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00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:05,260
There aren't many opportunities in
life when you can truly take a break

2
00:00:05,260 --> 00:00:09,460
but when those moments do crop up,
whether you're alone or with others,

3
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:13,940
there's one culinary companion
that usually puts in an appearance.

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00:00:14,820 --> 00:00:16,380
The biscuit.

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00:00:16,380 --> 00:00:20,220
Simple, small
and incredibly morish,

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there's something reliable
about a biscuit.

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You see, they're always there.

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Unless, of course,
you eat the entire packet.

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00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:33,740
This is my story
of the British biscuit.

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I'll be exploring
its earliest origins.

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This is the Victory.

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00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:43,780
Meeting biscuit aficionados.

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So this is the bit when I start to
look a bit like a crazy biscuit guy.

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And putting biscuits under
considerable scientific pressure.

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That is a dunking disaster.

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This is a journey
charting the origins

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00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:58,580
of a long and faded trail
of biscuit crumbs.

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After all, I'm not alone in my
passion for this simple baked item.

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There are 71 million packets of
digestive biscuits sold every year.

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That's 52 biscuits eaten
every second.

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That means 184,000
digestive biscuits will be eaten

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00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:25,100
by the end of this programme.

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Biscuits pop up everywhere
in our day to day lives.

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They're not as brash
or as demanding as sweets.

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Instead, they work their magic
by stealth.

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Please tell me
you've got some biscuits. Yep.

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They sidle up alongside you
when you least expect it.

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One of those. There you are, sir.
Thank you very much.

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Thank you.
Have a good day.

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I love a biscuit.
I can't imagine life without them.

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They're a treat,
they're a little bit of sustenance,

32
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but more than that
they signify a break in my day.

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It might be a working day, I might
be doing something in the garden,

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I might be at my desk or I might be
on a train going somewhere.

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It's just a moment to stop
and take stock.

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I have my favourites - always have
done ever since I was a kid.

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Sometimes they're for sharing

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and other times
they're all just for yourself.

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I love the way they break
and they crumble

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and the crumbs stick
to your fingers.

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But I've often wondered who decided

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that this would be the perfect stop
in the day?

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The first trail of broken biscuits
are taking me out to sea

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or rather to the dry docks
of Portsmouth.

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A major part
of the modern biscuit's genetic past

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has a distinctly nautical flavour.

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I've got the Marine Dictionary here
and I've found biscuit.

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"A sea biscuit is a sort of bread
much dried to make it keep

49
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"for the use of the navy
and is good for a whole year."

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And a biscuit to me is about fun,
it's a joy to eat,

51
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:13,580
but here it's had
a much more significant role -

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it was absolutely crucial
to the crew's life.

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00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,900
In the late 18th century
Admiral Nelson was just one

54
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of the many naval officers for whom
the biscuit was a secret weapon

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in his control of the high seas.

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Nigel, good to meet you.
Welcome to Victory.

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It's an awesome, awesome place
to be.

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This is where Nelson commanded
Victory and the fleet from
at the Battle of Trafalgar.

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That is his little plaque, isn't it?

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And that is the spot
where Nelson fell, yes.

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I know a little bit of the story
and quite a bit of the history of it

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but I'm here for something
that might seem insignificant,

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but it's not to me.

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You've got biscuits on board,
haven't you? We've got lots
of biscuits on board, yes.

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As far back as Ancient Egypt,

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00:03:56,980 --> 00:04:01,020
sailors have survived
on very basic, hard-baked items.

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The word biscuit derives
from two Latin words -

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00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:08,700
bis, meaning twice
and coquere, which means to cook.

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00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:12,860
Over the years the word has evolved
from bisquite through to biscuit,

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00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:15,260
in other words, meaning twice baked.

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The smell of this place is
extraordinary.

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How many people would be down here?

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In terms of meal times,
you'd be over 600 people,

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so it's very, very cramped.

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Life is hard at the time,

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so for the men on board,
you have a roof over your head,

77
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you've got a very good diet
by the standards of the day

78
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:32,620
and it's not all rum, sodomy
and the lash.

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Well, I'm happy to hear that.

80
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And these are our ship's biscuits.

81
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We carry about 700,000
when we first put to sea.

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18-21 men would each be getting
a pound,

83
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:48,220
so about five of those
a day every day.

84
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:50,940
35,000 calories a week
these chaps get.

85
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,940
About 14,000 of those calories
come from those biscuits.

86
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,980
So isn't it also referred to
as hard tack?

87
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Absolutely.
Hard tack is ship's biscuits.

88
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They are hard. They are hard.
HAMMERING

89
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So you have a couple of options for
eating something like this. Yeah.

90
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:06,380
First thing you can do -
it's the original dunker.

91
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You can dunk it in your drink,
you can dunk it in the stew you have.

92
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Or you can wrap it
in a piece of cloth

93
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,980
and basically bash it with something
heavy, probably a cannonball,

94
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:18,020
and the bit that will be eaten last
is the stamped area,

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because that's the most compressed,
that's the hardest.

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00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,540
What's that about? It's
the crow's foot or the broad arrow

97
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,780
and it basically denotes
that it's government property.

98
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That mark of sort of ownership
and authenticity, I suppose,

99
00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:36,180
I mean, to this day that appears
on almost every biscuit we know,

100
00:05:36,180 --> 00:05:40,300
so really this mark is
actually, I suppose,
the very beginning of a trademark.

101
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This really is the first example
of mass-produced biscuits, isn't it?

102
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Absolutely.

103
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Is it really an urban myth
that dunking started

104
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in order to get rid
of the weevils in your biscuit?

105
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:56,380
Weevils are very, very small.
You'd never see them. They're tiny.

106
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What they're seeing is something
the seamen would call bargemen,

107
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because this is a bread barge
in which the biscuits are kept

108
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:05,900
and it's the larva
of probably the cadelle beetle,

109
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something which is three quarters
of an inch long... Ugh!
..a nice, big, black head.

110
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So they flick those off
and pull those out? Well, it depends
how squeamish you are.

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You pull them out,
you flick them off,
you bang the biscuit on the table.

112
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We could be here all day.
it's just not going to happen is it?

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Let's see if this works.

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Mind the table.
So we've got a 32-pound cannonball.

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This is the Victory!

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Oh, heavens!
You haven't even made a dent in it.

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ANDREW LAUGHS

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Well, let's see if this works.

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I think we might be able
to break that.

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Ah! You know, this is a bit like
the first scone I ever baked.

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My dad threw it out on the lawn
for the birds

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and it was there six months later.

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Yes, we're in.

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Mm, you would be seriously full
after one of these.

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I think it's going to sit
on the stomach like a cannonball.

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With the birth of the ship's biscuit
fresh in my mind,

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I'm left wondering about
the first biscuit I ever tasted.

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I think that my first biscuit
wasn't far away

129
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from the first biscuit of all,
the rusk.

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And you're supposed
to dip them into milk,

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just like the ship's biscuit -
it's exactly the same thing - but...

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being a little contrary from
an early age, I ate my rusks dry.

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I'd break them up.
I'd always...

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Oh! Always sniff them.

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There's a milkiness there,
a little sweetness.

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It's sort of like breast milk
in biscuit form.

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My most abiding memories of biscuits
are also tied up with travel.

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OK, perhaps not as long distance
as Nelson

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but certainly long distance enough

140
00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:20,260
for a very hungry schoolboy
boarding the school bus.

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00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:23,820
All the noisy boys sat at the back,
because we had transistor radios.

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I used to get really cross
if someone got there before me.

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But I was always the first to get on
at school,

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because I lived farthest away,
so I always got the corner seat.

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There wasn't much shouting,
there wasn't much playing around

146
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but there was lots of rustling,
lots of wrappers being opened,

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lots of little tuck boxes
with the lids coming of.

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And when we got off the school bus,
we'd be covered in crumbs,

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mostly mine.

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00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:58,180
I'm picking up a chap who is
a self-confessed biscuit expert.

151
00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:04,180
Stuart Payne, also known as Nicey,
has written the only user's guide
to the modern biscuit.

152
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Hello. Hello, Nigel. How are you?
Come and sit down.

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There's quite possibly nothing that
this man doesn't know about biccies.

154
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You're my biscuit anorak,
aren't you? I am that man.

155
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I guess I do like them a lot.
It's this curious thing

156
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that people measure their lives
in different ways.

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I mean, for some people it's
the music they were listening to

158
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but sometimes it's what you ate.

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I can remember, for instance,
vividly where I was standing

160
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and who I was with
when I learnt of the existence
of the chocolate HobNob.

161
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I can... I'm with you.

162
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I mean, my life is
a trail of crumbs.

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I can measure my life
by what I was eating

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and very often it's a biscuit.

165
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We have a connection with
these things, little baked items.

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It's always, "Oh, yeah, these
used to be in our picnic basket
whenever we went off for a picnic,"

167
00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:07,380
and it's all those associations

168
00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:10,020
and probably more with biccies
than anything else.

169
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:14,020
As we head down memory lane,

170
00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:17,940
our first nostalgic stop is
once again with what I call

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00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:19,220
the biscuits of sustenance,

172
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:23,540
the rather harsh, bland biscuits
of the adult world.

173
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,460
Ah-ha! Ah! Ah!

174
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:33,020
Well, what we've got here is
all the kind of plain,
archetypal biscuits.

175
00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:35,820
In fact, these were
the sort of biscuits

176
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that actually my mum
would have loved. Yeah.

177
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,100
You know when your mum said,
"Do you want a biscuit?"

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00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,980
and you got terribly excited
and you ended up with a Rich Tea?

179
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:45,540
Exactly. Look at that -
thin arrowroot.

180
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:48,740
Oh! I haven't seen a thin arrowroot
for years! Look at the writing.

181
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:51,500
The exciting thing about
a thin arrowroot is...

182
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:54,460
It's this font. It's almost like
it's been laser etched on.

183
00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:57,780
Like you say, Nigel,
all these biscuits,
they're plain, round dunkers.

184
00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,380
As I kid, I... There we go.

185
00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:02,900
I have not seen one of those
for years - a Rich Tea finger.

186
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:05,500
I didn't even know they made them.

187
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,380
Morning Coffee.

188
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:10,260
This is the village hall biscuit.

189
00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:14,340
This is the biscuit that when we go
to a jumble or something like that

190
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,020
and they bring out
a plate of biscuits,

191
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,980
it would be the Morning Coffee.

192
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:21,500
It does look boring
but I love what's going on

193
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:24,460
with all the detail
and the coffee pot.
And the coffee pot.

194
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,820
Now, you see, that...
Ah! There we go.

195
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,740
What are you going to call that?
Yes, well...

196
00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:30,780
Because I know what I call it,
I call it a "niece".

197
00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:33,220
Really? Well, I would call it
a "nice".

198
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:36,100
Why? I think our family were just
trying to be posher than they were

199
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,380
and we'd heard of Nice.

200
00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:40,340
Well, exactly, so Nice -
place in France.

201
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:44,100
You go down there with one of these,
they won't know what you've got. No.

202
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:49,300
The Rich Tea is one
that's particularly prone
to self-destruction,

203
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:52,100
something that happens
when they bake them -

204
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,540
if they don't cool them down right,

205
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:56,380
they have a tension in the biscuit
that's baked into them

206
00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:58,540
and they can spontaneously crack.

207
00:12:01,060 --> 00:12:03,700
There's something
that we've only discovered recently

208
00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:05,540
using the same technique

209
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:08,580
that they used for studying the
materials in fighter plane wings,

210
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,860
that you can shine laser beams off
and can tell that.

211
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:14,100
But when it comes down to it,
you have to watch out -
they could go at any minute.

212
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:17,580
It's difficult not to judge people
on their biscuit selection

213
00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:18,940
but I always do.

214
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:21,140
I was always asking myself,
why are they eating them?

215
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,940
Is it because they have to?

216
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:25,300
Is there some special reason,
you know,

217
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,900
a medical reason or what have you,

218
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:29,540
they can't have anything too exciting
or stimulating?

219
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,500
They can't have anything
too stimulating.

220
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,380
There's a lot of bells and whistles
going on in the biscuit world

221
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:36,820
and you wonder sometimes
whether there is any future

222
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:39,860
for things like all these
lovely little plain digestives

223
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,860
and yet they're still there.

224
00:12:43,380 --> 00:12:47,620
Ah, yes!
Now we're onto the serious stuff.

225
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:52,780
The boss of all the round and brown
biscuits is the digestive.

226
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:55,820
You always need to give your biscuit,
especially a digestive,

227
00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:59,300
a tap on the side of your biscuit tin
to check for structural integrity.

228
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,980
It's quite a frugal smell. There's
nothing extravagant about it.

229
00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:04,780
It's not creamy, it's not too sweet.

230
00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,420
This smells like
my guinea pig's cage.

231
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:09,140
Yep, that's a common thing
with biscuits,

232
00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:14,180
that kind of pet shop...
Yeah. Ambience.
I've often said that. Hamsters.

233
00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:16,420
Wine tasters will talk of gun flint

234
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:20,060
and pet shop is a sort of phrase
that you would use in biscuit tasting

235
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:24,940
to be evocative of that kind
of strange, damp, wheaty smell.

236
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:28,420
When I used to go and buy straw,
this is what this smells like.

237
00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:31,220
I've met people
who smell of digestive biscuits,
you know what I mean?

238
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:33,100
Yes, I do know what you mean.

239
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,300
When I was a kid
and the biscuit tin came out,

240
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:45,460
I dreaded getting
to the bottom of it,

241
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:48,900
knowing what would be left
were the plain biscuits,

242
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:51,580
the ones that your auntie ate,

243
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:55,820
the ones that had no cream, no
chocolate, no fondant icing, no fun.

244
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:57,620
Sometimes they had sugar on top,

245
00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,580
sometimes they had little bobbles
like a bath mat,

246
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,380
but they were so boring.

247
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:04,100
They were what I call
prison biscuits.

248
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:06,820
And then I think there comes
a point, a sort of coming of age,

249
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:09,420
when you sort of understand
the plain biscuit.

250
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:13,780
It has its own charm, it's just
something that comes with age,

251
00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:18,740
the idea that you can eat something
as a treat that isn't ostentatious.

252
00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:21,780
It probably means
I'm getting on a bit.

253
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:25,580
There's no frills
to any of these biscuits,

254
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:28,300
which is why my auntie
always gave them frills.

255
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,660
She would always bring them out
on a plate with a doyley.

256
00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:33,780
I suppose she felt
she had to dress them up.

257
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:42,300
So we know the earliest biscuit
eaters were burly seamen

258
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:46,300
eating biscuits that were all about
sustenance rather than indulgence.

259
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,860
But how did things develop
from the backbreaking work

260
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:53,020
of men making hundreds of thousands
of ship's biscuits

261
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:55,340
into the sweeter biscuits
that we all know and love today?

262
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:01,460
I'm in Cumbria to meet
biscuit historian Ivan Day.

263
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:06,100
So in what way does things
like the ship's biscuits,

264
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,020
how are they a sort of precursor to
the modern biscuit?

265
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:13,340
Small biscuit bakers in towns
all over Britain existed

266
00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:16,820
but the other side of it,
not just bakers but confectioners,

267
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:18,860
they also made biscuit

268
00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:21,580
and these were
the upmarket luxury ones

269
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:26,820
that were aimed really
at the aristocracy,
the nobility and the gentry.

270
00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:33,300
The biscuits that we've been looking
at are very austere.

271
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,540
They're more about sustenance,
really.

272
00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:41,220
But these look very different.
These look so elegant.

273
00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:44,100
Well, yes, elegant's the right word

274
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,460
because these are biscuits
from the 18th century,

275
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:49,940
which is the period
of Josiah Wedgwood and Chippendale.

276
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:55,140
Sugar was very much
the expensive preserve of the rich.

277
00:15:55,140 --> 00:16:00,060
Sweet confectionery and elaborate,
fancified biscuits emerged

278
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,780
out of the recipe books and
the kitchens of the rich and famous.

279
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,460
Dining was a kind of table theatre

280
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:10,500
and this is just one
of the performers, really,

281
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:15,500
in what is an incredibly structured
ending to the meal.

282
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,340
It's the finale of the meal.

283
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,780
I can see in a way

284
00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:22,660
that some of these
were the precursors
of modern commercial biscuits.

285
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:28,340
I mean, I'm seeing a Jammie Dodger
here, possibly a Garibaldi... Yeah.

286
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:30,940
These are like little fig rolls
without the figs

287
00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:35,060
and this lumpiness,
the way we like a very textured,
oaty biscuit nowadays.

288
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:40,340
This is almost like an early
family assorted biscuit tin.

289
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,380
Yeah, that's what I say -
a Georgian assortment.

290
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,220
A Georgian assortment.

291
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,340
What were the working classes
eating?

292
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,540
Certainly not fancy biscuits
like this.

293
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:54,420
The working classes might be
having things
like tops and bottoms and rusks,

294
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:57,060
which they could buy from ordinary
bakers. Tops and bottoms?

295
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,620
It just has flour in it,
no sugar.

296
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:02,900
Parliaments was another thing,
which was a gingerbread.

297
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:06,060
But these are things you would find
in, you know,

298
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:08,380
the Duke of Wellington's dining room.

299
00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:13,180
Once sugar reached a broader public
it was only a matter of time

300
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:17,700
before a handful of artisan bakers
and biscuit makers found ways

301
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:20,380
to combine the industrial scale
of the ship's biscuit

302
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:25,300
with the fancier, sweeter tastes
of the Georgian toffs.

303
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:30,460
Using the tools of the period
and some excess pastry,

304
00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:36,580
Ivan is keen to showcase the joys
of Georgian and Regency biscuit
printing techniques,

305
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:39,260
a world of great craftsmanship.

306
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:45,340
The artisan biscuit maker in the past
was really serviced

307
00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:47,820
by an extraordinary skill base
of people -

308
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,900
woodcarvers and metalworkers,

309
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,860
who provided them with these tools.

310
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:58,380
This is the... The William one?
Yeah, Sailor Bill, as he was called.

311
00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:04,500
Finish them off. The ones you'd do
is the round one, actually.

312
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,300
The Royal Volunteer biscuit.

313
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:09,940
Is that a biscuit of beauty?

314
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:16,340
Ah, look at that. Beautiful!

315
00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:18,460
Like prehistoric fossils,

316
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:21,620
it really doesn't require
a huge amount of imagination

317
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:23,460
to see in these elaborate prints

318
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:26,980
the future designs and patterns
of everyday biscuits,

319
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,580
such as malted milks
and custard creams.

320
00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:34,060
But the biscuits
of our wealthy ancestors weren't
just about physical appearance.

321
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:38,420
The entire process was
an altogether sensory one, too.

322
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:41,500
Imagine a little walnut biscuit
baked from this mould,

323
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,980
a little, crisp shell
put against another one

324
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:49,660
and then you break them and inside
you've got a little biscuit walnut.

325
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:54,020
I can't imagine anything
more endearing, more charming,

326
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:57,260
that you could put on a plate
with a cup of tea.

327
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,540
ARCHIVE: Now we come
to that great hive of industry

328
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:05,540
on the banks
of Father Thames at Reading,

329
00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:07,820
the huge factory
of Huntley and Palmers.

330
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,260
From as early as 1830,

331
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:15,940
a number of artisan biscuit makers
riding the crest
of the industrial revolution

332
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:18,180
took the inevitable next step

333
00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,620
towards the mass manufacture
of sweet biscuits

334
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:22,580
for a much broader public.

335
00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:26,220
It was a chance encounter
between George Palmer,

336
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:28,780
who ran an artisan biscuit shop
in Reading,

337
00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:33,340
and Thomas Huntley,
who had developed the machinery
to modernise biscuit production,

338
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,860
that gave birth to the company.

339
00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:38,700
Very soon, our shapeless mess
of dough emerges from rollers

340
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,060
in the form of a rich carpet.

341
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,860
Once again through rollers

342
00:19:41,860 --> 00:19:44,660
and it slides forward towards the
machine that will shape its future.

343
00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:47,620
Within a very short amount of time,

344
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,500
Huntley and Palmers' biscuits
were being bought and sold

345
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:53,340
as far away as India and China.

346
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:55,500
By the late 19th century,

347
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:59,500
they'd become the biggest
biscuit manufacturer in the world.

348
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,460
It's the inside man's job to pack
the biscuits neatly in the tank.

349
00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:05,460
Those on the outside can't see
what's going on inside,

350
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:09,620
hence the job usually goes to
a thin boy who doesn't like biscuits.

351
00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:12,820
Since industrial biscuit making
began,

352
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,460
whether the manufacturers
were making Garibaldis, bourbons

353
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:19,940
or digestives, firms have always
guarded their recipes.

354
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:23,780
At Reading University,
I'm meeting an archivist

355
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:26,780
to view a very rare artefact.

356
00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:28,940
This in fact is
one of the recipe books.

357
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,660
Oh! What?

358
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:34,260
So we can actually see
what was going into the biscuits.

359
00:20:34,260 --> 00:20:38,060
Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness!

360
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:40,060
Can I touch it?
Yeah, of course.

361
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:43,100
New milk and butter milk,
sugar number one,

362
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,540
butter and flour, lunch flour.

363
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:48,380
Now the Marie,
now this is the Marie biscuit.

364
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:52,380
The Marie biscuit is flour, butter,
sugar, condensed milk.

365
00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:54,780
They're almost
slightly experimental,

366
00:20:54,780 --> 00:20:56,580
the fact that they're not
cast in stone,

367
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:58,500
they're sort of changing them.

368
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:03,180
The thin arrowroot. So this is
the recipe of the thin arrowroot,

369
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:06,660
the biscuit that my mum loved
almost beyond all others -

370
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,500
delicate biscuits.

371
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:13,860
So a little bit of time, just me
and the original recipe book -

372
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:16,500
well, under the beady eye
of Alfred Palmer.

373
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,700
But this is the little book. This is
where they're all written down

374
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:22,500
in beautiful copperplate

375
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,740
and to think that this is where
it all began -

376
00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:27,780
the arrowroot, the Marie,
the Garibaldi
with its little currants,

377
00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:29,660
and biscuits I've never heard of,

378
00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:31,700
biscuits I can sort of
only dream about.

379
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:33,660
I wish I could taste
some of these biscuits.

380
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:36,540
Biscuits that are just lost,
gone forever.

381
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:41,980
And it's not just the biscuits
that have been lost.

382
00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:45,100
All of the major manufacturers
quite quickly established

383
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:50,340
that most ubiquitous of containers,
the biscuit tin,
as a household necessity.

384
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:54,780
All is not right
in the world of the biscuit tin.

385
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,700
It's not tin any more.

386
00:21:56,700 --> 00:22:00,900
You don't get that wonderful
little tinny drumming sound
with your fingernails.

387
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:03,300
There aren't the remains
of Sellotape round the edge -

388
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:07,500
slowly you peel them off
as the tin gets older.

389
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,940
I was always
secretly trying to get the top off

390
00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:11,740
without anybody hearing
in the next room

391
00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:14,140
and then the joy
of the second layer,

392
00:22:14,140 --> 00:22:20,860
of going down and finding
that there's more treasure
to be had underneath.

393
00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:23,140
If you were really clever
you could pinch one.

394
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:27,020
You wouldn't want it in the garage
with nuts and bolts
and screwdrivers in.

395
00:22:27,020 --> 00:22:29,020
You wouldn't even keep
the dog's lead in it

396
00:22:29,020 --> 00:22:32,580
and those keys that you don't
know what they're for
but you don't want to throw away.

397
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:35,140
That's what biscuit tins are for
after the biscuits.

398
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:45,300
Originally designed for transporting
biscuits safely to distant customers

399
00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:48,580
and for shopkeepers to refill
with loose biscuits,

400
00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:52,260
over time the biscuit tin was
transformed

401
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:56,300
from an object of utility
into something much more creative.

402
00:22:56,660 --> 00:23:01,540
Very few of the Huntley and Palmer
biscuits themselves remain

403
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:04,020
because they were delicious,
they've all been eaten.

404
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:09,140
But the tins themselves do remain
and they were a permanent gift.

405
00:23:09,140 --> 00:23:11,940
It really was used
as a marketing technique

406
00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:15,460
and they would often create tins
that would appeal to young children.

407
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:19,700
Imagine getting that
in your Christmas stocking
and putting that on the table.

408
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:23,500
That's a tin
from Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee

409
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:26,140
and she was known to take
Osborne biscuits.

410
00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:28,820
Of course, she would enjoy
an Osborne

411
00:23:28,820 --> 00:23:32,380
and I can't imagine her tucking into
a Jammie Dodger or a custard cream.

412
00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:36,540
Here at the Reading Museum,
there's one tin from the 1980s

413
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:40,220
that took the notion of creativity
to an entirely different level.

414
00:23:41,060 --> 00:23:46,220
What's going on there behind
that little wall by the tree
on the right hand side?

415
00:23:46,220 --> 00:23:49,540
Well, this tin had to be taken out
of circulation

416
00:23:49,540 --> 00:23:53,060
when Associated Biscuits,
who owned the company, realised

417
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:58,260
that a couple of things had
been introduced into the design
that were quite shocking.

418
00:23:58,260 --> 00:24:01,540
On the table you can see a jam jar,

419
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:03,780
It hasn't got the word jam written
on it.

420
00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:07,700
The designer's written the word
"shit" on there. Oh, bless!

421
00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:14,140
And over in the corner there,
there's two dogs procreating.

422
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:17,700
Oh, how fantastic.
Shit and shagging dogs, I love it.

423
00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:22,660
And in the far distance,
we have two young lovers
doing the same thing.

424
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:25,220
I mean, Auntie handing them
to the shocked vicar.

425
00:24:25,220 --> 00:24:27,940
"Do have some biscuits
with your tea."

426
00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:29,780
I mean you would,
wouldn't you, if you could?

427
00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:31,740
I mean, you would.

428
00:24:33,620 --> 00:24:38,820
Did you ever see such nimble
fingers? She needs them too,
to cope with a rush like this.

429
00:24:38,820 --> 00:24:41,300
The general expansion
of the biscuit industry in Britain

430
00:24:41,300 --> 00:24:45,300
was inextricably entwined
with the growth of rail travel.

431
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:50,300
Other companies, such as Peek Freans
in South London
and Carr's of Carlisle,

432
00:24:50,300 --> 00:24:51,780
all became market leaders

433
00:24:51,780 --> 00:24:55,700
due to their close proximity
to the railway lines,

434
00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:59,580
a fast and efficient way of getting
salesmen around the country.

435
00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:03,300
So the representative would carry
that around with him,

436
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:05,900
lots of little tins of biscuits,
all hinged.

437
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:07,700
It's a doctor's case for biscuits.

438
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,180
Imagine carrying that!

439
00:25:09,180 --> 00:25:10,860
You are this guy
who's walking around

440
00:25:10,860 --> 00:25:13,500
and it's not cleaning things,
it's biscuits.

441
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:17,020
People would welcome you,
wouldn't they?

442
00:25:17,020 --> 00:25:19,940
Brendan has a few final treats
to show me,

443
00:25:19,940 --> 00:25:22,860
hidden deep
within Reading Museum's vaults.

444
00:25:22,860 --> 00:25:26,620
Those are the tins.
That's how my biscuit life started.

445
00:25:26,620 --> 00:25:29,900
Percy Salt the grocer
in Wolverhampton used to have those

446
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:32,580
and at the bottom
there used to be broken ones.

447
00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:36,180
The factory workers would get
a pound of broken biscuits
on a Friday.

448
00:25:36,180 --> 00:25:38,620
The cry would go out,
"Where's my broken?"

449
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:44,140
Biscuits became such a part
of British culinary life

450
00:25:44,140 --> 00:25:47,660
that the factory had
its own celebrity visitors.

451
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:52,740
Oh, there! There he is, there.
There he is.

452
00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:54,700
"Oscar Wilde, poet."

453
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:57,260
But it's interesting,
because someone has come along

454
00:25:57,260 --> 00:26:00,580
and introduced these three question
marks in rather blunt handwriting.

455
00:26:00,580 --> 00:26:02,820
I wonder when that was done.

456
00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:06,180
And even letters of complaint
reached the factory

457
00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:08,500
from as far afield
as the South Pole.

458
00:26:09,460 --> 00:26:13,380
Scott of the Antarctic.
Captain Scott.

459
00:26:13,380 --> 00:26:17,660
"We find on opening on the tins of
Antarctic emergency biscuits

460
00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:21,500
"that the biscuits are considerably
cracked and broken

461
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:26,300
"but I think also
that some change has taken place
which makes them more brittle.

462
00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:29,500
"The breaking of the biscuit is
not really a serious drawback

463
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:32,260
"but the point
might have your attention

464
00:26:32,260 --> 00:26:35,140
"in case it's possible
to avoid it."

465
00:26:35,140 --> 00:26:37,380
I think he was lucky
to get his biscuits, frankly.

466
00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:43,860
And during the Great War
they functioned
as emotional keepsakes.

467
00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:46,460
It's a First World War army biscuit

468
00:26:46,460 --> 00:26:49,860
and it's one of those that has been
fashioned into a picture frame

469
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:54,460
containing a soldier's portrait
that was sent home to his mother.

470
00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:56,300
Oh!

471
00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:58,020
Very, very special. Yeah.

472
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:17,020
Whilst Scott and his men's lives
depended on Huntley and Palmers'
supplies,

473
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:21,740
in no small way my early childhood
utterly depended on a survival pack

474
00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:24,580
that was of equal importance to me.

475
00:27:24,580 --> 00:27:27,340
One of the best bits of my childhood

476
00:27:27,340 --> 00:27:31,580
was not my Christmas stocking
or my birthday presents,

477
00:27:31,580 --> 00:27:33,420
it was the lunchbox,

478
00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:37,500
that little box that I would take on
trips, picnics, on the school bus

479
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:42,660
and I'd take the lid off
and I never knew quite
what was going to be inside it.

480
00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:44,820
There'd be jam sandwiches,
a banana...

481
00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:47,460
I don't like the smell of bananas
in lunchboxes.

482
00:27:47,460 --> 00:27:49,860
But there'd always be a biscuit.

483
00:27:49,860 --> 00:27:52,060
In fact, there'd always be
more than one biscuit.

484
00:27:52,060 --> 00:27:54,460
They were the biscuits
of my childhood.

485
00:27:54,460 --> 00:27:57,460
And as much as I envied
the adult biscuits,

486
00:27:57,460 --> 00:27:59,380
there were ones
that I felt were mine,

487
00:27:59,380 --> 00:28:01,220
biscuits I could really have fun
with,

488
00:28:01,220 --> 00:28:06,100
like chocolate Bourbon biscuits,
custard creams, Penguins -

489
00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:09,140
something that was more
than just a biscuit.

490
00:28:09,140 --> 00:28:11,100
It had layers.

491
00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:14,260
And it was that moment of hope
as you peel off the lid

492
00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:16,660
and you think, "What's going to be
in it today?"

493
00:28:16,660 --> 00:28:18,140
"What is that extra treat?"

494
00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:20,740
Sometimes it'd be
a little handful of iced gems,

495
00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:24,140
the ones you bite the icing off
and then you're left with
a boring, little biscuit.

496
00:28:24,140 --> 00:28:27,220
Sometimes it'd be a salty
Ritz cracker - I'd never know.

497
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:30,700
And that was part of the fun,
part of the joy
of my childhood lunchboxes.

498
00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:34,900
I never quite knew
what was going to be in there.

499
00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:36,380
But I had hopes.

500
00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:49,060
Like greedy time travellers,

501
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:53,420
Nicey and I are moving on
to those biscuits we indulged in
as young boys.

502
00:28:55,260 --> 00:28:58,020
See, this is how you can make
your biscuits more exciting.

503
00:28:58,020 --> 00:29:00,420
They've got a malted milk
and a sports biscuit. Oh, yeah.

504
00:29:00,420 --> 00:29:04,940
So what we're doing now is
we're embossing it
with exciting figures of cows

505
00:29:04,940 --> 00:29:08,100
and as a child my approach to that,
immediately, without hesitation,

506
00:29:08,100 --> 00:29:10,700
would be to nibble the cow out.
NIGEL LAUGHS

507
00:29:10,700 --> 00:29:12,860
I remember thinking as a child,

508
00:29:12,860 --> 00:29:15,980
wouldn't it be brilliant if you could
get a reverse malted milk

509
00:29:15,980 --> 00:29:18,820
that was like a mirror image,
nibble both cows out,

510
00:29:18,820 --> 00:29:22,900
stick them back to back -
you'd have an entire 3D biscuity cow.

511
00:29:22,900 --> 00:29:24,900
Starting to worry me a little.

512
00:29:25,940 --> 00:29:27,780
MOOING

513
00:29:27,780 --> 00:29:29,820
After a while,
the biscuit guys decided

514
00:29:29,820 --> 00:29:31,700
that what you can do is
get two biscuits,

515
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:34,260
put them back to back
and put something up the middle

516
00:29:34,260 --> 00:29:38,180
and here is the archetypal sandwich
biscuit, which is the custard cream.

517
00:29:38,180 --> 00:29:40,700
One of the world's great ideas.

518
00:29:40,700 --> 00:29:43,420
And the fabulous thing about it is
you've got custard

519
00:29:43,420 --> 00:29:47,220
and so to have a biscuit
that should be filled with custard...

520
00:29:47,220 --> 00:29:49,500
It isn't. That's something that I...

521
00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:52,940
Probably you've come to terms with,
I don't know. Just about, yes.

522
00:29:52,940 --> 00:29:55,780
And it's one of these
utterly timeless biscuits.

523
00:29:55,780 --> 00:29:58,820
Custard creams.
Really, they were Mum's biscuits.

524
00:29:58,820 --> 00:30:02,620
Got a squashed fly biscuit?
A Garibaldi. A Garibaldi. Garibaldi.

525
00:30:02,620 --> 00:30:05,020
It's almost like an Airfix kit
of a biscuit,

526
00:30:05,020 --> 00:30:07,180
that you get this big slab
of Garibaldi,

527
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:09,460
which you then break
into individual Garibaldis.

528
00:30:09,460 --> 00:30:13,060
There's something about
the way it breaks.
Yes. It's a very soft break.

529
00:30:15,540 --> 00:30:17,420
That is an exciting biscuit
right there.

530
00:30:17,420 --> 00:30:19,300
The ginger nut,
the middle is all calm

531
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:22,580
and then outside here, can you see
how that's all broken away

532
00:30:22,580 --> 00:30:24,420
as the ginger nut's expanded?

533
00:30:24,420 --> 00:30:26,540
It's like looking at an alien world,
isn't it?

534
00:30:26,540 --> 00:30:29,100
They find moons round Jupiter
and they're all like,

535
00:30:29,100 --> 00:30:31,140
"It's got a line like that
little round bit."

536
00:30:31,140 --> 00:30:33,020
I think it's the same
with ginger nuts.

537
00:30:33,020 --> 00:30:35,500
Each one has got its own story
to tell

538
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:38,620
about how it was formed
and how it came to life.

539
00:30:38,620 --> 00:30:39,900
There you go, Nigel,

540
00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:42,700
There's your other archetypal
cream biscuit, it's the Bourbon.

541
00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:44,540
Hadn't they used to have
more sugar on? Yeah

542
00:30:44,540 --> 00:30:47,620
but what we're always looking
for in the Bourbon is ten holes.

543
00:30:47,620 --> 00:30:52,260
I've got my tape measure,
because a Bourbon should be 63...

544
00:30:52,260 --> 00:30:57,300
62 cm... 62 mm is what we like
in a Bourbon.

545
00:30:57,300 --> 00:30:58,700
You are measuring a Bourbon.
Yeah.

546
00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:05,260
And also that thing of running
your teeth down the cream.

547
00:31:05,260 --> 00:31:08,100
I know I did - wasn't supposed to.
Yeah.

548
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:09,940
That's what your top two front
teeth are,

549
00:31:09,940 --> 00:31:12,500
for leaving tracks in biscuit cream.

550
00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:16,220
I can't believe I've met somebody
who knows how many holes there are
in a Bourbon. Ten.

551
00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:26,380
There's a lot of memories
in a biscuit for me.

552
00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:30,540
The lemon puff was originally
my dad's biscuit

553
00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:35,740
and this was the biscuit
that my dad would take up to his
greenhouse with a cup of coffee

554
00:31:35,740 --> 00:31:38,140
and he'd do whatever men do
in their greenhouses

555
00:31:38,140 --> 00:31:40,580
with their tomato plants
and orchids and what have you

556
00:31:40,580 --> 00:31:43,860
but he'd have a couple of these.

557
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,700
And then there's the pink wafer.

558
00:31:45,700 --> 00:31:48,740
This was the biscuit that was
always left in the biscuit tin

559
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:50,380
when all the others had gone

560
00:31:50,380 --> 00:31:52,020
and it was like a sad biscuit,

561
00:31:52,020 --> 00:31:55,220
it was the one that nobody wanted
and I certainly didn't.

562
00:31:55,220 --> 00:31:57,380
But my mum loved them.

563
00:31:57,380 --> 00:32:01,260
There's something quite vulnerable
and frail about the pink wafer.

564
00:32:01,260 --> 00:32:04,380
It's a very gentle biscuit,
very tender.

565
00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:10,340
It has a sort of feminine charm
to it. It's really rather lovely.

566
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:13,020
And it was Mum's biscuit.

567
00:32:16,740 --> 00:32:18,900
I'll have some biscuits, too.
Dry or sweet?

568
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:21,820
Now, no discussion of biscuits
could be complete

569
00:32:21,820 --> 00:32:24,460
without the savoury biscuit,
the cracker.

570
00:32:25,460 --> 00:32:29,020
That's the biscuit I used
to take to bed when I was kid,

571
00:32:29,020 --> 00:32:33,780
a square cream cracker spread
with lots of salty butter.

572
00:32:33,780 --> 00:32:37,780
To this day, if I'm not very well
it'll be that that I'll turn to.

573
00:32:37,780 --> 00:32:39,820
All these biscuits have
a personality.

574
00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:42,540
I mean literally -
who was Dr Oliver?

575
00:32:45,060 --> 00:32:48,460
Who was Mr Jacob?

576
00:32:48,460 --> 00:32:50,460
And who were the Carrs?

577
00:32:53,540 --> 00:32:57,820
Most of the leading biscuit firms
in Britain were run by Quakers.

578
00:32:57,820 --> 00:33:00,900
It therefore seems right
that the most ardent Quaker firms

579
00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:03,700
were making
the more abstemious biscuits.

580
00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:06,420
One such company was
Carr's of Carlisle,

581
00:33:06,420 --> 00:33:11,020
a firm that brought Quaker values
to bear on every part
of their business.

582
00:33:11,020 --> 00:33:14,180
I've caught up with the
Beatles' biographer Hunter Davies,

583
00:33:14,180 --> 00:33:17,260
who's writing a book
about the firm's history.

584
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:19,700
Jonathan Dodgson Carr was
a Quaker.

585
00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:22,220
He was tough
but he was very benevolent -

586
00:33:22,220 --> 00:33:24,300
he tried to look after the workers.

587
00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:28,260
This is an apprentice
at Carr's in 1849

588
00:33:28,260 --> 00:33:31,460
and in this contract,
amongst other things, it says

589
00:33:31,460 --> 00:33:35,540
that, "he shall not commit
fornication

590
00:33:35,540 --> 00:33:39,260
"nor contract matrimony
within the said term,

591
00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:44,380
"shall not play at cards or dice
tables or any other unlawful games."

592
00:33:44,380 --> 00:33:47,460
That's almost like a footballer's
contract today.

593
00:33:47,460 --> 00:33:50,060
Well, except for...
Apart from the fornication.

594
00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:54,420
And the whole point
with Quaker firms is that
you think really of the future.

595
00:33:54,420 --> 00:33:57,300
You're not thinking
of quick profits today

596
00:33:57,300 --> 00:33:59,900
and closing things down
because they're not working.

597
00:33:59,900 --> 00:34:02,980
The first factory had baths,
they'd had school rooms,

598
00:34:02,980 --> 00:34:05,620
they had libraries,
they're trying to feed the workers,

599
00:34:05,620 --> 00:34:07,340
not the shareholders.

600
00:34:07,340 --> 00:34:09,500
I know you're writing about
a group of women

601
00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:11,260
who worked
at the Carr's biscuit factory.

602
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:14,540
They were called cracker packers.
Cracker packers!

603
00:34:14,540 --> 00:34:16,780
And they did what that suggests -

604
00:34:16,780 --> 00:34:22,700
they stood there packing crackers
into the wrapping machines.

605
00:34:22,700 --> 00:34:25,780
They also had the most brilliant
magazine called the Topper Off.

606
00:34:25,780 --> 00:34:28,180
Why was it called the Topper Off?

607
00:34:28,180 --> 00:34:32,780
Because the lady on the production
line, the last lady, put the top on.

608
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:36,100
She was the topper off, so the
magazine was called the Topper Off.

609
00:34:36,100 --> 00:34:38,500
I was looking at a 1963 edition

610
00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:41,860
and the Beatles came to Carlisle
in 1963.

611
00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:44,420
One of the girls, the cracker
packers, had gone there

612
00:34:44,420 --> 00:34:46,900
and written a beautiful
first-hand account

613
00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:49,180
of going to the concert
at the Lonsdale Cinema.

614
00:34:49,180 --> 00:34:52,580
It's one of the earliest
first-hand accounts of them on tour.

615
00:35:02,420 --> 00:35:07,420
Round about the time
that I was saving my pocket money up
for Beatles' albums

616
00:35:07,420 --> 00:35:10,660
and my brother would come home
with really cool clothes,

617
00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:14,860
like suede boots
and those skinny knitted ties...

618
00:35:16,540 --> 00:35:18,980
I was looking for a new biscuit,
something different,

619
00:35:18,980 --> 00:35:21,140
a big boy's biscuit.

620
00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:23,900
So there was the chocolate Penguin,

621
00:35:23,900 --> 00:35:26,300
with its beautiful
jewel-coloured wrappers.

622
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:30,940
There was the Jacob's Club
with the thick, thick chocolate.

623
00:35:30,940 --> 00:35:32,860
There's something different
about these.

624
00:35:32,860 --> 00:35:36,380
They were luxurious
but they were also quite hip.

625
00:35:36,380 --> 00:35:40,700
# If you like a lot of chocolate
on your biscuit join our club! #

626
00:35:41,820 --> 00:35:44,620
But there was also the Jaffa Cake.

627
00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:46,980
This was the biscuit
that my brother introduced me to,

628
00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:50,380
a wonderful little biscuit,
but very special.

629
00:35:50,380 --> 00:35:53,580
It's got a layer of sponge, which in
those days was quite crisp and dry,

630
00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:55,620
and a bit of chocolaty coating

631
00:35:55,620 --> 00:35:58,460
and then inside,
that wonderful little disc of jelly.

632
00:35:58,460 --> 00:36:00,300
In fact, the whole thing's
a bit like a disc.

633
00:36:00,300 --> 00:36:03,260
It was like a little 45 rpm record,
a little single.

634
00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:07,300
You know, I'd also heard,
and it may not be true,

635
00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:09,780
that when the Beatles got
their first royalty cheque,

636
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:15,300
John Lennon had spent some of it
on an entire box, a crate,

637
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:17,420
of Jaffa Cakes.

638
00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:19,020
There's good taste for you.

639
00:36:19,020 --> 00:36:23,660
# Oh, you've got lots of biscuits
Different shapes and different types

640
00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:26,780
# But in the end we know there's one
That everybody likes

641
00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:29,540
# It's full of country goodness... #

642
00:36:29,540 --> 00:36:31,660
But whenever I consider
all those biscuits

643
00:36:31,660 --> 00:36:33,940
I really loved
as a growing teenager,

644
00:36:33,940 --> 00:36:39,500
there's one particular biscuit I
always return to - the Abbey Crunch,

645
00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:43,860
which tragically stopped production
back in 2006.

646
00:36:43,860 --> 00:36:46,940
# It must be the oats! Yeah! #

647
00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:50,940
If I reach in my rucksack here,
I have something
that you may appreciate.

648
00:36:51,580 --> 00:36:55,860
Here we are. I saved this from 2006.

649
00:36:57,580 --> 00:37:00,140
No way! Yes.

650
00:37:00,940 --> 00:37:03,100
Be very careful with this,

651
00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:05,980
because it's possibly
the last packet on the planet.

652
00:37:05,980 --> 00:37:07,820
Oh! Look!

653
00:37:07,820 --> 00:37:10,700
I knew that they were stopping
the production of them

654
00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:13,340
and it was my favourite biscuit...
It is the best biscuit ever.

655
00:37:13,340 --> 00:37:16,900
There is no better biscuit, there
will never be a better biscuit.

656
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:20,380
So this is the bit when I start to
look a bit like a crazy biscuit guy.

657
00:37:20,380 --> 00:37:21,660
Well... But...

658
00:37:21,660 --> 00:37:24,900
This is the bit? Do you remember
where you first had one?

659
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:28,340
Oh, heavens, yes. At my Auntie
Marjorie and Uncle John's house

660
00:37:28,340 --> 00:37:31,580
and out came these wonderful
looking, rather cracked biscuits.

661
00:37:31,580 --> 00:37:34,380
Yes! They had a lovely open texture
to them

662
00:37:34,380 --> 00:37:36,980
and it really was
love at first bite.

663
00:37:36,980 --> 00:37:39,900
When you try to make
an Abbey Crunch, you can't. Yeah.

664
00:37:39,900 --> 00:37:43,780
And I've tried - you can't.
Yes. Mary Berry tried
to make some for me once.

665
00:37:43,780 --> 00:37:46,180
The wonderful Mary Berry.
And they were lovely biscuits

666
00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:50,700
but I couldn't look her in the eye
and say that she'd done it and,
yeah, that was an awkward moment.

667
00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:55,420
Most of the biscuits
we've eaten today,

668
00:37:55,420 --> 00:37:58,460
it's just like going back
through a photograph album.

669
00:37:58,460 --> 00:38:01,780
Yeah. Here we go.
Ah, no way!

670
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:04,300
No way! I haven't had one of those
for years. What's that?

671
00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:06,580
That is a Café Noir, isn't it?
It is.

672
00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:10,580
Oh, there's something very, very
grown up about a coffee biscuit.

673
00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:13,060
Yeah, yeah. That's adult biscuit.

674
00:38:13,060 --> 00:38:16,100
That is an adult biscuit,
it's an adult smell.

675
00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:20,180
I feel I've come of age, I've sort
of reached biscuit puberty.

676
00:38:20,180 --> 00:38:24,060
This is kind of the story
of my life, this biscuit tin.

677
00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:26,260
It must be the story of yours
as well. It certainly is.

678
00:38:26,260 --> 00:38:29,620
I mean, I'm gazing at a biscuit
right now that I vividly remember

679
00:38:29,620 --> 00:38:33,140
as the first biscuit I had when
I started my primary school.

680
00:38:33,140 --> 00:38:35,340
Are we talking Jammie Dodger?
We are.

681
00:38:35,340 --> 00:38:36,700
THEY LAUGH

682
00:38:44,060 --> 00:38:46,460
So that is just jam in there

683
00:38:46,460 --> 00:38:48,180
and it's industrial jam.

684
00:38:48,180 --> 00:38:50,700
This is not jam that you'd put your
toast in the morning,

685
00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:53,100
This is biscuit jam.
It's doing a job.

686
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:55,100
It's holding together two biscuits.

687
00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:02,780
You know like the strings
on a pizza? Yes.

688
00:39:04,660 --> 00:39:06,940
Well, same thing.
And you want to wrestle it apart

689
00:39:06,940 --> 00:39:09,300
and you know if you do
you're going to break it.

690
00:39:14,580 --> 00:39:18,340
We've moved to the point where
we're going to discuss chocolate.

691
00:39:19,580 --> 00:39:21,540
That's a Wagon Wheel.

692
00:39:21,540 --> 00:39:24,500
You're going to talk to me about
size, aren't you? I am. I'm sorry.

693
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:27,500
# Well, you can't help smiling
When you eat a wagon wheel

694
00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:31,020
# It tastes so good
It almost seems a sin. #

695
00:39:31,020 --> 00:39:32,540
Size is important.

696
00:39:32,540 --> 00:39:34,500
# ..about a Wagon Wheel

697
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:37,140
# It's so big you've got to grin
to get it in. #

698
00:39:39,340 --> 00:39:42,820
That is not what it used to be.
So, indeed it isn't

699
00:39:42,820 --> 00:39:46,660
but only slightly, because when they
moved the production of these,

700
00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:50,740
they changed the biscuit rollers
and ever so slightly,
they got smaller.

701
00:39:50,740 --> 00:39:52,940
It was invented by a guy
called Gary Weston.

702
00:39:52,940 --> 00:39:55,100
He actually invented it
very, very quickly.

703
00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:58,820
They put it together from idea
to production biscuit
in about six weeks.

704
00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:01,540
And this was a Marie biscuit
in there... Yeah.

705
00:40:01,540 --> 00:40:03,620
..with a very thin layer
of mallow

706
00:40:03,620 --> 00:40:06,220
and the stuff round the outside
was not chocolate.

707
00:40:06,220 --> 00:40:09,500
They couldn't call it chocolate.
It was called Blackpool coating.

708
00:40:09,500 --> 00:40:11,860
But when they all came together
it made a Wagon Wheel,

709
00:40:11,860 --> 00:40:16,380
which for me was a fabulous, fabulous
treat of a biscuit as a kid

710
00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:20,780
and still is today.
It was worth spending
every penny of your pocket money.

711
00:40:21,580 --> 00:40:26,500
# If you like a lot of chocolate
on your biscuit join our club. #

712
00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:29,540
This was the biscuit
of the special occasion.

713
00:40:29,540 --> 00:40:33,060
I suppose, because we didn't
really have afternoon tea... Yeah.

714
00:40:33,060 --> 00:40:36,460
..when we went somewhere,
like an auntie or uncle's house
or something like that,

715
00:40:36,460 --> 00:40:40,300
this is what would come out
in a little pile on a plate,

716
00:40:40,300 --> 00:40:42,180
usually with roses on,
and a little doyley.

717
00:40:42,180 --> 00:40:46,420
The thing about the Club is
it used to have amazingly huge
amounts of chocolate on there.

718
00:40:46,420 --> 00:40:48,140
Where's the ruddy chocolate?

719
00:40:48,140 --> 00:40:50,020
So much so that you could
bite it off in lumps.

720
00:40:50,020 --> 00:40:53,140
The chocolate was so thick
that you could bite it off

721
00:40:53,140 --> 00:40:55,180
without damaging the biscuit.

722
00:40:58,140 --> 00:41:01,420
The chocolate-covered digestive.
It's the nation's favourite biscuit.

723
00:41:01,420 --> 00:41:05,700
Is it? Yep. We do more chocolate
digestives than any other biscuit.

724
00:41:05,700 --> 00:41:08,620
But for me it has to be
dark chocolate. Really? Yeah.

725
00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:10,900
You're a dark chocolate man?
I'm a dark chocolate man.

726
00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:13,140
I wouldn't want to cast aspersions
on your character -

727
00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:14,780
that's not what we're here to do -

728
00:41:14,780 --> 00:41:18,860
but people who like the plain
chocolate digestive I tend to think

729
00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:22,220
do have a sense of self-superiority
about them.

730
00:41:27,020 --> 00:41:29,460
Am I wrong? Erm...

731
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:35,420
Not far... Not far off.

732
00:41:35,420 --> 00:41:39,900
Let's put it this way,
you hear the phrase,
"Well, I like the plain ones,"

733
00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:45,500
thrown back at you
in a kind of mildly judgemental way.

734
00:41:48,340 --> 00:41:50,060
OK. I'm a bit smug.

735
00:41:57,740 --> 00:42:01,940
Maybe biscuits can tell us something
about what sort of people we are,

736
00:42:01,940 --> 00:42:04,500
but there's one thing we do
with biscuits

737
00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:07,860
that splits us down the middle -
to dunk or not to dunk.

738
00:42:09,700 --> 00:42:12,380
So Proust dunked his madeleine.

739
00:42:12,380 --> 00:42:15,780
You have to dunk a ship's biscuit
in order to make it edible.

740
00:42:15,780 --> 00:42:19,940
But dunking has other connotations
too - it's a social thing.

741
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:23,500
In fact, Debrett's insists
that you shouldn't dunk

742
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:25,860
unless you're in
very informal company.

743
00:42:26,660 --> 00:42:31,580
My father thought dunking was
a bit common. I wasn't allowed to.

744
00:42:31,580 --> 00:42:33,260
I used to dunk
when he wasn't looking.

745
00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:35,740
But dunking is something
that I think is quite essential,

746
00:42:35,740 --> 00:42:37,500
it's quite important.

747
00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:39,340
There are dunking moments

748
00:42:39,340 --> 00:42:41,780
and it shouldn't, I think,
be taken lightly.

749
00:42:46,140 --> 00:42:48,500
I'm heading off to Hull University

750
00:42:48,500 --> 00:42:51,900
where, as mad scientists tend to,
they conduct research

751
00:42:51,900 --> 00:42:55,220
into countless everyday objects,
such as the biscuit,

752
00:42:55,220 --> 00:42:58,460
whether it's testing
them under extreme pressure

753
00:42:58,460 --> 00:43:00,300
to help manufacturers
with packaging,

754
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:04,340
or igniting them
to better illustrate
the calorific content in food.

755
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,140
I'm here for another reason -

756
00:43:06,140 --> 00:43:10,180
to explore what happens when we dunk
a biscuit into something hot.

757
00:43:10,180 --> 00:43:13,060
Oh, I get to wear glasses like you.
HE SNIGGERS

758
00:43:13,780 --> 00:43:15,500
There we are - how cool are these?

759
00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:18,140
This is a very important subject
to me

760
00:43:18,140 --> 00:43:22,860
because there's nothing worse
than that soggy debris

761
00:43:22,860 --> 00:43:26,260
at the bottom of the cup...
The sludge at the end
of your cup of tea. The sludge.

762
00:43:26,260 --> 00:43:30,820
So what exactly happens when we dunk
a biscuit into tea or hot water?

763
00:43:30,820 --> 00:43:32,660
You've got to understand
what a biscuit is

764
00:43:32,660 --> 00:43:35,820
and biscuit is grains of starch
all compacted together

765
00:43:35,820 --> 00:43:39,420
and, as you know,
it's made with fat and sugar

766
00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:41,500
that basically is the glue
that holds it together.

767
00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:46,180
When you put it into water, the sugar
and the fat start to dissolve

768
00:43:46,180 --> 00:43:48,180
and the biscuit starts to fall apart.

769
00:43:48,180 --> 00:43:50,260
What you'll also see is when we put
it in the water,

770
00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:53,700
the same way in which water comes up
a plant,

771
00:43:53,700 --> 00:43:56,020
it will actually crawl up
against gravity.

772
00:43:56,020 --> 00:43:58,580
Inside the biscuits
on a microscopic level

773
00:43:58,580 --> 00:44:01,620
there are tiny holes that act
just like that, like capillaries,

774
00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:04,060
and the water actually climbs up
against gravity.

775
00:44:04,060 --> 00:44:07,460
We're taking the nation's
ten favourite dunking biscuits

776
00:44:07,460 --> 00:44:10,220
and by dunking them all
within an inch of their lives,

777
00:44:10,220 --> 00:44:13,460
we'll arrive
at Britain's strongest drunker.

778
00:44:13,460 --> 00:44:15,820
Number one,
the chocolate chip cookie.

779
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:18,260
We're timing it, so we can compare it
with the other ones.

780
00:44:18,260 --> 00:44:21,140
The fluid is drawing up.
It's over halfway.

781
00:44:21,140 --> 00:44:24,180
Oh! We've lost a chocolate chip.
The first casualty.

782
00:44:24,180 --> 00:44:26,100
That is a dunking disaster.

783
00:44:26,100 --> 00:44:30,180
Ginger Nut next. Is this one
going to last a long time?
I think it'll last forever.

784
00:44:30,180 --> 00:44:33,020
Oh, heavens!
That is going up really quickly.

785
00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:36,100
That's the old capillary action
I told you about. Yeah.

786
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:37,500
Ooh.

787
00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:40,300
This is the HobNob. Let's go for it.

788
00:44:40,300 --> 00:44:43,660
Look, straight away -
crumbs cascading down.

789
00:44:43,660 --> 00:44:46,580
Look, all that
in the bottom of your cup. Yuck.

790
00:44:46,580 --> 00:44:50,780
Oh, look! You'd end up eating that
with a teaspoon.

791
00:44:50,780 --> 00:44:52,580
It's time
for the chocolate digestive.

792
00:44:53,940 --> 00:44:56,500
The chocolate formed a layer
that helped hold it together.

793
00:44:57,140 --> 00:45:00,620
Ready with the custard cream?
Yeah, I'm always ready
for a custard cream.

794
00:45:00,620 --> 00:45:02,820
What we'll probably find
with this one is

795
00:45:02,820 --> 00:45:06,580
the cream centre will act
a bit like a glue
to hold it together for longer.

796
00:45:09,060 --> 00:45:11,860
Next up, chocolate Bourbon.
It's a slightly coarser crumb.
Mm-hm.

797
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:16,740
Digestive. Yeah.
We all love a digestive.

798
00:45:19,060 --> 00:45:23,340
Complete dunking disaster.
That just doesn't work at all.

799
00:45:24,700 --> 00:45:27,620
So, Rich tea.
And the clock is ticking.

800
00:45:29,180 --> 00:45:31,580
It's just going to sit there,
isn't it?

801
00:45:31,580 --> 00:45:33,300
It hasn't moved at all.

802
00:45:35,020 --> 00:45:38,100
Over ten minutes now. Still going.

803
00:45:41,380 --> 00:45:43,380
It feels like a wet bath mat.

804
00:45:44,340 --> 00:45:48,980
The HobNob lasted
a paltry 13 seconds. I knew it.

805
00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:51,500
And the king of the hill
was the Rich Tea,

806
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:53,860
which lasted
well in excess of ten minutes.

807
00:45:53,860 --> 00:45:58,060
It's the safety biscuit.
The biscuit you can always rely on.

808
00:46:01,060 --> 00:46:05,220
Making no judgments,
but there is a consumer study

809
00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:10,820
that tells exactly who buys
what newspaper and what biscuit.

810
00:46:10,820 --> 00:46:14,940
The Daily Mail reader,
the Garibaldi, the plain arrowroot

811
00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:17,460
and they're quite partial
to a Rich Tea as well.

812
00:46:17,460 --> 00:46:20,020
The Guardian reader likes
all the posh stuff -

813
00:46:20,020 --> 00:46:24,420
the amarettis, the chocolate
Florentines and the biscottis.

814
00:46:24,420 --> 00:46:29,580
The Sun likes a pink wafer. In fact,
the Sun loves a pink wafer.

815
00:46:29,580 --> 00:46:32,580
The Scotsman reader will be
tucking into an oatcake.

816
00:46:32,580 --> 00:46:34,660
It's just what it says.

817
00:46:34,660 --> 00:46:38,180
But no story of the British biscuit
is complete

818
00:46:38,180 --> 00:46:40,300
without acknowledging
our friends in the north.

819
00:46:40,300 --> 00:46:43,100
McVitie's,
born in Edinburgh in 1830,

820
00:46:43,100 --> 00:46:49,860
is to this day
the market leader in a £2.3 billion
British biscuit industry.

821
00:46:49,860 --> 00:46:52,860
Its most famous creation was
the digestive biscuit,

822
00:46:52,860 --> 00:46:57,060
invented by Alexander Grant in 1892.

823
00:46:57,060 --> 00:47:00,700
ARCHIVE: In Scotland they eat
twice as many chocolate biscuits
as anywhere in England.

824
00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:03,660
But the Scots are merely leaders
in an expanding field.

825
00:47:03,660 --> 00:47:05,300
In the jargon of the trade,

826
00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:08,900
the informal snack occasion has
become a growth area.

827
00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:12,740
As history proves, the Scots are
a fiercely loyal nation

828
00:47:12,740 --> 00:47:15,380
and so what better place to visit

829
00:47:15,380 --> 00:47:18,780
to explore the point
at which loyalty
to a particular biscuit brand

830
00:47:18,780 --> 00:47:22,260
verges on, well, the fanatical.

831
00:47:23,220 --> 00:47:26,460
I'm here in St Andrews to meet
a group of former students

832
00:47:26,460 --> 00:47:29,020
who are hiding somewhere
on the campus.

833
00:47:30,340 --> 00:47:35,140
Hello. Hello, I'm Nigel.
I'm Alastair. Alastair, hi. Welcome.

834
00:47:35,140 --> 00:47:40,620
This is where the St Andrews
University Tunnock's Caramel Wafer
Appreciation Society was founded,

835
00:47:40,620 --> 00:47:42,340
in this very space.

836
00:47:42,340 --> 00:47:45,460
We have a photograph of this room

837
00:47:45,460 --> 00:47:47,860
wallpapered
in Caramel Wafer wrappers. Oh, what?!

838
00:47:48,900 --> 00:47:51,580
Oh, what?!

839
00:47:51,580 --> 00:47:54,740
This... This is so beautiful.

840
00:47:54,740 --> 00:47:56,860
I love the way it goes
right up to the top. Yes, yes.

841
00:47:56,860 --> 00:47:59,260
Except the corner
that we probably couldn't reach.

842
00:47:59,260 --> 00:48:01,220
It's just so beautiful.

843
00:48:01,220 --> 00:48:04,140
One of our stunts,
and we had many suggestions, was

844
00:48:04,140 --> 00:48:07,580
to send a packet of Caramel Wafers
to notable people of the day,

845
00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:09,380
ask them to eat the wafer

846
00:48:09,380 --> 00:48:11,620
and send back the wrapper
with their autograph

847
00:48:11,620 --> 00:48:13,900
and we then auctioned
the autographs for charity.

848
00:48:13,900 --> 00:48:17,660
Somebody sent some to Ted Hughes,
the Poet Laureate of the day,

849
00:48:17,660 --> 00:48:20,980
and I have a lovely letter
from his wife Carol

850
00:48:20,980 --> 00:48:23,460
that says, "Thank you very much
for the wafers.

851
00:48:23,460 --> 00:48:25,860
"Ted has now signed all the wrappers

852
00:48:25,860 --> 00:48:27,900
"and I'm afraid to say
I ate all the wafers,"

853
00:48:27,900 --> 00:48:29,900
and back came these wrappers

854
00:48:29,900 --> 00:48:32,940
and the wrappers had on them
original poems or verses

855
00:48:32,940 --> 00:48:35,620
that Ted Hughes had sketched
on the back of these wrappers.

856
00:48:35,620 --> 00:48:40,660
Our finest treasure is this,
the Ted Hughes poem.

857
00:48:40,660 --> 00:48:42,460
Oh, this is the Ted Hughes poem.

858
00:48:42,460 --> 00:48:45,380
So this is Ted Hughes' own poem
in his own handwriting.

859
00:48:45,380 --> 00:48:49,300
"To have swallowed a crocodile
Would make anybody smile

860
00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:52,740
"But to swallow a caramel wafer
Is safer."

861
00:48:55,580 --> 00:48:57,220
Beautiful, isn't it?
Bless him.

862
00:48:57,220 --> 00:48:59,460
Here's one that might interest you.
Look at this.

863
00:48:59,460 --> 00:49:02,060
Oh! Bless him!

864
00:49:02,060 --> 00:49:05,100
Oh, bless him, we miss him so much.
Yes!

865
00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:08,180
I love his little wine glass.
Oh, isn't that a thing of beauty?

866
00:49:08,180 --> 00:49:11,180
A particular moment of merriment
comes from NASA,

867
00:49:11,180 --> 00:49:15,940
when we sent a Caramel Wafer to NASA.
From NASA? Yes, yes.

868
00:49:15,940 --> 00:49:19,100
We wrote to NASA and asked them
whether it would be possible

869
00:49:19,100 --> 00:49:21,500
to send a Caramel Wafer into space,

870
00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:25,460
so we had a beautiful letter back
from NASA which goes like this.

871
00:49:25,460 --> 00:49:28,180
"Dear Mr Johnson, I am sorry
to be so late getting back to you

872
00:49:28,180 --> 00:49:30,020
"in answer to your letter
of February 19th

873
00:49:30,020 --> 00:49:32,580
"but the person who answers our mail
has been out sick

874
00:49:32,580 --> 00:49:33,940
"and we are badly backlogged."

875
00:49:33,940 --> 00:49:37,060
NASA! Marvellous, I love it.

876
00:49:37,060 --> 00:49:38,900
So we followed it up
and they said to us

877
00:49:38,900 --> 00:49:42,940
that for the very reasonable price
of between $3,000 and $10,000,

878
00:49:42,940 --> 00:49:48,060
we could then have it itemised as
a scheduled payload on the shuttle

879
00:49:48,060 --> 00:49:51,500
but the deposit of $500 was beyond
our means in those days,

880
00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:53,180
so we let it lie there.

881
00:49:53,180 --> 00:49:55,700
Couldn't just slip it
into their tuck box?

882
00:49:55,700 --> 00:49:56,660
LAUGHTER
Yes!

883
00:49:56,660 --> 00:50:00,340
..three, two, one, liftoff!

884
00:50:02,180 --> 00:50:03,380
Liftoff.

885
00:50:05,540 --> 00:50:10,500
It strikes me
that this strange fellowship,
alive and kicking 30 years on,

886
00:50:10,500 --> 00:50:14,940
is perhaps more about the wrapper
than the actual biscuit.

887
00:50:14,940 --> 00:50:16,540
There is almost a sort of ritual

888
00:50:16,540 --> 00:50:18,780
around eating
a Tunnock's Caramel Wafer -

889
00:50:18,780 --> 00:50:22,260
the taking off of the wrapper,
how you eat it, what you do
with the wrapper after.

890
00:50:22,260 --> 00:50:23,860
You have to fold the wrapper down.

891
00:50:23,860 --> 00:50:29,300
I open it right up and use it as
a plate, the wrapper, like so.
I keep hold of the wrapper.

892
00:50:29,300 --> 00:50:32,060
I just eat them whole!
GROANING

893
00:50:33,740 --> 00:50:36,500
This is really quite extraordinary.

894
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:38,700
And not a little bonkers, either.

895
00:50:38,700 --> 00:50:43,300
The meeting of the old -
that's the founders -
and its newest members,

896
00:50:43,300 --> 00:50:46,060
it's such a simple thing
in a complicated world.

897
00:50:48,620 --> 00:50:52,620
You have to protect the biscuit,
keep it safe,

898
00:50:52,620 --> 00:50:55,060
and the biscuit tin is
an obvious place to keep it,

899
00:50:55,060 --> 00:50:57,180
but a biscuit tin also says
keep out.

900
00:50:57,180 --> 00:51:01,340
An individual wrapper,
on the other hand, is
very different.

901
00:51:01,340 --> 00:51:07,460
It's welcoming, it's inviting,
that little crackle of a wrapper.

902
00:51:11,220 --> 00:51:14,260
You're unwrapping a present,
it's a gift, it's something special.

903
00:51:14,260 --> 00:51:15,500
It's a treat.

904
00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:18,620
But then when that's gone,
you've still got the wrapper,

905
00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:20,940
you've got this beautiful
little thing,

906
00:51:20,940 --> 00:51:24,540
whether it's silver or gold or red,
whether it's stripy,

907
00:51:24,540 --> 00:51:27,020
whether it's got a logo on it -

908
00:51:27,020 --> 00:51:29,700
you've got this
and this is so important.

909
00:51:30,900 --> 00:51:35,780
And this is something that
modern companies are forgetting.

910
00:51:35,780 --> 00:51:37,500
Things are being wrapped
for freshness,

911
00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:39,060
they are being wrapped for safety,

912
00:51:39,060 --> 00:51:43,140
they're being wrapped
to be tamper-proof.

913
00:51:43,140 --> 00:51:45,900
But what's that about? You're losing
the ritual, it's gone.

914
00:51:45,900 --> 00:51:49,820
You can fold it, you can write
on it, you can use it as a bookmark.

915
00:51:51,420 --> 00:51:55,220
Press the creases
out of a foil wrapping...

916
00:51:55,220 --> 00:51:58,220
and you're pressing the stress
out of your life. It's just gone.

917
00:52:00,820 --> 00:52:03,580
Given the extreme
to which brand loyalties can go,

918
00:52:03,580 --> 00:52:06,180
I'm keen to understand the ways

919
00:52:06,180 --> 00:52:10,340
in which advertisers divide us,
the biscuit buying public,

920
00:52:10,340 --> 00:52:12,780
into certain types of buyers.

921
00:52:13,980 --> 00:52:17,140
There are areas for biscuits, OK?

922
00:52:17,140 --> 00:52:19,900
There's one which is called
the share biscuit.

923
00:52:19,900 --> 00:52:21,980
We're all going to share
some biscuits.

924
00:52:21,980 --> 00:52:24,740
Then you get biscuits
such as a treat biscuit.

925
00:52:24,740 --> 00:52:28,260
Miss Cartwright, I propose...
Mr Wagstaffe!

926
00:52:28,260 --> 00:52:31,900
..that we always have
Fox's biscuits.

927
00:52:31,900 --> 00:52:34,340
You then get the health biscuit,
so what they do

928
00:52:34,340 --> 00:52:38,180
is that the perception,
from a brand perception, is that
this is a healthy biscuit.

929
00:52:38,180 --> 00:52:40,180
Chuck a few oats in, it's healthy.

930
00:52:40,180 --> 00:52:43,260
They're really delicious,
light and crunchy,

931
00:52:43,260 --> 00:52:45,620
with a natural home-baked taste.

932
00:52:45,620 --> 00:52:47,180
Then you get the gift biscuits.

933
00:52:47,180 --> 00:52:51,100
New Chocolate Wafer Fingers were
invented by Cadbury's

934
00:52:51,100 --> 00:52:53,180
for special occasions.

935
00:52:53,180 --> 00:52:54,940
Then you have the fix-it biscuit.

936
00:52:54,940 --> 00:52:57,380
If you were making a biscuit,
which is a fix-it biscuit,

937
00:52:57,380 --> 00:52:59,580
what kind of way would you go?

938
00:52:59,580 --> 00:53:02,780
I would go chocolaty,
I would go crumbly.

939
00:53:02,780 --> 00:53:03,780
KIDS CHEERING

940
00:53:07,220 --> 00:53:08,980
# P-pick up a penguin

941
00:53:08,980 --> 00:53:10,740
# A lovely big penguin

942
00:53:10,740 --> 00:53:14,380
# When you p-p-p-pick up a penguin
There's so much more to enjoy

943
00:53:14,380 --> 00:53:16,580
# If you feel
a little more peckish... #

944
00:53:16,580 --> 00:53:18,980
I spent far too much
of my childhood saying...

945
00:53:18,980 --> 00:53:22,300
P-p-p-p-penguin! Exactly.

946
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:25,740
What was going through
the advertising people's brains
at that time was

947
00:53:25,740 --> 00:53:29,340
this really important aspect
of the child doing something.

948
00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:32,420
Well, what is a child doing?
Two things.

949
00:53:32,420 --> 00:53:36,780
Number one, the child is
doing this alliteration stuff
of p-p-p-p-penguin.

950
00:53:36,780 --> 00:53:38,900
"Do you want a p-p-p-penguin?"
and all that stuff,

951
00:53:38,900 --> 00:53:41,180
so that would go into their heads,
OK?

952
00:53:41,180 --> 00:53:46,140
And the second thing is that
it's got this idea that each Penguin,

953
00:53:46,140 --> 00:53:48,060
the wrapper was a different colour,

954
00:53:48,060 --> 00:53:51,180
which meant that they were
very collectible, yeah?

955
00:53:51,180 --> 00:53:53,460
I've got the red colour,
you've got whatever it might be,

956
00:53:53,460 --> 00:53:55,580
so that was very, very clever.

957
00:53:55,580 --> 00:54:03,420
# Girls are nice but, boy,
what I seek comes with Oreo. #

958
00:54:04,140 --> 00:54:08,180
This is about the twist,
the lick and the dunk.

959
00:54:11,220 --> 00:54:15,180
This brand is America.
Well, all gone.

960
00:54:15,180 --> 00:54:17,340
Is it really the world's biggest
seller?

961
00:54:17,340 --> 00:54:21,300
It is the biggest selling biscuit,
it is the Holy Grail of biscuits.

962
00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:25,020
Actually came out about 1912,
so it's over 100 years old, yeah?

963
00:54:25,020 --> 00:54:26,260
In terms of a brand,

964
00:54:26,260 --> 00:54:30,500
how do you make something which has
such an incredible heritage

965
00:54:30,500 --> 00:54:34,140
part of our own culture?
That's a really big ask.

966
00:54:34,140 --> 00:54:37,500
The amazing thing is
is I think that they've done it.

967
00:54:37,500 --> 00:54:40,660
People are twisting,
licking and dunking.

968
00:54:45,420 --> 00:54:50,020
One thing that still persists in
the world of all things biscuity is

969
00:54:50,020 --> 00:54:53,660
that ultimate of questions -
when is a biscuit not a biscuit?

970
00:54:55,860 --> 00:54:59,140
What's in your box?
What is in the box is controversy.

971
00:55:00,100 --> 00:55:02,420
In our Venn diagram
of the biscuit world,

972
00:55:02,420 --> 00:55:04,620
these are all the things
that are on the outside,

973
00:55:04,620 --> 00:55:06,700
they're all the things
that cause people problems.

974
00:55:07,180 --> 00:55:10,020
Are they a biscuit
or aren't they a biscuit?

975
00:55:11,340 --> 00:55:12,980
Biscuit.
Biscuit.

976
00:55:12,980 --> 00:55:14,140
Biscuit.

977
00:55:14,140 --> 00:55:16,380
I've always missed out on something.

978
00:55:16,380 --> 00:55:19,420
Because I'm not an egg eater...
Right.

979
00:55:19,420 --> 00:55:23,260
..I have missed out on
that boiled egg moment

980
00:55:23,260 --> 00:55:25,900
when you tap the shell
with your teaspoon,

981
00:55:25,900 --> 00:55:27,820
so this is the nearest I ever got,

982
00:55:27,820 --> 00:55:31,260
that moment when you just tap
the top and you've gone in.

983
00:55:34,700 --> 00:55:36,340
What's the brandy snap doing there?

984
00:55:36,340 --> 00:55:38,340
Brandy snap -
brandy snap's not a biscuit.

985
00:55:38,340 --> 00:55:40,140
Isn't it a biscuit? Is that a cake?

986
00:55:40,140 --> 00:55:42,620
No, it's not a cake
but it's not a biscuit either.

987
00:55:42,620 --> 00:55:45,020
Well, it's an outlier, isn't it?

988
00:55:45,020 --> 00:55:48,460
It's an outlier, it's on the very
edge of your Venn diagram. Yeah.

989
00:55:51,700 --> 00:55:55,620
So, biscuit or cake? Biscuit.

990
00:55:55,620 --> 00:55:57,380
Biscuit? Yeah.

991
00:55:57,380 --> 00:56:01,100
Biscuit? I can tell you don't agree
by your tone.

992
00:56:01,100 --> 00:56:05,380
Well, that one has been to court
and been bounced around

993
00:56:05,380 --> 00:56:10,020
and this one is now classified
for VAT purposes as a cake.

994
00:56:10,820 --> 00:56:13,060
Don't start me.
I'm going to start you on that.

995
00:56:13,060 --> 00:56:17,580
Is this a biscuit?
Let's cut to it. It's a wafer.

996
00:56:17,580 --> 00:56:21,620
It's a wafer with chocolate round
it but it will not be pinned down,

997
00:56:21,620 --> 00:56:25,060
it refuses to be pinned down and it
doesn't want to be pinned down.

998
00:56:25,060 --> 00:56:28,740
So what for you is
the definition of a biscuit?

999
00:56:28,740 --> 00:56:31,780
The thing that really makes
a biscuit a biscuit is

1000
00:56:31,780 --> 00:56:37,860
the way that every type of these
biscuits is the same as its brethren.

1001
00:56:37,860 --> 00:56:41,260
That's something that we put a lot
of trust into, it comforts us,

1002
00:56:41,260 --> 00:56:44,180
so we know that these things are
always going to be the same

1003
00:56:44,180 --> 00:56:49,260
and that's a point in our day
where whatever else is going on,

1004
00:56:49,260 --> 00:56:51,860
our biscuit friends are
there for us.

1005
00:56:51,860 --> 00:56:53,620
They are our friends.

1006
00:56:54,660 --> 00:56:57,940
Biscuits are indeed
our culinary friends.

1007
00:56:57,940 --> 00:56:59,740
The containers may have changed

1008
00:56:59,740 --> 00:57:02,420
and the original companies
may have been swallowed up,

1009
00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:06,300
but the biscuits themselves,
all wrapped in their packs,

1010
00:57:06,300 --> 00:57:09,340
uniformly patterned, mass produced,

1011
00:57:09,340 --> 00:57:12,020
have become something
that is surprisingly rare

1012
00:57:12,020 --> 00:57:14,020
in this day and age.

1013
00:57:14,020 --> 00:57:17,700
Whatever anyone says,
biscuits are dependable

1014
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:21,260
and woe betide any manufacturers
who tamper

1015
00:57:21,260 --> 00:57:23,860
with this comforting constant
in our lives.

1016
00:57:25,180 --> 00:57:29,060
You know, there are vandals
in the world of sweets,

1017
00:57:29,060 --> 00:57:31,340
in the world of chocolates,
in the world of biscuits.

1018
00:57:33,100 --> 00:57:35,700
They fiddle around with things,
they repackage things,

1019
00:57:35,700 --> 00:57:37,860
they change the shape,
they change the smell. Yeah.

1020
00:57:37,860 --> 00:57:41,100
No! I want... They should all be
tied to a chair

1021
00:57:41,100 --> 00:57:42,660
with their hands behind their back.

1022
00:57:42,660 --> 00:57:44,820
They should not be allowed
to fiddle with things.

1023
00:57:44,820 --> 00:57:48,980
When they get messed with,
people really can't cope with it.

1024
00:57:48,980 --> 00:57:51,620
These are things
that are almost part of our DNA,

1025
00:57:51,620 --> 00:57:53,420
they're part of our lives. Yes!

1026
00:57:53,420 --> 00:57:57,420
Leave it alone. Leave the packaging
alone, leave the shape of it alone,

1027
00:57:57,420 --> 00:58:00,100
the smell of it alone.
It's like someone, you know...

1028
00:58:00,100 --> 00:58:03,060
It's not like losing a limb
obviously, that would be
a silly thing to say,

1029
00:58:03,060 --> 00:58:08,660
but it's like people messing with
the fundamental fabric of your life.

1030
00:58:08,660 --> 00:58:14,260
If your fig roll is perfect with
the ends open, why make them closed?

1031
00:58:21,460 --> 00:58:24,780
And you did tell me
you've got the name of the person
who killed the Abbey Crunch.

1032
00:58:24,780 --> 00:58:28,340
Yeah, I do,
but I couldn't reveal that.