1
00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,320
Mini breaks are a swirling
nebula of nonsense.

2
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,040
 How can anyone go somewhere new

3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,760
and be expected to enjoy themselves
without a decade to decompress.

4
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,360
With no idea where to go,
how to eat or what to do,

5
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,440
 it's impossible to stop

6
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,840
the whole thing turning
into a monumental fudge up!

7
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,360
But do not tether yourself to a rack
and rend yourself asunder.

8
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,840
 With no mandate whatsoever,

9
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,800
I, a weak man, containing some of
the key elements of Richard Ayoade

10
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,360
 have come to your aid.

11
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,280
Accompanied by a whole quiver
of well-known faces,

12
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:35,280
I am going to take you hurtling
through a foolproof maxi-mini break.

13
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:39,880
 This is travel without mercy.

14
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,960
 Tonight, 48 Hours In Copenhagen,

15
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,960
the most visited destination
in Scandinavia.

16
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,960
The style-saturated Danish
capital has been voted Europe's most

17
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,160
green city and is the home
of Nordic Noir.

18
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,880
And to be the Cagney to my Lacey,
is amateur wrestler

19
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,520
 and comedian, Noel Fielding.

20
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,840
A friend of mine got touched up
on a ghost train once.

21
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,240
Together we will aggressively
examine national cuisine...

22
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,000
Whey!

23
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,080
Whoo!

24
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,920
 ..descend into the underworld...

25
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,000
This is where they used
to shower in the '80s.

26
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,760
..and cop a cup of cultural
enrichment.

27
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,640
Where the BLEEP is Mike?

28
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,680
As we take
you on a weekend away

29
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,240
based on the summary of events
you've just heard.

30
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:23,240
We're here, but should we have come?

31
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,800
If time is your ally, a bod can get
the train to Copenhagen via

32
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,680
Brussels, thus careering through
a couple of capitals.

33
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,920
Or travelling by car
and ferry can give a cat many

34
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,200
multiples of perambulatory
permutations.

35
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,320
But we don't have time to dawdle or
conserve the world's dwindling

36
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:44,920
fuel supplies,
so we're going by plane.

37
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,080
They call me the Gothic Elvis.

38
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,960
Suspicious Minds. I look a bit like
Elvis but, unfortunately,

39
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,800
it's the bit just before he died.

40
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:56,320
When he was loaded up on burgers and
bad dreams. Yeah!

41
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:57,920
Obviously, you didn't get my memo,

42
00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,080
I wanted to go to Hawaii. Why are
we going to Copenhagen?

43
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:05,080
 Well, I'll tell you why.

44
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,800
Copenhagen is the capital of Denmark.

45
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,880
With a population of just
under two mill,

46
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,200
Copenhagen is the largest
city in Scandinavia and,

47
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,920
according to the massively chillaxed
dudes at Lonely Planet,

48
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,080
 the coolest.

49
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,000
You have Copenhagen to
thank for Hans Christian Andersen,

50
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,720
Sandi Toksvig, Lego, the pedal bin

51
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,880
and my old adversary,
the pH scale.

52
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,400
And if that wasn't enough to make
you sick to the middle,

53
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,080
the city top UN charts for the
happiest place on Earth!

54
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:36,080
A weekend in the Danish capital
will cost around £257,

55
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,520
a figure we may well exceed
through arrogance.

56
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:44,520
After a frankly unfilmable airport
transfer, we rock up at our digs.

57
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,080
This is delightful.

58
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,080
Welcome to Hotel Alexandra
and welcome to Copenhagen.

59
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,600
 Located in central Copenhagen,

60
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,600
the Hotel Alexandra is dense
with Danish design classics.

61
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,080
The rooms also act as a short-term
storage solution

62
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,840
 for the TV series Mad Men.

63
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,240
Nice.

64
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,640
I'm very happy with this.

65
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:10,640
The entire affair
is a mid-century triumph.

66
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,040
 What are you doing?

67
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,240
Are you tarrying in mid-century
Danish modernism?

68
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,000
What did I tell you about tarrying
amongst mid-century pieces?

69
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,640
I'm just enjoying the tiny chairs.

70
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,560
We've got 48 hours
to wrap this shiz up.

71
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,480
 Like Murphy and Nolte before us.

72
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,880
This was going to be a holiday

73
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,880
not one of your weird,
anally-retentive fright fests.

74
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,880
HE CHUCKLES

75
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,320
Copenhagen's committed
cadre of cyclers

76
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,720
clock up 1.3 million kilometres
a day.

77
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,640
So taken are we with this statistic,
we've decided to get our

78
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,960
spoke game tight and join one of the
city's most popular tours.

79
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,560
The bikes are very simple.

80
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,040
 Our guide is Mike,

81
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,760
who's motto is, "If I am going too
fast then you're on the wrong tour,"

82
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,040
which doesn't sound like
it's going to catch on as a motto.

83
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,080
Kick stand, you pull it down.

84
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,480
Held by left, bike falls over.

85
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,480
Even time bike goes down - trouble.

86
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,640
Three gears on the bikes,
look here.

87
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,480
One, two, three -
little handle here.

88
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,880
If you pedal push
and change gear at the same time,

89
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,440
you screw up the gear system.
We have a lot of trouble.

90
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,440
Mike The Bike
does not like trouble.

91
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,560
If the kerb hits the front wheel,
you know what happens.

92
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,240
 Trouble?

93
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,080
Folks - we're leaving.
Come on.

94
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:33,080
Come on, you need to keep up with
Mike The Bike. Mike's not waiting.

95
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,360
 Where's Mike The Bike gone?

96
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,880
He's gone.
He didn't wait.

97
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,320
Mike waits for no man.

98
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,720
I'll tell you what
Mike doesn't like.

99
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,040
 Is trouble. Trouble.

100
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,000
THEY LAUGH

101
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,560
We can only hope against hope to
find Mike before he tears past

102
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,000
 Copenhagen University,

103
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,480
 the Danish Design Museum,

104
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,560
the Secret Service
and the Little Mermaid.

105
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,960
Where the BLEEP is Mike?

106
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,360
 Where...? Mike!

107
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,600
 Where's Mike The Bike?

108
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,680
 Mike The Bike has gone.

109
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,680
I'm getting the feeling
he does NOT want us on his tour.

110
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:13,680
'After desperately wheeling past some
of Copenhagen's leading sights...'

111
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,840
Oh, he's over there.

112
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,840
'..we catch up with Mike at
the medieval Copenhagen University,

113
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,320
'one of the oldest
in Northern Europe.'

114
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:25,360
This is beautiful.

115
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,240
Back in old times here in Denmark,
we Danish Viking,

116
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,040
you from somewhere else
in the world,

117
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,880
I would kill all the men,
rape the women,

118
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,240
steal all your belongings and burn
down anything that was left over.

119
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,200
Surely they'd mention that
on TripAdvisor.

120
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,560
Come on, folks.

121
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,320
He hates us.

122
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,400
 Where's Mike?

123
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,480
Mike has left us for dead
once more.

124
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,400
'Sadly Mike The Bike,
like his Viking ancestors before him,

125
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,360
'is on an unstoppable rampage
of forward momentum,

126
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,000
'leaving us languishing in his wake.

127
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,640
 'Furious at our betrayal,

128
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,600
'we abandon the tour and power on
to its last stop on our tod.'

129
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,920
Why? Because we simply could not have
lived with ourselves had

130
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,600
we not seen what must be
described as a statue

131
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,840
of Hans Christian Andersen's
The Little Mermaid.

132
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:15,240
This is the most visited
attraction in Denmark.

133
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,600
She's quite beautiful.

134
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:20,480
I'm not saying I'd get off with her,
but she's quite attractive.

135
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,600
It's quite a bleak backdrop. Yeah.

136
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,960
It's a bit like the end
of Get Carter. Yes.

137
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,720
Yeah, like Newcastle! I wonder what
Mike The Bike would have to say?

138
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,720
In sore need of chow to help
fuel our epoch-defining quest,

139
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,760
 it's time for smorrebrod.

140
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,720
Who would dare call themselves
a person if they went to

141
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,680
Copenhagen without trying
a traditional Danish open sandwich?

142
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,120
These smorrebrods
are the melon farming bomb.

143
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,000
I'm taking Noel to Aamanns Deli,
which is rated by tyre manufacturers

144
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,080
Michelin as the top place
to try them.

145
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,960
Get involved. Yeah.

146
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,600
Are we going to sit side-by-side?
Yeah.

147
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,960
That's how you always
sit in a cafe, isn't it?

148
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,480
 So you can check the exits.

149
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,480
I've pre-ordered some stuff
so we don't have to have

150
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,000
 two interactions.

151
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,720
'Some fascist decided that smorrebrod
has to be eaten left to right

152
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,120
'and washed down with
a glass of schnapps.'

153
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,240
It's very pleasingly put together.

154
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,280
I might just varnish it
and wear it like a pirate's hat.

155
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,280
Would you like to know
what you're having?

156
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,080
 I would like that.

157
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,360
So for you,
you have the beetroot puree.

158
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,840
The next one is the pork. Yes.

159
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,560
With pear. OK.

160
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,400
And the next one is the rump.
The rump.

161
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,400
It looks beautiful.
Thank you very much. Enjoy.

162
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,880
 Gosh. Wow!

163
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:39,520
Subway could certainly learn
something. Presentation? Yeah.

164
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,680
Oh, wow!

165
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,800
Wow! It's pretty...

166
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,520
 You started in the middle. Oh!

167
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,040
You go left to right like you read.
Oh, yeah.

168
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,400
 Oh... Oh.

169
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,200
I'm going to sip some schnapps.
Really? Mmm.

170
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,080
That's... I've got nothing to lose.

171
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,960
 You've got a lot to lose.

172
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,240
NOEL COUGHS

173
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,720
Whey!

174
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,760
Whoo! OK...
HE COUGHS

175
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,040
It's like Castrol GTX.

176
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,960
NOEL CHUCKLES
I'm just going to smell it.

177
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,960
Even you smelling that will mean
you'll probably leave here...

178
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,640
 I feel dizzy.

179
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,640
I've seen you drunk once.

180
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,600
It was unbelievable.

181
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,240
 What happened?

182
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:25,240
You did quite a lot of impressions
of Orson Welles. Did I?

183
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,600
Yeah. That's my go-to.

184
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,880
 I must have had a unit.

185
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,160
You were out of control.

186
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,200
 I don't know.

187
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,720
What I'd quite like now...

188
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,440
This must be an English thing,
is a hot liquid.

189
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,400
I feel like it would ease
this down. Yes.

190
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,040
Because everything is quite cold.

191
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,960
It's not a complaint,
I'm not used to eating food...

192
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,200
It sounds quite a bit
like a complaint.

193
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,600
It sounded like a complaint.
It wasn't.

194
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,600
That deafening silence that I just
heard descend upon the kitchen.

195
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,640
No...

196
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,640
That's two of their staff put their
heads into their very cold oven.

197
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,640
 They've taken it pretty hard.

198
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,920
 OK?

199
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,080
As powerful as this is, I'm full.

200
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,920
I'm going to leave this amount
because that shows I have restraint.

201
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,880
I don't want to touch this one
because it's too beautiful,

202
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,400
colour-wise.

203
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,960
 And it's raw meat.

204
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,640
Our guts full of smorrebrod,
it's time to bust.

205
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,640
Copenhagen prides itself on artistic
innovation, so we're heading to

206
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,400
one of its many contemporary
galleries to cop some culture.

207
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,960
And in order to so do
we must make like beat combo The Jam,

208
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,400
 and go underground.

209
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,120
Can I be Weller? No.

210
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,160
I don't want to be
Bruce Foxton again.

211
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:43,160
I'm always Bruce Foxton
in our Jam role play.

212
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,360
The Cisterns functioned as
Copenhagen's water reservoir

213
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,240
 until 1933.

214
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,000
 Now an exhibition space,

215
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,280
the current attraction is
an installation entitled 'H' -

216
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:58,120
an evocative tone poem
comprising 28 columns of illuminated

217
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,120
water power showering the cobbles.

218
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,480
Are these just communal showers?

219
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,400
 Yeah.

220
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,760
This is where they used to
shower in the '80s.

221
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,600
 You'd get Ian Rush in there.

222
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,320
 Jan Molby... Jan Molby's Danish?
Yeah.

223
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,280
Look how I wove it back
into Denmark.

224
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:21,280
Shall we go? I think I've taken
everything I can.

225
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,360
Fully artistically satisfied,
we press on at pace,

226
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,520
 hungry for more incident.

227
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,800
Next on my list of absolute
essentials

228
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,040
is the fifth oldest theme
park in the world.

229
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,480
 That's right. The fifth!

230
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,920
 This is Tivoli!

231
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,920
Opened in 1843, 4.4 million people
flock to Tivoli Gardens each year.

232
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,440
Heavy on the senses.
A lot of business happening here.

233
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,200
It's like being in a kaleidoscope.

234
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,680
Tivoli inspired Walt Disney's
vision of Disneyland,

235
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,760
as well as being home to the
world's third oldest roller-coaster,

236
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,760
a fact I find unbearably exciting.

237
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,480
Are you up for that? No!

238
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,440
Come on. I don't like it.
Are you sure?

239
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,240
It's a ridiculous thing to be doing
with your life,

240
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,680
men of our age.
You might even have fun.

241
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,520
That's not going to happen.
You might.

242
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,640
What, outside of a bookshop?
No.

243
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,440
The Rutschebanen is the park's
most popular ride.

244
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,240
Because there's nothing that makes
you feel more alive than being

245
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,320
strapped to a 102-year-old
falling object.

246
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,200
 Bad is happening to us.

247
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,160
 Oh!

248
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,200
A friend of mine got touched up
on a ghost train once.

249
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,680
It sort of put me off
theme parks for a while.

250
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,720
 Oh, this bit I don't need.

251
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,560
Oh, wow!

252
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,880
 Oh, no. Oh, God.

253
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,200
Oh, no!

254
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,280
Ohhhhh!

255
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,480
RICHARD SCREAMS

256
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:43,480
NOEL LAUGHS

257
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,000
 Good grief!

258
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,880
 My body's telling me...

259
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,640
NOEL LAUGHS

260
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:55,080
Oh, this is... This is horrendous.

261
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,880
It's sort of better
than I thought it was going to be.

262
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,600
 It's terrible.

263
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,560
NOEL CONTINUES LAUGHING

264
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,440
 Oh, good night!

265
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,840
Oh...

266
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,480
That's quite good.

267
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,600
Again. Good grief!

268
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,840
Again!

269
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,600
 Why? What is it?

270
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,600
Did someone specifically ask for
their stomach to feel pre-vomit.

271
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,080
Any place where a number of people
are screaming,

272
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,440
 is somewhere I try and avoid.

273
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,920
One more? No!

274
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:28,920
Come on, Inspector Gadget,
you enjoyed that. No, I'm leaving.

275
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,920
Quease levels at DEFCON,
we decide to switch gears.

276
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,440
Galoppen has been played
by Copenhageners for almost 50 years!

277
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:39,280
Do you want to go on Galoppen?
I do like Galoppen.

278
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,840
Are you ready? Here we go.

279
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:44,840
Ready, set, go.
I'm always ready for Galoppen.

280
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:49,240
This is more our speed
for gentlemen of our age.

281
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,320
 Galoppen. Come on, then.

282
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,760
 Let's get Galoppen!

283
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,800
 There we go.

284
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,920
I could spend all day
at the Galoppen table.

285
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,720
Here we go.
That's right.

286
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:04,320
 Are you in the lead?

287
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,600
Number seven wins.

288
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,520
Oh! That, my friends, is Galoppen.

289
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,560
HE LAUGHS

290
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,080
 What a game of Galoppen.

291
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,280
Your prize. Thank you.

292
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,080
 You get that token to keep.

293
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:18,000
To put on your Galoppen trophy board.

294
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,360
That's some of the best
Galoppen I've ever seen.

295
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,520
I'm so pumped with Galoppen.

296
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,760
You were Galoppen like it was
going out of style.

297
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:29,360
Call me Dr Galoppen. That's
the highlight of the entire trip.

298
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,480
'Basking in the kind of high only
Galoppen can provide,

299
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,880
'day one in Copenhagen draws
to its triumphant close.

300
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,560
 'Coming up...

301
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:38,960
 'We get massively Danish...'

302
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,240
Mmm.

303
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,880
'..we test our olfactory aptitude...'

304
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,160
I always feel smell comes across very
well on television.

305
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,560
'..and see a hidden
side of Copenhagen.'

306
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:54,000
 Funk the police.

307
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,360
We're halfway through
our guide to extract the most

308
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,440
from Copenhagen in just 48 hours.

309
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,600
We've already delved
through the city's underbelly...

310
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,480
Are these just communal showers?

311
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,400
..meandered towards the mermaid...

312
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,080
Isn't that beautiful?

313
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,920
 ..and triumphed at Tivoli.

314
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,080
I'm so pumped!

315
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,080
Day two finds our vowels aching for
the brief appeasement of breakfast,

316
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,320
and because sitting down
is for stiffs,

317
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,480
we need to cop our chow on the move.

318
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,040
Fortunately, the Danish
have a solution so good

319
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,720
 they named it after themselves.

320
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,480
You could build a sort of pastry man
out of all of this, couldn't you?

321
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,400
 Those are the eyes, mouth...

322
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,720
Have him as your wife.

323
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,080
 That could be the nose.

324
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,000
I'm very, very excited about
what's happening here.

325
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,880
Hundreds and thousands.
Yes, like a sort of space bagel.

326
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,160
St Peders, the oldest bakery
in Copenhagen,

327
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:54,160
has been serving up their popular
pastries since the 17th century,

328
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,920
 which is ages ago.

329
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,720
With 4,000 cinnamon rolls
shifted on a Wednesday alone,

330
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,560
we feel honoured to participate in
the mass consumption of baked goods.

331
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,880
 Oh, crumbs.

332
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,120
I am so happy about this.

333
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,280
Mmm!

334
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,440
I'm loving it.
I need a shot of insulin.

335
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,440
This is my favourite breakfast.
This is all I would eat. Sweets?

336
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,880
Yeah! I mean...

337
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,360
 What are you, eight?

338
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:23,360
As the glucose snakes through
our veins... I'm absolutely buzzing.

339
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,880
..we continue our desperate
digestion of Danish culture.

340
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:32,440
With our last 24 hours evaporating
like tears in hot wind,

341
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:34,840
 we plan to cross the city

342
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,000
in the most time-efficient
and green way possible.

343
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,520
 Anyone can use the bikes.

344
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,080
You just need to register online
or on the bike's tablet.

345
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,400
 Well, look, I've set up a log-in

346
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,440
which I'm very graciously
going to allow you to use.

347
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,600
Oh, no.
I know, it's the typing in. Oh, no.

348
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,880
 It's absolutely exhausting.

349
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,400
 Oh, hang on! Hey, now... Click!

350
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,320
Whoa! These are heavy.
They are really heavy.

351
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:04,320
They've got power assist
because it's so hilly, Denmark.

352
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,960
I can feel the power assist. Will it
assist me in other areas of my life?

353
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,680
 A hi-tech wheel across town

354
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,880
takes us towards a monumental
depot of Danish drinking.

355
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:19,880
This looks like a goblin
lives in here.

356
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,120
There's no-one in there.
It's this door. Oh, right.

357
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:29,640
So, what's happening? We're
going to the Carlsberg Museum. Why?

358
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,720
 I've told you why.

359
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,920
It's the "Carlsberg Ex-BEER-ience".

360
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,280
On the strength of that pun,
I've booked it.

361
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,280
Also, Carlsberg, Denmark -
let's go in.

362
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,880
The Carlsberg Brewery Museum is
housed in the original 1847 brewery

363
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:50,840
and boasts the world's largest
unopened bottle collection,

364
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,200
as well as gastronomic beer tasting.

365
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,840
And, because we so desperately
want the beer-tasting

366
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,280
 to go as well as poss,

367
00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:01,280
we decide to get our olfactory game
tight at the smelling station.

368
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,960
Toast?

369
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,480
Yeah, that's good. That smells
like you're having a stroke.

370
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,600
Malt.

371
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,480
I don't like that one.
I don't know...

372
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:13,480
That's too strong. It's like being
slapped by a tiny scented fist.

373
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:18,120
I always feel smell comes across
very well on television.

374
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,920
Prunes. I'm not sure about prunes.
I'm not sure about prunes.

375
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:28,080
That smells like old money.

376
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,800
Oh, when it smells slightly metal-ly.

377
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,960
You know when you're a child
and you suck a penny. I didn't.

378
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,760
You didn't ever do that? I was
advised against doing that...

379
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,880
 by my legal advisor.

380
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,240
Newly knighted nasal ninjas,
we move on to the tasting,

381
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:45,240
trembling with anticipation, but,
dramatically, Anders ups the ante.

382
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,240
I'm going to put you to the test,

383
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,480
see if you can identify some aromas
in these beers. Are you up for it?

384
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:54,000
Wow! I didn't realise it was going
to get so competitive so soon.

385
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,240
Did you commit
those 20 aromas to memory?

386
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,720
I knew some of them anyway. Like
banana. I had smelt banana before.

387
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,440
Is that cheating? Yeah.

388
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,320
 And so it begins.

389
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,880
 There you go. You need a good
head on the beer. You know why?

390
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,880
I do not know why. Because the head
releases the aromas. Banana!

391
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,240
 Does it? See, he's too fast.

392
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,840
There's some very young
beer testers coming through.

393
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,320
We do have activities for children
all around.

394
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,960
Do they get BLEEP-faced?
They do not get BLEEP-faced.

395
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,800
Not on my watch at least.
It'd be fun though, right? No!

396
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,240
Have a sip.

397
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:30,160
I'm finding it hard to think
of a word other than beer.

398
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,720
For what it tastes like.
It tastes like beer.

399
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,720
As the rapport between Anders and I
builds, so does my confidence,

400
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,920
and I feel ready to employ
my newly acquired expertise.

401
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,520
It's very similar to the first one.

402
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,640
 I'm getting banana, again.

403
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,680
If this last one smells like banana,

404
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,920
I'll know the whole thing
is a rip-off.

405
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,920
There's lemon in that, right? Let's
open banana number three. Banana..!

406
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,800
 Yes, I am not sure about this.

407
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,560
 A bit un-banana-y for me.

408
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,200
I'd happily drink all of these.
By this stage, I am in pieces.

409
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:12,200
This is the most alcohol I've ever
drunk. Well, Anders, thanks for this.

410
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,640
My judgement is impaired,
but we have to leave you.

411
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:19,640
We're on a very limited timescale.
No problem at all. Thank you.

412
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,680
Thank you. It was a real pleasure.
Thanks a lot. Cheers. Bye.

413
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,240
There's some very drunk
minors here.

414
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,560
As Noel tries to shepherd
his complimentary alcohol

415
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,160
past some belligerent under-fives,
we suddenly yearn for simpler times,

416
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:37,000
and search for a place where we could
rebuild society from scratch.

417
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000
 Established in 1971,

418
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,600
the self-governed hippie haven
of Christiana

419
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,560
is a city within
the city of Copenhagen.

420
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,720
Famous for its
open selling of reefer,

421
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,640
 despite it being illegal,

422
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,640
its 800 residents have chosen
to live outside traditional society,

423
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,200
 like the people of Bedford.

424
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,320
But even though
it's called Freetown,

425
00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:01,320
the Man still seems to be
laying down a whole roll of rules.

426
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,080
So, these are the rules?
Yes. Have fun.

427
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,880
Of course you can relax
and behave just as anywhere else.

428
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,000
Making it a rule seems somewhat
counterintuitive, but go on.

429
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,080
Our guide, Kirstin,
a Christiana veteran,

430
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,440
has been pretending
to have fun here for 35 years.

431
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,920
Don't run, it causes panic.

432
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,640
It's because police
come here quite often.

433
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,680
They used to come in to surprise
the dealers in the street.

434
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,360
So of course they get nervous
if someone is running

435
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,360
because they think police
are coming.

436
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,400
That's why Mo Farah can't come here.

437
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,280
Banksy's been here. And no photos.

438
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,760
Banksy's quite a short man. He's
getting smaller, which is why...

439
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,120
 Rules don't apply to mavericks,

440
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,640
so we set off to see some
of Christiana's crazy cribs.

441
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,080
Is this a house that someone's
built themselves? Yes, yes.

442
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,160
Many self-build houses.
Around 60 of them.

443
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,360
Another good thing about Christiana
is there's no cars. No cars.

444
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:54,480
It's a good way to keep Jeremy
Clarkson out of a community. Yes.

445
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:58,200
There's a lot of people jogging.
Pardon? A lot of people jogging.

446
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,280
Oh, yeah, people from town,
they use it.

447
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:05,280
Slightly goes against
the no-running rule.

448
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,160
The dream of the '90s is alive
in Christiana.

449
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,080
 I'm not convinced. No?

450
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:16,080
If you were dropped here now, it's
quite a strange place because

451
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,840
Copenhagen itself is quite neat
and tidy and clean and efficient.

452
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,200
Very efficient.
Rigid, maybe. Tight, even. Uptight.

453
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,480
This is the opposite to that and
this is right in the centre of it.

454
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,040
 It's a bit too Lucy Goosey.

455
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,040
Yeah. For me.

456
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:36,040
I imagine it is.
I like being uptight. Come on.

457
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,920
As our time in the Danish capital
draws to a close,

458
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,920
we cannot leave without seeing one of
Copenhagen's mightiest slabs.

459
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,760
The Rundetaarn, AKA the Round Tower,

460
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,320
houses Europe's oldest
working observatory,

461
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,560
and was built with a ramp that
spirals all the way to the top

462
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,680
so the king could ride his horse
to the summit.

463
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,440
 We're powering up this. I know!

464
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,200
It's quite good.

465
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,960
The floor's getting uneven now.

466
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,640
 Give them a break.

467
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,440
This must have been
a nightmare to produce.

468
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,240
 Back in 1642.

469
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:14,240
They didn't have to make the floor
out of Jenga pieces, did they?

470
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:19,320
Entry to the Rundetaarn is ?2.50
and ups the total amount

471
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:23,320
of coin we've dropped
this weekend to ?456.49.

472
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,920
 How have you found Copenhagen?

473
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:31,080
I've really enjoyed
the open sandwiches.

474
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,080
Yes, it's a city without
the top deck of bread.

475
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,480
 What about Mike the bike?

476
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,760
I didn't enjoy that so much. Will
you stay in touch with Mike the Bike?

477
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,160
I saw him press you
for an e-mail at the end.

478
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,560
I did give him a false e-mail.
Yes. Yeah.

479
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,280
The thing I've enjoyed
most was galloping.

480
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,200
I'm getting one put in my house
and I'll invite you round.

481
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,880
 I am going to move in.

482
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,920
We'll always have galloping.
We'll always have galloping.

483
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,200
I know.

484
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,400
Let's get the funk out of here.
Let's go.

485
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,400
Next week, 48 hours in Moscow,
with Greg Davies.

486
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:29,000
I like it. It's nice.
I like it here.

487
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,000
</P></Sync> </Body>