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Bob Monkhouse.

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Comedian,

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writer,

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father.

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The king of the quiz shows.

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But this is only half the story.

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Bob Monkhouse spent a lifetime

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obsessively collecting
films and video tapes,

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recordings of radio
and television programmes

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which, until now,

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had been thought lost for ever.

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He recorded everything.

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He seemed to have
taped audiovisually...

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He had everything!

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Shelves up to here, all surrounded,

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all with tapes, and all letters,
and... Oh, God!

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Reams and reams and reams and reams
and reams of stuff.

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He's like a magpie.
He's got so much stuff.

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Films, books, records...

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And it's sort of almost
compulsive behaviour, really.

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It was verging on obsession.

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Here, for the first time,

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we can see the material that
so obsessed Bob Monkhouse.

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It opens a door into the mind
of one of Britain's most complex

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and funniest comedians.

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Bob Monkhouse had been
collecting all kinds of things

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since he was a child.

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It included thousands
of tapes and films.

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But he also collected comics
and records, matchboxes,

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and even tinned food.

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He kept everything
related to his own career

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and threw away nothing.

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It was all good fun, until 1977,

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when Bob's serious collecting habit

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landed him in serious trouble.

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One evening I got a phone call,

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and he said, "Can't believe what's
happened." I said, "Well, tell me."

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So he said, "Well, the house
is full of policemen.

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"They've got a warrant
to search the house,

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"and they're going to arrest me!"

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Mr Monkhouse had been accused of

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conspiracy to defraud
film distributors of hiring fees.

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Two stressful years later,

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the case was heard
at the Old Bailey.

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After the trial,
and for the rest of his life,

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a traumatised Monkhouse
became very secretive about

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the thousands of items
he had at home.

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Even after his death in 2003,
the secrecy continued.

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His vast collection of recordings,
documents and objects

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lay undisturbed at the house
for six years

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because Bob had left no instructions
in his will

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about what to do with them.

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It was only when
his wife, Jackie, died

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and the Monkhouse mansion
was sold in 2009

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that the true extent of Bob's
collecting habit became clear.

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In all,
there were 3,000 audiotapes,

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2,000 photographs,

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ten filing cabinets full of scripts,

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50,000 VHS tapes,

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400 film prints,

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one million jokes.

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PETER COOK: I was reading the Bible
the other day, you know.

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LAUGHTER

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It's very good, innit?

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Amongst the thousands of tapes which
filled several rooms of the house

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were lost episodes
of classic comedies

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like Peter Cook and
Dudley Moore's Not Only But Also.

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Do you believe in God, actually?

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DUDLEY MOORE: When I'm in
a tight spot, you know.

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"If you do help me out, I'll believe
in you. And, er...

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"Thank you very much.

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LAUGHTER

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"I know you're there
for future reference."

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LAUGHTER

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There were hundreds of
performances from comedy legends

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that the BBC had thrown away,

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amongst them Kenneth Horne,

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the Crazy Gang,

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and Frankie Howerd.

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I went to this pet shop, and there
was the owner, a little old man,

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polishing a monkey.

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I said, erm...
LAUGHTER

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I said, "Good morning."

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Come along, now, please.
LAUGHTER

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Thank you, don't doze off.

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There were also 15 unique recordings
of Tony Hancock.

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LAUGHTER

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And so it is with a song in my heart

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that I declare
these Empire Games open,

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and bless all who jump in 'em.

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LAUGHTER

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It was an amazing discovery.

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An Aladdin's cave of television
and comedy

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left behind by a man
everyone thought they knew.

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The Golden Shot, the suntan,

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the bow tie and the jokes.

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I've had a lot of trouble
ever since I arrived here tonight.

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There was the usual big crowd
outside the stage door,

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and a shout went up.
"Here's Bob Monkhouse!"

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And everyone stared at me.
I was so embarrassed.

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I wished I hadn't shouted.

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LAUGHTER

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He was famous for 50 years.

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But there always seemed more
to Bob Monkhouse

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than one-liners.

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Who are you? I am Bob Monkhouse!

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His collection
tells us everything we need to know.

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This was every last detail
of a career

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at the heart
of British entertainment.

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This was the life of Bob Monkhouse.

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The very first sightings of
Bob Monkhouse the comedian

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left everyone deeply impressed.

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He was brilliant! He was so quick.

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And he had this wonderful delivery,

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beautiful timing. Oh, dear.

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So I went up to him afterwards,

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and I said, "You don't know me.

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"I'm Dabber Davis. I'm an agent.

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"I thought you were
absolutely brilliant."

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And bless his heart, he said,
"Did you really? Thank you so much!"

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19-year-old Bob Monkhouse scored
a big success here last week,

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and so let's have a really happy
welcome for our young comedy find,

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Bob Monkhouse!

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APPLAUSE
BRASS BAND

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At an early age, I fell in love with
the girl next door,

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and one day,
I plucked up my courage

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and I asked her if she was doing
anything that night,

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and she said no.

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So I took her for a ride
in the country

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and found out she wasn't kidding.

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LAUGHTER

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As a boy,

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Bob Monkhouse was entranced
by the comedians of wartime radio.

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Ladies and gentlemen,
Workers' Playtime!

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He had a short wave radio,

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and he used to listen to
all the American broadcasts.

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And so he had the jump on all
the comics here,

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because he knew the kind of things
that people were talking about.

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To learn the secrets of comedy,

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Bob began to write down the jokes
he heard on American Forces Network.

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He then took them apart,
to see how they worked.

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Bob never did anything by half. If
he recorded something, he would...

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type up the script, and it would be
committed to paper as well.

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Everything had to be
on COMPLETE record.

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Nothing offhand.
It was 100% or nothing with Bob.

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And that's where he got
a lot of his material from,

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cos he had this extra source.

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And everybody else had the same
opportunity, by the way,

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of getting it.

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It just meant listening
and writing and recording.

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But he was industrious.

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He was serious.

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He learned fast
and he learned from the best.

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This was the era of the great
American stand-up comedians

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like Bob's hero, Bob Hope.

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"Ladies and gentlemen,
the top of the bill,

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"the one and only Mr Bob Hope!"

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SINGS MUSICAL INTRODUCTION

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I'm thrilled to be here.
I really have nothing new
to report from the States -

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that's where Churchill lives.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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Well, he doesn't live there.

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He goes back once in a while
to deliver Mrs Roosevelt's laundry.

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LAUGHTER

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To write up the Bob Hope Show

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or, you know,
the George Burns And Gracie Show,

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to write that up
and to see how the jokes are made,

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what they look like on paper,

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that's a writer's obsession.

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And because he was a writer,

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he wanted to know how those jokes
and what those jokes did.

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How did you make that happen
in a joke?

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How do you get a turn like that?

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How do you get the surprise
to work like that?

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How do you get away with being rude
without being rude overtly?

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I know it's strange.

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When I was a teenager, I was going
to be an athlete. Hard to believe.

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Any evening, you could see me
striding over the sports fields

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with easy grace.

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I forget why we called her that.

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LAUGHTER

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The young Monkhouse
was an instant hit.

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He then teamed up with the
even younger writer and performer,

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Denis Goodwin.

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Bob and Denis shared a love of
American comedy.

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They weren't looking back to
the music hall for inspiration,

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they were looking west, to the
wisecracks of New York and LA.

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Hello, this is Bob.
And this is Denis.

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And this is the stage of the
newly-decorated Playhouse theatre,

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with its classic statues

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of Bath Night
with Elsie and Doris Waters.

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LAUGHTER

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Oh, you mean those gold figures
there? Ain't the paint quaint?

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Pardon? I said ain't the paint
quaint? You mustn't say "ain't".

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You should say "isn't".

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All right, isn't the pisn't quisn't?

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LAUGHTER

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THEY BOTH CHUCKLE

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With Britain struggling to get back
on its feet after the war years,

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the razor-sharp mid-Atlantic
routines of Monkhouse and Goodwin

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were like a breath of fresh air.

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Funny script, eh? Oh, yeah.

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Thought of some good lines? Oh, I'm
thinking of some beautiful lines.

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Really? Who's the script for?

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Diana Dors. Diana Dors?

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Can I make some suggestions?

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I'm sorry, all the suggestions
are coming from me.

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I have a date
with her to discuss it tonight.

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I've heard about
your technique with women.

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It's nothing, really.
That's what I heard.

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Every comedy show in town wanted
a bit of Bob and Denis magic,

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and they were soon writing
and performing with their heroes.

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For your enjoyment we present
The Arthur Askey Show,

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written by and including
Bob Monkhouse and Denis Goodwin...

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Writing for Arthur Askey
was a great thrill,

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but they were in dreamland when
American stars, visiting London,

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like Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis,

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enlisted their help.

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It just kept getting better
for Monkhouse and Goodwin.

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And then Bob Hope
flew into their lives.

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When the boys were writing Calling
All Forces, which was a forces show,

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and enormous figures... We had
people like Petula Clark

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and Alma Cogan as resident singers,

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we had Geraldo
and this enormous orchestra,

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and a lot of people who came
from America would come in it.

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And Bob Hope came in once,

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and he liked the boys' style.

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So the next thing I heard
from America

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was that he was coming
to the Palladium

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and would
they write some material for him?

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And it developed from there that
he liked their material,

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and every time he came here
and did anything,

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they would write it.

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That would be...heaven for Bob.
The idea that someone like Bob Hope

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could say to Bob,
"Could you write me some jokes?",

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that would be...

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that would be up here.

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The Monkhouse and Goodwin office was
a scriptwriting factory,

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churning out endless
comedy routines.

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They would often go days
without sleep to meet deadlines.

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I used to go along,

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when they'd finished,
and pick the scripts up.

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Well, you can imagine,
72 hours working nonstop.

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It's a good thing I was a comedian,

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because I'd read it and think,
"They don't make sense."

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By that time,
72 hours, it didn't make sense.

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That's the way they worked.

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Bob would really overdo it,

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particularly writing with Denis,

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four or five shows a week,
or whatever.

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He'd overdo it,

252
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,660
and then he'd just...

253
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,020
go away for two or three days

254
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:57,540
and be intravenously fed!

255
00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:01,580
It'd be the drip, and he'd be
out of it for three days,

256
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:05,100
charging the batteries, and then...
charging back!

257
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:08,580
Exhausted and overworked,

258
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,900
they embarked on their first
television show,

259
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,140
Fast and Loose.

260
00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:16,820
Bob only just about got through
the first live episode.

261
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,140
As the credits rolled,

262
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:20,980
his hectic schedule
caught up with him.

263
00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:22,660
He collapsed, Bob.

264
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:25,140
So we had to cancel
the series for about three months

265
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,540
while he got better.

266
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,220
He soon recovered,

267
00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:31,860
and they went on
to make two successful series.

268
00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:35,460
The camera loved Bob
more than it loved Denis.

269
00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:39,380
It was very clear
who had star quality.

270
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,820
Well, people were coming through.

271
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:46,380
All the big...the BBC, everybody,
wanting Bob.

272
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:47,660
They didn't want Denis.

273
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:50,820
So we had to try and
let him down gently,

274
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:54,420
but it was very difficult.

275
00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:58,100
Radio was OK, because he's reading a
script,

276
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:01,060
he's got it in front of him,
doesn't have to remember the lines.

277
00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:03,940
He wrote it, as well,
so this was good.

278
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:05,780
But with television, I mean...

279
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,980
he couldn't even read an autocue
or anything.

280
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:10,220
My partner gives
renditions of popular records.

281
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:12,620
He will now give you
Debbie Reynolds' latest release.

282
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:14,020
Eddie Fisher. Very good.

283
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:15,260
LAUGHTER

284
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:18,180
You see, we work as a team,
and teamwork's a wonderful thing.

285
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:21,020
It's terribly important in show
business, ladies and gentlemen,

286
00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:23,500
for teams to stick together,
to know each other's work,

287
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,660
and to be the best of friends.
Yes, it is.

288
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:27,660
The next big project they did
together

289
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:29,980
would see Bob Monkhouse pushed to
the front,

290
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:31,900
and Denis,
literally,

291
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:33,420
pushed to
one side.

292
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,420
He's my pal Bob,

293
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,660
and if you'll excuse me now,

294
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,460
I have to make way
for the credit titles.

295
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:40,460
POP

296
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,860
Discovered in Bob's attic
were the film cans

297
00:13:44,860 --> 00:13:47,380
containing the only surviving copies

298
00:13:47,380 --> 00:13:50,460
of the 1958 situation comedy
My Pal Bob,

299
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:53,900
which shows how the pair
were becoming less of a double act

300
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,260
and more of a one-man show.

301
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:57,260
APPLAUSE
Thank you. Thank you so much.

302
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:59,860
Not too much applause, please.
Our producer has a headache.

303
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:02,420
Bob would be doing the actual thing,

304
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:03,860
and we'd put this little...

305
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:09,060
..optic in here with Denis in it,

306
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:11,940
which was good, because
it got us out of any trouble

307
00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:13,700
that he couldn't read the script.

308
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,860
And just supposing that you
can stage this phoney divorce,

309
00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:19,340
how can you be sure
that she'll want to marry you again?

310
00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:22,740
Please, can you think of anyone who
wouldn't want to marry me again?

311
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:23,980
Yes. Who? Me.

312
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,620
LAUGHTER

313
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:27,780
So the three unwise monkeys
started working on

314
00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:30,300
a plan to make
Jill demand a divorce.

315
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,500
He liked doing that,
because it was easy.

316
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,060
All he had to do was read
the script

317
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:36,580
with whatever
was going on below with Bob.

318
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:38,820
There's no doubt
he supported Denis Goodwin,

319
00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:40,740
who was an unfortunate man.

320
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,500
He developed certain addictions

321
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,620
and things like that.

322
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:47,620
Sadly, he wasn't too well,
shall we say?

323
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:51,180
He couldn't do it.
And once or twice,

324
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:55,660
we had some terrible times with Bob
where the performance was ruined.

325
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:00,980
Bob Monkhouse was now a star.

326
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,380
He had the entertainment world
at his feet,

327
00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:06,420
and the next step was the movies.

328
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:10,260
I've had a very exciting experience
since the last time I saw you.

329
00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:12,380
I've been making a film called Carry
On Sergeant.

330
00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:14,540
And I'm an avid moviegoer,
so it was very exciting.

331
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,780
I love to go to the pictures.
Don't you? I love it.

332
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:19,260
You know when you go in and
you see the adverts first of all,

333
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:21,260
cos the cinema always
advertises its own stuff.

334
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:24,180
It says something like, "Ice cream!"

335
00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:26,140
"Flavour of the month -
the usherette's thumb."

336
00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:31,100
Bob Monkhouse had the lead role
in the first ever Carry On film,

337
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,020
Carry On Sergeant.

338
00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:35,220
Oh, Mary!
Oh, I'm so relieved to see you.

339
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:37,260
Is everything all right, darling?

340
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:39,260
No! No fire extinguishers.

341
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:41,540
Fire extinguishers?

342
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:42,900
Everything depends on them.

343
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:50,940
Oh!

344
00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:59,460
Bob's increasing success
as a performer

345
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:03,020
led to the end of the 15-year
partnership with Denis Goodwin,

346
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:06,260
who left for America
to write full-time for Bob Hope.

347
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:10,180
The next few years without Denis

348
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:13,260
saw Bob's own tilt at movie stardom
fizzle out.

349
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:16,540
He was searching for
a new television job,

350
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:20,220
when he had the brilliant idea
of turning his film-collecting hobby

351
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:22,420
into a long-running TV show.

352
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:24,780
He called it Mad Movies.

353
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:30,220
Mad Movies showed
Bob's eye for business.

354
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:32,940
He was a writer, presenter
and producer,

355
00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,860
financing the series himself,

356
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,020
and selling it to 38 countries.

357
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,300
It was a labour of love,

358
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,260
and Bob's chance
to share his passion

359
00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:44,140
for the greats of
silent-film comedy.

360
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,500
Welcome to a wonderful world
where comedy is king,

361
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,820
the world of a thousand clowns, each
with a magic power.

362
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:54,300
Movie magic.

363
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:57,900
They found this glorious new magic
in the mechanism of a movie camera.

364
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:08,220
Just at the time Bob was celebrating
his comedy heroes in Mad Movies,

365
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,020
he was having serious doubts

366
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:12,740
about whether he himself
belonged in the world of comedy.

367
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:18,700
Found in Bob's attic is the
only surviving copy of an interview

368
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,300
he gave with Sid Green
and Dick Hills,

369
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:24,540
famous at the time as the writers
of The Morecambe and Wise Show.

370
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:29,180
You basically gave up comedy,
did you? Yes.

371
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:32,020
And now you're taking up
straight acting?

372
00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:33,540
Yes.

373
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:36,540
Why have you given up
being a comedy performer full-time

374
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:38,100
to become a straight actor?

375
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,580
You've seen me in summer show,

376
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:42,020
you'll realise it's not really
a change of technique.

377
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,220
He's too sexy.

378
00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:45,500
You have put your finger on it.

379
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:51,700
Bob decided
he was now a serious actor,

380
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:54,980
and spent the next few years trying
to get as far away as possible

381
00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:59,780
from the slick comedy Bob Monkhouse
persona he had so carefully created.

382
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:07,460
I directed him in one play
when I was at Rediffusion.

383
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,060
BELL RINGS

384
00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:12,260
And I was very, very surprised,

385
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,980
cos he wasn't an obvious choice,

386
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:16,700
he wasn't
an established straight actor.

387
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,500
In the drama Bug,

388
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:21,580
he publicly dismantled
the showbiz Bob Monkhouse,

389
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,580
greying out the famous eyebrows,

390
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:26,620
replacing the
sharp suit with a tatty old cardigan

391
00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:27,940
and, more significantly,

392
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,180
losing the gleaming smile.

393
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,700
Yes? Mr QP Jakes? Yes?

394
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,540
I'm Mr RJ Smelley.

395
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:38,700
I don't think he chose it. I think
he accepted it, accepted the role.

396
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:43,660
I mean, he hadn't done enough
television drama to be choosy.

397
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,020
Evidence, Mr Smelley?

398
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:47,660
You're asking me for evidence?

399
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,660
Cos evidence
is one thing I have got.

400
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:52,300
If you've come here for evidence,
that's one thing I supply.

401
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,780
I thought he was quite good in Bug.

402
00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:56,060
He pulled
those rather strange faces,

403
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:58,180
he had that rather strange
hunched-up shoulders

404
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,260
and that kind of...
those mannerisms.

405
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,900
In fact, this was an unhappy time
for Monkhouse,

406
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,300
both on screen and off.

407
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:10,580
He was a lost soul, professionally,

408
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:13,180
and at home,
his marriage was falling apart.

409
00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:15,860
How are you?

410
00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:17,260
I'm all right, thank you.

411
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:25,620
The dozens of home movies
found at the house,

412
00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:28,020
and broadcast here
for the first time,

413
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,540
show the Monkhouse family
in happier times.

414
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:38,420
Beautiful wife, Elizabeth,
sons, Gary and Simon,

415
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:39,860
and daughter, Abigail.

416
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:44,500
Bob and Elizabeth met when they were
both in the RAF,

417
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,700
and married in 1949.

418
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,340
But the marriage seemed jinxed
right from the start.

419
00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:55,020
Bob's mother disapproved of the
marriage so much

420
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:58,060
that she didn't speak to him
for the next 20 years.

421
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,180
She didn't go to the wedding,
and that was it.

422
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:03,380
He was very upset, obviously.

423
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:05,380
The first time he'd been married,

424
00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:07,860
and he was upset about it.

425
00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:10,700
She didn't like Elizabeth.
That was the basis of it,

426
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:15,620
that he married beneath what she
thought he should have done.

427
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,820
She came in, and I said,

428
00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:20,740
"Hello, Mrs Monkhouse.
I'm Dabber Davis."

429
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:23,100
She said, "Dabber?
What a stupid name!"

430
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,740
I'd never met her before in my life!

431
00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:26,860
And she always called him Robert.

432
00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:30,340
Never Bob. If you said,
"I was talking to Bob..."

433
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:32,300
"Robert."

434
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,500
Very strange lady!

435
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,580
Bob and the new Mrs Monkhouse
soldiered on,

436
00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:40,580
but their life changed dramatically

437
00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:43,420
with the birth
of their first child in 1951.

438
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:48,980
Gary Monkhouse was diagnosed
with cerebral palsy

439
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:50,620
shortly after he was born.

440
00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:55,620
Becoming a father to the sweet,
good-looking,

441
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:57,460
but physically disabled Gary

442
00:20:57,460 --> 00:21:00,260
was the defining relationship
of Bob's life.

443
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:03,740
Bob was...

444
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:07,340
He was very sad, very sad about it.

445
00:21:07,340 --> 00:21:09,580
We all were. I mean, my wife,

446
00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:14,580
and Denis Goodwin, and Barbara,
his wife, were all very upset.

447
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:19,700
Bob had...some terrible things
happen in his life,

448
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:21,420
particularly with his children,

449
00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:25,180
and it just shows
the mark of him as a professional

450
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:28,300
that the mask
that he put on to the public

451
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:30,980
was completely different to
the person he was at home,

452
00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:32,540
and the things he had to deal with.

453
00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:36,700
Well, yes, there was
a lot of sadness in Bob's life,

454
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:40,260
and typically him, you wouldn't know
it most of the time. The mask...

455
00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:42,180
..was kept on.

456
00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:46,420
At home, the man behind the mask

457
00:21:46,420 --> 00:21:48,580
often turned the camera
onto his family

458
00:21:48,580 --> 00:21:51,100
with his elaborate home movies.

459
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,300
They have
professionally-made titles,

460
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:56,460
and a film made with his son
Simon is more Gothic horror

461
00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:57,740
than light entertainment.

462
00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:59,700
MUSIC: Pictures of You by The Cure

463
00:22:04,340 --> 00:22:08,100
# I've been looking so long
at these pictures of you... #

464
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:09,820
In the early years of the marriage,

465
00:22:09,820 --> 00:22:13,140
the Monkhouses enjoyed
a glamorous, showbiz lifestyle,

466
00:22:13,140 --> 00:22:15,220
and Bob
took along his camera to events

467
00:22:15,220 --> 00:22:17,300
like this celebrity cricket match,

468
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:21,060
and came away with unique colour
film of comedian friends

469
00:22:21,060 --> 00:22:23,500
like Harry Secombe
and Norman Wisdom.

470
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:27,180
# The pictures are all
I can feel... #

471
00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:33,900
The 1950s and early '60s were
incredibly busy periods for Bob.

472
00:22:33,940 --> 00:22:36,740
Inevitably, family life suffered

473
00:22:36,740 --> 00:22:39,420
as Bob and Elizabeth
drifted further apart.

474
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:45,700
When you're
a professional performer,

475
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:48,540
it doesn't really chime
with family life.

476
00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:51,140
You can either be a successful
professional performer

477
00:22:51,140 --> 00:22:52,380
or you can be a family man.

478
00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:54,020
The two don't really mix.

479
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:56,700
And I suppose
I would have to confess,

480
00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:59,580
I probably saw more of Dad
on television than in person,

481
00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:01,580
because he was on so much!

482
00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:07,380
Bob admitted later to a string
of affairs during the marriage,

483
00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:09,140
including one with Diana Dors.

484
00:23:10,740 --> 00:23:13,940
By 1967, his marriage was over,

485
00:23:13,940 --> 00:23:16,580
and his television career
looked like going the same way.

486
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:22,180
The two years Bob had spent making
drama had taught him one thing.

487
00:23:22,180 --> 00:23:25,620
More than anything else, more than
money and fame,

488
00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:27,780
and sometimes more vital
than family,

489
00:23:27,780 --> 00:23:29,940
was his need to hear laughter.

490
00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:38,420
In January 1967,

491
00:23:38,420 --> 00:23:40,340
his prayers were answered,

492
00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:44,220
when he was asked to host
television's biggest variety show,

493
00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:46,700
Sunday Night
at the London Palladium.

494
00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:49,460
..And your host, Bob Monkhouse!

495
00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:53,100
Bob Monkhouse had come home.

496
00:23:56,140 --> 00:23:57,740
Thank you.

497
00:23:57,740 --> 00:24:01,020
Thank you, thank you.

498
00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:03,260
Well, so much for the ad-libs.

499
00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:07,540
May I say how welcome you are
to the Palladium.

500
00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:09,180
Forgive my being dressed like this.

501
00:24:09,180 --> 00:24:11,020
We were expecting a party
of bookmakers

502
00:24:11,020 --> 00:24:12,500
which would have been great for me

503
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:14,740
cos they haven't stopped laughing
since yesterday.

504
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:17,220
I'm all dressed for the races.

505
00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:20,180
I was up in the northeast, and I
went over to see the Grand National.

506
00:24:20,180 --> 00:24:21,420
I was playing some clubs.

507
00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:24,140
They have wonderful names,
these clubs up in the north-east,

508
00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:26,260
like La Marimba, La Bamba,

509
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:28,020
La Dolce Vita,

510
00:24:28,020 --> 00:24:31,140
Tito's. It sounds great. I played a
club once in Spain,

511
00:24:31,140 --> 00:24:33,460
called Los Caballeros,
for three nights,

512
00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:35,420
before I found out
it was the gents'.

513
00:24:35,420 --> 00:24:36,940
LAUGHTER

514
00:24:36,940 --> 00:24:38,980
I liked it!

515
00:24:38,980 --> 00:24:41,660
They gave me a standing ovation.
But nevertheless...

516
00:24:41,660 --> 00:24:42,980
LAUGHTER

517
00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:47,500
Bob's three-month stint
as compere of the Palladium show

518
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:49,820
was one of the biggest
turning points of his career.

519
00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:52,860
He regained the sparkle
he had lost

520
00:24:52,860 --> 00:24:55,580
in the years away from
direct contact with his audience.

521
00:24:56,660 --> 00:24:58,540
His growing confidence, good looks

522
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:01,740
and gift for joke telling
came together like never before.

523
00:25:03,140 --> 00:25:06,380
The press described him
as astonishing and mesmerising.

524
00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:09,660
Bob Monkhouse was back...

525
00:25:09,660 --> 00:25:10,860
big time.

526
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:17,860
Sadly, every single one of
these shows was thrown away by ATV.

527
00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:22,980
Luckily, Bob Monkhouse was, as
usual, one step ahead of the pack.

528
00:25:25,180 --> 00:25:27,260
We're only able to watch
these performances

529
00:25:27,260 --> 00:25:30,220
because Bob was one of the few
people in Britain at this time

530
00:25:30,220 --> 00:25:32,140
with a video recorder at home.

531
00:25:37,020 --> 00:25:40,500
The Sony CV-2000

532
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,820
was the first video recorder made
for home use.

533
00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:45,660
It was more expensive than a car,

534
00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:48,020
but Bob Monkhouse
just had to have one.

535
00:25:49,860 --> 00:25:52,500
This is Bob's first video recorder,

536
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,100
and it still works.

537
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:56,900
He bought it just in time to start

538
00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,860
recording some of
his finest moments.

539
00:25:58,860 --> 00:26:00,980
The Palladium shows,

540
00:26:00,980 --> 00:26:02,580
and The Golden Shot.

541
00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:03,620
GUNSHOT

542
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:07,980
APPLAUSE

543
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:09,020
SQUEALS

544
00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:10,820
BANGS

545
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:11,860
Hello!

546
00:26:21,420 --> 00:26:24,660
Der Goldene Schuss
was a hit on German television.

547
00:26:26,100 --> 00:26:28,580
The game show with
telephones and crossbows

548
00:26:28,580 --> 00:26:30,580
was perfect for Bob Monkhouse.

549
00:26:31,660 --> 00:26:34,020
When he saw the format for The
Golden Shot,

550
00:26:34,020 --> 00:26:36,100
he could see its potential.

551
00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:37,260
And bear in mind,

552
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:40,340
all his life he'd loved technology,
and suddenly all this new stuff...

553
00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:43,020
Oh, it was a new playground
to play in.

554
00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,580
RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES PLAYS

555
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:49,260
Peter, I'm going to do
a new series on television.

556
00:26:49,260 --> 00:26:52,260
I've read about it, congratulations.
The Golden Shot.

557
00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:54,740
That's right.
I'd like you to be my first target.

558
00:27:01,540 --> 00:27:06,340
People used to
shoot at apples with a crossbow.

559
00:27:06,340 --> 00:27:08,820
Fire. It's a banger!
You win a bonus prize.

560
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:10,660
And there it is.
APPLAUSE

561
00:27:10,660 --> 00:27:14,340
Up a bit, left a bit,
right a bit, fire.

562
00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:16,660
In ten seconds...

563
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:22,220
Can you imagine, with health
and safety breathing down your neck,

564
00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:23,820
doing The Golden Shot now?

565
00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:28,060
Live crossbows, bolts flying through
the air hitting targets...

566
00:27:28,060 --> 00:27:30,300
Fire! Well sized up!

567
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,620
Fire. Yes, and a banger!

568
00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:36,900
..and inexperienced contestants
handling this lethal equipment?

569
00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:38,220
It was quite astonishing.

570
00:27:38,220 --> 00:27:40,660
I'm not too sure where it went,
but it didn't go in here.

571
00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:42,820
It's down here.
It practically took me toe off!

572
00:27:42,820 --> 00:27:44,420
It rebounded.
LAUGHTER

573
00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:46,060
Oh, it's very pretty indeed.

574
00:27:46,060 --> 00:27:49,060
They're trying to tell me it's safe,
but I don't think it is.

575
00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:51,300
'No-one got hurt
that I can remember...'

576
00:27:52,260 --> 00:27:53,300
..or that I know of.

577
00:27:56,380 --> 00:28:00,100
Bob Monkhouse reworked
The Golden Shot to suit himself,

578
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:03,860
and invented a new type of slick,
colourful light entertainment.

579
00:28:05,980 --> 00:28:10,180
You'd have people singing
or doing a comedy spot.

580
00:28:10,180 --> 00:28:15,180
It was really sort of a variety
show, a game show...

581
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:16,780
everything.

582
00:28:16,780 --> 00:28:21,820
# Whoa, whoa, jet plane
flying high above me. #

583
00:28:22,780 --> 00:28:26,500
It's down here that on
the 12th, that's last Monday,

584
00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:28,620
the grouse season started.

585
00:28:28,620 --> 00:28:30,700
Bang-bang-bang, all those
grouse shooters,

586
00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:33,260
all banging
away at those birds in the...

587
00:28:34,940 --> 00:28:36,820
Are you all right? Sorry.

588
00:28:36,820 --> 00:28:39,220
I must say, standing next to
Cathy you very look boring.

589
00:28:39,220 --> 00:28:41,220
Oh, thank you.
LAUGHTER

590
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:44,180
He was so assured. He was so
comfortable in that environment.

591
00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:48,340
You knew if the wheels fell off
on a live show, Bob could cover it.

592
00:28:48,340 --> 00:28:52,140
And things were always going wrong,
because it WAS a live programme.

593
00:28:52,140 --> 00:28:55,820
And this contestant has scored...

594
00:28:55,820 --> 00:28:59,500
Hang on, 135... 135.

595
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:01,820
..less a penalty of 27,

596
00:29:01,820 --> 00:29:03,940
which is 135...

597
00:29:03,940 --> 00:29:05,820
130.
A hundred and...

598
00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:09,180
138?

599
00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:10,500
Yes?

600
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:12,020
I don't know what it is!

601
00:29:12,020 --> 00:29:13,300
LAUGHTER

602
00:29:13,300 --> 00:29:15,980
She's goofed with her sums,
that thing hasn't worked,

603
00:29:15,980 --> 00:29:18,860
the crossbow's misfired,
the contestant's not terribly good,

604
00:29:18,860 --> 00:29:22,620
but my God, he's still managing to
polish some comedy gold

605
00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:24,300
from this awful situation

606
00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:28,340
where you knew that other performers
would struggle and flounder.

607
00:29:28,340 --> 00:29:29,700
And now my golden telephone

608
00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:31,260
will make a noise like Rod...

609
00:29:31,260 --> 00:29:33,020
PHONE RINGS
Not yet.

610
00:29:33,020 --> 00:29:34,300
..will make a noise...

611
00:29:34,300 --> 00:29:36,500
I haven't finished the joke yet!
LAUGHTER

612
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:38,540
He was clever enough
to actually work through

613
00:29:38,540 --> 00:29:43,540
anything that happened and make
jokes about it or make light of it.

614
00:29:43,540 --> 00:29:46,580
She's terrified, crouching in the
corner, our Annie is,

615
00:29:46,580 --> 00:29:48,820
cos she's very scared
of these fireworks.

616
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:51,300
This is the only show on TV
that has fireworks. Unheard of.

617
00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:53,700
It's no good going like that,
George. How can I speed up

618
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:55,460
when I don't know the score?
LAUGHTER

619
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,380
"Oh, dear. Oh, well."

620
00:29:57,380 --> 00:30:00,020
"Quickly, get something done about
this!" You know.

621
00:30:00,020 --> 00:30:01,500
It was always like that.

622
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:04,700
It was chaotic, and people used to
watch the show

623
00:30:04,700 --> 00:30:08,260
because they used to hope
that things would go wrong.

624
00:30:12,820 --> 00:30:15,620
A search through his filing cabinets
revealed that

625
00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:18,540
Bob kept everything
related to the show,

626
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:21,460
every detail of every contestant...

627
00:30:21,460 --> 00:30:24,740
AUDIENCE: Here's Bobby!

628
00:30:24,740 --> 00:30:27,300
..long memos
about the running of the studio...

629
00:30:29,620 --> 00:30:32,300
..the set designers'
original plans for the targets...

630
00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:37,500
..and a letter
from the show's German creator

631
00:30:37,500 --> 00:30:40,740
trying to sell
another very similar idea.

632
00:30:40,740 --> 00:30:42,700
Sehr geehrte Herr Monkhouse.

633
00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:46,140
A space spectacular combining
a musical game show

634
00:30:46,140 --> 00:30:47,580
with space education.

635
00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:51,620
Space objects like Geminis
and spaceships in a studio orbit.

636
00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:53,260
Ich hoffe Ihnen gefaellt diese Idee,

637
00:30:53,260 --> 00:30:55,180
und freue mich
um von Ihnen zu hoehren.

638
00:30:55,180 --> 00:30:57,180
Mit freundlichen Gruessen,
Hannes Schmidt.

639
00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:00,900
Meanwhile, back on planet earth,

640
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:03,380
The Golden Shot was a huge hit,

641
00:31:03,380 --> 00:31:05,740
and Bob Monkhouse was at
the height of the fame

642
00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:07,620
he had worked so hard to achieve.

643
00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:13,940
But the wheels were about to
fall off this golden gravy train.

644
00:31:16,180 --> 00:31:19,900
ATV bosses Lew Grade and Francis
Essex

645
00:31:19,900 --> 00:31:23,060
had been told that Monkhouse
was taking bribes

646
00:31:23,060 --> 00:31:25,580
to include brand-name products
as prizes.

647
00:31:28,380 --> 00:31:30,180
Bob always denied it,

648
00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:33,340
but he was told that
the next episode would be his last.

649
00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:40,420
When Francis Essex asked Bob to
leave the show, it was devastating.

650
00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:43,820
In fact, he said to me,

651
00:31:43,820 --> 00:31:48,820
he said "I said to Francis,
Well, Francis, this is a big deal.

652
00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:53,660
"Actually, it's an awful lot of
money that I'm not going to get."

653
00:31:53,660 --> 00:31:56,820
And Francis said, "That's the way
it is, old chum. You've got to go."

654
00:31:56,820 --> 00:31:59,740
He was very hurt and he was very
bitter about it,

655
00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:04,140
because he thought
Francis would have given him

656
00:32:04,140 --> 00:32:05,980
the benefit of the doubt.

657
00:32:05,980 --> 00:32:08,940
But Francis didn't,
and that's history.

658
00:32:14,740 --> 00:32:17,020
The recording of that final show

659
00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:19,540
is one of the gems
of the Monkhouse archive,

660
00:32:19,540 --> 00:32:21,380
and the only surviving copy.

661
00:32:22,460 --> 00:32:25,420
Today it's a time of
mixed feelings for me,

662
00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:29,660
as you can imagine, mixed emotions,
for this is my last Golden Shot.

663
00:32:29,660 --> 00:32:33,340
After 220-odd programmes
and over four years,

664
00:32:33,340 --> 00:32:35,140
this is the last time on
a Sunday afternoon

665
00:32:35,140 --> 00:32:37,100
I shall say any of these words,

666
00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:38,900
and that makes me very sad.

667
00:32:38,900 --> 00:32:42,460
It shows Bob unable to believe
the show was over for him.

668
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:44,660
For once, he's distracted,

669
00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:47,100
making a dozen references
to his sacking,

670
00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:51,220
and his ad-libbed jokes
have a darker edge than usual,

671
00:32:51,220 --> 00:32:54,500
with even a reference to the killing
of his replacement, Norman Vaughan,

672
00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:56,860
all live on a Sunday afternoon.

673
00:33:00,180 --> 00:33:03,460
And Mrs Blamires, erm,

674
00:33:03,460 --> 00:33:05,460
well, I'm not too sure where it is.

675
00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:08,100
Her bolt went somewhere
in the back of the studio.

676
00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:10,460
Wouldn't it be awful
if it had killed Norman Vaughan?

677
00:33:10,460 --> 00:33:11,660
LAUGHTER

678
00:33:11,660 --> 00:33:13,660
What would happen next week?
I can't imagine.

679
00:33:15,140 --> 00:33:17,060
Well, he shot one of the centuries.

680
00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:19,460
He was the first man
to shoot a century at Lord's.

681
00:33:19,460 --> 00:33:20,940
To hit a century at Lord's.

682
00:33:20,940 --> 00:33:22,100
LAUGHTER

683
00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:24,140
It's better when you
say "hit", isn't it?

684
00:33:24,140 --> 00:33:25,780
Well, well...

685
00:33:27,820 --> 00:33:29,900
This has got a lifetime guarantee,
this watch.

686
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:32,620
When the mainspring breaks,
it slashes your wrist. And, erm...

687
00:33:32,620 --> 00:33:33,660
LAUGHTER

688
00:33:35,060 --> 00:33:37,180
Things could be worse.
I could be here in person.

689
00:33:37,180 --> 00:33:38,220
LAUGHTER

690
00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:41,180
Last time I'll say that, too.

691
00:33:41,180 --> 00:33:42,860
We wanted targets that associated

692
00:33:42,860 --> 00:33:45,780
with sort of land, erm, milestones.

693
00:33:45,780 --> 00:33:47,340
I was about to say "land mines",

694
00:33:47,340 --> 00:33:49,020
and I'm not too far from the truth.

695
00:33:49,020 --> 00:33:51,660
Step back to that gold line.
Don't you dare!

696
00:33:51,660 --> 00:33:54,540
I'm mad with power.
Ha-ha! Bernie the Bolt!

697
00:33:54,540 --> 00:33:57,900
What can they do to me...
if I mugged you even as you aimed?

698
00:33:59,660 --> 00:34:02,020
So, that's the last little
topical routine

699
00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:03,740
that I'll have
the pleasure of doing.

700
00:34:03,740 --> 00:34:06,340
He was angry on the show,
and it does come out.

701
00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:09,860
The shackles are off, and he's
at liberty

702
00:34:09,860 --> 00:34:12,340
and loose enough
to say really what he wants,

703
00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:16,300
and at one point he does say,
"What are you going to do? Sack me?"

704
00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:19,060
And you work for one of the
companies, one of the airlines?

705
00:34:19,060 --> 00:34:21,180
Yes. Which one? You can say.

706
00:34:21,180 --> 00:34:23,460
BEA. Ah, you see? Isn't that grand?

707
00:34:23,460 --> 00:34:25,820
A lovely feeling for me.
What can they do, fire me?

708
00:34:25,820 --> 00:34:27,580
LAUGHTER

709
00:34:27,580 --> 00:34:28,940
HE LAUGHS

710
00:34:28,940 --> 00:34:31,580
It's not Bob.
It's not the way he was.

711
00:34:31,580 --> 00:34:35,220
It was a very sarky,
it was a malcontented Bob, it was...

712
00:34:36,380 --> 00:34:39,500
And he just got on with it, I think,

713
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:41,860
for the sake of getting on with it
and moving on.

714
00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:45,380
Ladies and gentlemen, it's goodbye
from us here, and goodbye from me.

715
00:34:45,380 --> 00:34:48,260
But I'd like to wish the very best
of luck to Norman Vaughan next week

716
00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:50,940
and ask you all to be as kind to him
as you've been to me.

717
00:34:50,940 --> 00:34:53,140
Bobby, we can't let you leave
like that.

718
00:34:53,140 --> 00:34:55,940
Before you go, we've got
a little presentation.

719
00:34:55,940 --> 00:34:57,460
Are we all right for time? Fine.

720
00:34:57,460 --> 00:35:01,220
Yes, we're OK. You'll find this
inscribed on the back there... John!

721
00:35:01,220 --> 00:35:02,900
..from everybody in the studio.

722
00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:04,300
It's a watch.

723
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:07,500
It's a little watch or a pen.
Awful present!

724
00:35:08,660 --> 00:35:11,500
Bob was replaced on air
with unseemly haste.

725
00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:15,060
Before the show was even over,
he was yesterday's man.

726
00:35:15,060 --> 00:35:18,180
The Golden Shot
now belonged to Norman Vaughan.

727
00:35:18,180 --> 00:35:20,100
Ta-ra from Birmingham!
APPLAUSE

728
00:35:20,100 --> 00:35:21,980
See you next week, 4.45! Ta-ra!

729
00:35:23,620 --> 00:35:28,100
He rang me after the show,
and he was in tears. And...

730
00:35:29,300 --> 00:35:31,300
It was nothing against
Norman Vaughan.

731
00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:36,300
He was as upset as I ever knew him
in all the time that I did know him,

732
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:39,980
because all the work that he'd done
to build up The Golden Shot

733
00:35:39,980 --> 00:35:44,460
had suddenly, it would appear,
evaporated into nothing.

734
00:35:49,700 --> 00:35:51,940
The sudden sacking from
The Golden Shot

735
00:35:51,940 --> 00:35:54,740
left Bob
with no television show of his own.

736
00:35:54,740 --> 00:35:57,820
To fill the gap, he went back to
the thing he loved the most,

737
00:35:57,820 --> 00:35:59,900
live stand-up comedy.

738
00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:03,420
In the end,
Bob always had the clubs,

739
00:36:03,420 --> 00:36:05,540
and he knew that would
last for ever.

740
00:36:07,740 --> 00:36:09,780
"If you haven't seen
Bob Monkhouse in cabaret,

741
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:11,500
"you've never seen a one-man riot."

742
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,860
That's what the Daily Mirror
said about me this year.

743
00:36:13,860 --> 00:36:17,020
I'm at the Talk of the North for two
nights only, May 8th and 10th.

744
00:36:17,020 --> 00:36:19,540
Book now for The Bob Monkhouse Show,
May 8th and 10th.

745
00:36:19,540 --> 00:36:20,780
I'll make you laugh!

746
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:24,980
I knew him from the quiz shows
and Bernie the Bolt

747
00:36:24,980 --> 00:36:26,540
and all that sort of thing,

748
00:36:26,540 --> 00:36:29,980
and I didn't realise how sharp and
what a perfectionist that man was.

749
00:36:29,980 --> 00:36:31,380
They'd seen him on telly

750
00:36:31,380 --> 00:36:34,260
and they'd seen him be all
that kind of slick, "Hey",

751
00:36:34,260 --> 00:36:38,100
but I'm not sure at the end,
people knew just how...

752
00:36:38,100 --> 00:36:40,420
He was VERY good live.

753
00:36:40,420 --> 00:36:43,260
He got a lot of respect from a lot
of the newer comics

754
00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:45,620
who'd never seen a guy
work like that. He was excellent.

755
00:36:46,820 --> 00:36:49,860
He was absolutely excellent. I don't
think people get how good he was.

756
00:36:49,860 --> 00:36:52,540
I'm going to miss that old Golden
Shot. Really going to miss it.

757
00:36:52,540 --> 00:36:53,700
AUDIENCE CHEERS

758
00:36:53,700 --> 00:36:57,060
Y'see, when I'm on television,
I try to pretend I'm a nice man.

759
00:36:57,060 --> 00:37:00,300
I'm not a nice man, I'm a nasty man.
I do really rotten things.

760
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:03,740
I send calendars to convicts
who are serving life sentences.

761
00:37:03,740 --> 00:37:04,940
LAUGHTER

762
00:37:06,300 --> 00:37:09,500
When he came to doing live gigs,
he was a lot more sexual innuendo,

763
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:11,940
a lot racier, a lot ruder.

764
00:37:11,940 --> 00:37:14,420
He wasn't blue
by any stretch of the imagination,

765
00:37:14,420 --> 00:37:18,140
but it wasn't the bloke
that you saw doing The Golden Shot.

766
00:37:18,140 --> 00:37:21,180
That I should be required to be any
kind of a jester,

767
00:37:21,180 --> 00:37:25,180
to respond gratefully on
behalf of the guests here tonight

768
00:37:25,180 --> 00:37:26,500
makes about as much sense...

769
00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:30,820
..as taking your wife
to a brothel and paying corkage.

770
00:37:30,820 --> 00:37:32,140
LAUGHTER

771
00:37:34,220 --> 00:37:37,580
I asked him about this. He said,
"Well, it's therapy. It's release.

772
00:37:37,580 --> 00:37:40,220
"You can't do all that on
television,

773
00:37:40,220 --> 00:37:43,740
"so I just really let 'em
have it when I'm working live."

774
00:37:43,740 --> 00:37:45,820
Birds and booze.
They killed my brother.

775
00:37:45,820 --> 00:37:47,700
He couldn't get either,
so he shot himself.

776
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:48,740
LAUGHTER

777
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:54,300
My father was ruined by hard drink.

778
00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:55,700
He sat on an icicle.

779
00:37:55,700 --> 00:37:57,340
LAUGHTER

780
00:37:57,340 --> 00:38:00,020
Thought he'd been attacked by an
Eskimo from the rear for a moment.

781
00:38:00,020 --> 00:38:01,820
LAUGHTER

782
00:38:01,820 --> 00:38:03,980
I went out with an Eskimo once.
We rubbed noses.

783
00:38:03,980 --> 00:38:05,300
I caught a case of sniff-ilis.

784
00:38:05,300 --> 00:38:06,700
LAUGHTER

785
00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:10,140
I remember seeing him in Birmingham
being incredibly rude.

786
00:38:10,140 --> 00:38:12,180
It was almost
single-entendre humour.

787
00:38:12,180 --> 00:38:15,220
A lot of the material here seems to
be very robust, to say the least...

788
00:38:15,220 --> 00:38:17,260
Mm! ..Very bawdy. Why is this?

789
00:38:17,260 --> 00:38:19,580
I don't think it's bawdy.
I think it's adult.

790
00:38:19,580 --> 00:38:21,860
I think this audience
is extremely quick-witted.

791
00:38:21,860 --> 00:38:23,740
The club audience,
I'm talking about.

792
00:38:23,740 --> 00:38:26,780
I think they've had a load of,
shall we say,

793
00:38:26,780 --> 00:38:29,820
disinfected pap from television
for a long time,

794
00:38:29,820 --> 00:38:31,860
which they like very well
in their own homes,

795
00:38:31,860 --> 00:38:34,780
but when they get together, they
want to hear something stronger,

796
00:38:34,780 --> 00:38:38,580
brighter, gayer and a little bit
more engaged to the adult taste.

797
00:38:38,580 --> 00:38:41,900
He used to do one about me,
and he'd say, "Oh, you know,

798
00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:43,860
"Anne Aston, she can't count
up to two

799
00:38:43,860 --> 00:38:45,780
"unless she lifts up her sweater."

800
00:38:45,780 --> 00:38:47,540
And I remember my father going,

801
00:38:47,540 --> 00:38:50,100
"Huh! I'll have a word
with him afterwards!"

802
00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:53,380
I'll miss that little girl.
She's a sweetheart.

803
00:38:53,380 --> 00:38:56,220
She has to take her sweater off to
count to two, but she's a sweetie.

804
00:38:56,220 --> 00:38:57,220
LAUGHTER

805
00:38:59,580 --> 00:39:02,020
This was a different Bob Monkhouse,

806
00:39:02,020 --> 00:39:04,100
up close to the audience,

807
00:39:04,100 --> 00:39:05,420
near the knuckle,

808
00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:07,220
no format to worry about,

809
00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:09,500
and he'd had a drink.

810
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:12,900
Bob did have a drink before the
show, a small glass of whisky,

811
00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:16,140
and I said, "I didn't know
you had a drink before the show!"

812
00:39:16,140 --> 00:39:20,300
And he memorably said to me,
"I never go on alone."

813
00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:21,820
What a joy to be here,

814
00:39:21,820 --> 00:39:25,860
what a delight to see you here in
this elegant khazi, what a thrill...

815
00:39:25,860 --> 00:39:27,100
LAUGHTER

816
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:29,380
It's an Arabic word. Means "palace".

817
00:39:29,380 --> 00:39:33,660
What a thrill to see you here
in the Aquarius, Chesterfield.

818
00:39:33,660 --> 00:39:36,900
Won't it look great when they get
it finished? Isn't it beautiful?

819
00:39:36,900 --> 00:39:38,380
LAUGHTER

820
00:39:38,380 --> 00:39:43,380
Bob's ritual was to have quite a big
chaser, quite a big slurp of whisky,

821
00:39:44,300 --> 00:39:45,860
and he'd bring it on with him.

822
00:39:47,180 --> 00:39:51,420
Bob, I think, liked to sort
of quell his excitement

823
00:39:51,420 --> 00:39:53,260
with a little bit of a softener.

824
00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:56,780
Once again, the evidence of
Bob's cabaret whisky routine

825
00:39:56,780 --> 00:39:59,020
was left behind in the house.

826
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:00,860
Dad worked a lot of nightclubs.

827
00:40:00,860 --> 00:40:03,900
He'd do cabaret, and I think
when he would leave,

828
00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:05,700
he would then take a drink with him.

829
00:40:07,300 --> 00:40:09,420
The whisky glass was never returned.

830
00:40:09,420 --> 00:40:12,300
And rather than throw a glass away,

831
00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:13,580
he'd put it in a cupboard.

832
00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:18,740
And over the years,
I came out with a lot of glasses.

833
00:40:18,740 --> 00:40:22,220
In fact, at home I've still got
a lot of those original glasses.

834
00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:25,300
And so there are cupboards
and cupboards of these glasses.

835
00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:27,260
They're very normal, very ordinary.

836
00:40:27,260 --> 00:40:30,220
I've got half-pint glasses,
I've got quarter-pint glasses,

837
00:40:30,220 --> 00:40:33,620
I've got jugs,
I've got frosted glasses.

838
00:40:33,620 --> 00:40:37,860
It was probably the most extensive
whisky-glass collection

839
00:40:37,860 --> 00:40:39,220
in the western hemisphere.

840
00:40:39,220 --> 00:40:42,780
Utterly valueless,
cos they were all different.

841
00:40:43,940 --> 00:40:46,900
To the crowd in the nightclub,
this was something special.

842
00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:49,580
Bob Monkhouse, the nice man from
the telly,

843
00:40:49,580 --> 00:40:52,180
live and dangerous.

844
00:40:52,180 --> 00:40:55,900
Bob said to me, "Last night,
I did the most awful thing.

845
00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:59,940
"I had a heckler at one of the
tables right in front of the stage.

846
00:40:59,940 --> 00:41:02,380
"And you know me,
I can handle hecklers."

847
00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:05,980
I said, "Of course, you've got
loads of lines to put them down."

848
00:41:05,980 --> 00:41:09,100
He said, "But for some reason,
this guy really got to me,

849
00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:13,140
"and I went over to the table and
I kicked him right in the teeth."

850
00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:15,940
But it's interesting, isn't it,
that even the greats can snap.

851
00:41:17,260 --> 00:41:22,340
# This is your golden day... #

852
00:41:22,540 --> 00:41:24,540
Meanwhile, back in Birmingham,

853
00:41:24,540 --> 00:41:27,140
The Golden Shot had struggled
without Bob.

854
00:41:27,140 --> 00:41:29,220
Norman Vaughan just didn't have it.

855
00:41:30,260 --> 00:41:33,100
Ladies and gentlemen, hello and
welcome to the new Golden Shot.

856
00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:34,900
Do you like it? Yes!

857
00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:36,540
I remember working with Norman.

858
00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:38,340
He was very sweet...

859
00:41:38,340 --> 00:41:40,580
but made the show look, erm,

860
00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:43,420
slightly more difficult
than Bob ever did!

861
00:41:43,420 --> 00:41:44,420
SHE CHUCKLES

862
00:41:45,460 --> 00:41:47,620
Ah, hang on.

863
00:41:47,620 --> 00:41:50,020
You want to fire again?
Take it again, please, Norman.

864
00:41:50,020 --> 00:41:51,860
Take it again? Something went wrong?

865
00:41:51,860 --> 00:41:55,340
Take it again, please.
Isn't that unusual? No! No?

866
00:41:55,340 --> 00:41:58,860
Who said that? OK, it's you, Alice.
I knew you'd be trouble to me.

867
00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:00,620
We're going to both go again,
are we?

868
00:42:00,620 --> 00:42:04,140
It was only when
other people did it afterwards

869
00:42:04,140 --> 00:42:06,620
that you realised
just how good Bob was.

870
00:42:06,620 --> 00:42:08,740
Norman Vaughan struggled a bit.

871
00:42:08,740 --> 00:42:10,380
He handed it on to Charlie Williams,

872
00:42:10,380 --> 00:42:11,860
who struggled a bit.

873
00:42:11,860 --> 00:42:13,380
Welcome to The Golden Shot.

874
00:42:13,380 --> 00:42:16,300
No, a tibula...
A tibia and a fibula.

875
00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:18,380
'Yes, and if you break one,
I can bandage it up.'

876
00:42:18,380 --> 00:42:19,860
And if I break one...

877
00:42:19,860 --> 00:42:22,740
There's no need to bother
about that, flower. Ooh, no!

878
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,740
When Charlie took over,

879
00:42:24,740 --> 00:42:29,740
it was a body blow for Bob to see
a show that he'd worked so hard on

880
00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:34,380
and put so much effort and time
and imagination into,

881
00:42:34,380 --> 00:42:36,660
into making it
the huge success it was,

882
00:42:36,660 --> 00:42:38,260
to see it go down.

883
00:42:38,260 --> 00:42:40,900
And then good sense prevailed,

884
00:42:40,900 --> 00:42:44,700
pretty much as Bob had anticipated,

885
00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:49,660
and as a result of an awful lot of
letters being sent to ATV,

886
00:42:50,020 --> 00:42:53,340
saying, "Please reinstate Bob
Monkhouse. He's marvellous."

887
00:42:53,340 --> 00:42:55,180
Thank you very much.
APPLAUSE

888
00:42:55,180 --> 00:42:57,020
Thank you so much,
ladies and gentlemen.

889
00:42:57,020 --> 00:42:59,980
It's like...coming home again.
This is just like my home.

890
00:42:59,980 --> 00:43:01,420
Filthy and full of strangers.

891
00:43:01,420 --> 00:43:03,380
LAUGHTER
HE LAUGHS

892
00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:07,940
Bob was back in charge of The Golden
Shot two years after being sacked.

893
00:43:09,100 --> 00:43:11,380
It was a triumphant return.

894
00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:14,100
But 1975 had a sting in the tail.

895
00:43:15,940 --> 00:43:18,500
Just as everything
was going Bob's way,

896
00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:22,140
the life of Denis Goodwin
was coming to a tragic end.

897
00:43:22,140 --> 00:43:25,620
You know, those awful words "Have
you heard about Denis Goodwin?"

898
00:43:25,620 --> 00:43:28,500
And oh, that was a bolt
from the blue. That was awful.

899
00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:33,220
I mean, it's terrible when anybody
goes, but Denis, from nowhere.

900
00:43:33,220 --> 00:43:37,060
We knew he was having a hard time
professionally and everything,

901
00:43:37,060 --> 00:43:40,260
but to hear he'd gone...
A complete shock.

902
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:43,620
Denis Goodwin killed himself

903
00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:48,140
with an overdose of sleeping tablets
in February 1975.

904
00:43:48,140 --> 00:43:50,020
Oh, I was shocked.

905
00:43:50,020 --> 00:43:52,700
Sad. It was a tragedy.

906
00:43:54,260 --> 00:43:56,060
And as I talk about it now,

907
00:43:56,060 --> 00:43:58,940
I feel the tragedy of it.

908
00:43:58,940 --> 00:44:01,540
Very sad. I was very upset.

909
00:44:01,540 --> 00:44:03,420
So was Bob.
He was in a terrible state.

910
00:44:05,140 --> 00:44:08,900
For a long time, we just used to
phone and talk about it

911
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,780
and didn't know what to do.

912
00:44:10,780 --> 00:44:13,020
But Bob had become so big,

913
00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:15,660
and he did everything he could
for Denis.

914
00:44:15,660 --> 00:44:18,780
But...didn't work, unfortunately.

915
00:44:18,780 --> 00:44:20,060
It's very sad.

916
00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:24,100
Denis had gone to Hollywood
to write for Bob Hope,

917
00:44:24,100 --> 00:44:27,340
but drink and drug problems
eventually caught up with him,

918
00:44:27,340 --> 00:44:28,620
and his career suffered.

919
00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:31,500
He was working in a tough
environment,

920
00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:32,980
a very competitive
environment.

921
00:44:32,980 --> 00:44:36,020
And Mr Hope had a legion of writers,

922
00:44:36,020 --> 00:44:38,940
and it was dog-eat-dog out there,
really tough, tough, tough times.

923
00:44:38,940 --> 00:44:41,620
And I don't think he could...

924
00:44:41,620 --> 00:44:45,260
compete in the way
that he wanted to.

925
00:44:45,260 --> 00:44:49,140
Bob's continuing success and Bob's
star shining bright

926
00:44:49,140 --> 00:44:51,820
maybe didn't help his disposition,

927
00:44:51,820 --> 00:44:54,660
which, sadly,

928
00:44:54,660 --> 00:44:56,220
led to his demise.

929
00:44:57,620 --> 00:44:59,380
With the death of Denis Goodwin,

930
00:44:59,380 --> 00:45:02,420
the last connection
with his early career had gone.

931
00:45:02,420 --> 00:45:04,900
He also had a new wife, Jackie,

932
00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:07,940
and together they embarked
on the next chapter of Bob's life.

933
00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:12,220
..and here he is, the star master
of Celebrity Squares,

934
00:45:12,220 --> 00:45:15,500
the big square himself,
Bob Monkhouse!

935
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:18,020
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Oh!

936
00:45:19,140 --> 00:45:23,340
Celebrity Squares was pure
and simple ITV entertainment,

937
00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:27,180
a giant game of noughts and crosses
with famous faces.

938
00:45:27,180 --> 00:45:29,180
Hello, celebrities!
ALL: Hello, Bob!

939
00:45:29,180 --> 00:45:30,860
Do you remember that old ATV show

940
00:45:30,860 --> 00:45:33,020
that ran for so long
called New Faces?

941
00:45:33,020 --> 00:45:34,980
Welcome to the sequel, Re-treads.

942
00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:37,020
LAUGHTER

943
00:45:37,020 --> 00:45:41,940
Nearly every one of its 138 episodes
was immediately wiped.

944
00:45:41,940 --> 00:45:43,820
It was throwaway TV,

945
00:45:43,820 --> 00:45:46,420
but not to its compere,
Mr Monkhouse.

946
00:45:46,420 --> 00:45:50,860
He saved 40 episodes,
containing some great moments.

947
00:45:50,860 --> 00:45:52,300
Ooh, good Gawd, it's snowing!

948
00:45:52,300 --> 00:45:53,340
LAUGHTER

949
00:45:53,340 --> 00:45:54,700
No, that's not...

950
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:55,900
I've got dandruff.

951
00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:57,660
LAUGHTER

952
00:45:57,660 --> 00:45:59,820
Well, keep it to yourself!

953
00:45:59,820 --> 00:46:02,220
Spike for Tony.
According to the old superstition,

954
00:46:02,220 --> 00:46:04,660
what does it mean if
a hen runs into your house?

955
00:46:04,660 --> 00:46:06,460
Erm...

956
00:46:06,460 --> 00:46:08,820
there's a cock in the district
on fertility drugs.

957
00:46:08,820 --> 00:46:10,180
LAUGHTER

958
00:46:10,180 --> 00:46:11,540
APPLAUSE

959
00:46:11,540 --> 00:46:14,780
Thank you! Thank you, folks!

960
00:46:14,780 --> 00:46:16,620
This could
mean a bonus for all of you!

961
00:46:17,820 --> 00:46:20,500
Now listen, Mr Monkhouse,
if you mean Ali,

962
00:46:20,500 --> 00:46:22,780
let me remind you,
I sting like a bee.

963
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:24,140
So watch what you're saying,

964
00:46:24,140 --> 00:46:25,780
or I'll punch you where,

965
00:46:25,780 --> 00:46:27,060
it really would be painful,

966
00:46:27,060 --> 00:46:28,500
right in the Secret Square.

967
00:46:28,500 --> 00:46:30,020
LAUGHTER

968
00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:32,620
I didn't realise how
much work people had put into it.

969
00:46:32,620 --> 00:46:35,700
People had been working on the jokes
with the writers.

970
00:46:35,700 --> 00:46:39,380
And I just showed up and messed
around, really! I was like this...

971
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:43,500
It was like I was
a big puppy on telly!

972
00:46:45,060 --> 00:46:49,740
Celebrity Squares cemented
the image of 1970s Bob Monkhouse,

973
00:46:49,740 --> 00:46:53,700
the slick game-show host dressed
in increasingly loud jackets...

974
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:57,420
..all of them specially made,

975
00:46:57,420 --> 00:46:59,900
and all of them carefully stored,

976
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:02,540
along with every tie
from every show.

977
00:47:08,220 --> 00:47:10,660
It was at this time that Bob's
popularity

978
00:47:10,660 --> 00:47:13,700
simultaneously reached
its highest and lowest point.

979
00:47:15,340 --> 00:47:17,620
In the same week in 1978,

980
00:47:17,620 --> 00:47:22,660
he was top of the list of most-loved
and most-hated people on television.

981
00:47:24,260 --> 00:47:27,700
Bob said to me once that he'd been
in lists of

982
00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:30,860
TV performers who are loved
and TV performers you can't stand,

983
00:47:30,860 --> 00:47:35,860
and as the great Bruce Forsyth
once observed, "I was in both."

984
00:47:36,620 --> 00:47:40,100
And Bob said he found himself in
widely different lists,

985
00:47:40,100 --> 00:47:43,380
popular and...
He said, "I'm a Marmite man.

986
00:47:43,380 --> 00:47:45,780
"You either like me
or you can't stand me."

987
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:49,380
And he said, "You have to live with
that. You can't please everybody."

988
00:47:49,380 --> 00:47:51,780
It's quite an achievement, really.

989
00:47:51,780 --> 00:47:55,180
Being top in both probably
kind of amused him in his own way.

990
00:47:55,180 --> 00:47:57,660
The thing that worked against
him, I think,

991
00:47:57,660 --> 00:47:59,780
was the fact that
he was so slick, you know?

992
00:47:59,780 --> 00:48:01,380
Bob was good at what he did.

993
00:48:01,380 --> 00:48:04,060
No matter
what talent a performer may have...

994
00:48:05,180 --> 00:48:08,020
..no matter what dedication, the
most important thing you can have

995
00:48:08,020 --> 00:48:10,580
is sincerity. That, I think,
is a performer's greatest asset

996
00:48:10,580 --> 00:48:12,940
and the key to a performance.

997
00:48:12,940 --> 00:48:15,060
Ladies and gentlemen, sincerity.

998
00:48:15,060 --> 00:48:17,460
Once you've learnt to fake that,
you're made.

999
00:48:17,460 --> 00:48:19,740
LAUGHTER

1000
00:48:19,740 --> 00:48:21,860
I've often heard people say
about Bob

1001
00:48:21,860 --> 00:48:24,700
that he was slick,
he was insincere.

1002
00:48:24,700 --> 00:48:26,060
Bob wasn't.

1003
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:27,620
That was his performance.

1004
00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:32,460
That performance was of a man always
in control

1005
00:48:32,460 --> 00:48:35,300
and with a joke
for every possible situation.

1006
00:48:35,300 --> 00:48:37,420
How many wings has a beetle?

1007
00:48:37,420 --> 00:48:41,100
The only Beatle I can think of
with Wings is Paul McCartney.

1008
00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:43,260
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

1009
00:48:43,260 --> 00:48:46,540
But all this confidence
hid a deep fear of failure.

1010
00:48:46,540 --> 00:48:48,700
It was a concern to him

1011
00:48:48,700 --> 00:48:52,420
that he didn't have
the comic, comedic instincts,

1012
00:48:52,420 --> 00:48:56,740
the natural comedic instincts of,
let us say, a Frankie Howerd

1013
00:48:56,740 --> 00:48:58,940
or a Tommy Cooper
or an Eric Morecambe.

1014
00:48:58,940 --> 00:49:01,900
And Bob did feel he
had to have ammunition

1015
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:05,780
to turn him into
the funny soul, you know?

1016
00:49:07,260 --> 00:49:08,940
Everybody needs ammunition,

1017
00:49:08,940 --> 00:49:12,140
but some people need it
more than others, you know?

1018
00:49:12,140 --> 00:49:15,580
And I think he felt,
perhaps wrongly,

1019
00:49:15,580 --> 00:49:18,540
that he had to be
completely armoured.

1020
00:49:18,540 --> 00:49:20,860
The Essex county council
have announced

1021
00:49:20,860 --> 00:49:23,900
they're spending £2 million a year
treating alcoholics.

1022
00:49:25,180 --> 00:49:26,940
Isn't that ridiculous?
LAUGHTER

1023
00:49:26,940 --> 00:49:29,380
It's high time those alcoholics
bought their own drinks.

1024
00:49:29,380 --> 00:49:30,460
LAUGHTER

1025
00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:35,780
Bob's need to find new jokes
became a lifelong obsession.

1026
00:49:35,780 --> 00:49:38,180
He hunted them down with a vengeance

1027
00:49:38,180 --> 00:49:41,020
and catalogued them all
in a series of ledgers,

1028
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:44,380
otherwise known as the famous
Bob Monkhouse joke books.

1029
00:49:45,700 --> 00:49:47,140
They were kind of works of art,

1030
00:49:47,140 --> 00:49:49,340
because as well as having
lovely handwriting...

1031
00:49:49,340 --> 00:49:52,140
He was a very dextrous man.
..he was a great artist.

1032
00:49:52,140 --> 00:49:54,380
And so he would sit doodling,

1033
00:49:54,380 --> 00:49:57,020
so at the end of the day
you'd say, "Show us your book,"

1034
00:49:57,020 --> 00:50:00,300
and he'd have lovely pictures of
me and other people in the room.

1035
00:50:00,300 --> 00:50:01,900
And as someone who can't draw,

1036
00:50:01,900 --> 00:50:04,140
I've always admired people
who can.

1037
00:50:04,140 --> 00:50:06,100
Again, it was something else
that made me think,

1038
00:50:06,100 --> 00:50:07,780
"This guy's quite a special bloke."

1039
00:50:07,780 --> 00:50:11,020
If Bob wanted a joke on a plumber,

1040
00:50:11,020 --> 00:50:13,420
if one of his contestants
was a plumber,

1041
00:50:13,420 --> 00:50:16,500
he would spin down to T for Trades,

1042
00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:17,780
open it up,

1043
00:50:17,780 --> 00:50:19,860
come to the section marked "trades",

1044
00:50:19,860 --> 00:50:24,300
go through carpenter,
window cleaner, car mechanic.

1045
00:50:24,300 --> 00:50:26,900
Ah, plumber. The joke books
went with him everywhere.

1046
00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:31,980
They were
an extension of his soul, really.

1047
00:50:32,580 --> 00:50:36,100
Just in case he came across
a situation which required a joke,

1048
00:50:36,100 --> 00:50:37,540
and he could refer to them.

1049
00:50:38,860 --> 00:50:42,100
In 1995, the joke books were
famously stolen

1050
00:50:42,100 --> 00:50:43,340
and held for ransom.

1051
00:50:44,420 --> 00:50:47,220
But after a long police
investigation, they were recovered

1052
00:50:47,220 --> 00:50:49,860
and handed back
to a grateful Mr Monkhouse.

1053
00:50:51,180 --> 00:50:55,020
..and here's your host,
Bob Monkhouse!

1054
00:50:55,020 --> 00:50:56,540
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1055
00:50:56,540 --> 00:50:58,220
Throughout the 1980s,

1056
00:50:58,220 --> 00:51:01,740
the Monkhouse juggernaut
was travelling at full speed.

1057
00:51:01,740 --> 00:51:05,660
Next came one of TV's greatest
game-show hits,

1058
00:51:05,660 --> 00:51:07,020
Family Fortunes.

1059
00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:11,220
Great! Oh, marvellous.
Thank you very much!

1060
00:51:11,220 --> 00:51:14,380
You know, applause like that
means only one thing to me.

1061
00:51:14,380 --> 00:51:15,900
It means we've fixed the sign.

1062
00:51:15,900 --> 00:51:16,940
LAUGHTER

1063
00:51:18,460 --> 00:51:21,100
Game shows were a vehicle,
they were a means to an end.

1064
00:51:21,100 --> 00:51:24,260
They weren't the be-all
and end-all. They were...

1065
00:51:24,260 --> 00:51:27,900
Get him on TV, give him
the chance to do his jokes,

1066
00:51:27,900 --> 00:51:31,340
and to make light
of various situations,

1067
00:51:31,340 --> 00:51:32,820
and joke with contestants,

1068
00:51:32,820 --> 00:51:35,980
remind the audience you're
a comedian but at the same time,

1069
00:51:35,980 --> 00:51:39,220
"Actually, I'm still a comedian,
I'm still a stand-up comic,

1070
00:51:39,220 --> 00:51:44,220
"and this is my tool just to keep
my profile high, in the public eye".

1071
00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:48,780
The game-show Monkhouse
was Bob's greatest creation.

1072
00:51:48,780 --> 00:51:50,860
He would change.

1073
00:51:50,860 --> 00:51:55,140
He would walk off that set at Family
Fortunes to his dressing room,

1074
00:51:55,140 --> 00:51:56,700
and he would change in the walk.

1075
00:51:58,340 --> 00:52:01,260
From the set to the dressing room,
he would change.

1076
00:52:01,260 --> 00:52:03,100
If someone knocked on the door...

1077
00:52:04,380 --> 00:52:07,540
..he would be Bob Monkhouse again.
"Come in!"

1078
00:52:07,540 --> 00:52:10,660
And the door would open, and he
would be the game-show host again.

1079
00:52:10,660 --> 00:52:11,900
It was quite...

1080
00:52:11,900 --> 00:52:14,220
It was fascinating,
quite honestly.

1081
00:52:16,580 --> 00:52:20,220
To his loyal fans,
Monkhouse had become Uncle Bob,

1082
00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:24,100
a permanent fixture on television
for the last 30 years.

1083
00:52:24,100 --> 00:52:26,140
He was part of the furniture.

1084
00:52:26,140 --> 00:52:30,020
So who better to turn bingo
into peak-time entertainment?

1085
00:52:30,020 --> 00:52:33,060
Cue Bob's Full House.

1086
00:52:33,060 --> 00:52:35,620
What happens to hamsters
at the age of three?

1087
00:52:35,620 --> 00:52:38,220
Mark? They die. That's right!
You just won the second game!

1088
00:52:38,220 --> 00:52:39,500
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

1089
00:52:40,940 --> 00:52:44,580
As the Monkhouse output became
more and more bland and formulaic,

1090
00:52:44,580 --> 00:52:47,940
even he began to worry
about his reputation.

1091
00:52:47,940 --> 00:52:49,060
He was always saying,

1092
00:52:49,060 --> 00:52:51,820
"There's a whole generation
don't know I'm a comedian.

1093
00:52:51,820 --> 00:52:53,300
"You know... Game-show host."

1094
00:52:53,300 --> 00:52:55,940
I think he probably did
more game shows than anybody.

1095
00:52:55,940 --> 00:52:58,700
And that rankled a bit with him.

1096
00:52:58,700 --> 00:53:00,900
He said, "I want to remind them
I'm a comedian."

1097
00:53:00,900 --> 00:53:05,940
He was, in a sense, ruined
by his success as a game-show host.

1098
00:53:06,820 --> 00:53:08,300
That was where the work was,

1099
00:53:08,300 --> 00:53:10,180
that was where the fame lay,

1100
00:53:10,180 --> 00:53:11,500
and that was his career.

1101
00:53:11,500 --> 00:53:13,260
I've given away too many prizes.

1102
00:53:13,260 --> 00:53:16,300
People don't and think, "Here's Bob
Monkhouse. He tells jokes."

1103
00:53:16,300 --> 00:53:18,860
They see me coming and they go...
COCKNEY: "It's Monk'ouse.

1104
00:53:18,860 --> 00:53:19,940
"He's got prizes.

1105
00:53:21,180 --> 00:53:22,980
"Keep 'im talkin'.
I'll look for his van."

1106
00:53:22,980 --> 00:53:24,420
LAUGHTER

1107
00:53:27,460 --> 00:53:29,100
For all his achievements,

1108
00:53:29,100 --> 00:53:31,660
Bob Monkhouse always felt that he
wasn't accepted

1109
00:53:31,660 --> 00:53:33,340
by the comedy establishment.

1110
00:53:35,380 --> 00:53:40,340
Bob did feel an outsider in many
ways. He said to me once about...

1111
00:53:40,340 --> 00:53:43,420
I think the word he used was the
"gang" or "the club",

1112
00:53:43,420 --> 00:53:45,660
Eric and Ernie,
Tommy Cooper, Frankie Howerd.

1113
00:53:45,660 --> 00:53:48,180
"Oh, they don't like me."
I said, "That's not true."

1114
00:53:48,180 --> 00:53:50,900
"All right, they don't reckon me.
I'm not one of them."

1115
00:53:50,900 --> 00:53:55,540
And you got a feeling that he'd
rather like to have been embraced

1116
00:53:55,540 --> 00:53:58,420
into that gang
and treated as a peer.

1117
00:53:58,420 --> 00:54:01,140
I think deep down
he was disappointed

1118
00:54:01,140 --> 00:54:03,700
that he didn't have the love
and affection

1119
00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:05,860
that Eric Morecambe
and Tommy Cooper had.

1120
00:54:05,860 --> 00:54:08,900
Bear in mind, he came from a very
middle-class,

1121
00:54:08,900 --> 00:54:11,460
well-to-do,
wealthy background.

1122
00:54:11,460 --> 00:54:13,940
Most of the comedians when he
started were blue-collar,

1123
00:54:13,940 --> 00:54:15,060
working-class guys,

1124
00:54:15,060 --> 00:54:19,260
so, from the get-go,
he was on the outside.

1125
00:54:19,260 --> 00:54:21,100
Bob was smart and posh, and...

1126
00:54:22,340 --> 00:54:24,540
He felt he wasn't one
of them, and he wanted to be.

1127
00:54:27,140 --> 00:54:30,220
Bob Monkhouse had become
a light-entertainment brand.

1128
00:54:30,220 --> 00:54:31,860
With his name in the title,

1129
00:54:31,860 --> 00:54:34,300
audiences knew exactly
what they were going to get

1130
00:54:34,300 --> 00:54:35,660
from Bob's Full House,

1131
00:54:35,660 --> 00:54:37,580
and Bob Says Opportunity Knocks.

1132
00:54:39,180 --> 00:54:41,420
He was at the very top
of his profession,

1133
00:54:41,420 --> 00:54:43,860
but he had also pulled off
the unenviable trick

1134
00:54:43,860 --> 00:54:48,900
of being disliked by both the old
guard and the new wave of comedians.

1135
00:54:49,140 --> 00:54:52,740
# 'Ello, John, got a new motor?
'Ello, John, got a new motor? #

1136
00:54:52,740 --> 00:54:57,660
When you had Rik and Ade and Alexei
Sayle and that group coming on,

1137
00:54:57,660 --> 00:55:01,500
it made Bob
seem a bit old-fashioned for a bit.

1138
00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:03,420
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen...

1139
00:55:03,420 --> 00:55:05,740
Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!

1140
00:55:05,740 --> 00:55:10,060
That whole instinct, that compulsion
which came out of punk, really,

1141
00:55:10,060 --> 00:55:13,460
which was "Anybody can get up
on stage and do something",

1142
00:55:13,460 --> 00:55:16,460
meant that the rough-and-ready
slightly won over

1143
00:55:16,460 --> 00:55:18,380
the slick and professional,

1144
00:55:18,380 --> 00:55:19,660
because it was newer.

1145
00:55:19,660 --> 00:55:22,020
Bob went through a phase
of being considered naff.

1146
00:55:23,020 --> 00:55:26,820
"He's a naff, mainstream,
derivative comic."

1147
00:55:26,820 --> 00:55:29,140
I said, "Every morning I wake up,
I go to the bathroom,

1148
00:55:29,140 --> 00:55:31,980
I look in the mirror and I want to
throw up. What's wrong with me?"

1149
00:55:31,980 --> 00:55:34,220
He said, "I don't know,
but your eyesight is perfect."

1150
00:55:34,220 --> 00:55:35,340
LAUGHTER

1151
00:55:36,540 --> 00:55:40,100
To make matters worse, in the
eyes of the alternative comedians,

1152
00:55:40,100 --> 00:55:43,500
Bob had become an enthusiastic
supporter of Margaret Thatcher

1153
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:45,180
and the Conservative party.

1154
00:55:45,180 --> 00:55:46,460
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1155
00:55:48,260 --> 00:55:50,540
Next Thursday at the polls,

1156
00:55:50,540 --> 00:55:53,900
it won't just be Bob, it'll be
Britain saying opportunity knocks.

1157
00:55:53,900 --> 00:55:56,780
CHEERING

1158
00:55:59,780 --> 00:56:03,300
And if we put Maggie back in for the
third time, we'll all be winners.

1159
00:56:03,300 --> 00:56:04,620
CHEERING

1160
00:56:05,700 --> 00:56:09,420
It probably didn't help
Bob's career at that point

1161
00:56:09,420 --> 00:56:11,100
that he was aligned
with Mrs Thatcher

1162
00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:13,580
because you had
all these Comic Strip people

1163
00:56:13,580 --> 00:56:17,140
and the new people, everybody's
material was based on anti-Thatcher.

1164
00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:20,060
So there wasn't a lot of room
for him probably on television

1165
00:56:20,060 --> 00:56:21,420
aside from the game shows.

1166
00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:25,580
I did say to him once, "Why did you
do that? Why did you...

1167
00:56:25,580 --> 00:56:30,580
"tie yourself to the Conservative
party quite so...visibly?"

1168
00:56:30,860 --> 00:56:33,380
And he said, "Well, I knew
Mrs Thatcher couldn't lose,

1169
00:56:33,380 --> 00:56:36,420
"and I wanted to be associated
with a winner."

1170
00:56:36,420 --> 00:56:38,540
Maybe that was a misjudgement.

1171
00:56:38,540 --> 00:56:41,580
Bob Monkhouse continued
his collecting habit.

1172
00:56:41,580 --> 00:56:43,940
At one stage,
he had the third biggest

1173
00:56:43,940 --> 00:56:46,500
private film collection
in the world.

1174
00:56:46,500 --> 00:56:50,780
However, with film industry hysteria
about video pirates escalating,

1175
00:56:50,780 --> 00:56:53,700
his famous collection
led to his arrest.

1176
00:56:53,700 --> 00:56:58,700
Part of the evidence was that
they found in his dustbin

1177
00:56:58,700 --> 00:57:02,980
a card from Terry Wogan's
young boy saying,

1178
00:57:02,980 --> 00:57:08,020
"Thank you for loaning us..."
I think it was a James Bond movie.

1179
00:57:09,740 --> 00:57:12,140
He wasn't stealing stuff and
exploiting it

1180
00:57:12,140 --> 00:57:13,820
in the commercial marketplace.

1181
00:57:13,820 --> 00:57:15,860
It was for his own personal use

1182
00:57:15,860 --> 00:57:17,820
and he shared it with the odd
friend.

1183
00:57:17,820 --> 00:57:22,620
I don't think he charged
Terry Wogan for renting his...

1184
00:57:22,620 --> 00:57:25,500
He wasn't making money out of
it in any way, shape or form.

1185
00:57:25,500 --> 00:57:26,860
He was just a collector.

1186
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:30,860
At one point,
our QC actually said to him,

1187
00:57:30,860 --> 00:57:34,780
"Bob, you know, if this case
goes against you,

1188
00:57:34,780 --> 00:57:38,140
"this could be a prison sentence."

1189
00:57:39,700 --> 00:57:44,100
After two long years, the case
was dismissed at the Old Bailey.

1190
00:57:44,100 --> 00:57:48,660
The judge had decided that lending a
film to Terry Wogan was not a crime

1191
00:57:48,660 --> 00:57:50,300
and Bob walked free.

1192
00:57:50,300 --> 00:57:52,460
I certainly don't feel
like a pirate any more.

1193
00:57:53,620 --> 00:57:55,580
It's terrible being a film pirate,
I believe.

1194
00:57:55,580 --> 00:57:57,620
You can't watch films with
a patch over one eye

1195
00:57:57,620 --> 00:57:58,980
and a parrot on your shoulder.

1196
00:57:58,980 --> 00:58:01,340
The hangover from the court case,

1197
00:58:01,340 --> 00:58:03,220
because it was very scarring
for Bob,

1198
00:58:03,220 --> 00:58:05,260
was that he didn't go out of
his way

1199
00:58:05,260 --> 00:58:07,180
to talk about his collection a lot,

1200
00:58:07,180 --> 00:58:10,300
and he kept it as private
as he could.

1201
00:58:10,300 --> 00:58:15,300
I could imagine that he would
have been paranoid, almost,

1202
00:58:15,380 --> 00:58:17,180
in a nice way,

1203
00:58:17,180 --> 00:58:20,860
about the threat to his collection.

1204
00:58:20,860 --> 00:58:23,300
He'd done nothing wrong.
He was just a collector.

1205
00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:28,780
From this point on, Bob's collection
was for his eyes only.

1206
00:58:30,140 --> 00:58:33,140
Away from the cameras, and away
from the TV studios,

1207
00:58:33,140 --> 00:58:35,780
Bob pursued his hobby
with renewed vigour.

1208
00:58:37,020 --> 00:58:41,380
The late '70s and early '80s
were a boom time for home recording,

1209
00:58:41,380 --> 00:58:45,140
with all kinds of machines
and formats hitting the shops.

1210
00:58:45,140 --> 00:58:48,700
I have video recorders
in every room of my house.

1211
00:58:48,700 --> 00:58:50,860
No, my wife won't let them
in the loo

1212
00:58:50,860 --> 00:58:52,780
because there's one thing
she does in there

1213
00:58:52,780 --> 00:58:54,220
she doesn't want freeze-framed

1214
00:58:54,220 --> 00:58:56,500
or played back
at a more convenient time.

1215
00:58:56,500 --> 00:59:00,580
Dad had about...must have had about
six machines in the house,

1216
00:59:00,580 --> 00:59:02,940
all recording things
at different times.

1217
00:59:04,740 --> 00:59:07,980
Jackie would call dinner and
say, "Dinner's on the table."

1218
00:59:07,980 --> 00:59:09,660
You wouldn't see him
for five minutes

1219
00:59:09,660 --> 00:59:11,980
while he was still sorting out
this tape or that tape.

1220
00:59:11,980 --> 00:59:15,060
If we were having a chat, a meeting
in the house,

1221
00:59:15,060 --> 00:59:17,260
going through material,

1222
00:59:17,260 --> 00:59:19,460
he'd look at his watch
and say, "Excuse me, Carl,"

1223
00:59:19,460 --> 00:59:21,140
and he'd disappear out of that room,

1224
00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:22,220
go into another room,

1225
00:59:22,220 --> 00:59:24,540
and set a VHS.

1226
00:59:24,540 --> 00:59:27,260
He'd disappear three or four times
during the course of an evening

1227
00:59:27,260 --> 00:59:28,580
to record stuff.

1228
00:59:30,020 --> 00:59:32,140
It was verging on obsession.

1229
00:59:32,140 --> 00:59:34,300
And then he would go away
on holiday,

1230
00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:37,620
so obviously wasn't there
to be able to record things.

1231
00:59:37,620 --> 00:59:41,460
And I know he sent off... He would
get the Radio or TV Times

1232
00:59:41,460 --> 00:59:45,060
and he would go through the listings
to see what was on

1233
00:59:45,060 --> 00:59:47,420
and mark what was wanted,

1234
00:59:47,420 --> 00:59:52,460
and send off a fax to somebody to
go and actually record them for him.

1235
00:59:52,620 --> 00:59:55,860
Now, this was a daily occurrence,
so when he came back,

1236
00:59:55,860 --> 00:59:59,660
he was probably recording maybe
eight hours of material a day.

1237
00:59:59,660 --> 01:00:03,580
And when he came back, there was all
this vast mountain of video tapes,

1238
01:00:03,580 --> 01:00:06,660
and in those days, video tapes
were big, chunky, bulky things.

1239
01:00:08,300 --> 01:00:12,460
Even Bob's enormous house wasn't big
enough to contain the vast amounts

1240
01:00:12,460 --> 01:00:14,980
of Betamax and VHS recordings.

1241
01:00:14,980 --> 01:00:17,460
The solution
was a new building in the garden.

1242
01:00:18,580 --> 01:00:20,860
Bob called it "The Boardroom".

1243
01:00:20,860 --> 01:00:25,900
There was so much recorded there
weren't enough hours in the day.

1244
01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:30,100
There weren't enough days left in
his life when he was middle-aged,

1245
01:00:30,100 --> 01:00:32,180
to watch all the stuff
that he amassed.

1246
01:00:32,180 --> 01:00:36,780
About 50,000 VHSs
in what he called the boardroom,

1247
01:00:36,780 --> 01:00:40,060
which was a shed... Sorry, Bob!

1248
01:00:40,060 --> 01:00:44,220
..that he had built in the
garden because he ran out of room

1249
01:00:44,220 --> 01:00:46,300
to house VHSs in the house.

1250
01:00:46,300 --> 01:00:49,620
I am fascinated by what his wife
must have thought of his shed...

1251
01:00:49,620 --> 01:00:50,900
LAUGHTER

1252
01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:52,540
..and his cellar.

1253
01:00:52,540 --> 01:00:55,540
It must have been impossible.
I really sympathise with her.

1254
01:00:55,540 --> 01:00:58,340
Jackie hated it, of course, cos
she wanted to throw stuff away,

1255
01:00:58,340 --> 01:01:00,860
but she daren't touch anything of
his stuff because

1256
01:01:00,860 --> 01:01:02,420
"I've got it, it's OK."

1257
01:01:02,420 --> 01:01:04,340
Jackie faced a constant battle

1258
01:01:04,340 --> 01:01:06,660
to keep Bob's collecting
habits under control.

1259
01:01:07,820 --> 01:01:09,420
She would maybe say to me,

1260
01:01:09,420 --> 01:01:11,620
"Where's this stuff appeared from?"
You know.

1261
01:01:11,620 --> 01:01:12,820
And I'd say, "Oh...

1262
01:01:14,340 --> 01:01:17,140
"it was in the back of the car.
I'd been keeping that.

1263
01:01:17,140 --> 01:01:19,780
"I forgot to bring it in
the night before a gig.

1264
01:01:21,140 --> 01:01:23,860
"Oh, I know nothing about it.
I don't want it.

1265
01:01:23,860 --> 01:01:26,260
"Just take it back home with you.
You keep it."

1266
01:01:29,100 --> 01:01:31,860
Bob Monkhouse loved the
art of comics.

1267
01:01:31,860 --> 01:01:33,940
He would buy hundreds every year,

1268
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:36,100
ranging from
his childhood favourites

1269
01:01:36,100 --> 01:01:38,020
to the very latest titles.

1270
01:01:40,860 --> 01:01:43,700
Bob was, himself,
a talented illustrator.

1271
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,460
As a precocious schoolboy,

1272
01:01:45,460 --> 01:01:49,100
he was supplying artwork
to the Beano and the Dandy.

1273
01:01:50,420 --> 01:01:55,420
He loved that. He would have loved
to have been a cartoonist, I think.

1274
01:01:56,020 --> 01:01:57,300
It would have made him happy.

1275
01:01:58,580 --> 01:02:02,380
Later, he was able to buy large
quantities of original comic art

1276
01:02:02,380 --> 01:02:05,220
which ended up
covering the walls of his house.

1277
01:02:13,380 --> 01:02:16,420
The attention to detail
that Bob brought to his collection

1278
01:02:16,420 --> 01:02:19,380
is, at times, bewildering,
but always unique.

1279
01:02:20,420 --> 01:02:24,140
His cataloguing of the magazine
TV Times is a case in point.

1280
01:02:25,180 --> 01:02:28,780
Bob kept the very
earliest examples of the TV Times.

1281
01:02:28,780 --> 01:02:31,020
Right from issue one,
Bob was collecting it.

1282
01:02:31,020 --> 01:02:34,020
And what was more, he was
collating it into bound volumes

1283
01:02:34,020 --> 01:02:36,500
and he was actually
writing inside those volumes.

1284
01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:38,500
Television was always live
in those days

1285
01:02:38,500 --> 01:02:40,860
and so it was very common for
artists to change

1286
01:02:40,860 --> 01:02:43,420
at the last minute, so what was
actually in the TV Times

1287
01:02:43,420 --> 01:02:45,100
would not actually be accurate.

1288
01:02:45,100 --> 01:02:47,700
Bob would go through and very
carefully cross out

1289
01:02:47,700 --> 01:02:50,060
who didn't appear
and write in who did appear.

1290
01:02:50,060 --> 01:02:51,660
And he'd go into minute detail.

1291
01:02:51,660 --> 01:02:54,100
He'd write in literally
every single member of the cast,

1292
01:02:54,100 --> 01:02:56,620
and that is something that people
would not normally do,

1293
01:02:56,620 --> 01:02:58,860
and I think it shows a lot
about Bob's personality.

1294
01:02:58,860 --> 01:03:02,380
So a programme such as Oh Boy!
would go out at 10.50 at night.

1295
01:03:02,380 --> 01:03:05,140
Bob would change the time
to reflect the true time

1296
01:03:05,140 --> 01:03:07,180
it went out at 10.37 and,

1297
01:03:07,180 --> 01:03:10,020
at the time, he was
the only person keeping that record.

1298
01:03:10,020 --> 01:03:11,420
You begin to wonder

1299
01:03:11,420 --> 01:03:15,500
whether he had some form
of compulsive collecting disorder.

1300
01:03:15,500 --> 01:03:18,820
It's fairly...extreme, you know,

1301
01:03:18,820 --> 01:03:22,740
annotating copies of
the TV Times

1302
01:03:22,740 --> 01:03:25,180
with what actually
went out on screen and so on.

1303
01:03:25,180 --> 01:03:27,700
I can't see
that served any useful purpose.

1304
01:03:28,740 --> 01:03:30,540
Armed with his TV Times,

1305
01:03:30,540 --> 01:03:33,580
Bob was able to record
all the television shows he wanted.

1306
01:03:34,660 --> 01:03:37,140
He had also, of course,
been recording radio shows

1307
01:03:37,140 --> 01:03:39,780
from as early as the 1940s.

1308
01:03:39,780 --> 01:03:42,820
Probably the most exciting part
of the Bob Monkhouse collection

1309
01:03:42,820 --> 01:03:45,220
is actually the audio part of it,

1310
01:03:45,220 --> 01:03:47,780
because it goes back to 1948,

1311
01:03:47,780 --> 01:03:50,740
which is far earlier than many other
broadcasters have kept material,

1312
01:03:50,740 --> 01:03:52,700
and it's absolutely unique.

1313
01:03:52,700 --> 01:03:56,860
There were radio recordings there
off air of people like Tony Hancock.

1314
01:03:56,860 --> 01:03:58,580
The Tony Hancock
Appreciation Society

1315
01:03:58,580 --> 01:04:00,420
were jumping up and down
in excitement.

1316
01:04:00,420 --> 01:04:02,220
They couldn't wait
to listen to them again.

1317
01:04:03,260 --> 01:04:05,460
In this unique Hancock's Half Hour,

1318
01:04:05,460 --> 01:04:10,380
Sid James and Tony get ready
for the 1958 Commonwealth Games.

1319
01:04:10,380 --> 01:04:13,420
SID: Now, I would have thought you
were a hammer throwing man, myself.

1320
01:04:13,420 --> 01:04:14,780
You have got the build for it.

1321
01:04:14,780 --> 01:04:17,020
You know, you've done some
in the past. I can see that.

1322
01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:19,300
TONY: No, no, no, no, you've
summed me up wrong there.

1323
01:04:19,300 --> 01:04:20,900
No. I'm a pole vaulter.

1324
01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:22,460
LAUGHTER

1325
01:04:22,460 --> 01:04:24,380
I had my best season this year.

1326
01:04:24,380 --> 01:04:25,860
3'6" last week.

1327
01:04:25,860 --> 01:04:28,420
LAUGHTER

1328
01:04:28,420 --> 01:04:30,260
3'6" and went over like a bird.

1329
01:04:30,260 --> 01:04:32,740
LAUGHTER

1330
01:04:32,740 --> 01:04:34,940
Yes, well, they're clearing
14ft in the Games.

1331
01:04:34,940 --> 01:04:37,380
Ah, yes, I know, but I'm
handicapped with my weight, you see.

1332
01:04:37,380 --> 01:04:38,500
LAUGHTER

1333
01:04:38,500 --> 01:04:40,420
I run along and dig the pole
in the ground

1334
01:04:40,420 --> 01:04:42,140
and I take off
and the pole sinks.

1335
01:04:42,140 --> 01:04:43,460
LAUGHTER

1336
01:04:44,500 --> 01:04:47,340
I might tell you, I have to let go
of it a bit sharpish to do 3'6".

1337
01:04:47,340 --> 01:04:48,340
LAUGHTER

1338
01:04:49,620 --> 01:04:51,020
We also have Bob to thank

1339
01:04:51,020 --> 01:04:53,460
for saving several performances
by Frankie Howerd.

1340
01:04:54,420 --> 01:04:56,060
Here is Frankie in full swing

1341
01:04:56,060 --> 01:05:00,740
in the only surviving recording
of Light Up Again from 1953.

1342
01:05:00,740 --> 01:05:03,500
Today I want you
all to be chummy and matey.

1343
01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:05,020
Not too matey, mate!

1344
01:05:05,020 --> 01:05:06,340
LAUGHTER

1345
01:05:06,340 --> 01:05:08,260
No, one seat, one person.

1346
01:05:08,260 --> 01:05:09,620
LAUGHTER

1347
01:05:09,620 --> 01:05:12,220
I mean, I don't mind you
putting your arms round each other

1348
01:05:12,220 --> 01:05:14,940
but have a thought for
the five people in-between you.

1349
01:05:14,940 --> 01:05:17,380
You take your festivities too far.

1350
01:05:17,380 --> 01:05:20,060
I went to this pet shop and there
was the owner, a little old man,

1351
01:05:20,060 --> 01:05:21,660
polishing a monkey. I said...

1352
01:05:21,660 --> 01:05:22,980
LAUGHTER

1353
01:05:22,980 --> 01:05:24,500
I said, "Good morning."
LAUGHTER

1354
01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:26,180
Come along now, please.

1355
01:05:26,180 --> 01:05:28,500
Thank you.
Don't doze off. So I said...

1356
01:05:28,500 --> 01:05:30,020
LAUGHTER

1357
01:05:30,020 --> 01:05:32,700
I said, "Good morning.
I think you're expecting me."

1358
01:05:32,700 --> 01:05:35,020
He said, "Yes, I've cleaned your
cage out." Cheeky devil!

1359
01:05:35,020 --> 01:05:36,260
LAUGHTER

1360
01:05:36,260 --> 01:05:37,660
Cheeky devil!

1361
01:05:37,660 --> 01:05:38,940
He loved comedy.

1362
01:05:38,940 --> 01:05:41,060
It was obsession, almost.

1363
01:05:41,060 --> 01:05:44,620
And he just wanted to know
why people laughed,

1364
01:05:44,620 --> 01:05:47,540
what were the new things that people
were laughing at,

1365
01:05:47,540 --> 01:05:50,740
or the new people
that the audiences were laughing at.

1366
01:05:50,740 --> 01:05:55,180
He wanted to understand it to make
sure he hadn't missed something.

1367
01:05:55,180 --> 01:05:57,980
It was a kind of
positive obsessiveness.

1368
01:05:59,500 --> 01:06:02,620
It led his mind
into all sorts of places

1369
01:06:02,620 --> 01:06:05,940
from which he profited,

1370
01:06:05,940 --> 01:06:10,260
both intellectually
and professionally.

1371
01:06:12,020 --> 01:06:15,300
One of the most exciting discoveries
was the audio recordings

1372
01:06:15,300 --> 01:06:19,100
of four episodes of Peter Cook and
Dudley Moore's Not Only But Also.

1373
01:06:21,020 --> 01:06:23,380
These were thought lost completely

1374
01:06:23,380 --> 01:06:26,260
but, thanks to Bob,
we can at least hear them again.

1375
01:06:27,340 --> 01:06:29,780
Here, have a taste of this.
Have a guess what it is.

1376
01:06:29,780 --> 01:06:32,100
I made it in the cookery class.

1377
01:06:32,100 --> 01:06:34,900
Um...I don't really know.

1378
01:06:34,900 --> 01:06:36,540
Is it a blancmange or something?

1379
01:06:36,540 --> 01:06:37,940
No, it's cauliflower cheese.

1380
01:06:37,940 --> 01:06:39,460
LAUGHTER

1381
01:06:39,460 --> 01:06:41,900
Good, isn't it? I thought
it was Esperanto tonight?

1382
01:06:41,900 --> 01:06:45,180
Well, they're combining Esperanto
and cookery in a crash course.

1383
01:06:45,180 --> 01:06:47,500
They give you the recipe
in Esperanto.

1384
01:06:47,500 --> 01:06:51,060
Oh, I see. Well, what is Esperanto
for cauliflower cheese?

1385
01:06:51,060 --> 01:06:53,380
I think this is one of the few cases

1386
01:06:53,380 --> 01:06:56,820
where the Esperantos use the same
word as we do. Cauliflower cheese.

1387
01:06:56,820 --> 01:06:58,300
LAUGHTER

1388
01:06:58,300 --> 01:07:00,420
There are no such people
as the Esperantos.

1389
01:07:00,420 --> 01:07:03,260
Esperanto is
a composite language, Dud.

1390
01:07:03,260 --> 01:07:05,220
There's no place called Esperanto?!

1391
01:07:05,220 --> 01:07:08,500
No. Oh, I wrote off for
two weeks there in August.

1392
01:07:08,500 --> 01:07:09,780
LAUGHTER

1393
01:07:09,780 --> 01:07:12,380
What's all this rubbish
you brought back?

1394
01:07:12,380 --> 01:07:14,980
What, these books?
These are my reference books.

1395
01:07:14,980 --> 01:07:17,460
Reference books? Yes. Angelique.

1396
01:07:17,460 --> 01:07:18,700
The Voyeur.

1397
01:07:18,700 --> 01:07:20,460
The Adventurers.

1398
01:07:20,460 --> 01:07:22,500
The Nude Ice Murders.

1399
01:07:22,500 --> 01:07:25,140
What sort of rubbish
is this you're digesting?

1400
01:07:25,140 --> 01:07:26,780
I'm writing a novel.

1401
01:07:27,820 --> 01:07:29,420
What kind of novel are you writing?

1402
01:07:29,420 --> 01:07:31,700
I thought a bestseller
would be a good thing.

1403
01:07:31,700 --> 01:07:32,700
LAUGHTER

1404
01:07:34,100 --> 01:07:37,940
In some ways it was easy for Bob
to acquire comedy memorabilia

1405
01:07:37,940 --> 01:07:41,300
because he always worked
alongside legendary performers.

1406
01:07:41,300 --> 01:07:43,140
ERIC AND ERNIE: # Whether they
cheer or boo

1407
01:07:43,140 --> 01:07:45,020
# You can see it through

1408
01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:47,100
ALL: # When you've somebody there
at your side. #

1409
01:07:48,500 --> 01:07:50,540
This very rare
Morecambe and Wise script

1410
01:07:50,540 --> 01:07:53,340
from their 1954 show, Running
Wild,

1411
01:07:53,340 --> 01:07:56,540
was picked up when Bob himself
was recording Fast And Loose

1412
01:07:56,540 --> 01:07:58,580
at the same BBC studios.

1413
01:08:00,620 --> 01:08:04,380
Likewise, Bob's time at ATV
in the 1970s

1414
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:06,500
gave him access
to a unique recording

1415
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:07,900
of another ATV show,

1416
01:08:07,900 --> 01:08:10,060
New Faces.

1417
01:08:10,060 --> 01:08:12,700
# You're a star, you're a star... #

1418
01:08:14,100 --> 01:08:17,740
The very first TV appearance
by a 16-year-old Lenny Henry

1419
01:08:17,740 --> 01:08:19,340
had been thought lost for ever.

1420
01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:23,860
I'd been looking for it
for 30-something years.

1421
01:08:23,860 --> 01:08:26,300
It was a very important document
to me

1422
01:08:26,300 --> 01:08:29,860
because the very first appearance
was where people saw

1423
01:08:29,860 --> 01:08:32,060
the promise in me
and the potential in me.

1424
01:08:32,060 --> 01:08:34,580
And I'd never seen it.
I'd never had it.

1425
01:08:34,580 --> 01:08:39,060
But the other day, I was
sort of on the phone to my PA

1426
01:08:39,060 --> 01:08:41,380
and she said, "Oh, somebody wants to
get in touch with you

1427
01:08:41,380 --> 01:08:42,620
"from Birmingham.

1428
01:08:42,620 --> 01:08:45,580
"They've got your first ever New
Faces appearance, and they're..."

1429
01:08:45,580 --> 01:08:47,940
And I went, "What, what
what, what, what?!"

1430
01:08:47,940 --> 01:08:49,460
I said "what" that many times.

1431
01:08:49,460 --> 01:08:51,020
"What?"

1432
01:08:51,020 --> 01:08:53,340
"They said they've got
your first-ever New Faces.

1433
01:08:53,340 --> 01:08:55,260
"It was in
Bob Monkhouse's basement."

1434
01:08:55,260 --> 01:08:56,780
LAUGHTER

1435
01:08:56,780 --> 01:09:00,460
He's a really new, exciting face
to television. Just 16 years old.

1436
01:09:00,460 --> 01:09:03,180
Enough from me. Let him express
himself in three minutes,

1437
01:09:03,180 --> 01:09:04,980
as we bring on Mr Lenny Henry!

1438
01:09:04,980 --> 01:09:06,740
APPLAUSE

1439
01:09:06,740 --> 01:09:10,940
MUSIC: Some Mothers
Do 'Ave 'Em Theme

1440
01:09:14,460 --> 01:09:17,340
AS FRANK: Who saw the Queen on
Christmas Day then, my darling?

1441
01:09:17,340 --> 01:09:18,940
LAUGHTER

1442
01:09:18,940 --> 01:09:20,740
That's my baby, Jessica, that is.

1443
01:09:22,900 --> 01:09:24,860
LAUGHTER

1444
01:09:25,740 --> 01:09:27,420
Oh!

1445
01:09:27,420 --> 01:09:29,420
There's a lot of people out there.

1446
01:09:32,460 --> 01:09:35,060
If you're wondering about
the slightly permanent suntan...

1447
01:09:36,340 --> 01:09:39,380
..it all started when Betty got me a
job as a salesman for Ambre Solaire.

1448
01:09:39,380 --> 01:09:41,020
LAUGHTER

1449
01:09:41,020 --> 01:09:43,100
It's not funny.
I only put a teaspoonful on.

1450
01:09:43,100 --> 01:09:45,420
I can't get it off now.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

1451
01:09:46,940 --> 01:09:50,180
And I'd been asking people for
years, "Have you got that first...?

1452
01:09:50,180 --> 01:09:52,460
"No, not the London Palladium
one where I did Al Jolson

1453
01:09:52,460 --> 01:09:54,180
"and sang Leaning On A Lamp Post..."

1454
01:09:54,180 --> 01:09:56,860
Christ knows why. "..but the first
one where I was doing stuff

1455
01:09:56,860 --> 01:10:00,420
that I'd written
that I'd worked in the clubs,

1456
01:10:00,420 --> 01:10:03,500
"Club Lafayette in Wolverhampton
and the Summerhill in Dudley.

1457
01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:05,220
"That material?"

1458
01:10:05,220 --> 01:10:08,100
That was definitely more Lenny
than that other stuff.

1459
01:10:09,300 --> 01:10:10,980
And the fact
that Bob recognised that...

1460
01:10:12,140 --> 01:10:13,380
..that was a big deal.

1461
01:10:13,380 --> 01:10:15,060
APPLAUSE

1462
01:10:17,300 --> 01:10:21,020
Suddenly, for...that performance
to show up again...

1463
01:10:22,460 --> 01:10:23,700
..that meant a lot to me,

1464
01:10:23,700 --> 01:10:25,940
and the fact that Bob had it,
and Bob always had it...

1465
01:10:27,860 --> 01:10:29,780
..it did make me see him in a
different light

1466
01:10:29,780 --> 01:10:32,300
because there was always a tinge of
respect there for him,

1467
01:10:32,300 --> 01:10:34,300
but my respect for him
went up hugely.

1468
01:10:34,300 --> 01:10:37,700
And I was incredibly grateful
to him for holding on to it,

1469
01:10:37,700 --> 01:10:39,500
cos nobody else had it.

1470
01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:42,220
Bob never stopped collecting comedy.

1471
01:10:42,220 --> 01:10:44,340
It was his passion and his life.

1472
01:10:45,420 --> 01:10:46,860
And in the Bob Monkhouse Show,

1473
01:10:46,860 --> 01:10:49,500
which ran from 1983 to 86,

1474
01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:53,180
he had the chance to share his
admiration for his fellow comedians.

1475
01:10:53,180 --> 01:10:54,700
APPLAUSE

1476
01:10:54,700 --> 01:10:58,420
This series is completely different.
It's all about comedy and comedians.

1477
01:10:58,420 --> 01:10:59,980
Comedians are always my heroes

1478
01:10:59,980 --> 01:11:02,340
cos they're the performers
who walk out on stage

1479
01:11:02,340 --> 01:11:04,740
with no excuse for being there,
except your laughter.

1480
01:11:04,740 --> 01:11:07,060
MUSIC AND APPLAUSE

1481
01:11:15,420 --> 01:11:17,540
CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

1482
01:11:28,100 --> 01:11:29,140
What is it?

1483
01:11:31,740 --> 01:11:35,820
Bend forward.
Now, you can look that way.

1484
01:11:35,820 --> 01:11:37,940
Now, I want you to
breathe in and out.

1485
01:11:37,940 --> 01:11:40,300
Me? Yes.
No, out with the mouth open.

1486
01:11:40,300 --> 01:11:42,220
With the mouth open?
HE PANTS

1487
01:11:42,220 --> 01:11:43,420
Yeah.

1488
01:11:43,420 --> 01:11:45,340
I'm not sure if
it's you or not, actually.

1489
01:11:45,340 --> 01:11:46,780
LAUGHTER

1490
01:11:46,780 --> 01:11:49,300
I've been getting these
obscene phone calls all week.

1491
01:11:49,300 --> 01:11:50,580
LAUGHTER

1492
01:11:53,700 --> 01:11:56,540
The '80s was a turbulent time
for comedy.

1493
01:11:58,580 --> 01:12:02,820
The new alternative comedians wanted
to replace the established stars,

1494
01:12:02,820 --> 01:12:06,700
and Bob was written off, along
with many others of his generation.

1495
01:12:06,700 --> 01:12:09,740
For all the good changes that
alternative comedy brought about,

1496
01:12:09,740 --> 01:12:12,580
we threw a lot of babies
out with the bathwater.

1497
01:12:12,580 --> 01:12:15,020
Bob Monkhouse,
unfortunately,

1498
01:12:15,020 --> 01:12:18,940
was lumped in with the
worst excesses of mainstream comedy.

1499
01:12:18,940 --> 01:12:20,900
When alternative comedy
came through,

1500
01:12:20,900 --> 01:12:23,340
he was linked with the likes
of Bernard Manning

1501
01:12:23,340 --> 01:12:25,340
and the likes of Jim Davidson,

1502
01:12:25,340 --> 01:12:26,500
and that wasn't fair.

1503
01:12:27,580 --> 01:12:29,660
However, as the '90s approached,

1504
01:12:29,660 --> 01:12:32,700
and pure stand-up comedy
came back into fashion,

1505
01:12:32,700 --> 01:12:35,500
Bob Monkhouse began to be seen
in a whole new light.

1506
01:12:36,580 --> 01:12:39,540
Suddenly, Bob's old school panache

1507
01:12:39,540 --> 01:12:44,460
and style and facility with a joke
became fashionable again.

1508
01:12:44,460 --> 01:12:45,580
Do you know Helga?

1509
01:12:45,580 --> 01:12:48,300
Some of the guys will know
"Helga, your inflatable girlfriend.

1510
01:12:48,300 --> 01:12:49,380
LAUGHTER

1511
01:12:49,380 --> 01:12:51,180
"She never has a headache".

1512
01:12:51,180 --> 01:12:53,420
No, but you do after
you've blown the bloody thing up.

1513
01:12:53,420 --> 01:12:54,540
LAUGHTER

1514
01:12:54,540 --> 01:12:57,700
Suddenly he got on Have I Got News
For You. Here's Bob Monkhouse,

1515
01:12:57,700 --> 01:13:00,380
and people didn't know him,
almost a new generation.

1516
01:13:00,380 --> 01:13:02,140
On Ian Hislop's team

1517
01:13:02,140 --> 01:13:05,380
is a comedian who recently said
that comedy was just like sex.

1518
01:13:05,380 --> 01:13:08,060
So we look forward to him being
incredibly funny for five minutes

1519
01:13:08,060 --> 01:13:10,100
and then falling asleep
for the rest of the show.

1520
01:13:10,100 --> 01:13:12,860
LAUGHTER
Bob Monkhouse. Five!
That's a compliment.

1521
01:13:14,060 --> 01:13:16,740
The Minister For Silly Walks.
Look at him.

1522
01:13:16,740 --> 01:13:18,820
It's interesting that if you
rearrange the letters

1523
01:13:18,820 --> 01:13:20,140
that spell Michael Portillo,

1524
01:13:20,140 --> 01:13:22,580
they come out as "I talk bollocks".

1525
01:13:22,580 --> 01:13:23,700
LAUGHTER

1526
01:13:25,540 --> 01:13:27,700
Obviously, that's
give or take a letter.

1527
01:13:27,700 --> 01:13:29,500
LAUGHTER

1528
01:13:29,500 --> 01:13:31,780
MUSIC: 20th Century Boy by T Rex

1529
01:13:34,460 --> 01:13:37,540
By 1995, the comeback was complete,

1530
01:13:37,540 --> 01:13:41,140
and Bob embarked on the series that
would finally earn him the affection

1531
01:13:41,140 --> 01:13:43,260
that have sometimes
eluded him at his peak.

1532
01:13:45,420 --> 01:13:48,620
On The Spot
was one man and his audience.

1533
01:13:48,620 --> 01:13:50,300
It was back to where it all began.

1534
01:13:50,300 --> 01:13:51,420
APPLAUSE

1535
01:13:51,420 --> 01:13:53,580
It was Bob Monkhouse,
stand-up comedian.

1536
01:13:53,580 --> 01:13:54,580
APPLAUSE

1537
01:13:56,460 --> 01:13:58,420
I once had a Yorkshire terrier.
I love them.

1538
01:13:58,420 --> 01:14:00,820
They're lovely dogs,
and so handy for washing the car.

1539
01:14:00,820 --> 01:14:02,020
LAUGHTER

1540
01:14:02,020 --> 01:14:05,820
They're marvellous cos they're the
same size as the bucket.
Hold your breath. In you go.

1541
01:14:05,820 --> 01:14:08,900
It was called On The Spot and
it genuinely was on the spot.

1542
01:14:08,900 --> 01:14:11,100
It was Bob doing half an hour
each week,

1543
01:14:11,100 --> 01:14:13,260
no sketches, no padding,

1544
01:14:13,260 --> 01:14:15,380
no interviews, just Bob.

1545
01:14:15,380 --> 01:14:17,940
I have a cat. He's old now.

1546
01:14:17,940 --> 01:14:21,140
He's going bald, but he combs
his tail over the bald spot.

1547
01:14:21,140 --> 01:14:22,700
LAUGHTER

1548
01:14:25,020 --> 01:14:27,220
Bob Monkhouse had come full circle.

1549
01:14:28,380 --> 01:14:30,980
It was just like 1947,

1550
01:14:30,980 --> 01:14:33,660
Bob on the BBC in his bow tie,

1551
01:14:33,660 --> 01:14:36,420
telling jokes, and getting laughs.

1552
01:14:36,420 --> 01:14:41,460
His approach to his final few years
was very smart and classy.

1553
01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:45,860
He seemed to try
and reinvent himself as a comic.

1554
01:14:45,860 --> 01:14:48,580
You know, became a kind of...

1555
01:14:48,580 --> 01:14:51,140
"I'm the grandaddy of them all,
and I know what I'm doing".

1556
01:14:51,140 --> 01:14:52,540
I'm a comedian, by the way.

1557
01:14:52,540 --> 01:14:53,860
LAUGHTER

1558
01:14:53,860 --> 01:14:55,860
I like to get that established
fairly early on.

1559
01:14:55,860 --> 01:14:57,820
I tell you something, it isn't easy.

1560
01:14:57,820 --> 01:15:00,180
If I'm somewhere
where they don't know me at all,

1561
01:15:00,180 --> 01:15:02,780
and they say at a dinner party,
"What do you do?"

1562
01:15:02,780 --> 01:15:04,220
and I say, "I'm a comedian,"

1563
01:15:04,220 --> 01:15:08,380
they always say the same thing.
"You're a comedian? Tell me a joke."

1564
01:15:08,380 --> 01:15:10,580
They don't do this
to any other profession.

1565
01:15:10,580 --> 01:15:13,380
They don't say,
"You're a chef? Bake me a pie."

1566
01:15:13,380 --> 01:15:14,620
LAUGHTER

1567
01:15:14,620 --> 01:15:17,620
They don't say, "You're
a politician? Ooh! Tell me a lie."

1568
01:15:17,620 --> 01:15:19,060
LAUGHTER

1569
01:15:19,060 --> 01:15:22,300
They don't say,
"You're a gynaecologist, take a look
at the wife." They don't.

1570
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:23,420
LAUGHTER

1571
01:15:23,420 --> 01:15:25,380
You know, he still looked great.

1572
01:15:25,380 --> 01:15:27,980
He didn't look like a
senior citizen or anything.

1573
01:15:27,980 --> 01:15:31,580
He'd been around so long,
he thought, "I'm being accepted now

1574
01:15:31,580 --> 01:15:35,140
"as an elder statesman who's done
a lot and been here a long time."

1575
01:15:35,140 --> 01:15:38,100
I think that probably
relaxed him a bit.

1576
01:15:38,100 --> 01:15:42,420
You know, he wasn't straining
and pushing at it any more.

1577
01:15:42,420 --> 01:15:44,740
He thought, "No,
I think they accept me now."

1578
01:15:46,380 --> 01:15:49,900
Bob Monkhouse now began to relax
about his place in the world.

1579
01:15:51,380 --> 01:15:53,980
He published
a confessional autobiography,

1580
01:15:53,980 --> 01:15:55,620
Crying With Laughter.

1581
01:15:55,620 --> 01:15:57,260
And, for the first time in his life,

1582
01:15:57,260 --> 01:16:00,460
talked publicly
about his deepest feelings.

1583
01:16:00,460 --> 01:16:02,180
It was now time to look back,

1584
01:16:02,180 --> 01:16:06,580
and make sense of the 50-year career
his driving ambition had given him.

1585
01:16:06,580 --> 01:16:10,300
A career which he had
so meticulously documented.

1586
01:16:10,300 --> 01:16:11,620
I used...

1587
01:16:13,300 --> 01:16:18,260
..work in order to distance
the problems...

1588
01:16:19,980 --> 01:16:22,220
..at home, and emotional problems.

1589
01:16:23,540 --> 01:16:24,540
I kept them...

1590
01:16:25,860 --> 01:16:27,860
..to one side
while I got on with my work.

1591
01:16:28,980 --> 01:16:30,540
He was relaxed, in a strange way.

1592
01:16:30,540 --> 01:16:34,780
He thought, "I will stop wearing
this...mask,

1593
01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:36,860
and just...come out.

1594
01:16:36,860 --> 01:16:38,900
"And I will just talk about things."

1595
01:16:38,900 --> 01:16:41,620
Which he'd never done
in public before.

1596
01:16:41,620 --> 01:16:43,980
And it was quite touching.

1597
01:16:43,980 --> 01:16:46,140
I thought,
"Bob's letting it all out now."

1598
01:16:50,220 --> 01:16:53,100
It was at this time, in 1992,

1599
01:16:53,100 --> 01:16:57,220
that Bob's eldest son Gary,
suffering with cerebral palsy,

1600
01:16:57,220 --> 01:16:59,420
died at just 40 years old.

1601
01:17:03,900 --> 01:17:07,780
I think most parents
of a grossly handicapped child...

1602
01:17:09,380 --> 01:17:12,220
..will see it not as their tragedy,
but as their child's tragedy.

1603
01:17:13,580 --> 01:17:15,020
And then,

1604
01:17:15,020 --> 01:17:17,460
as in the case of my son,

1605
01:17:17,460 --> 01:17:20,340
you begin to learn from the child.

1606
01:17:20,340 --> 01:17:22,500
And he...

1607
01:17:22,500 --> 01:17:23,780
was such a...

1608
01:17:25,300 --> 01:17:26,940
..a straight arrow.

1609
01:17:26,940 --> 01:17:30,980
He was a source of
great inspiration to me. And...

1610
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,820
And I think of him every day.

1611
01:17:32,820 --> 01:17:34,740
And if I...

1612
01:17:36,220 --> 01:17:37,540
..grieve, as I do,

1613
01:17:37,540 --> 01:17:39,740
I grieve not for his death,
but for his life,

1614
01:17:39,740 --> 01:17:42,460
which was a
very difficult fight for him.

1615
01:17:44,180 --> 01:17:46,740
Sadly, there
was more tragedy to come.

1616
01:17:46,740 --> 01:17:51,020
A family argument with his
youngest son, Simon, had escalated,

1617
01:17:51,020 --> 01:17:53,660
and the two
hardly spoke for over ten years.

1618
01:17:55,660 --> 01:18:00,060
As a child, Simon had been the star
of his father's home movies.

1619
01:18:03,180 --> 01:18:06,820
But as an adult, he had drifted away
from his famous father.

1620
01:18:09,700 --> 01:18:12,060
With their differences
still unresolved,

1621
01:18:12,060 --> 01:18:15,380
the shock news
reached Britain in May 2001

1622
01:18:15,380 --> 01:18:18,420
that Simon Monkhouse had died of a
heroin overdose

1623
01:18:18,420 --> 01:18:20,740
in a Bangkok hotel.

1624
01:18:20,740 --> 01:18:22,460
Three days later he called to say,

1625
01:18:22,460 --> 01:18:24,820
"Do you know, I'm walking
around the house like a ghost?

1626
01:18:24,820 --> 01:18:26,540
"I can't concentrate on anything."

1627
01:18:27,900 --> 01:18:31,100
And I think the effect
of Simon's passing...

1628
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:35,660
..lasted the rest of Bob's life.
I don't think he ever got over it.

1629
01:18:38,580 --> 01:18:40,020
A few months later,

1630
01:18:40,020 --> 01:18:42,460
Bob's own life
looked to be coming to an end,

1631
01:18:42,460 --> 01:18:44,740
when he was diagnosed
with prostate cancer.

1632
01:18:46,060 --> 01:18:49,500
He called me, and he said,
"Oh, I've got a bit of bad news."

1633
01:18:49,500 --> 01:18:51,340
So I said, "Oh, what's up?"

1634
01:18:51,340 --> 01:18:54,020
He said, "They've given me
two years."

1635
01:18:55,100 --> 01:18:56,620
"You're joking?"

1636
01:18:56,620 --> 01:18:59,060
When he was diagnosed with
the cancer,

1637
01:18:59,060 --> 01:19:01,780
his way of dealing with it
was to make jokes about it.

1638
01:19:01,780 --> 01:19:05,140
He was on Michael Parkinson's show,
the year he died,

1639
01:19:05,140 --> 01:19:07,820
being very funny about the diagnosis
of prostate cancer,

1640
01:19:07,820 --> 01:19:09,220
even as the other guests,

1641
01:19:09,220 --> 01:19:11,380
Peter Kay's one of them,
even as the other guests,

1642
01:19:11,380 --> 01:19:12,780
you can hear them kind of going,

1643
01:19:12,780 --> 01:19:14,300
"Oh. Oh, dear. Oh."

1644
01:19:14,300 --> 01:19:15,500
So here's the joke.

1645
01:19:15,500 --> 01:19:16,540
LAUGHTER

1646
01:19:17,740 --> 01:19:20,380
I said, "How long
have I got to live?" He said, "Ten."

1647
01:19:20,380 --> 01:19:21,860
I said, "What, months? Weeks?"

1648
01:19:21,860 --> 01:19:24,020
He said, "Nine..."

1649
01:19:24,020 --> 01:19:25,700
LAUGHTER

1650
01:19:27,500 --> 01:19:30,420
Not bad, is it? Anyway, he said,

1651
01:19:30,420 --> 01:19:34,660
"Er... Well, OK, it's treatable.
It's incurable, but it's treatable."

1652
01:19:34,660 --> 01:19:36,300
I'm not scared of dying anyway.

1653
01:19:36,300 --> 01:19:38,660
Are you not? I'm not.
Death is a terrible thing.

1654
01:19:38,660 --> 01:19:40,900
The trouble is, the next day,
you're so bloody stiff.

1655
01:19:40,900 --> 01:19:42,460
LAUGHTER

1656
01:19:44,820 --> 01:19:46,780
Knowing that time was running out,

1657
01:19:46,780 --> 01:19:50,820
Bob went back to his roots for
one last night of stand-up comedy.

1658
01:19:51,860 --> 01:19:54,980
Most of the audience were young
comedy writers and performers,

1659
01:19:54,980 --> 01:19:57,740
eager to see
the master joke teller in action.

1660
01:19:58,980 --> 01:20:00,700
It was never broadcast,

1661
01:20:00,700 --> 01:20:01,900
until now.

1662
01:20:01,900 --> 01:20:04,060
The one and only Bob Monkhouse.

1663
01:20:04,060 --> 01:20:09,140
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1664
01:20:13,460 --> 01:20:17,140
And someone at the BBC said,
"Let's organise a gig, Bob.

1665
01:20:17,140 --> 01:20:19,900
"We'll get a load of comics in,
and you can go on stage."

1666
01:20:19,900 --> 01:20:22,180
Now, most comedians would run a mile
from that.

1667
01:20:22,180 --> 01:20:26,620
I'd rather get killed now,
at my age, than do that gig.

1668
01:20:26,620 --> 01:20:29,820
But Bob took that on board
and said, "Yes."

1669
01:20:29,820 --> 01:20:32,060
I remember being in the audience,
with other comics.

1670
01:20:32,060 --> 01:20:34,260
David Walliams was there,
Kevin Day were there.

1671
01:20:34,260 --> 01:20:36,900
I remember, we were all thinking,
"Who would do this gig?"

1672
01:20:38,340 --> 01:20:40,580
I think sleeping in the nude
is a perfectly natural...

1673
01:20:41,900 --> 01:20:44,460
Well, maybe you shouldn't do it
on those LONG flights.

1674
01:20:44,460 --> 01:20:45,540
LAUGHTER

1675
01:20:46,740 --> 01:20:48,740
The sense of camaraderie
in the room that night

1676
01:20:48,740 --> 01:20:51,500
that Bob fostered was remarkable.

1677
01:20:51,500 --> 01:20:54,820
It was really a wonderful thing
to be part of.

1678
01:20:54,820 --> 01:20:57,740
And also very, very funny.

1679
01:20:57,740 --> 01:21:01,100
There used to be a sort of a bar on
the way through to a dance hall,

1680
01:21:01,100 --> 01:21:02,700
where I lived in Beckenham, Kent.

1681
01:21:02,700 --> 01:21:04,260
You probably know I come from Kent.

1682
01:21:04,260 --> 01:21:06,820
I hear people mention the word,
they mutter it as they see me.

1683
01:21:06,820 --> 01:21:09,100
LAUGHTER

1684
01:21:09,100 --> 01:21:12,500
I had an affair with a lady optician
once, who drove me mad in bed.

1685
01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:15,260
She kept saying, "Is it better
like this, or better like that?"

1686
01:21:15,260 --> 01:21:16,340
LAUGHTER

1687
01:21:17,700 --> 01:21:20,860
I think it was important for Bob
to be able to show people like us

1688
01:21:20,860 --> 01:21:22,860
how good he really was
as a stand-up,

1689
01:21:22,860 --> 01:21:24,620
because he was a fantastic stand-up.

1690
01:21:24,620 --> 01:21:29,660
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

1691
01:21:30,020 --> 01:21:31,580
Thank you.

1692
01:21:31,580 --> 01:21:34,220
Oh! Ohh! Oh!
Can't get better than that!

1693
01:21:34,220 --> 01:21:37,660
He said goodbye to an audience
for the very last time,

1694
01:21:37,660 --> 01:21:39,540
and took his final bow.

1695
01:21:39,540 --> 01:21:42,460
It was the end of
an extraordinary career,

1696
01:21:42,460 --> 01:21:45,980
which spanned the golden era
of British entertainment.

1697
01:21:51,420 --> 01:21:55,580
The last few days of Bob's life
were spent quietly at home.

1698
01:21:55,580 --> 01:21:56,740
From here,

1699
01:21:56,740 --> 01:21:59,820
Bob Monkhouse said his farewells
to his closest friends.

1700
01:22:00,940 --> 01:22:02,860
Amongst them, Joe Pasquale.

1701
01:22:02,860 --> 01:22:05,820
Jackie phoned me up,
and said, "Bob came to last night.

1702
01:22:05,820 --> 01:22:07,740
"And he said..."

1703
01:22:10,380 --> 01:22:11,580
"He sai...

1704
01:22:13,180 --> 01:22:15,260
"He came to, and he said,

1705
01:22:15,260 --> 01:22:18,180
"'I know why
I can't move any more.'"

1706
01:22:18,180 --> 01:22:21,340
And basically, he had
all these cancers all over him.

1707
01:22:21,340 --> 01:22:23,780
And one of them was on his neck,
on his spinal cord,

1708
01:22:23,780 --> 01:22:26,540
which stopped him
having any type of movement at all.

1709
01:22:26,540 --> 01:22:29,260
And he hadn't really
been lucid at all for ages.

1710
01:22:29,260 --> 01:22:31,740
All of a sudden he came to in the
middle of the night.

1711
01:22:31,740 --> 01:22:34,620
And he said, "I know why
I can't move." So she said, "Why?"

1712
01:22:34,620 --> 01:22:38,620
And he said, "Because...
I've been visited by aliens,

1713
01:22:38,620 --> 01:22:43,260
"and they've given me some sort
of anaesthetic, and I can't move."

1714
01:22:43,260 --> 01:22:46,580
He said to her, "But don't worry,
Joe Pasquale's coming,

1715
01:22:46,580 --> 01:22:49,260
"and when Joe gets here,
he's got the antidote.

1716
01:22:49,260 --> 01:22:51,860
"So make sure you send him in
as soon as he gets here."

1717
01:22:51,860 --> 01:22:54,340
So Jackie phoned me,
and she said that to me.

1718
01:22:54,340 --> 01:22:56,700
And I went in,
and he was gone completely.

1719
01:22:56,700 --> 01:23:00,140
You know, he was just laying there,
and his eyes were shut.

1720
01:23:00,140 --> 01:23:03,780
All I had with me was a Woolworth
receipt for some pick'n'mix,

1721
01:23:03,780 --> 01:23:05,420
that I'd bought.

1722
01:23:05,420 --> 01:23:07,660
And I said, "Bob, I can't stay,
I've got two shows."

1723
01:23:07,660 --> 01:23:10,380
He wasn't listening, I don't know
what was going on in his head,

1724
01:23:10,380 --> 01:23:12,340
if anything was going on at all.

1725
01:23:12,340 --> 01:23:15,380
And I said, "Jackie said that
you've been waiting for me.

1726
01:23:15,380 --> 01:23:16,620
"I've got the antidote."

1727
01:23:16,620 --> 01:23:19,060
And all it was was a
Woolworth's receipt for pick'n'mix.

1728
01:23:19,060 --> 01:23:21,900
And I put it in his hand,
and I said, "You can go now, Bob.

1729
01:23:21,900 --> 01:23:24,780
"So, just leave it."
And then I left.

1730
01:23:24,780 --> 01:23:26,380
And the next day he died.

1731
01:23:30,820 --> 01:23:34,060
When I said I wanted to become a
comedian, everybody laughed at me.

1732
01:23:34,060 --> 01:23:36,460
Well, they're not laughing now,
are they?

1733
01:23:36,460 --> 01:23:37,540
LAUGHTER

1734
01:23:39,500 --> 01:23:42,020
Most of the people for whom I worked
as a young man, as a writer,

1735
01:23:42,020 --> 01:23:43,380
are forgotten now.

1736
01:23:43,380 --> 01:23:46,060
Forgotten comedians,
they're forgotten fame.

1737
01:23:46,060 --> 01:23:47,740
Fame is an addiction,

1738
01:23:47,740 --> 01:23:49,300
stronger than most.

1739
01:23:50,700 --> 01:23:52,780
And it's very passing...

1740
01:23:52,780 --> 01:23:54,900
once its usefulness is ended.

1741
01:23:56,020 --> 01:23:58,820
No, I think I'd just
as soon be...forgotten.

1742
01:24:04,580 --> 01:24:07,260
The life and career
of Bob Monkhouse,

1743
01:24:07,260 --> 01:24:11,020
and the significance of
the collection of recordings
he left behind,

1744
01:24:11,020 --> 01:24:15,500
was celebrated
at London's Bafta in October 2009.

1745
01:24:15,500 --> 01:24:19,540
The event was organised by the film
and TV company, Kaleidoscope,

1746
01:24:19,540 --> 01:24:22,260
who have been entrusted with
preserving the entire collection.

1747
01:24:23,420 --> 01:24:25,860
Friends, colleagues and fans

1748
01:24:25,860 --> 01:24:29,060
gathered to spend a day
being entertained by Bob Monkhouse.

1749
01:24:30,420 --> 01:24:32,260
After a 30-year wait,

1750
01:24:32,260 --> 01:24:35,420
Lenny Henry was able to see
his first-ever TV appearance,

1751
01:24:35,420 --> 01:24:37,660
as a 16-year-old on New Faces.

1752
01:24:40,100 --> 01:24:43,620
It was another day of laughter
courtesy of Bob Monkhouse.

1753
01:24:45,060 --> 01:24:49,300
It was also the day of reunion
for the names Monkhouse and Goodwin.

1754
01:24:49,300 --> 01:24:51,500
For Denis Goodwin's daughter, Suki,

1755
01:24:51,500 --> 01:24:53,420
and Bob's daughter Abigail.

1756
01:24:53,420 --> 01:24:54,940
Look at these letters here.

1757
01:24:54,940 --> 01:24:57,180
You expect me to guess
their destination? That one...

1758
01:24:57,180 --> 01:24:58,380
LAUGHTER

1759
01:24:59,460 --> 01:25:03,060
It's very touching to see
that he's appreciated.

1760
01:25:03,060 --> 01:25:05,740
He was a writer, and funny,

1761
01:25:05,740 --> 01:25:08,420
and that's all he wanted to do,
was make people laugh.

1762
01:25:08,420 --> 01:25:10,220
And today I sort of felt that.

1763
01:25:10,220 --> 01:25:13,620
And I felt the chemistry
between our two dads. Definitely.

1764
01:25:13,620 --> 01:25:16,780
And I'd heard about it,
for all those years,

1765
01:25:16,780 --> 01:25:19,900
but to actually see and
feel it was really good.

1766
01:25:19,900 --> 01:25:22,300
I bet they had loads of fun.
Don't you think?

1767
01:25:22,300 --> 01:25:23,820
Yes, they looked like they had fun.

1768
01:25:23,820 --> 01:25:27,260
They looked like they giggled
their whole way through their lives

1769
01:25:27,260 --> 01:25:29,820
at that point. Definitely. Yeah.

1770
01:25:42,460 --> 01:25:46,220
Bob and I used to share
books quite a lot, and...

1771
01:25:47,660 --> 01:25:50,860
we were apt to...

1772
01:25:50,860 --> 01:25:55,220
sort of philosophise about...

1773
01:25:55,220 --> 01:26:00,180
the last couple of lines from Fred
Allen's autobiography,

1774
01:26:00,860 --> 01:26:03,380
which went,
if I remember...

1775
01:26:05,180 --> 01:26:10,260
"What has a comedian to show
for...all the years

1776
01:26:12,740 --> 01:26:17,740
"of hard work
and aggravation, except...

1777
01:26:18,420 --> 01:26:21,780
"the echo of forgotten laughter?"