1 00:00:14,820 --> 00:00:17,890 How do you split up nicely from a girlfriend? 2 00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:21,190 - You've only just got together. - Not Dionisia, Daphne. 3 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:25,070 - Daphne still thinks we're going steady. - You be you, I'm Daphne. 4 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,020 - Do it. - I thought you wanted to write. 5 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:30,750 - I'm stuck. I've given up for the day. - It's 7.50am. 6 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,320 Hello, Leslie. I love you so much. 7 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:43,200 Thank you. I'm very fond of you, but I prefer another girl. 8 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,360 Again, but not trying to get a slap. 9 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:52,770 I... I would love you back, 10 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,440 Daphne, but I can't love anyone... 11 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,750 - since my accident. - That's just... creepy. 12 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,160 Write her a letter. 13 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,280 Mrs Durrells! 14 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,110 Your aunty left this in my car. I don't know what it is. 15 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,950 - It must be English. - Thank you, Spiros. 16 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,350 England, it seems so far away with its... whatever this is. 17 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,120 - Hello, Gerry. Where are you off to? - To stare at a wall. 18 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:33,760 Spiros, would you mind taking this to Daphne Likourgou's house? 19 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,870 - Of course. - I'm splitting up with Daphne, 20 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,630 because I'm with Dionisia now. Me and the girl I love. 21 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,070 Being honest and happy, for ever. 22 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,840 - Will you tell him it's not that easy? - It's not that easy. 23 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,360 - Herete! - Herete! 24 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,920 Hello. 25 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,520 Hello. 26 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,760 - Why are we staring at a wall? - It's alive. 27 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,320 Is it? 28 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,430 I'm not known for my arithmetic but I calculate 29 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,640 there are 20,000 living beings on this wall. 30 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:02,360 - Nineteen thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine... - Ah, but over here... 31 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,800 New birth. 32 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,390 And so it goes, around and around. 33 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,680 The whirligig of time. 34 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,350 Yes. 35 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,950 How do they stick to the wall? 36 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,150 We think it's tiny claws with adhesive hairs called tarsi, 37 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,200 helped by the insects' minuscule weight. 38 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:37,310 - Not working? - I've been writing about sex for weeks. It's very draining. 39 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,310 Talking of which, you need to speak to Leslie about contraception. 40 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,230 I have. What kind of a mother do you think I am? 41 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:47,750 The kind who used so many euphemisms he was none the wiser. 42 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,430 I do remember saying "protection" a lot and him looking confused. 43 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,230 - He may have thought I was talking about guns. - I have French letters, 44 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:59,190 - I'll talk him through it, how you roll them on, and so on. - Stop. 45 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,520 It's my job, I'll do it my way. 46 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,430 - Hello, darling. - Just off to see Dionisia. 47 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,670 Yes. Exactly. 48 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,440 What? 49 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:17,030 We should talk about life, and... and how it starts. 50 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,710 - Or doesn't. - No, we're not doing the bloody birds and the bees. 51 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,550 Yes, but there are mechanical aspects 52 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,240 that I fear I explained poorly. 53 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,400 I'm happy to buy some... 54 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,760 equipment so that... 55 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,560 bees are prevented. 56 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,150 Margo. 57 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,040 - Hello, Zoltan. - I am sad without you. Why did you reject me? 58 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,710 I am handsome and wealthy and have many talents. 59 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,350 - You see, you've rather summed up what's wrong with you. - I am... 60 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,470 - too superb? - No, you're arrogant and smug. 61 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,670 I had no idea! 62 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,550 I'm sure I mentioned it when I finished with you. 63 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,430 You haven't asked how I am, 64 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,590 - or anything. - How are you, and everything? - Very well. 65 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,670 I have a job I love in the new X-ray unit at Dr Petridis'. 66 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:21,800 - I would be a superb doctor. - You don't realise how you sound, do you? 67 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,240 - Please be mine again. - No. 68 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,510 Hello, dear. I'm doing a tour of my cherished great-nephews 69 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,550 before I doze. 70 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,030 Auntie, I'm flagging. 71 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,390 Inspire me with your views on sex in the 20th century. 72 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,030 I may have learned to relax and enjoy life, dear, 73 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,310 but I'm still a Victorian. 74 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,590 All I would say is don't neglect us elders in your writing. 75 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,430 We are humanity's depots of wisdom. 76 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,070 We are its Pyramids and its Parthenon. 77 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,760 - You are. - But if you ever describe us as sprightly 78 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,320 I'll ask Leslie to shoot you. 79 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,160 - You are beautiful. - Say again. 80 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,880 - You are beautiful. - Say again. 81 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,310 You. 82 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,360 One girlfriend. 83 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,120 - Only. - I promise. 84 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,160 - Me. - Of course you. 85 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,960 I'm sorry, before I was greedy. 86 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,560 Now I'm just greedy for you. 87 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,790 Oh. 88 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,870 Herete. How can I help you? 89 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,440 - I am the father of Daphne. - Ah. 90 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,190 Yes, I'm sorry it didn't work out. 91 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,000 Daphne's very special. Lovely hair. 92 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,070 - We must talk. - Must we? 93 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,510 Or shall we just let them put it down to experience? 94 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,600 Obviously not. 95 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,160 Cup of tea, Auntie? 96 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000 Pre-luncheon ouzo? 97 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,520 No. 98 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,760 Humanity's depot of wisdom... 99 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,480 no more. 100 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,190 I know it's sad, but, well, they're so young. 101 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,950 Especially Leslie. And he can be an absolute horror. 102 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,470 He's been arrested twice. 103 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,920 - Daphne's well rid of him. - He has made my daughter pregnant. 104 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,280 Er, he can't have. 105 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,640 So this is rather late. 106 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,880 Leslie, what have you done? 107 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:39,360 I expect him to, as you say, "do the decent thing" and marry Daphne. 108 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,560 We will talk more. 109 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,760 This is really bad timing, but... 110 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,480 She looks so... 111 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,840 strong and calm. 112 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,760 Why do people have to die? 113 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,590 Sorry, what am I, eight? 114 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,920 Let's hope it wasn't our cooking. 115 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,750 Aunt Hermione. 116 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,670 You see? This is why I wanted to be a nun. 117 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,720 To make sense of all this. 118 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,240 - The corpse is in the box. - Yes, thank you. 119 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,480 - Beautifully put. - We speak soon about money. 120 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,800 I'm so sorry, Mother. 121 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,440 I know. 122 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,470 But, er, I'm afraid... 123 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,840 something equally momentous has happened. 124 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,240 Daphne's father paid us a visit. 125 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,880 Daphne's having your baby. 126 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,110 - No, she isn't. - Why are you so sure? 127 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,800 Because we didn't, you know. 128 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,550 You didn't sleep with Daphne? 129 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,790 No, well, I did, but only once. 130 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,110 - Well, one and a half times. - Once is enough. 131 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,510 Leslie, what do you mean "a half"? 132 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,560 - Well, there was this... - It doesn't matter. 133 00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:20,600 You were in a pram yourself only yesterday. 134 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,800 In your little shorts. 135 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,030 Are you taking this in, Leslie? 136 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:32,150 Or do I have to spell out all the consequences and the... the mess? 137 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,470 - No. Life will go on. - And what about poor Daphne? 138 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,540 How will it go on for her? 139 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,340 Do you love her? 140 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,280 No. 141 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,160 Oh. 142 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,890 That's the best way to go. 143 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:05,100 Slipping into oblivion to the lilt of rippling waves. 144 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,660 Aunt Margo... 145 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,300 Auntie Margo. 146 00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:12,580 Uncle Gerry. 147 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,250 Your Uncle Gerald. 148 00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,300 Here's... Unc! 149 00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:22,010 Are we not allowed to talk about it? 150 00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:25,850 Not being mean, but it seems a bit soon. 151 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:29,700 Well, of course it's too soon. It's ten years too soon. 152 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:35,780 Let's linger with my aunt for the moment. 153 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,490 I can't believe she's gone. 154 00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:40,850 We should mark her leaving with a big gesture, 155 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,620 kicking Death in the arse. 156 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,660 What did she love most? 157 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,970 - Lamb. - Lambs? 158 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:54,330 No, lamb. 159 00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:57,690 Goat's a bit like lamb, with mint sauce. 160 00:13:57,740 --> 00:14:01,250 In her honour we could slay the one that's stopped giving milk. 161 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:04,650 How does it honour someone to slay a living creature? 162 00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:08,730 Back off, vegetarian. You spend all day watching bugs kill each other. 163 00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:11,970 - But they do it to survive. - I like the idea. Very Druid. 164 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:14,740 We should do it ourselves. 165 00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:16,690 Right. 166 00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:19,250 I'm going up. I've made your bed up, Margo. 167 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:22,730 No, I don't fancy sleeping where Auntie died. 168 00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:24,940 I'll stay on the sofa tonight. 169 00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:50,090 Gerry, it's not good for your eyes. 170 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,180 No, I think it is. 171 00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:55,780 Oh. Er, maybe it is. 172 00:14:56,540 --> 00:15:00,020 It's all you ever do is stare at this bloody thing. 173 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,490 This is my favourite gecko. 174 00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:05,660 Aren't they all the same? 175 00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:08,290 Ooh, excuse me. 176 00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,530 He's called Geronimo. 177 00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:15,140 How do you know? Because you called him that. Yes, I'm very tired. 178 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:19,340 I didn't sleep very well. I kept seeing my aunt's face. 179 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:28,170 How do the insects stay on the wall? 180 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,450 Tiny claws with sticky hairs. 181 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,140 Hm. 182 00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:38,740 Oh, look away. 183 00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:41,740 Maybe I should try drowning you. 184 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,260 Look, this is a noble sacrifice. 185 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:50,010 We eat you, so you become flesh with the Durrell family, 186 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,620 which is a privilege. 187 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,700 Oh. 188 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,690 No. 189 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,080 Argh! No! 190 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:24,650 - Fetch a doctor! - No, not after your bogus broken leg. 191 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:28,330 My typing thumb is on the ground! Well, the tip of it. 192 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,930 - How's the goat? - The goat is an irrelevance! 193 00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:32,720 Oh! 194 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,490 Kalimera. 195 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,650 Kalimera, gracious lady. 196 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,690 The dead auntie is in the cellar. 197 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,130 You certainly have all the phrases. 198 00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:53,570 - She is lying with a young man. - Company. That's nice. 199 00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:56,900 No. He fell in a machine. His head is off. 200 00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:01,650 - Auntie was on holiday? - She planned to live here, 201 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:05,330 - but was only given a few days. - Too bad. 202 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:09,330 - My aunt is being embalmed for the journey home? - Yes. 203 00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:13,250 - Who will go with her? - Well, I assumed she'd go alone. 204 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,690 - I do not advise it. - Why not? 205 00:17:15,740 --> 00:17:18,020 We have lost bodies in transit. 206 00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,530 It looks like you're off to England. 207 00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:25,140 Please bring me back some Marmite. 208 00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:32,050 Margot, baby duty, while I help lance 209 00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,450 Mr Tombros' plague of boils. 210 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,100 Another of my dreams comes true. 211 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:41,770 Well done, again. Tiny bit irritating. 212 00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:46,700 And I have a patient for you. An old beau says he needs an X-ray. 213 00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:52,810 Zoltan, do you honestly expect me to believe you've hurt your arm? 214 00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:56,850 Yes. I was bravely rescuing a kitten... No, not bravely. 215 00:17:56,900 --> 00:18:00,450 Averagely rescuing it, for I am not an arrogant man. 216 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:04,010 Hello, we met when you two were stepping out together. 217 00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,770 Ah, yes, the happy time. 218 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,450 Hello. 219 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:13,010 I fear I have broken my arm. Kitten accident. 220 00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:15,010 It's an excuse to meet me. 221 00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:19,450 That would be a bad waste of our time and money, which are in short supply. 222 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,180 I'll pay 100 drachma for my treatment. 223 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,730 Go on, then. 224 00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:31,340 Stand over here, slip off your shirt. 225 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:42,530 Geronimo doesn't bother eating ladybirds or gnats, 226 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:46,450 he waits for the lacewing flies or the big prize: the mantids. 227 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,500 Mm, tasty. 228 00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:50,690 Cicely. 229 00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:52,730 Why do you give them names? 230 00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:57,580 We give names to whoever we love. Geronimo has his eye on Cicely. 231 00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:00,570 How do they not fall off the wall? 232 00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:02,260 Suction. 233 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:15,700 None of us has been back since we came here. 234 00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:21,770 I love you being here, but I think you should go back to England 235 00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:24,450 - for the funeral. - Ooh, I'm coming too. 236 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,570 - You always say you hate England. - It might be more fun 237 00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:30,650 now that I've got some mad friends through my novel. 238 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,970 Anyway, I'm writing bollocks here. I'll send some telegrams 239 00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:37,490 - to alert the literati. - I don't know bollocks. What is that? 240 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:40,410 I should go back, but I'm worried about Leslie. 241 00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:44,460 I feel like my head is being battered between two bricks. 242 00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,160 What are we going to do? 243 00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,700 It may turn out well. 244 00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:55,370 I married my wife after she was with child. 245 00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:57,930 And you've no regrets, have you? 246 00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,740 No. 247 00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:34,090 I'm sure there's a rational explanation. 248 00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:36,650 I don't care. I'm not moving back in. 249 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:40,530 - Leslie, swap rooms with your sister. - No, it's too spooky. 250 00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:43,570 - Larry can swap. - No, I work in my room. It's sacred. 251 00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:47,730 This is a message. Aunt Hermione's soul is restless. 252 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,930 We need an exorcism. 253 00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:54,370 No, no more paranormal crap, after Mrs Haddock. 254 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:57,770 I do think we might have a memorial service for her, though. 255 00:20:57,820 --> 00:21:01,810 As Auntie loved Corfu so much. And then we'll take her home. 256 00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:04,850 - Margo, you're the most spiritual. - Yes, I am. 257 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,060 So you arrange it. 258 00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:31,980 ~ 259 00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:34,950 Yes, but... 260 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:35,900 ~ 261 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,440 Please don't look at me like that. 262 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,080 Shhh. Try to think of Auntie. 263 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,680 Well, you took it really well. 264 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:11,680 - You took your time coming here. - Yes. I'm sorry, Mr Likourgos. 265 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,030 - Hello. - Cuppa? 266 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,680 - Ooh, yes. - ~ 267 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,150 - You speak very good English. - I fought with British Tommies 268 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,670 - in the Great War. Battle of Doiran. - Well done. 269 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,960 - We lost. - Ah. Thank you, anyway. 270 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:36,270 - My aunt died so I'm actually popping back to England. - Blighty. 271 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,670 - Indeed. - She snuffed her candle. 272 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,230 Hm. 273 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,710 - Daphne, this must be such a jolt for you. - Yes. 274 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,000 Leslie's not speaking. 275 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:52,000 - Well, he's coming to terms with it, too. Aren't you? - Yes. 276 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,710 I'm going to speak for Leslie because... he's not saying anything. 277 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,960 We should not make any decisions now. 278 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:06,040 - It's rude to stare. - It's rude to put my daughter in the pudding club. 279 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,150 - They will marry before the baby shows. We want no shame. - No. 280 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,270 I will shoot him with my army rifle if you do not agree. 281 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:18,430 - Good marriages aren't made at the point of a gun. - What kind of rifle? 282 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:23,110 - Now you talk. - Lee-Enfield. - What, the classic point 303 or the... 283 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:27,080 This is the gun he is threatening to kill you with, Leslie. 284 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:32,310 - Good morning. - Morning, Zoltan. 285 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,870 - You forgot your sling. - Hm. 286 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,350 Superb recovery! 287 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,550 Margo, you are looking more beautiful with every passing day. 288 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,870 It's not true. I slept terribly. 289 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,590 - Why? - I'm on the sofa. My bed is haunted. 290 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,110 - Who by? - My great aunt. 291 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:51,880 Oh. 292 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,070 A souvenir. 293 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:58,920 I look forward to seeing you with a genuine injury. 294 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,320 I apologise. I am a twit. 295 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,870 You see, not arrogant. 296 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,430 I am the least arrogant person in the world. 297 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,350 Well, that's quite arrogant. 298 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:13,670 Oh, yes. I have much to learn from you. 299 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,470 - I tell you what you can do for me. - Hm? 300 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,680 Slaughter a goat. 301 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,870 How did that go? 302 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:45,070 - I didn't realise shotgun weddings actually existed, till now. - Oh, dear. 303 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,030 Leslie's obviously deeply traumatised. 304 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:52,190 I'd rather he got hysterical than this... blankness. 305 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,270 The cicada are hatching. 306 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,040 Darling, ask Leslie to join you at the wall. It might distract him. 307 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:04,270 You know what I'm wondering? 308 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,040 Whether Daphne really is pregnant. 309 00:26:14,060 --> 00:26:16,320 This will interest you: a cicada. 310 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,990 They stay underground for up to 17 years then emerge as nymphs. 311 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:25,160 So the opposite of me: above ground for 19 years then buried alive. 312 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,120 - How do they stay on the... - Please don't say it! 313 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,670 You won't organise anything too outlandish tomorrow, will you? 314 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,150 We will be drawing on many cultures. 315 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,750 We're already sacrificing a goat. 316 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,550 That would raise a few eyebrows in Bournemouth. 317 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,790 In Madagascar they remember the dead by regularly digging them up. 318 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:02,640 Well, let's remember Aunt Hermione just by remembering her. 319 00:27:05,340 --> 00:27:07,350 Sleep in your bed tonight, darling. 320 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,360 I'm sure Auntie's spirit is at rest. 321 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,400 - Hello, Daddy. Daphne on your mind? - Mm. 322 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,510 I'm all for go to bed together first, chat later, 323 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,240 but just ignoring this problem won't make it go away. 324 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,720 I'm seeing her tomorrow, so we can "get to know each other better". 325 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,510 - Also, I've read a lot of books... - Bravo, have a banana. 326 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,950 Thanks, and there are many examples of phantom pregnancies 327 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,630 or simple wishful thinking from women, 328 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,470 especially if they've been dumped by the father. 329 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,710 - Are you saying Daphne isn't pregnant? - It's possible. 330 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,870 Why didn't say when you two were going out? 331 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,870 - I'd love her not to be having a baby. - I know. 332 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,350 - Your brain has told your face. - But Daphne wouldn't lie. 333 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,670 She told me she loves me. I just wish I loved her. 334 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,720 - Maybe you'll ease into it. - Like tight shoes. - Exactly like that. 335 00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,960 Morning. 336 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,240 Bit of a surprise, all this. 337 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,990 We were stupid. Everyone is looking at me. 338 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:17,680 Still -- one and a half times, call it two. 339 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,680 What are the chances? 340 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:27,950 This may sound bad, but you are really having a baby, 341 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,990 aren't you? 342 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,270 So you've missed your thing. 343 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,630 Stop. You cannot talk about this. 344 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:38,630 I'm not saying that you're lying, but shouldn't we go to a doctor, 345 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,040 just to check that you're well and everything? 346 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,990 - Pavlos, thank you so much for helping. - It is a pleasure. 347 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,430 'The day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth.' 348 00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,550 Ecclesiastes 7:1. 349 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:03,120 You may struggle to find anyone who agrees with you. 350 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,990 - This is not a Nativity. - I know, Pavlos, I told him. 351 00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,870 - Auntie loved donkeys. - I'm not sure she did. 352 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,150 This is the schedule of events. 353 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,400 I've encouraged everyone to contribute. 354 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,950 I am not unwell. 355 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,390 I know, but the doc can give us advice. 356 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,460 And confirm if you're pregnant or not. 357 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:36,310 - That's very bad form. - Leslie! And, er,... - Daphne. 358 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,860 ~ 359 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,390 - There's a queue, I'm afraid, I'm without Florence. - Where is she? 360 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,640 At your great aunt's memorial service. 361 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,590 I really should be there, too, Daphne. 362 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,240 I'm sorry. Do you mind? I'll be back. 363 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:01,310 Eonia sou e mnimi, axiomakaristi ke aimnisti athelfi Hermioni. 364 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:06,950 ♪ Eonia sou e mnimi, 365 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,030 ♪ Eonia sou e mnimi, 366 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:15,710 ♪ Eonia aftis e mnimi. 367 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,440 O Theos as tin anapafsi. 368 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,990 We will now sing Aunt Hermione's favourite song, 369 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,320 Three Little Maids From School. 370 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,390 ♪ Three little maids from school are we 371 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,390 ♪ Pert as a schoolgirl well can be 372 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,030 ♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee 373 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,750 ♪ Three little maids from school 374 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,440 ♪ Everything is a source of fun 375 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,120 ♪ Nobody's safe... ♪ 376 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,560 Keep singing. 377 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,070 - Oh! - Your dead auntie is outside. Shall I wheel her in? 378 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,800 Thank you, no. Let's not treat her like a portable cabaret act. 379 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,880 We'll move on. Larry? 380 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,390 Sorry. 381 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,390 Friends and relatives of Hermione, local people, 382 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,030 monks, animals. 383 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,870 To quote the poet Emily Dickinson... 384 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,990 Do give her a try, she's very good. 385 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:39,110 'Dying is a wild night and a new road.' 386 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,230 Aunt Hermione is on that road now, 387 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:47,190 and as someone who's been in the car with her, God help the driver. 388 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:54,000 Like us, Hermione was rejuvenated by this ramshackled but magical island. 389 00:32:54,720 --> 00:33:00,240 Maybe her heart couldn't take what she called "surge of bliss". 390 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,910 The Hawaiian lament known as the karooki. 391 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,760 It's in my book about death. Let's all try it now. 392 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,270 All right, we won't, then, but you get the gist. 393 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:49,870 - I recently became a vegetarian. - Boo. 394 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,910 So that cuts down on a lot of deaths, 395 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,590 but it's never easy when it strikes. 396 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,190 I cried buckets when my first pet died. Stinky. 397 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,230 - Stinky. - Stinky. - Stinky. 398 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,230 Hermione was, of course, very English. 399 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,790 I think the reason she was acquiring so many admirers on Corfu 400 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,990 was the same quality of robustness which built the British Empire. 401 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,670 My sympathy lies with Mr Anestis here. 402 00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:21,230 - Thank you. - You brought out her sensual side 403 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,590 which -- I speak as a single person -- 404 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:28,070 one may neglect if one is... 405 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,200 rather busy. 406 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,390 Everyone's been sweet about my aunt 407 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,510 and I spent most of my life in fear of her. 408 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:48,590 How fitting that she drew her last mortal breath here in Corfu, 409 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,520 where she learnt to relax and forgive, 410 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:58,990 and to dance despite what she called "foolish knees". 411 00:35:00,340 --> 00:35:03,870 She felt at home here, and I say amen to that. 412 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,550 Amen. 413 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,990 I've recently become very aware of the cycle of life and death. 414 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,360 The old must make way for the new. 415 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:19,400 And those of us in-between must welcome and be friends to both. 416 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,120 I'm so sorry. It went on for ages. 417 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,920 The doctor says yes, I'm pregnant. 418 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,230 Do you want to go check with him I'm not lying? 419 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,600 - I didn't think you were lying. - Liar. 420 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:06,150 - All right, but it was my brother's stupid idea. - Liar and now coward. 421 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,230 - I've been upset. - And me? 422 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,710 Did you see me doing happy skipping? 423 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:15,110 And if I was happy you wouldn't know, because you're not interested. 424 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,640 Look, I've just been managing not to go to pieces. 425 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:38,270 I could not kill this, even for the love of Margo. 426 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,510 Oh, you poor thing. 427 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,230 It's just as well -- this is the wrong goat. 428 00:36:43,780 --> 00:36:45,230 - Oh. - Zoltan. 429 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,790 - That's the wrong goat. - I know! 430 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,430 Sorry, I have been informed. 431 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,310 It's so lovely you're just as weedy as us. 432 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:57,080 Zoltan, you should know, we British love a loser. 433 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:08,400 Thanks a bunch. Of course she's pregnant. You read too many books. 434 00:37:09,740 --> 00:37:10,440 Grrrr! 435 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,960 Looks like your auntie's ready to go home. 436 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,790 - I did a bad thing. - Well, you're not the first. 437 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,640 Not that bad thing, another bad thing. 438 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,280 I asked Daphne to go to the doctor's with me, 439 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,520 to check she WAS pregnant. 440 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,040 She's pretty angry with me. 441 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:10,680 Daphne's a decent girl. You need to treat her well. 442 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,440 I know. 443 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,590 Sometimes, people who are thrown together thrive. 444 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:21,430 The choice isn't will you abandon Daphne and the baby, or not? 445 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,110 - Of course I won't. - The choice is will you marry Daphne? 446 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,350 And only you can decide that. 447 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:31,480 Which is tragic, because I'd love to decide everything for you. 448 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:49,710 - She is huge. Spectacular tegmina! - I'm so glad you're here. 449 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,230 I wanted my family to share my interest, but it's exhausting. 450 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,760 Ooh, I think it's finally happening. 451 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:01,270 - Who's your money on? - You'd be a fool to bet against Geronimo. 452 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,920 - You'd be a fool to bet ever. - Of course. 453 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,440 - Should we separate them? - Too late. 454 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,800 That was horrible. 455 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,720 - Hello. - Hello. 456 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,680 ~ 457 00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:35,000 I'm sorry, I've been hopeless. 458 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,920 I want to do everything properly now. 459 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,040 - ~ - ~ 460 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,360 Agree to marry my daughter. 461 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,520 No. 462 00:40:55,720 --> 00:41:00,200 A marriage needs love and I'm afraid I'm not in love with Daphne. 463 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:06,200 So you'll have to shoot me now if you can't live with that. 464 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:13,600 But I will be a reliable support to Daphne, and a good father. 465 00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,600 My family will provide for the baby. 466 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:31,360 I did actually deliver a baby last year by myself. 467 00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,070 Another time. 468 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,120 - Daphne, let's talk. - Ella! 469 00:42:02,140 --> 00:42:03,220 One new bed! 470 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,630 A present from your Turkish friend. 471 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,310 Zoltan bought me a new bed, because the other one was haunted. 472 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:15,040 - No, it wasn't. - What? - I made the shape on the bed by lying on it. 473 00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:19,230 You were asking for it by saying you "believe in everything". 474 00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,360 That's no way to live. Believe in truth. 475 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,600 She got a free bed out of it. 476 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,990 How's Daphne? 477 00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,230 She used to be so strong. 478 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,680 Now she's all cowed. 479 00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,720 - So? - It's all right. 480 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,080 We'll be apart. 481 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:48,670 But it's not all right. 482 00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:52,390 I've tried to shut it all out -- I hate bloody explaining -- 483 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,280 because I don't want a baby. 484 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,280 I know. Come here. 485 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,550 I just feel so trapped, like I can't go back. 486 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,910 Nothing's ever been so... so permanent before. 487 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,560 I'm not ready to be a parent. 488 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:14,000 If it makes you feel any better, I'm not ready to be a grandparent. 489 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,240 Or to take over from Aunt Hermione. 490 00:43:22,420 --> 00:43:25,470 - I found a terrific ditch. - Margo, no! 491 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,640 Ha! What are you going to sleep on now? 492 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,080 Why are there mattresses everywhere? 493 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,070 These are your papers, Mrs Durrell. 494 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,870 - If they seize the corpse... - I'm sorry, 495 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,870 but you are rather tactless for an undertaker. 496 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,310 - Can we use another word, please? - Carcass? 497 00:43:58,360 --> 00:43:59,630 This is very important. 498 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,310 Read the list properly, like it's Keats or something. 499 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,760 Don't buy the wrong fishnet stockings. Thank you. 500 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,800 Now, just don't drown in the ditch. 501 00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:19,240 - I'm sorry about my advice. - No, I've been weird. 502 00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,880 I just want to say, whatever happens... 503 00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,430 - I really need this ammo,... - Oh. 504 00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,840 .. and there are a dozen specific gun magazines. 505 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,670 Please look after my children while I'm away. 506 00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:37,920 They suddenly seem very vulnerable. 507 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,400 I would love to. 508 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:45,960 And what can I bring you back from England, Spiros? 509 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:48,880 Yourself. 510 00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:01,880 Come on, Auntie. 511 00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:04,960 One last trip. 512 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,400 - Bye. - Bye, Mum. 513 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:37,870 Larry, this is, er, Jonquil, Henry Miller, and Ruby. 514 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,030 At last. People like me. 515 00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,630 The house is buggered. 516 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,790 Your mother asked me to watch over you. 517 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:49,510 - No Zoltan until she returns. So you have not seen him. - Of course not. 518 00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:52,070 - Be kind to donkeys! - Come to my room. 519 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:56,350 - Why? - I've got a job with the Corfu police force! 520 00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:00,040 I want to stay here in England.