1
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:01,188
Hello. Salaam Alekum.

2
00:01:01,358 --> 00:01:03,553
- Do you speak English?
- Yes.

3
00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:06,357
- I have to get to the station.
- OK.

4
00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:21,790
(DRIVER) You look around at Alexandria.

5
00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:26,827
You are looking at the Corniche.
You are looking at the biggest mosque.

6
00:01:26,998 --> 00:01:32,755
- You are looking at the fish museum.
- I am really looking to get to the station.

7
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:37,594
- How long will that take?
- After we go to station. Two hour, one hour.

8
00:01:37,758 --> 00:01:40,511
I have to be at the station in half an hour.

9
00:01:40,678 --> 00:01:43,829
Good drive in Alexandria.
You want to look around.

10
00:01:43,998 --> 00:01:47,308
Antique towers in Egyptian.

11
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:53,269
After looking at the big mosque.
The biggest mosque in Alexandria.

12
00:01:53,438 --> 00:01:59,388
Maybe you just take me to the station.
Next time I come i'll see the museums.

13
00:01:59,558 --> 00:02:03,756
Getting to the station in Alexandria
Isn't easy.

14
00:02:03,918 --> 00:02:08,434
Alexandrian horses know no fear.
They attack the traffic head on.

15
00:02:08,598 --> 00:02:10,509
I feel like Ben Hur on the M1!

16
00:02:10,678 --> 00:02:12,555
How fast can your horse go?

17
00:02:12,718 --> 00:02:17,030
Two hour. You look around Alexandria,
After to the train station.

18
00:02:17,198 --> 00:02:21,510
No, i'll wear your horse out.
What is your horse called?

19
00:02:21,678 --> 00:02:25,193
Larry. Larry, an Egyptian horse.

20
00:02:25,358 --> 00:02:29,510
Egyptian horse, is my name, Larry, English.

21
00:02:29,678 --> 00:02:31,953
So you are all Larry?

22
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:35,030
Larry and Larry. How long have you had him?

23
00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:37,189
- Four.
- He's four?

24
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:41,237
How long has he been out on the streets,
The grand prix circuit?

25
00:02:41,398 --> 00:02:44,390
Four. My name Larry.
Good driver in Alexandria.

26
00:02:44,558 --> 00:02:49,586
I'm convinced by now that most animate
Objects in Alexandria are called Larry

27
00:02:49,758 --> 00:02:51,794
And the conversation is in a rut.

28
00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:54,711
But amazing revelations are at hand.

29
00:02:54,878 --> 00:02:59,030
- How many people can you take in here?
- Six million.

30
00:02:59,198 --> 00:03:02,907
- How many people?
- Six million in here?

31
00:03:03,078 --> 00:03:06,195
- How many can you get on here?
- Six person.

32
00:03:06,358 --> 00:03:08,474
- Six persons.
- Six person.

33
00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:11,835
- It's hard work.
- Six person, one carriage.

34
00:03:12,478 --> 00:03:16,710
This is the way to see Alexandria.
I'll tell anybody that asks me.

35
00:03:16,878 --> 00:03:20,757
I'll see, "See Ahmed
For the best tour of Alexandria."

36
00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:23,227
- Thank you.
- Good. I'm Michael.

37
00:03:23,398 --> 00:03:25,787
- Michael Caine.
- Yeah, thank you.

38
00:03:26,558 --> 00:03:31,473
With a whip-assisted lurch, long-suffering
Larry turns off the Corniche,

39
00:03:31,638 --> 00:03:36,951
Once an elegant promenade,
Now crumbling gently, like Cannes with acne.

40
00:03:38,038 --> 00:03:42,509
We pass the Cecil Hotel, whose guests
Have included Laurence Durrell,

41
00:03:42,678 --> 00:03:46,990
Winston Churchill and, in World War II,
The British Secret Service.

42
00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:55,198
The city of Alexandria has a continuing
Fascination for literary Englishmen.

43
00:03:55,358 --> 00:03:58,509
EM Forster worked here,
Wrote a guide to the city

44
00:03:58,678 --> 00:04:02,068
And, in 1918, fell in love
With a tram driver.

45
00:04:05,238 --> 00:04:09,754
Though I only have one morning
To take it all in, I like Alexandria.

46
00:04:09,918 --> 00:04:14,753
Not just because they've kept their trams,
But the way the people are.

47
00:04:15,198 --> 00:04:20,636
Faces show energy, curiosity,
Pride and abundant good humour.

48
00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:25,394
The faces are a unique mixture of Africa,
Europe and the Middle East.

49
00:04:32,678 --> 00:04:36,671
Under this benign cloud,
I finally reach the handsome station,

50
00:04:36,838 --> 00:04:41,036
Resolved to shed English inhibitions
And become a part of Africa.

51
00:04:57,358 --> 00:04:58,791
Cairo?

52
00:05:20,118 --> 00:05:21,949
Cairo?

53
00:05:29,758 --> 00:05:31,589
Cairo?

54
00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:34,226
Cairo? OK, here we go.

55
00:05:42,198 --> 00:05:43,995
Cairo.

56
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,112
- How many, sir?
- One.

57
00:05:48,278 --> 00:05:50,428
One way to Cairo.

58
00:05:51,278 --> 00:05:54,953
- One?
- Yes, one, just me, one way.

59
00:05:55,118 --> 00:05:57,074
- Cairo?
- Yes.

60
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:02,553
No one seems to have heard of Cairo.

61
00:06:02,718 --> 00:06:08,111
It's only the capital! If they don't know
Cairo, what do you ask for? New York?

62
00:06:08,278 --> 00:06:11,668
I've got to go there?
I've just come from there!

63
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:15,274
I shall walk to Cairo at this rate!

64
00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:20,466
As if things weren't bad enough, someone
Decides they don't like Passepartout.

65
00:06:20,638 --> 00:06:25,029
Understandable really. I've told him before
About staring at people.

66
00:06:25,198 --> 00:06:28,474
Hello! I saw you before. You are trouble!

67
00:06:30,238 --> 00:06:31,557
Cairo?

68
00:06:35,318 --> 00:06:37,195
(MUEZZIN CALLS)

69
00:06:37,358 --> 00:06:41,431
Railway stations don't intimidate travellers
As airports do,

70
00:06:41,598 --> 00:06:44,476
So they are wonderful places to watch life.

71
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,914
Here, technology co-exists
With biblical scenes,

72
00:06:48,078 --> 00:06:50,467
Levis, trainers, fezzes and jellabas,

73
00:06:50,638 --> 00:06:53,516
Calls to prayer with station announcements.

74
00:06:53,678 --> 00:06:56,909
It's all so different to the Europe
I have just left.

75
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:59,467
There, life is problems to be solved,

76
00:06:59,638 --> 00:07:02,789
Here, it's a series of limitations
To be observed.

77
00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:06,348
"Inshallah," they all say.
"If Allah is willing."

78
00:07:24,598 --> 00:07:29,718
My brief encounter with Alexandria
Ends just six hours after it began.

79
00:07:29,878 --> 00:07:34,315
However much I want to linger,
I'm travelling against the clock

80
00:07:34,478 --> 00:07:39,188
And the object is to get in and out of Egypt
As quickly as possible,

81
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:44,951
Phileas Fogg went through it
Without stopping by the Suez Canal.

82
00:07:45,118 --> 00:07:47,712
No passenger ships do that nowadays,

83
00:07:47,878 --> 00:07:51,632
Although I can get a ship from Suez
Down the Red Sea to Jeddah.

84
00:07:51,798 --> 00:07:57,714
But I can't sort it out until I get to Cairo,
221 kilometres away across the Nile Delta.

85
00:08:38,198 --> 00:08:40,951
Um... Have you any milk?

86
00:08:41,118 --> 00:08:43,234
No milk. Finished.

87
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,116
I see. Right.

88
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,633
I'll have it black, then.

89
00:08:58,318 --> 00:09:02,869
As we roll across this fertile landscape
And the life-giving River Nile,

90
00:09:03,038 --> 00:09:05,427
There appears to be water everywhere.

91
00:09:05,598 --> 00:09:09,910
It's hard to believe
That 96% of this country is barren desert.

92
00:09:10,078 --> 00:09:14,151
I'm just a traveller.
I'm just going round the world.

93
00:09:14,318 --> 00:09:19,073
I'm passing through Cairo.
What should I do? I'm there at the weekend.

94
00:09:19,238 --> 00:09:24,631
At home, you might go to a football match.
Do they have football matches?

95
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:28,268
Yeah, today we have a very interesting
Football match

96
00:09:28,438 --> 00:09:32,716
Between National team,
The best team in Egypt,

97
00:09:32,878 --> 00:09:36,473
And Al Minya, a medium team.

98
00:09:36,638 --> 00:09:40,233
Is this a match in the football league?
You have a league?

99
00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:42,309
Yeah, is football league.

100
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:45,788
You can show it. It is very interesting.

101
00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:48,153
- They play today?
- Yes.

102
00:09:48,958 --> 00:09:52,837
How many people will there be in the crowd?
Is it a big crowd?

103
00:09:52,998 --> 00:09:57,594
Yes, very big.
Maybe 80 or 90 thousand persons.

104
00:10:07,198 --> 00:10:09,268
(CAR HORNS BLARE)

105
00:10:09,438 --> 00:10:13,317
80,000 people
In one football stadium sounds unlikely,

106
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:17,232
As everyone in Cairo seems to be
On the streets in a motor car!

107
00:10:17,398 --> 00:10:20,913
All Egyptian vehicles
Seem to have been modified

108
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:25,629
So that both brake and accelerator
Are directly attached to the horn.

109
00:10:25,798 --> 00:10:29,029
Progress out to the stadium
Is slow and noisy,

110
00:10:29,198 --> 00:10:32,793
By the time I arrive,
The game is well into the second half.

111
00:10:32,958 --> 00:10:34,949
At least it's quieter here (!)

112
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:37,074
(CROWD ROARS)

113
00:10:40,638 --> 00:10:46,235
A hot Saturday afternoon, a modern stadium
And I'm soon in the spirit of things,

114
00:10:46,398 --> 00:10:48,593
Cheering on with the crowd!

115
00:10:48,758 --> 00:10:53,832
Fortunately, a tolerant spectator
Points out that I'm cheering the wrong team.

116
00:10:57,158 --> 00:11:01,197
A foul of blatant proportions
Livens up the game

117
00:11:01,358 --> 00:11:04,430
And our patience is rewarded
With a sending off.

118
00:11:15,078 --> 00:11:18,309
The offender questions
Whether it's Allah's will,

119
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:22,835
But every gesture has a familiarity,
A hint of old England.

120
00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:39,354
Though I arrived at the end of the game,
My presence clearly spurs on Cairo,

121
00:11:39,518 --> 00:11:43,750
Who score two goals in the last ten minutes
To snatch vital points.

122
00:12:00,958 --> 00:12:03,950
Just as well I came at that moment!

123
00:12:04,118 --> 00:12:06,586
I helped the team!

124
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:23,831
Back across the Nile to the city centre
To get a room for the night.

125
00:12:23,998 --> 00:12:30,107
Eschewing the Hiltons, I plump for the classy
Ring of something older, more dignified.

126
00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:43,757
- Hello.
- Hello, sir.

127
00:12:43,918 --> 00:12:45,590
Do you have a room?

128
00:12:45,758 --> 00:12:48,352
- Yes, sir. A single one?
- Yes.

129
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,827
- Yes, we have.
- You do? Marvellous.

130
00:12:52,558 --> 00:12:54,992
Can you please write your name?

131
00:12:57,718 --> 00:13:01,996
I'm not sure of the date of departure.
I'll just put approximately.

132
00:13:03,838 --> 00:13:05,430
There we are.

133
00:13:06,798 --> 00:13:09,710
- Your room number is 16.
- 16, thank you.

134
00:13:09,878 --> 00:13:14,713
This is your key and your room
Is on the second floor, sir.

135
00:13:29,718 --> 00:13:31,834
(CAR HORNS BEEP)

136
00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:40,750
Someone more familiar than myself with the
City said they'd once asked for a quiet room,

137
00:13:40,918 --> 00:13:44,388
Only to receive the incredulous reply,
"In Cairo?"

138
00:14:00,318 --> 00:14:01,751
Not that it matters.

139
00:14:01,918 --> 00:14:04,307
At the end of a long and tiring day,

140
00:14:04,478 --> 00:14:08,027
I'm just happy to have a bed and a hot bath.

141
00:14:14,758 --> 00:14:16,988
(PIPES CLATTER)

142
00:14:26,878 --> 00:14:29,438
Well... A bed, anyway.

143
00:14:42,078 --> 00:14:44,433
(BAVARIAN ACCORDION MUSIC)

144
00:14:45,878 --> 00:14:51,714
The bar of the Hotel Windsor is one of
The most bizarrely cosmopolitan i've seen.

145
00:14:51,878 --> 00:14:56,030
Cocktails mixed by a Nubian
Are served to smooth Egyptians

146
00:14:56,198 --> 00:14:58,632
In an atmosphere of the Swiss Alps.

147
00:15:02,358 --> 00:15:08,354
It was 91 degrees outside, but the wall
Decorations act as a psychic cooling system.

148
00:15:08,518 --> 00:15:11,271
Given this, the clientele are no surprise.

149
00:15:11,438 --> 00:15:13,474
So, you're in the film business?

150
00:15:13,638 --> 00:15:17,426
I am a director of photography
For movie film.

151
00:15:17,598 --> 00:15:21,511
- I am an actor and writer.
- Ah, very nice to meet you!

152
00:15:21,678 --> 00:15:24,192
Do you do television and films?

153
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,553
No, I work only for cinema.

154
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:29,596
Are there many films made in Egypt?

155
00:15:29,758 --> 00:15:36,231
In Egypt we shoot in the year
About... Er... 60-80 films in the year.

156
00:15:36,398 --> 00:15:38,787
The whole production.

157
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:44,112
80 films a year is enough to fill someone
In the British film industry with envy.

158
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:46,633
But if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

159
00:15:46,798 --> 00:15:49,107
OK, it is a deal.

160
00:15:49,278 --> 00:15:50,916
Thank you.

161
00:15:51,078 --> 00:15:52,875
I'll cancel the pyramids.

162
00:15:53,038 --> 00:15:54,835
(MUEZZIN CALLS)

163
00:16:14,798 --> 00:16:20,077
Hello? Hello, is that
The... Egyptian Navigation Company?

164
00:16:21,358 --> 00:16:26,227
Yes. The thing is,
I am travelling to Jeddah...

165
00:16:26,398 --> 00:16:30,357
The next day, and it's time
To call round the shipping offices.

166
00:16:30,518 --> 00:16:34,636
My onward connection from Jeddah
Is leaving on Wednesday, Day 11.

167
00:16:34,798 --> 00:16:38,473
I must find a connection from Suez
As soon as possible.

168
00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:40,435
It's leaving early?

169
00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:42,873
It sounds as if I'm in luck.

170
00:16:43,038 --> 00:16:44,869
Yes?

171
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:48,474
The... Algeria...

172
00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:51,591
Yes?

173
00:16:52,598 --> 00:16:55,431
That sounds fine. Can I make a reservation?

174
00:16:57,038 --> 00:17:00,872
The Algeria leaves Suez
Tomorrow morning, Day Nine,

175
00:17:01,038 --> 00:17:03,677
So I have a day to kill in Cairo.

176
00:17:03,838 --> 00:17:07,831
I feel itchy standing still,
But travel shouldn't be too fast

177
00:17:07,998 --> 00:17:10,432
To notice what is going on around you.

178
00:17:35,998 --> 00:17:37,954
(COUGHING)

179
00:17:40,198 --> 00:17:43,031
Hello. Can I have a tea, like that, please?

180
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,555
Thank you.

181
00:18:08,118 --> 00:18:10,712
- Um... I didn't order this.
- Oui.

182
00:18:10,878 --> 00:18:13,870
No. Does this come with the tea?

183
00:18:15,598 --> 00:18:19,477
I don't do this.
I gave up smoking 20 years ago.

184
00:18:19,638 --> 00:18:21,993
I really ought to try one.

185
00:18:22,158 --> 00:18:24,513
Er... What do I do?

186
00:18:31,438 --> 00:18:33,508
Mm, it's very pleasant.

187
00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:35,828
This is very nice.

188
00:18:39,158 --> 00:18:42,116
- Do you take it into your lungs?
- No.

189
00:18:42,278 --> 00:18:44,269
No, just into your...

190
00:18:51,038 --> 00:18:56,192
Oh, I see, yeah. When you see
The bubbles going... You're on your way.

191
00:18:57,718 --> 00:18:59,310
Yeah.

192
00:18:59,478 --> 00:19:04,233
It's very mild, isn't it?
I always thought it would be fierce.

193
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:10,312
I thought you were all getting
Out of your minds on these!

194
00:19:10,478 --> 00:19:11,957
It's actually like...

195
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:18,387
Very early Craven A mixed
With... (COUGHS)... Sheffield steel works!

196
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,788
A packet of 200, please.

197
00:19:25,478 --> 00:19:29,869
Cinemas and their gaudy hand-painted signs
Are everywhere in Cairo

198
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:33,314
And remind me
I have an appointment to keep.

199
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:40,711
All I have to do is follow the instructions
On the bit of paper given to me in the bar.

200
00:19:40,878 --> 00:19:45,554
Mind you, the address of the film location
Looks distinctly unpromising.

201
00:19:48,238 --> 00:19:53,676
But it appears that Egyptian supermarkets
Have everything, even film making!

202
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:06,235
(SPEAKS IN ARABIC)

203
00:20:06,398 --> 00:20:10,710
- You know this is make up.
- I know. I'm afraid this isn't.

204
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:14,666
I'm not wearing make up today. It suits you.

205
00:20:16,838 --> 00:20:19,989
I know you are a much younger man
Under there!

206
00:20:25,998 --> 00:20:29,991
No, the pyramids are this afternoon.
Ah, the director calls.

207
00:20:30,158 --> 00:20:32,433
- You will go out of the lift.
- Where?

208
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:35,635
- No, this lift.
- Oh, over here. OK.

209
00:20:35,798 --> 00:20:41,509
- And you will... Just pass.
- OK. Tell me where you want me to stand.

210
00:20:43,638 --> 00:20:48,837
You stand inside the lift.
When it opens, you go out.

211
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:53,788
I am given the much sought after part
Of "Man in Elevator".

212
00:20:53,958 --> 00:20:56,677
I try to think of how Olivier might play it.

213
00:20:56,838 --> 00:21:02,708
After all, I am acting with Egypt's biggest
Star and now my friend, Noor-el-Sherif.

214
00:21:03,278 --> 00:21:07,351
Every year I make... Er... Four or five films.

215
00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:09,634
- Four or five in a year?!
- Yes.

216
00:21:10,198 --> 00:21:17,036
I started in 1967
And i've made even now 128 films.

217
00:21:17,198 --> 00:21:22,477
What sort of films are made generally?
What are the subjects of most Egyptian films?

218
00:21:22,638 --> 00:21:25,516
Society problems, social problems,

219
00:21:25,678 --> 00:21:31,469
About marriage and love, but the majority
Of films are comedian films.

220
00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:34,436
The audience in Egypt prefers that.

221
00:21:34,598 --> 00:21:36,953
Action films and comic films.

222
00:21:39,238 --> 00:21:40,637
Action!

223
00:21:42,198 --> 00:21:45,907
Well, there was the action,
But I can't see much comedy.

224
00:22:24,198 --> 00:22:26,314
- Cut!
- Perfect.

225
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:30,996
And that's it, loves.
Now just the awards to wait for.

226
00:22:36,198 --> 00:22:38,553
Once again for me, I think.

227
00:22:53,878 --> 00:22:56,267
If it's 2.30, it must be the pyramids,

228
00:22:56,438 --> 00:22:59,748
Which I'm surprised to find
Are in Cairo's suburbs.

229
00:22:59,918 --> 00:23:01,909
To the east of them, apartment blocks;

230
00:23:02,078 --> 00:23:06,071
To the west, 2,000 miles
Of desert stretching to Morocco.

231
00:23:10,318 --> 00:23:15,312
Given all this room, why does everyone
Choose the same spot to look at them?

232
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:50,394
While the pyramids
Stand serenely implacable,

233
00:23:50,558 --> 00:23:55,234
The tourists scurry around,
Assailed by camel mongers, postcard salesman

234
00:23:55,398 --> 00:24:00,756
And all the other free-market forces
That have ripped off visitors at this very spot

235
00:24:00,918 --> 00:24:03,990
For hundreds, if not thousands of years.

236
00:24:04,158 --> 00:24:06,956
I'm not going to fall for all this nonsense.

237
00:24:07,958 --> 00:24:10,267
But then I get an offer I can't refuse.

238
00:24:10,438 --> 00:24:12,793
Camel, here.

239
00:24:12,958 --> 00:24:16,473
Sir, camel, if you'd like. Picture, ride.

240
00:24:17,478 --> 00:24:20,470
- Where are you going to?
- Here, come this side.

241
00:24:20,638 --> 00:24:23,277
- You'll take me to Suez?
- Yeah!

242
00:24:24,798 --> 00:24:27,392
Take a good picture on the camel.

243
00:24:28,878 --> 00:24:30,834
This is essential?

244
00:24:30,998 --> 00:24:33,751
Yes, you'll feel like Lawrence of Arabia!

245
00:24:33,918 --> 00:24:38,230
- Legs here, like a horse.
- Lawrence of Arabia, what happened to him?

246
00:24:38,398 --> 00:24:41,037
Your feet here. Take it easy.

247
00:24:42,758 --> 00:24:46,068
Now, hold tight and lean back
As the camel is stand up.

248
00:24:46,238 --> 00:24:47,956
All right.

249
00:24:50,278 --> 00:24:52,428
I see what you mean!

250
00:24:52,598 --> 00:24:55,032
OK, I will give you a little ride.

251
00:24:55,198 --> 00:24:57,837
- OK.
- Here, not long, OK?

252
00:24:57,998 --> 00:25:01,149
(THEME FROM "LAWRENCE OF ARABIA")

253
00:25:09,518 --> 00:25:12,271
So we set off, gingerly, eastwards.

254
00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:14,950
My guide asked me my name.

255
00:25:15,118 --> 00:25:18,428
When I say Michael,
He remarks on the coincidence -

256
00:25:18,598 --> 00:25:22,432
His name's Michael and his camel's name
Is Michael, as well.

257
00:25:22,598 --> 00:25:26,352
So, the three wise Michaels head off
Across the desert.

258
00:25:26,518 --> 00:25:29,032
Another transport first for my list.

259
00:25:50,238 --> 00:25:51,671
(EGYPTIAN POP MUSIC)

260
00:26:10,518 --> 00:26:16,707
There is no railway connection
Between Cairo and Suez, so I take a taxi.

261
00:26:16,878 --> 00:26:21,588
I realised after the first 100 yards
That I should have gone by camel.

262
00:26:21,758 --> 00:26:25,592
It is 90 degrees outside and 120 in the taxi!

263
00:27:09,038 --> 00:27:12,667
First thing next morning,
I was at the gates of Suez port,

264
00:27:12,838 --> 00:27:16,194
Awaiting, like many others,
News of my departure.

265
00:27:23,518 --> 00:27:29,593
Now we've got real problems. The Algeria
Has engine problems and is cancelled.

266
00:27:31,678 --> 00:27:37,514
The next boat that I can get
Is the Saudi Queen and that's tomorrow.

267
00:27:37,678 --> 00:27:41,990
That won't get me into Jeddah
In time for the connection, so I mean...

268
00:27:42,158 --> 00:27:46,276
We are... Well, well and truly scuppered!

269
00:27:46,438 --> 00:27:50,317
If I don't get to Jeddah
In time for the connection,

270
00:27:50,478 --> 00:27:53,595
The next one could be a week,
Three or four days.

271
00:27:53,758 --> 00:27:55,874
It's a real... GRRRR!

272
00:27:57,318 --> 00:28:00,628
Anyway, i've got a day in Suez
To look forward to.

273
00:28:02,198 --> 00:28:03,995
And so have you.

274
00:28:18,638 --> 00:28:22,028
Phileas Fogg took only six and half days
To reach Suez,

275
00:28:22,198 --> 00:28:24,666
Three clear days ahead of me.

276
00:28:24,838 --> 00:28:27,955
As to seeing the town,
He did not think of it,

277
00:28:28,118 --> 00:28:32,714
Being of that grade of Englishman
Who have servants to do that for them.

278
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,550
He didn't miss much.

279
00:28:34,718 --> 00:28:38,677
All Suez has is the canal.
A Crewe Junction for ship spotters.

280
00:28:43,958 --> 00:28:48,748
Sitting on rusted sections of Bailey bridge
Left over from the Six-Day War,

281
00:28:48,918 --> 00:28:50,556
I try my Russian on one.

282
00:28:50,718 --> 00:28:52,674
Dobriy den!

283
00:28:54,758 --> 00:28:57,033
Means good morning.

284
00:29:04,958 --> 00:29:06,789
Dobriy den!

285
00:29:06,958 --> 00:29:09,426
They're probably Turkish.

286
00:29:15,998 --> 00:29:17,989
(TICKING)

287
00:29:23,838 --> 00:29:26,113
Day 11, back at the port.

288
00:29:26,278 --> 00:29:28,838
Let's pray the sign comes true.

289
00:29:54,638 --> 00:29:59,268
I find room on a ferry leaving at midday,
The Saudi Moon II.

290
00:29:59,438 --> 00:30:04,558
The two is crossed out since the Saudi Moon I
Foundered on a reef outside Jeddah.

291
00:30:08,278 --> 00:30:10,917
I'm the only European boarding this ship,

292
00:30:11,078 --> 00:30:16,869
Which carries either pilgrims to Mecca or
Guest workers drawn to the Saudi economy.

293
00:30:17,038 --> 00:30:22,829
Today it is guest workers, 600 of them
Waiting patiently in the noonday sun.

294
00:30:22,998 --> 00:30:27,389
They have waited patiently
In lots of other queues to get this far.

295
00:30:31,838 --> 00:30:34,989
My visa has taken many weeks
To come through.

296
00:30:35,158 --> 00:30:38,230
Every visitor to Saudi Arabia
Must be sponsored.

297
00:30:38,398 --> 00:30:41,037
There are few non-Muslims and no tourists.

298
00:30:44,438 --> 00:30:47,669
Ah, Passepartout has over-packed as usual.

299
00:30:47,838 --> 00:30:52,195
The six of us have more luggage
Than the other 600 put together!

300
00:31:03,118 --> 00:31:05,313
The captain gives the order

301
00:31:05,478 --> 00:31:09,790
And, at last, I'm on the move again
Out of Egypt.

302
00:31:17,678 --> 00:31:20,829
And there is the reason for all the delay -

303
00:31:20,998 --> 00:31:24,468
The crippled Algeria,
Marooned at the dockside.

304
00:31:43,198 --> 00:31:46,429
There's no way I can hurry the next 48 hours.

305
00:31:46,598 --> 00:31:51,911
The ship will take me to Jeddah, slowly
But surely, at no more than 15 knots.

306
00:31:52,078 --> 00:31:54,114
Plenty of time to take stock.

307
00:31:56,958 --> 00:32:01,156
Hello, world.
God, you are much bigger than I thought!

308
00:32:03,678 --> 00:32:05,430
Where am I?

309
00:32:06,438 --> 00:32:09,111
Red Sea... I am about there.

310
00:32:10,558 --> 00:32:13,277
Only that... That, that, that, that...

311
00:32:14,598 --> 00:32:16,987
...that... A little bit of that...

312
00:32:17,158 --> 00:32:19,831
And a bit of that. Oh, God!

313
00:32:38,558 --> 00:32:40,992
There's some commentary coming soon.

314
00:32:41,158 --> 00:32:42,876
Ah, here it is.

315
00:32:43,038 --> 00:32:47,589
The Saudi Moon Two (crossed out),
Was built in Italy for a Danish company.

316
00:32:47,758 --> 00:32:51,433
Rooms still bear names
Like Hamlet Lounge and Tivoli Room.

317
00:32:54,478 --> 00:32:59,598
Most of the passengers today live on deck
And have no use for the Mermaid Pub.

318
00:33:30,158 --> 00:33:32,956
Captain Abbas did not sleep at all last night,

319
00:33:33,118 --> 00:33:38,909
As he and his crew picked their way
Through the crowded waters outside Suez.

320
00:33:39,078 --> 00:33:43,435
Since oil was found here, support vessels,
As well as fishing boats,

321
00:33:43,598 --> 00:33:45,748
Dart across busy shipping lanes.

322
00:33:45,918 --> 00:33:50,275
An additional hazard is a sea depth
Of only 50 metres.

323
00:33:50,438 --> 00:33:52,747
Which is why, as the captain told us,

324
00:33:52,918 --> 00:33:56,194
Moses decided to walk across
The Gulf of Suez.

325
00:33:56,358 --> 00:34:00,351
- Captain, I am enjoying this trip.
- You are welcome any time.

326
00:34:00,518 --> 00:34:03,316
Is anybody from Liverpool in your group?

327
00:34:03,478 --> 00:34:06,117
No, Liverpudlians. Two Yorkshiremen.

328
00:34:06,278 --> 00:34:08,712
- No.
- Why Liverpool?

329
00:34:08,878 --> 00:34:11,312
Because I am in love with Liverpool.

330
00:34:11,478 --> 00:34:14,834
It was my first port
And I have many friends there.

331
00:34:14,998 --> 00:34:17,512
Wherever you have friends is best.

332
00:34:17,678 --> 00:34:23,708
To all Liverpool I send my love and to
My favourite club, the Liverpudlian Reds.

333
00:34:25,678 --> 00:34:32,834
Can you tell me, what are your views
About air travel shrinking the world?

334
00:34:33,798 --> 00:34:36,631
They are shrinking people, not the world.

335
00:34:36,798 --> 00:34:40,757
I don't like planes, not because
I am a fanatic for the sea,

336
00:34:40,918 --> 00:34:44,831
But at air you don't see.
Boom-boom, you are there!

337
00:34:44,998 --> 00:34:50,152
But at sea, you enjoy the voyage, you enjoy
The sea. Every day is not the same.

338
00:34:50,358 --> 00:34:55,148
The clouds are different, the sea
Is different, the weather is different.

339
00:34:55,318 --> 00:35:01,154
The people you see in port are different.
Nationalities, characters, traditions.

340
00:35:09,238 --> 00:35:12,230
(MUEZZIN CALLS FOR PRAYERS)

341
00:35:22,318 --> 00:35:25,993
Now I know why so many of the passengers
Have watches.

342
00:35:26,158 --> 00:35:30,595
It's to remind them
For their five-times-daily prayers.

343
00:35:33,398 --> 00:35:35,958
(CAPTAIN) At sea you see God, really.

344
00:35:36,118 --> 00:35:40,111
Either you are really faithful,
Full of faith,

345
00:35:40,278 --> 00:35:42,667
Or you are the other side, faithless,

346
00:35:42,838 --> 00:35:47,548
But if you see what God has created,
The power and depth of the seas,

347
00:35:47,718 --> 00:35:49,993
The fear, the mercy...

348
00:35:50,158 --> 00:35:54,151
In a hurricane, you die every few minutes
In that crest waves,

349
00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:57,196
But the mercy afterwards.

350
00:35:57,358 --> 00:36:00,953
We all die.
Nobody is going to stay eternally,

351
00:36:01,118 --> 00:36:05,794
But the main point is you see the power
And mercy of God in the same moment.

352
00:36:16,238 --> 00:36:19,787
(MICHAEL) It is faith and hope
That keep these people going.

353
00:36:19,958 --> 00:36:23,633
The per capita income in Egypt
Is $800 a year.

354
00:36:23,798 --> 00:36:27,507
In Saudi Arabia, it's $10,000.
This is where the hope lies.

355
00:36:27,678 --> 00:36:32,911
The faith is faith in Allah and, even at sea,
That is powerful and unshakeable.

356
00:36:46,918 --> 00:36:51,389
As the sun begins to go down
Over a defiantly blue Red Sea,

357
00:36:51,558 --> 00:36:55,107
We are passed by a container ship
Making twice our speed.

358
00:36:55,278 --> 00:37:00,989
She is the sister ship to the Ville Du Havre,
My main hope for a passage from Jeddah.

359
00:37:01,158 --> 00:37:05,436
I'm a day late and pray she is, too.
There's only one way to find out.

360
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:07,828
From the shipping agent in Jeddah.

361
00:37:07,998 --> 00:37:11,308
- Hello, is that Don Bannerman?
- yes, speaking.

362
00:37:11,478 --> 00:37:14,072
Hello, Don, it's Michael Palin here.

363
00:37:14,238 --> 00:37:18,311
Good morning, michaei.
You'rE due in'jeddah tomorrow sometime?

364
00:37:18,478 --> 00:37:20,867
What I need to know from you

365
00:37:21,038 --> 00:37:26,954
Is if there's any chance
That the Ville Du Havre has been delayed,

366
00:37:27,118 --> 00:37:29,552
So I can get that on from Jeddah?

367
00:37:29,718 --> 00:37:33,836
No, I'm sorry, Michael.
THE ville Du Havre arrived this morning

368
00:37:33,998 --> 00:37:38,037
And she looks like she'll sail
This evening some time.

369
00:37:38,198 --> 00:37:41,713
You'vE missed the ship
As regards the Ville Du Havre.

370
00:37:43,118 --> 00:37:45,586
Um... Yeah, thanks.

371
00:37:45,758 --> 00:37:48,477
That's a bit... That's a real blow.

372
00:37:49,678 --> 00:37:57,517
Can you then look out for anything
Leaving Jeddah as soon as possible?

373
00:37:57,678 --> 00:38:01,591
Otherwise, I presume I could lose days?

374
00:38:01,758 --> 00:38:07,594
Yeah, we'll do our best to look around
In'jeddah for a vessel

375
00:38:07,758 --> 00:38:09,749
At the first opportunity.

376
00:38:09,918 --> 00:38:13,308
- OK, thanks a lot. Bye now.
- Bye-bye for now.

377
00:38:15,198 --> 00:38:17,029
Thank you.

378
00:38:17,758 --> 00:38:20,067
This is not good news.

379
00:38:20,238 --> 00:38:25,107
The Ville Du Havre was to have taken me
To Muscat for a dhow connection to India.

380
00:38:25,278 --> 00:38:31,831
Dhows also go from Dubai, but it's a longer
Journey around the Strait of Hormuz.

381
00:38:31,998 --> 00:38:35,308
Every day's delay in Jeddah is serious.

382
00:38:35,478 --> 00:38:39,994
If I can't get a boat out fast,
I could be ten days late in Bombay

383
00:38:40,158 --> 00:38:43,787
And the schedule would fall apart
Like a pack of cards.

384
00:38:43,958 --> 00:38:48,110
Oh, if only this journey
Worked as neatly as the commentary.

385
00:38:50,918 --> 00:38:53,148
That's dominoes, right?

386
00:38:53,318 --> 00:38:55,832
Dominoes? Same word?

387
00:38:55,998 --> 00:39:00,628
My fellow passengers don't seem
Very interested in my plight.

388
00:39:01,158 --> 00:39:03,626
They are more interested in my watch.

389
00:39:08,838 --> 00:39:12,274
No, I don't want that one.
That is the one I want.

390
00:39:14,078 --> 00:39:16,717
Let me look at that again. Let me try again.

391
00:39:16,878 --> 00:39:20,666
No, it's in Arabic. I don't understand it.

392
00:39:20,838 --> 00:39:23,352
I don't understand.

393
00:39:24,878 --> 00:39:27,756
I want that one. You can't have two watches.

394
00:39:29,838 --> 00:39:34,309
It was a present from my wife.
She would be very sad. Thank you.

395
00:39:34,478 --> 00:39:37,948
Salaam Alekum.

396
00:39:44,998 --> 00:39:47,796
(TICKING)

397
00:40:02,118 --> 00:40:06,077
Another relentlessly hot day
As we draw close to Jeddah,

398
00:40:06,238 --> 00:40:11,790
The centre of what is becoming for me
An Arabian Bermuda Triangle.

399
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,831
(CHILDREN WAIL)

400
00:40:20,198 --> 00:40:23,588
Millions of pilgrims come
Through Jeddah every year,

401
00:40:23,758 --> 00:40:26,750
And any disease
Can rapidly become an epidemic.

402
00:40:26,918 --> 00:40:31,070
Meningitis is the latest danger
And we all have to be inoculated.

403
00:40:32,958 --> 00:40:38,954
In contrast with Suez, Jeddah's port looks
Modern, expensive and soullessly efficient.

404
00:40:39,118 --> 00:40:41,871
It's the formidable face of a boom economy,

405
00:40:42,038 --> 00:40:46,634
As confident as Liverpool
And London must have been 100 years ago.

406
00:40:54,878 --> 00:40:58,188
The captain and his Saudi pilot guide us in,

407
00:40:58,358 --> 00:41:03,307
Whilst in the Hans Andersen Suite,
Medicine pursues its ruthless course.

408
00:41:03,478 --> 00:41:06,754
- Does it have any bad effects?
- No, not at all.

409
00:41:06,918 --> 00:41:10,354
- How long will it last?
- Two years.

410
00:41:10,518 --> 00:41:11,951
Two years.

411
00:41:16,918 --> 00:41:18,431
AARGHH!

412
00:41:18,598 --> 00:41:21,715
Passepartout is sadly letting me down again.

413
00:41:30,998 --> 00:41:33,990
Day 12, Jeddah, Texas!

414
00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:37,230
Before any sightseeing,
There's business to do.

415
00:41:37,398 --> 00:41:41,835
After the first hot bath since London,
I seek Don Bannerman's advice.

416
00:41:41,998 --> 00:41:44,956
So, we've missed the Ville Du Havre.

417
00:41:45,118 --> 00:41:50,272
Er... Any hope of a substitute?
Is there anything else going?

418
00:41:50,438 --> 00:41:56,877
The alternative, Michael,
Is to try and get you on an Italian vessel.

419
00:41:57,038 --> 00:41:59,188
When does that go?

420
00:41:59,358 --> 00:42:05,513
She is sailing from Jeddah
At 8.00 on Saturday.

421
00:42:05,678 --> 00:42:08,556
- 8 a.m. On Saturday.
- Ah, Saturday. OK.

422
00:42:08,718 --> 00:42:12,836
- Only a couple of days late.
- We can try and get you all on board.

423
00:42:12,998 --> 00:42:18,026
Unfortunately, she's going to bypass Muscat
And go straight through to Dubai.

424
00:42:18,198 --> 00:42:21,793
- She won't call at Muscat.
- Go straight up to Dubai?

425
00:42:21,958 --> 00:42:24,711
It's the other side of the Hormuz Strait.

426
00:42:24,878 --> 00:42:26,994
And there's nothing else?

427
00:42:27,158 --> 00:42:29,752
That is the next available.

428
00:42:29,918 --> 00:42:33,991
It's the best opportunity.
There's nothing else at the moment.

429
00:42:34,158 --> 00:42:38,674
So, miss Muscat,
Got a three-day leg to Dubai,

430
00:42:38,838 --> 00:42:43,434
Then get a dhow in Dubai, which goes back
Through the Straits of Hormuz!

431
00:42:43,598 --> 00:42:45,509
It's not easy, is it?

432
00:42:45,678 --> 00:42:48,192
Serious thinking has to be done now.

433
00:42:48,358 --> 00:42:51,714
What better for the brain
Than mindless exercise?

434
00:42:51,878 --> 00:42:55,507
Besides, the roads of Jeddah
Are not as dull as they look.

435
00:43:09,518 --> 00:43:13,875
These extraordinary pop art monuments
Brighten up the roundabouts.

436
00:43:14,038 --> 00:43:19,556
The Saudis, severe enough to ban theatre
Or cinema, do let themselves go occasionally.

437
00:43:20,478 --> 00:43:24,312
Who can say this is a nation
With no sense of humour?

438
00:43:58,598 --> 00:44:01,670
From Tony Robinson, Muscat.

439
00:44:01,838 --> 00:44:05,308
"At present nil chance of dhow at Muscat.

440
00:44:05,478 --> 00:44:10,393
"Local contacts say dhows expected daily,
But as yet none registered.

441
00:44:10,558 --> 00:44:15,109
"In view of this,
Recommend you proceed Dubai direct."

442
00:44:16,158 --> 00:44:17,671
So, there's no choice.

443
00:44:17,838 --> 00:44:22,036
It has to be Dubai, which takes longer
To get to and get away from.

444
00:44:22,198 --> 00:44:26,714
Each piece of fresh information
Just seems to lengthen the journey.

445
00:44:26,878 --> 00:44:30,393
If only I had a Jules Verne
To write me out of this mess!

446
00:44:38,718 --> 00:44:42,791
I take a walk into Jeddah,
Virtually empty in the heat of the day.

447
00:44:42,958 --> 00:44:47,634
A few buildings in the old quarter
Survived the tidal wave of rebuilding.

448
00:44:47,798 --> 00:44:52,349
And one of them, across the street
From the tower for the Bank of Jeddah,

449
00:44:52,518 --> 00:44:54,827
Was where Lawrence of Arabia lived.

450
00:44:54,998 --> 00:44:57,671
I try to draw inspiration from this.

451
00:44:57,838 --> 00:45:00,671
He wouldn't have given up without a fight.

452
00:45:04,918 --> 00:45:08,991
There isn't much inspiration
To be drawn from Jeddah's streets.

453
00:45:09,158 --> 00:45:14,596
The sharing of smiles which passes
For communication in a strange country

454
00:45:14,758 --> 00:45:16,828
Doesn't seem to operate here.

455
00:45:16,998 --> 00:45:20,707
It's hard to feel part of this land of secrets.

456
00:45:28,558 --> 00:45:31,868
(MUEZZIN CALLS FOR PRAYERS)

457
00:45:37,798 --> 00:45:42,110
By evening, i've come up
With an alternative improvised plan,

458
00:45:42,278 --> 00:45:46,112
And Saudi Arabia is the last place
In the world to improvise.

459
00:45:48,278 --> 00:45:53,830
It's a gamble and it may not come off,
But it's all i've got left to save the journey.

460
00:46:15,678 --> 00:46:20,513
Ironically, it's taken months of negotiation
To get into Jeddah at all,

461
00:46:20,678 --> 00:46:23,636
Now it has all fallen apart so fast

462
00:46:23,798 --> 00:46:29,714
That unless my new plan works, i've no chance
Of completing the journey in 80 days.

463
00:46:29,878 --> 00:46:35,396
And, to add insult to injury,
I'll have failed in the first two weeks.

464
00:46:41,798 --> 00:46:44,153
I'm heading out on the road to Mecca

465
00:46:44,318 --> 00:46:48,516
To a point beyond which I can't go
Without making a sacrifice.

466
00:46:48,678 --> 00:46:50,669
I'll let me explain.

467
00:46:57,678 --> 00:47:01,990
The situation is this - it is going to put us
At least four days late

468
00:47:02,158 --> 00:47:04,626
If I catch a boat round to Dubai.

469
00:47:04,798 --> 00:47:09,155
That's the quickest we can do it,
So I thought we were scuppered,

470
00:47:09,318 --> 00:47:14,517
But at 3.30 a.m. This morning, the Saudi
Minister for Information came up with this.

471
00:47:14,678 --> 00:47:19,547
It permits me to travel across Saudi Arabia
As far as Dubai overland.

472
00:47:19,718 --> 00:47:23,347
However, it only extends to me.
Not you lads, too.

473
00:47:23,518 --> 00:47:26,396
Sorry about that, but that's the way it goes.

474
00:47:26,558 --> 00:47:30,836
At least it gets me on time in Dubai
And we can catch up time on the dhow.

475
00:47:30,998 --> 00:47:33,796
So, bye, lads. See you in Dubai in two days.

476
00:47:33,958 --> 00:47:35,869
Inshallah.

477
00:47:38,838 --> 00:47:43,229
Sorry about that. You'll get a lift,
Pretty boys like you.

478
00:47:43,398 --> 00:47:46,310
Drive carefully, Michael!

479
00:47:59,078 --> 00:48:01,194
Pretty boys like us (!)