1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:07,920 This series of programmes is about a man's climb to a sort of fame, 2 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,760 and the effect it had on his life. 3 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,400 Fred Dibnah, the Bolton steeplejack, was 40 4 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:31,160 when, back in 1978, he took part in the first of 19 films 5 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:35,520 which would record the ups and downs of his career. 6 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:40,800 From his earliest days, Fred had set his heart on a life at the top. 7 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:49,880 When I were a very small boy, and I used to go to school on the tram, 8 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:56,920 you would see little fellas with flat caps, way up in t'sky on top of factory chimneys. 9 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:02,560 It fascinated me as to how they got all the platforms up round the top. 10 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,400 And life passed by, like, 11 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,720 and I, er, passed a scholarship to the art school, 12 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,520 where my attitude to life changed. 13 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:17,240 I thought I'd end up with a clean-hand job, you know? 14 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,840 Well, they had different ideas. 15 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:25,160 They said, "You're good with hammer and chisel. Be a cabinet-maker." 16 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:30,120 So they sent me to an undertaker's, you see, where... 17 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:36,920 Bloody hell, all them boxes! And trestles. Even the undertaker himself looked like a corpse! 18 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,760 So I thought, "I don't fancy this." 19 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:44,800 So I got on me bike and went to t'Youth Employment Office. 20 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:49,520 They said, "We've got a good job joinering." So I became a joiner. 21 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:56,200 At t'weekend, I'd go out pointing houses, and I got enough money to buy five ladders. 22 00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:01,680 One day, lo and behold, the vicar of Bolton, Canon Norburn, rung up. 23 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:07,760 "Will you come and look at me church tower?" It were the biggest thing in town. 24 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,560 BELL PEALS 25 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,120 All the other vicars round the town, 26 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:19,120 I could waltz in and see them, knowing I'd been allowed to have a go at that. 27 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,760 I could do their lesser churches. 28 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:27,640 Then, after that, I've never been out of work since. It made me day! 29 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:34,360 # Praise God, from whom all blessings flow; 30 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:40,600 # Praise Him, all creatures here below; 31 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:46,760 # Praise Him above, ye heavenly host; 32 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:54,680 # Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. # 33 00:02:56,120 --> 00:03:00,800 Fred's opening move in the factory chimney side of the business 34 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:05,040 had been to clap a little one on his mother's house! 35 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:10,200 For the rest of her life he had to sweep it, because nobody else would. 36 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:17,960 Where have you been? We're doing our best. It'll be done smartly. As speedily as possible. 37 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:25,160 How long has it been smoking? Oh, a month or two. A month or two?! Why didn't you tell me? 38 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,000 You normally do, don't you? 39 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:34,880 Pardon? You normally cause bother... You've not time to do anything for me! Oh, I know. 40 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,640 Right, stick it up, Donald. 41 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,440 We've got it a bit... 42 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:01,720 MOTHER: He's not a bricklayer, but he built that. 43 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,760 Ooh, it was awful. I didn't want him to do that. 44 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:10,480 The Evening News came round to take the photograph when I was at work. 45 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:19,400 I built this chimney when I were about 17 years old. 46 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:27,520 We had a stack like the one next door, with five pots on. Four were disused and smoke only went up one. 47 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:33,000 I thought, "We'll take these four down and build a chimney stack." 48 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:38,040 I didn't design it. I just built it. It just ended up that shape! 49 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:43,800 Everybody said I were crazy! But it's never cracked. 50 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:50,840 And it's got a lovely draught on it. Suck your house slippers off, when it's going at t'bottom! 51 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,320 He went to art school. 52 00:04:55,320 --> 00:05:01,080 When he was 17 you'd think he'd work in an office, not doing what he does. 53 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,360 LOUD WHOOSH 54 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,080 Miaow! 55 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:19,680 It's not so pleasant on a Monday morning, when it's cold, the wind's blowing and you look up, 56 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:23,360 and you think, "Oh, good God!" and so on! 57 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,960 This year, it's been windy nearly every day. 58 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,880 I don't think we've had a month 59 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,400 when the weather's been decent. 60 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:38,400 It's either been blowing a force nine, or raining, or... COUGHS 61 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,960 ..snowing, or freezing cold. 62 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,400 So you suffer. 63 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,120 Summer's best, when t'sun's shining, 64 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:51,000 and everybody down below's all sweating away inside, 65 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,760 and you're up there with a nice, cool breeze blowing. Beautiful! 66 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:04,600 This particular job - I've got the contract for £7,000 to knock it down, a brick at once, 67 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,200 right down to the bottom. 68 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,160 WIND HOWLS 69 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:18,200 The reason for the price were I didn't really want the job. 70 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,200 If it had been a repair job, 71 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:26,520 which, you know, on average takes a month, five weeks, it's not so bad. 72 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:31,640 But when it comes into months and months, it's a bit different. 73 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:38,600 Furthermore, when there's only one of you, and such a gigantic pile of bricks, 74 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,000 you need a stout heart to take it on. 75 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:54,440 The Briary here - there's too many buildings to drop the thing, or blow it up, as some people do. 76 00:06:54,440 --> 00:07:01,320 The chairman of Courtaulds won't let it be blown up, so I've got to knock it down a brick at once. 77 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:08,560 Now we're in with a chance to get summat done. We've got everything working according to how it should. 78 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,200 Like the chute at the bottom. 79 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:15,880 You can have trouble if you don't get the plates right. 80 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:20,800 They get bunged up and the bloke at the bottom has to clear the bricks. 81 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:28,080 You've got to make sure he's out the way, cos if you drop one and it hits him on t'neck, he's dead! 82 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:38,040 Really, you're dicing with death with a rotten old top on the chimney. 83 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,800 There's been a lot of men died fiddling with them things. 84 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,840 I've never fell off a big chimney. 85 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,720 You only fall off one of them once! 86 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:56,720 One day, I fell off a pair of steps in a little girl's bedroom. 87 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:01,640 I landed on a drilling machine and knocked meself unconscious. 88 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:08,560 I don't remember much about it, but t'morning after I couldn't get out of bed. 89 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:15,960 I had to stay there for three weeks! That's about the only injury I've ever done meself. 90 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:21,600 Donald, my labourer down there, he's a very important man. 91 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:26,520 You've got to have a man who's got a reasonable amount in grey matter. 92 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:31,480 Like here, this noise of these fans going, it's impossible to shout. 93 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:38,400 If you get some young lad, his heart can be in t'right place, but if he sees a girl, 94 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:44,160 he wanders away when you need him. You look down and he's gone! 95 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:50,160 In the past, like, I've had lots of labourers. Some drank rather a lot. 96 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,000 Sort of led me astray, in a way! 97 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,280 Donald, he's a staunch teetotaller, 98 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:03,760 so in lots of ways he's a good ambassador for me. He keeps me out of the pub! 99 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:16,360 Look at that! Summat gone wrong with it, Donald! It is that, Fred! 100 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:26,920 The bricks are coming out at t'hole all right, aren't they? 101 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,440 Cheese butties again! 102 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:47,000 I don't think we'll get a yard a day off. No. 103 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:51,080 Just about time for doing holidays. I'll be lucky. 104 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:56,200 I get fed up if I keep looking up there, you know? 105 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,320 Most steeplejacks I know, 106 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:11,840 people come and say, "He were always drunk when he went up!" 107 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:16,120 I wouldn't say that I've ever done it drunk, 108 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:23,000 but if you're banging away with a big hammer all day, a few pints don't do you any harm. 109 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:27,880 It sort of kills the pain, there's no doubt about that. 110 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:33,160 I've had characters work for me who in a morning, at nine o'clock, like, 111 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:38,040 they've got the shakes and have a hell of a job getting up. 112 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:46,040 But after they'd had about five pints at dinner time, they were quite full of beans! 113 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:51,400 In 20 years, I've only ever had two calamities. 114 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:58,520 One were a load of bricks fell on top of a blacksmith's shop and completely demolished it. 115 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:03,240 And I thought, "This is the end of my steeplejacking career!" 116 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,920 I can laugh now, but I didn't then! 117 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:10,440 When I come down, I were shaking all over! In the pub! 118 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:16,960 But Mr Courtauld decided that what I'd wrecked weren't worth keeping anyway, 119 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:21,720 so there were only a very small claim off the insurance people. 120 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:29,440 Now, I have to have a third party insurance policy for people like Courtaulds. 121 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:33,800 If I kill one of their operatives, I'm in dire trouble! 122 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:38,560 I mean, they'd commandeer me traction engine or summat! 123 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:47,680 Insurance men and me don't mix, you know? 124 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:50,480 The thing is, I don't intend dying. 125 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:57,920 It's a bit like being a motor car racer, or this fella who jumps over cliffs on his motorbike. 126 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:03,440 I bet he's not got life insurance! If he has, it'll cost him a fortune. 127 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,520 No, I don't really bother with that side of it. 128 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:14,800 I know one thing - I ain't gonna die... There's no doubt I'm gonna die in bed with me boots on! 129 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,920 Has anybody rung up today? 130 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:32,760 No. I went to town this morning, shopping. 131 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,040 Spending all me money again? 132 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:41,520 Mummy, there HAS been a man rung up for Daddy, when Jane phoned. 133 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,160 That's right. He didn't leave any name. 134 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:49,840 What did he sound like? I never spoke to him... 135 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,280 Happy at work, devoted family man, 136 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:56,960 Fred had a competing interest to which he was addicted - 137 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:04,240 this 1912 Aveling and Porter steamroller, which had taken him 14 years to rebuild. 138 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:11,400 This thing and me - it's a "death do us part" job, 139 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:16,080 because it's nearly caused divorce and much upset in the household, 140 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,120 and no holidays and all that. 141 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:24,600 "You love your bloody steamroller more than you love me!" and that. 142 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:32,960 A lot of men who have these things go through it, especially the ones who have one engine and one wife! 143 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:40,320 Me wife complains that I spend more time here than I do over there in the house, you see. 144 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:45,120 I suppose in a way it's better than being down the pub all night, 145 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:49,680 or out womanising, or breaking and entering or summat! 146 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:56,320 Well, it never had a name when I got it. 147 00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:03,760 So we were gonna christen it. When it made loads of row, I thought, "We'll call it Thunderbolt!" 148 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:09,720 Then I thought I might gain some grace if I call it after the wife. 149 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:15,760 I keep telling her, "It's not every woman who's got a steamroller named after her." 150 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,120 WHISTLE BLOWS 151 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:23,280 CLATTERS LOUDLY 152 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:56,600 Oh, steeplejacking's a bit of a spasmodic job. 153 00:14:56,600 --> 00:15:00,880 So you can play with your steam engine instead. 154 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,600 It's a bit like being very rich. 155 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:08,960 You know, you can just have a day off when you want, like. 156 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:25,800 Lots of people who I've come to know over the years with the chimneys say, 157 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:32,120 "You spend too much time playing with your steam engine! You should get our job done." 158 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,200 Which in some ways is very true. 159 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:40,440 I have neglected me business and, well, everything, really, 160 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,480 for the sake of ten ton of iron. 161 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,440 WHISTLE BLOWS 162 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,000 Well, the job is getting more urgent now. 163 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:55,120 You've about 30 or 40 feet to point and one or two bands want replacing. 164 00:15:55,120 --> 00:16:01,600 Really, we've got to get you on the job. We can't wait much longer. Don't worry! 165 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,720 I'll... But I am worried, because we want to get this job put right. 166 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:13,760 We've got the mill in good order, and we want the chimney in good order. Nothing will fall off. Good. 167 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:18,800 I'll be here as soon as the last few bricks at the Lilac have gone. 168 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:24,760 You will have me then till your job's finished. I won't go nowhere else. Good. 169 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,080 Morning, Lenny. 170 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:38,800 When could you do the job for us? This is another problem. It would be towards next winter. 171 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:45,440 There again, if summer's nice and healthy, we might end up here pretty quick. 172 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:50,080 Could you complete it by the end of October? Possibly. 173 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,600 TOOTS WHISTLE 174 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,040 Morning, Mr Shephard. All right? 175 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:02,120 Fred managed to keep his engine in coal and his head above water 176 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,840 with some big chimney felling jobs. 177 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,880 On a Sunday in 1979, he did one at Rochdale, 178 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,960 which, unforeseeably, set him on the road to fame. 179 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,520 Fred, these two chimneys want dropping. 180 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:21,160 When you've got rid of t'mill, there'll be plenty of room. 181 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,120 I come the other day and had a look. 182 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:31,360 There's an house over there on that corner. If we can keep it away from that... Go towards the canal side. 183 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:36,880 And we don't block t'canal up as well! Make sure we don't! 184 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:41,320 Why not try and do both at t'same time?! 185 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,280 Two for the price of one(?) Oh, aye. 186 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,000 Mmm. Well. 187 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:51,920 Four hundred for t'little 'un, and five hundred for t'big 'un. 188 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:58,960 That's the cheapest you can do, is it? Oh, aye. Aye. You'll soon be a millionaire at that rate! 189 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:03,960 Yeah, I think I can manage them without blocking t'canal up, 190 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,320 doing any damage, breaking windows. 191 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,840 My main competition is the dynamite men. 192 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:18,280 When it comes to felling a chimney, they'll come along and, you know, blow it up in half a day. 193 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,360 So they only need... quarter of t'money I want. 194 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:27,880 So that's why, on television, every one you see going down is blown up. 195 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:35,000 There's none of them done with the pit props and the big fire like they did it in 1899. 196 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:42,120 Which, um...you know, I like doing it that way, cos it's more spectacular, and it's, um... 197 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,800 You get a bit of a build-up to it. 198 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:49,360 Whereas when you press that plunger, boom, that's it. 199 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:53,840 It's over with. You've not really done so much. 200 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:58,960 You've destroyed something that it took a few men a long time to erect. 201 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:06,240 A lot of hard, bloody sweat and labour. When they finished it off, no doubt, they put a Union Jack up. 202 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,920 You've blown it up pressing a button. 203 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:16,800 Whereas if you've got to hack your way through three foot of brickwork at the bottom, 204 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:21,840 with a few hundred ton squeezing on it, it's not died too easy, has it? 205 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,760 CHISELLING 206 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:53,360 It's unbelievable, this! We shouldn't be here today, really! 207 00:19:55,440 --> 00:20:03,640 I've had instances where people have come, where I've wanted a couple of hundred pounds, for £25! 208 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:10,400 Madmen, you know? No pit props, nothing. Just chop the bottom out, like a tree. 209 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:15,680 They don't know to an hour when it's gonna go. Just keep bashing. 210 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:21,040 And when it's creaking and groaning, just run over the road! 211 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:25,960 You don't need anything - only a sledgehammer and a bit of lunacy - 212 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,680 and you're in business! 213 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,040 Then you come on the insurance men. 214 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:43,920 They'll send some little lad out from their office, who's never seen a chimney fall down, 215 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,600 and he's gotta work out the risks. 216 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:54,240 By the time it's gone back to HQ, it could have been Groucho Marx knocking it down. Which upsets me. 217 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:59,040 When I think of all the ones I've done that have gone OK, 218 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,640 and yet the premiums keep going up all the time. 219 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,320 Well, I've nearly given them up now. 220 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:11,400 There's nowt in t'way I'll do it and take it on me own back. Good luck to them men. 221 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:17,240 I mean, they've got big Jags and pinstripe suits, and what have I got? 222 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,000 Second-hand bloody Army Land Rover. 223 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,080 I just about manage to keep that going! 224 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,240 DRILLING 225 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:45,280 Some years ago, I were doing one that when you come home at night, 226 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:52,240 I thought, "Christ! I hope the bugger goes right!" Because we'd only got 60ft to get it in. 227 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:59,680 I came home and I'm having me tea in the kitchen, and it come on the TV, "Here's one that went wrong." 228 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,400 I knew it were summat up in t'chimney line. 229 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:11,120 I run in t'front room just in time to see this factory chimney, chhhh, straight through the mill! 230 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:18,800 Just been kitted out for a three-shift system. It's still shut, that mill, somewhere in Yorkshire. 231 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:23,920 Chopped the mill in half! Well, them were the dynamite men. 232 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:30,120 Well, how do you think I should feel after that? When I've gotta do this one... 233 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:35,200 They'd got a field to get theirs in. I'd gotta get it down a 60ft slot. 234 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:41,360 From that day to the Sunday that we did it, my nervous system weren't too good! 235 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,920 HAMMERING 236 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,920 A bit more wood round this side. 237 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,000 Plenty wood on there. 238 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,840 Morning. 239 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:35,160 We'll give it a general sousing over after. 240 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,560 Ooh, yeah. Yeah, we'll hear it roar. 241 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:48,080 Fred! What, love? How are you going on? All right, love. 242 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,640 How are you? 243 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:56,720 We'll be safe over there, won't we? I hope so! Yeah, I think so. 244 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:01,360 D'you want me to light it, like I usually do, or not? 245 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:06,280 I usually light it, and then he... Leave me alone! I don't know! 246 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:11,320 Then he takes it off me. Oh, light the fire, you mean? Mmm. Yeah, yeah. 247 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,080 Oh, he's panicking like buggery. 248 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:25,440 Who do you mean? The Welsh fella. The factory inspector. Everything's beautiful. 249 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:30,480 You don't think it's gonna go that way? The wind's blowing that way. 250 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:35,840 "If it goes backwards," he says. It's a three million to one chance! 251 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:41,000 He says, "What's in that tank?" I don't bloody know. He asked me too. 252 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,040 He's nervous. Anyway, that having been said, 253 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:49,920 we will let you know when we've got all the evacuation done. 254 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:55,000 We're sealing this road off. Yeah. With white incident tape. 255 00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:03,360 Can we have everybody out, please? Beyond the white tape. 256 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,480 A DOG BARKS 257 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:25,480 Let it get going. Turn it round a bit. 258 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:30,400 That's it. Great. Now, then, right in t'middle, there. 259 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,200 Right, you can give it to me now. 260 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,640 Thank you. 261 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,960 Bloody thing won't burn! 262 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,960 Won't be long now. 263 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,440 D'you see it moving? The stick? 264 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,280 That stick? 265 00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,680 I hope the bloody thing goes. 266 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,200 It's going! Going! 267 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,640 HE SOUNDS A HOOTER 268 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,840 Do you like that? 269 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,920 Right in the right shop, innit? 270 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,560 Give us a kiss, love! 271 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,040 Are you all right? 272 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:53,160 It were a good 'un. I knew it. I had every ounce of confidence in that one. We just got it right. 273 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:37,400 Subtitles by Judith Russell BBC Scotland, 1996