1 00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:17,170 (WIRELESS) ♪ LOUIS ARMSTRONG: On The Sunny Side 2 00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,610 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 3 00:01:01,090 --> 00:01:03,410 Hello. Bournemouth 2353. 4 00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:07,290 Yes, Gerald Durrell is my son. 5 00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,650 Gerry? 6 00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:27,370 (DOOR SLAMS) 7 00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:29,090 Mrs Durrell... 8 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,370 You have just caned my son! 9 00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:35,850 In a just society, you would be tied to a tree and whipped 10 00:01:35,890 --> 00:01:37,930 for beating an innocent child! 11 00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:41,810 He would rather feed the rats behind the cricket pavilion than attend his classes. 12 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:43,650 Yes, because he's been bullied, 13 00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:46,210 ever since arriving at this pitiful school! 14 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,770 And why do you think that is, dear? 15 00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:52,970 Because... he's a bit different. 16 00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:56,330 That's why children are bullied, you moron. 17 00:01:56,370 --> 00:02:00,290 It's easy to see where his incivility comes from. 18 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,330 Don't use that language! 19 00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:06,210 Don't instruct me. I am not one of your witless flunkies. 20 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,490 No offence, I'm sure you would be lovely... 21 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,290 if you were allowed to be. 22 00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:14,130 The purpose of education is to draw the best out of children, 23 00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:16,330 not to beat fear into them. 24 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:20,850 A father would no doubt have ironed out more of their shortcomings. 25 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,930 I look forward to a letter of apology. 26 00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:25,930 Oh, he won't be returning. 27 00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:27,850 I'd rather he were taught by monkeys. 28 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,690 Mum, I'd love that. Can we do that? 29 00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:32,730 Don't be daft, Gerry. 30 00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:47,490 Ow! 31 00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:49,970 What do you mean, I'm a bit different? 32 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:42,610 (SLURPS) 33 00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:44,650 (DOOR SHUTS) 34 00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:49,530 How could you have stood by and let me become an estate agent? 35 00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,570 I am a writer. 36 00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:54,210 You don't actually write, though, do you, darling? 37 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,650 - Yes, I'm a fashion model. - Fighter pilot. 38 00:03:57,850 --> 00:04:00,290 Oh, by the way, I've left school. 39 00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:01,970 No, you haven't. 40 00:04:02,010 --> 00:04:03,690 If Gerry can do it, so can I. 41 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:06,610 Anyway, I've taken my uniform into the garden and shot it, so... 42 00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:09,490 I might as well leave too. I'm as thick as two short planks. 43 00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:11,610 As soon as I can find a husband, I'll be off. 44 00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:13,650 What is the matter with all of you? 45 00:04:13,690 --> 00:04:15,690 Roger? 46 00:04:15,730 --> 00:04:19,370 Here he is, the unteachable leading the untrainable. 47 00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:24,570 We should go to Corfu. 48 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:26,810 I've been. 49 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,290 Corfu Castle. I'm not going back till they put a roof on it. 50 00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:32,090 It's CORFE Castle, darling. 51 00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:35,050 Jesus, Margo! No, Corfu's a Greek island! 52 00:04:35,090 --> 00:04:36,930 I told you I was dim. 53 00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:38,290 (PLATE SMASHES) 54 00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:41,010 Darling, you are NOT dim! 55 00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,450 You're 16. What's all this about a husband? 56 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:45,170 My friend Donald lives in Corfu. 57 00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:47,290 He says it's dirt cheap, so I can write there, 58 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:51,010 full of disgusting animals for Gerry and, Leslie, you can shoot them. 59 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,810 - Hey, Margo... - I'll pack. 60 00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:54,690 We are not going anywhere. 61 00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:57,490 We can't just run away from our problems. 62 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:08,810 Good afternoon, Mrs Durrell. 63 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,530 Oh! Louisa, please. 64 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:13,610 Indeed. We widowed folk must stick together. 65 00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:15,930 You should come and have that sherry. 66 00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:17,690 Yes, I should. 67 00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:20,090 Since I've retired, I've played a lot of bowls. 68 00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,890 Do you play? 69 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,930 If only I had the time... 70 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,690 and the bowls. 71 00:05:25,730 --> 00:05:27,450 Let me speak plainly? 72 00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:31,770 You are an attractive lady and I am an attractive man. 73 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,010 The children need a father figure... 74 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,930 ...and I'm a big admirer of boarding schools. 75 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,650 Come on! (CHUCKLES) 76 00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:17,770 (SIGHS) 77 00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:26,570 (DOOR OPENS) 78 00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:37,650 Oh! 79 00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,690 Hello. 80 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,770 Why are you so miserable? 81 00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:50,370 Perhaps it's because I thought I was a good mother 82 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:54,770 and yet all I've managed to do is bring up one unteachable son, 83 00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:59,050 one psychopath, one vacuous daughter and you. 84 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,850 What's wrong with me? 85 00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:04,610 And worse than that, none of you seems happy. 86 00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:07,490 There's no laughter in this house any more. 87 00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:10,090 A writer shouldn't be happy. It's counter-productive. 88 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,730 (SIGHS) You're not a writer, darling. You sell houses. 89 00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:14,770 It's a flag of convenience. 90 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:18,970 What about you? You drink like a fish, 91 00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:21,010 if fish drank gin. 92 00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:30,090 And I know we've got money problems. 93 00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:32,410 There are no secrets in this family. 94 00:07:34,690 --> 00:07:37,050 There are secrets, actually. 95 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,970 Oh, God, you're not dying, are you? 96 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:41,450 No, I'm not dying. 97 00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:46,770 The secret is... 98 00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:50,850 ...that I can't live like this any more. 99 00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:56,330 When you were all small, it was like we were on a journey, 100 00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:58,210 always moving forward. 101 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,570 And now we've stopped moving forward 102 00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:03,610 and we are sinking. 103 00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:11,650 So, for once in my life, Larry, I have decided... 104 00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:14,850 ...to take your advice. 105 00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:19,890 Which advice? 106 00:09:06,370 --> 00:09:08,370 (HUBBUB) 107 00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:11,290 (SPEAKS GREEK) 108 00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:30,970 You know, a taxi would probably cost the same as a banana in Bournemouth. 109 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:33,090 We should start as we mean to go on. 110 00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:35,130 Wanting to kill each other? 111 00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:37,010 Economising. 112 00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:39,130 Look, I can see the village 113 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:41,170 up ahead. Look. 114 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,890 You are not serious. 115 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:47,810 Now, look, the house sale barely covered our debts. 116 00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:49,850 We have no money. 117 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,850 I have a miserly widow's pension. 118 00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:54,130 - You are a miserly widow. - Be quiet! 119 00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:56,730 And you all earn precisely nothing. 120 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,770 We are not on holiday. 121 00:09:58,810 --> 00:10:01,170 We are here to live like local people, 122 00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:03,410 in joy and togetherness, 123 00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:06,690 without the trappings of so-called civilisation, 124 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,490 which, as far as I can tell, 125 00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:11,450 basically means cruelty and alienation. 126 00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:14,290 It's going to be wonderful. 127 00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,330 (HORN HOOTS) 128 00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:20,650 Don't talk to him. Everybody here only speaks Greek, anyway. 129 00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,290 - Hi. You peoples want a taxi? - No. 130 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,850 - Yes. - Absolutely. 131 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,410 - Where are you going? - We like walking. 132 00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:30,330 Ignore her. We're going to that guesthouse in the far, far distance. 133 00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:32,090 - That's a nice motor. - It's American. 134 00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,810 Nothing like it on Corfu. 135 00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:36,290 - Spiros Halikiopoulos. - Leslie. 136 00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:38,690 - Margo. - Larry. 137 00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:41,290 I'm... Mrs Durrell. 138 00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:43,330 The mother. 139 00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:45,330 The most important person. 140 00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:47,370 I'll get your luggage. 141 00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:50,410 - Where's Gerry? - Gerry? 142 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,770 - There's a lizard. - It's a tree with a lizard on it. 143 00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:57,090 - How could that possibly be interesting? - Gerry! 144 00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:03,450 You's very pale. 145 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,930 - Yes, we plan to a lot of sunbathing. - No, we don't. 146 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:08,570 - It's the main reason we came here. - No, it isn't. 147 00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:11,690 - How long are you staying? - We don't know. 148 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:14,850 But, well, we don't have a house to go back to in England. 149 00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:19,170 Honest to God, if I wasn't Greek, I'd like to be English. 150 00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:21,250 Oh. Thank you. 151 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:30,650 Oh, this must be it. 152 00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:34,650 No, you don't stay here. Too expensive. 153 00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:37,850 Lots of empty houses on the island. I'll find you one. 154 00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:40,650 Yes. Good. 155 00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:47,690 (SPEAKS GREEK) 156 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,730 (SHOUTS ANGRILY) 157 00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:01,330 (BOTH LAUGH) 158 00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,370 Mrs Durrells! Come! 159 00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:24,740 Gerry! There's a zoo in the lavatory! 160 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:34,500 Wow! 161 00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,220 I'm sleeping in the lavatory! 162 00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:50,660 I can't believe the Customs let you through with those. 163 00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:54,500 I just think they know self-defence is vital in today's unsure world. 164 00:12:56,060 --> 00:13:00,300 - I think you should marry Spiros. - I don't want to marry again. 165 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:02,340 - But he was wearing a wedding ring... - Oh. 166 00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:05,700 ...and he had a photograph of his wife and children on the dashboard. 167 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,860 I thought that was the Greek royal family. 168 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,980 Why would he have a photo of them? 169 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:13,740 - Where's the...? - Oh, there's no electricity on Corfu. 170 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:15,780 (CHUCKLES) 171 00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:25,260 (SCREAMS) 172 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:29,460 (YELLS IN GREEK) 173 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,620 I get some more discounts, Mrs Durrells. 174 00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:56,100 Ah, we really need to get some beds. 175 00:13:56,140 --> 00:13:57,580 (BARKING) 176 00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,540 Gerry? Gerry? Wellingtons. 177 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,700 - Why? - The snakes. 178 00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:04,500 Here. 179 00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,820 Oh... and this. 180 00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:08,380 - What? - So you can be seen. 181 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,540 - Mum, I'm sure it's fine. - There we are. 182 00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:14,820 And er... 183 00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:16,900 don't... do anything. 184 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,980 Bye! 185 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,340 Bye, Mother. See you later. 186 00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:23,380 Oh. Margo! 187 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,100 - Show me. - What? 188 00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:29,140 You know what. 189 00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:35,180 Margo, this is not Bournemouth. 190 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,220 I know. I presume that's why we're here. 191 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:39,260 The Greeks can be very conservative. 192 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,420 In my day, young ladies avoided the sun. 193 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,820 Well, in my day, which is now, we don't. 194 00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:45,860 Book? 195 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,180 Good girl. And don't just use it as a pillow. 196 00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,060 LARRY: Right. Starting now. 197 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,220 (TYPEWRITER CLATTERS) At last. 198 00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:08,260 Oh, Leslie, will you help me, darling, with the... 199 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:10,660 I'm afraid not. I'm too busy. 200 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,740 Erm... kalimera. 201 00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,140 Kalimera. 202 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,980 That was excellent. Do you have any more Greek? 203 00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,380 No, we've only been here one day. 204 00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:54,300 Oh. Welcome. 205 00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,780 Have you seen one of those before? 206 00:15:57,940 --> 00:16:00,420 - No. - The nest of an Egyptian vulture. 207 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,340 Its party piece is breaking eggs it wants to eat 208 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,260 by throwing pebbles at them. 209 00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,660 It's very rare for birds to use tools. 210 00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:10,700 Oh, sorry, you probably knew that. 211 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:12,740 No. 212 00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,420 - (SHOUTING IN GREEK) - (GASPS) 213 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,580 (SHOUTS IN GREEK) 214 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,620 (CONTINUES SHOUTING) 215 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,100 Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! 216 00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:55,820 Do you have kumquats in Hampshire? 217 00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:58,620 I don't think so. It's mainly apples... 218 00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:01,660 ...and cabbage. 219 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,940 Apples are not good in Corfu. 220 00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:08,100 We are pretty sure, in the Bible, Eve was tempted by a kumquat. 221 00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:11,700 - That's a tiny joke. - Oh! 222 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,300 How are your creatures? 223 00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:18,980 I can't wait to show my family. 224 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,980 Your optimism is impressive. 225 00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:23,380 I find my interest in wildlife 226 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,140 is regarded by my friends as a form of madness. 227 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:27,580 (CHUCKLES) 228 00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:29,780 (BARKING) Ooh-ooh! 229 00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,500 Dogs jumping like kangaroos! 230 00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:33,420 Always funny. 231 00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:35,460 (GUNSHOT) 232 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,060 Good shot, Leslie. 233 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,100 Don't hit your mother. 234 00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:44,260 (STRAINS) 235 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,140 Larry, come down here and help! 236 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,180 I can't. I'm working! 237 00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:54,620 (TYPEWRITER KEYS CLATTER) 238 00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:57,060 - Mrs Durrells? - Oh. 239 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,820 - I bring you Lugaretzia. - Oh. 240 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,260 Hello. Why? 241 00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:05,460 You need help. Big family, house pretty, but not so perfect! 242 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,540 Yes, you spotted that. Thank you, Spiros, but we can't afford help. 243 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:11,740 - Of course you can. You're English. - The English come in all kinds, 244 00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:14,140 and we are the poor type. 245 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,620 She's cheap. Part-time, almost free. 246 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,780 Oh, God, I look like some kind of a witch. 247 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:22,900 No, you don't. Where's Mr Durrells? 248 00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,940 Oh, he's dead... selfishly. 249 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:27,860 So it's just me now, shouldering the burden. 250 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:31,900 - Like a braying, sexless donkey! - (SIGHS) 251 00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:36,020 She doesn't understand English, so you can shout out bad things about her. 252 00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:38,220 I don't want to shout out bad things about her. 253 00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:40,500 How cheap is she? Lugaretzia... 254 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,540 (THEY CONVERSE IN GREEK) 255 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:47,740 (THEY NEGOTIATE IN GREEK) 256 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,100 - Shh! - (SIGHS) 257 00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:55,140 15 drachmas a day. 258 00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:58,660 Welcome. 259 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,340 Erm... she's a little bit hypochondriac. 260 00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:04,460 Oh. (GROANS) 261 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:07,380 - Goodbye, Mrs Durrells. - (GROANS) 262 00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:12,420 Oh, darling, what's the matter? 263 00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,500 A man shouted at me. 264 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:17,060 Oh, sweetheart. 265 00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:19,100 Oh... 266 00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:23,540 It's all right. It's just going to be more different than I thought. 267 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,580 Yes. 268 00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:27,620 Yes, me too. 269 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:38,740 (GUNSHOT) 270 00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:46,780 (GUNSHOT) 271 00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:51,860 LARRY: Don't be so feeble. Go back and shout at him! 272 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,060 What, so he has an excuse to throw me into the sea or kill me? 273 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,540 - Oh, have some moral courage. - Stop it, you two. 274 00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:01,180 When have you ever shown any moral courage? Whatever that is. 275 00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:03,900 I show moral courage in my writing every day. 276 00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:06,180 What writing?! Get a proper job! 277 00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:07,740 You're an intellectual dwarf. 278 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:10,300 - Larry, that is cruel. - At least I'm intellectual. 279 00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:12,540 Your intellect is dwarf-sized! 280 00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:15,180 For God's sake. 281 00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:18,020 Yes, it's very nice, isn't it? It was my mother's, actually. 282 00:20:18,060 --> 00:20:20,940 It looks like a bullet hole. Leslie must have nearly shot her. 283 00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:23,820 (SHOUTS IN GREEK) 284 00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:28,100 She's not still going on about that, is she? 285 00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:30,140 (SHOUTS IN GREEK) 286 00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:33,620 No! 287 00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:35,340 Lugaretzia? 288 00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:38,020 Lugaretzia? Come back! (DOOR SLAMS) 289 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:40,300 Leslie, you could have killed her. 290 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:43,060 It's an airgun. She could get a flesh wound at worst... 291 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,580 or lose an eye! - Or lose an eye?! 292 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:49,460 Unbelievable! I have been working like a slave for you. 293 00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:52,780 - Now we've lost my only bit of help. - There's so many species in the wood. 294 00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:56,380 - I found... - Gerry! 295 00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:58,660 - Stop them! - Get them out! Get them out! 296 00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,620 Don't stamp on them! 297 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,660 - Let me shoot one of them! - Don't shoot them! 298 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,980 Stop it! (ALL YELL AT ONCE) 299 00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:07,020 Stop it! 300 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,220 (TEARFULLY) Where did I go wrong? 301 00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:16,700 (SOBS) How did you all become so vile? 302 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,740 LARRY: You know what her problem is? 303 00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,540 Don't you think we're the problem? 304 00:21:48,580 --> 00:21:50,300 - No. - Don't be absurd. 305 00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:51,580 She needs a man. 306 00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:55,900 Don't you dare talk about Mother like that. I'll look after her. 307 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:58,740 Let me lend you a paper by Freud called the Oedipus Complex. 308 00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:01,580 I expect that's really clever, but nobody cares. 309 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,380 The body is built for sex. 310 00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,420 Gerry knows. He watched animals mating. 311 00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:07,460 You are obsessed with sex. 312 00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,260 At last, we agree on something. 313 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:12,020 And since I'm not getting any, at least we can help Mother. 314 00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:14,180 All right, where should we start looking? 315 00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:16,180 We can't just drag men in off the street. 316 00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:18,540 - (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Good afternoon. 317 00:22:18,580 --> 00:22:21,140 - Theo! - My name is Theo Stephanides. 318 00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:23,300 Hello. Good afternoon. 319 00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:25,380 Gerry kindly invited me for tea. 320 00:22:25,420 --> 00:22:27,940 - For your future discoveries. - Thank you so much. 321 00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:31,500 - Tea, yes. - Shall I come back another day? 322 00:22:31,540 --> 00:22:33,540 - BOTH: No, no, no. - It's fine. 323 00:22:33,580 --> 00:22:35,580 - Tea... - Theo? 324 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:38,180 Are you single? 325 00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:40,220 Yes. Yes, I am. 326 00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:52,180 (SQUEAKING) 327 00:23:06,020 --> 00:23:08,220 Good luck. 328 00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:12,460 We couldn't work out how to heat the water. 329 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,780 Oh, don't worry. I can have tea any time. 330 00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:17,780 Figs with sardines - that's breaking new ground. 331 00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:23,700 So, can I help unlock any mysteries about Corfu? 332 00:23:23,740 --> 00:23:26,020 Can you explain why a monk shouted at me 333 00:23:26,060 --> 00:23:28,180 like a lunatic as I was sunbathing? 334 00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:30,940 Maybe you were just lying in his space. 335 00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:33,300 The Greeks used to spend half their lives naked. 336 00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:35,220 So he has no excuse. 337 00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:37,500 That was the Ancient Greeks and MALE nudity. 338 00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:40,340 Female bodies were more often shown partially clothed. 339 00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:42,260 Well, there you go, then. 340 00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:44,860 Become a man or wear a coat over your bikini. 341 00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:46,020 (CHUCKLES) 342 00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:51,780 There's one rule for men and one for women, isn't there? 343 00:23:51,820 --> 00:23:54,420 Have you only just noticed? 344 00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,460 I've been busy growing up. 345 00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:58,300 How long has this been going on? 346 00:23:58,340 --> 00:24:01,900 Even Aristotle, who was no slouch, placed women some way below men... 347 00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,940 but above slaves. Hurrah! 348 00:24:05,180 --> 00:24:07,140 Are there any more biscuits, Margo? 349 00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:08,740 Get them yourself! 350 00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,780 So, Theo... 351 00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:14,820 you are not married yet. 352 00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:17,220 What do you look for in a woman? 353 00:24:17,260 --> 00:24:19,260 Oh! (CHUCKLES) 354 00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,580 Someone I can exchange ideas with, 355 00:24:21,620 --> 00:24:23,820 discuss scientific advances 356 00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:25,900 and just sit quietly with. 357 00:24:25,940 --> 00:24:27,940 Oh! 358 00:24:29,220 --> 00:24:31,220 - Yeah, no, that won't work. - No. 359 00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:58,260 Theo came for tea. 360 00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:00,860 Well, not tea, but he gave me this, 361 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,900 which I filled with dormice. 362 00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:04,940 Oh, Gerry. 363 00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:09,380 We told Leslie he can't shoot near the house any more 364 00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:12,620 because Larry can't write and he might kill us. 365 00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:15,100 So he's going off round the island tomorrow. 366 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:17,140 Come on. 367 00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:22,900 Ooh! Getting quite big, aren't you? 368 00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:24,860 Yes. Should I get off? 369 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:26,900 No. 370 00:25:44,860 --> 00:25:48,140 You can get off now. I can't feel my legs. 371 00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,180 (GROANS) 372 00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:57,660 (HUBBUB) 373 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,260 Any recommendations? 374 00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:40,980 Hm... Avoid the food. 375 00:26:41,020 --> 00:26:43,020 Stick to the booze. 376 00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,260 (CHUCKLES) 377 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:48,220 A fellow foreigner, huh? 378 00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:50,180 Yes, 379 00:26:50,220 --> 00:26:53,220 although I consider myself a citizen of the world. 380 00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:55,580 You look like you've been around. 381 00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:57,620 Hm. (CHUCKLES) 382 00:26:57,660 --> 00:26:59,660 Sailed the seven seas. 383 00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:01,380 Do you have a favourite? 384 00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,740 Hated all of them! 385 00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:05,780 Treacherous, cold... 386 00:27:05,820 --> 00:27:07,820 wet. 387 00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:09,700 Generally devoid of women. 388 00:27:09,740 --> 00:27:11,940 (LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY) 389 00:27:11,980 --> 00:27:13,700 (LAUGHS) 390 00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:20,180 (SHOUTS ANGRILY IN GREEK) 391 00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:24,300 (CONTINUES SHOUTING) 392 00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:30,020 I am dressed perfectly respectably, 393 00:27:30,060 --> 00:27:32,980 unlike Ancient Greek men, from all accounts. 394 00:27:33,020 --> 00:27:35,020 And I'm entitled to be here. 395 00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,060 I think you should take a break from sunbathing... 396 00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:56,860 I am not going to be put off... 397 00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:59,220 ...because your face looks like a tomato. 398 00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:03,940 Oh! 399 00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:05,660 Exciting news! 400 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:08,420 Why are you speaking quietly? You never speak quietly. 401 00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,460 Because I don't want Mother to hear. 402 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:12,220 God, why is everyone so dim? 403 00:28:12,260 --> 00:28:14,820 She's gone to the bank to see if the money's arrived yet. 404 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:17,780 Fortunately, we won't starve. I've shot this beauty. 405 00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:19,940 She won't need her own money if this works out. 406 00:28:19,980 --> 00:28:21,820 I've found her a man. 407 00:28:21,860 --> 00:28:23,980 - No? Who? - His name's Captain Creech. 408 00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:26,900 Cracking sense of humour. Stories to tell. 409 00:28:26,940 --> 00:28:30,900 Doesn't beat about the bush and, well, he must have a few quid. 410 00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,900 This will go horribly wrong, you know. 411 00:28:32,940 --> 00:28:35,700 - How will you get them together? - I might leave it a few weeks. 412 00:28:35,740 --> 00:28:38,140 Her monthly's coming up and she'll be more volat... 413 00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:40,220 Stop saying these things! You are such a... 414 00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:42,740 The money's arrived from the sale of our furniture. 415 00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:46,300 It's not much, but it might make us feel a bit more like we belong. 416 00:28:51,780 --> 00:28:53,780 (SPEAKS IN GREEK) 417 00:29:01,580 --> 00:29:03,580 For Easter. 418 00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:05,900 - Parakalo. - Efharisto. 419 00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:28,740 (SPEAKS GREEK) 420 00:29:57,860 --> 00:29:59,900 How are you feeling, Mother? 421 00:29:59,940 --> 00:30:02,780 Well... happier. 422 00:30:02,820 --> 00:30:05,380 Still livid that you drove Lugaretzia away. 423 00:30:05,420 --> 00:30:08,940 And... hormonally? 424 00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:11,020 Don't be ridiculous! 425 00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:13,420 I'm bringing a pal over for supper tonight. 426 00:30:13,460 --> 00:30:15,820 - Your age, as it happens. - Oh. 427 00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:18,020 Well, our first guest. 428 00:30:18,060 --> 00:30:20,620 What shall I cook? It will have to be mainly figs. 429 00:30:20,660 --> 00:30:23,660 Right, I'm off for the day. 430 00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:32,580 Did anyone notice anything different about Leslie? 431 00:30:32,620 --> 00:30:34,740 I try not to look at him. 432 00:30:34,780 --> 00:30:37,220 - He is becoming very handsome. - He really isn't. 433 00:30:37,260 --> 00:30:39,260 He left without a gun. 434 00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:42,620 I've never seen him without a gun. 435 00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:55,100 (MONK SHOUTS IN GREEK) 436 00:31:26,060 --> 00:31:28,980 God bless you. 437 00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:37,100 I didn't take a firearm this morning because I'm over all that now. 438 00:31:37,140 --> 00:31:40,180 Oh. Oh, I'm so glad, Leslie. 439 00:31:40,220 --> 00:31:41,980 I just like exploring the island, 440 00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:44,620 you know, with a dictionary. Talking to the locals. 441 00:31:44,660 --> 00:31:47,100 What's really going on? Have you shot someone dead? 442 00:31:47,140 --> 00:31:49,420 Don't be silly, Margo. 443 00:31:49,460 --> 00:31:51,580 He's just growing up. 444 00:31:51,620 --> 00:31:54,100 Besides, it's the 1930s, darling. 445 00:31:54,140 --> 00:31:55,980 People don't need guns any more. 446 00:31:56,020 --> 00:31:58,300 Mother, this is Captain Creech. 447 00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:00,660 He's been looking forward to meeting you. 448 00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:03,460 Well... (CHUCKLES) Mrs Durrell. 449 00:32:04,860 --> 00:32:08,300 With a face like that, you should be on the front of a ship. 450 00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:10,140 Oh, thank you. 451 00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:12,420 A present for the house - 452 00:32:12,460 --> 00:32:15,460 a bottle of the finest rum from Jamaica. 453 00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:19,660 Have you er... ever been to Jamaica? 454 00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:21,860 No, no, I haven't. 455 00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:24,180 The first place I ever caught gonorrhoea. 456 00:32:24,220 --> 00:32:26,220 (LAUGHS WILDLY) 457 00:32:28,620 --> 00:32:31,220 So... there we were, 458 00:32:31,260 --> 00:32:35,260 a dozen Uruguayan strumpets below deck 459 00:32:35,300 --> 00:32:39,100 and a ripping wind, straight out of the arsehole of the Earth. 460 00:32:39,140 --> 00:32:41,140 (LAUGHS) 461 00:32:42,540 --> 00:32:45,260 My, this is good tucker. 462 00:32:46,420 --> 00:32:48,420 I like a girl who is er... 463 00:32:49,420 --> 00:32:51,300 ...handy in the galley, 464 00:32:51,340 --> 00:32:53,380 as well as in bed. 465 00:32:53,420 --> 00:32:55,100 (CHUCKLES) 466 00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:57,460 - Where was I? - Arsehole of the Earth. 467 00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:00,020 - Ah! - Yes, that's quite enough of that story. 468 00:33:00,060 --> 00:33:02,340 Gerry, sing us a song. Anything you like. 469 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,300 - Where's your head? - At the moment, it's pounding. 470 00:33:05,340 --> 00:33:07,300 It's nautical for... 471 00:33:07,340 --> 00:33:09,100 Crapper, dunny, 472 00:33:09,140 --> 00:33:10,940 thunder box. 473 00:33:10,980 --> 00:33:12,980 - I think he means the lavatory. - Yes. 474 00:33:13,020 --> 00:33:15,380 Yes, I know that... now. 475 00:33:15,420 --> 00:33:17,460 It's round the back. 476 00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:19,660 Excuse me. (CHUCKLES) 477 00:33:20,740 --> 00:33:22,900 (BREAKS WIND) 478 00:33:24,940 --> 00:33:27,460 (What the hell did you think you were doing, 479 00:33:27,500 --> 00:33:30,500 (bringing that filthy old lecher into our house?) 480 00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:32,660 - He's a breath of fresh air. - Oh! 481 00:33:32,700 --> 00:33:36,420 This is what happens when women let men rule the roost. 482 00:33:47,620 --> 00:33:49,620 (SNORING) 483 00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:51,660 Get up! 484 00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:59,740 - Bye. - Oh, - Leslie. 485 00:33:59,780 --> 00:34:02,140 What are you doing today? 486 00:34:02,180 --> 00:34:04,180 Just walk around, chat with locals. 487 00:34:04,220 --> 00:34:06,540 Ask for work, so I can help out with the money. 488 00:34:06,580 --> 00:34:08,580 Oh... 489 00:34:11,660 --> 00:34:13,740 - He's lying. - I know. 490 00:34:13,780 --> 00:34:15,860 I just thought I'd treat him like an adult. 491 00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:19,180 What were you treating him like when you let him have half a dozen guns? 492 00:34:19,220 --> 00:34:20,740 I'm a mother, not a policeman. 493 00:34:20,780 --> 00:34:23,060 I thought it might lead to some discipline, 494 00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:25,380 make a man of him, with Daddy not being there. 495 00:34:25,420 --> 00:34:27,820 You'll discover, if ever you have children... 496 00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:30,540 I am listening. I'm just going into the garden. 497 00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:44,140 Stupid boy, where are you? 498 00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:54,900 (SPEAKS GREEK) 499 00:35:06,100 --> 00:35:07,980 Urgh! 500 00:35:40,835 --> 00:35:43,315 (YELLS) Sodding, bloody... 501 00:35:43,340 --> 00:35:45,220 Larry, please! 502 00:35:45,260 --> 00:35:47,980 I'm sure Virginia Woolf doesn't swear like a trooper. 503 00:35:48,020 --> 00:35:51,180 Well, her brother didn't remove the letter X from her typewriter. 504 00:35:51,220 --> 00:35:53,340 Why would Leslie do that? 505 00:35:53,380 --> 00:35:56,580 So I don't write the word "sex" so much, apparently. 506 00:35:56,620 --> 00:36:00,140 It's all right. I'll get him back. 507 00:36:05,540 --> 00:36:10,660 Did I mention that your arse should be on the front of a ship? 508 00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:13,380 Don't start that again. We had quite enough last night. 509 00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:15,860 It's your fault for letting me drink. 510 00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:18,860 Look below the surface - 511 00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:22,020 it's usually the ladies that cause the problems. 512 00:36:22,060 --> 00:36:25,740 Look, I am astonished that nobody has murdered you yet. 513 00:36:25,780 --> 00:36:27,780 Now, please leave! 514 00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:30,620 After you've made me a spot of lunch. 515 00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,980 (TYPEWRITER CLATTERS) 516 00:36:34,020 --> 00:36:38,180 Shut up! Use a bloody pencil! 517 00:36:46,740 --> 00:36:48,820 (CUTLERY CLATTERS) 518 00:36:52,060 --> 00:36:54,940 (GASPS) Lugaretzia! 519 00:36:54,980 --> 00:36:56,980 Welcome back. 520 00:36:57,020 --> 00:36:59,500 It's been hell without you. 521 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,540 Son of a bitz. 522 00:37:08,580 --> 00:37:10,980 I see Spiros has been teaching you. 523 00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:13,540 In England, we say "bastard". 524 00:37:15,220 --> 00:37:17,420 Barsto? 525 00:37:17,460 --> 00:37:19,460 - Bastard. - Barsto. 526 00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:24,260 (Barsto.) 527 00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:29,100 I love him, Mum. 528 00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:31,140 Oh, Gerry, take it outside. 529 00:37:34,340 --> 00:37:36,620 Gerry, take him outside, now! 530 00:37:36,660 --> 00:37:39,940 - He'll escape. - Not for a while, he won't. 531 00:37:39,980 --> 00:37:42,540 Gerry? There's so much to see. 532 00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:04,740 Eat, then leave. 533 00:38:06,540 --> 00:38:09,380 I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. 534 00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:13,660 I've spent too much time in the company of uncouth men. 535 00:38:14,940 --> 00:38:16,980 Oh. Well... 536 00:38:17,020 --> 00:38:19,060 thank you. 537 00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:21,100 I'm sorry, I... (SCREAMS) 538 00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:26,060 Get out! 539 00:38:26,980 --> 00:38:29,820 Fine. I'll just finish my lunch. 540 00:38:39,180 --> 00:38:40,900 Now, you leave... 541 00:38:40,940 --> 00:38:42,940 or I'll shoot you. 542 00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:45,820 No, you won't. 543 00:38:45,860 --> 00:38:47,860 (GUNSHOT) 544 00:38:50,780 --> 00:38:54,060 You are in great need of a slap! 545 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:02,420 Oh, so it's OK for you to shoot and nearly kill someone? 546 00:39:02,460 --> 00:39:04,380 Yes. Yes, it is. 547 00:39:04,420 --> 00:39:07,980 - Leslie, we told you - no more shooting! - It wasn't me! 548 00:39:08,020 --> 00:39:11,420 That is the last time you try to find me a husband. Is that clear? 549 00:39:11,460 --> 00:39:14,380 Are you sure? I met a fascinating Turk in a bar in town. 550 00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:16,820 And how did you think I would fall for... 551 00:39:16,860 --> 00:39:18,980 Popeye the bloody Sailor Man?! 552 00:39:19,020 --> 00:39:21,060 And he's not "my age"! 553 00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:22,900 We think the sex will calm you down. 554 00:39:22,940 --> 00:39:24,700 God! 555 00:39:24,740 --> 00:39:26,820 Your father was the love of my life, 556 00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:29,540 and I don't want or need a pale imitation of him. 557 00:39:29,580 --> 00:39:31,940 Well, I find that rather sad. 558 00:39:31,980 --> 00:39:34,300 You may have given up... 559 00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:36,340 but we haven't. 560 00:39:50,820 --> 00:39:52,820 (SQUAWKS) 561 00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:22,580 Ooh! 562 00:40:23,980 --> 00:40:26,100 Oh, where have you been? 563 00:40:26,140 --> 00:40:28,100 I was following Leslie and I got lost. 564 00:40:28,140 --> 00:40:31,620 I tried to ask the way home, but nobody's bothered to learn English. 565 00:40:31,660 --> 00:40:35,780 Anyway, Leslie's lost his interest in guns 566 00:40:35,820 --> 00:40:37,540 because he's got a girlfriend. 567 00:40:37,580 --> 00:40:39,220 A what? 568 00:40:39,260 --> 00:40:42,020 I found him with a local girl, kissing and worse. 569 00:40:42,060 --> 00:40:44,180 Oh! 570 00:40:44,220 --> 00:40:48,100 Well, maybe it was a good idea to come out here after all. 571 00:40:48,140 --> 00:40:50,380 I mention wanting a boyfriend, 572 00:40:50,420 --> 00:40:52,620 and you call me empty-headed and sex-mad. 573 00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:54,940 But Leslie finds someone, and he's a hero? 574 00:40:54,980 --> 00:40:58,780 Firstly, Margo, I am thrilled that you are thinking for yourself 575 00:40:58,820 --> 00:41:01,220 and highlighting double standards. Thank you. 576 00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:02,900 And secondly... 577 00:41:02,940 --> 00:41:05,340 don't you dare be so bloody rude to your mother. 578 00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:07,380 Good, I'll find myself a man, then. 579 00:41:11,780 --> 00:41:13,940 - (GASPS) - Hello, Luga. Glad you're back. 580 00:41:13,980 --> 00:41:16,340 This short story is genius. 581 00:41:16,380 --> 00:41:18,380 Oh? Who wrote it? Me. 582 00:41:28,100 --> 00:41:29,820 (HORN HOOTS) 583 00:41:29,860 --> 00:41:32,260 Look who I find walking home! 584 00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:34,020 Mum. 585 00:41:34,060 --> 00:41:37,700 Gerry, you have a spider, two dormice, a tortoise and a family. 586 00:41:37,740 --> 00:41:39,620 You do not need a pelican. 587 00:41:39,660 --> 00:41:41,900 - Let it go. - I will after I've studied it. 588 00:41:41,940 --> 00:41:43,940 (CHUCKLES) 589 00:41:45,380 --> 00:41:47,460 It's not funny, Spiros. 590 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:49,500 No, of course not. 591 00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:51,740 Come on, Gerry, we'll make a zoo cage! 592 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:56,220 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 593 00:41:57,340 --> 00:41:59,700 Larry, we need to talk about your writing. 594 00:41:59,740 --> 00:42:01,900 We'll deal with you being a peeping Tom later. 595 00:42:01,940 --> 00:42:04,220 I'm sorry you don't like it, but I refuse to let... 596 00:42:04,260 --> 00:42:06,260 No, it's brilliant. 597 00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:09,420 But why is the mother so horrible? 598 00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:11,300 Everything isn't about you. 599 00:42:11,340 --> 00:42:13,900 Oh, nothing is about me. 600 00:42:13,940 --> 00:42:17,820 My life is devoured by my children. 601 00:42:17,860 --> 00:42:22,980 In 21 years I haven't thought about myself for five consecutive minutes. 602 00:42:24,420 --> 00:42:26,700 But it's good, isn't it? 603 00:42:26,740 --> 00:42:28,820 Did you like the ending? 604 00:42:28,860 --> 00:42:31,220 Yes, Larry, it's very good. 605 00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,940 You're going to make us very proud. 606 00:42:33,980 --> 00:42:36,020 In this family? 607 00:42:37,020 --> 00:42:41,420 You're going to make us mildly pleased in a complicated way. 608 00:42:44,580 --> 00:42:46,580 Come and look at this. 609 00:42:50,180 --> 00:42:52,340 The rocks, just by the chapel. 610 00:42:52,380 --> 00:42:54,380 Oh! 611 00:42:56,500 --> 00:42:58,500 That's my girl. 612 00:42:59,580 --> 00:43:01,660 Hello! 613 00:43:01,700 --> 00:43:03,380 Mrs Durrell? 614 00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:06,780 Theodore Stephanides. Delighted to finally meet you. 615 00:43:15,620 --> 00:43:17,780 (MURMURS) 616 00:43:17,820 --> 00:43:20,620 I suspect you need a cross-piece there. 617 00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:23,020 Here. 618 00:43:23,060 --> 00:43:26,180 I believe it's called erm... a purlin. 619 00:43:27,060 --> 00:43:30,500 Leslie, what's your new girlfriend's name? 620 00:43:30,540 --> 00:43:32,620 How do you know about her. 621 00:43:32,660 --> 00:43:35,260 I know everything, darling. I'm your mother. 622 00:43:35,980 --> 00:43:38,100 She's called Alexia. 623 00:43:38,140 --> 00:43:40,140 It's the loveliest name. 624 00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:44,460 And if you ever want to type it, you'll have to give Larry his X back. 625 00:43:47,060 --> 00:43:49,020 To koritsi mou, 626 00:43:49,060 --> 00:43:51,100 I Alexia einai... 627 00:43:51,140 --> 00:43:53,140 (ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK GREEK) 628 00:43:53,180 --> 00:43:55,340 (LAUGHS HEARTILY) Leslie! 629 00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,180 (SPEAKS GREEK) 630 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:01,420 Why are you so good to us, Spiros? 631 00:44:01,460 --> 00:44:03,460 We have no money. We argue all the time. 632 00:44:03,500 --> 00:44:06,260 We have a word, philoxenia. 633 00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:08,540 It means "love to strangers". 634 00:44:08,580 --> 00:44:10,580 That is so sweet. 635 00:44:10,620 --> 00:44:13,060 And it's clear you need help. 636 00:44:13,100 --> 00:44:15,100 (YELLS) Sodding, bloody! 637 00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:22,180 Lugaretzia, how do you say this in Greek? 638 00:44:22,220 --> 00:44:24,500 (LUGARETZIA SPEAKS GREEK) 639 00:44:24,540 --> 00:44:26,540 (LESLIE COPIES HER) 640 00:44:41,540 --> 00:44:43,940 That is my revenge on you, Leslie. 641 00:44:43,980 --> 00:44:45,980 An X for an X. 642 00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:51,260 I just made them look less violent! 643 00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:53,340 Does anyone live here? 644 00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:55,380 Oh! 645 00:44:57,580 --> 00:44:59,580 Somebody died? 646 00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:06,540 My friends Donald and Max. 647 00:45:06,580 --> 00:45:08,780 I invited them over. 648 00:45:08,820 --> 00:45:09,900 Oh. 649 00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:12,580 Gosh, who's this? 650 00:45:18,260 --> 00:45:20,220 (SIGHS) 651 00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:23,460 I went to the bank again today. Still no sign of our money. 652 00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:25,220 (SHOUTS IN GREEK) 653 00:45:25,260 --> 00:45:27,220 We're going to have to get jobs, aren't we? 654 00:45:27,260 --> 00:45:29,140 Why are they putting the table in the sea? 655 00:45:29,180 --> 00:45:32,060 It was Leslie's idea. He doesn't have many. 656 00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:33,660 How dare you! 657 00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:35,540 - Yia sas. - You too. 658 00:45:35,580 --> 00:45:37,420 Leslie! 659 00:45:37,460 --> 00:45:38,900 It's my eldest boy. 660 00:45:38,940 --> 00:45:41,260 Please, help us.