1 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:09,200 I'm cruising the River Severn, looking for something to eat. 2 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,640 And, in that, I'm not alone, 3 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:18,360 because I'm surrounded by millions of seasonal visitors doing the same thing. 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,960 You can't see them, they're only that long. 5 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,760 I hope to head a few of them off downstream. 6 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,960 'They better hope I don't, or they'll be in hot water.' 7 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,000 'Or possibly hot fat - I haven't decided yet.' 8 00:00:54,560 --> 00:01:00,320 'Eels breed half a mile underwater in the Sargasso Sea in the North Atlantic.' 9 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:06,160 'The larvae form a ball, which drifts with the Gulf Stream towards Europe.' 10 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,960 'When they get here they are free-swimming elvers.' 11 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:14,760 'Their every effort is focused on getting to fresh water.' 12 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:21,520 'Every year, they swim past the fiercely guarded tump of elverman Hartley Everett.' 13 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:25,960 What would happen if you found somebody fishing on your tump? 14 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,960 We had a bit of a fracas last year. 15 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,760 There was a bit of a dust-up. 16 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,560 That was the first night we went. 17 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,960 But things have calmed down. 18 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,960 We shall see what's here today. 19 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,240 You don't just scoop it, you peg it down? 20 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,000 And the net has to be on the bottom. 21 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:55,160 'It seemed optimistic to be fishing just a yard of such a big river, 22 00:01:55,200 --> 00:02:02,160 but Hartley explained that when the tide turns, elvers hug the bank to avoid being swept out to sea.' 23 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,960 What is the strategy? 24 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,760 I'm making sure we don't get any escapees. 25 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,760 Building a dam? That's right. 26 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,360 There is a song about this. 27 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,760 Yeah. We won't sing it today. No, definitely not. 28 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,800 Get him up against the headboard. 29 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,960 'Setting up an elver net isn't as easy as Hartley makes it look.' 30 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,000 That's a good 'un. 31 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,560 'The elvers' urge to head upstream 32 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:38,640 makes these square, shallow nets surprisingly effective.' 33 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,560 They'll just swim against the net. 34 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,320 They won't swim out again? 35 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,160 They do later in the year. They get wiser. 36 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,560 An elver that big is stupid, an elver that big is cleverer? 37 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,360 Yes. They're 10% higher then. 38 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,400 10% cleverer? Yeah, than a cabbage. 39 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:05,160 I reckon it's time for a... Turn him or you'll tip 'em out. 40 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,560 Wash him as well. 41 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,360 Give it a rinse? 42 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:12,360 You want to tip him up or they'll be out. See? 43 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,400 Right. 44 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,560 Hmm. Oh, I have got one! 45 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,360 I've got one. One little titch. There he goes. 46 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,400 Wriggly little thing. Which makes it one-nil. 47 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,960 There could be a slight improvement. 48 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,160 You've got loads ? It's not surprising, you're in front of my net 49 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,880 None. 50 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,960 I think that's one-nil, Hartley. 51 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,360 Wait till it gets darker. Things will look up. 52 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,560 'I certainly hoped so.' 53 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:53,560 'If I split a single elver with Hartley, I think I'd end up with less than the lion's share.' 54 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,560 'He explained that eels are chiefly nocturnal 55 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,400 and the real elver run begins after dark.' 56 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,160 'He's an incredible little creature' 57 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:12,960 'Comes several thousand miles from the Sargasso Sea.' 58 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,960 'He's three years when he gets here' 'One of the great journeys.' 59 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,960 'Certainly is.' 60 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,560 'Like a man walking to the moon.' 61 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,560 'It's a gigantic journey for them.' 62 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,960 'And at the end of it all they end up in your net.' 63 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,320 'Yes. They end up in the frying pan' 64 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:35,160 'Hartley's well-positioned net left me with scarce pickings.' 65 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,360 'In the small hours I slunk back to the bain-marie 66 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,560 and let him pursue the elvers alone.' 67 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,560 'But he did promise to bring me breakfast.' 68 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,960 Morning. Good morning, Hugh. 69 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:56,680 How did you get on after I left? We stayed till daylight. 70 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,960 I thought you were catching elvers, not pilfering ostrich eggs. 71 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,560 I managed to burgle those ostrich eggs last night. 72 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,960 Is this part of your recipe? 73 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,760 Yes. 74 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,960 You keep your eye off the eggs. You have done well. 75 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,760 I must have caught a few of those. 76 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,360 You got six, didn't you? 77 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,160 'Elvers have a protective slime, or vomp, 78 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:24,960 so they need a thorough rinsing and drying before cooking.' 79 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,960 We're trying to get rid of their slime? 80 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,960 That's right. 81 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,720 That's it. 82 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,840 'I challenged Hartley to a cook-off.' 83 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:40,920 'He prepared them the traditional Gloucestershire way, with local bacon and a fried goose egg, 84 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:45,640 while I did it the Spanish way, with garlic, chilli flakes 85 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,680 and rock salt.' 86 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,680 You want to get the bleeders dead quickly. 87 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,200 It's disconcerting having them wriggling all over. 88 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,960 Here he is. 89 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:07,640 That's the most impressive fried egg I've ever seen. 90 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,160 There's one other thing that goes in. 91 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,960 Oh! 92 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,880 Just to pep it up a bit. 93 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,680 Think I should turn this ostrich egg, Hugh. 94 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,720 Neatly done. Yep. 95 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,160 There you go. That's for you. 96 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,000 Right. And you can take yours. 97 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,360 And we'll see... 98 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:33,560 I'm aiming for the perfect mouthful. A bit of bacon... 99 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:38,000 We'll see what these are like. ..a bit of egg, plenty of eels. 100 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,880 Mmm. Very nice. 101 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,960 You want to... Absolutely lovely. You want to do the vice versa? 102 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,800 Yep. Right. A sample of yours. 103 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,800 What you've done here, Hartley, is so good. 104 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,560 I hope that was interesting. 105 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,960 Mmm. You like it that way? 106 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,600 These are really lovely. Look at that. 107 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,760 This is one of the best catch-and-cooks I've ever done. 108 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,560 Good. 109 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,360 Can I have a bit more of yours? 110 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,200 You certainly can. One more swap. 111 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:31,800 'After such a hefty breakfast a long bike ride seemed as good a way as any to work off elver calories.' 112 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:42,160 In the days before bicycles and canals, transport options for ambitious travellers were limited. 113 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,960 Most people made do with their feet. 114 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:49,960 The most dedicated band of pedestrians were medieval pilgrims. 115 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:54,760 The fuel for their journey was the spirit of the Lord. 116 00:07:54,800 --> 00:08:00,360 I've got my pilgrim's hat on and I'm in the mood for self-improvement. 117 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,240 Naturally, I'm on my way to church. 118 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,640 'I should be there just in time for the lesson.' 119 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:14,360 'Today's lesson is no biblical text, but a rendezvous at a Herefordshire pilgrim site, 120 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,280 with expert on hedgerow history and folklore Roger Worsley.' 121 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,760 There are so many things you can eat. 122 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:26,440 You can make teas and spreads and soups and so on. 123 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:32,680 Even peasants knew the names and uses of about 300 different plants. 124 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,920 Every plant was supposed to carry a sign from God on it. 125 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,960 The doctrine of signatures, posh people called it. 126 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:45,760 It meant there was a sign on every plant saying what it was good for. 127 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,000 Look at these lesser celandines. 128 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:56,960 These sunlight flowers open when the sun shines on them. 129 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:02,720 The Saxons who introduced this plant said, "If these plants can see, 130 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,280 they might help us to see." 131 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:10,360 We're both short-sighted. Another thing you need to do is dig some up. 132 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:14,560 Get out your implements and see what's underneath. 133 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:19,600 This plant has more than one use. There we go. Now, then... 134 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,560 Ah, look. You see? 135 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:27,320 These white bulbils, the Saxons called them, 136 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:32,440 they looked - they had strong imaginations - like piles. 137 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:33,960 The other name of this was pilewort. 138 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,360 That's what piles look like? Glad I know! 139 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,160 They'd make a medicine out of this. 140 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,360 Which end it was applied to we won't go into. 141 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:48,160 Living on a damp boat, you can't be too careful. 142 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,960 I'll stash some of this for my medicine cabinet. 143 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,000 Good. 144 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,160 This little tiny trickle 145 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:04,160 is going to go on to become a tributary of the Severn shortly. 146 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,200 So if I head downstream I'd go to my boat? Indeed you would. 147 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,720 This stuff looks... Watch it! 148 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,240 For heaven's sake, don't touch that. 149 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,960 This is hemlock water dropwort. 150 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,360 Looks like celery or parsley. 151 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,560 It could be chervil. 152 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,960 You never find chervil growing with its feet in water. 153 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:32,640 You'll never find this one growing along the hedge where chervil does. 154 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:39,440 One innocent leaf would have you at the undertaker's by the end of the day. 155 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,160 They are extremely poisonous. 156 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,160 'We searched for less lethal spring greens.' 157 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:50,400 'We found abundant wild garlic, hairy bittercress, 158 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,360 primroses and dandelion leaves.' 159 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:04,960 'While Roger composed a 15th century pilgrim's hedgerow salad, 160 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:12,200 I brought my pedal-fanned, charcoal-fuelled gastrobike up to omelette-cooking speed.' 161 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,400 What do you think of my gastrobike? 162 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,720 Should I call it "cuisine-cyclette"? Who knows? 163 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,160 See? Fizz, fizz. 164 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,160 Oh, it works. A good omelette heat? 165 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,160 Whack it all in. 166 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,160 Watch the edges. 167 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,400 What else can you cook besides omelettes? 168 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:48,640 Underneath here is a fully fledged barbie. 169 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:52,160 I don't think there's much we couldn't cook on this. 170 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,760 What do you think the pilgrims would have thought of this contraption? 171 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,520 They'd have burnt you as a witch. 172 00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:04,600 Barbecued, straightaway, without benefit of clergy, as they say. 173 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,960 I think we're ready to sit down and enjoy our pilgrim's feast. 174 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,160 Good. Wild garlic omelette. 175 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:16,160 Accompanied by your beautiful hedgerow salad. 176 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,360 A la lanterne, or whatever it is one says. 177 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,400 Cheers. 178 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,000 Mmm. 179 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,560 Not too runny for you? 180 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,560 Good and biscuity. 181 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,760 The garlic has punched right through. 182 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,920 Lovely. What you're supposed to do with this... 183 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:38,160 There's a bit of chervil - Roman introduction - 184 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,160 dip it in there, and down it goes. 185 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:45,360 What's that one? That's a pennywort - an aphrodisiac. 186 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,360 Ah! Right. 187 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,800 How romantic. 188 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,360 That's a very good dressing. Some honey? 189 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,360 Honey, dill mustard, wine vinegar. 190 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,560 If you hadn't been there, I'd have ended up with hemlock water dropwort. 191 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,280 You'd certainly have ended up, yes. You saved my life. 192 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:23,600 'Arriving in the Midlands, you're reminded why the canals were built.' 193 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:29,560 As a major route for the raw materials of the Industrial Revolution. 194 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:35,160 'They're an interesting habitat, but they weren't meant to be kind to nature.' 195 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:39,320 'On the contrary, they were about harnessing and dominating nature 196 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,000 'for the benefit of man.' 197 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,680 Today, the canal's given over largely to leisure. 198 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,960 One leisure pursuit is also about the domination of nature. 199 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,760 Fish thrive in the canals, and so do anglers. 200 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:01,560 One fish in this part of the canal has become notorious. 201 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:07,320 The zander is a voracious predator at the top of the canal food chain. 202 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,280 Well, almost at the top. 203 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,360 Just because you're a goldfish, you think that makes you special? 204 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:19,040 As far as I'm concerned, you're just small fish. 205 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:24,600 Which means very good bait for catching big fish. 206 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,760 'In pursuit of zander, and armed with colourful live bait, 207 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:34,440 I enlisted the help of angler Wayne Northall.' 208 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:38,160 All right, Jack, Wayne. How are you? 209 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,360 Any luck? Nothing at all. Not a bite. 210 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,440 Are you surprised? 211 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,000 Not particularly, no. 212 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,280 What bait are you using to catch your zander? 213 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,480 I thought I'd give these a go. 214 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,080 Oh, smashing! 215 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,560 I've been keeping them on board. 216 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,600 It'd be wrong to use those. 217 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,720 You're only supposed to use fish caught out of the water. 218 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,920 You could transfer a disease into the water. Right. 219 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:10,080 That's a strict rule, is it? Yeah. That's a strict rule. 220 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:15,400 'Wayne bought the life of my goldfish with a dead and smelly sprat, 221 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,080 which he assured me was a good bait for zander.' 222 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,200 'After this good deed, his luck changed.' 223 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,120 Come to Wayne. 224 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,480 Gudgeon. 225 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,360 You're gonna catch my supper at this rate. 226 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,160 HE LAUGHS 227 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,360 Gudgeon is absolutely prime. But how many do you need for a meal? 228 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,120 Thirty-odd. I think that was the Lone Ranger. 229 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:40,520 You've just caught the last fish?! 230 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,360 I don't know. 231 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,160 The zander's not your favourite fish, then? 232 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:49,160 I hate the bloody things. Why is that? 233 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:53,160 They decimate the fish stocks. They breed that quick, 234 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:58,560 they eat everything up to 4oz, so there'll be no breeding fish left 235 00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,960 How did they all get here? 236 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,600 Rumour has it, some blokes from Coventry introduced them in 1974, 237 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:09,680 because of a grievance against Coventry Angling Club. 238 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,760 They've decimated the canal system's fish stocks. 239 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,760 Savaging everything in the canal? It's that bad? 240 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,760 That's exactly what they're doing. Yeah. 241 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,040 They are the elite predator. 242 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:27,760 So you fish for zander out of hatred rather than love of the sport? 243 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,880 That's right, yeah. Your bung's gone. Look. 244 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,920 Here we go. 245 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,800 You want that netting? I'll need some help in a minute. 246 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,040 That fish is 400 times larger than that gudgeon. 247 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,960 Couldn't you be more excited about it? 248 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000 I'll be excited in a minute. 249 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,600 I'll know where he's going. 250 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,560 Sorry. Done this before(?) 251 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,000 A bit out of practice. 252 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,960 Wow! One zander! 253 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,680 What a beast! 254 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,960 Doesn't give you any pleasure? Not at all. 255 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,800 Doubly hooked. God, they've got hard mouths. 256 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,200 Give the ugly beast here - I'll show you how to do that. 257 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:35,320 'I left Wayne waging war against zander to see if I could catch one of my own further down the canal.' 258 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:42,240 'Then I happened on a scene that would've brought a smile even to Wayne's face.' 259 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:47,640 'The canal authorities were electric fishing to cull the zander.' 260 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:53,160 You've got 240 volts going out in a V in front of the boat? 261 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,360 It's 240 volts and about 13 amps. 262 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,360 The little ones come up first? 263 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,800 Some of them do, yeah. 264 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,400 Wow! Well spotted. 265 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,560 Fishing the easy way. That's right. 266 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,560 'Techno fishing is my cup of tea, 267 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,800 especially when I get to keep all the zander I want.' 268 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:41,440 'The next day, I was faced with the challenge of what to do with my zander surplus.' 269 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,760 'When you don't have a freezer, one solution can be found in the woods.' 270 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,160 'I found the forester was felling pine.' 271 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,600 'He pointed me to what I was really after - 272 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,480 a nice pile of oak sawdust.' 273 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:35,000 Apart from gutting them, there's another important job with these chaps. 274 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:45,840 These are tough creatures with an armour plating of thick scales. 275 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:50,200 Before we can do any cooking, we've got to get rid of those. 276 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:56,560 Especially if my smoke is going to penetrate to give a nice oaky, smoky flavour. 277 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,360 'Salt rubbed into the fish helps to preserve it.' 278 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:09,280 'A long, cool smoke - six or seven hours at 35 degrees centigrade - 279 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,400 will do the rest.' 280 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,360 'While the zander was smoking I headed up the canal 281 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,640 on a reckless mission to convert Wayne to the joys of zander cuisine.' 282 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:59,920 I'm so flush with these fabulous fish that I've devoted a whole one just to making my stock. 283 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:04,520 I've also allowed myself a big one for my main dish, 284 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,160 which requires a couple of prime fillets. 285 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:13,160 It's a good fish to fillet, because it's thick and round-bodied. 286 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:17,680 Who in their right mind would go fishing, catch one of these, 287 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:22,440 throw it back, and then go home for microwaved frozen lasagne? 288 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:27,720 On the other hand, who in their right mind 289 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,960 would be cooking alfresco on a day like this, 290 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,760 with frozen fingers and a blunt knife, 291 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,760 trying to get a fillet off this slippery beast? 292 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,040 There we go. 293 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:49,400 'An old-fashioned cast-iron grill pan is a great cooking tool for fish.' 294 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,880 'A sprinkling of fennel seeds and a few charred bay leaves should infuse 295 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,480 'the zander with plenty of flavour.' 296 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,600 'A few minutes on each side is all it takes.' 297 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:13,120 'The sauce is a simple reduction of fish stock and birch-sap wine, 298 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,480 spiked with wild juniper berries - 299 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,640 'a challenge for the forager, since they only ripen every two years.' 300 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:27,200 'A good dollop of double cream thickens the sauce.' 301 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:46,240 'Such presentation is intended to counteract the hideous weather.' 302 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:51,800 'But it hardly makes up for a no-show from my expected guest.' 303 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,760 Well, that...is sensationally good. 304 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,560 And Wayne'll just have to take my word for it. 305 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:05,560 I was hoping he'd join me for my little feast, 306 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,760 and he said he'd try. 307 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:12,200 Then he muttered something about karaoke night at the working men's club. 308 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:17,400 'I guess some people haven't got the stomach for the outdoor life.' 309 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,600 KARAOKE VERSION OF "AMERICAN PIE"