It's never too late to go on the adventure of a lifetime.
Jibe ho!
But when your experience of sailing on the high seas is limited...
Oh, bloody hell.
This is completely outside our comfort zone.
And your crewmate is just as rusty...
Things don't always go according to plan.
Man overboard!
House's that way. Oh, right.
We're not totally up to it, let's admit that.
We'll attempt to tame this glorious traditional yacht.
I just want to learn, I suppose, can I still do it?
I want to feel master of this fabulous big boat.
At least not feel too incompetent.
Oh!
Can we pull together as a team?
Come on, John. Faster, faster.
I'm going as fast as I humanly can.
Or will old rivalries get the better of us?
OK, lee ho. Helm's alee, actually. Not in my language.
You shouting puts me off.
As we explore Britain's magnificent coastline.
It's one of the best day's sailing I think we've ever had.
This is proper sailing.
The second leg of our maritime adventure starts in Portsmouth,
the Royal Navy's oldest base
and home to Admiral Lord Nelson's former run-about.
Portsmouth is also the UK's only island city
and it has the unique architecture to match.
I like this, you know. I like this spinnaker.
It is good, isn't it? It's.. It's just a...
I mean, this is a proper little bit of theatre, isn't it?
It's iconic.
And how convenient.
A reminder of one of Michael's past glories.
That actual boat I have sailed across the notorious
Tasman Sea in a gale. Really, yeah? You're not just making it up?
Yeah, round the world yacht race.
Really? Yeah. Actually, that's impressive.
Yeah, it is impressive. All right.
Well, do you think I could've been part of that team? Yeah...yeah.
No, do you not think so? Well... Oh.
Even if Michael had been more impressed by my sailing,
legally, we would still have to be chaperoned by two professional
sailors, who on the first leg helped us tame the Thames Estuary.
So we are going to be zigzagging up there, yes?
Yeah, that's right. Ready to go about.
Yeah. Helm's alee!
Lee ho!
Buoyed by that success,
we doubt there's very little pro sailor Mungo can now teach us.
Last week we didn't have a very good week, did we?
We did have a few shallows and banks to navigate around. Yes. Mm-hmm.
This week we need to sail the boat a lot better.
Not quite the vote of confidence we were hoping for...
..particularly as we're about to sail along one of the busiest
stretches of water in the British isles,
the Solent, notorious for
its unusual tidal patterns, shallow sand banks and unpredictable winds.
Assuming we can avoid a watery grave, our route will take us from
Portsmouth, 37 nautical miles west, to Poole.
Passing close to the spectacular Needles.
We're still smarting from Mungo's damning assessment of our seamanship
when we set to work preparing Bonaventure for her next voyage.
We better get on with it. Let's go. Yeah.
We're determined to show him that two salty sea dogs can in
fact learn some new tricks.
John, if you undo this,
because that's holding it out at the end of the bowsprit, I think. OK.
That's a little tricky, isn't it?
I don't know what it's doing, actually.
It's probably doing something vital
and the mast will crash down and knock us out.
Take your time, John, don't, you know, don't, don't do..
Oh, bloody hell.
Not easy, this stuff, is it?
All right. Here we go.
OK, if I feed it to you, John... OK.
OK, that's it.
So Michael's just going to pull a little bit.
Yeah. Stop there. Yeah.
And you can see that the lead is wrong. So, disaster.
Disaster indeed.
Can't we just bring the sail down and unhook it
and hook it back on again? Yes.
Is there an easier way?
Well, there is an easier way, but that would involve one of you
climbing out to the end of the bowsprit.
No, we don't want to do that.
I only need the end.
Yeah, you'll get the end.
This is the end. This is the end.
If you pass me that side, great.
Yeah. OK, I'll feed it out.
This is getting a bit tricky out here.
Oh, what? I can't hear what you are saying.
Probably speaking some strange language like that..
All right? All right, I see you're taking the piss, I can tell.
No, go on, go on, hurry.
What's the er for hurry?
Are you all right, John? That's the main thing.
I'm not cos, I tell you what, this has gone wrong.
Oh, for Christ's sake, what?
We're now wrapped around the... Oh, no.
After all that show, we are left looking stupid.
I don't want to pass the blame, but couldn't you have
spotted this at an earlier stage? Right, but what are we going to
do now? Honestly, I don't think I'd like to do that.
No, OK. I better go back. I better go back. Really? What?
So...
Pull all that around. Through there and hey, presto.
That's what you... John, absolutely fearless.
Can I hold your hand or...?
You can shake it. Oh, well done.
Now, look, we are talking medals now.
That's good. I won't have to tweezer
any splinters out of Mr Buerk's backside.
I wish Mungo was more impressed.
OK, that took a little bit longer than we expected it would take, as
that took about an hour and it would normally take about 15 minutes.
Right.
And it gets worse.
Our ineptitude means we've missed the morning tide.
An exasperated Mungo tells us to make ourselves scarce.
Ignoring Mungo's suggestion that we go swim with the fishes,
we decide instead to seek out Alan Priddy.
He's a proper ocean adventurer with a string of boating world records.
Welcome to the home of Team Britannia.
This is Alan's most ambitious challenge yet -
a bid to break the world record for circumnavigating the globe by
boat, currently held by a team from New Zealand at just 61 days.
So how far have you got with it? Well, come and have a look. OK.
I quickly ascertain what we are looking at.
Right. Well, that's a boat, just about.
This was all hand-rolled.
I mean, it looks terrific, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah.
Excalibur's revolutionary wave-cutting hull design will
give her a range of 4,000 nautical miles.
Here you go. I got you. There you go.
Don't slip down that hole. Thank you. No.
The crew will include several former service men and women,
some of whom were injured in the line of duty.
This is Richard. Hello, Richard.
Richie One Leg, as we like to call him.
Yeah, that's your nickname, yeah?
Yeah, well, Richie One Leg - they call me.
What are you doing this for?
It's being part of a team that's
trying to achieve an end goal, an end resolve.
In this case, being the quickest round the world in this boat.
Since my injury, losing my leg, 20-odd years ago,
I've always felt that I've had to push myself to try and prove
to myself that I've got a reason for being here. Yeah.
I can't wait for the day when this boat is out there on the water,
it, it means everything to me, definitely.
Excalibur may be state of the art,
but Alan also has been inspired by the past.
In the shed next door,
he's tinkering away on a little piece of maritime history.
OK, guys, so in the shed, buried at the back is the,
probably the nation's most famous boat
that nobody knows about, Lively Lady.
Lively Lady is a 36-foot yacht,
which in 1967 was sailed single-handed round the world by a
Portsmouth green grocer called Alec Rose.
OK, so this is Lively Lady.
This is Lively Lady.
Alec's epic voyage captured the imagination of the British public
and, after 354 days at sea,
he was welcomed home to Portsmouth
by a cheering crowd of over 200,000 - a young Alan among them.
What was special about Alec Rose?
Alec Rose was just a regular working guy,
no airs and graces whatsoever and he just, he just typified, again,
the British eccentricity of, "I can do this and I'm going to do it."
Alan would grow up to emulate his hero's achievement,
sailing Lively Lady around the world himself in 2006.
Worryingly, the hairiest moments on
that voyage happened on his own doorstep.
The hardest conditions we had was off The Needles.
Both ends of the Isle of Wight,
after sailing all the way around the world, were the worst,
worst conditions we'd ever experienced in life.
Both in...around the Solent...
Exactly. ..where we are? Hmm.
Yeah. Right, so...tricky.
John Sergeant and I are in Portsmouth.
We'll shortly be setting sail along the Solent.
But before we cast off,
we're squeezing in a visit to England's most famous warship.
Well, isn't she wonderful? She is.
Now if you are talking about the sea, ships, sailing...
..this makes me very emotional. Yeah.
Well, if you say, why was Britain the greatest... Exactly. ..maritime
power in the world? Yeah, for 300 years.
You can just point and say, "Because of that."
For me, this is the greatest ship that you can go around, and
I've been here several times and I've always felt, oh, how wonderful.
It just gets you.
But, you know...
..all the details, all the statistics
about the whole thing are amazing.
Do you know how many trees it took to build it?
Yeah. How many oak trees? I can't imagine. 6,000.
Michael's specialist subject on Mastermind
and, now he's started, he's certainly going to finish.
I've won Mastermind.
Can we go on? Oh, just...this is getting out of hand.
This is the heart of it, though, isn't it?
I mean, really, this is a great platform for these absolutely
smashing in the sense of destructive.
Must have been incredible.
And, you know, you have to bring this enormous heavy thing.
The shot drives it back here. Yeah.
Can you imagine what it would be like on a deck like
this in the middle of a battle? Yeah.
You've heard the expression "freeze the balls off a brass monkey"?
I have. Do you know where it comes from? Nope. It comes from them.
Cannonballs, made of iron, I assume, and the holder they sit in is called
a monkey and it's made of brass, and when it gets very, very cold,
the two metals shrink at different rates
and the balls would roll off the monkey,
so hence the expression - "freeze the balls off a brass monkey."
You say balls and people start laughing. They do.
They shouldn't be laughing if they knew.
No, absolutely not. It's part of our heritage.
It's what you know - that's what I find impressive.
I know, I know everything. You know a lot, no, it's good.
No, no, not just a lot - everything.
This is great, John, isn't it?
The juxtaposition. Yeah. Look at this.
I mean, we're on Nelson's flagship here and there's the new...
Queen Elizabeth. ..state of the art flagship of the British Royal Navy,
the aircraft carrier - Queen Elizabeth.
If we wave, will they wave back? No, they won't.
Well, it's worth a try.
Not a sound. No, no response.
They're very lofty. No, they're... It's modern.
Maybe they didn't realise who you were, John.
That's terrific. Ah.
So this is where Nelson gets all his officers sitting around.
At dinner, yeah.
And he tells them what he's going to do at this place called Trafalgar.
So these people here, round this table, have decided,
under Nelson's leadership, to take one heck of a risk.
Just like us in the Solent tomorrow.
Well, it's sort of similar. I mean,
I'm certainly going to ask you to brace up and look to the wind.
Well, let's hope we don't have a "kiss me, John" moment.
No, no, that won't be necessary because I intend to survive.
It's changed a bit, you know, since I was last here.
What were you doing here?
I was having dinner with the Second Sea Lord.
Was that before or after you were on Mastermind?
It was before, actually, why?
Oh, no, just building up a picture, you know. What sort of picture?
Of how well you've done, you know, no, it's good. Oh, right.
Oh, I'm pleased for you, yeah.
I feel fired up whenever I actually catch sight of HMS Victory or
go aboard it, so fired up I am now contemplating what might be a
difficult day in the Solent tomorrow with a bit more confidence.
I've got all this stuff behind me.
I've got all this history of the Royal Navy,
which is obviously racing through me.
Will I be able to put that into action?
So we're off to Cowes, it's the Mecca for all yachties,
certainly in Britain, probably across the whole world,
but it's slightly daunting because all those people are expert
yachts people, so got to get it right or look idiots.
God, they're big ropes these, aren't they?
Bigger than what I'm used to, I can tell you.
Fired up after his visit to Nelson's flagship,
Michael expects that every man will do his duty.
John, will you do the main sheet and I'll do the halyard?
But when he grabs what he thinks is the halyard,
it's clear Michael's been talking sheet.
Is that the right one?
Oh, it's meant to be, yeah.
It's this here, I think, John.
Is it? OK.
OK? Yeah, hang on...
Keeps you fit, doesn't it?
Now there's some suggestion this is a hotel. Oh, really? Yeah.
Well, can I put it on my list of hotels I don't want to stay in?
Forgive me, John, it might have a cocktail bar.
Yes, that looks as if, they're all lined up with all that.
And it is...it is lunchtime.
It is lunchtime, I know.
Well, you can't have a cocktail now.
We don't drink.
Don't be silly.
Not wishing to sink even lower in the estimations
of our professional crewmates,
John and I decide to forgo the cocktail bar and turn
our attention towards crossing the Solent to the Isle of Wight.
With the breeze stiffening, this is the ideal opportunity to get
in some much needed tacking practice.
And the tide's going to be pushing us in that direction.
OK, good.
Gauging the Solent's unpredictable tides and winds is no mean feat.
Helm's alee!
And neither is zigzagging a 50-foot-long yacht
through heavy traffic.
Lee ho!
No, I could have pulled it through, couldn't I? Yeah.
I'm heading straight for the beach.
We're going now, aren't we?
We are going now, at quite a rate.
HORN BLARES
What's he doing that for?
That means, "Get out of the way."
Ready to go about.
Ready. Ready. Ready.
Helm's alee.
Lee ho.
In our excitement at not being smashed to smithereens by a car
ferry, we failed to notice we've made a small navigational error.
Ours is that way. Oh, right.
OK, ready to go about.
OK. Ready. Ready.
Helm's alee.
I love that bit.
I know, but it's you shouting puts me off.
I'm trying to concentrate and you were shouting, and I just can't.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
My shouting does the trick, though, because we approach Cowes
looking almost as though we know what we are doing.
Which is just as well because we've been invited to a swanky
reception at the Royal London Yacht Club this evening.
We're hoping to make an impressive entrance.
What role are we playing there?
Guests.
Actually, guests of honour.
And what shall we talk about?
Ourselves.
I think I can manage that.
Is there any other subject?
You've made a living out of that for many, many years.
For many years. OK, so that's easy enough. So I'll...
..I'll tell stories and anecdotes of my past.
I think you could, yes.
OK, then get my early life, yeah. OK, that's couple of hours.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hello.
Despite our best efforts, we arrive an hour late.
We're also hideously under-dressed.
What do you mean, where we've been?
We've come from Portsmouth in a nice, sensible way.
Anyway, are we late?
We're not really late.
Despite John's repeated attempts to make matters worse,
all is quickly forgiven.
Yeah, hello.
Nice to see you. Rodney Barton. Hello.
Hello, Rodney, Michael Buerk. Yeah, nice to see you.
Yes, yes. Would you like to get off onto shore?
All right, jolly nice. Well, thank you.
Thank you very much for inviting us.
It's an enormous pleasure. This only happens every 180 years.
Well, we... Right, well, we're going to miss the next one, but this is...
So just tell us what's going to happen.
So Lord West will come ashore to an 11-gun salute.
So boom, boom, boom. No, boom. Yeah.
Boom. Right, OK. They have to reload.
Well, I think we ought to get ourselves together, John. Yeah.
After slipping into something less comfortable,
we make sail for the shindig...to rub shoulders with the great and
the good of the Cowes yachting scene.
It's not exactly yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.
Welcome to the Royal London. Well, thank you.
Have you been here before?
But I think we'll make do.
I'm John Sergeant and this is my colleague,
what's he called...? Anyway.
Hello, hi, hi.
So, what were the bangs?
What was going on there?
They're saluting the First Sea Lord, who's arriving.
Now I have to say, John,
that this is the moment where you don't want to screw up the mooring.
No.
Three cheers for the Lord West of Spithead.
Hip-hip... ALL: Hurray!
Well, that's all...
That was the best bit, wasn't it?
That was... Shhhh!
Which is Lord West?
The chap with all the gold parade on, John.
Oh, yes, now that's...
I wouldn't mind one of those. Yeah, yeah.
Lord West is a retired First Sea Lord. The last man to leave HMS
Ardent when she was attached during the Falklands War.
He was subsequently awarded the Distinguished Service Cross.
But have you noticed there's a bit of a sailor's roam?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a sort of slight movement,
as if he's been on a ship for all his life - I like that. Yeah.
Oh, this is very grand, isn't it, don't you think?
It's what we're used to.
Did you think they'd put this on for you, John?
I think so. I mean, I'm assuming it's for us.
We normally get a band when we arrive. Ah. Yeah...all go.
Ahead of our sail along the Solent to Poole,
John and I have spent the night on the Isle of Wight,
where we were made to feel very welcome by the members of the
Royal London Yacht Club.
Splendid evening last night. Did you enjoy it?
I did, but from what I can remember of it,
I think it was absolutely wonderful.
So wonderful in fact that in the heat of the moment our
competitive streaks got the better of us.
We're off on the water today, aren't we?
Yes, you're going racing and you'll be racing against each other.
You'll be in one boat, John, and, Michael, you'll be in another boat.
Ah-ha.
Ah. Oh, yes.
This looks excellent. John, we're going to need this.
We're not being greedy or anything like that? No, no, no, no, no.
No, that's fine. OK, brilliant.
Eating for the race.
Can I give you some tea?
Invigorated by our full English,
we go in search of the lucky souls who will be sailing with us today.
We'll be crewing XOD class dinghies, which despite being designed
in 1909 are still raced regularly around the Solent.
Excuse me, this isn't Aurora, is it? This is Aurora, John. Oh, it is.
Very good to meet you. Thank you. Welcome aboard, I'm Sarah.
I'm Peter. Hello, Peter. Hi, very nice to meet you. Hello, I'm Andrew,
how do you do? Nice to meet you. Andrew, very nice to meet you, too.
You've won the lottery here, I have to tell you. Yeah, we have.
No, really, honestly, you could have had John Sergeant.
Hello. Hello. This is Claire. How are you? Lovely to meet you.
Hello, Claire. And Matt. Nice to meet you.
So what are you expecting of me?
We're really hoping that you enjoy it. Good.
That's the absolute main thing.
Enjoy it might be a stretch,
but this will certainly be a challenge racing 20 other XODs
around two marker buoys and finishing at a committee boat.
The winning team will receive a trophy
and the adulation of their peers,
but all I really care about is beating Michael.
So far, so good. We are out.
It's like a horse race, in a way, isn't it?
They're getting the horses in line. Yes.
Shall I go this way?
There we go.
Michael is on the tiller.
Keep Michael on the tiller.
MICHAEL LAUGHS
I hope you're not wearing yourself out, John.
Nope, we haven't started yet.
This is going very well, thank you.
STARTING HORN BLARES
Let's go for it. Yeah.
This is it, this is actually serious now, isn't it?
There we go.
Bring in on the main sheet. Right, OK.
And some more, keep it coming. Yeah, OK.
Pulling in the jib a bit. Bit more. Bit more.
There we go. That's good there.
Hold it there for me. Right.
Where is he? Oh, yeah.
Hang on, here we go.
That's them there, is it?
Thanks to my exemplary rope-pulling skills,
our blue boat takes an early lead over John's red boat.
Where's Michael? He's there. That one.
He's ahead.
Well, of course we are going faster than John.
How far are we ahead of them do you think, Peter?
I'd say about five metres.
John employs the classic motivation tactic of criticising his own crew.
They seem to be leaning over more than us. Yeah. Why is that?
There's different wind pressures in different places. Yeah.
John's skipper, Sarah, then throws caution and her dinghy to the wind.
Whoops, that's close.
That it?
Right, they're tacking. Michael's tacking. What are we going to do?
Quick. Are we going to go...? Let them go. Let them go.
We're not tacking. We're holding our own line. Really?
I think we've got them at this stage, haven't we?
We've got them behind us.
Right, ready? Are we clear? Tacking.
Oh, they've all turned our way.
They're looking nervous.
Yacht racing is a subtle game of chess.
Michael's team choose to tack early.
We are ahead.
We opt to tack late.
Speed it. Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Which of course is the right move.
Tacking.
Realising that they're going to miss the marker buoy,
Michael's team has no option but to put in another tack,
handing the lead to our boat for the first time.
This is excellent, right, come on. This is fantastic.
Oh, my goodness.
They're nearer the buoy.
You take that. Right.
Let it go. We're round. We're round.
With the wind now behind us... Smooth, team.
..we deploy our spinnaker. We've got them.
That's where we need them, don't we? On the run, yes, thank you.
Gosh, we've got to make a bit of ground on them now,
haven't we, Andrew?
It's not over yet, OK.
Poor old Michael.
Such a decent guy, but they're making a bit of a mess of it.
You notice how well I'm fitting in as a team player -
doing absolutely nothing? Yeah.
What are the chances of making it up?
Right, I'm coming in the boat, then I'll get a visual on the mark.
Right, I've got it.
So where are...? You ready?
We're 30 seconds from finishing.
Well...
..pulley for them.
Right now. Hurray! That's terrific.
Andrew, I hate to say this,
but I don't think I'm going to hear the end of this.
I mean, I'll blame you, obviously,
but he's going to be completely insufferable.
Well done, everybody. Really good.
Great having you on board.
Well, now, I'm the lucky token, you see.
Without me, you'd have been last.
We finish a highly creditable sixth overall,
but it's not about winning, it's about gloating.
I've certainly enjoyed it enormously,
particularly, I've got to say this, beating Michael now.
When he arrives,
I think I've got to be careful of being too smug, don't you think?
We shouldn't do smug. Shall we try and be friendly to them?
As much as we look down upon them now. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Right, come on. Where's the loser? Right.
OK, well done, you guys.
Now you realise it was just the fluke of the wind?
No, no. Honestly. We had you well beaten. No, it was terrific.
Yes, all right, John, stop crowing, please, please.
No. And stop being gracious.
I want you to know how much I really am so grateful
for all that you did coming second. I can't believe it.
I told you he was going to be... You warned us, didn't you?
No, that was magnificent. Shall we drink to all of us?
ALL: Cheers. Here's to us, yeah.
Terrific, terrific. Great racing.
The next morning, we're supposed to be leaving for Lymington,
but not for the first time,
Bonaventure's engine is on the blink.
Despite the fact we've fixed the... Yeah.
..we now think it's possibly the raw water cooling pump.
The shorthand for that is we're stuffed.
Sailing without an engine is possible, but in the Solent,
with its unpredictable conditions
and busy shipping lanes, it's a big risk.
I mean, it's really frustrating cos we're all ready to go sailing.
You kind of get yourself keyed up for it and think this is going to be
really great, and it's a bit of a let down.
Then it hits us. Our hero, Lord Nelson,
didn't have an engine on HMS Victory at Trafalgar.
We'll take our chances.
After catching a tow off the dock,
we set sail for Lymington with no engine and no margin for error.
No... No, I like this.
This is more British Isles sailing.
I don't know if you've noticed, but there's a rather big ship.
No, I know. We're going to avoid that.
Having succeeded in not crashing into the big ship,
and with plenty of wind,
we make rapid progress across the Solent.
Who needs an engine anyway?
It's a lovely boat for sailing. Yeah, I think it is.
Good news, guys. It's only six more miles. Oh, really?
And we're doing eight and a half knots.
Oh, that's good. That's great. Yeah.
I think it's down to you, John. Please.
So it's there we've got to go? Yeah. All right. We need to tack, OK.
Ready to go about? Oh, you haven't got your gloves on, John.
So I'm not ready. No, take your time, John.
Don't, don't...no, don't rush.
Ready to go about?
Ready. Ready. Ready.
Helm's alee.
Righty ho.
Lee ho.
I think your racing experience has whipped you chaps into shape.
Quite something, I must say.
Honestly, how do you feel this compared with those lovely little
yachts that we were sailing in yesterday?
Well, it's all the same principle, isn't it? Yeah.
I mean, you've got the tiller, you've got the sails and all that.
I mean, I enjoyed it cos it was kind of nimble and you were sort of
skittering around the Solent,
but this is, to me, a bit more enjoyable.
There's something... She's a gracious old lady,
picking up her skirts and cantering down the Solent. Yeah.
I feel, I feel, you know, it's a different sort of thing.
Now look at this idiot.
I mean, look at him.
Oh, look at the wash coming in. Look at this now, the wash.
Yeah, absolutely. Right, which we have to suffer from. Yeah.
Having already had our tranquillity interrupted by a boy racer,
our crewmates suddenly decide to throw another spanner in the works.
Man over board!
Man over board! Man over board!
What they've actually thrown overboard is a perfectly good float
and yet we're the ones who are expected to drop
everything and go and pick it up.
OK, where is it? It's over there. There it is.
Stand by, John.
It'll come as no surprise for you to learn that
John fails to rescue the float.
Mercifully, Stella is able to hook it out before it perishes.
Well done.
Good job, guys.
We don't consider ourselves heroes.
Anyone would've done the same in our position,
but we are very pleased to arrive in Lymington.
I'm ready to throw you the rope.
Ready?
And after such a traumatic experience,
surely we've earned a small refreshment?
Do you know what time it is? What time?
Oh, 20 past six, yeah. No, no, no.
You don't think it's...?
Oh, time for a drink? Yeah.
There are plenty of pubs around Lymington...
..but, for some reason, Michael insists on this one.
Hello. Hi, hi, hi. Oh, sorry. Oh, right.
Oh, not a pub quiz. Are you going to do the writing?
I don't like quizzes.
Mastermind veteran Michael, on the other hand, loves quizzes.
What is our team name? The Dynamic Duo?
Dynamic Duo.
Batman and Robin. It's a bit Batman and Robin, isn't it?
OK, what about...?
I thought of Two Men In A Boat.
What about Two Men? Cut it down, right?
OK, Two Men. And underline it.
Two Men. OK, Two Men. OK, we've got that.
That's simple.
OK, what famous explorer is
associated with the ship The Beagle?
What about Charles Darwin?
Well, it was Darwin, but he wasn't an explorer.
And do you know what his...do you know what his captain's name was?
No, what do you to say?
Fitzroy, Captain Fitzroy. Do you mind?
You don't need to add bits of showoffery.
No, no, no, no. We're meant to be a team here.
But I know you were very, very classically educated, so you'll know
these things. No, but, I know, but what I try and do, I try to hide it,
Michael, that's the difference. Yeah, I know.
Right, I'll scrub out Darwin.
No, no, no, put Darwin. That's the answer they want.
The trouble is, they won't be able to read my writing.
Which quiz show often featured the line,
"I've started, so I'll finish"?
OK, Mastermind. Shhhh!
What? But you don't know about Mastermind, do you?
I won it, actually. Oh, yeah.
After a promising start, the subject turns to popular culture.
Which TV Sitcom opens with the song I'll Be There For You
by the Rembrandts?
I'll Be There For You?
Have you ever watched a sitcom? Certainly not.
Do you like the idea that, when it comes to TV and film,
we haven't a clue? No, we haven't got a clue.
This is our whole life's work. This is our whole life's work.
And how are we doing? Not a clue.
And which Rihanna song includes the lyric,
"when the sun shines, we'll shine together"?
Who the hell is Rihanna?
I don't know.
We're stuffed here. Yes.
OK, guys. When you're happy with your answers,
if you swap with a team nearby, we'll see who's won.
OK, results are in.
In fourth place, with a massive 11, is Two Men. Well done.
Do you think we...?
I think so. Thanks very much.
Yeah. Thank you very much.
Bye. Goodbye.
OK, quick, quick, out, out.
We're exploring the ancient sea port of Lymington
ahead of our final sail along the Solent later today.
Contemporary elegance. It's suits you, you know? Do you think so?
Yes, I think. That's awfully sweet of you.
I see you in the more traditional way.
Well, I'm not contemporary elegant.
Yesterday, we impressed our professional crewmates by
sailing here from Cowes without an engine, so today they've entrusted
us with the challenge of plotting the perfect course to Poole.
This looks a good place.
We could go and do all this in here. Sort it all out, OK.
Let's see how far we've got to go. OK.
Not only have we got to get from Lymington to Poole,
but we want to take in the Needles.
OK, well come on, what are we doing? Where are we?
Wait, give me, give me a moment.
Clearly, it requires a lot less skill to read the news than
it does to read a chart.
We're coming out at Lymington. Yeah.
So then we're into the deep water.
You've got to be careful about all of this.
So then we come through here. Yeah, last we see of that.
We see the Needles. Yeah.
And we can get quite close.
With sailing, it's not about the destination -
it's about the journey.
We're taking the scenic route to Poole,
via one of Britain's most famous natural landmarks.
During a storm in 1764, one of the needles collapsed.
We'll try not to knock another one over
when we sail past this afternoon.
It's a good thing we've got a massive book full of
incomprehensible diagrams to help us.
This is where it all gets complicated.
So, we've got to get to Poole before 8:30
cos that's when the tide turns.
Perfect day.
Quite a stiff breeze, but in exactly the right place.
We should go whoosh,
straight past the Needles, straight to Poole.
The sun is shining.
We're on our way to the Needles.
This is going to be a very good sail.
We've got a bit of a plan. Oh, yeah?
Following some late night repairs,
Bonaventure's temperamental engine is working again.
It's comforting to have the added security,
but, once we are safely clear of Lymington,
we set to work raising the main sail.
And furling out the two headsails,
determined not to mess it up this time.
Can you handle the furling line, John? I will.
I'll try and get this right...
..having got it wrong several times before.
I think it's the moment to try and get it right.
OK, are we ready to start this? Yeah.
That's it.
OK, now, it's on the other side. Yeah.
Well done.
Right. What's happening? Are you going to pull it? I am.
And I'll just let this out?
OK? OK. Ready to do that, yeah.
Right.
OK.
Ah, that's good.
Fabulous day, isn't it? Wonderful day.
I mean, isn't it just absolute terrific?
You have to pinch yourself sometimes, don't you? Yeah.
To give us the best views,
our plan is to hug the shoreline of the Isle of Wight.
We're about to find out if John was reading all those charts and
books of tide tables correctly, or not.
We want to get us as close to the Needles as possible. OK.
OK, ready to jibe.
Ready.
Right.
Gosh, it's heavy, though, isn't it? Oh, yeah.
It's a heavy tiller.
Do you mind if I take over? Not at all, no.
This is really exciting. I know, it's lovely.
With the cliffs looming ahead, it's time for us to make our final turn.
Ready to jibe? Ready to jibe.
Jibe? OK.
Keep your head down. Yeah, it's fine.
Jibe ho.
Well, that is looking good, isn't it?
Yeah, looking very good.
Our course has worked out perfectly.
Well, it was never in any doubt, really.
And as a way of saying thank you,
our grateful crewmates offer us a small token of appreciation.
I don't think we need a corkscrew, do we? No. No.
Well... That would be terrible,
if we were on a boat without a corkscrew.
We have never had a need for a corkscrew on this boat.
Did you hear that? What? The need for a corkscrew?
"We have never had a need for a corkscrew on this boat."
Didn't that put a chill down the back of your spine?
This is one of the great bits of British geography,
isn't it, the Needles? It is.
The famous...
When you think of all the fleets that have gone through here
and off into history and so on.
And also, when we were kids, the chances are, when you got to
the geography section, there would be a great big picture there.
Yeah. Of the Needles, yeah.
I mean, all credit to John.
Today has been a perfect day.
We did. The plans worked out and, on this kind of sail, the more you
put in, the more you get out and the more you feel just satisfaction.
This is perfect.
I mean, this is what it's about.
To the Needles. To the Needles. To our brave crew. Yeah.
To us, really. To us.
Next time, we're in Cornwall, singing...
..racing.
It's impressive.
And I might get to fulfil a childhood dream.
Do you want any help with this?
You can have a go in a moment.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media