1
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,080
The mini-break is to prise open the
crack of crazy,

2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,600
behind which lurks the absurd notion
of leaving your house,

3
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,440
certain motion sickness and the
terrifying prospect of

4
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,240
interacting with other cultures.

5
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,280
How can a cat get his or her
bearings,

6
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,880
without jettisoning a full bag of
marbles?

7
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,680
But do not uncoil your private fury,
for I, a nay-saying twit, called

8
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:26,680
Richard Ayoade am here to get
your short-haul holiday game tight.

9
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,760
I, whilst yoke to some people who
have long since lost their right

10
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,840
to earthly anonymity, am going to
take you hurtling

11
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,560
through a maxi-mini-break.

12
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,360
This is travel without mercy.

13
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,120
Tonight, 48 hours in the city that
in some ways has eclipsed York -

14
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,000
New York.

15
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,400
58 mill tourists came here last
year in dizzy plunder of sights,

16
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:53,400
skyscrapers and every type of shiz
that this conurbation commands.

17
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,640
Joining me for the full furlong in
this dense fruit is Canadian

18
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,480
comedian Katherine Ryan.

19
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,000
Together, we will extract
edification

20
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,000
in museums of diverse sizes...

21
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:10,000
Do you want me to enter another
reference number? No, I don't.

22
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,880
..bolster our blood sugar...

23
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,400
I think there's more sugar than
bread.

24
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,160
I place it in the Haribo family.

25
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,520
# Yes, I'm leaving
I'm gone. #

26
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,640
..and descend into a musical mangle.

27
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,760
It was like being trapped.

28
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,800
In a good way?

29
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,800
We're here, but should we have come?

30
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,640
An eight-hour flight followed by
a 40-minute taxi ride reveals

31
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:41,960
New York to be on the outer rim
of short-haulery.

32
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,400
We just had a long flight, but I
feel no jet lag.

33
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,400
I feel terrible.

34
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,400
I find it very difficult to cope
with any form of travel.

35
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,640
Yet you're a travel man. I'm weak.

36
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,160
It's unfortunate casting.

37
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,720
You're probably wondering why the
heck

38
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,080
I've brought you the these climes.
Are you wondering that?

39
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,920
I wasn't going to ask you till after
the bridge, but, Richard,

40
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,840
why have you brought
me to Manhattan?

41
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,800
Well, that question is timely.

42
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,800
New York, the Giant Apple,
has a population of 8.5 mill.

43
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,360
That makes it America's
largest city,

44
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,280
housing twice as many torsos as the
frankly quaint LA.

45
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,120
It's the birthplace of the teddy
bear,

46
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,920
hip-hop and my desert island
must-have - toilet paper.

47
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:29,440
It contains ten national parks,
237 museums and art galleries,

48
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,400
as well as, in a safety deposit box,
Albert Einstein's eyeballs.

49
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,160
And Jay-Z recently gave
me his personal assurance that the

50
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,560
streets here are so good that they
will both inspire you and

51
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,360
make you feel brand-new.

52
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,320
Alongside some of the statements
that were basically just boasting.

53
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,280
New York has five boroughs,

54
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,400
all with varying degrees of
interest and attraction.

55
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,520
But for a clock-conscious ram raid
of the city's top tat,

56
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,520
we bunker in Manhattan.

57
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,520
And specifically the Highline Hotel
in the chic Chelsea district.

58
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,080
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Wow.

59
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,680
Wow, that bag is visible. Thank you.
Thank you. Have a nice day.

60
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,840
You can see it at the baggage claim.

61
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,520
You can see that from space.

62
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,880
I imagine there's going to be
outfit changes.

63
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:14,240
Many. Really?
You must. Blimey.

64
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,440
The Highline had free-to-use
bicycles and a coffee van.

65
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,600
The rooms feature vintage
furniture, phones and typewriters.

66
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,600
You know, like the ones you
use at home.

67
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,560
PHONE RINGS

68
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,360
Hello? Katherine, what's going on?

69
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,240
Oh, hey, Boss. I'm just composing a
short novel.

70
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,440
OK, you need to stop that. We've got
to go.

71
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,520
I'll see you downstairs.
Bye, bye, bye. Bye.

72
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,480
After a gruelling two minute wait,
we hit the subway.

73
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,320
Underground aficionados will already
know that it is the seventh

74
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:51,320
most-used underground on earth,
with 1.763 billion journeys a year.

75
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,000
You've probably got a ranking system
of your favourite underground

76
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,880
transport networks.

77
00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,840
How does this rank?

78
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,560
New York City Subway ranks higher
than Germany.

79
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,560
Really? Definitely higher than
Toronto.

80
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,920
Not as good as London.
Thank you.

81
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,160
We're rollicking uptown to midtown

82
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,040
to curve our corneas around the
city's sights.

83
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,560
Well, here we are.

84
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:22,560
About to enjoy Elmgreen and
Dragset's Van Gogh's Ear.

85
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,160
This, thankfully temporary,

86
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,480
artwork guards the Fifth Avenue end
the Rockefeller Centre.

87
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,400
Home to Radio City Music Hall,
TV studios

88
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,840
and a whole heap of other biz.

89
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,640
It is exquisite.

90
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,000
Oh, it's a triumph of the
Art Deco style.

91
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,440
A trip to the top of 30 Rock allows
a bod a full ocular swoop

92
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,440
of the city's skyline.

93
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,680
Richard!

94
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,200
Well, OK.

95
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,160
Well, you know, yes.

96
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,160
This is densely clustered. It is.

97
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,680
Prince Charles would hate this.
SHE LAUGHS

98
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,760
Let's put this via a screen, so that
we can really drink this in.

99
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,360
Yeah. This is going to tell us what
we're looking at.

100
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:06,440
What are we looking at?

101
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,480
We're looking at the Empire State
building. That's cool.

102
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,800
Oh, you can go around. The Chrysler
building. Oh, yeah.

103
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,520
I like that one. Do you like it?
That's a good one.

104
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,360
It's one of my favourites.

105
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,760
Do you know, you can buy air space
around your building,

106
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,800
preventing anyone else from building
there and obstructing your views?

107
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,960
I did not know that.

108
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,880
Sensing myself out of my
conversational depth,

109
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,560
I suggest we leave and do
something else.

110
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,120
The hot dog is a New York obsession.

111
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,120
Last year, ¤2.5 billion of sausage
were sunk in the city.

112
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,480
Papaya King are the dukes
of the dog scene,

113
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,480
with 84 years on the clock.

114
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,040
It's good, yeah.

115
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,640
I actually wrote my university
thesis on the hot dog and have many

116
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,680
pertinent things to say about
its cultural,

117
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,080
historical and socio-political
impact.

118
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,520
But just as I was about to speak,
Katherine railroaded me.

119
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,880
I think it's important that we had
a hot dog in New York. Yeah.

120
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,920
It's the type of food that you
don't feel super-proud about

121
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:08,120
eating, but it was kind of naughty
and fun.

122
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,920
Let's bust. You go.
Thank you so much, Richard.

123
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,600
It's fine. Thank you.

124
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:18,320
Having used uncharacteristic
politeness to hide my fury,

125
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,320
we huff up to the largest and most
visited museum in all America.

126
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,040
It's the Met. Wow.

127
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,520
Within the context of Manhattan, it
kind of looks boutique.

128
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,200
Like a bungalow. Yeah.

129
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,240
They haven't used the air space
wisely at all.

130
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,280
Considering the value of
the real estate.

131
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:36,040
The problem we face, two million
exhibits, our time is limited.

132
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,800
What are we going to do? I'll tell
you what were going to do,

133
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,280
off-camera! Wait for me!

134
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,880
In an effort to condense this
mammoth museum,

135
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,080
I've secured the services of an
independent guide, who insists

136
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,680
he will make our visit subversive,
interactive, fun and fast.

137
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,800
We're going to fly through
this museum. OK, good.

138
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,480
We're going to blast it into our
retina and move on. I love it.

139
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,440
OK. Well, if we're going to do this,
we've got to get this thing started.

140
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,480
Shall we? Yes, let's get it started.
Yes.

141
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,960
We have a little museum hack
tradition that gets us going,

142
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,000
cos I know you want to move fast.
Yes, I do.

143
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,680
I need all hands in the centre,
please. We go down on, "mu-"

144
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,120
and then up on, "-seum," And then we
charged into the Met.

145
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,520
OK, OK. I'm nearly 40.
This is quite bad. You're nearly 40?

146
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,360
Well, you're going to have to keep
up. OK. Squash it down, move on.

147
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,160
BOTH: Museum!
All right, let's go.

148
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,720
That must endear you to people.

149
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,640
And so begins a slide across
the surface of the Met's

150
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,000
17 acres of galleries.

151
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,080
Arms In Armour.

152
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,560
I like that they gave a little
protection to the horses as well.

153
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,040
This is Henry VIII. And this is...?
Before and after.

154
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:39,040
OK. So as he aged, it he became less
concerned about his groin.

155
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,000
Like many men.

156
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,000
Let's move on.

157
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,840
Welcome to Washington
Crossing The Delaware. Whoa!

158
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,440
And is this for sale? No,
it's not for sale.

159
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,320
Next, prehistoric and the early
Greek art. What've we got?

160
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,000
We've got this.

161
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,720
All right, check this out. OK.

162
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,520
They think this may be
a 6,000 year-old selfie.

163
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,880
Commentators claim that the
proportions of the sculpture

164
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,360
mean the artist may have been
looking at herself without a mirror.

165
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,040
Oh, yes. You're looking at this from
the wrong angle, gentlemen.

166
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,560
I know. I like that
she has natural breasts. Yes.

167
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,280
Is this for sale? Unfortunately not.
OK, let's move on.

168
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:20,000
Welcome to the Temple of Dendur.
Thank you.

169
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,360
This is, I mean, it's extraordinary.

170
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,200
The positioning of this gift from
Egypt was decided by former first

171
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,360
lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.

172
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,880
Jackie O had purchased a brand-new
penthouse apartment right

173
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,440
across the street from the museum.

174
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,880
This is lit up 24/7, 365.

175
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,960
And suddenly the tabloids start
referring to this as Jackie's

176
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,800
night-light. It's excellent.
It's beautiful, isn't it?

177
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,920
It's really good. You don't have to
travel to Egypt.

178
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,720
That's what I like about museums.
Yeah.

179
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,520
You can go all over the world
in one afternoon. Oh, great.

180
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,800
Our frantic twirl takes us to the
roof,

181
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,320
whereon we behold one of the
museum's newest exhibits.

182
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:59,120
This is by Cornelia Parker.
It's called PsychoBarn. Yeah.

183
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,200
Right, thank you for having us.
It's an excellent museum.

184
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,040
Oh, that's wonderful to hear.

185
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:08,040
I think now I have added
my approbations,

186
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,760
you watch those till receipts soar,
My influence is huge.

187
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,320
I didn't even know what the museum
till I met Richard. Exactly.

188
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,680
I bow to you, my friend.
You mustn't.

189
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,280
You'll start a trend. All right.
Bye, guys.

190
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,720
Thank you. You've just gone now.
You out of my life. I'm out.

191
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,520
We're never talking again. That's
it. That's so weird, isn't it?

192
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,520
As evening encroaches in this series
of moving images, we went our

193
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,880
way back to Chelsea, where we
towelled down

194
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,120
and prepared for times to come.

195
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,960
Hi. This is good.

196
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,400
Chris de Burgh would love it.
Let's go. Yeah.

197
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,240
We are taking a sunset stroll along
the Highline,

198
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,080
from which our hotel snatched its
Monica.

199
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,840
Straight down. OK.

200
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,480
It's a former elevated railway,
now linear park.

201
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,160
Green-fingered viewers will
immediately recognise this as

202
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,440
the work of the influential
garden designer Piet Oudolf -

203
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,840
whose prairie plantings look
particularly plaintiff

204
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:03,800
in the setting sun.

205
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,720
Thoughts on this?
It's glorious.

206
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,400
Let's move on.

207
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,480
As night descends in typically sped
up fashion,

208
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,040
an onslaught of options self
presents.

209
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:19,040
We could see one of approximately
150 theatrical performances.

210
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,920
Or visit one of
approximately 1,500 bars.

211
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:26,400
Or combine these two seemingly
disparate activities.

212
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,440
I failed to book a Broadway show,

213
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,280
so this is a cost-effective
alternative. OK.

214
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,040
You're more than welcome.

215
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,040
Of New York's many bars,
only Marie's Crisis persists in

216
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,400
holding a show tune sing-along
around the piano every night.

217
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,960
# Doe a deer
a female deer... #

218
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,400
Right. Right, I think you're going
to need one or seven drinks.

219
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,320
Yes. This is where all the
introverts gather.

220
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,560
How are you feeling so far?

221
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,320
I'm OK, how are you?

222
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,040
Yeah. Introverted.

223
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,360
Yeah, this is, this is...

224
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,240
This is too community
spirited for me.

225
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,920
We passively pootle to the piano,
just as the throng throats

226
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,920
one of Katherine's personal
highlights from the musical Rent.

227
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:15,520
# Don't fight it
Don't lose your head

228
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,960
# Yes, I'm leaving

229
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,080
# I'm gone. #

230
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,520
THEY CHEER

231
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,280
Did you like that one? Good.

232
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,440
I feel...

233
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,920
I don't know that song,
so I felt...

234
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,680
It was like being trapped.

235
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,000
Being trapped...

236
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,680
In a good way?

237
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,440
In a very one-sided conversation.

238
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,640
Do you guys want to sing
another song?

239
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,040
I mean, no.

240
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,120
I imagine you're going to do a song.

241
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,400
Whether you like it or not. Yeah.

242
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,360
He's having a great time.
Pretty much.

243
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,320
# Little shop
Little shop of horrors

244
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,480
# Little shop... #

245
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,600
Unable to cope with this public
expression of joy,

246
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,960
I ripcord this flipper.

247
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,680
I think we need to go.

248
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,680
I think we need to go.

249
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,360
Did you love it, Richard?

250
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,360
That feels like a leading question.

251
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,680
I'm pleased they were enjoying
themselves,

252
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,440
but it was a bit like turning up to
a party when everyone is drunk.

253
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,800
Yeah, it's great to watch them
having a great time.

254
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,040
They were drunk on show tunes.

255
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,280
Still regretting this first thoughts
analogy, we walk away from the lens

256
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:31,280
in a way that's consistent with the
end of part one television grammar.

257
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:35,160
In a most second of parts,
we will shower in sucrose...

258
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,600
Wow, that's
so sugary it was almost spicy.

259
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,600
..embark on a prolonged skid...

260
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,440
This is a kind of very slow-moving
zombie apocalypse.

261
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,680
..and start sweating in a jumped up
garage.

262
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,840
This is hell in here.

263
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:56,000
Why am I here?

264
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:04,040
'We are more than halfway through a
two-day dalliance in NYC.

265
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,160
'Part one featured the following
subheadings -

266
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:11,160
'taxi, hotel, Rockefeller, hot dogs,
museum, High Line, singalong.'

267
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,920
You're going to have to keep up. OK.

268
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,920
'Day two begins with a frankly
fascist 7:30am start.'

269
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,400
Are we going for breakfast?
Yes, we're going for a cronut.

270
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,520
Cronut?

271
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,560
'In May 2013, after six months'
toil,

272
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:29,560
'Chef Dominique Ansel launched a
paradigm-shifting piece of
patisserie.

273
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,400
'He called it the cronut.

274
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,320
'Croissant dough is fried,
coated in sugar,

275
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,520
'injected with cream and glazed.

276
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,520
'Such is the demand for this
confection that queues form at 7am
in the morning.'

277
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,440
What time do they open, eight? Yeah.

278
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,200
And then it all kicks off.

279
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,200
'I'm so tired and the strict two
cronuts per person limit is
enforced.'

280
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,840
We'll get four cronuts.

281
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,240
Four? We will get our maximum
allotted amount of cronuts.

282
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,040
Sure, no problem.

283
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:02,040
'One food writer claimed a cronut
contains 1,300 calories,

284
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,400
'over half a man's recommended daily
allowance.

285
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,840
'The bakery says this is incorrect
and - open quotes - "absurd."

286
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,040
'Close quotes. Controversy like this
is part of what makes the pastry

287
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,280
'seem so freaking exciting.'

288
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,000
I'm getting leakage. Yeah, me too.

289
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:19,000
There's stuff inside here that I did
not expect.

290
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,040
Wow.

291
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,880
I think I've just developed
diabetes.

292
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,440
I think there's more sugar
than bread.

293
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,120
So I'd place it in the Haribo
family.

294
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,920
Right.
I really like all the wetness of it.

295
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,680
All the cream and sauce.

296
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,400
I can eat this
and then I can lie down.

297
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,000
SHE LAUGHS
Let my blood adjust...

298
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,440
SHE LAUGHS AGAIN

299
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,680
..while these tiny diabetic birds
flap around me and try and get

300
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,400
bits of sugar from the corners
of my mouth.

301
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,160
This is great. This is the most
sugar you've ever had in your life.

302
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,720
I know!
I'm going to put this back up.

303
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,040
OK. My hands are shaking.

304
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,400
OK. Let's go, let's walk this.

305
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,680
I need this...
I'm dipping, I'm dipping.

306
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,840
'Before we're engulfed by insulin,

307
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,760
'we flounce off
to the ferry terminal

308
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,680
'and board a Manhattan Mainstay.'

309
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,560
It makes me feel like livestock.

310
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,920
In a good way? There's not a good
way. No?

311
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,920
'The Staten Island ferry runs 24
hours a day, seven days a week.

312
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,200
'It's 100% gratis,

313
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,040
'offering travellers a time and
cost-effective, if somewhat distant

314
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,960
'look at an NYC landmark.'

315
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,760
And there she is. It's an it, it's
not a person, it's a statue.

316
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,640
It is she. It's an it.

317
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,120
I'm never sure about that hat.

318
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,600
It seems quite unwelcoming
and quite pointy.

319
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,560
I see it as a friendly nod to nearby
birds who might want to have a
rest.

320
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,440
Right. Do you feel like you've seen
the Statue of Liberty now, Richard?

321
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,840
I actually have seen it.

322
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,200
So it's more than a feeling.

323
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,800
It's a reality.

324
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,800
'With the temperature firing into
the 100s, we career into Central
Park.

325
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,840
'Visitors can explore this uptown
rectangle by carriage, bike or leg.'

326
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:12,160
'After a brief off-camera
consultation with our separate
stylists,

327
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,640
'we decide to get into
our sports shiz.'

328
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,640
What could be better than learning
to rollerblade in this heat?

329
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,160
SHE CHUCKLES

330
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,480
'Roller Joel created the first-ever
in-line skating school

331
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,080
'in New York City in 1988.

332
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,680
'Former clients include Cindy
Crawford who used to work as a
model.'

333
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,000
Hey, guys! Hi, are you Roller Joel?

334
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000
I am indeed Roller Joel,
and you are..?

335
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,720
Richard.
Richard, pleasure to meet you.

336
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,640
Katherine. Katherine. So, welcome to
New York, welcome to Central Park.

337
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,440
Have you skated before? No.

338
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,320
Have you skated before? I have a
little bit as a child.

339
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,960
I will make you expert skaters
when I'm done with you. Really?

340
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,440
'Natural pessimist Joel gets
us padded up...'

341
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,880
This is going to be a good sequence
when it's cut together.

342
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,080
'..before we bring the thunder.'

343
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,800
I'm just going to pull you.
You're a natural, look at you!

344
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,560
I feel like a retired Dalek.

345
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,760
Now, put your hands forward on your
knees and roll.

346
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,520
This is a deleted scene
from Night of the Living Dead.

347
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,880
THEY LAUGH

348
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,040
'Katherine shows herself to be a
classic ringer...'

349
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,360
That's it.

350
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,920
'..whereas I develop instant
osteoporosis.'

351
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,720
Now, when you come back next time...

352
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,080
Sure. ..we're going to go on...

353
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,920
I'll go on foot.
..a much more extensive tour.

354
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,560
We can cover all the acres
on skates.

355
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,280
'But we do manage a creditable creep
round the park,

356
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,960
'taking in the bandshell used as a
location in the film

357
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,840
'Breakfast at Tiffany's...'

358
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,080
Hands forward. No, no, no!

359
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:38,080
'..and the Bethesda Terrace, which
you'll recognise from
Stuart Little 2.'

360
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:42,200
Wow. This is not my natural habitat.

361
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,480
'We finish at the Cherry Hill
Fountain which many mistakenly think

362
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,600
'is the fountain at the start of
Friends.'

363
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,840
Well, thank goodness.

364
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,080
That was-that was something.

365
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,000
Well,
something is better than nothing.

366
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,760
Hope you had a good time.
Don't forget, keep on rolling.

367
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,040
Keep on Joeling.

368
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,120
Ooh, I like that even better!
That's good.

369
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,600
'Knowing that mot can never be
out-bon-ed,

370
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,600
'we swiftly segue from one sequence
to another to create the illusion of
momentum.'

371
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,880
Look at this. It's quite grand.

372
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,880
It is. Grand Central Terminus.

373
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,520
Terminus? Not station.

374
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,840
Why not? No trains pass through
here, it's the end of the line

375
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,120
and the beginning of the line.

376
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,480
750,000 people pass through here
daily.

377
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,840
It used so much granite that there
is still radiation here.

378
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:34,040
We're in the middle of a radiation
zone. And they've just decided
that's fine?

379
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,760
There's nothing they can do about
it. There's that much granite.

380
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,880
Let's hit the dining concourse. Yes.

381
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,880
'This corner of the station is home
to an acoustic anomaly.'

382
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,920
Hello? Hi, Richard, how are you?

383
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,720
I feel slightly unnerved by this.

384
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,920
'Sound is reflected by the curve of
the ceiling so we can hear

385
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,560
'each other clearly despite standing
ten metres apart and facing

386
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,040
'in opposite directions.'

387
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,960
This is a much easier way for me to
communicate than normal.

388
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,400
It's a lot easier. There's none of
that kind of strange eye contact

389
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,160
business or, you know, engaging
with someone's face.

390
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,920
I mean, it just looks like you're
having a wee.

391
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,320
It does. I'm going to step away now.

392
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,680
OK.

393
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,880
'My urine still warming the wall,

394
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:22,880
'we canter to Chinatown for one last
carafe of culture.'

395
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:28,160
'A museum that stands in rude
opposition to the Met's epic swoop.'

396
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,440
Hello. Hello, welcome to Mmuseumm.
That curb's dangerous, by the way.

397
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,400
OK. I almost killed myself.

398
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,240
So, the double M is silent?

399
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,360
Yes. The first M,
but the second M, you sound?

400
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:40,640
If you want to. OK, fine.

401
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,480
Say it again slowly? Mmuseumm.

402
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,040
OK. Mmmmmuseummmm.

403
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,320
Museum. Thank you.

404
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,320
'Opened in 2012, the Mmuseumm is
housed in a goods elevator,

405
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,160
'which this afternoon has reached
the temperature of fresh lava.'

406
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,960
My glasses are slipping off my nose.

407
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,520
'When they say the Mmuseumm
challenges you to find meaning

408
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,080
'in objects from around the world,
which had been overlooked,

409
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,480
'dismissed or ignored - and they
actually say this

410
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,840
'in this condescending sign -
they're not joking about it being a
challenge.

411
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,200
'Exhibits include different kinds of
cornflakes and things left

412
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,280
'by illegal immigrants
crossing into America.'

413
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,040
These are good,
these Trump accessories.

414
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,440
The Trump energy drink.

415
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:20,760
He has an energy drink?

416
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:24,080
I actually own The Art of the
Comeback myself in paperback.

417
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,320
How is it? It's heavy going.

418
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,680
It's heavy going. Maybe he wrote it
on the energy drink. Yeah.

419
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,720
'Above the Trump collection are
cookies displaying major events

420
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,720
'of 2015,
including the VW emission scandal

421
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:41,680
'and edible instances
of the refugee crisis.

422
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,680
'There is also an audio guide - God
help us - to unlock the complex
imagery.'

423
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,280
Would you like to listen to the
audio recording?

424
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,720
I'd like my head to cool down.

425
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,640
It's very hot. I tell you what the
story of this,

426
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,280
it's the incredible melting man,
that's what the story is right here.

427
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,360
I'm not even incredible.

428
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:02,080
It's like the slightly bemused
melting man.

429
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,160
I want you to be comfortable,
that's why I'm here,

430
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,960
that's what friendship is.

431
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,640
AUDIO RECORDING: '21.25 g.'

432
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,080
This is hell. This is hell in here.

433
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,760
I'm in a lift on my phone looking at
weird... I mean, this is hell.

434
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,040
AUDIO RECORDING: '..reference number
at any time.'

435
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,560
Do you want me to enter another
reference number? No, I don't.

436
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,760
I'm very hot.
I'm sorry, I apologise.

437
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,280
It's not your fault.

438
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,840
You didn't design this.
No, she didn't.

439
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,440
You're just out of work.

440
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,600
Well, thank you. I'm going to leave.

441
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,520
This has been something.

442
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,840
It really has. So great,
thank you so much.

443
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,360
Thank you. Thank you for being here.
We had a really great time.

444
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,280
'My personal ire index
at incandescent,

445
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:47,280
'I insist we blast free of Manhattan
and cross, via its eponymous bridge,

446
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:51,240
'to Brooklyn, leaving Katherine just
seconds to source a new outfit.'

447
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,960
Thank you for letting me
change my shoes.

448
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,080
You're more than welcome.

449
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,240
I keep causing you delays
but I'm so comfortable now.

450
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,080
250,000 people cross the bridge
daily.

451
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,920
120,000 vehicles.

452
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,280
It's a good bridge.
Hell of a bridge.

453
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,160
1,825 metres.

454
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,400
It feels like longer.

455
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,680
'But enough of this bridge-based
baloney.

456
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,000
'The final reckoning is upon us.'

457
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,280
Let's sum this up while we're
upstaged by the background.

458
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,960
How's the trip? I'm absolutely
thrilled that you've brought me

459
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,640
to New York, Richard.
I had a fab time.

460
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,400
Well, you're very welcome.
I love the Rockefeller Centre. Good.

461
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,040
I loved the Met. Yes. Mmuseumm.

462
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,240
Yes. I even loved the food tourism.

463
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:33,680
For me,

464
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,680
this trip was of two halves,
Before Cronut and After Cronut.

465
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:41,760
After Cronut is a blur, I don't know
what happened, I'm just...

466
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,840
I don't know what's going on now.

467
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,800
It's still going through my blood.

468
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,800
'Our trip to New York cost ?975
per person.

469
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,000
'Small beans for a weekend crammed
with culture, camaraderie and
cronuts.'

470
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,240
I mean, New York is very good.

471
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,600
It's the city of dreams.

472
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,400
I think they've certainly built
themselves a city

473
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,840
on a national scale, if not an
international scale.

474
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,000
It has been my absolute pleasure
to join you.

475
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,840
I am thrilled to be here.

476
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,360
Well, you're more than welcome.
We'll settle up at the airport.

477
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:15,840
OK. Because this wasn't cheap.
No, of course not.

478
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,840
'Next time, a two-day romp around
Helsinki with actor Paul Rudd.'

479
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,960
Oh, God,
it's like swallowing phlegm!

480
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:44,000
Subtitles by Ericsson

481
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,000
</P></Sync> </Body>