1
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:07,200
If there's a more foolhardy
endeavour that the Xmas mini-break,

2
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,720
I've yet to hear tell.

3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,120
Notwithstanding the poss of
squandering two whole days,

4
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:15,120
you could scupper your very Yule,
an event which is, at best, annual.

5
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,840
But do not snuff out your candle
with winter slush, for I,

6
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,600
the ill wind of Richard Ayoade,

7
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,600
am here to get your seasonal
mini-break game strong.

8
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,600
In an Xmas spectacular that makes

9
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,640
the most nuanced of nods to
seasonal specificity,

10
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,640
we'll rollick round the Renaissance
in not-so-festive Florence.

11
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,760
Ten mil visitors per annum trek to
the Tuscan capital

12
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,720
to fill up on art, architecture
and intestines.

13
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,440
Yes!

14
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,200
'Joining me to crash
this conurbation

15
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,600
'and jab in some jarring
yuletide refs...'

16
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,720
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas!

17
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,200
'..is the living phenomenon...'

18
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,240
Cheers.

19
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,520
'..called Rebel Wilson.'

20
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,320
SHE SCREAMS

21
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,080
'Together we will marvel
at masterpieces...'

22
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,440
He's bloody good at sculpting,
isn't he?

23
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,600
'..overreact...'

24
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,280
That's a cure for jet lag. Wow.

25
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,920
'..and participate in
other activities...'

26
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:06,960
Please.

27
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,920
'..featured in this
brief montage.'

28
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,280
I've no idea where we're going.

29
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,880
We're here. But should we have come?

30
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,880
Si. Merry Christmas!

31
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,680
Florence is a mere
two-and-a-half-hour whizz

32
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,440
from the United Kingdom,

33
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,440
but a 12-and-a-half-hour whazz, via
Paris, for LA-based Rebel Wilson.

34
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:39,000
Well, thank you for joining me for
this Christmas special.

35
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,520
Yeah, thanks for having me.

36
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,240
I feel very honoured.
Well, you're not.

37
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:47,120
Oh. The complaints will come thick
and fast, I can assure you,

38
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,080
when you see the standards
we operate to.

39
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,760
This probably isn't the time
to tell you

40
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,200
that this isn't the
buddy-cop franchise

41
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,400
that you may have
thought it could be.

42
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,120
What do you mean,
we're not filming a movie?

43
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,920
No, this isn't a film. This is it.

44
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,440
We're...

45
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,440
Well... Why have you brought
me here?

46
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,440
I'm going to tell you why.

47
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,760
Founded in 59AD by Julius Caesar,

48
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,280
Florence was the Italian capital
in the 19th-century

49
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,120
for an exhausting six years.

50
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,080
Famous Florentines include
historical heavyweights da Vinci,

51
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,960
Machiavelli, cultural colossi
Michelangelo, Dante and Botticelli,

52
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,280
health-care-earlier-doctor
Florence Nightingale,

53
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,720
and clothes enthusiasts
Robert Cavalli and Guccio Gucci.

54
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,040
We have Florence to blame for the
piano, paved streets and Pinocchio.

55
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,400
And if that wasn't enough,
it also has the dishonour

56
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,920
of providing the backdrop for
Dan Brown's Inferno.

57
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:41,400
Florence hosts not one
but two Christmas markets,

58
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,200
and in addition to the
standard shiz,

59
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,600
there's a parade on the 6th of
January featuring the original

60
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,040
Three Kings with their
highly-specific baby gifts.

61
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,760
But because we're filming
in October,

62
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:54,760
we will provide no visual
evidence of this!

63
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,600
Florence straddles the River Arno,
and we are quartered in the area

64
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,240
known as "Beyond the Arno",

65
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:04,240
or "Oltrarno", as the Italians
continue calling it.

66
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,760
Here we go.
This is looking very grand.

67
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,320
Thank you.

68
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,360
The AdAstra declares itself to be

69
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,280
a "Hotel Particulier",

70
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,680
a grand townhouse fit for
fancy types

71
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,680
fleeing the country's clutches.

72
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,800
Look. They've brought out
the red carpet for us.

73
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,440
Please, this is not your
first rodeo.

74
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,680
'It occupies the first floor
of a Florentine mansion

75
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:32,680
'sublet from Italian nobility.'

76
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,040
OK. I'll leave you to make your
toilet in peace.

77
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:42,040
OK. Best of luck.

78
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,960
Oh, they have a robe. Yes!

79
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,960
'Rooms feature eclectic decor,
high ceilings

80
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,960
'and thoroughly visible baths.

81
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,680
'And overlooking one of the largest
private gardens in Europe

82
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,080
'is this terrace, which I'm
pretending to find meaningful.'

83
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,560
Yeah, I mean, yes.

84
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,200
'But we can't tarry to take
in topiary.'

85
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,320
KNOCKS ON DOOR

86
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,640
Rebel. We're on a schedule, yeah?

87
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,280
No dawdling, yeah?

88
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:19,280
Uh, yeah, OK.

89
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,200
Before she succumbs to
fatal slumber,

90
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,000
I expel Rebel from the false Eden
of her room

91
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:32,000
and out into the Xmas fray
of Florence.

92
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,600
OK.

93
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,600
So, this is where the Christmas
market would be.

94
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,480
Mulled wine.... It's very beautiful.

95
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,480
Lots of festive trinkets,
great atmosphere.

96
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,680
But, right now, like, nothing's
going on. No, no, no.

97
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,960
Right now, it's empty.

98
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,520
OK. Well, I can definitely see...

99
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,840
what it's not. You can see
the potential.

100
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,040
When are we getting gelato?
Soon. That's happening.

101
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,920
That's my promise to you. Please?
Come on.

102
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,640
'Tanked up on Christmas cheer,
we head for the nearest altar,'

103
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,320
'which happens to be contained
within this.'

104
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,840
Here we are, il Duomo.

105
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,200
Florence Cathedral. Yeah?

106
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,280
OK. I told you it was
a Christmas special.

107
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,360
Let's crash this cathedral.
Straight in. All right.

108
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,640
Is this the VIP entrance? Yeah.

109
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,040
With a build time of the approx
600 years,

110
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,800
the Duomo is one of Italy's most
iconic constructions.

111
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,800
Once inside, your retina
will receive

112
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,600
a fully figurative fresco,

113
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:33,600
literally plastered onto
the ceiling.

114
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,480
'To get an increased sense of scale,

115
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,960
'and a high-level panoramic scope
of the city,

116
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,640
'we jointly elect to ascend.'

117
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,440
Do you want to climb the ladder?

118
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,440
Of course you do. All right.

119
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,400
Would it have killed them
to put in a stairlift?

120
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,400
BREATHLESS: I feel like we're
getting suffocated by the staircase.

121
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,080
SHE GRUNTS

122
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,840
Is that your resting noise?

123
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:05,120
Apparently, like, elite athletes
make that noise. Sure.

124
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,920
'We break through to the balcony and
get an intense ocular blast

125
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,920
'from Giorgio Vasari's hell-centric
depiction of the last judgment.'

126
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,200
Well.

127
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,000
There you go. Pretty spectacular.

128
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,200
Their view on evil is it's not going
to turn out well.

129
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,480
Yeah. You're down
in the fiery pits of hell.

130
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,520
It's not good for you.

131
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,000
There's some imagery that is hard to
interpret as positive.

132
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,520
Look at that. Yeah. It's like a
winged beast...

133
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,240
Three-headed. ..eating a human.

134
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,120
Yeah. But with a good torso.

135
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,840
Well, it's just eating lean protein.

136
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,680
Yeah.

137
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,640
'We thump on between the inner and
outer skin to the dome.'

138
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,320
I thought the steps had ended.

139
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,640
No.

140
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,640
'This masterpiece of
Renaissance engineering

141
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,120
'could be unpacked by a person
of substance...'

142
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,360
My legs are starting
to burn out.

143
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,080
'..but given my inherent inanity,

144
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:04,080
'this sequence is reduced to some
snatched transitional shots.'

145
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,040
Oh, that is steep.

146
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,720
It's a bit steep. It's fine.
Push through. Too steep! Too...

147
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,880
Are you gonna...? Yeah.
Do the chant?

148
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,560
I just don't know... Too steep! I
don't know how effective it will be.

149
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,320
I'll do it. Too steep! I agree,
it is too steep.

150
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:20,320
Come on.

151
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,840
SHE GRUNTS

152
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:31,640
Yeah? We did it!

153
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,160
Oh, this is high. It's pretty high.

154
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,480
How are you vertigo-wise?

155
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,720
I'm a little afraid of
heights. Yeah?

156
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,080
OK. OK. Stay on the railing.

157
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,120
Yeah? I'm staying next to you. OK.

158
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,640
Oh, wow!

159
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,120
Well, they've gone for
a colour scheme.

160
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,880
Yeah. And they've stuck with it.

161
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,360
Beautiful. You can
see countryside...

162
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,120
You can. ..the city.

163
00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,320
Phwoar. It's what Milton Keynes
could have been.

164
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,040
Oh. OK, don't look right down
at the people.

165
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,040
It's a bit too much. Aah!

166
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,880
Yeah, they're pretty small.
OK, wait.

167
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,920
I might spew. No. OK. Move back.

168
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,720
Move back. Back. Back away.
Back away. Way back.

169
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,200
We're very far from this.

170
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,360
I'm guessing you've never worked
in construction.

171
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,520
Only on the ground floor.
Ground floor. Yeah.

172
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,840
You do basements? Yeah.

173
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,160
Before Rebel covers these comely
climbs with chunks,

174
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,560
we descend with dignity un-depleted.

175
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:33,960
Do you want to go down?

176
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,640
Yeah. OK. Go first. You can
go first.

177
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,760
I'll go first. This is good.

178
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,280
OK. Are you going to go forwards
or backwards?

179
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,960
Forwards. Yeah. That's good.
I'll go forwards. Forwards.

180
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,760
AH! Just joking.

181
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,960
SHE LAUGHS
Stop it, now.

182
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,440
No, that... OK. That was a real one.
That was a real one.

183
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,360
'If you imagine an ascent reversed,

184
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,080
'you'll have a serviceable mental
image of what passed

185
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,840
'before we arrived in this shot at
the Mercato Centrale.'

186
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,920
Markets! Markets! Markets.

187
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,560
'Rebel's absolutely right to repeat
the word "Markets",

188
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,320
'because this is a market, and we're
in search of some kind of

189
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,200
'Florence-specific sustenance.

190
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,880
'The Florentines lap up lampredotto.

191
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:13,880
'Tripe made from my favourite cow's
stomach, the much-maligned fourth.

192
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,440
'After a humiliating shun of my
offer to split a bun,

193
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,320
'Rebel heroically assents to taste
via proxy.'

194
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,520
Come on. You love it.

195
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,600
Thank you. Grazie.

196
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,600
You are missing out.

197
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,560
You're missing out on this
meaty goodness.

198
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,080
I know, but I'm also saving room
for gelato.

199
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:35,000
You won't get any gelato if you
don't eat your stomach.

200
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,760
I can't eat stomachs. Look at this.

201
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,960
Richard, no. This is lean. I can see
it. I can see it out of the bread.

202
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:44,800
That's OK. It's got less calories
than chicken.

203
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,720
I've never heard of a tripe
sandwich before. Look at this.

204
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,880
That looks a little fatty. Ah. Ah,
ah, ah! Mmm.

205
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,880
OK, I'm just going to concentrate
on the salad.

206
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,040
How is it?

207
00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,600
Well...

208
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,480
It's taking you a while to chew it!

209
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,920
It's offering a lot of resistance.

210
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,160
The salad's delicious. Good.

211
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,920
I'm going to have a little bit
more. It's quite greasy. Yeah.

212
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,200
I am going to need, probably,

213
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,240
to have a shower after eating this.

214
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,360
But...

215
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,960
..sometimes, when a dish is local,
and doesn't travel,

216
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,440
those locals have got to ask
themselves why it's not travelling.

217
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:29,440
Well, thanks for supporting me
during this moment. Yeah.

218
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,920
Let's, erm...

219
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,880
I don't want to be rude, but
I may...

220
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,960
I may leave this fella here.

221
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,960
'With a gut full of belly, we bring
part one to a welcome end.

222
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,120
'In the second quarter of this
egregious epistle,

223
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,080
'we will gallop
through galleries...'

224
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,480
Maybe he had a thing for gingers.

225
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,920
'..restage Deliverance...'

226
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,720
This is a terrible idea!

227
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,000
SHE SCREAMS

228
00:10:55,000 --> 00:11:05,000
'..and consolidate our
Christmassy credentials.'

229
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,040
Pitch Perfect star Rebel Wilson
and I,

230
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,360
the collapsed neutron
called Richard Ayoade,

231
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,680
have cantered through
the first quart

232
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,360
of our faux festive
Florentine mini-break.

233
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,160
Thus far, we have stood
in a bare square...

234
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,360
Right now it's empty.

235
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,800
Stared at some hills
and quietly eaten meat.

236
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,480
Aah-ah!

237
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,880
And now it's time to drop a stat
like a hot plop in the snow.

238
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,720
You know Unesco?

239
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,000
You know your Unesco stats.

240
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,200
Not really. Of course you do.

241
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,960
30% of the most significant art
of the world is here.

242
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,960
Wow. It's got the highest
concentration of important art
in the world.

243
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,200
So we should... OK.
I've allotted an hour.

244
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,720
Maybe two hours. Should be plenty.
I think we can drink that in.

245
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,040
Yeah. We'll see some art,
then get some gelato.

246
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,320
OK. You've mentioned that.

247
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,560
Priorities. You've mentioned that.

248
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:01,200
We begin at the Uffizi,
originally built as an office block

249
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:05,200
by my favourite 16th century
bankers, the Medici family.

250
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,440
As they creamed off
the creme of Renaissance art,

251
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,960
they needed somewhere to stash
all this shiz.

252
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,280
So the Uffizi became high-end
wall space.

253
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,920
I'm starting to feel that one hour
may not do this place justice.

254
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,120
So many things to look at.

255
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:25,120
They've not gone for minimalism.

256
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,000
It is slippy, the floor.
Yeah. It is.

257
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,880
And there's no barrier here,
either.

258
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,040
Yeah. I know. We can totally...

259
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,840
You could slide straight into this.

260
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,840
We can totally touch this. Wow.

261
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,800
I mean, I'm perilously close
to enthusiasm.

262
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,040
This is the moment that Venus,
the goddess of beauty and...

263
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,040
Yeah. ..love, created from
ocean spray and blown by the winds,

264
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,760
Lands up in Cyprus. Hmm.

265
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,200
Immediately takes a mini break.

266
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,240
It is very beautiful.

267
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,920
Could have maybe put some dolphins
in the ocean.

268
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,640
Yeah! Just to...

269
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,760
Jazz it up.
I mean, if I was the artist.

270
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,400
Yes. I'm sure they wouldn't mind
if you put something down
as a suggestion. Yeah.

271
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,880
In pen.

272
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,280
Maybe he had a thing for gingers,
because look.

273
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:19,280
You think?
The women are all gingers.

274
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,120
Or maybe he just had
a lot of ginger paint left over.

275
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,160
Do you know, it'd would be really
good to roller-skate in here?

276
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,800
It would be. It might be
a waste of the facility.

277
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,040
But I... Yeah, but imagine...

278
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,960
Imagine you're having a 21st.
I'm not denying the fact
that it's smooth.

279
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,080
Right. Turn this
into a roller skating rink.

280
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,360
If you could hire it out?

281
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,600
Yeah.
And you're just like going through.

282
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,400
Yes, there's art.

283
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,800
Right. But then there's also,
you're getting your cardio, as well.

284
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,800
Exactly.

285
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,360
Mid when 'twixt venues

286
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,200
we find some of Florence's
pleasingly restrained street art.

287
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,600
He's just stuck that on. Yeah.

288
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,360
That'll come off
with soap and water.

289
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,920
Yeah. Bit of graffiti. Get real.

290
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,480
We hit the Accademia gallery.

291
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,760
To see
some massively dope sculptures

292
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,760
by your main man,
Michelangelo.

293
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,320
Do you sculpt?

294
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,000
No. Less than you did?

295
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,440
Yeah. I mean, I used to.

296
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,560
You got busy. Yeah.

297
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,720
Used to go to this class
called Body Sculpt.

298
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,160
OK. At the gym? Yes.

299
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,640
Yeah.
Where you do, like, these ones.

300
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:25,720
You start on marble? Yeah.

301
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:29,720
Oh, OK, you just...
So I was pretty good at that. Yes.

302
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:34,080
Before us stands the undisputed
victor of the much-hyped rumble

303
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,160
with trash-talking
out-of-shape big man Goliath.

304
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,760
It's your boy David.

305
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,680
MUSIC: Zadok The Priest by Handel

306
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,480
Michelangelo's
monumental masterpiece

307
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,880
was originally intended
to go on the roof of the Duomo,

308
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,680
but its well impressiveness
and weight

309
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,360
meant that it stayed at ground level

310
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,640
so that it could achieve
its ultimate destiny

311
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,560
of being framed in this wide shot.

312
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,840
It was uncarved for 25 years, Rebel.

313
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,640
They thought
they were imperfections.

314
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,600
Yeah. You don't want to
get halfway through this
and have it split.

315
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,280
You've got egg on your face.
Imagine.

316
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:09,280
You can't claw those two years back.
Yeah. Be a nightmare.

317
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,320
You'd be livid.
Yeah, you'd be spewing.

318
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,200
I put marble in my new kitchen.

319
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,400
Yeah. It was expensive.
And that doesn't have...

320
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,920
The detail. The detail of this.

321
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:22,920
It doesn't. Yeah, nut I went to the
marble quarry and chose all my own
marble. Did you? Yeah.

322
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,280
Just like Michelangelo did.

323
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,000
Just like Michelangelo before you.

324
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,640
Yeah.

325
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,680
I mean, he's bloody good
at sculpting, isn't he?

326
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,760
Yeah. I don't even have a criticism.

327
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,680
I don't either. I mean,
it doesn't just make me feel bad

328
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,560
but there is that element
that I may not achieve...

329
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,080
Something that good?

330
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,520
I mean, my life's not over.

331
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,800
It's close. But if you worked on
something for three years...

332
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:50,800
I've worked on this for three years.
Yeah. On this show?

333
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,920
Yeah. Why is that funny? And how
does it compare? That's my life.

334
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,480
Yeah. It's my life, Rebel.

335
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,920
Yeah, well...
Is there a museum to it?

336
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,040
Is it treated with respect?

337
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,640
No, it's not. Yeah. Have you won
any awards for this show?

338
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,640
Not even close. Something in the
Midlands, who cares. Let's go. Yeah.

339
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,320
Yeah. There's some more statues.

340
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,320
Yes. Yeah.

341
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,040
How are you feeling?

342
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,440
Good! I'm feeling very cultured.

343
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,880
Of course you are. Yeah.

344
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,160
I mean, it's a huge input of data.

345
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,960
I've seen so many things today.

346
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,160
You're probably suffering from
Stendhal syndrome.

347
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,480
What's that? The French writer,
Stendhal, when he came to Florence.

348
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,840
Yeah. Found himself overwhelmed
by the beauty.

349
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,080
Yeah. He was woozy with it.

350
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,800
That's me, overwhelmed with beauty.

351
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,760
Exactly.

352
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,240
The only way we have
to link to this next sequence

353
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,640
is to pretend we're seeking a cure
for this aesthetic affliction,

354
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,000
and then tilt down into the lobby

355
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,200
of the Farmaceutica
di Santa Maria Novella.

356
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,840
So this is the oldest pharmacy
in Florence?

357
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,080
That's right, 1221.

358
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,400
It's a bit nicer than a Boots,
isn't it?

359
00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,200
It's no Superdrug.

360
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,880
This high-class farm
was founded by Dominican monks

361
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,360
to mash up meds for the sick.

362
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:07,400
Unforgivably, they don't sell
my usual allergy sprays,

363
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,680
but there's a museum,
a library, a herbalist's,

364
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,080
and a historic sales room.

365
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,400
Hello. Hello.

366
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,920
What are some of the oldest remedies
you have here?

367
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,880
Here, this one once was renowned
as anti-hysterical water.

368
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,040
So it was given to the brides in
past centuries to calm the nerves.

369
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:27,040
So the hysterical ladies go, like,
"Aaaaah! Oh!"

370
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,000
You just down this,
and then you become, like,

371
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,840
"Oh, I'm so peaceful now."

372
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,160
Right.
What do you want to do, husband?

373
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,920
I'll do it.

374
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,480
Is that what happens? Or these ones.

375
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,680
It's called aromatic vinegar.

376
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:46,680
OK. That was given to people
who was fainting.

377
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,040
To revive them.

378
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,920
OK. Let's see this. Yeah.

379
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,920
That'll do it. The salts. Yes!

380
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,000
SHE GAGS

381
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,680
Yes!

382
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,480
That's a cure for jet lag.

383
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,080
Yeah. I'm ready to go clubbing now.

384
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,520
Wow.

385
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,440
This is a triumph. Yeah.

386
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,440
Thank you.

387
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,440
With the new need for a kindly wind
to soothe my savaged cavities, I,

388
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,840
like Al Green and David Byrne before
me, demand to be taken to the river.

389
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,360
All right, Richard.

390
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,720
Yes. What are we going to do now?
We're going to raft.

391
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,280
Raft the Arno.

392
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,440
Whoo! Yes.

393
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,040
Adventures on the high...
That's the response. ..river.

394
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,920
This 90-min trip will see us oar

395
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,600
through a heavily landmarked
couple of the Arno's 150 miles.

396
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,960
Hi, guys. Hi, everybody. Hi!

397
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,320
Hello. Hi! Are you ready to visit
Florence from the river?

398
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,320
Yes!

399
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,480
You want to check the weather
before you do this because,
if this were raining,...

400
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,360
Pretty bloody Christmassy, though.
Yeah. Am I wrong?

401
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,080
This is a hot Christmas.

402
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,760
It's like an Australian Christmas.

403
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,240
I know. All we need is a barbecue
in the middle of this thing.

404
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,120
Yeah. And a few prawns.

405
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:03,440
But before I get a chance
to imagine some sizzling seafood,

406
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,200
our guide casually drops
some shocking intel.

407
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,200
Like you probably are understanding,
a weir is waiting for us.

408
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,880
How big drop is this weir which
you've literally just told me about?

409
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,160
Three metres. Three metres?
Yup. That's taller than me.

410
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,920
Should we have been wearing helmets?

411
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,320
Should we even be in a dinghy?

412
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,840
The weir was built to divert water
for the city's mills.

413
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,600
Oh, I can hear the drop!

414
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,440
Yeah. Can you hear that?

415
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,880
And now provides an
impenetrable barrier to our dignity.

416
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,920
OK, guys. Follow my instruction, OK?

417
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,360
Really? Oh, my God.
Is anybody else scared?

418
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,080
We can feel! Are you ready?

419
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,120
Yeah. For what?

420
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,160
What do we do?
Forward! Go, go, go, go!

421
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,560
OK. To destiny!

422
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,560
Go, go, go! This is a terrible idea!

423
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,840
Whoohoo!

424
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,080
Yes! Whoo!

425
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,040
I mean, we fell.

426
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,320
Up the paddles!

427
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,160
We did it! Whoo!

428
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,920
As a way of quelling the adrenaline
now coursing through my sinewy body,

429
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,480
I go to my safe place, Planet Fact.

430
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,440
Italian national library,
founded 1714.

431
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,880
Houses six million books.

432
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,400
Flooded in 1966,
almost lost a lot of good lit.

433
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,640
Largest library in Italy.
You're a fact machine, Richard.

434
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,240
Thank you.
Fact, paddle, fact, paddle.

435
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,080
Yeah.

436
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,600
Next, we sail under Florence's
most famous landmark.

437
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,160
We're going up to the Ponte Vecchio

438
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,840
In walled medieval cities,
space was tight,

439
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,080
so building on bridges was the norm.

440
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,320
Butchers had shops here so they
could dump their offal in the river.

441
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,680
But I'm mindful
of other projectiles.

442
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,920
I grew up in the suburbs.

443
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,960
I'm always on the watch for gobbing.
Yeah.

444
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,120
Next, we swan under the
Ponte Santa Trinita.

445
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:58,760
We're just drifting under the oldest
elliptical arch bridge in the world.

446
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,240
We can cross that off
our bucket list, too. Tick.

447
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,280
And then, at last,
lurch towards land.

448
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,840
I see the shore!

449
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,040
This is a powerful sense
of achievement.

450
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,240
And lift. OK.

451
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,880
OK. How did you find that, then?

452
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,520
Awesome. I mean, we crushed it.

453
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,800
I'm not too good
at carrying boats, though.

454
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,400
I don't know why they're making us
carry this boat all the way back.

455
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,640
Yeah, it seems like... It seems we
should just go back on the river.

456
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:28,640
That wasn't in the brochure. Aah!

457
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:33,360
As night wraps the city
in its sunless sheet,

458
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:37,360
I insist we dine in a manner
that can trump the ocular excess
of the day.

459
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:42,120
I've realised that I've come dressed
as Jeremy Corbyn.

460
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:45,080
I don't know if that's a problem.
Buona sera. Benvenuti.

461
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,840
Ah. Benvenuti. Wow.
OK, what is this place?

462
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,040
This is a silverware workshop.

463
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,280
We make chalice, we make rings,
we make cutlery.

464
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,720
Oh, rings.

465
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,720
Pre-eve, Pampaloni produces
a platter of silver produce.

466
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,640
Post-eve, the works canteen
is transformed into a restaurant.

467
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,880
It mixes glittering goblets,
artisan benches,

468
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,880
and a solid scattering of sophistos
yakking on like there's no tomorrow.

469
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,120
Wow! Oh, sorry.
Sorry. That's fine.

470
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,080
It's not bad if I knee you
in the elbow, is it?

471
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,240
No. That's OK, isn't it?
Yeah. That's polite.

472
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,640
At least it wasn't the um...
That's normal dining.

473
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:32,120
But as the starters hit the table,
my suspicion is pricked.

474
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:36,040
Did I miss a meeting?
Why has everyone got the soup?

475
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,120
All the cool people got the soup.

476
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:39,720
I'm very worried now.

477
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,240
That's a big spoon for soup.

478
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,560
I feel like I've got a silver spoon
in my mouth.

479
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,240
I mean, you really do.
This is very good.

480
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,880
It seems strange to me that
metalworkers are also cooking this.

481
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,000
How can you be great

482
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,240
at silverware,
and also great at cooking?

483
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,080
It doesn't make sense.

484
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:02,080
Why can't they just be pretty bad
at everything, like me?

485
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:03,680
You're not bad at everything.

486
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,520
Name one thing I can actually do.

487
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,560
Wear a consistent a clothing choice
on a daily basis.

488
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,440
That's not a skill. No.
A mannequin could do that.

489
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,440
Yeah, true. Now that's humiliating.

490
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,560
Insalata di polpo
and parmigiana di melanzane

491
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,560
are followed by
ravioli di mozzarella al pistachio

492
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,800
and tagliolini con gamberi rossi
di Marsala.

493
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:33,160
All the Italian
I know is from menus.

494
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:37,120
Like, pomodoro, spaghetti.

495
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:41,120
Margherita. I don't even know
that those last two count.

496
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:45,520
That's Italian. If you're saying
spaghetti is one of your Italian
words.

497
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,320
Spaghetti! You can't just do
the accent and claim it's a...

498
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,840
It truly is. Caprese...
That's like me saying "croissant!"
and saying I speak French.

499
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,000
But that's a...
No, I'm saying like actual Italian.

500
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,000
OK. Yeah. Lasagne.

501
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,840
Breadstick! No, that's not Italian.

502
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,040
Panini. Ravioli.

503
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,040
Ravioli.

504
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:08,040
Alfresco. That's not...
Al dente.

505
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,720
How have you found this as
an experience? Would you recommend?

506
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,040
Bellissimo. Good. Perfecto.

507
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,440
Yeah. I'm not sure whether I know...

508
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,480
Spaghetti. ..another Italian word.
You don't need anything else.

509
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,000
OK. The only thing we need
is the Italian for Merry Christmas.

510
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,200
Yeah. How do you say Merry Christmas
in Italian?

511
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,120
Buon natale. Buon Italy?
Buon natale.

512
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:35,000
Buon natale? Buon natale!
Buon natale. Yeah!

513
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,640
Buon natale! Buon natale!

514
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,600
Yeah! Buon natale! Cheers!

515
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,800
Buon natale! Cheers! Salute!

516
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,600
Buon natale! Buon natale!

517
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,600
Having avoided any crass
crowbarring of Christmas cheer,

518
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,920
we graciously withdraw.

519
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,920
I hope after all this fuss
about Christmas they don't delay
transmission.

520
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:57,160
As soon as the sun commands us
to rise, we will stereotype
strangers...

521
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,320
HORN BEEPS

522
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,360
Forage in the brush...
Truffle! Truffle!

523
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,800
And walk around holding a phone...

524
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,640
This is kind of like
playing Pokemon Go

525
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:14,000
but with
historical sites.

526
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,120
A-list star Rebel Wilson and I,

527
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,200
a man in a far too tight suit,

528
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,200
are at the fulcrum of a frenetically
full 48-hour flyaway in Florence.

529
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,080
We have gandered...

530
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,400
SCREAMING

531
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,680
..gasped and grubbed.

532
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,840
I feel like I've got a silver spoon
in my mouth.

533
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,360
You really do.

534
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,120
'Today begins with cappuccino,

535
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:41,040
'a beverage that under
de facto Italian coffee regs

536
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,800
'must be quaffed no later
than 11am.'

537
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,160
I don't actually drink coffee.

538
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,520
Do you not? Well, this is ideal
for you.

539
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:49,600
In 1884,

540
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,840
the first espresso machine in
the world was patented in Italy,

541
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:56,840
and this nation has set the standard
for hot, beany water ever since.

542
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,880
So strange to be near a barrister
without a beard.

543
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,360
I don't even know
whether he can handle coffee.

544
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,880
'The perfect Italian cappuccino
is 25mls espresso,

545
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,680
'followed by whole milk.
Half liquid, half foam.'

546
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,080
Right.

547
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,120
I think why I don't drink it
is cos my mum drinks it.

548
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,400
She always would have
that coffee breath.

549
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,440
It's very pleasant.
And I'd always be like, "Eurgh."

550
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,960
That's why you smell
like rose water. Hmm...

551
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,680
Yeah. Whereas I smell like...

552
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,480
Coffee. ..a failing
geography teacher.

553
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,520
If you're going to try coffee,

554
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:28,960
this is probably the place.

555
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,440
But I don't... Should I take a sip?
I don't want to be a pusher.

556
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:32,880
That's such a strong smell.

557
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,200
Yeah. All right. It's OK.

558
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,600
You're in.

559
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,080
You're through the other side.

560
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,720
Yeah? That's the face of someone
enjoying her coffee.

561
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,320
Come on!

562
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,400
No? No, not for me. Fine. No.

563
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,600
'By way of apology,

564
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,760
'I pluck out a couple of pastries
featured on these two trays.'

565
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,120
Tell me how that is.

566
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,520
Yeah. Seems good.

567
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,720
Yeah.

568
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,400
Do you want to try some? It's low...

569
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,240
Is it good?

570
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,440
It's a good one.

571
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,800
This isn't
straightforwardly Italian,

572
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,160
but I think it's worth trying.

573
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,320
Yeah, cos a croissant would be
kind of French, wouldn't it?

574
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:13,320
When custard gets involved,
who knows where it's from. Yeah.

575
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,760
Mm, that's good.
It's good. Yeah.

576
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,120
Yeah. OK. Shall we go?

577
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:21,400
We're on a... All right. Yeah, OK.

578
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:22,720
I'll just...

579
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,960
Polish that off?
..complete this, yeah. OK.

580
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,480
I'll just wait in here.

581
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,320
I'll be coming.

582
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,400
Yeah.

583
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,840
I'll be right there, Richard.

584
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,640
I'll just...

585
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,040
Scusi.

586
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,000
Can we get ten?

587
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,960
One? Ten. Ten? Yeah.

588
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,720
Yeah. OK. Just in a bag. Yeah.

589
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,720
Do you still have his credit card?
Mhm. OK.

590
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,400
'As morn continues
its post-dawn route,

591
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,440
'I suggest we flee the city
to sift through soil.'

592
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,440
We're going to go truffle hunting.

593
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,280
Yes! OK. At last.

594
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:03,880
Yes! OK. Here's our car.

595
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,720
I really... Oh, my gosh!

596
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,120
How stylish! Come on.

597
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,440
'To get to the truffle fields,

598
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,080
'I've wazzed our wad
on hiring a classic car,

599
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:17,080
'just so that we can feel
even more conspicuous.'

600
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,440
I just have one question.

601
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,320
You drive on the right.

602
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,200
Er, yeah, most of the time, yes.

603
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:27,200
On the right. And in terms of
roundabouts, who am I giving way to?

604
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,320
Er... The guys coming from the left.

605
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,720
From my left. Yeah.

606
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,320
You're ready to go. I'll almost
definitely remember some of that.

607
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,360
I hope so.

608
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,600
Let's do this. It'll be fine.

609
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,880
That's great. Grazie. Prego.

610
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,880
I'm getting so good at the Italian.
I mean, it's off the hook. Yeah.

611
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,120
I feel like
I'm an Italian movie star.

612
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,040
Buongiorno. Ciao.

613
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:54,040
I've no idea where we're going.

614
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,480
I can't believe he just
handed over the keys like that.

615
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,680
I know. I mean, look at me.

616
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,000
Going truffle hunting. I'm not safe
to drive this car.

617
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,840
He knew that. I'm no Matt le Blanc.

618
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,320
'The short journey into the hills

619
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,080
'gives us a chance to compare notes
on our impending yules.'

620
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,120
This Christmas, I'm going to
a private island.

621
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,680
Get the heck out of here.
Yeah, with some friends.

622
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,040
A private island?
Yeah, we're all flying in.

623
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,040
As in, it's like a shy island?

624
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,800
Where is the private island?

625
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,040
It's in the Pacific Ocean somewhere.

626
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,840
Good night!

627
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,000
Get a little...
One of those little tiny planes.

628
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,600
Sure. Where you fear for your life.

629
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:35,840
And then relax.

630
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:39,000
And then I'm, bang,
into filming Pitch Perfect 3.

631
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,800
I think a lot of people'll be doing
something very similar to that.

632
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,280
What are your Christmas days like?

633
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,800
Christmas days.
Well, it's London based.

634
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,760
We might kick things off
Peckham style...

635
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,480
Yeah. ..with Some air pollution.

636
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,560
Air pollution!
And... Where is Peckham?

637
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:58,240
Peckham's southeast.
Jewel of the southeast. Oh.

638
00:29:58,240 --> 00:29:59,320
It's...
GEARS WHINE

639
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,040
Oh, hello. Come on.

640
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,160
Don't give up on me now.

641
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:03,280
ENGINE REVS OUT OF GEAR

642
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,120
Oh. No, that's too much.

643
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,120
It's OK. OK.

644
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:08,480
It's all good. It's all good.

645
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:09,640
ENGINE REVVING

646
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:10,760
There we go. Yeah.

647
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,280
I'm back. Watch the jogger.

648
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,080
It was the thought
of Peckham Christmas.

649
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,960
And do you cook at Christmas?

650
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,640
I do not cook.

651
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,760
I'm sometimes allowed
to handle the brandy butter.

652
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:22,800
HORN PARPS

653
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,080
Oh!

654
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,600
ITALIAN ACCENT: I'm turning.

655
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:29,160
Does it help
with the Italian accent?

656
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:30,920
'After an effortless
five and a half miles

657
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,440
'of Steve McQueen-style driving,

658
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,400
'we rendezvous with Giulio Benuzzi,
truffle hunter,

659
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,520
'and Eda,
a creature of unparalleled
violence.'

660
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,160
Right. We're ready? We're ready!

661
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,400
Andiamo. OK. Andiamo!

662
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,520
I guess that must mean
follow him. Yeah.

663
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,400
How long have you been
truffle hunting for?

664
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,520
Now, is eight years.
Eight years! Oh!

665
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:54,240
If the Nativity had taken place
in Tuscany rather than not Tuscany,

666
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,880
perhaps one of the wise men
would have been carrying a truffle,

667
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,880
the highly-prized edible fungus.

668
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,440
What type of truffles
are we hunting for?

669
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,920
Here, black autumn truffles.

670
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,640
Even for someone of
my legendary bush craft,

671
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,320
truffles can be hard to find.

672
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,400
HE SPEAKS TO EDA IN ITALIAN

673
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,760
'But once Julio unleashes Eda's
infallible nasal receptors...

674
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,240
I get a very good feeling
from this dog.

675
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,200
..'a truffle collecting system
is initialised.'

676
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,480
Truffle.

677
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:24,680
Come on.

678
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:25,880
Brava, Eda.

679
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,240
Oh, there's one!

680
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,920
Eda, brava! Hey!
REBEL GASPS

681
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,800
'Eda starts snuffling truffles
in a delirious frenzy...'

682
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,720
Brava, brava, Eda.

683
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,120
Ohh! Look at Eda!

684
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:40,040
'..locating 120 post-Brexit euros
worth of fungi...'

685
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,640
Oh, it's big!

686
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,080
Look at Eda. Look at Eda.
Stone-faced killer.

687
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,200
"..in a matter of mins."

688
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,640
Eda's really making up her quota.

689
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,760
What, he found another one?
No, stop it, Eda.

690
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:52,960
Edda!

691
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,240
Oh, come off it, Eda.

692
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,800
Look at our stash so far.

693
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,720
Oh, she loves it.

694
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,640
I just gave her like 30 euros' worth
of truffle.

695
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,040
More. Maybe more.

696
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,720
That's quite an intense flavour.

697
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:05,840
That's incredible.

698
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,680
Surprised they don't do
Pedigree Chum in truffle flavour.

699
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,680
Truffle. Truffle! Truffle! Truffle!

700
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,440
REBEL CHEERS

701
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:15,920
Come on!

702
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,440
Please. Yeah.

703
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,400
What goes on the trail
stays on the trail.

704
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,040
Eda. I mean, congratulations.

705
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,880
What a hound! Yeah.

706
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,880
'And our sojourn in sod
does not end here.'

707
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:35,200
Because Julio knocks up
some gnocchi...

708
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,480
..before grating on
our freshly fetched garnish.

709
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,120
Wow. That's piling on the truffle.

710
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:44,120
Buon appetito. Yeah.
Thank you.

711
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:46,400
That's very good.

712
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,640
Grazia.

713
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:52,240
So, allora, I hope to see you again
in a few other seasons,

714
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,480
out here in Tuscany. Oh, yeah.

715
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,680
For me, it's only
a 14-hour flight...

716
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,280
It's just a 14-hour flight.

717
00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,440
..with a stopover in Paris.

718
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,200
What's the problem?
Why don't you come more often?

719
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,160
If I lived in England, I would.

720
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,160
It's only two and a half hours,
isn't it?

721
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,880
Let's not get into a comparison.

722
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,600
They're both flights. Yeah.

723
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,360
And they're both equally tiring.

724
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:15,760
Well...

725
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,840
This is excellent. I've never had
fresh truffle before.

726
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,960
Really? It's good. We hand...

727
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,240
..caught the truffles.

728
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,640
I've got to say, I really don't feel
I can take much credit for

729
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,920
what's happened here.
You drove us here.

730
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,280
I did.

731
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:30,760
Thank you.

732
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,880
Well, we have to press on.

733
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,000
I feel bad.

734
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,640
I feel like I'm essentially
leaving you with washing-up to do.

735
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:38,840
Mm.

736
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:41,800
But we've got a lot booked in.

737
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,320
Yeah. I'm going to have to chew
the rest of this in the car.

738
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,200
'With my belt of no further use
to me,

739
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,440
'we hop in the Alfa and roar back
to the smoke.'

740
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,840
I think the star of that was Eda.

741
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:56,400
You know, they're worth between
50 - 100,000, those dogs.

742
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,600
I mean, that's cheap for Eda.

743
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,400
I don't think you should even
be able to buy Eda.

744
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,040
Eda hires you...

745
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,440
Yeah. ..as her assistant.

746
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,040
Yeah, she chooses her owners.

747
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,600
I mean, Eda's incredible.

748
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,600
I'm going to stay in touch
with Eda.

749
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,880
Despite our already
colossal achievements,

750
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,720
we thirst for more Florentine facts.

751
00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:18,920
Look at this.
We're discovering Florence

752
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,680
the way it should be discovered.

753
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,360
By looking at a phone.

754
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,000
'This app,
developed by British historians,

755
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,000
'uses a sixth-century map of the
city inked by a Benedictine monk.'

756
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000
And now, we too
can live his journey.

757
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,200
So, it's a walking tour.

758
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,360
Yes. Your own walking tour.

759
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:38,440
You walk anywhere.

760
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,200
You don't have to pay for the person
with the little umbrella. No.

761
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,200
Let's see what they have to say.

762
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,600
A palace.

763
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,600
They've been building for
a couple of years now, stronzi.

764
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,280
Our guide is Giovanni, a fictional
worker in the wool trade,

765
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,080
who gives a proletarian perspective
on the Renaissance.

766
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,360
It's not far from where I work, and
across the street on the apothecary.

767
00:34:58,360 --> 00:34:59,920
He tells me all about it.

768
00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:02,480
This is what Danny Dyer did
in his wilderness years.

769
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,840
Look at the size
of those blocks of stone. I can see!

770
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,160
IMITATES COCKNEY ACCENT: "Look at
the size of those blocks of stone."

771
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,680
'At 17 different spots,

772
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,720
'the phone's position triggers
Giovanni to spin us a yarn

773
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:16,680
'that richly evokes the life
and character of the city.'

774
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,760
This is kind of like playing
Pokemon Go,

775
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,080
but with historical sites.

776
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,440
'At any point, there's the option to
press "Hear More"

777
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,520
and get historical context.

778
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,320
Francesca's got a head
on her shoulders.

779
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,920
The audio commentary's very
in-depth.

780
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,520
..from Trecole,
just outside the city.

781
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,640
Some of this
I don't feel I need to know.

782
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,760
OK, this is great.
He is improvising.

783
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,920
Let's go down here. All right. OK.

784
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,320
I guess this would be good

785
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,840
for people who like walking. Yes.

786
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,680
IMITATES GUIDE: "I'm walking now.
I can't believe it.

787
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,480
"Much like I would have walked
so many years ago."

788
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,000
Why does he have an English accent?

789
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,840
'Giovanni's historical nouse
is humbling.

790
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,240
'But we have to break character

791
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:58,240
in order to make way for more
commercially pressing exhortations.

792
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,560
'On our return,
we will look deep inside...'

793
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,960
I'd say this is a
second date kind of place.

794
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,360
'..tell a flat-out lie...'

795
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:06,720
It's good. Yeah.

796
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:08,200
'..and conclude a quest.'

797
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,280
OH, YES! Hey, come on.

798
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:17,000
YES! Please.

799
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,720
We enter the closing chapter

800
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:26,840
of our infrequently-festive
Florentine festival,

801
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:30,760
and as this series
of unforgettable images show,

802
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,120
we've made best endeavours
to record a respectable range

803
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,920
of the city's attractions.

804
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,280
When were we getting gelato?
Soon. That's my promise to you.

805
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,480
But as time slips
between our fingers

806
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,160
like last Tuesday's juice,

807
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:46,160
I determinedly drag Rebel to one of
Florence's more esoteric enclosures.

808
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,120
I'm glad they've got
that rhino under control.

809
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,520
Yeah. This is pretty good. Yeah.

810
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,520
This is one of the oldest
scientific museums in the world.

811
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,000
Yes. Smile like that.

812
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,000
That's right. I thought it was
a gelato place, Richard.

813
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,520
The Specola holds a staggering

814
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,640
three and a half million
stuffed animals,

815
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,000
of which just 5,000 are on display.

816
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,000
Added to that tally of taxidermy

817
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,720
is their historical collection
of anatomical waxworks...

818
00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:20,160
What the hell?

819
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,920
..created in the 17th
and 18th-century

820
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,560
for the study of the human body.

821
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:29,560
All I can say is
it's pretty Christmassy.

822
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,360
Nailed it, yeah. Let's...

823
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,360
Let's get in the festive spirit
with this guy.

824
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:40,760
That is a very specific scene.

825
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:43,640
If you're hanging out in here a lot,

826
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,640
you're probably going to ask
some questions of yourself.

827
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,720
This is a lot of fun, over here.

828
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,680
He's still got a bit of face on him.

829
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,200
I'd say this is
a second date kind of place.

830
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:57,360
Once you've got to know them.

831
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,360
I don't know if this would be good
for any kind of date. No?

832
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,320
By the way, this place is open.

833
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,520
Yeah. It's just not that popular.

834
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,520
Yeah.

835
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,520
Look at this guy.
He is out of a nightmare.

836
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,720
You know, a lot of people
go out of their way

837
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:16,520
to avoid looking at
what's inside of a person.

838
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,400
They're very superficial.

839
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:22,080
Exactly. Not us. No. Thank you.

840
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,520
And if that's not
a Christmas message,

841
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,720
I don't know what is.

842
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:29,280
# Just keep those sleigh bells
ringing... #

843
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:33,280
MUSIC: Sleigh Ride by Leroy Anderson

844
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,000
What do you think about that?

845
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,000
Not my favourite place. No? No.

846
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,560
Bit too many innards for you.

847
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,960
Inn-ards. That's how I pronounce it,
rather than inn-erds.

848
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,840
Yeah, like, sometimes it's good to
have a BLEEP part of your holiday...

849
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,200
Good. ..so that the other stuff
seems really good.

850
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,400
Thank you for that compliment.

851
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:53,600
You're welcome.

852
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,480
With our Florentine smack-down
soon to be settled,

853
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,560
we look to source souvenirs

854
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:02,560
which can later be palmed off
as presents.

855
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,360
If you come with an empty sack,

856
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,040
Florence will soon fill it
with bespoke goodness,

857
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,520
and those insisting
that things be made by hand

858
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,280
rather than efficient machines

859
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:14,480
have come to the right
post-renaissance conurbation,

860
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,480
whether they seek fish-hooks,
one and twos, or tomfoolery.

861
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,280
Is this a gelato place?

862
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,880
This is the next best thing.

863
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,880
It's what you can sometimes find
in a gelato.

864
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,400
Filistrucchi's opened in 1720.

865
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,760
They began as barbers
who's purview encompassed dentistry,

866
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:40,120
pharmacy and wigs
for nobleman and ladies.

867
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,840
Hello! Hi. Welcome to my shop.
Welcome.

868
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,640
Ah! Thank you very much.

869
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,600
Nine generations later,
Gabrielle and his son, Gerardo,

870
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,560
are still in the wig game.

871
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,280
You make the wigs yourself?

872
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,280
Yes, I make the wigs
and I am a make-up artist.

873
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,400
But you do not wear wigs?
I have. Is yours a wig?

874
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,160
And also a beard. Shut the fridge.
That's a wig? Yeah, sure.

875
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:06,160
It's perfect, eh? Looks so real.
It's the best wig I've ever seen.

876
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,000
And also this beard.

877
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,560
Yeah. Get out of town.

878
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:10,840
That's fake as well? No!

879
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,520
No, you're kidding me.
The beard's real.

880
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,240
I don't know what's up.
Yes, I'm really...

881
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:15,840
The beard's real. You're real?

882
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:18,120
Is your face real?
I'm real in the 20th century.

883
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,480
This is like Quantum Leap.
He's an Italian joker.

884
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,480
I am a very, very old... Please.
..but I am a make-up artist.

885
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,920
Hey, don't force me
into a compliment. This guy.

886
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,560
Their wigs take up to ten days
to make and are fashioned

887
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:33,520
from human or animal hair.

888
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,520
Famous Filistrucchi wearers
include titans of opera Maria Callas

889
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,600
and Luciano Pavarotti.

890
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,040
Look in the mirror. Look. See?

891
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,680
It's good. Yeah. It's like...
It's very good. Yeah.

892
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,360
Thank you. Can I try this on?

893
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,360
The beard? Yeah.
For you? Yeah, sure.

894
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,040
Does your wig smell a bit?

895
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,520
You just look like
you've powered through an animal

896
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,560
and come out the other side.

897
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,400
Hello. I'm from Florence.

898
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:08,400
I'm a lady. Also, moustache.
Oh, yeah.

899
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,320
I think
there's not enough hair on you.

900
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:14,080
The matching moustache.
I actually have an Italian auntie.

901
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:17,160
You're saying... She doesn't shave.
Wow. This reminds me of her.

902
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,040
OK. She'll be pleased to hear that.
Yeah.

903
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:21,680
Merry Christmas. Oh, this is...

904
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,400
What? Merry Christmas.
That's a whole head. That's...

905
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:25,840
Wow!

906
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,760
Put that in a box. Yeah.

907
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,240
Give it to your sister.
Merry Christmas.

908
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:32,560
That's excellent. Yeah.

909
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,120
What a lovely and thoughtful gesture
that would be on Christmas Day.

910
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:40,000
And then... Ah!

911
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,200
It's the detail.

912
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,440
This is lovely.

913
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,840
This has been a great
Christmas experience right here.

914
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,400
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

915
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,680
Thank you very much.

916
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,760
That guy is closing deals
in this town.

917
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:55,280
I think I could have
picked up in there.

918
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:59,280
Hey. More than just a wig, if you
know what I'm talking about. Please.

919
00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:03,640
Our definitive investigation of
Florence is nearing it's denouement,

920
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,600
and as a reward for good behaviour,

921
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:09,520
I graciously allow Rebel
to pick our final destination.

922
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,280
Oh! Yes! Hey. Yes! Come on.

923
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:17,280
Please. OK. Prego. Pronto.

924
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:22,080
What are you having, flavour-wise?

925
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:26,080
You know what? I might go with
the fruit flavour...

926
00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:29,080
Yeah. ..because I feel like
that's a more healthy option. Yes.

927
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,720
Fine. Yeah. Hi.

928
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:34,680
Hi. Hi. Hello.
Can we have two gelatos?

929
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,680
Yes. The biggest one...

930
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,200
That you have. ..you have.

931
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,200
Both cones? Yeah. Both cones.

932
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,840
Could I get please
lemon and strawberry? Of course.

933
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,320
That's very healthy. Yeah. Good.

934
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,200
Oh, she's loading it up.
This is a six-scoop affair.

935
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,080
Oh, great. Wow. And for you, sir?

936
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:56,080
Could I have choc chip
on the bottom,

937
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:57,640
strawberry on the top, please?

938
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,480
Strawberry for you, too.
Thank you.

939
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,840
It's so great they've got
the Christmas decorations up.

940
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,560
Oh, it's... It's almost as if
they've been briefed. Yeah.

941
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,920
I need to make sure that
I stop leaving my glasses

942
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,480
out on the streets...

943
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,360
..cos otherwise I've got a...

944
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,720
It's a choice between
being able to see...

945
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,960
Yeah. ..or looking like
I'm undercover.

946
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,880
You could get laser eye surgery,
you know.

947
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:21,840
You can smell it burning,
apparently.

948
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,040
Oh. Prego. Grazie.

949
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:25,360
Grazie mille.

950
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,960
Hey? Keep the change.

951
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,240
Thank you. You're so kind.
Thank you. Have a good day. Bye.

952
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,920
We don't know how to say that last
bit in Italian. Yeah. Oh, thank you.

953
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,520
Let's go and assess.

954
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,440
Two sextuple cones
rounds out a wad drop

955
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:40,400
of ?720 a head, excluding flights.

956
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,000
I immediately called my tax advisers

957
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,040
to see whether
a deeply Christmassy mini break,

958
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,160
rammed with rafts, art,
anatomy and food

959
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:49,880
can legally be categorised as work.

960
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,880
Buon Natale. Cheers. Buon Natale.
Buon Natale.

961
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:57,520
Well, that war of attrition
has been won.

962
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,760
Yeah. We finally got the gelato.
That's right. You got it. Cheers.

963
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:04,280
Is that even Viking? I don't know.

964
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,160
So, how do you feel?

965
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:07,880
Do you feel that we did enough?

966
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,440
I feel like I'm finally
over my jet lag... Good.

967
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,920
..just as I'm about to now
fly back to Los Angeles

968
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,800
and get more jet lag. That's ideal.
Mm.

969
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:20,800
If I had to press you
to list highlights...

970
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:23,240
OK. ..what would you start with?

971
00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:26,200
For me, I'm more like
an experience girl.

972
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,880
OK. Like, the rafting.

973
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,680
OK. The truffle hunting.

974
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,520
Yes. Dinner in the silver factory.

975
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,680
Yes. Yeah. For me, they were, like,
probably my highlights.

976
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,920
OK. What about you?

977
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:41,240
Well, I did like the Botticelli.

978
00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:44,120
Yeah. I did like a seeing David.

979
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,880
They're classics.
I quite liked those two wig guys.

980
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,200
I feel like if we'd managed
to spend more time with them...

981
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,200
Yeah. ..we would have
heard some things.

982
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,280
I think they quite liked me,
as well.

983
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,280
They did both give me
their phone numbers.

984
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:58,360
If you had to get a wig from one,
who would you get one from?

985
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,000
Maybe the one with hair.
The guy with the hair.

986
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,360
He was a curious fellow.

987
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:05,680
But overall, this is a good city,

988
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:09,240
and they have every reason to feel
pretty pleased with themselves.

989
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:12,720
I'd personally love to come back.
I'd love to rent a villa.

990
00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:15,800
Yes. You, Clooney.
Eat and drink. Yeah.

991
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,200
Well, all I can say,
I suppose, is happy Christmas.

992
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,480
Happy Christmas.

993
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,840
Now, before we go... Yes.

994
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,400
..seeing as it is Christmas...

995
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:26,480
Clearly.

996
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,200
..um, I actually bought you
a Christmas present.

997
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,360
This is kind. So...

998
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:33,240
Thank you.

999
00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:34,800
Wow. ..here it is.

1000
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,480
This is very nice.

1001
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,720
It's to commemorate our time
in Florence. OK.

1002
00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:40,600
Do you want me to hold your gelato?

1003
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,080
You get your hands off my gelato.

1004
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,000
This is a special blend. Yeah.

1005
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:49,000
This is in Italian. OK. I've already
dripped some gelato juice onto it.

1006
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,880
You've already dripped gelato
on the gift. Oh, come on. OK.

1007
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,000
It's a commemorative goblet.

1008
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,960
Yep. Wow. Ta-da!
There's two, actually.

1009
00:45:57,960 --> 00:45:59,280
That's excellent.

1010
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:03,120
And do I need to return this
immediately after this shot

1011
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:04,280
or can I keep it?

1012
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:05,880
No, it's a gift to you.

1013
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:09,680
This is not a loan? No.
That's very kind.

1014
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:13,680
All I'm saying is don't look
on eBay for the next month.

1015
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,880
Cos... What's this? That's a good...
That's a decent whack.

1016
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,240
Yeah. I mean, they're heavy.

1017
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:19,440
I'm ashamed to say that

1018
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,920
you're currently eating
your Christmas present.

1019
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,640
This is my Christmas present? Yeah.

1020
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,160
And in proportion to our incomes,
this is probably the same cost.

1021
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,520
So, in a way, that's good.

1022
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,080
Yeah. Thanks.

1023
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:55,000
Subtitles by Ericsson

1024
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,000
</P></Sync> </Body>