1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 I'm Oz Clarke. And I'm Hugh Dennis. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,160 I'm of the opinion that Britain produces some of the best drinks in the world. 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,400 Slainte mhor. 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,240 So, we're on a mission - the British pub is under threat 5 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,440 and we've got a plan to revive it. 6 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,720 It's jellyfish. 7 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,240 Jellyfish? 8 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:22,640 First we'll scour the land in search of the hidden gems of British booze. 9 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,760 This is actually between 65 and 70% alcohol. 10 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,280 Happy days! Happy days, yeah. 11 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,720 We'll risk life and limb in the pursuit of perfection. 12 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,800 Oz Clarke, cow whisperer. 13 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,360 He's gone down! 14 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,120 And make some fabulous new discoveries. 15 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,720 That's tremendous. It's very, very good. 16 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:48,120 There will be trial... 17 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,200 That is the liquid equivalent of barbed wire. 18 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,360 ..and there will be retribution. 19 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,800 It's made him cry. 20 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,160 A grown man crying. 21 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:03,240 And we'll criss-cross the land in a mighty green camper van. 22 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:09,560 I think the great thing for me about this is that it hasn't involved any loss of dignity at all. 23 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,880 And at the end of it all, we're going to set up a pub 24 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,160 packed full of the best of British drink. 25 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,360 Put it on, put it on! 26 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:21,040 The problem is we don't agree on what makes the best pub. 27 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:25,640 You are a secret Irish whiskey cream drinker. 28 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,000 That's pathetic. 29 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,240 So we're going to open two bars that will go head to head for one night only. 30 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,920 At last, a drinker is born! 31 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:40,120 The search for the drinks for our pop-up pub has begun. 32 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,960 'What am I doing?' 33 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,400 How many adventures begin in a pub with a bet over a pint? 34 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,160 None of the Famous Five's, but I suppose this one did. 35 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,280 But I still don't understand quite why we're going on this journey. 36 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,560 We're going on this journey because there's a been a sea change 37 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,760 in Britain in the last few years. 38 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,760 I think that we can have a pub 39 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:13,480 stocked entirely with local drinks. 40 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,040 And I think it'll be the best possible pub, 41 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,960 and people will flock to it. 42 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,360 What's wrong with that? That's perfectly good. 43 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,120 What's right with that? 44 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,280 OK, so it's a brand, so it's foreign, but it tastes very good. 45 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,760 It's fine. No-one minds. 46 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,760 I bet they do. I bet you they don't. 47 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,600 I bet you they do. Wait a second. 48 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,560 'Innocuous banter. But then I made a schoolboy error.' 49 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,280 Excuse me, sorry to interrupt - can I just ask a very quick question, 50 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:43,760 is anyone here dissatisfied with continental beers, wines or spirits? 51 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,360 Not one. 52 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,600 'I'd lit a fuse...' 53 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,840 Well, they should be. 54 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,480 '..and had to stand back.' 55 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:55,360 Excuse me. Excuse me. We are in a beautiful British pub here. 56 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,760 Now, if I offered you the chance to drink foaming, Kentish ales 57 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,240 full of locally grown Kentish hops, 58 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,080 if I gave you the chance to drink glittering, sparkling wines 59 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,920 from the Sussex Downs, 60 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,760 if I gave you the chance to drink age-old ciders 61 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,800 from Somerset and the west, 62 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:18,240 now would you come with me and say, "Yes, we'll proudly drink British"? 63 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,760 Yeah! Yes! 64 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,840 Can I have another half of Stella, please? 65 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:32,680 And so begins our great adventure. 66 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,560 I've planned a route that will take us all over the British Isles, 67 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,720 and our Grand Tour begins in the south. 68 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,840 And where are we off to now? Cornwall. 69 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,760 And why are we in a converted railway carriage on wheels? 70 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,200 Because we'll be enjoying the English summer 71 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,440 as only true Brits can. 72 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,760 In the rain? 73 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,040 Camping. Camping in the rain. 74 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,920 This is us. 75 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,400 So, apart from looking like something they signed the Armistice in, 76 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,920 how does this thing work? 77 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:10,880 Ah, the manual. 78 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,840 HUGH SPEAKS DUTCH 79 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,360 So we'll be doing that. 80 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,640 SPEAKS DUTCH 81 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:24,360 Yes, this thing is Dutch and it's called a Tonke. 82 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,320 Rhyming slang for what I'm going to feel like driving it. 83 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,280 And that isn't my only concern. 84 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,680 This is what worries me about this trip. 85 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,040 One... 86 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,480 ..two... 87 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,000 ..three. 88 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,800 And I hardly know my camping companion. 89 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,680 He's got one of the world's finest palates, apparently. 90 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,920 He's the world wine-tasting champion, 91 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:58,040 which he won, I think, in 1970-something, 92 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,440 in a competition which has never been repeated, 93 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,720 so he is still the world wine-tasting champion. 94 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,320 And he's done very well out of it, hasn't he? 95 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:07,960 He's done very well out of it. 96 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,400 All right. 97 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,800 I think it's time to establish the palate pecking order round here 98 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,280 to show Hugh just who's the tasting daddy. 99 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,840 We're going to a Cornish cottage for a pretty serious tasting challenge. 100 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:23,960 Stuart Howe from Sharp's Brewery makes beers with some very peculiar ingredients. 101 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,560 You've got a virgin palate. 102 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,520 First impression is probably going to be better than my first impression, 103 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,960 cos mine will be all garbled up with years and years of experience 104 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,320 and your palate'll be just... like an empty screen. 105 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,600 OK, four beers to taste. 106 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:39,920 Master versus pupil. 107 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,840 Who can spot the mystery ingredient? 108 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,640 Is that fruit? It's not a fruit. 109 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,000 It's more on the palate than the aroma with this one. 110 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,640 It's slightly chilli-like. 111 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,120 This is chilli, chilli beer. 112 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,160 First blood! 113 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,520 This could be a very long summer. 114 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,280 And next... 115 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,000 Darker. Certainly is. 116 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,680 First impressions, good. 117 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,680 This is probably the most difficult. 118 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,320 I thought it smelt of pasties, but then I think... 119 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,720 You're not far away. 120 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,360 Tastes a bit of chocolate to me, but that's probably the malt, is it? 121 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,240 Everyone says chocolate on this one. 122 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,880 It tastes slightly sort of visceral. Very good. 123 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,120 Offal. Offal. Offal. That's it, spot on. 124 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,080 This is one that's brewed with liver, kidney and heart. 125 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,680 And you said offal before I did. I did, yeah. 126 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,920 I do all the work... Well, I think it's a most unfair one-all. 127 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,120 You're going to win though, aren't you? 128 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,160 Not at this rate, I'm not, no. 129 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,960 The nation will find it ridiculous. 130 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,360 Right, two more beers to go. 131 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,480 Time to finish him off and claim these beers for my bar. 132 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,280 This one's going to be tough. 133 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,760 Seaweedy? 134 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,440 Mineral, iodine? 135 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,440 You're on the cusp, Oz. 136 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,760 Oysters? No. 137 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,680 Mussels? No. Cockles. Winkles. 138 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,760 Whelks. No. I think we'll take all day. 139 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,480 We'll have the whole contents of the sea. It's jellyfish. 140 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:06,760 Jellyfish? 141 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,600 Yes. It's the one thing I absolutely hate. 142 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,160 It's like eating plastic bicycle chain. 143 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,560 When have you eaten a plastic bicycle chain? 144 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,840 I don't understand your analogies half the time. 145 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,280 Jellyfish? How on earth was I going to get that? 146 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,720 OK, last one. Now for the coup de grace. 147 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,440 You should be looking back towards the sea with this one. 148 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,520 Do we get as far as the sea or does it live in the sand? 149 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,280 Um, I think some of them live in the sand. 150 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,440 You haven't made it with turtle. You... No. 151 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,080 Did I just mention these? Yeah. 152 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,920 Oysters. Yes. 153 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,000 2-1 to the giant killer. 154 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,920 I could tell they were in there straightaway. 155 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:58,000 I try to gently, carry things along, discussing them as we go. 156 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,440 All you're doing is like a predator, waiting to leap. 157 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,040 As soon as I open up the gap for you, in you leap. 158 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,320 Your problem is that you're working on a coalition model. 159 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,000 I've no interest in that. I'm first past the post. 160 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,960 It'll be a pleasure having your beer in our pub. Good. 161 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,680 Yeah, my half of our pub. 162 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,920 Well, I make that David 1, Goliath 0. 163 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,360 Except, of course, it's not a fight. 164 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,600 So, maybe me 1, Yoda 0. 165 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,320 Well, it is an unlikely result, 166 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,160 so perhaps I should test how much the world's greatest taster actually knows? 167 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,720 You haven't got any of my books there. 168 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,680 I have, actually I have. No, I don't care. I have. 169 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,840 Although technically, it's not really a book, it's more of a map. 170 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,680 It was the only one I could find. 171 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,720 With you looking younger. 172 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,760 New York style of white, three words. 173 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,200 Light. No. 174 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,040 Er, aromatic. No. 175 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,680 Nutty. Nutty! 176 00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:59,920 Well, that's some of them, yeah. 177 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,360 Nutty, yeah. 178 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,320 Nutty. In... 179 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,400 Dispensable. 180 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,440 ..te... 181 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,120 Intense. 182 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,800 Nutty, intense whites. That's New York. 183 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:15,120 In Burgundy, chardonnay produces succulent yet bone dry wines with a... 184 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,560 Hefty price tag. With a... ? 185 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,720 Touch of oak. What's one of your favourite phrases? 186 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,640 Intense. Mm-hm. 187 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,720 What kind of intensity? 188 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,160 Nutty. Nutty intensity. You've used it again. 189 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,400 Some of the finest wines in the world, 190 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:34,520 yet you're still calling them nutty and intense. 191 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,600 Do you know my favourite bit in here? I've just discovered it. 192 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:42,160 Semillon, right? Where - Bordeaux and Australia. 193 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,600 Style - lemony, waxy dry white. 194 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,840 With oak they gain flavours of... 195 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,760 Custard. Custard! 196 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,320 Yes, custard! 197 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,680 So, when you get our semillon now... 198 00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,440 "If you get a semillon"? You can't say that! 199 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,760 That's a... That is a perfectly innocent remark. 200 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,080 That's just really rude. 201 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,520 All this chatter's making me thirsty. 202 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:19,720 Come on, it's Saturday night in fashionable downtown Falmouth. 203 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,120 OK. You lead, I'll follow. 204 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,840 You know what you're doing. 205 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,520 This is the main street. The place is going to be humping, 206 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,280 it's going to be absolutely beating with stuff. 207 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,640 Yep. You are absolutely right. 208 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,320 The town is... Hang on, 209 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,400 hang on, what did you say? 210 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,880 Did you actually "the town will be humping"? 211 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,120 I meant to say... Not heaving or pumping. 212 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,840 I meant to say pumping. I meant to say heaving and pumping, not humping. 213 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,840 I'm beginning to wonder if Oz is going to teach me anything about drinking. 214 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,760 Stick with me, old fruit. Watch and learn. 215 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,760 You see, a proper English pub must have proper atmosphere. 216 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,200 What about this, then? Oh, this is great. 217 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,400 A pub. 218 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,640 # What shall we do with the drunken sailor 219 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,440 # What shall we do with the drunken sailor 220 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,160 # Earl-aye in the morning 221 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,760 # Hoo-ray And up she rises 222 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,480 # Hoo-ray And up she rises 223 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,120 # Hoo-ray And up she rises 224 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,120 # Earl-aye in the morning 225 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,280 # Hoo-ray And up she rises 226 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,760 # Hoo-ray And up... 227 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:27,560 OK, first lesson - never expect Oz to come back from the bar. 228 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:29,880 # ..earl-aye in the morning 229 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:34,720 Hi, I'm Nobby No-mates. I'll just drink the atmosphere. 230 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,040 Am I ever getting my drink? 231 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,400 You've got two pints. 232 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,640 Oh, well. If you can't beat them, join them. 233 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,960 # ..earl-aye in the morning 234 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,200 # Hoo-ray And up she rises 235 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,560 # Earl-aye in the morning. # 236 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,800 OZ AND HUGH LAUGH 237 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,120 Is that more like it? Oh, that was fantastic. Now that is a pub. 238 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,520 Do you want that Shanty band in our bar? 239 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,920 We'd have to take them there in the camper. 240 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,200 What about Middle England shanties? 241 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,640 Only at closing time is Oz finally prepared to leave. 242 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,280 And now, back at the camper, 243 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,920 he wants to record our drink-inspired insights on the beercam. 244 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,440 Trouble is he's struggling with the technology, and quite grumpy. 245 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,040 I have been filming for half an hour... 246 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,800 and it wasn't on. 247 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:27,160 Why didn't you, as a professional, say, "The red light's not on." 248 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,080 Why didn't you say that? 249 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,880 I can see the red light's on. 250 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:35,840 I know that as a professional, and what do you do? Nothing. 251 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,680 Don't film this. 252 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,240 Say goodnight. Goodnight. 253 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,400 Don't turn it off. I've got things to say... 254 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,480 Where are your eyes? 255 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,800 I'm suffering from visalgia. 256 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,840 You don't know what that is, do you? No. 257 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:18,040 Visalgia is a combination of a Greek work for pain, 258 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:24,960 and a Norwegian word for unease after debauchery. 259 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,800 That's what I'm suffering from. 260 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,120 A hangover? Yeah. 261 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,400 Do you know those explanations that you've been giving me 262 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,240 the whole way through every day? 263 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,200 That I haven't really understood very well. 264 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,040 This book 265 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,640 makes it very clear. 266 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,240 I didn't write it. No, that's exactly why. 267 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,760 I taught him everything he knows. 268 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,080 I don't think you can have done. Cos this book... 269 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:58,120 is 256 pages long, 270 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,800 and yours is two pages long. 271 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,720 Well, one page, but you've printed on the other side of it 272 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:05,840 and then folded it. 273 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:10,480 I reckon the folding probably took longer than the writing, to be honest. 274 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,360 Sort of got an intense, nutty... 275 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,760 Oh, stop it! 276 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,400 ..smell. 277 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,600 It's just not fair. 278 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,880 No, it's... Oh, God. Stop that. 279 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,320 I feel ill. 280 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,080 I think my head's going to fall off. 281 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,720 There's no simple remedy for a hangover, 282 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,520 but there are several traditional drinks that claim to provide a cure, 283 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,720 so I'm going to show Hugh how to make them. 284 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:41,800 First, an aggressive little fella known to those who can still speak 285 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,000 as the Red Eye. 286 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,040 Here we go. 287 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,160 Mix together some whisky, coffee, a raw egg, 288 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:55,800 Tabasco sauce, a splash of orange juice, and a dash of cayenne pepper. 289 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,400 How does this one work, then, this particular hangover cure? 290 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,520 It's some sort of... It just blows your head off? 291 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,760 This is a Red Eye. I don't think it's meant to give you a red eye. 292 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,480 Cos if you wanted a red eye, the hangover cure 293 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,800 would just be to punch someone in the face. 294 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,920 Tell me when I can stop. No, I would stop you. 295 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,160 It's just you seem to be enjoying yourself 296 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,560 and it's so harmless and you're smiling and happy. 297 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,840 I'd have stopped ages ago. I wouldn't even have done it. 298 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,920 Great. Now, taste that and see what you think. 299 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,520 I've got to taste it? 300 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,960 Well, you don't have to. I thought you'd like to. 301 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,960 I'm going to taste this, then. 302 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,520 It smells fantastic. 303 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,040 Too much egg, not enough whisky. 304 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,680 Will that help? 305 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,320 That is the liquid equivalent of barbed wire. 306 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,000 Razor ribbon in a jug, that, isn't it? 307 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,240 Yep. 308 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,440 Well, if you thought that was hardcore, try this. 309 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:12,360 A notorious Romanian concoction made from tripe! 310 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,440 Just to remind me. Tripe is... 311 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:19,480 It's the intestine, it's the stomach of a cow. 312 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,760 Now, Igor, you slice up the stomach 313 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,480 while I attend to the rest of the brew. 314 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,720 To wit, a tin of cheap vegetable soup and a slug of vinegar. Yum. 315 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,080 I'm feeling really quite lively now. Right. 316 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,400 Oh! 317 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,400 If you've got some pickled vegetables, throw 'em in. 318 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,840 That's got nothing to do with the recipe, has it? 319 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,040 No. It'll greatly improve it, I promise you. 320 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,000 Tonic water? Is it in the recipe? 321 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,040 No, it's not. Then why are you putting it in? All right, I won't. 322 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,600 I've put in chilli pepper. I mean, chilli's a natural anti-inflammatory. 323 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,400 It eases hangover pain. 324 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,400 Fantastic! 325 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,240 And a generous dash of double cream. 326 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,680 I think that looks utterly, utterly delicious. 327 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,160 I think it's going to be very difficult to know 328 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,360 whether we produce a BBC recipe sheet 329 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,840 or one of those things that says, 330 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:10,040 "If you've been affected by any issues in this programme..." 331 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,520 Viewers of a nervous disposition should look away now. 332 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,920 Nice, smells OK. 333 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,000 Have you ever thought of a second career as a hoover? 334 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,960 Just you try. Just you...? 335 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,120 Oh, that was disgusting. 336 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,120 Is it a nice big bit? 337 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,920 As you swallow it, you can feel it desperately trying 338 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,840 to rise back up your throat. 339 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,200 Actually, that is disgusting. 340 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,240 It's beginning to froth. 341 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:52,680 Look at that. That's now looking like great balls of snot, 342 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,040 sort of licking around 343 00:17:55,040 --> 00:18:01,800 in a foul orange, turbulent witch's cauldron of muck. 344 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,360 Now to put our hangover cures to the test. Right. 345 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:11,880 Four blokes who felt considerably better early yesterday evening. 346 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,480 Now, these are to try and make you face the day 347 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,040 with a little more optimism than you expected. 348 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,760 Now, this is called the Red Eye. 349 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,160 Cheers, fellas. Cheers. 350 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:34,560 That's a bit strong. It is intense, that. 351 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,560 Your eyes are actually watering. 352 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,480 Too much chilli. There's no such thing as too much chilli. 353 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:54,040 You know, do you cook for yourselves? Yeah. Yeah. 354 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,920 Then you know exactly what this will taste like. Absolutely brilliant. 355 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:02,240 If you want to know more about our hangover cures, press the red button. 356 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,680 Only joking. OK, here we go, fellas. This is going to do you good. 357 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,240 Here we go. 358 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,600 Disgusting! 359 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,920 You're crying. 360 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,760 It's made him cry. 361 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,720 A grown man crying. 362 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,600 Have some more. No. It's all right, thank you. 363 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,400 It was tripe. 364 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,320 I also added in various other things like vinegar, 365 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,600 cos I thought I liked the look of it. Olive? 366 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,160 No, that was unfortunately something that I ate last night. 367 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,240 OTHERS LAUGH 368 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,080 I think what we need to do then is to... 369 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:49,600 Here's to health, and here's to what everyone says when they've got a hangover. 370 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,760 I am never going to drink again! 371 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,160 Cheers. 372 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,960 The best hangover cure is not to drink too much in the first place. 373 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,080 I'm going to need some soft drinks in my bar. 374 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,600 Ginger beer? Perfect. 375 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,520 Step this way, sir. The Seven Stars in Falmouth. 376 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,480 Why am I feeling vaguely suspicious? I've no idea... 377 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,360 Reverend. Good evening. 378 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,200 My name is Oz, this is Hugh. Nice to meet you. 379 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,080 The barman is wearing a dog collar. 380 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,880 That's a new direction for the C of E. There's something else I haven't told you. 381 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,080 Is that Colin there? That is Colin, yes. 382 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,160 Lovely to meet you. This is Hugh. 383 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:34,000 I've heard about this terrifying drink that you make. 384 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,040 Alcoholic ginger beer. 385 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,920 Very alcoholic ginger beer, let's say that. 386 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,520 When I got hold of the recipe, when my nan died, 387 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:46,000 I made her exact recipe, I had hydrometers and it was 9%. 388 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,200 9%! 389 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,600 Ginger beer at 9%. 390 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,080 All the neighbours were very happy. 391 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,600 Would you like to try some? Definitely. 392 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,920 Couple of halves to start? What do you take me for? 393 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,000 Someone with absolutely no interest in soft drinks. 394 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,480 That is powerful stuff. 395 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,080 There's a lot of ginger in there. 396 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,240 I can feel a fire all over my tongue. Bit of burn there, yes. 397 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:17,040 And how do you get the beautiful clarity that you can see through? 398 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,840 That's basically ginger. 399 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,240 What do you think of that, then? I think it's absolutely brilliant. 400 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,600 What I think is great, though, is the fact 401 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,800 it's obviously a very popular local drink, isn't it? 402 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,920 Here, that's about as individual a pub as you can possibly get, 403 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,560 and all the beers in there are local Cornish beers. 404 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,800 And then you've got this amazing drink. 405 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,440 And it's also fantastic that it is run by a priest. 406 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,520 That, I like. Who is right in the middle of his community. 407 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:48,160 Well, if a priest is supposed to know all about human nature, 408 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:52,160 where better to learn about it than behind the bar of a pub? 409 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,760 And the whole of brewing really was a monastic thing, wasn't it? 410 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,160 Absolutely right. I'm learning, aren't I? You are. 411 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:04,200 Feeling suitably blessed, it's time to leave Cornwall and head east. 412 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,000 Next up, the sweet taste of Somerset. 413 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,680 The thing about Glastonbury, which is thrilling, is that in Arthurian legend, 414 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,760 the island of Avalon is based in Glastonbury. 415 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:20,240 And Avalon was a magic island in the middle of a lake 416 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,920 and what kind of island was it? 417 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,120 It was an island of magic apples, it was the apple island. 418 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,320 Avalon means "the island of apples". 419 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,000 And we are going to the cider maker 420 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,440 bang in the middle of the Arthurian world of Avalon. 421 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,720 This is the real Somerset. 422 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,160 None of your imported concentrates and fancy bottles down here, 423 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,000 just dry and sweet farmhouse cider, 424 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,800 blended by Roger Wilkins. 425 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,160 This is Hugh. Nice to meet you. 426 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,320 There you are with your glass. A glass of dry? 427 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,000 I'd like some of that, I really would. 428 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,760 Thank you very much. 429 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,320 That's fantastic. Nice and refreshing. 430 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,240 What kind of varieties have you got in there? A mixture. 431 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,840 I was always told years ago, to blend your apples up, blend your cider up. 432 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,280 I learned it off me grandfather years ago, like. 433 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,120 There weren't no chemists about in they days, but the blokes 434 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,560 that used to make it knowed what they were doing. 435 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,480 All by taste, and that's all's I do, is taste everything. 436 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,440 I just think that true cider 437 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,520 is the most natural of all the British drinks. 438 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,960 Purer than the water you'll get out the tap. 439 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,800 So, if we're talking about cider and health, 440 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,240 do you believe it really is good for you? Well, I don't know. 441 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,680 It haven't never hurt me yet and I've drunk me share, 442 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,880 but I hope I'm going to have a drop more. 443 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,560 What does your share mean? 444 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:48,400 Well, I used to drink about 20 pints, one time, a day. Of this? 445 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,440 And where do you sell it, here? Yeah. 446 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,280 What, if I came in and said, "Can I have a pint of cider?" 447 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,680 I could sit down and have a pint of cider? I can't see your till. 448 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,960 I mean, where do you take my money? 449 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,400 Oh, don't keep a till. 450 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,320 This is the biggest honesty box in England? That's it, yeah. 451 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,560 This is wonderful. 452 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,000 You got any houses to buy around here? 453 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,120 Perfect. 454 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,680 Well, looks like I'm driving. 455 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,000 I'm kind of hoping Oz is going to drink quite a lot. 456 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,040 Cos if he goes to sleep, he might stop talking. 457 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:46,960 Well, Oz is certainly sold on Roger's cider, but isn't cider just cider? 458 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:51,120 I mean, is it really different from the stuff you get from the supermarket? 459 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,960 In fact, that gives me an idea. 460 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,600 According to Oz, if it's mass-produced it can't be good. 461 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,160 Frankly, that's just snobbery 462 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,560 and I mean to prove it right here at a festival of cider and perry. 463 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:07,160 Now, cider comes from apples and perry comes from pears, 464 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,960 but so does something else. 465 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:11,680 Babycham! 466 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,840 What are you doing? Filling a barrel full of Babycham. 467 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,600 Why? 468 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:21,240 Cos I'm going to test your ridiculous theory. 469 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:26,120 We give this a name, we both go and sell it in this cider festival, 470 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:28,720 we tell people that it comes from a small producer 471 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,440 in upper Herefordshire. 472 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,280 They will not know the difference. 473 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,880 It's fundamentally dishonest. 474 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,400 No, it's not. We'll tell them at the end. 475 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,360 We're not going to charge them anything for it. 476 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:47,600 I think the chances of it succeeding are completely zero. 477 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,440 What shall we call it? 478 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,920 Um, Choke Dog. 479 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:56,120 Choke Dog is a well known perry pear. Honey Knob. 480 00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,880 We can call it Shambling. 481 00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,400 Cos it's Babycham. 482 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:03,280 Shambling Honey Dog. Honey Knob. 483 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,480 Honey Knob? I spell knob with a K. There you go. 484 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,560 Shambling Honey Knob. 485 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,640 Let's see if I can persuade some discerning perry drinkers 486 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:18,320 that my mass-produced drink is just as good as all this local stuff. 487 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,800 And so the acid test. 488 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,880 Now, who would like some of this? 489 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,440 I'll have some of that. 490 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:38,480 Tell us what you think. Shambling Honey Knob. 491 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,040 That's really nice. 492 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,400 Do you like it? It's, um... Yes, I do. 493 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,720 Carefully thought through and... Absolutely, yes. 494 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,600 ..beautifully manufactured? Beautifully manufactured. 495 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,240 Slips down. Slips down? Fantastic. 496 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,840 Can you taste the loving way in which it's been produced? 497 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,760 Yes, it's quite... Yeah. 498 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:03,000 That's nice. It's slightly meady but it's got the lovely bubbles. 499 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,400 Do you want some? Do you want some perry? 500 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,840 Don't be so cocky. Here's one of the organisers. 501 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,320 She'll see through this sham. 502 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,400 And the verdict is? 503 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,200 But I like this. It's got nice fizz to it. 504 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,040 It's just... It's really refreshing. 505 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:25,320 I can't believe it! I am really beginning to enjoy myself. 506 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,200 Do you want some? Best perry I've had today. 507 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,520 He thinks it's the best perry he's had today. 508 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,680 In Kent, we say this tastes proper. 509 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,120 Yeah, it does taste proper. 510 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,760 Can you tell where they come from? 511 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,400 Who crushed 'em? Did you crush them? Shall we tell you who crushed 'em? 512 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,120 Who crushed 'em? Babycham. 513 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:48,080 THEY LAUGH 514 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,080 Shoot me down. I don't want it any more. 515 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,960 Can't tell you how happy that's made me. 516 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,160 Who wants some more Babycham? 517 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:03,720 Maybe they've been swayed by Hugh's irresistible charm and effortless authority. 518 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,520 Yeah, he'd love to smile, yeah. 519 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,200 'I think I've proved my point.' 520 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,040 Now, any self-respecting cider festival 521 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,120 must also include that well known pastime - pig racing. 522 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:18,080 The noise reminds me of you after you've finished dinner. 523 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,560 'I'll get my own back. I think I fancy the red head.' 524 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,040 Terry. Terry. Now listen to me. 525 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,720 I'm just trying to assert myself over the pig. 526 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:31,280 You ready? Right, so it's up and down and first one back to the pig pen. 527 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,360 With a bucketful of apples. Easy. Go! 528 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,800 Brilliant. Oz Clark eats dirt. 529 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,600 Let's see that again! 530 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,160 Oh, please. So predictable! 531 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,720 Just enjoy it. You prostrate in front of a pig. 532 00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,080 THEME FROM "CHARIOTS OF FIRE" PLAYS 533 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,440 Yes, yes. Well, back to the race. 534 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,160 And my pig takes it by a nose. 535 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,280 All that for nothing. 536 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,760 All right, Hugh. You win. God. 537 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,520 I'll buy you a drink. 538 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,400 Lovely view, eh? 539 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,680 Fantastic view. Here you are, old chap. 540 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:31,640 Your drink. 541 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,360 Don't look at me like that. That is your drink. 542 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,800 Thank you very much. That's very kind of you. 543 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,480 I drink your health. Was it expensive? A third of a pint. 544 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,320 It seemed if you were starting, I'd better get you a starter's glass. 545 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,200 Is there a model village or something round here? 546 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:55,000 Do you know term pub only started being used in the 19th century? 547 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,400 And yet the public house is where pubs come from. 548 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,360 A woman would brew some ale and to make a few pence, 549 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,320 she would then put a broom outside her door 550 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,200 and that was the first pub sign. 551 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,480 And travellers would know that if there was a broom outside the door, 552 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:13,080 that that lady had some ale which she'd brewed for sale. 553 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:14,560 What's the connection? 554 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:18,160 Like saying, "I sell vegetables, I'm going to put a penguin out front." 555 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,240 That is as ridiculous. 556 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:25,720 No, it's not, because there weren't any penguins in the 8th century in England. 557 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,400 There weren't any vegetables. There was very little. 558 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,160 A penguin isn't a vegetable. What are you talking about? 559 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:32,880 There weren't any penguins? 560 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,680 You're just trying to use your massive intellect on confusing me. 561 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,480 You're the one who's drunk faster than I have. 562 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,000 You said there weren't any penguins, there weren't any vegetables. 563 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,440 I said there weren't either. There were neither. 564 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,320 Do you know whether... 565 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,120 It was the Dark Ages. 566 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:54,120 For 500 years, nothing happened, people didn't have things. 567 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,760 It was very cold. 568 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,800 It was. I've got the giggles. 569 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,240 You just don't want to learn, do you? 570 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,760 I know things. 571 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,040 OK, so far, we've got beer for the chaps, 572 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,960 and my mass-produced perry drink for the ladies. Not in my bar! 573 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,720 What if our customers want something, you know, a bit classier? 574 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,360 Champagne? 575 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,520 That's not exactly British, is it? Where are you taking me? 576 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,520 'The vineyard at Nyetimber.' 577 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:31,400 This may seem to you like the depths of Sussex woodland, 578 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:37,360 but this soil is exactly the same soil as the soil in Champagne. 579 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,720 As we come out at the top here, look at that! 580 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,600 These guys here have been making a sparkling wine 581 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,680 in exactly the same way as champagne 582 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,720 from exactly the same grape varieties, 583 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,840 which has been sweeping the board 584 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,280 and beating the French at their own game. 585 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,920 Meet Brad and Cheri - a pair of crafty Canadians 586 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,760 who produce this world-class British bubbly. 587 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,840 Cheers, guys. Cheers. Thank you. 588 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:08,720 Here's to the British vintage of 2010. 589 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,560 I let Oz taste, then he tells me what I should think. 590 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:16,000 Jolly nice. And then I say something roughly the same. Very nice. 591 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,280 And it has bubbles I've noticed. Excellent. 592 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:22,240 He's a slow learner but, you know... Getting there! 593 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,720 The only reason I would say it wasn't champagne 594 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,120 is cos it's actually too good. 595 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,640 That's the only reason. Well, we're pleased to hear that. 596 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,480 The French sparkling wine industry is based on the same soil. 597 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,320 What is the temperature difference? 598 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,880 So how much hotter does England have to get? 599 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,240 The Champagne region is less than a degree Centigrade, 600 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:47,360 and in the last 20 years, we have warmed up by at least a degree, 601 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:50,520 so we are now, our temperature now is sort of like 602 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,440 the Champagne temperature would have been at the end of the 1980s. 603 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,560 Yeah. When they made some wonderful champagne. 604 00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:02,320 You make wine sparkle by creating a second fermentation inside the bottle. 605 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,240 This leaves a sediment of dead yeast cells 606 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,800 which needs to be removed by "degorgement". 607 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,640 So, the trick is to lift the neck of the bottle up 608 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,880 and remove the cap at exactly the same time, 609 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:15,960 so that the air bubble, with pressure, 610 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,760 pushes the yeast out of the bottle leaving only the clear wine behind. 611 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:21,200 One, two, three. 612 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:23,640 Not bad. 613 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:28,520 I think that the person who actually spills the least wine 614 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:32,360 actually gets the chance to choose Nyetimber for the pub. 615 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,840 'And now for a degorgement masterclass.' 616 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,480 I'm going to put that like that, 617 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,120 I'm going to pull and... 618 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,360 I've only lost about half a bottle. 619 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,400 I was a bit slow on the thumb. 620 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,160 Right, so just checking, 621 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,040 if I do better than you I can choose to have this stuff for the pub? 622 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,320 That's the deal. 623 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,600 I feel like I've won a grand prix or something. 624 00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,000 OK, fair's fair. The choice is yours. 625 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,840 I will have Nyetimber for the pub. 626 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,560 Oh, the humiliation! 627 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,320 Well, that's another great British drink for my bar. 628 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,080 OK, you won. 629 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:31,960 But it's not all about drink. 630 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,160 We need to think about entertainment, too. 631 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,240 Where do you stand on the pub game then? I think it's like... 632 00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:39,800 Do you like Devil Amongst the Tailors, for instance? 633 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,440 I've no idea what it is. Sounds good. 634 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,680 What happens? I'm trying to remember. 635 00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,720 OZ GUFFAWS 636 00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:49,760 Bat and Trap, that's pretty good. 637 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,520 That's a Kent game. 638 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,200 Ring the Bull - tried that? 639 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,080 I think I would have remembered. 640 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,160 Aunt Sally. Have you played Aunt Sally? 641 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,080 You're making all this up again, aren't you? 642 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:05,160 Next, you'll tell me you've never heard of Dwile Flonking! Dwile what? 643 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,720 CHEERING 644 00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:09,960 And basically it's an ancient court game, 645 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,520 from the court of King Offer in Mercia, 646 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,400 often played to the Waverny Rules. 1585, they were invented. 647 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,880 The people round the edge are "girters". 648 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:23,280 There's someone in the middle who is actually going to be Dwile Flonking. 649 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,800 Got a swage on the end of his driveller 650 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,920 and basically he's trying to score a wanton, a morther, or a ripple. 651 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,600 Three points, two points, one point. They're starting. 652 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,520 OK, so that's clear as mud. 653 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,720 The girl in the middle stirs a sponge in beer then chucks it at the yokels, 654 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:42,760 all while a bloke dressed as the Child Catcher plays the bagpipes. 655 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,200 Just another drinking game. 656 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,840 Exactly! Now, before we can play, we've got to get into character. 657 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,880 Did I say I wanted to play? 658 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,400 Right! 659 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,000 I am completely lost. 660 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,120 Come on, Hugh, keep up. 661 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,880 Is it a rule that you have to look like one of the Wurzels? 662 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,680 Close, close. A bit yokelish, yeah. 663 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,080 Now, I usually play by the Norwich rules, but this is Lewes. 664 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,120 You call it swadger, I call it driveller. 665 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,920 So, obviously you're playing by different rules. 666 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,160 Oz is questioning the rules. He does this kind of stuff all the time. 667 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,040 WHISTLE To the right! 668 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:26,680 Now, pay attention. It's one, two or three points depending on where you hit the body. 669 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,040 WHISTLE, CHEERING 670 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,400 And what happens then? Guess. 671 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,760 Of course. It's down in one. 672 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,720 Any way you wish. And to the left. 673 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,000 Now, watch a master at work. 674 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,840 My aim is true. 675 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,240 Look. My pants are all wet. 676 00:36:56,240 --> 00:37:00,120 Yep, Oz has targeted an innocent lady in an inappropriate place. 677 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,000 We have a hesitation. 678 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,280 I didn't know I was supposed to do it. I just told you! 679 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,640 You didn't tell me when. I blew the whistle. 680 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:12,360 Two points away for Mr Clarke. Hesitation! 681 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,680 This is what you've been waiting for. 682 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:15,960 WHISTLE 683 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,120 SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT 684 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,320 WHISTLE, CHEERING 685 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,440 I'll give you that. I'm ripe for kissing. 686 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,760 I'm absolutely covered in Lewes beer. 687 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,200 Uh oh. Look out, girls! 688 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,200 Rubbish. 689 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,600 WHISTLE 690 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:38,080 I think I can get away with this. Just make like a very bad Morris dancer. 691 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,360 WHISTLE 692 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,480 Another shot to the groin! 693 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,280 There was a degree of hesitation there, but I did like the shot. 694 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,440 I got him in the BLEEP. 695 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:56,000 I think he needs to do the beer. And I think I know what comes next. 696 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,240 WHISTLE 697 00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:59,880 SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT 698 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:07,960 Suddenly, I think I feel an affectionate moment coming on. 699 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,840 'Oh, no. Not even if you are ripe for kissing.' 700 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,720 At last, a drinker is born. 701 00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:17,560 Can I say just at this moment - I've never found you less attractive 702 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,600 than I do at the moment. 703 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:23,000 So, watch closely. It's three points for the ultimate flonk - 704 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,080 that's a swage to the head from the flonker's driveller. 705 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:33,400 I think he did that on purpose. Yep, and I think I know who paid him. 706 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,800 So that's Dwile Flonking. Fancy it for our pub? 707 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,920 I think I'll stick to darts. 708 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,360 Right, Oz is sober enough to drive. 709 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,600 Although, of course, that does have its downside. 710 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,680 OK, left hand side of the road - perfect, brilliant. 711 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,720 Now, this'll be a test. How wide am I? 712 00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:57,600 Oh! Was that close? Well, was it or not? 713 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:02,680 Yes. Because that's what I need to know. Here, I'll slow down and nothing will happen. 714 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:06,760 Slow down for him because he's a car. I know, but I did miss that van. 715 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:10,720 You think it was your skill that enabled that van not to hit you, whereas in fact... 716 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:16,480 He's sitting in a ditch at the moment, wondering who that that Dutch lunatic is. 717 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:20,680 We've already gathered some excellent British drinks for our pub, 718 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,520 but we've been missing a trick. 719 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,560 Britain is a nation of home brewers. 720 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,240 Are we covered if we poison our customers? 721 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:32,320 We won't. For one morning only, it's the home brewing roadshow! 722 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,600 That bloke on the left looks like a home brewer. 723 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:39,880 Fred and Dolly Freebury have an orchard in Somerset and they make their own cider. 724 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,600 What was your inspiration to start brewing, then? 725 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,200 The apples were going to waste and it just seemed... 726 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,760 The natural thing to do was to turn it into cider. 727 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:51,800 Took the bits out of an old washing machine, built it up. It chops the apples up nice. 728 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,680 I've got high hopes of your Old Gutrot. 729 00:39:56,240 --> 00:39:59,600 I think that's a remarkably sophisticated cider. 730 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,200 Really? You can really smell the orchard in it, 731 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,120 and that lovely sense of autumn. 732 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:08,480 But it is very, very drinkable. He's a very good judge, cos of his complete ignorance. 733 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,480 I find my enormous knowledge gets in the way. 734 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,920 I'm learning. So does he. 735 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:16,160 The oldest known drink in Britain is mead - 736 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,840 a fortified liquor made from honey. 737 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:22,520 Meet Ian Kinnon, Britain's most modern mead maker. 738 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:27,160 That slips down really quickly and then it hits the back of your throat and you go... 739 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:30,160 Mead was the warrior's drink. Yes. It's the oldest drink there is. 740 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,440 It's pre-Celtic almost. 741 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:36,320 It's certainly Celtic. I think it goes back 6-7,000 years, they think. 742 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:40,240 Goes back forever. Yeah. Are there commercial meads? There are, yes. 743 00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:46,000 I used to use them a lot as a student. For reasons I don't even want to discuss with you. 744 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:50,520 Mead and incense was my recipe for success. 745 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,160 That's a very nice drink. 746 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:56,880 Is that getting you in the back of the throat? It is. So it should. That's the alcohol. 747 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,640 14% alcohol will get you there. 748 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:03,920 I think that mead is a really lovely example of kind of drink we never see nowadays. 749 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,800 Brilliant. Thank you very much indeed. Thanks for that. 750 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:13,480 And finally, music technology lecturer Doug Rouxel, who brews traditional bitter in his study. 751 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,400 What have you got for us? Just a bitter. 752 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,840 It's got a really nice honeyed, malty quality. 753 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,640 Tastes very good, don't you think? 754 00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,480 It's delicious. 755 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,840 It's, like, proper, isn't it? It's delicious. Now, are you using a kit for this? 756 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,000 No, this is all grain, so from scratch. 757 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:40,640 You make a real, proper beer. Refreshing and bright and... 758 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,040 Nutty. Stop it. 759 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,680 Intense. Stop it! 760 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:51,480 I'm so pleased with these beers. I'm getting this idea that we might even be able to have 761 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,880 a home brew section in my side of the bar. 762 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,360 Your side as well, if you want. 763 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,800 We've got to make a choice, haven't we? Do we take one, two or three? 764 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,920 I really don't know. That doesn't surprise me. 765 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:12,120 Actually, it is time we divvied up the drinks for the pub, starting with the mead. 766 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:19,560 I don't mind it, but my feeling is that unless Friar Tuck 767 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,560 comes into the pub, it's not going to be a big seller. 768 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,200 I like this. I think these home brewers were fantastic. 769 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:30,440 This was the other home brew. I do think that is a remarkable achievement. So do I. 770 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,680 So, how are we going to decide, then? 771 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:39,000 Well, OK. We've got the mead and the beer. We've got one each. 772 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,040 Yeah, but you've already got mead, so I get that. 773 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,240 That was a really useless piece of negotiating. 774 00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:48,680 Let's see what else we've got. Ah, yes. 775 00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:53,000 Jellyfish beer, offal beer are mine 776 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,240 because I recognised offal in the beer, at Sharps, didn't I? 777 00:42:57,240 --> 00:43:00,320 You didn't. That was the deal. 778 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,160 Hey, I was within that much of getting it right. 779 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,480 I was just about to tell you what kind of liver was in it. 780 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,400 I was. What kind of liver was it? 781 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,120 I can't remember. 782 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,320 Grandma's Weapons Grade ginger beer. 783 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:17,200 I don't think it'll sell. It's nice. I just can't see anybody wanting it. 784 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:22,480 You're going on, "I don't think it's going to sell," you and your sort of brand orientation. 785 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,120 I'm going on what I think will be really good to give 786 00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:29,360 the customers on my side of the bar pleasure. A treat. 787 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:33,680 OK, I'll have it. What'll give my customers pleasure on my side of the bar 788 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,920 is seeing your customers on your side of the bar drinking that. 789 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,520 Very clever. Right, what next? 790 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,560 Ah, now this is good. That's mine. 791 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:45,440 Cos I won the degorgement competition. 792 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,520 Is that what it's called, degorgement? 793 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,160 Now that you've learnt the term. 794 00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:55,320 Oh, ha-ha! My negotiation techniques have suddenly got better. I'm having this. 795 00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:02,120 That's not a technique, a negotiation, saying, "I'm having that." Then it'll suit me fine. 796 00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:06,520 Are we going to see more cider? Might do. 797 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,120 OK, you have that. And we've done all these. 798 00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,400 Where are we going next? Ah, next. 799 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:17,000 Somewhere small, artisan, rustic. 800 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,080 You'll like it. 801 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,920 London. The Thames. Isn't it fantastic! 802 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,480 It is fantastic, but what has it got to do with beer 803 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:40,040 apart from being roughly the same colour as quite a lot of the stuff you've forced me to drink? 804 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:46,000 Cynic, cynic! The great modern beer styles were invented in London. 805 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,480 London at one time was the largest brewing capital in the world, 806 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:54,120 and the reason that London was so important was trade and the Industrial Revolution. 807 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:59,560 And two incredibly important types of beer were invented on the Thames here. 808 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:04,040 One was Dark Porter, and one was India Pale Ale. 809 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,400 The stronger style of porter was called stout. 810 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,160 In fact, Guinness in Ireland is a stout. 811 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,720 You'd never have Guinness if they hadn't invented porter here. 812 00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:16,160 We're taking the boat down to Greenwich. 813 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:20,280 The Meantime Brewery is reviving the whole idea of brewing down there 814 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,480 and - you're going to like this - they're brewing lager. 815 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,680 They're reinventing proper lager. 816 00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:31,240 I'm going to prove to Hugh that lager doesn't have to be tasteless foreign muck. 817 00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:34,240 Just because it's foreign doesn't mean it's rubbish. 818 00:45:34,240 --> 00:45:38,040 No, but we can compete with the best when it comes to really good lager, 819 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:42,760 and Peter Haydon, director of the Meantime Brewery, is going to help me prove my point. 820 00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:48,240 One of these is brewed by Peter at Meantime, 821 00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:51,600 the other three are international brands. 822 00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,800 I want you to taste these four beers, 823 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,800 and tell me which one you like best. 824 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,280 'Have I taught him anything?' 825 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,400 Sniffing, I've learnt that. Yep, good. 826 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:07,640 Can't work out whether you'll be happy or disturbed. 827 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,040 It doesn't really taste of anything. Doesn't taste of anything. 828 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:14,280 'Hopefully that was a foreign lager. Beer number two. 829 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:19,480 'Come on, Hugh. Don't let me down.' 830 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:21,600 Taste of anything? Mm. 831 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,000 'Lager number three. 832 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:30,200 'This, ladies and gentlemen, is what is called the Dennis poker face. 833 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:35,360 'Now, the last lager - the future of beer as we know it is at stake.' 834 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,720 Which do I prefer? Yep. 835 00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:45,120 That one's got far more taste than any of the others, 836 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,160 and I think I prefer that one. 837 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,640 Peter, tell us what we've got. 838 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:54,120 Cheers. London Lager by Meantime Brewery. Hey! 839 00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:59,200 You are learning. The other three are brands which are just about brands, 840 00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,440 and this is a beer which is about tasting good. 841 00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:04,080 Peter, why is it better? 842 00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:08,480 Because it's made properly. The word lager is the German word for store. 843 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,200 To lager a beer is to mature it, 844 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:15,680 and the big guys have decided the best way to make profit 845 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:19,520 is to cut the maturation time and cut and cut and cut, so there's none left. 846 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:23,360 Just down to a day or two? Yes. How long have you matured that for? 847 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,720 This is at least 28 days' maturation. 848 00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:28,240 I hate to have fallen into your trap. 849 00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:34,800 I'm delighted. I'm delighted. I am, cos I think your tastebuds are waking up. 850 00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,720 'Maybe, but the rest of me wants to go to sleep.' 851 00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:44,840 Right, next stop? The drink London's always been most famous for - gin. 852 00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,600 And a truly local distiller. 853 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,880 I actually haven't... actually been here. 854 00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:56,200 I've got a map here of South Devon, 855 00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,520 Brixham to Newton Ferrers, that's it. 856 00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:03,840 I tell you what, next road down, Jilly Goolden used to live in it when I first met her. 857 00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,280 You don't know where she lives now? Has she told you? 858 00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:10,040 No. She's trying to avoid me! 859 00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:18,200 Now, somewhere round her lies a custom-made, copper pot still in a converted garage. 860 00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,200 Ah-ha! 861 00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:25,200 Workplace of Sam Galsworthy a man as smooth as his gin. 862 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,920 Come on in. This is where the magic happens. Cor! 863 00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:36,000 'Behold Prudence - incredibly, London's first custom-made gin still for 189 years. 864 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:40,360 'This young lady transforms water from the source of the Thames into gin, 865 00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:45,880 'with only a little help from juniper berries, crushed almonds, orange peel and liquorice root.' 866 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:50,920 The key bit we're at now. All the botanicals, apart from the citrus, which we'll put in in a second, 867 00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:54,320 went in last night. So we have a 12-hour maceration. 868 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,800 So what I'd love to do now is invite you to add 869 00:48:56,800 --> 00:49:00,240 those last two botanicals, the orange peel and the lemon peel. 870 00:49:00,240 --> 00:49:03,600 Pull that back over there. Open it up. Should be a wonderful waft 871 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:07,160 of a 12-hour maceration. It's fantastic! Isn't it great? 872 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,240 I'll lob some Seville orange in. 873 00:49:09,240 --> 00:49:12,040 I should probably have chosen some lemon. 874 00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,240 There you go, close it up. 875 00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:18,120 That's Prudence fully loaded up. 876 00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,360 Now, come on here and let's turn her on. 877 00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,280 Swirling around, and heating up. 878 00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:23,760 Just mild heat at the bottom. 879 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,520 This is the beginning of something very, very special. 880 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:30,120 What'll happen in a minute is a wonderful white vociferous bubble 881 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:34,240 will occur and that is the alcohol turning from a liquid to a vapour. 882 00:49:34,240 --> 00:49:38,880 And what'll happen is it'll rise up through this helmet, up through the swan's neck, 883 00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:43,480 their vapours will run right away along that overhead pipe, down into the condenser. 884 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:47,840 This is colder, then? This is actually for the vodka, cos we make a gin and a vodka. 885 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:51,440 That's got nothing to do with it? It doesn't. Nothing to do with it. 886 00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:56,720 That's the condenser and that's just got a coil in. Full marks. Yeah. 887 00:49:56,720 --> 00:49:59,600 You are such a kind marker. This is only used for vodka. 888 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:04,440 This is the condenser, which has a coil in it. 889 00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:08,080 I might apply for a job on Blue Peter at the end of this. 890 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,520 It might be the only option left for me. 891 00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,840 You can always get a job at Sipsmith. We'll be glad to have you. 892 00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,760 Is this a tradition which has been completely lost, small-scale distilling? 893 00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:21,360 Yes, I think in all honesty it has. The bigger guys have got bigger, 894 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:25,160 and for us it was all about reintroducing the sense of craftsmanship. 895 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:28,000 Everything that we do here is essentially done by hand. 896 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,680 It's all hand crafted, there are no major pipes, 897 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:35,880 there's no huge buttons, you know, we have two incredible distillers on hand that really work. 898 00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,480 Well, thank God we're here. 899 00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,240 Substitute for the day. 900 00:50:40,240 --> 00:50:44,040 And if you have a good look in there, you can see a wonderful vociferous. 901 00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,920 It's all foaming. Energetic boil. 902 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:47,240 And here we go, guys. 903 00:50:47,240 --> 00:50:50,560 This is the heads of the gin coming over here. Let's go. 904 00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:53,040 Got it. So, that's closing, move that, 905 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:56,280 take that away and put that on, wait, lift that up, 906 00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,760 hold that up for me, I've got to tear the weight, perfect. 907 00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,520 And down it goes. 908 00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:05,920 And that is the heart cup, that's the bit that's bright and flavoursome and tasty, 909 00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,440 and these are the bits that capture the flavour. 910 00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:12,560 'Sam's sounding like the back of a bottle again. But now for the taste test.' 911 00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,880 It's creamy, isn't it? 912 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,160 It's richer in the mouth. 913 00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,840 A lot of commercial gin is rather thin in the mouth. 914 00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:28,640 That citrus thing is most evident, isn't it? It's amazing you get that just from those four bits of peel 915 00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,800 and yet, having been distilled, you can still get it. 916 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,840 REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS Sam also makes vodka in his still 917 00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,720 and I've got my eye on both his spirits for my bar. 918 00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:41,120 Um, why the reggae music? 919 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:44,600 Because our final port of call in London is Cottons' Rhum Shack 920 00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:48,240 for another great British spirit for our pub. 921 00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:50,280 But rum is not British, is it? 922 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:54,720 Yeah, rum is British. Rum is fundamentally British. 923 00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:56,960 The British Navy ran on rum. 924 00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,560 Basically, the British Navy had a tot of rum every single day, 925 00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:04,280 every single sailor until about 40 years ago. 926 00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,840 Rum is a British drink. It is not a British drink. 927 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,720 Hugh, we'll prove it in here. 928 00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:19,880 'We're here to meet Ian Burrell, rum expert and all-round dude.' 929 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:20,920 How you doing, guys? 930 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,800 'What this man doesn't know about rum wouldn't even fill a shot glass.' 931 00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,840 Welcome to my little Rhum Shack. 932 00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:28,880 I've never seen so many rums in my life. 933 00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:33,520 We've got a few. There's rums from all over the world. Which type of rum would you like? 934 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:36,560 Ah, now could you make us two glasses of grog? 935 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:41,040 I haven't had anyone ask for a grog for a long time. Two grogs coming up. Two grogs, please. 936 00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:44,560 No-one drinks grog. I thought everyone would know grog. 937 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:48,400 Why? It's because it's this famous drink. 938 00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:53,640 The British Navy used to all have half a pint of rum a day, about 80% alcohol. 939 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:57,080 Eventually Admiral Vernon said everyone was getting too hammered 940 00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:01,440 and he said, "You're going to have to serve the grog watered down," 941 00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,200 and the way they did it was put water with it. 942 00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:07,640 That is basically how you do water things down. 943 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:11,320 One of the key components of watering things down is to add water. 944 00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:15,920 You must have been a real pain in the neck at school. I was. Not the neck. No. 945 00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:20,880 Two grogs for you. Thank you very much. This should warm you up. Thank you. 946 00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:24,120 Cheers. Splice the main brace. 947 00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:25,720 Splice the main brace. 948 00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:31,200 Do you see how the drink would have been good, though? Basically just rum, water, 949 00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,840 lime, either with or without sugar. 950 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:35,680 It's not a British drink though, is it? 951 00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,040 Oh, no. It's definitely a British drink. Rum is a British drink? 952 00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:42,120 Of course. The actual ingredients were British. 953 00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:46,040 The Brits were the first to start blending rum and made it a commercially viable product. 954 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:51,120 They blended rums, sold it around the world, took it from all the colonies, it's definitely British. 955 00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:56,200 'Oh, dear. OK, Oz wins the argument, but the problem is, when Oz is right, he becomes overconfident 956 00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:59,000 'and when that happens he can't help but take people on.' 957 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,920 Don't go against me, it'd be unfair, but maybe challenge my bartender 958 00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:05,840 and see if you can make a better cocktail than he can. 959 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,560 You up for the challenge, Jules? 960 00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:12,200 Yeah, yeah. I'll take over and you challenge these guys. Please don't let Oz make a cocktail. 961 00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:13,520 Is he that bad, is he? 962 00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:19,320 If he went to a boxing match, if he met Klitschko, for example, he would give him boxing tips. 963 00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,640 Well, I know a bit about it. You don't. 964 00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:29,720 'The stakes are high. It's master rum mixer Jules versus Oz, who grew up in Kent 965 00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:34,360 'and would call drinking a can of Lilt a genuine Caribbean experience. 966 00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,840 'Oh, dear.' 967 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:42,520 'He looks like he really means business. Luckily I have the full support of my team-mate.' 968 00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:49,200 My prediction would be that we will lose so badly we have to run all the way to the station. 969 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:50,440 'And we're off. 970 00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:56,120 'Jules is doing a classic reggae rum punch. Look at that technique. 971 00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,800 'Whereas our technique is looking like we don't have any technique.' 972 00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:03,200 Something simple, OK? Can you give us your best tropical juice? 973 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:05,960 I really love lychee juice. 974 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:10,360 'Lychee juice! What, Caribbean cocktails as drunk in Beijing?' 975 00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:14,960 You want grenadine? Shall we put some rum in, seeing as that's what the cocktail's based on? 976 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:18,800 Look at the way Jules does that. Yeah, that's excellent. 977 00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,920 'Jules adds orange, pineapple juice and grenadine to his rum.' 978 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,160 'What, no lychee juice then?' 979 00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,400 Passionfruit. Passionfruit, sure. 980 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:31,760 Passionfruit. It needs more rum. No, it doesn't need any more rum. 981 00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:34,920 Raspberries! Raspberries, yeah. 982 00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:37,360 Ice. Ice. 983 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,000 Oh, hello! 984 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:43,800 'With the Rhum Shack's honour at stake, Jules pulls out all the stops.' 985 00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,320 Champagne. 986 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:52,000 'And, judging by Ian's face, it looks like Oz has just ruined any chance we ever had of winning.' 987 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:55,760 Stir a tiny little bit of... I think we could release that on the public. 988 00:55:55,760 --> 00:56:00,760 'So, the mixing is over and its time to find out if Oz has managed the improbable. 989 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:05,840 'Jules' punch has the straws, and ours doesn't. 990 00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:09,240 'Now, Ian tries them on his customers.' 991 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,640 'It could be the last time he ever sees them.' 992 00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,560 Prefer the one with the straw, yeah? 993 00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:19,480 That one's easier to drink. You prefer that one? Yeah. 994 00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:21,800 I'm sure I said a sip! 995 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,480 'It's not looking good.' 996 00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:27,920 I think this is a contender, I put in some champagne on the top of it. I just thought... 997 00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:31,040 Prefer the one with the straw? Ooh, 4-2 to the straws. 998 00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:35,080 I like the one without the straw. You like the one without the straw, you like with the straw? 999 00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,480 She's finishing it. 1000 00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,880 Yeah, she's finishing it. 1001 00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,760 Yeah, the one without the straw. 1002 00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:46,200 'Could this be a comeback? To the results!' 1003 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:52,800 Listen, listen. OK, guys, with six votes we had Jules. 1004 00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:59,000 I can't believe this - and with seven votes, we have Oz and Hugh's. 1005 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,400 CHEERING 1006 00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:07,000 Where's Jules? How are you, mate? Bottle of rum. 1007 00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,600 He's making another one. 1008 00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:17,200 I think we should all celebrate and have a bit more Rum Shack fun with a little limbo dancing. 1009 00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:20,120 CHEERING Not us. 1010 00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:23,240 I think the winners should be going first. Oh, no! 1011 00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,800 Tradition, tradition! 1012 00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:30,600 'There we have it. We've won, and we both deserve rum for our pub. 1013 00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:38,080 'And maybe you actually do know what you're talking about. 1014 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:39,600 'Stick with me, son!' 1015 00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:45,920 If that's not British, it should be. 1016 00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:47,360 And we won! 1017 00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,160 We won, ha! 1018 00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:51,600 We won, oh, we won. 1019 00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,280 So the South has ended on a high. 1020 00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:58,400 We've started stocking our competing bars and it's only just begun. 1021 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,560 If you're going to do it, hang on. 1022 00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,520 Next time we cross British borders to Scotland and Ireland. 1023 00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:10,680 It's off to the Inner Hebrides and Easdale Island's most popular, and only, pub. Slainte mhor. 1024 00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,600 Slainte mhor. 1025 00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:15,800 Oz's Irish roots prove no help at all. 1026 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:20,080 Do you know the difference between Irish and Scots whisky? Well, I'm almost trying, 1027 00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,720 can't bloody get to see... Didn't understand a word he said. 1028 00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:27,520 And Hugh takes a beating when I discover a smashing traditional pub game. 1029 00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:40,160 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 1030 00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:43,000 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk