing, shouldn't we? Sailing, yeah.
I mean, there is a sense in which this isn't sailing.
That's very shrewd of you, John. Yeah.
This is not the fun of the ocean wave, is it?
It's mundane. This is just transport. Yeah.
We eventually locate Bonaventure moored offshore in the
Blackwater estuary, still awaiting an engine part,
but otherwise unscathed.
John, there she is. Look, just round that corner there.
See? Oh, yeah, there she is, yeah...
Look at that.
Look at the lines on her.
They're waving. Yes! I'll wave. Come on. Hurray!
Ahoy there! Well, how good to see you.
Have you missed us? Absolutely.
We missed you, actually.
Reunited with the Bonaventure. Gosh. It is a relief to see you.
With no harbour walls to negotiate, there's no need for an engine.
Up we go. Strength of ten men, John.
So, with a light breeze picking up,
we can at last put Bonaventure through her paces.
Right, we're sailing.
This is the moment, isn't it?
We waited longer than we thought for this moment. Absolutely, now
concentrate. Oh, no, no, no, it's nice. No, we're all over the place.
Come on. No, we're not all over the place.
Yes, we are. No, we know what we're doing.
Oh, look at that.
It's a beautiful sight, isn't it?
Isn't it wonderful, really?
When she's sailing properly like this, it's a sort of Tarzan moment -
where you have to have bulging muscles. Yes.
If we're to cross the Thames Estuary safely,
we'll have to master the art of tacking -
sailing into the wind by zigzagging across it.
Are we ready? OK.
OK, Lee ho.
Worryingly, certain crew members
have begun to reveal a mutinous streak.
OK, you ready about?
Yup. Yeah.
OK, Lee ho.
Er, helm's alee, actually.
Not in my language.
Yes, it is, you've just put the helm to the Lee side.
Having noted seaman Buerk's dissent in the log, I returned to the helm.
I'm doing it slowly to help you all.
All right? What a pro.
You see? You see? It worked.
Captain John's in charge.
Yes. That's a dangerous thought.
You'll grow into it, crew.
You'll respond to the firm control.
I think probably another tack.
Ready? Here we go.
OK. Lee ho.
Staysail's gone. Almost, yeah. Here we go.
Jib's gone too...
OK. That's lovely.
That's John's excellent tacking technique.
There you are. You see? Doubters.
Sadly, a call from the shore soon takes the wind out of our sails.
Bonaventure's missing engine part has finally arrived,
so it's back to port to complete her repairs.
Once again, we are castaways.
I feel like the Duke of York's army. 10,000 men, marched up to the top of
the hill, and then marched down again.
With no places of cultural interest nearby,
John hits on another idea for keeping us entertained.
We're going to go fishing and we're going to catch fish.
Oh, this is it, isn't it? This is the life.
Look at that. Isn't that fantastic? Look.
John's plan for a fun-packed afternoon
is for us to catch our own supper.
The only problem is, I loathe fishing.
Shouldn't you be facing that way?
All right.
When I see fish, I see a meal,
I don't see a sport.
I think, "Hm, now, shall we have it grilled or fried,
"on the bone or off the bone?"
Those are the only questions you need to ask about fish.
That was very good, John.
The touch of a master.
I mean, I thought you were full of...
..you know, how can I put this?
I can't think of a clean word.
Amateur at work here.
That's all right. That's very good.
Michael has never caught a fish, so I should be egging him on, right?
I should be hoping for his success.
Annoyed that I'm not spending the afternoon watching paint dry,
I settle in for a long wait.
Come on, fish, do what you've got to do.
Come on, you selfish bastards. Come on, just give your life.
Yeah, come on. Give your life!
Yep. And then...
You've got a bite! I've got one?
Yeah, you did have a bite. No, don't grab it with...
I'm not... ..too much zealous, cos it's def... Right.
There is definitely one? I've got one on there?
Yeah. OK. All right, OK. Go on, strike it.
Can you feel it, John? Yes, I can feel it.
I think you've lost it, you know.
Oh, no. You have. Yeah, I think I have.
Oh, that... It's gone. What else could I have done?
I couldn't... I did my best.
Well, I think you could have been a bit quicker. Really?
Yes. I was distracted. Oh.
Always blames somebody else, you know? Always blames somebody else.
I just want to ask you a question, Michael.
Have you had a bite? No, I haven't had a bite. All right. Well, there
we are. So, I mean, I can live with not having a fish,
but I couldn't live with not even having a bite.
Just as I'm about to conduct an experiment to see whether or
not John Sergeant floats...
I just felt a tug at it. Now what?
Bring it in? Reel in. Reel in. Yeah. If you've got a fish, let's see it.
Unlike John, I really seized the moment. Yeah.
No, well, let's see what the result is, with all the...
Well, all right, all right... Yeah, come on.
Well? Nothing. Not a thing.
And, do you notice that the bait, yeah?
Yeah... Completely untouched.
So there's no question of, "Was there a fish?"
Fearing a battle at sea, our skipper heads for shore.
PHONE RINGS
Hello. Hello, there.
This is Mungo on the Bonaventure.
Has the engine been mended?
Yes, the engine we have mended.
Oh, how wonderful! Well done!
Fantastic! A high five? Well, yes. Wow. Wahey! Hey!
# Um-pa-dum-pa-dum
# We're on our way, we're on our way, we're on our way. #
The magic, it's back. We're in business.
This is plucking triumph out of disaster.
It is wonderful news.
I am genuinely relieved.
The adventure can now really begin.
After several false starts, Michael and I are sailing down the
southeast coast on our glorious yacht Bonaventure.
Will I be in your way if I sit there, John? Not at all.
It's good to have you close, you know.
Yes. I can keep an eye on you.
In a stiffening breeze, she's handling beautifully -
or so John tells me.
Can I have a bash, John?
Let's just see where we're going.
There is a power station.
It's about the size of Paris - you can't miss it.
I know, thank you. I can, I've spotted it, thank you.
Even with my failing eyes, I can spot it.
I don't want to be, you know, competitive or anything,
but I would like a go on the old tiller at some stage.
You'd like a go? Yes, I would. It never crossed my mind.
You know, now, I know you're not a man to hog it.
Can I have a go? Where are we heading, John?
We're going to go there.
We're going to starboard of the... And then, quite soon, we will tack.
But, you take a nap... By tack, you mean going that way?
Yes, then we're going that way. Yeah?
You sure? Yes.
I might need your advice shortly. No, don't be silly. Get on now.
This is good practice for going across the Thames tomorrow.
Nice tacking in-between the sandbanks.
Yeah. Ready to go about? Yes.
Standing by. Standing by.
Helm's alee.
Jib's gone.
Lee ho!
There you go.
Yeah, wonderful.
How are you getting on, Michael?
I'm not I don't feel as cool as you looked.
You have got more confidence.
I thought, at the beginning, it was a little bit shaky when...
It was a bit shaky, actually...
And I don't get anything past you, do I? No, I just wanted to let you
know that I was watching you. Yeah, well... Behind those dark glasses,
those little eyes were flickering, weren't they? The little eyes are
flicking backwards and forwards and admiringly - that's the point.
All this actual sailing is making us hungry,
so we decide to pull in at West Mersea.
The isle of Mersea, off the Essex coast, is famous for its seafood,
so we followed John's nose in search of lunch.
Now, what have you heard about this place, John?
There's a great oyster tradition. Oysters?
Yes, oysters. That's the thing. There's that side of it and we've
got lobsters to think about. Yes. Yep. Whelks...
Here we are. Is this it? This is him.
I think you might have struck lucky.
There are worse places to be.
If you're keen on boating, this is sort of heaven, isn't it?
It certainly is.
Ah. Here are your oysters. Oh, that's good. Right.
Oh, things are looking up now. They're really plump, aren't they?
That's excellent. They're good, yes.
Where are they come from? Somewhere near here? Here, yeah. From over
here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're local. That's excellent.
Thank you very much. That's lovely.
When he ate kangaroo testicles in the jungle,
Michael's table manners were frankly appalling.
I hope they've improved.
The thing is to not be too embarrassed about slurping.
You've got to grab them...
And then go "slurp", and then breathe in... That's it.
And... Oh, there we go.
No, suck.
No, well, there's no need to look that silly.
You're going to the other extreme. Look, all right, here we go.
Oh, that was very professional.
There was a bit of a gurgling, did you notice that?
Was that good or bad? Bad. Oh, right. OK.
Let, let me, wait, wait...
That was better, you know. You're getting the idea. Because I'm not
travelling round the country with someone who can't do oysters.
Well, no. I mean, there's no point. So, quietly, just check it.
It's loose. Yeah. Exactly.
Then...you're going to suck it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you should try and get your face in the right place.
Do please take this as a compliment, but you have the mouth for oysters.
I will take that as a...
..one of the worst things ever said.
That was wonderful. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Back to the boat. Oh, dear.
Eh, is it... Rather slowly... Are we
in the right shape for sailing? Yes, of course. Of course.
Leaving West Mersea's oyster stockpile significantly depleted,
we waddled back to Bonaventure to begin the next leg of our voyage.
Sadly, eating his own body weight in shellfish has only increased
John's propensity to back-seat drive.
Why are we going so slowly, though?
That's the only thing that worries me.
John, we are making the most of the conditions -
no sailor can say more than that.
And, with precious little wind, this is going to be a long afternoon.
I'll just read to you the speed -
it's 1.5 knots.
That's slower than someone walking.
Well, it's not slower than you walking.
No, it's slower than a person walking and it's not impressive.
Mungo, what do you think about putting the engine on?
Well, I was thinking maybe we could take this reef out.
Taking a reef out is sailor speak for making the sail bigger -
a chance for John to work off his lunch.
Faster, John. That's enough of that.
Come on, John. Faster, faster.
I'm going as fast as I humanly can.
I think John's doing really well at the moment. He's an athlete, really.
I mean, obviously you wouldn't think it to look at him,
but he's every inch an athlete.
Quite a few inches, in various
different directions, but he can do it. He can do it.
I think he can do it.
OK, that's good. You can stop.
Oh. Thank goodness.
Right.
With the evening drawing in,
John heads below decks to do what he does best.
I have to go and lie down now.
You might have to go and have a lie down, yeah.
Leaving me to enjoy Bonaventure's unique charms in peace.
Feels rather good at the moment, this.
You know, you get into a groove, in command of 22 tonnes
of wonderful boat, swaying in the water...
..moving along, gliding, actually. Just gliding.
One's loyal crew up there, doing all the work.
This is real sailing.
Having tested that my bunk works properly,
I turned my attention to putting food on the table.
This is going to be pretty simple.
I am cooking pork chops in cider.
Terrific.
Let's not be stupid about this.
Um, the captain isn't looking.
Quite important for me to rest. I've...
I've given everything for this boat.
In the meantime, a sip of cider.
Just a little sip.
Right. How are you getting on?
I thought you were meant to be cooking.
No, this is what we call sous vide.
It's long, slow-cooking. Sous vide!
May I ask what you're drinking?
It's called Cornish Gold.
And you were drinking it all by yourself down here.
Tasting, I'd say, more.
Tasting and checking.
That doesn't look like tasting, John. Most of that bottle has gone.
Well, I'd better get on with sailing the boat.
Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.
We're doing all right here.
Is there any more of that cider left?
You can have some.
That's awfully gracious of you, John.
Right. Well, Mungo...
..is on the helm.
With the last of the wind and the cider fading away,
we motor into Bradwell, our overnight berth.
Alpha dock is clear. Excellent.
Yeah, coming in nice. Very nice.
While we wait for John's pork chops a la cider, we take a stroll
around the marina, where one boat in particular catches our eye.
Hello. Good evening. Good evening.
How are you? What a wonderful looking boat!
Oh, thank you very much.
It is a boat. What's she called?
It's called Lazy Days. Would you like to come on board?
We certainly would. Come on in.
Lazy Days is one of the Little Ships used to rescue Allied troops
during the evacuation of Dunkirk in 1940.
May I offer you a drink?
Oh, no, no, we won't have... Oh, no, no, I think we will...
Please do. I'll be right back. Bear with me.
How long have you had this boat?
We bought her in 2012, so we've had her for...
Six years... ..six years now.
But she looked a wreck when you...
Yeah, she was terrible.
So, how much of a job was it putting it all together?
Two years, full-time, six days a week.
Was it worth it? Every single penny.
Every single penny. I mean, she's family.
And do you know what this boat actually did at Dunkirk?
She was shot up from day two, three and four.
They patched her up each time and got her running again.
Can we look round? Of course you may.
Absolutely delighted. It's great. Yep.
Lazy Days was commandeered by the military during the evacuation
and ferried scores of soldiers to safety under heavy fire.
This sort of overwhelms you, doesn't it? It is...
It gets me, all that period.
Those stories are so amazing, and you,
you feel they deserve being told over and over again.
Honestly, it touches my heart.
People, when they come on this boat, I bet they would find it,
as I do, just very difficult not to be deeply affected by it.
I totally agree. It's...we see it all the time.
Those people come on board, and they're transformed back in
time, and they start thinking about everything that occurred.
It's quite a thing. It still moves us when we come back on board here.
So, what are your plans for tomorrow?
We're going to cross the entire Thames Estuary
and we're going to Ramsgate. We're going to Ramsgate tomorrow.
No, you're not! Yes, we are. That's our home port.
Oh, is that your home port? Yeah, it is.
In the words of the famous song, we'll meet again.
We will, we certainly will. That's fantastic.
You're such a nostalgia merchant, John, honestly.
The biggest test, I mean, a really difficult long sail across
the whole of the Thames Estuary, from here in Essex to Ramsgate.
Huge tidal problems. Sandbanks everywhere.
Graveyard for fine ships.
It's going to be a big day tomorrow.
It was lovely, wasn't it? That was great.
I enjoyed that. Yeah. So did I.
But we're on a serious mission here and that means an early night.
We should go to the pub. Yes. Exactly.
The final day of our trip down Britain's southeast coast
promises to be our toughest sailing test so far.
We're attempting to sail Bonaventure across the Thames Estuary,
a tangle of hidden sandbanks, narrow channels and treacherous tides.
It's a notoriously unforgiving stretch of water,
with a reputation for punishing even the most experienced of sailors.
We've got a really complicated, difficult,
actually potentially dangerous journey to Ramsgate.
It's going to be a very tricky job of navigation.
Things can go really badly wrong if you,
you know, make a few miscalculations.
We're going to come up around the top of the black deep.
Will we ever get out of the black deep? I hope so, yeah.
Call me a party pooper,
but "the black deep" doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.
What you can't see is, you can't tell that it's shallow...
No... ..just over there.
And this whole area will look like open deep water... Yeah, yeah.
..to the untrained eye. And, in fact, if you stray out of the channel,
we're going to be on the sandbanks in a matter of minutes.
And if the black deep and the sandbanks don't get us...
We've also got Felixstowe, the biggest container port in
Britain, here, with all the shipping lanes going in.
In other words, we'll be crossing
one of the busiest shipping routes on the planet.
I think today we've got to work together
and we've got to tighten the grip on this little team.
Got it. Those two...
I'm getting on... You're clear.
Very well done. Well done, yeah.
Excellent.
As we motor towards certain death,
we're cheered by the sight of an old companion.
Lazy Days. Lovely Lazy Days.
If that plucky little cruiser can survive Dunkirk and still
outrun us, almost 80 years later,
then surely we can make it as far as Ramsgate.
So now we wave.
I like the waving.
Otherwise, you just feel we're alone in the sea.
RADIO: Bonaventure, Bonaventure, this is Lazy Days, over.
Lazy Days, this is Bonaventure, over.
RADIO: Bonaventure, wishing you a really good trip
and we'll see you on the other side in Ramsgate this evening. Over.
Have a safe and pleasant journey
and hope to see you in Ramsgate, over.
RADIO: Take care. Lazy Days out.
Bonaventure listening, out.
With no wind, we're forced to use our temperamental motor for
the first stage of our crossing,
winding our way through a series of narrow channels.
There's a bit of an element of who dares wins about this, isn't there?
What we need is one of those things where we shout at the engine room,
isn't it? That's right, yeah. Full ahead, please. Come on. Full ahead.
I said full ahead.
I'm feeling very intense.
With John manning the tiller,
I take on the more senior role of monitoring the sea depth.
What's the depth at the moment?
The depth at the moment is 13 metres.
It's less than it was. Eh, well, yes.
The boat needs roughly two metres of water to avoid running aground,
so we both need to stay on our toes.
6.3 - that's lowest yet. It's getting closer. 5.9.
No, we're not out of the woods yet, Captain.
Just means I can't relax for a moment.
3.2. What? No. I'm joking.
What is it? No... Oh, sorry, sorry.
6.3, 6.4.
We're doomed. We're not doomed.
We're definitely not doomed.
10.8. Crisis over. Yeah. We're there, aren't we?
Crisis, crisis over.
No, seriously, it's good, isn't it?
Success. The black deep and the first of the shallows are behind us.
So, um, how does it feel?
Just a sense of achievement.
I suppose, more than anything, it's the feeling I've overcome my
internal problems as well as everything else, you know, my...
You have to conquer the demon within. That's it.
With the wind getting up, we raise the sails and forge ahead.
The closer to the wind we can get, the better it's going to be.
Just let her come slowly up to the wind...
..so how she's feeling good, right?
Now she's heeling over and she's feeling powered up.
Yeah. That's good. Feels nice there, yeah.
What about this container ship behind here?
Well, I think he's steaming straight up the Channel behind us.
He's probably doing about 20 knots there,
I would have thought, so... But he's big.
..I suggest we put in a quick tack to get out of his way.
What you're going to do, John, is you're going to let off this one.
Yeah. And then you're going to run across to the other side... Oh,
right. And pull in the other one on the other winch.
Ready to go about? Ready. Ready.
John, you ready? Yep. Ready, John?
Helm's alee.
Lee helm!
It's a big one, isn't it?
Yes, well, I'm glad we're going away from him.
After nearly seven hours of sailing, we face our final challenge
of the day - negotiating the infamous Fisherman's Gat...
..another narrow passage of dangerously shallow water.
Only, this time, we'll be under sail and we'll have to tack
back and forth to work our way through safely.
One false move and we'll be grounded in one of the busiest
shipping channels in Britain.
So, we are going to be zigzagging up there, yes?
That's right. OK. Ready to go about?
Yeah, we're ready. Ready. Helm's alee.
Lee helm!
Gosh, it's narrow, isn't it?
Shallow and narrow.
Ready to go about? Yeah.
Helm's alee.
Lee helm!
Perhaps sensing our peril, John decides it's finally time to
start using the correct sailing lingo.
So, what's the plan? Another tack?
Yep.
Now, I'm not very good on these words.
What do we say?
You say "ready to go about"... Yeah.
..and then, when you push the tiller over, you say "helm's alee",
and as soon as the boom swings across, as it swings across...
Shout "Lee helm". Shout "Lee helm". OK, ready to go about?
Yep. Yep. Right. Helm to Lee. Helm's alee.
Helm to Lee, yeah.
OK. Lee helm.
Ready? Yep. Yep. OK.
I'm not sure "OK" quite cuts it.
Ready about? Aye, aye.
Right. Helm to Lee.
Helm's alee.
Lee helm.
And, with that, we're through the sandbanks,
and within striking distance of our safe haven, Ramsgate.
Three or four days ago, do you know
I was really daunted at the idea of being in charge of this boat?
Yeah. You know, big wooden tiller.
Big boat stretching halfway
to the other side of the harbour, I thought.
But actually, when you're on it, it goes through the water, doesn't it?
Yeah. As if it was made for it.
It's also rather, you know, exciting, that we're meant to
be in charge, and are in charge, of such a big boat.
It's like a child on a shire horse.
There's this little kid and there's this enormous horse.
I feel a bit like that, you know.
As if, look, I'm not meant to be in charge of all this, am I?
You know, it's a wonderful feeling.
This first leg actually started as a complete disaster.
The terrible low was the problem with the engine,
but then it did give us the chance to know each other in adversity.
All our little troubles are forgotten.
All our difficulties early on are forgotten.
We're here. We're here on the ocean. It's lovely. Yeah.
I was really quite daunted about a long trip in
this big, unwieldy boat, but it was absolutely brilliant.
We've done some magnificent sailing,
we've got some sense of command over the boat,
and it's all ended in a blaze of sunshine and glory.
And I can't wait for the next leg.
And news just in - we've arrived in time for a well-earned drink.
Your trip, how did it go?
It was just wonderful to be sailing. Yeah.
We're sailing this terrific boat.
And she looks so good, but then she sails so well.
Next stop - Portsmouth. Cheers to that.
Cheers. Wish you well. Your next adventure, yes. The next adventure.
Next time, we're taking on the Solent.
We need to sail the boat a lot better.
Man overboard!
And things get competitive.
Right, where's Michael? He's there.
Speed it! Hurry, hurry, hurry!
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