1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:08,160 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:08,160 Ecstasy has become one of Britain's most notorious drugs. 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,880 The messier they look, the better time they're having. 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,240 No other illegal substance has had such an effect on fashion, music 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,680 and how we party. 6 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,480 Everyone's moving, and... 7 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:22,000 and doing that all night, all night. 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,760 20 years on from its acid house heyday, E and its crystal form MDMA... 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:31,640 Oh! ..still rank in the top three most popular illegal drugs in the UK. 10 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,680 Cos it's perfect. 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,280 It's MDM-amazing! 12 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,920 But for some people, ecstasy has caused agony. 13 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,920 They said to my mum and dad, "I think you might need to sort 14 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,440 "the funeral arrangements out for your daughter". Chin-chin. 15 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,000 We follow two ecstasy users over one night, 16 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:54,000 and journey inside the body and the brain to find out how the drug creates its highs... 17 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,040 and its lows. 18 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,520 We've gone over the mountain, and now we're on our descent. 19 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:04,360 With access to cutting edge science, we find out why ecstasy is known as the love drug. 20 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,880 Will you give me a hug? Thank you, darling. 21 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,400 It's a drug that has changed some lives irreversibly. 22 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,520 We were just doing MDMA to be close. 23 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,120 Killer chemical or the ultimate feelgood high? 24 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,880 This is the inside story of how ecstasy works. 25 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:34,240 Every year in the UK, over half a million people use ecstasy. 26 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,120 It's become a big feature of British club culture, 27 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,360 despite possession carrying a maximum prison term of seven years. 28 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,760 Recently, many users have swapped pills for the crystal form 29 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,680 of the drug, named after its main active ingredient, MDMA. 30 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:52,240 It's MDMA that's responsible for the unique combination 31 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:56,520 of energy and empathy that have become the drug's hallmarks. 32 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,240 Katie is a 20-year old student in her first year at university. 33 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:09,440 She's been an occasional ecstasy user for four years. 34 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,120 So this is the first time I took it, MD. 35 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:16,520 I can't believe that I'm actually showing this to the camera. 36 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,320 We were all too young to be going out clubbing, 37 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,640 so it was just getting messy in a park. 38 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,520 We researched it a bit actually, to start with. 39 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,160 I was on Google, a bit scared. 40 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,600 Did half each to start with. We were timing it. 41 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:33,320 Was convinced it wasn't working and listened to a tune on my mobile phone 42 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,160 that I loved, and the next thing I know, I was buzzing. 43 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,280 It was just, I guess, pure ecstasy. 44 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,840 Even that horrible little park that we were sat in was beautiful. 45 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:49,000 Tonight, Katie plans to take MDMA at a drum and bass night. 46 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,960 Oh, it's a lovely big gram. Just got this off a guy. 47 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,480 You know, went to see a man about a dog. 48 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,240 Oh, God! 49 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,400 She wraps the MDMA in cigarette papers to make what are called bombs. 50 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,280 I don't like the idea that I'd have to keep taking out a packet in a club. 51 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:13,960 It'd be a lot more chance that I'd get caught doing it that way. 52 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:19,360 Katie takes MDMA or ecstasy on average once or twice a month. 53 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,440 It's not the only thing I'm into. 54 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:26,080 I do it now and again, but they do accentuate experiences and stuff, 55 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,400 so, yeah, I could easily live without them, 56 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,600 but while they're there, I'm going to use the resources that we got. 57 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,720 Oh, God, my hair is awful. 58 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,000 I don't know why I care so much, because the state of me later on, I won't give a shit. 59 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,320 I guess that's why I try to make such an effort before I go out, 60 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,360 cos I know how downhill it's going to go, visually. 61 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,680 After the first drop, I'm going to be in bits. 62 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,680 Oh. I'll open that one last. 63 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,680 I can't wait to go out and get messy! 64 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:02,720 Katie doesn't usually drop her first bomb of MDMA until she's just about ready to hit the club. 65 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:07,160 That way, she hopes she won't appear too high at the door. 66 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,480 I've got a little bomb here, cos I don't want to overdo things. 67 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,000 Chin-chin! 68 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:23,040 Whether it's taken as a pill or as crystals, most users of ecstasy take the drug orally. 69 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,880 It starts to disintegrate into the stomach, and by the time it reaches the small intestine, 70 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,920 the particles are small enough to be absorbed into the bloodstream. 71 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:35,880 The drug is pumped to the heart and lungs and then to the rest of the body. 72 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,400 At the brain, the molecules are carried through tiny capillaries 73 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,400 whose walls are thick enough to protect the brain from most impurities. 74 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,960 But MDMA molecules can slip through the capillary walls and cross into the brain. 75 00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:02,640 After a bomb of MDMA and a couple of cans of cider, Katie's starting to feel in the party mood. 76 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,760 I don't really know if I'm coming up, 77 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:09,520 but if I'm pretty bloody honest, I'm feeling pretty fantastic. 78 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,680 It's a jumble gym, it's the jumble gym tonight, lads. 79 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:17,920 MDMA, the main active ingredient in ecstasy, was first synthesised 80 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:22,960 in Germany in 1912 and was originally intended to be used as a blood-clotting agent. 81 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,720 By the 1980s, MDMA had seeped out of the laboratory 82 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:32,560 and was being used recreationally in nightclubs in the USA and Ibiza. 83 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:36,840 Its euphoric effects earned it the new name ecstasy. 84 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,680 The new club drug was banned, 85 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,400 but this did little to dent its popularity. 86 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,280 By the early '90s, over half-a-million pills were being taken 87 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:53,520 every weekend in the UK, at legendary clubs like Shoom, The Trip and the Hacienda. 88 00:05:55,880 --> 00:06:02,320 Its illegal status meant there was no regulation over how the drug was made and what was put into it. 89 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:09,440 John Ramsey is an expert on what's in ecstasy. 90 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:14,840 He runs a drugs database and has collected hundreds of ecstasy pills over the past 20 years. 91 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:21,640 This is an ecstasy tablet that's got the Mitsubishi logo on. 92 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:25,640 Many pills have street names that reference famous brands, 93 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,800 and tests have shown a huge variation in their quality. 94 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:35,320 I'm sure people do believe that if they buy the same brand marking, they'll get the same product. 95 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:40,040 But of course, the amount of drug varies significantly from tablet to tablet. 96 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,080 At the 2009 Glastonbury Festival, John Ramsey's tests 97 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:49,760 on confiscated pills showed just 8% contained MDMA. 98 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:54,000 Today, he's testing three different pills with the same logo 99 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,280 to find out if they are the genuine article. 100 00:06:56,280 --> 00:07:01,720 So this one here is forming the colour and these two aren't, so this one has MDMA in. 101 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,640 They're all tablets with a Mitsubishi logo on, but only 102 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,840 one of them contains the active drug that people actually want. 103 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:12,160 The trend at the moment is very much for pills not to contain MDMA at all, 104 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,600 and to contain CPP, which is what I expect one of these contains. 105 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:20,360 and I suspect the other one is probably plaster of Paris, which is just a complete rip-off. 106 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,120 CPP is a fairly nasty compound. 107 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,480 It causes headaches, it makes people feel nauseous and in fact, 108 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,840 CPP's even been used experimentally to induce migraine. 109 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,840 It's a very unpleasant compound. 110 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,840 What happened recently, I think, is people have lost confidence in 111 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:41,120 ecstasy tablets so you've seen the appearance of MDMA in crystal form, 112 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,960 and I think the general idea that crystals are pure caught on. 113 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:50,080 But just because the drug is pure, doesn't necessarily make it safe. 114 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,600 Safety is difficult, because we know that MDMA kills people. 115 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:58,160 At the height, probably 40 or 50 people a year were dying from MDMA. 116 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,880 We've seen very few, if any, deaths from CPP. 117 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:05,200 So it's probably no more dangerous, it just isn't what you expect. 118 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,560 19-year-old Robert has just successfully completed his A-levels 119 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,640 and has been enjoying the freedom of his gap year. 120 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,840 This has been the longest summer of my life. 121 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,720 It's been incredible, really. I mean, it started, you know, 122 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:27,160 with festivals and parties early on in the summer when I'd just finished 123 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:32,360 my A-levels and I'm finally letting my hair down after two years of quite hard work. 124 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:39,560 Robert discovered MDMA when he was 17, and takes the drug every few weeks at raves. 125 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:45,400 I don't want to go so far as to say that it's changed, like, my life, 126 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:50,360 but it has definitely had some sort of an impact on my outlook on life. 127 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:56,640 As a result of having more open and frank and honest conversations with my friends when I'm on the drug, 128 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,480 it's enabled me to be more open and honest with my friends when I'm off the drug. 129 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,160 Shall we call this number up? Yeah. 130 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:09,920 Tonight, Robert and his mates are planning to go to a secret Halloween rave. 131 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,320 The details of the party location are released on a mobile phone 132 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,600 answering service just two hours before the event starts. 133 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:22,000 'Tonight's party is at 80...Street' 134 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,560 What? 135 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,480 What station? Battersea Park rail, Vauxhall. 136 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,440 MAN: Are they legal, these parties? 137 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,280 I think... Are they...? They're topsy-turvy. 138 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,040 The police can't shut them down unless they've got a warrant. 139 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,840 Do you buy the MDMA when you get in the rave? 140 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,400 Nah. I've already got it. THEY LAUGH 141 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,760 This is half a gram. 142 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,440 How much did that cost? £20. 143 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:54,840 Everyone is on the same sort of level and a lot of them are on acid and things like that. 144 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,480 We're all just happy, happy hippies. 145 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,680 'The first time I took it, it was at this mansion party.' 146 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,560 I was running around, sort of... 147 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,880 filled with momentum and energy and full of pep and fire. 148 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,960 And I felt like I wanted to talk to everyone about everything, 149 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:16,040 and I felt much more interested in what other people had to say. 150 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:19,000 I felt like my views were a lot more worthwhile. 151 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,280 'It was a very, very interesting experience. Lots of fun.' 152 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,040 Shoes are off. Stripping! 153 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,520 Robert doesn't usually dress up at raves, 154 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,960 but as it's Halloween, he gets into the spirit. 155 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,600 He looks like the dude from The Big Lebowski. 156 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,000 It's a bit of a transformation, I'll admit. 157 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,400 It's a pretty strange location. 158 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:57,240 It looks to be like three or four different rooms connected by a big joint car park. 159 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,120 It's sort of ridiculous how often you get offered drugs. 160 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,720 Every fourth person you pass says, "MDMA, ket, speed, pills?" 161 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,440 "MDMA, ket, speed, pills?" 162 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,560 "MDMA, acid, ket, speed, pills, weed, skunk..." Anything. 163 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,680 Anything you want, you can get here. It's sort of absurd. 164 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:25,920 After half an hour in the rave, Robert feels settled enough for his first hit of MDMA. 165 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:30,800 He crushes the crystals into a powder, so he can sniff the drug. 166 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:45,160 When MDMA is snorted, it rockets up the nostril and coats the nasal walls. 167 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:51,400 MDMA molecules are absorbed through the nasal membrane directly into capillaries on the other side. 168 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,800 Within 20 minutes, the blood has carried the MDMA around the body 169 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,680 and into the brain, where it's ready to start work. 170 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:07,240 Snorting MDMA is not a particularly pleasant experience. 171 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,640 The crystals are quite large and it hurts a little, 172 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,560 but it helps you feel the effects faster. 173 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:18,640 I've only just got here and I'm just sort of getting the party off to a flying start, I suppose. 174 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:25,640 I mean, it hasn't hit me yet, and once it does, I'll be talking at 175 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:29,880 a mile a minute and making friends with everyone you see there. 176 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,320 Complete strangers, but it'll be the empathy kicking in. 177 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:43,440 It's been over 45 minutes since Katie took her first MDMA bomb, 178 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,880 and signs of its effects are becoming apparent. 179 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,320 This is going to be such a good night. I know, I can feel it. 180 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,120 But I love you. I love you too. 181 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:58,120 The key to how we act and feel lies deep inside the brain, 182 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:03,800 where millions of nerve cells communicate by sending electrical messages through networks. 183 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,320 Where one nerve meets another, there are tiny gaps. 184 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:12,200 Here, the messages are relayed by the release of chemicals. 185 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:17,280 In one network, ecstasy disrupts how these chemical messages are sent, 186 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,320 and this can create intensely sociable feelings in the user. 187 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,880 I don't feel cold any more. 188 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,160 I'm just feeling full of love, full of warmth... 189 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:29,720 Once ecstasy gets inside the brain, in the gaps between nerve cells, 190 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,440 it releases the chemical serotonin, which affects our mood. 191 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:39,000 Serotonin latches on to receptors on the neighbouring nerve cell, 192 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,080 starting a chain reaction of feelgood messages. 193 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,840 Normally, excess serotonin is reabsorbed into the nerve cell 194 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,920 that released it, but MDMA stops this process happening. 195 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:55,200 It means serotonin builds up in the gap, 196 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,480 and the loved-up messages increase. 197 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,160 I wish every single person on the street was my best friend. 198 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,240 Can you give me a hug? 199 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,240 And they will be by the end of the night, believe you me. 200 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,800 Will you give me a hug? 201 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,880 Wheeeeeeey! 202 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:26,280 Let's get in there and skank all over, babe, to some dirty dubstep beats. 203 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,720 There's definitely a connection when you do it with a good group of people. 204 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:41,280 It really is "I love you!", cos you love everything, like nothing could be better. 205 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:48,280 At the time, anyway, you think you're making these lifelong bonds. 206 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,760 I've made friends with about 25% of the club, 207 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,840 but we've still got a long way to go. Long way. 208 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:04,520 People are just on the level in there. Everyone's loving everything. 209 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,440 And everyone's good and I'm good and you're good and we're good. 210 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,320 It's perfect, and it's MDMA-zing! 211 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,280 The loved-up experience is heightened because the flood 212 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:21,200 of serotonin also triggers the release of a hormone called oxytocin from a gland in the brain. 213 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,360 Oxytocin is known as the "cuddle chemical", and is naturally released 214 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:33,040 to help human bonding, for example, after sex. 215 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,400 It could almost be equivalent to a post-orgasmic bliss, 216 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,440 as some people have described it. 217 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:46,440 Even in the wild environment of the rave, perhaps there is this bonding happening between strangers. 218 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,760 I know the kind of communal spirit it is when everyone's on the same drug 219 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:55,160 and everyone's loving something the same way. It's special. 220 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:01,640 And a lot of people there are loving it the same way, trust me. 221 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:09,240 Whilst users have long raved about ecstasy's ability to create empathy, 222 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:13,560 scientists still know relatively little about how this effect of the drug works. 223 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:20,120 At the University of Chicago, scientists have been granted 224 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:25,480 permission to observe recreational users under the influence of MDMA. 225 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,680 31-year-old Svet has volunteered to take part. 226 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,240 He's been an occasional user for around ten years. 227 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:36,440 Every time is different. Last time, it was just me and my girlfriend. 228 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:43,120 The time before, it was a birthday party of a friend of mine and it was just purely dancing. 229 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,640 Scientists hope that if they can learn more about why ecstasy creates empathy, 230 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:54,320 it could show how the drug might be used as a prescription medicine, for example, for people in therapy. 231 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,400 Morning. How are you? 232 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,240 Good to see you. I'm going to give you your capsule now. 233 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,320 There's two capsules. 234 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,320 Svet is given 95mg of MDMA, 235 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:06,960 although he is unaware if this is the real thing or a placebo. 236 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,480 If the participant knew, they might have, sort of, expectations. 237 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,360 They know that, you know, maybe receiving a stimulant 238 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,720 is supposed to make them sort of excited and upbeat. 239 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:22,280 But an hour after taking the drug, Svet is pretty sure he knows what he's taken. 240 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:28,680 Well, I believe I get some ecstasy today for free. 241 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,640 You all right? Quite delightful. 242 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,760 Quite delightful? OK. 243 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:39,360 In his first task, Svet is shown pictures of people with different facial expressions. 244 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:46,360 For each one, he must decide if the expression is happy, sad, angry, fearful or neutral. 245 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:50,880 The exercise is designed to find out if ecstasy increases or decreases 246 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,080 our ability to recognise emotions in others. 247 00:17:55,640 --> 00:18:00,400 We would like to see really whether it increases the ability to, kind of, discriminate 248 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:05,520 more finely tuned emotions or whether, if a fearful face comes up, 249 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:10,880 are they good at recognising that that's actually a fearful face, or do they mistake it for anger? 250 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,280 Results so far suggest that ecstasy actually decreases 251 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:18,360 the user's ability to read negative emotions in others. 252 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,880 This could be why they are able to socialise more confidently after 253 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:27,120 taking the drug, because they are oblivious to the negative emotional cues others may be giving off. 254 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,960 All right, so this is your last task. 255 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,760 Basically, you're going to see a series of photos of different people, 256 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,960 and it's going to ask you to rate those faces on how you feel about them 257 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,600 for a variety of, kind of, adjectives. OK. 258 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:47,240 In this task, Svet must rate each person he sees on how attractive, 259 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,640 intelligent and trustworthy they look. 260 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,440 I think that it would increase empathetic feelings, kind of pro-social feelings. 261 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,320 So we would expect that it would increase feelings of trustworthiness, 262 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:02,960 of friendliness, possibly attractiveness. 263 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:07,960 So not only does MDMA make users miss negative emotional cues in others, 264 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:14,240 experts believe it could also lead them to apply positive attributes to people they meet. 265 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,360 Having completed all his tasks, 266 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:23,680 Svet has a craving to test the effects of MDMA in a more familiar environment. 267 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:29,880 It's really weird to take something here in a small room. 268 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,800 For me personally, this is a party drug. 269 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:39,320 If there is a house, I would dance, like some frisky dance, 270 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,800 with a lovely lady. 271 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,960 I want to dance my ass, though. 272 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:59,960 At the rave in south London, the line of MDMA Robert took earlier is starting to kick in. 273 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,040 It is hitting me a bit now. 274 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,560 I feel more forced to move to the music that I hear. 275 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,120 You sort of feel full of energy once it's hit you. 276 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:17,440 I mean, they call it rolling in America, and that's almost what it feels like. 277 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,520 You're sort of rolling with the momentum that it gives you. 278 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,720 The classic view that people have of someone that's taken ecstasy is 279 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,920 someone dancing all night in a nightclub, and if you ever look 280 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,800 at old footage of clubs in the early '90s, people are gurning away, 281 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,640 doing their "big fish, little fish, box" dances. 282 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,360 MUSIC: "We Call It Acieed" by D Mob 283 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:45,280 Ecstasy's reputation as the drug that makes you dance was sealed 284 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,960 during the acid house scene of the late '80s and early '90s. 285 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,680 People who hated dance music dropped a pill and started to like it. 286 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:57,480 At its height, there were over 100 illegal outdoor raves every weekend, 287 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,840 some attracting up to 20,000 revellers. 288 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,920 dancing for days at a time. 289 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,840 The dancing was very visual, it was very hands, you know? 290 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,400 It was like... you know, 291 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:14,440 it was...everyone's moving and doing that all night, all night. 292 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,520 The whole club. 293 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,840 The energetic high that ravers feel on the dancefloor happens 294 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,400 because ecstasy triggers activity in another network in the brain. 295 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:35,760 In this network, a chemical messenger called dopamine transmits messages that control movement. 296 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:41,040 It all results in a burst of physical energy. 297 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,320 You will dance to anything. 298 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,360 Anything. 299 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:51,160 Even Soldier Boy by Justin Bieber. 300 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,040 But...actually, maybe not Justin. Nah, let me take that out! 301 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:03,160 What we see after high doses of MDMA, in humans and in particular laboratory animals, 302 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,120 is that we see quite stereotypical movements. 303 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:11,040 A rat will start running round its cage in a predictable manner. 304 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,000 We can also see that in humans. 305 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:19,840 Ecstasy users are famous for dancing in a repetitive style, hour after hour. 306 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,320 That's because dopamine release in this part of the brain, 307 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:28,160 the prefrontal cortex, makes them focus attention on one particular task - 308 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,920 in this case, dancing. 309 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,720 For Katie, the way ecstasy allows her to focus 310 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,640 on her favourite drum and bass music is a key attraction of the drug. 311 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,520 RUMBLING BASS SOUNDS IN BACKGROUND 312 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:42,800 That noise right there. 313 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,920 I don't know if you can hear that, but that "waah, waah, waah", 314 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,640 that is my call to nature. 315 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:56,480 It's almost like an out-of-body experience. 316 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,560 You actually feel connected to the music. 317 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,560 I just can't stop. I don't want the music to stop. 318 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,320 You can hear every level of it and other levels. 319 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,880 Ravers can focus on music more intensely after taking ecstasy 320 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:15,360 because of how the drug affects the brain's basic operating system. 321 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:20,520 Nerves in this network control and order what's going on all over the brain, 322 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,680 and make sure we stay focused on the stuff that's important. 323 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:30,600 When chemical messengers are released from cells in this network, instead of stimulating activity, 324 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:36,200 it dampens things down, allowing other more creative areas of the brain to run free. 325 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,440 There's a lot of serotonin receptors in that part of the brain, 326 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,440 and we think if you switch on serotonin, 327 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,960 you actually dampen down that brain's ability, 328 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,560 so the headmaster is no longer there and the kids can run riot. 329 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:51,800 So for example, the part of the brain that processes sound 330 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,600 allows us to hear and interpret music in new and interesting ways. 331 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,760 Because I've always been into drum and bass, it just makes it so much better. 332 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:08,600 The music's chaotic, everything's going off, so you can get into it a lot more. 333 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,040 I think people that are into pop, 334 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:16,600 and going to watch a Spice Girls gig, wouldn't necessarily be taking MD. 335 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:23,000 As appealing as many people find ecstasy, no-one knows for sure if it causes significant long term damage. 336 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,680 But we do know that in rare cases, ecstasy can kill. 337 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:31,440 And when such tragedies happen, the affect on family and friends is devastating. 338 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:40,680 18-year-old Leah Betts became front page news in 1995, when she died 339 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:46,080 after taking an ecstasy pill and her father launched a campaign to raise awareness of the drug's dangers. 340 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,840 There's a picture of my daughter 341 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,320 as she's laying in bed now. 342 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,120 My daughter paid £10 for this pill 343 00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:01,440 that's very likely to cost her her life... 344 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,080 ..and break up the family. 345 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:17,680 When Des Delaney lost his daughter Siobhan in 2005, ecstasy was implicated in the tragedy. 346 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:26,480 I never really heard about ecstasy until the death of Leah Betts and the publicity over it. 347 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:30,320 Raves and things like that, we didn't really have anything like that around this area. 348 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,560 We used to explain to Siobhan about Leah Betts, 349 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,880 about the dangers what are out there. 350 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:47,080 We just go through life, don't we, thinking everything's perfect. 351 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,080 On the night before Siobhan died, she had been out at a bar in Liverpool, 352 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,320 where she was alleged to have taken ecstasy. 353 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:58,680 The following day at home, she started having seizures and was rushed to hospital. 354 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,400 Doctors said Siobhan had suffered a condition called hyponatremia, 355 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,920 which was also implicated in the death of Leah Betts. 356 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:16,800 Hyponatremia is a rare condition in which the levels of water in the blood become dangerously high. 357 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:22,280 Ecstasy users are at risk because MDMA triggers a hormone that can make it difficult to urinate, 358 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:26,000 so they conserve more water than usual. 359 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:32,400 Also, people on ecstasy may drink more because they are dancing all night in hot, sweaty nightclubs. 360 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:37,200 This can raise the water levels in the body even further. 361 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:42,320 High levels of water in the blood can cause massive problems when the blood reaches the brain. 362 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:47,160 The cells swell with water, causing the brain to crush against the skull. 363 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:52,000 In catastrophic cases, the swollen brain pushes down on the spinal column. 364 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,480 Ecstasy was the initial cause of Siobhan's death. 365 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:03,400 How many ecstasy tables were said to have been taken by Siobhan? 366 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,360 Half a tablet. 367 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:08,520 But that's how dangerous the drug is, isn't it? 368 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,680 People have got to know what's out there, the dangers out there. 369 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:22,080 Katie is all too aware of the worry her teenage use of ecstasy caused her own family. 370 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,360 I feel like I was too young, when I look back on it now. 371 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:28,000 You look at a 16-year-old when they're off their head, 372 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,560 walking down the road, it just doesn't look nice, 373 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:35,160 and for the stress that it put my family through, that's not nice for any parent to go through. 374 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:39,560 And I understand that now. What do you think you'll say about drugs when you're a parent? 375 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:44,680 I can't be a hypocrite, so I think...I'm never going to condone it. 376 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:50,440 I'm never going to buy my kids drugs, but I will hopefully educate them on it. 377 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:54,440 I think that's what's important, guidance, not just saying no, 378 00:27:54,440 --> 00:28:00,800 you can't do this, because that, on some ears, sounds like "you should do it". 379 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:06,240 Robert is also aware how controversial illegal drugs can be in society. 380 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,640 In an effort to limit the documentary's impact on his future, 381 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,600 he's decided not to use his real name. 382 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,520 I can't say I'm completely open. 383 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,080 I mean, naturally, because it is illegal, 384 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,400 I have to keep it sort of hidden from most of society. 385 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:28,280 People like my parents definitely would see it as a very dangerous drug 386 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:32,080 just because of the negative image it's got in the press. 387 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,080 I have heard a few horrific and catastrophic stories, 388 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:43,000 but there is always a risk when you're taking a drug like ecstasy or MDMA. 389 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,520 But you play a risk when you do anything fun. 390 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:53,040 It's 3am, and Robert's first line of MDMA is starting to wear off, 391 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,000 so he plugs up with his second hit. 392 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,520 Katie does the same. 393 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,400 Well, I'm currently up. 394 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:13,200 I am buzzing, I suppose. My eyes are sort of darting around the place. 395 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:18,520 I'm keeping...I've got a smile on my face I can't seem to wipe off. 396 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:28,480 I'm off my tits. I've only done two bombs so far, and I'm fucked. 397 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:34,640 I've still got a few more in a secret compartment, and I'll pull them out as and when. 398 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:40,240 As the ravers take more MDMA, the physical effects start to become more visible. 399 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:43,640 This is mainly down to the way MDMA triggers the release 400 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,760 of a chemical called noradrenaline all over the body. 401 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,520 Noradrenaline is something we're all familiar with, as it's the classic 402 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,520 fight/flight chemical. When people are frightened, noradrenaline is released. 403 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:59,120 It makes the pupils dilate, makes the heart go fast, makes you sweat a bit. 404 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:03,520 I've only done two bombs so far, and I'm fucked. 405 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,840 I'm not gonna lie, you can probably tell by my eyes. 406 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:13,320 Where nerve endings meet muscles in the eye, 407 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,880 noradrenaline triggers the muscle, making the pupil dilate. 408 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:22,720 Ravers are also notorious for clenching their jaw. 409 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:29,720 That's because noradrenaline excites the jaw muscles, resulting in the distinctive gurning action. 410 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:35,880 I've come out of a rave with a few bites on my tongue or a few teeth feeling a bit more sensitive. 411 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:40,440 Some dentists actually argue that one of the leading causes of loss 412 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,800 of teeth eventually is the fact that people are taking stimulant drugs 413 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,880 and also drinking fizzy drinks. 414 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:53,840 So all this stuff, when you're seeing someone on this, if you haven't done MD, it's definitely terrifying. 415 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,040 But for me when I see people doing it, 416 00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,080 I know that the messier they look, the better time that they're having. 417 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:06,640 Getting too hot is another possible physical effect of ecstasy. 418 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:11,440 In rare cases, this can lead to a condition called hyperthermia. 419 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:16,040 We know that if you get your body temperature over 100, 102, you get into problems. 420 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:20,720 People become delirious, and in fact you can also damage other organs. 421 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,800 The muscles can be damaged, the heart can be damaged, the liver can be damaged. 422 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,880 Hyperthermia starts in a part of the brain called the hypothalmus. 423 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,440 This acts as our thermostat. 424 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:35,440 It's the part of the brain that's in charge of regulating temperature 425 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,560 all over the body and telling us how hot or cold we are. 426 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,080 Experts think the big release of serotonin in this part of the brain 427 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,880 could be enough to stop the body's thermostat working properly. 428 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:51,720 And in hot clubs, the body temperature can rise rapidly. 429 00:31:53,640 --> 00:32:00,560 Without cooling the body, overheating can quickly set in in major organs like the liver. 430 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,440 When the body temperature tips over 40 degrees, 431 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:07,320 the proteins that make up our cells stop functioning properly. 432 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,840 They change their structure, a bit like when you heat milk. 433 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,720 When you heat milk, you get a skin on because the proteins in the milk lock together. 434 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:20,840 The proteins bind, causing the cells to stop working and the organ to shut down. 435 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:28,000 Every three months, Sarah Phillips and her fiance Pete come to Kings College Hospital in London 436 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,920 for a checkup at the liver unit. 437 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,680 It's been a regular appointment since Sarah was given an urgent 438 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:40,240 liver transplant as a result of her use of ecstasy nearly ten years ago. 439 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:46,880 Sarah's problems with ecstasy started when she took the drug on holiday in Ibiza. 440 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:52,920 She'd taken pills for the first time a few weeks earlier and was up for repeating the experience. 441 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,920 We met a group of lads and hit it off. 442 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,400 We got on the subject of talking about ecstasy, 443 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,400 and he said, "Have you ever done it before?", 444 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,040 and I said, "Yeah, I've done it once". 445 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,760 And he was like, "Do you wanna do half with me?" 446 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,400 I thought, "I can't see much damage, it's only half an ecstasy tablet", 447 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:15,280 so I took the small half and...yeah, I had no effect from it whatsoever. 448 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,840 The next day, I felt really ill. 449 00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,360 Had a really bad come-down, constant diarrhoea, sickness. 450 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:25,480 Sarah's illness continued for the rest of her holiday 451 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,720 and when she returned home, she was admitted to hospital. 452 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:34,920 After a couple of days of being in hospital, they said I'd done damage to my liver. 453 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,800 They said "Did you do drugs?" I said "No I didn't do drugs". 454 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:42,280 They said "Well, if you done drugs, we need to know, cos then we can get down to the bottom of this". 455 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,880 I said no. Unless your mum buggers off, you can't say nothing. 456 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,920 So yeah, I just denied doing any drugs. 457 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:51,160 I didn't think it'd be that half an ecstasy tablet that done the damage. 458 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:56,960 After two weeks in hospital, Sarah made a full recovery and returned to normal life. 459 00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,320 Convinced ecstasy had not been the cause of her illness, 460 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,640 she started clubbing again and took the drug several more times. 461 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:09,360 Gradually, Sarah's health started to deteriorate. 462 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:13,080 One night, she collapsed and was rushed back to casualty. 463 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:16,040 My mum then come to hospital and tried waking me up. 464 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:21,560 The doctors and nurses tried waking me up, and that's when they sedated me, before I slipped into a coma. 465 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,640 Sarah's liver was under attack. 466 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:32,200 The liver is where drugs are processed to remove toxic elements. 467 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:36,240 Enzymes normally break down ecstasy and send the toxic elements on to 468 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:39,040 the kidneys, where they leave the body through urine. 469 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:46,280 But some people can't break down ecstasy properly because they don't have enough of these enzymes, 470 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,920 so more of the toxic waste from the drug is left in the liver. 471 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,360 This waste can kill liver tissue, 472 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:58,960 and when more than 90% of it is destroyed, a transplant may be the only option. 473 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,720 I had a 50-50 chance of survival, 474 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:07,280 and then the following day it went down to a 5% chance of survival. 475 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,040 And they said to my mum and dad, 476 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:13,200 "I think you might need to sort the funeral arrangements out for your daughter. 477 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,960 "It's that bad, and we don't think we'll get a liver". 478 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:21,560 And I only had until the Friday to get a new liver, otherwise they'd turn my life support machine off. 479 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,600 Obviously, hope was going down the pan. 480 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,680 And then at three o'clock that morning, Mum got a phone call 481 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,320 saying "We've got a liver for your daughter". 482 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:36,200 After the transplant was over, there was a tense wait to see if Sarah's body would accept the new liver. 483 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:41,000 Several days after the operation, she regained consciousness. 484 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,520 It was horrible, because I couldn't talk to people and my mum shouted at me. 485 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,000 "You should have just told me the truth. 486 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,720 "You know I'm very anti-drugs, but you're my daughter. 487 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:55,600 "You're an idiot". Yeah, she told me off pretty much as soon as I woke up! 488 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:03,680 Sarah's liver transplant was successful, but it still has a huge impact on her life. 489 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:08,960 Last year she became pregnant, but gave birth prematurely and lost her baby. 490 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:13,240 Complications due to the liver transplant were thought to have played a part. 491 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:18,720 Despite this, Sarah and Pete still hope to have a baby in the future. 492 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:21,720 If and when Sarah and myself, you know, she does fall pregnant, 493 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,680 will I have to be looking out for any complications or what...? 494 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,760 Again, I don't think you should be looking out for anything, 495 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:31,080 but you would fit into what we call a high-risk pregnancy. 496 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:32,800 The biggest risk is prematurity, 497 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:37,160 but actually in general, we would aspire to making sure with our 498 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:41,920 obsterics colleagues that you actually have a normal pregnancy and you have a normal baby. 499 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,800 That's what we should aim for, that's one of the reasons to keep you alive and well. 500 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:50,280 I know so many people that do it every weekend, and they don't just do one or two, 501 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,440 they maybe do six or seven in one night, and I'd do a couple. 502 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:57,240 I've done less than ten in my life, 503 00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:02,080 and I had that big impact on my life which... 504 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,080 still, to this day, has a big impact on my life. 505 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:12,800 It's 5am, and Katie and her mates have left the club. 506 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,680 What a group of people. 507 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,520 We literally smashed it. 508 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:21,960 Complete strangers, united for a few hours on the dancefloor, going nuts. 509 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:26,000 The girls head to a friend's flat to wind down. 510 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:31,040 After a few hours, the effects of the MDMA start to wear off 511 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,920 and the loved-up high subsides. 512 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,880 The receptors in the brain become tired of the frenzy of activity 513 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,960 and are less stimulated by the serotonin. 514 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:46,160 Gradually, the feelgood chemical starts to break down and drifts away. 515 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,480 I'm absolutely off my pickle. 516 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,800 My eyes are going "rrrrr", up and down. 517 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,920 So my vision's not quite there yet. 518 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,360 And I can't remember what we were talking about again. 519 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:04,000 So out of half a gram, I've still got two pretty big ones left. 520 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,960 So what do you think, do you think you'll save those for anther time, then? 521 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,800 Probably not. We'll see what happens. 522 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:15,640 It all depends on what everyone else is doing, because I don't want to be on this mission for no reason. 523 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:20,240 Because you've got this connection, and it is a really fucking good cool connection when you're all 524 00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:25,720 on the same level and you don't really need to explain things to each other, everyone just knows. 525 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:29,080 It's like, "Yes. I know where you're coming from". 526 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,840 That's what I love. And I still can't remember what the question was. 527 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,880 In south London, the end of the night is in sight, 528 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:43,000 and Robert is considering whether to finish his MDMA stash. 529 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:47,920 The sun's up now, but we might still be here for 530 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:49,440 another hour or so, probably. 531 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,200 So I'm 532 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:56,160 going to take a little bit more, just to sort of keep me energised. 533 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,400 I feel fine now, but I know in about half an hour or so, 534 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,440 I'll start dragging myself about and then it will only go downhill. 535 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:14,680 Many ecstasy users try to keep up until morning by taking more of the drug. 536 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,920 But often, the loved-up feelings elude them. 537 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,360 That's because there's a limited supply of serotonin available, 538 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:28,120 and the massive release earlier has left the stores depleted. 539 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:33,480 I'll feel like my entire body is exhausted, 540 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:37,680 but my mind will still be racing a little bit. 541 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:42,560 The draining effects of the comedown don't just last for the day after use. 542 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:49,080 It can take up to a week for the brain to recover back to its normal concentrations of serotonin. 543 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:54,680 So some researchers actually think that these midweek blues are actually a combination of the fact that people 544 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:59,480 have stayed up all weekend and that their brain is trying to resynthesise serotonin. 545 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:04,040 The short-term depressive effects of ecstasy are well known. 546 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:08,240 But there are some who believe that, far from causing depression, 547 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:10,280 ecstasy can be used to treat it. 548 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:15,200 The roots of MDMA as a therapy drug go back to the late 1960s, 549 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:20,480 when psychedelic pharmacist Alexander Shulgin, since dubbed the Godfather of ecstasy, 550 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,560 synthesised the compound in his garden laboratory. 551 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,960 He was immediately impressed by its effects. 552 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,160 I saw that it was almost like an intoxicant. 553 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:35,240 I could see where I could have gotten into the knack of using it, 554 00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:38,240 except my search was not being pleasurably turned on, 555 00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:40,000 my search was finding new things. 556 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,080 Shulgin gave MDMA to psychologist friends, 557 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:50,240 and before long the drug was being widely used during therapy sessions. 558 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:54,240 This use for the drug went underground when it was banned. 559 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:58,240 Recently, though, a movement has been pushing to legalise MDMA 560 00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:02,600 in therapy for people with post-traumatic stress disorder. 561 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,600 The reason MDMA is such as effective drug 562 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:10,160 is because it reduces the fear response to emotional threats. 563 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,560 People who have post-traumatic stress disorder, 564 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,240 they have a trauma that they have been unable to get past. 565 00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:18,960 But with MDMA, in a very short amount of time, 566 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:26,440 it strengthens people's ability to accept and integrate emotional challenges. 567 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:33,440 This year, a major trial will begin testing MDMA in therapy with Iraq and Afghanistan military veterans 568 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,040 suffering post-traumatic stress disorder. 569 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:40,760 It comes on the back of recent successes treating PTSD patients 570 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,880 and those dealing with a terminal illness. 571 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:48,200 What we showed is that people who had post-traumatic stress disorder for an average of 19 years, 572 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:54,560 and had been resistant to treatment after a treatment process 573 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,360 of around three to three-and-a-half months of MDMA, 574 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:01,360 over 80% of them no longer have post-traumatic stress disorder. 575 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:06,080 I think we're about ten years away from MDMA as a prescription medicine. 576 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:13,720 Sue Stevens first came across MDMA when her husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. 577 00:42:13,720 --> 00:42:19,080 Shane definitely was, and is, the love of my life, yeah. 578 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:22,920 Soon after Shane's cancer diagnosis, 579 00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,600 tensions appeared in the relationship for the first time. 580 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,400 If he brought up "I gotta go to a doctor's appointment" 581 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:34,800 or "this is going on", I would tense up and I would think "Cancer, doctor's appointment, 582 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,000 "death", and my head would start spinning and I would start crying. 583 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:42,120 We had a total breakdown in communication. 584 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,240 Our house wasn't a happy place to be. 585 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:46,560 There was a lot of stress there. 586 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:51,800 A friend, who had heard of the use of MDMA for relationship therapy, 587 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:56,520 suggested the couple try the drug together to work through their problems. 588 00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:00,200 My reaction was "What? It's illegal drugs. We can't have this. 589 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:05,640 "That's the last thing we need right now, cops beating down the door", so that was my gut reaction. 590 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:10,360 We never would have thought that a street drug would be what we would need. 591 00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:17,040 Because ecstasy is illegal and not recognised as a therapy tool by mainstream doctors, 592 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,760 Sue and Shane sought advice from an underground therapist 593 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,280 who was on call the night they took the drug together for the first time. 594 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,560 We're sitting there, watching movies. 595 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,040 Pretty Woman was on, I do recall that. 596 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,240 And about a half hour into it, we're sitting there going, 597 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,480 "Wow, this is a crappy movie, what are we waiting for", 598 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,160 and all of a sudden - poof - it all came to life. 599 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:43,200 Like the drug kicked in, and he just looks at me and he's holding my hand and going "all right, let's talk. 600 00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,040 "I know what you wanna talk about. Come on, let's go. 601 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,120 "Let's get this out of the way, let's get the cancer out of the way. 602 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,240 "Let's become allies on it, let's talk". 603 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:56,920 When you take MDMA, things don't hurt you, the words don't hurt you. 604 00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:01,280 You can feel them, but the pain doesn't come along with it. 605 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,880 The words definitely make their impact. 606 00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:08,680 Had we not done that first session, we would not have been together at the time of his death. 607 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,880 Sue and Shane took MDMA together on three more occasions, 608 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,320 and found the experiences radically improved their ability 609 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,600 to discuss Shane's terminal illness between sessions. 610 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:25,840 Our final therapy session was 28 days before he died. 611 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,720 Why we taped it, I'm still not entirely sure. 612 00:44:28,720 --> 00:44:34,760 I kind of think I just taped it for me, even though I still have a really hard time watching it. 613 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:41,720 We were just doing MDMA to be close. 614 00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:46,160 To live all those years that were about to be taken away from us. 615 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:50,760 To have one more really strong bonding before he's gone. 616 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,880 There's a spot on here somewhere where he sits back 617 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:59,880 and says its really nice not to have cancer tonight, 618 00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:03,440 because in a sense that night was cancer-free. 619 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,000 I miss that. 620 00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,920 After Shane's death, Sue turned to MDMA again, 621 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:21,160 this time taking the drug with a trained therapist who helped her work through her grief. 622 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,480 For me, calling it a drug, 623 00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,640 it's more of a medication to me. 624 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,800 It saved my life. 625 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:35,680 I've watched it do that to many people. To me, it's medication. 626 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:46,800 MDMA therapy remains controversial though, given the problems reported by some recreational users. 627 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:52,520 Some experts have suggested a danger might be ecstasy's possible role as a gateway drug. 628 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,960 When we first started looking at MDMA, 629 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,920 many of the users were single users of the drug. 630 00:45:57,920 --> 00:45:59,440 They only took ecstasy. 631 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:03,680 In the past ten years, we've found far more users of the polydrug, 632 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,920 so they take ecstasy combined with other drugs. 633 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:11,400 Once you're an ecstasy user, the likelihood of using other illicit drugs is certainly increased. 634 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,520 Glenn Le Santo's son, Nimai, started out taking ecstasy and MDMA, 635 00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:24,000 but soon began using other drugs alongside it. 636 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:28,840 I think it you look at that picture, you can see there is some evidence 637 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:33,520 of where his life was going and where drugs were becoming involved. 638 00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,800 Nimai was a very bright young man. 639 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:40,680 It was obvious really from very early on, babyhood. 640 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:46,240 Interestingly, his first written words were disk, file and save. 641 00:46:46,240 --> 00:46:48,120 I kid you not, they really were. 642 00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,920 He had a thirst for knowledge, 643 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,760 if you like, he was drinking information all through his life. 644 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,400 Unfortunately that often leads to boredom, doesn't it? 645 00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:02,280 Because society doesn't seem to be geared up deal with that type of hyper-intellect. 646 00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:08,320 During secondary school, Nimai became disillusioned with formal education. 647 00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:12,320 He started to spend less time at school and more time DJ-ing. 648 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,760 Nimai's clubbing lifestyle introduced him to ecstasy, 649 00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:23,440 but before long, it started to have a negative impact on his life. 650 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:27,600 If you're living in a city like Brighton, you can go raving every single night. 651 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:30,160 You really can, you can go out and do it. 652 00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:36,480 Or, and I think this is probably what began to happen, you can stay in and do it. 653 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:41,720 We all know the difference even between drinking a bottle of wine out in a restaurant with some friends, 654 00:47:41,720 --> 00:47:45,680 while sinking a bottle of wine in a miserable evening in front of the television. 655 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:49,800 You are going to definitely get into this situation where you're 656 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:55,160 trying to fill in the troughs and how are you going to fill them in? You're going to take more drugs. 657 00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:02,160 Nimai was living away from home in Brighton and was using ecstasy with a range of other drugs, 658 00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,320 including ketamine and GHB. 659 00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:11,960 Glenn heard rumours his son was in trouble and persuaded him to come back and stay at the family home. 660 00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:16,400 The first night he was here, he vomited all over the room, 661 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:20,640 and I think that was the point when I realised that there was serious trouble here. 662 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:26,160 And I challenged him and he said "No, no, I'm not taking anything, honest, I'm not taking anything", 663 00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:27,600 and I knew he was lying. 664 00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:34,600 Things improved and Nimai got a job and made plans to enrol at the local university. 665 00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:38,680 But before long, signs of his old life started to creep in. 666 00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:43,840 He started to going to Brighton again, ostensibly on social trips 667 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,680 but I knew what was going on, 668 00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:49,920 and I knew what was going on because he was failing to go to work on the following Monday, 669 00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,120 so he obviously got battered on the weekend. 670 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,720 And he came here on the Friday before he died, 671 00:48:55,720 --> 00:49:00,600 and as he left to cycle down to the station I said, "be careful", 672 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,440 because I knew where he was going and what he was doing, 673 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:07,960 and I made a mental note to recapture him physically, 674 00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:13,880 quite literally when he came back, that's it. He's coming back here. 675 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,480 We're going to drag him out of his digs, 676 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:19,520 and he'll live here for a few more weeks before he starts his course. 677 00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:21,160 Of course, he never came back. 678 00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:29,760 Him and his friend were basically tooled up to party the whole weekend and he didn't go out, 679 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:36,920 they stayed in his friend's flat and they just took maximum amounts of drugs, they took everything. 680 00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:41,400 They took cocaine, amphetamines, 681 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:45,640 ketamine, liquid ecstasy, MDMA, 682 00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:50,080 G, and apparently, they also smoked heroin. 683 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:55,520 They'd been banging their way through their stash, Friday night, Saturday, 684 00:49:55,520 --> 00:50:00,840 Sunday morning, his friend had to go to work, so he left Nimai sleeping. 685 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,640 There's text messages on Nimai's phone from his friend saying, 686 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,480 "Don't take all the mandy, save some for me." 687 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:11,160 Nimai was probably already dead by the time his friend sent that. 688 00:50:15,240 --> 00:50:21,200 The toxicology blamed MDMA, but subsequently the inquest suggested 689 00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,480 it was just layer upon layer upon layer of abuse. 690 00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,760 I'm a realist, I know that he had a horrible death. 691 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,640 Death in this situation is drowning. 692 00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:37,760 Your central nervous system stops working, so your lungs stop moving, 693 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:41,200 when your lungs stop moving, they fill up with body fluid. 694 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:46,120 That means that your brain stays alive while you die. 695 00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,520 But your body can't do anything about it. 696 00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,080 And people out there who think, "I don't even care if it kills me 697 00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,560 "because I'll just fall asleep and I'll be high and it'll be great", 698 00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,280 it's bullshit. It's not going to be like that. 699 00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,000 It's going to be terrible. 700 00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:05,960 Here's a comment says, "You always smashed it at Vibe Alive, mate. 701 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:10,760 "Rest in peace." Meaning that when he was on the decks, he tore it up. 702 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:14,200 He was very, very good at it. 703 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:18,520 "I only met you a few times, man, but good times were had." 704 00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:23,280 "To the big club in the sky and to you, we all raise our glasses." 705 00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,960 I can't read any more, sorry. 706 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:33,560 People say time is a healer. 707 00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,200 It isn't. It really isn't. 708 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:39,920 All that you do is put on a slightly thicker skin to deal with the pain. 709 00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:43,960 He would've been dead two years in a couple of weeks time, 710 00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:49,040 it's as fresh and as raw as it was the day I got that phone call. 711 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,040 And in fact, sometimes it's worse. 712 00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:56,520 I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, I really wouldn't. 713 00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:06,640 # Statements, statement 714 00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:11,520 # Investigation department 715 00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,640 # Hey, hey. Hey, hey... # 716 00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,800 It's 8am, Sunday morning. 717 00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:30,960 Robert took his last MDMA of the night two hours ago. 718 00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:34,080 We've gone over the mountain and now we're on our descent. 719 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:39,160 So, yeah, I'm on my way down a bit, I'm not too far down but... 720 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:40,800 But spirits are high! 721 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,560 Spirits are always high. 722 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:44,680 Villagers are always rejoicing. 723 00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:49,560 This is the sign of a good night, when you leave the rave with a smile on your face, 724 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:53,360 despite the fact you're coming down and you're feeling like crap, 725 00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,480 you're still walking down the street 726 00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:59,080 happy as Larry with a bit fat grin on your face. 727 00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,600 They used to call me "Comedown Katie". 728 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:14,800 As soon as the sunlight started coming up, I'd be very paranoid about what a state I looked. 729 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,520 Usually disgusting. 730 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:22,760 Your stomach just feel hollow but you can't eat, you don't want to eat and you slowly start withering away. 731 00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:26,080 I'm a bit tired, but I'm not really. 732 00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,880 I'm definitely like, absolutely fine, 733 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,480 but I just can't wait to have a bit fat spliff 734 00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:36,040 and get all cuddly and wrapped in a duvet and watch some films. 735 00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,960 Yay, made it! 736 00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:47,360 # 15 miles down river that rain will clear... # 737 00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:48,960 Wow, that's amazing. 738 00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:55,240 Katie's first aid kit to help the comedown is a vitamin pill... 739 00:53:55,240 --> 00:53:57,320 and a joint. 740 00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,720 Erm, I just like to do it, after I've been out in the morning, 741 00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:02,960 when you get back and you're like, yes. 742 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:10,200 Now there's no more goal for the day really, other than to just relax. 743 00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:14,480 God I'm so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open. 744 00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,640 Many clubbers like to relax with a joint when they get home, 745 00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:25,320 but the chilled-out high can have side effects, like anxiety and paranoia. 746 00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,800 I think we had a good time, didn't we guys? 747 00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,040 Yeah. 748 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:37,960 I'm slowly starting to feel a little more groggy 749 00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,240 as the morning goes on. 750 00:54:40,240 --> 00:54:43,080 I'm going to end up sleeping the day away. 751 00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:47,320 It's a Halloween Sunday, I don't think anyone will expect too much of me today. 752 00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:55,280 I never thought I'd be a drug user, ever, when I was a kid, 753 00:54:55,280 --> 00:55:01,480 but with ecstasy, you feel like a much more talkative, friendly, 754 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,520 open, honest, empathetic you. 755 00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:09,400 I can't really tell right now if I'm going to be taking ecstasy for years. 756 00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,320 I don't think I'll be taking it when I'm 40 or 50. 757 00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,000 I think by then, I should've calmed down a bit, 758 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,360 but who knows? Who knows? 759 00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,680 Ah... 760 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:31,440 I absolutely loved and adored everyone that crossed my path 761 00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,480 and erm, wanted to be best friends with them for life. 762 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,840 I have no idea who any of them are, obviously. 763 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,760 Does it ever feel a bit surface? 764 00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,680 Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but who cares? 765 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:43,400 Obviously I'm not going to be best friends with them, I don't 766 00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:48,960 care, it's just in the moment, that just happens and you just enjoy it while you're there. 767 00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,280 And it works. 768 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:54,160 I just want to sleep and this will help me. 769 00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:01,120 Oh, god. That's not... Right. 770 00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:08,680 I wouldn't say that MDMA and other drugs are necessarily important in my life. 771 00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:13,280 That's not the only thing I'm into, I've done really well at school, I'm now at uni. 772 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:15,520 I've gone travelling on my own. 773 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,560 It's something that I do and I enjoy it. 774 00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,640 MUSIC: "I'd Do It All Again" by Corinne Bailey Rae 775 00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,160 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 776 00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,200 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk