1 00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:50,923 "Dear diary, slightly euphoric." 2 00:00:51,087 --> 00:00:55,763 After 11 days staring at the ocean, Everything man-made is fascinating. 3 00:00:55,927 --> 00:00:59,158 The white dome houses Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose, 4 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,636 The largest wooden aircraft built. 5 00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:07,120 It only flew once, but it was a true child Of the American desire to test technology. 6 00:01:07,287 --> 00:01:12,805 It's technology that has brought me To America twice as fast as Phileas Fogg. 7 00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:17,085 From being well behind the entire trip, I've almost caught him up. 8 00:01:17,247 --> 00:01:19,807 Now I am just two days behind. 9 00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:22,322 I daren't let myself dwell on the fact 10 00:01:22,487 --> 00:01:26,605 That I'm still on the other side of the world With only 17 days left. 11 00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:38,001 The only cloud on a sunny evening 12 00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:41,762 Is having to say goodbye To Capt Amirapu and the crew - 13 00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,999 Perfect hosts and unbeatable At Pass the Parcel. 14 00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:50,156 The good news is I'm going On the fastest ship of my journey, 15 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,716 Able to outrun any container carrier. 16 00:01:52,887 --> 00:01:55,685 The bad news is, She's embedded in concrete. 17 00:01:57,247 --> 00:02:04,005 RMS Queen Mary. 51 years ago, she crossed The Atlantic in fewer than four days. 18 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:09,446 Now she sits still, a well behaved, Well groomed prisoner. 19 00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:28,083 It's amazing how tempting the Pacific looks When you're not on it. 20 00:02:35,007 --> 00:02:39,603 It's Thanksgiving weekend And America is taking it easy. 21 00:02:43,207 --> 00:02:47,917 On such a day, there is no entertainment Quite like that on Venice Beach. 22 00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:51,523 The street theatre opens at breakfast time. 23 00:03:22,207 --> 00:03:24,596 Thank you, thank you! 24 00:03:25,527 --> 00:03:29,281 I have to take a five-minute break To recharge my batteries. 25 00:03:29,447 --> 00:03:34,726 The next show is in five minutes and you Could get a surprise from Dr Robotron! 26 00:03:34,887 --> 00:03:37,117 Thank you, thank you, time out. 27 00:03:37,287 --> 00:03:41,803 (STRIDE JAZZ PIANO VERSION OF "SWEET GEORGIA BROWN") 28 00:03:50,167 --> 00:03:53,045 As the sun climbs, so does the energy level. 29 00:03:58,687 --> 00:04:00,996 This is concentrated California - 30 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:05,524 Unselfconscious, ostentatious, Loud and unapologetic. 31 00:04:05,687 --> 00:04:08,565 It's the happy face of excess. 32 00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,439 Time to go. 33 00:04:42,607 --> 00:04:47,840 It's oddly disturbing staying on a liner Built for speed that never moves. 34 00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:53,403 Her new owners Have preserved her body well, 35 00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:56,718 But they've taken liberties with her spirit. 36 00:05:01,207 --> 00:05:04,005 On her fine wide deck are poignant memories 37 00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:07,796 Of days before the rich and famous Travelled on Concorde. 38 00:05:19,087 --> 00:05:23,046 The faces are there, But everything else is missing. 39 00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:28,839 And, nowadays, the Queen Mary's horizon Never changes. 40 00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:44,877 Union Station, Los Angeles, 41 00:05:45,047 --> 00:05:49,165 Is another great relic Of the stylish and elegant 1930s. 42 00:05:50,287 --> 00:05:52,960 (BUSBOY) 16, upstairs, eight, upstairs. 43 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,282 That was B, upstairs. 44 00:05:56,447 --> 00:05:59,564 OK... And A, upstairs. 45 00:06:00,247 --> 00:06:05,275 Almost from the moment the station Was built, the railways fell into decline, 46 00:06:05,447 --> 00:06:07,756 But no one could quite kill them off. 47 00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:12,478 There's still an express from LA to Chicago. It's called the Desert Wind, 48 00:06:12,647 --> 00:06:15,525 But you won't see Many stars on it these days. 49 00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:17,996 - When do we start? - When do we start? 50 00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:23,799 As soon as they hook up and the power Comes on, they say "Aboard" and we go. 51 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:30,076 - When do we get to Glenwood Springs? - We get there tomorrow... Afternoon. 52 00:06:31,607 --> 00:06:37,125 Everyone here is a natural performer. The Staff of the Desert Wind are no exception. 53 00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:46,442 They run the train as an endearing mixture Of holiday camp and the Titfield Thunderbolt! 54 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,165 A-board! 55 00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:23,601 We pull out into the suburbs of LA Over an hour late, 56 00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:28,204 But no one seems to worry. They're on board because they love trains. 57 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:37,243 From an aeroplane, America disappears below you; 58 00:07:37,407 --> 00:07:39,682 From a train, it opens up before you. 59 00:07:39,847 --> 00:07:44,159 You can take in its breathtaking beauty In the detail it deserves. 60 00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:57,076 The 65th day of my journey And the first sight of snow, 61 00:07:57,247 --> 00:07:59,442 As we climb up into the Sierras. 62 00:07:59,607 --> 00:08:02,075 Tonight, we'll be in the Mojave Desert, 63 00:08:02,247 --> 00:08:07,116 At dawn we'll reach Salt Lake City, Then Glenwood Springs in the Rockies. 64 00:08:18,127 --> 00:08:21,836 Outside, the landscape Is grand and daunting. 65 00:08:22,007 --> 00:08:25,682 Inside, the passengers Are chummy and accessible. 66 00:08:30,287 --> 00:08:33,006 - Nice to meet you. Michael Palin. - And you. 67 00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:36,284 - I am Mar-Mer the Clown. - Mar-Mer the Clown? 68 00:08:36,447 --> 00:08:38,915 - A travelling clown, obviously? - Yes. 69 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:43,000 Travelling from my small community. I live on a farm. 70 00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:45,806 When I want jobs, I get on the phone. 71 00:08:45,967 --> 00:08:49,277 I say, "I am Mar-Mer the Clown And I have a great show! 72 00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:54,362 "The show is an hour. I play music, I do puppets, I do everything." 73 00:08:54,527 --> 00:08:58,805 They say, "OK, how much do you charge?" I tell them and they book me. 74 00:08:58,967 --> 00:09:03,483 If I asked you to come and entertain, What sort of act would you do? 75 00:09:03,647 --> 00:09:08,357 OK, i'll tell you one way that I open my act, Which came upon me one time. 76 00:09:08,527 --> 00:09:13,237 I start and I tell them that everything Is huge, big movements! 77 00:09:13,407 --> 00:09:17,400 I have this gorgeous gown That has huge sleeves, you know, 78 00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,319 And a huge ruff. 79 00:09:19,487 --> 00:09:25,164 And I say, "Do you know what Mar-Mer The Clown did before she came? 80 00:09:25,327 --> 00:09:27,716 "She put on her white clown face... 81 00:09:27,887 --> 00:09:31,766 "then she put on her eyes, Big and black and bright, 82 00:09:31,927 --> 00:09:35,124 "her nose she painted a rosy, rosy red 83 00:09:35,287 --> 00:09:40,236 "and her mouth, and on her head She pulled her silly red wig." 84 00:09:40,407 --> 00:09:44,320 Can I ask you... This is fascinating, But how long have you? 85 00:09:44,487 --> 00:09:46,762 - Two years. - Clown for two years? 86 00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:49,157 You took it up... Why? 87 00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,966 Well, my husband says I was always a clown! 88 00:10:33,087 --> 00:10:37,603 As our three locomotives Haul us 5,000 feet up into the Rockies, 89 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:42,887 Word reaches me that a ship bound for England leaves New York in five days. 90 00:10:43,047 --> 00:10:48,246 In theory, I have a day to spare, which i'd Planned to use seeing a friend in Chicago. 91 00:10:48,407 --> 00:10:51,001 But the Rocky Mountains are so tempting, 92 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:54,443 I decide to forget friends in Chicago And explore. 93 00:10:54,607 --> 00:10:57,724 - Greenwood Springs! - Thank you for a great trip. 94 00:10:57,887 --> 00:11:02,483 - Hope you come back to the USA. - i'll do it the other way round! 95 00:11:02,647 --> 00:11:05,286 Your connection will be over on that side. 96 00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,722 - Thanks. - OK. Nice trains. 97 00:11:10,407 --> 00:11:15,925 A few hundred yards from the station is One of the largest jacuzzis i've ever seen! 98 00:11:18,207 --> 00:11:21,165 It may be winter, But partial nudity is in order 99 00:11:21,327 --> 00:11:25,115 As bathers risk air temperatures Of 33 Fahrenheit 100 00:11:25,287 --> 00:11:28,563 To bask in water temperatures of 104. 101 00:11:28,727 --> 00:11:32,515 These waters soothed the Ute Indians Over 100 years ago. 102 00:11:32,687 --> 00:11:34,484 Now there are no Indians left 103 00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:38,686 And for 25 cents anyone can buy Three minutes in the therapy seat, 104 00:11:38,847 --> 00:11:41,486 Something like a benign electric chair. 105 00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:46,167 It can go wrong, like anything else. 106 00:11:54,287 --> 00:11:59,964 It's my first hot bath for a few weeks, which Is why so many people have disappeared. 107 00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:05,281 It's very pleasant. It's like swimming In slightly over-salted consommé. 108 00:12:05,447 --> 00:12:09,804 I'm told that no marine life Can exist in here, so you are safe. 109 00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:15,246 Michael Palin, news at 4.30, Greenwood Springs, Colorado. 110 00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:25,444 An hour away, and a further 2,500 feet Up into the Rockies, is Aspen, Colorado, 111 00:12:25,607 --> 00:12:29,043 America's most exclusive winter resort. 112 00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:39,840 It's a combination of East Coast taste And West Coast money. 113 00:12:40,007 --> 00:12:43,079 No neon signs, no sodium street lights, 114 00:12:43,247 --> 00:12:45,841 Houses clean and neat and rented out. 115 00:12:46,007 --> 00:12:50,159 Most people who work here live out of town Where it's cheaper. 116 00:12:50,847 --> 00:12:53,964 All of you who know "Around the World in 80 Days" 117 00:12:54,127 --> 00:12:57,005 Will wonder why I haven't been in a balloon. 118 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,965 It's because the balloon wasn't in the book. 119 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,085 It was a fabrication of Mike Todd For the film. 120 00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:05,363 So you won't find me in a balloon. 121 00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:06,846 Apart from this one. 122 00:13:18,487 --> 00:13:22,799 As we go up, my stomach Remains firmly on the ground. 123 00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:28,398 I can't accept why I have to wear a seat belt To drive to the supermarket, 124 00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:33,641 But nothing at all to drift in a small basket 1,000 feet above solid rock! 125 00:13:33,807 --> 00:13:37,083 But stark fear becomes resignation, 126 00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:42,321 Then tentative enjoyment And, finally, sheer pleasure. 127 00:15:00,327 --> 00:15:04,400 Graceful in the sky, hot air balloons Are clumsy on the ground. 128 00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:08,719 But in some quarters, Our landing is greeted with howls of joy! 129 00:15:08,887 --> 00:15:10,843 (DIN OF BARKING) 130 00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:21,845 These are some of the 250 huskies Bred and trained at Krabloonik, near Aspen. 131 00:15:22,007 --> 00:15:27,400 Some are racers, others are being prepared To go on a 5,000-mile crossing of Antarctica. 132 00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:30,718 All I want is to hitch a ride To the nearest railway. 133 00:15:31,647 --> 00:15:34,957 The human element In a dog team is a musher. 134 00:15:35,127 --> 00:15:37,846 My musher today is called Marian. 135 00:15:38,007 --> 00:15:43,081 He's a law school dropout from Mississippi, Now married to Aspen's librarian. 136 00:15:47,287 --> 00:15:49,517 I'm feeling spoiled! 137 00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:51,723 So much for the butch image! 138 00:15:51,887 --> 00:15:55,846 Swaddled against the elements Like some Victorian duchess, 139 00:15:56,007 --> 00:16:00,637 There's clearly little I can contribute But to sit still and shut up. 140 00:16:00,807 --> 00:16:03,196 - Comfortable? - Yeah, I'm fine. 141 00:16:03,727 --> 00:16:05,718 We're set when you guys are. 142 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:15,201 Then we're away with a helpful shove From a fellow musher, 143 00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:18,439 A surge of dog power From the 13-strong team, 144 00:16:18,607 --> 00:16:21,405 And howls of outrage from the dogs we left. 145 00:16:36,407 --> 00:16:41,276 Marian controls the team By co-operation rather than coercion. 146 00:16:41,447 --> 00:16:43,358 No whip or rein is used. 147 00:16:43,527 --> 00:16:49,397 He knows the name, not only of each dog, But of each dog's parents and grandparents. 148 00:16:57,207 --> 00:17:01,644 Dog sledding requires physical strength And intense concentration. 149 00:17:01,807 --> 00:17:07,040 The musher is a mixture of charioteer, Speedway rider and sergeant major. 150 00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:11,761 All that stops me feeling guiltily lazy 151 00:17:11,927 --> 00:17:15,681 Is that the dogs are clearly having As good a time as I am. 152 00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:41,279 The stamina of the huskies is extraordinary. 153 00:17:41,447 --> 00:17:45,486 In an annual race across Alaska, They cover 100 miles a day 154 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,207 For 17 days in all weathers. 155 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:51,677 If there was enough snow, They'd take me to Chicago. 156 00:17:51,847 --> 00:17:55,044 As it is, we only just make Glenwood Springs. 157 00:17:57,447 --> 00:18:02,999 Here I'm greeted by the ominous news That the Chicago train is delayed. 158 00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:07,763 This could be serious. I have to be In Chicago on time tomorrow. 159 00:18:07,927 --> 00:18:12,239 If I miss the connecting train to New York, I miss the boat to England, 160 00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:14,557 And i've no spare day left. 161 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,719 I begin to regret having got off the train. 162 00:18:32,727 --> 00:18:37,005 A few minutes becomes an hour And then an hour and a half. 163 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,525 Come on, get a move on! 164 00:19:06,487 --> 00:19:08,398 What was the delay? 165 00:19:08,567 --> 00:19:13,687 Three trains meet at Salt Lake City - Desert Wind, Pioneer and California Zephyr. 166 00:19:13,847 --> 00:19:20,320 California Zephyr got stuck in snow and we Need them, because they have the engines. 167 00:19:20,487 --> 00:19:24,605 - Any more snow up front? - Right there, all around you. 168 00:19:31,527 --> 00:19:33,995 As we pull away into the evening, 169 00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:38,399 What was almost a stroll Again becomes a race against the clock. 170 00:19:38,567 --> 00:19:41,798 I arrived here in ease, I leave in mild panic. 171 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:55,684 Across Nebraska and into Iowa on the tracks Of the Burlington and Northern Railroad. 172 00:19:56,607 --> 00:19:59,485 In America, Rail freight is in private hands. 173 00:19:59,647 --> 00:20:02,400 Amtrak trains rent the lines they pass over. 174 00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:06,765 They aren't always given the best And freight trains have priority. 175 00:20:06,927 --> 00:20:12,240 Prospects for catching up time look as bare As the farmlands we're passing. 176 00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:20,918 I don't know if it's because I've been in the Orient, 177 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:23,965 But I really notice how big Americans are. 178 00:20:24,127 --> 00:20:28,325 I mean huge! And a lot... No, you are slim. 179 00:20:28,487 --> 00:20:32,082 Chuck, you are slim Compared to some people on this train. 180 00:20:32,247 --> 00:20:35,922 Some are very big indeed. What problems does this bring? 181 00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:40,638 We treat them same as... We treat obesity as a handicap. 182 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:46,279 But there are some special problems Encountered with that. 183 00:20:46,447 --> 00:20:52,397 One in particular was on our coastal train Between Seattle and Los Angeles. 184 00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:56,037 A woman had forgotten To put the toilet seat down 185 00:20:56,207 --> 00:21:01,406 And instead of sitting on the seat, She sat on the steel mechanics of it. 186 00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:08,245 On our facilities, we have a macerator For treatment of the material. 187 00:21:09,607 --> 00:21:12,326 So, she sat on this mechanical box 188 00:21:12,487 --> 00:21:18,403 And her obesity went into... Into the toilet bowl. 189 00:21:18,567 --> 00:21:23,687 Instead of a water flush, we use a Combination of suction and a water flush. 190 00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:29,205 Her obesity, unfortunately, hit the little Hole and she got sucked into the toilet. 191 00:21:30,087 --> 00:21:34,205 That's the sort of thing Your travel agent never warns you about. 192 00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:37,165 - Where are you from? - Omaha, Nebraska. 193 00:21:37,327 --> 00:21:40,683 Strategic Air Command Is Omaha's claim to fame. 194 00:21:40,847 --> 00:21:45,204 That's where the President and others Arrive in a national emergency 195 00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:47,358 To blow the rest of the world up! 196 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:51,880 Do you have a family that travel with you? 197 00:21:52,047 --> 00:21:55,039 - Are you married? - No, I'm divorced now. 198 00:21:55,207 --> 00:21:58,961 I formerly travelled with my wife Back and forth to Chicago, 199 00:21:59,127 --> 00:22:00,606 But now it's just me. 200 00:22:00,767 --> 00:22:07,161 - When did you divorce? - Officially, about... Three, four months ago. 201 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:10,996 I mean, we weren't peaches And cream at getting along, 202 00:22:11,167 --> 00:22:16,525 But I didn't think we were in a situation Of getting along that badly. 203 00:22:16,687 --> 00:22:19,759 I did all I could To salvage the relationship... 204 00:22:19,927 --> 00:22:22,805 Americans will tell you anything. 205 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:26,596 Some of the stories Are as endless as the line itself, 206 00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:30,123 But time for talk Is one of the pleasures of the train. 207 00:22:41,047 --> 00:22:46,405 Crawling into Burlington, after midday And still the wrong side of the Mississippi, 208 00:22:46,567 --> 00:22:50,480 I'd gladly exchange time to talk With a decent turn of speed. 209 00:22:52,447 --> 00:22:54,119 Come on! 210 00:22:54,287 --> 00:22:55,925 Get a move on! 211 00:23:01,527 --> 00:23:06,521 (TANN0Y) Ladies and gentlemen, We are now crossing the mighty Mississippi. 212 00:23:06,687 --> 00:23:13,035 This is the greatest US waterway. The river Travels 2,350 miles to the Gulf of Mexico. 213 00:23:13,207 --> 00:23:16,756 It is the state line between Iowa And the land beyond. 214 00:23:16,927 --> 00:23:19,999 Before the first river bridge Was built in 1868, 215 00:23:20,167 --> 00:23:23,204 Passengers and freight crossed in ferry boats. 216 00:23:23,367 --> 00:23:25,756 In winter, they braved the ice on foot. 217 00:23:25,927 --> 00:23:30,364 We apologise for the delay And hope it hasn't inconvenienced anyone. 218 00:23:30,527 --> 00:23:32,563 Thank you for choosing Amtrak. 219 00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:38,757 "We hope it hasn't inconvenienced anyone." 220 00:23:38,927 --> 00:23:42,442 This may well prove to be The epitaph on my journey. 221 00:23:45,247 --> 00:23:48,876 The short December day is already fading 222 00:23:49,047 --> 00:23:53,484 And still no sign of small town Illinois Becoming urban Chicago. 223 00:24:01,727 --> 00:24:03,957 Well, Chicago has materialised. 224 00:24:04,127 --> 00:24:09,485 Though this isn't its most attractive face, I've never been so glad to see a station! 225 00:24:14,607 --> 00:24:20,477 - New York, please, sleeper? - Two from the rear end of the train, sir. 226 00:24:20,647 --> 00:24:23,366 - Fine. When does it go? Soon? - Yeah. 227 00:24:23,527 --> 00:24:25,404 It's on time. 228 00:24:25,567 --> 00:24:30,641 (TANN0Y) Attention, please, would Michael Palin come to the ticket office? 229 00:24:30,807 --> 00:24:32,763 Michael Palin. 230 00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:35,727 - Up the ramp and turn to your left. - OK. 231 00:24:35,887 --> 00:24:39,436 Near the escalators. Up the ramp and left. 232 00:24:39,607 --> 00:24:43,998 This is a mystery. Who knows I am here apart from the BBC? 233 00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:47,523 - Are you filming a movie? - Dozens of movies! 234 00:24:47,687 --> 00:24:50,679 - It's the end of the world. - I recognise you! 235 00:24:50,847 --> 00:24:53,839 Now, where's the ticket office? Tickets? 236 00:24:55,687 --> 00:24:59,123 - Del loves you. - He can go to London instead of me! 237 00:24:59,287 --> 00:25:01,084 Ticket office, up the ramp! 238 00:25:04,967 --> 00:25:08,039 - Where's the ticket office? - Straight ahead. 239 00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:10,596 Oh, it's up that ramp. Thank you. 240 00:25:13,687 --> 00:25:18,807 I'm caught between missing the connection And not knowing what the emergency is. 241 00:25:18,967 --> 00:25:22,437 It could be that my ship is re-routed. I have to find out. 242 00:25:26,007 --> 00:25:29,363 I can see from the clock I've only seven minutes left. 243 00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:33,076 I know it's un-British, But it's time for queue barging. 244 00:25:35,607 --> 00:25:39,964 Excuse me, someone paged me. A message for Mr Palin? 245 00:25:40,127 --> 00:25:44,325 That's me. Mr Palin, call this Gentleman here. A Seth Mason. 246 00:25:44,487 --> 00:25:50,084 Oh... Thank you. I'll have to call him later. I'll call him at Christmas! 247 00:25:50,247 --> 00:25:53,478 - Thanks. - 19 North, sir. 248 00:25:53,647 --> 00:25:57,799 So, it's just a message To ring my friend in Chicago! 249 00:25:57,967 --> 00:26:01,164 The one I didn't have time to see. 250 00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:06,003 Innocently, a friendship has come Within a whisker of wrecking my chances. 251 00:26:06,167 --> 00:26:10,718 I'm not going round the world again! I tell you, this is it. 252 00:26:10,887 --> 00:26:12,843 I'll go into an old folks' home, 253 00:26:13,007 --> 00:26:16,522 Travel very gently From Maidenhead to London on Thursdays. 254 00:26:46,567 --> 00:26:50,845 I'm on the Lakeshore Limited, Only 200 miles from New York. 255 00:26:51,007 --> 00:26:56,240 I love this scenery and i'll miss it, But the real America is inside the train. 256 00:26:56,407 --> 00:27:01,800 (WOMAN) The first role model that anybody has Is probably their television set. 257 00:27:01,967 --> 00:27:05,880 The TV says you should be wearing This type of clothing, 258 00:27:06,047 --> 00:27:08,686 You should be working towards this goal. 259 00:27:08,847 --> 00:27:12,283 This is how they are socialised And what they believe. 260 00:27:12,447 --> 00:27:16,963 Little girls are taught That this is the way it should be. 261 00:27:17,127 --> 00:27:21,325 You don't want to be a housewife, You want to be a career woman. 262 00:27:21,487 --> 00:27:26,038 You want to go to college, you want a nice House, you want a Mercedes or BMW, 263 00:27:26,207 --> 00:27:29,438 You want a large home, You want all the amenities. 264 00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:32,246 This is the way Americans are socialised, 265 00:27:32,407 --> 00:27:34,637 As opposed to someone in India, 266 00:27:34,807 --> 00:27:39,323 Someone for whom the principle crux Of their life is religion. 267 00:27:39,487 --> 00:27:42,923 Who gives you this? Who sets these standards? 268 00:27:43,087 --> 00:27:46,079 - Who sets our standards? - Yes, who? Teachers? 269 00:27:46,247 --> 00:27:48,477 American culture. 270 00:27:51,767 --> 00:27:57,717 The Lakeshore Limited attracts a different Clientele from the laid-back Desert Wind. 271 00:27:57,887 --> 00:27:59,878 Why are you on the train? 272 00:28:00,047 --> 00:28:04,563 Sheila made me come. We're going To New York to see a show at Radio City. 273 00:28:04,727 --> 00:28:08,800 - We're going shopping at Macy's. What else? - Chinatown. 274 00:28:08,967 --> 00:28:10,923 See the Statue of Liberty. 275 00:28:11,087 --> 00:28:13,362 Long day. Won't you do anything fun? 276 00:28:13,527 --> 00:28:16,837 - Chippendales. - Chippendales! 277 00:28:17,007 --> 00:28:21,080 - What's Chippendales? - Male strippers. Sure, I get to say that! 278 00:28:21,247 --> 00:28:23,522 - Seen any before? - Don't be scared. 279 00:28:23,687 --> 00:28:26,440 - Sure, i've seen them. - What do they do? 280 00:28:26,607 --> 00:28:29,565 They dance and strip... Not naked, though. 281 00:28:29,727 --> 00:28:31,922 - Not naked? - They grovel for tips. 282 00:28:33,487 --> 00:28:36,320 - Are you married, or free spirits? - Married. 283 00:28:36,487 --> 00:28:39,160 - We're married free spirits. - Very good! 284 00:28:39,327 --> 00:28:42,160 - Any strip clubs in the town you're from? - No. 285 00:28:42,327 --> 00:28:44,045 That's where I saw them! 286 00:28:44,207 --> 00:28:47,324 When you come back home, Is it an... Anti-climax?! 287 00:28:49,807 --> 00:28:54,119 Ask her if she'll explain it to us, please! 288 00:28:54,287 --> 00:28:55,640 Explain. 289 00:28:55,807 --> 00:28:57,160 Cut! 290 00:29:05,687 --> 00:29:08,485 Grand Central station, New York. 291 00:29:11,927 --> 00:29:15,237 I disembark With a feeling of quiet satisfaction... 292 00:29:15,407 --> 00:29:18,717 No, be honest... A tidal wave of relief. 293 00:29:26,127 --> 00:29:29,915 (SHE PLAYS "SCARBOROUGH FAIR") 294 00:29:43,527 --> 00:29:48,237 Half the day left to catch my ship And the chance of being home for Christmas. 295 00:30:00,407 --> 00:30:05,083 I could get ahead with the shopping But I resist the temptation. 296 00:30:06,367 --> 00:30:09,040 Do you know Newark container depot? 297 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:10,526 - OK. - Great. 298 00:30:13,727 --> 00:30:17,083 You don't get asked that often, right? 299 00:30:18,607 --> 00:30:21,326 - Not too many container passengers. - No. 300 00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:25,321 It's a very strange life I've been leading the last 70 days. 301 00:30:26,967 --> 00:30:30,482 This is great (!) New York's only untalkative cabbie. 302 00:30:32,327 --> 00:30:36,036 You ever taken people to the QE2 Or any of those ships? 303 00:30:36,207 --> 00:30:40,086 - Ever had fares going to the QE2? - The QE2, no. 304 00:30:40,247 --> 00:30:43,762 Well, this is my QE2, the Leda Mersk. 305 00:30:43,927 --> 00:30:46,566 Destination: Felixstowe, Suffolk. 306 00:30:50,007 --> 00:30:54,046 This may not be the way the Duke of Windsor Or Liberace did it, 307 00:30:54,207 --> 00:30:58,962 But today, you cross the Atlantic With cargo, or you don't cross it at all. 308 00:30:59,127 --> 00:31:03,166 The Leda Mersk is the tenth ship I've boarded in 70 days. 309 00:31:03,327 --> 00:31:08,321 She may look an unglamorous saviour, But my fate is firmly in her hands. 310 00:31:15,967 --> 00:31:20,518 On a brilliantly clear cold morning, America gives me a fine farewell. 311 00:31:20,687 --> 00:31:24,885 I return the compliment With a wave of relief and gratitude 312 00:31:25,047 --> 00:31:27,959 To a country which so nearly tripped me up! 313 00:31:30,807 --> 00:31:33,446 - Slow ahead. - Slow ahead. 314 00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:46,964 Leda Mersk, eastbound for Kelso. Bound and safe. Leda Mersk. 315 00:31:47,127 --> 00:31:50,563 As we sail out under The Verrazano Narrows Bridge 316 00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:53,639 I am at last level pegging with Phileas Fogg. 317 00:31:53,807 --> 00:31:57,482 He left New York in the Henrietta With a cargo of gravel. 318 00:31:57,647 --> 00:31:59,922 Both of us have nine days left. 319 00:32:01,167 --> 00:32:05,524 Fogg was confident he'd make it "if the sea did not become too rough, 320 00:32:05,687 --> 00:32:09,157 "if no mishap occurred to the vessel." 321 00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:13,923 To make doubly sure, he locked up The captain and sailed the boat himself. 322 00:32:14,087 --> 00:32:19,241 If I did that, I'd have the First Officer to Deal with, one of three women on the crew. 323 00:32:19,407 --> 00:32:21,682 The sea looks blue and friendly now, 324 00:32:21,847 --> 00:32:25,522 But i've been warned About the North Atlantic in December. 325 00:32:25,687 --> 00:32:29,680 It can change its mood suddenly And dangerously. 326 00:32:39,367 --> 00:32:41,676 We cross the Gulf Stream, 327 00:32:41,847 --> 00:32:47,319 Where warm water meets cold air And the Atlantic steams like a Turkish bath. 328 00:32:50,607 --> 00:32:53,041 The eerie silence adds to the feeling 329 00:32:53,207 --> 00:32:57,598 That our fate is in the hands Of greater powers than the Maersk Line. 330 00:33:06,527 --> 00:33:10,520 On our fourth day, the wind rises, The mist clears, 331 00:33:10,687 --> 00:33:14,441 And I prepare for home Helped by Lillian, the stewardess. 332 00:33:14,607 --> 00:33:18,998 I'm rather vain about my hair, So just a little trim to tidy me up 333 00:33:19,167 --> 00:33:25,766 For that moment on the dockside... When I see my loved ones again. 334 00:33:25,927 --> 00:33:28,566 - I don't... - They won't recognise you. 335 00:33:28,727 --> 00:33:30,877 Ah, is that a good thing? 336 00:33:31,047 --> 00:33:35,723 The meals are on a Viking scale - Copious and carnivorous. 337 00:33:38,847 --> 00:33:44,604 The Danish hospitality, like almost Everywhere else i've been, is generous. 338 00:33:44,767 --> 00:33:48,476 - You do live well on this ship, don't you? - Oh, yeah. 339 00:33:48,647 --> 00:33:52,720 Cheers, thank you. Here's to the Leda Mersk and her crew 340 00:33:52,887 --> 00:33:57,438 - and everybody who has made me welcome. - Here's to you. Nice to have you. 341 00:33:57,607 --> 00:34:00,519 We're not there yet, but here's to Felixstowe. 342 00:34:15,167 --> 00:34:18,398 I don't see any fireworks or flotillas. 343 00:34:18,567 --> 00:34:22,765 You'd have thought the BBC Would've got out their Boat Race launch! 344 00:34:24,407 --> 00:34:27,638 It's funny how moments You've rehearsed for so long 345 00:34:27,807 --> 00:34:30,275 End up with a quite different script. 346 00:34:30,447 --> 00:34:32,722 I don't have any sense of the heroic. 347 00:34:32,887 --> 00:34:35,447 I just worry if my jacket will fit in my bag 348 00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:38,758 And did I get presents for all the children? 349 00:34:47,167 --> 00:34:52,924 When I first blew up the world, it seemed An incomprehensibly huge distance to cover. 350 00:34:53,087 --> 00:34:57,877 Now i've covered it, I can't quite grasp What I have done. 351 00:35:20,767 --> 00:35:26,046 Felixstowe on a cold December morning, Not everyone's idea of the Promised Land, 352 00:35:26,207 --> 00:35:29,438 But when you've been away for 11 weeks, It's home! 353 00:35:29,607 --> 00:35:33,998 I feel I should be leaping up and down, Terribly enthusiastic, 354 00:35:34,167 --> 00:35:37,557 But the trouble is, I've got fond of life on board ship. 355 00:35:37,727 --> 00:35:41,083 I shall miss the space and clean air. 356 00:35:41,927 --> 00:35:45,681 Don't know if I'm ready For traffic jams and telephones yet. 357 00:35:48,047 --> 00:35:52,484 Thank you, Captain, once again. Thank you very much indeed. 358 00:36:07,607 --> 00:36:10,883 I may be home, but I'm not home and dry. 359 00:36:11,047 --> 00:36:14,835 Felixstowe to the Reform Club Is by no means a direct route. 360 00:36:16,527 --> 00:36:19,803 You're not going near a railway station, Are you? 361 00:36:21,447 --> 00:36:23,756 That'll be fine. Thanks. 362 00:36:39,887 --> 00:36:43,118 - Thanks a lot. That's great. - It's all right. 363 00:36:45,927 --> 00:36:48,600 - Bet it doesn't happen to you often. - No. 364 00:36:48,767 --> 00:36:52,442 I've seen these lorries all round the world, Drawing up, 365 00:36:52,607 --> 00:36:55,075 And I thought, "It's time I went in one." 366 00:36:56,367 --> 00:37:02,044 I thought, "i'll get a British driver and we'll have A chat. See how things have been." 367 00:37:03,687 --> 00:37:07,202 - Beautiful morning, isn't it? - It's lovely. 368 00:37:07,367 --> 00:37:10,439 Do you think Drake and Magellan Had this trouble? 369 00:37:10,607 --> 00:37:12,882 "Hello, Mr Drake, back again?" 370 00:37:13,047 --> 00:37:17,723 Or are circumnavigators Only of interest to other circumnavigators? 371 00:37:17,887 --> 00:37:20,640 It's Christmas. I forgot it's Christmas. 372 00:37:20,807 --> 00:37:24,117 - Just back in time. - In time to send my cards. 373 00:37:25,687 --> 00:37:29,043 In time to shop. I thought I'd just miss all that. 374 00:37:36,327 --> 00:37:40,559 I want to tell the world - i've just Come back from Venice, Athens, 375 00:37:40,727 --> 00:37:43,161 Cairo, Bombay, Hong Kong, Shanghai! 376 00:37:43,327 --> 00:37:46,603 I've sailed the Corinth Canal, Crossed the Yangtse! 377 00:37:46,767 --> 00:37:49,520 Just let me tell you about it, please! 378 00:38:00,887 --> 00:38:03,003 These people don't know about me. 379 00:38:03,167 --> 00:38:07,797 They don't know i've eaten snake, Driven across Arabia in a weekend. 380 00:38:07,967 --> 00:38:09,320 Doesn't it show? 381 00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:16,162 That's England for you. There isn't a country In the world less easy to impress. 382 00:38:22,207 --> 00:38:23,720 Tickets, please. 383 00:38:23,887 --> 00:38:25,684 One to Ipswich, please. 384 00:38:25,847 --> 00:38:27,724 One to Ipswich, sir? 385 00:38:31,127 --> 00:38:32,685 Single? 386 00:38:34,527 --> 00:38:37,280 Thank you. What time do we get to Ipswich? 387 00:38:37,447 --> 00:38:42,760 That's... Er... I'm not sure. It's a 25-minute run. 388 00:38:44,687 --> 00:38:49,886 We're going to be in on time. Arrival... 13.20, we'll be there. 389 00:38:50,047 --> 00:38:53,562 - Time for a sleep, then. - Yes. 390 00:39:35,247 --> 00:39:37,841 This is stretching out the agony. 391 00:39:38,007 --> 00:39:41,283 The clock ticks on And I'm still only at Ipswich. 392 00:39:49,407 --> 00:39:55,357 (TANN0Y) The 13.40 London service will call At Colchester and London Liverpool Street. 393 00:39:55,527 --> 00:40:01,238 Change at Colchester for Chelmsford, Shenfield and Romford. 394 00:40:36,327 --> 00:40:40,798 I can't get lunch on the train As the chef has not turned up, 395 00:40:40,967 --> 00:40:43,401 But they serve me tea a few hours early. 396 00:40:43,567 --> 00:40:46,001 There's no better way to see Britain 397 00:40:46,167 --> 00:40:50,399 Than over afternoon tea With a view from a train. 398 00:40:58,887 --> 00:41:02,118 Liverpool Street Station in London. 399 00:41:02,287 --> 00:41:06,963 With the end in sight, I suddenly feel all my energies flagging. 400 00:41:09,327 --> 00:41:10,646 Maybe it's the tea. 401 00:41:10,807 --> 00:41:15,756 Maybe it's the shock of somewhere so busy After eight days on the Atlantic. 402 00:41:15,927 --> 00:41:19,886 But I'm aware of that atmosphere Of underlying tension 403 00:41:20,047 --> 00:41:22,515 Most city dwellers don't even notice. 404 00:41:29,927 --> 00:41:34,478 As we pull into Bank Station, A harsh voice triggers my worst fears. 405 00:41:34,647 --> 00:41:37,798 (MUFFLED ANNOUNCEMENT) 406 00:41:37,967 --> 00:41:40,197 Please stay on the train. 407 00:41:40,367 --> 00:41:45,487 Would passengers Be kind enough to stay on the train? 408 00:41:45,647 --> 00:41:49,606 Do not leave the platform level. 409 00:41:50,207 --> 00:41:53,244 A suspect package Has been found on the station. 410 00:41:53,407 --> 00:41:55,716 This can't be happening! 411 00:41:55,887 --> 00:41:58,003 Stay on the train, please. 412 00:42:03,407 --> 00:42:06,638 As the doors close And we move away from the station, 413 00:42:06,807 --> 00:42:10,641 I fancy I can hear above me The galloping of Fogg's hansom cab 414 00:42:10,807 --> 00:42:13,162 And the light sound of laughter. 415 00:42:42,047 --> 00:42:43,719 At Oxford Circus Station, 416 00:42:43,887 --> 00:42:48,403 I mount what I pray will be the last Set of steps before the Reform Club. 417 00:42:48,567 --> 00:42:52,719 I decide to buy a newspaper As proof of my date of arrival. 418 00:42:54,367 --> 00:42:56,119 Paper, please. 419 00:42:56,287 --> 00:42:59,484 No! Not until you get that off! 420 00:42:59,647 --> 00:43:02,559 He's only photographing me, not you. 421 00:43:02,727 --> 00:43:05,400 Paper? Oh, it's good to be back in England, 422 00:43:05,567 --> 00:43:10,163 Where people are so friendly And jolly and co-operative and polite (!) 423 00:43:11,447 --> 00:43:16,840 What is happening? This is my home, Yet I feel like a stranger in a foreign land! 424 00:43:17,007 --> 00:43:20,556 Are these sour, surly faces my countrymen? 425 00:43:20,727 --> 00:43:24,845 The generosity, curiosity and helpfulness I've had world-wide 426 00:43:25,007 --> 00:43:26,963 Seems to have run out here. 427 00:43:27,127 --> 00:43:28,879 Maybe it's just Christmas, 428 00:43:29,047 --> 00:43:32,164 The season of long queues and short tempers. 429 00:43:32,327 --> 00:43:33,726 Try again. 430 00:43:37,767 --> 00:43:43,319 Hello. You won't believe this, but i've just Come back from 80 days around the world, 431 00:43:43,487 --> 00:43:48,561 And, not only have I got no English money, Which I hope you can change for me, 432 00:43:48,727 --> 00:43:55,678 But I'd also, if you could, ask you to Corroborate the date on your sign there. 433 00:43:55,847 --> 00:43:57,599 What is the date today? 434 00:43:57,767 --> 00:44:01,362 - 12th December. - 12th December? You say that on oath? 435 00:44:01,527 --> 00:44:03,722 - I would. - OK, thank you. 436 00:44:03,887 --> 00:44:06,003 It may help in this cynical world. 437 00:44:06,167 --> 00:44:10,718 December 12th is all I need to know. The 13th would have been my 80th day. 438 00:44:10,887 --> 00:44:14,880 December 12th. I wasn't throwing my voice, You heard him! 439 00:44:17,127 --> 00:44:21,279 I seriously wonder if I can survive The last few hundred yards. 440 00:44:21,447 --> 00:44:24,007 My past life begins to flash before me. 441 00:45:51,167 --> 00:45:55,240 I've done it. Suddenly, there they are across Pall Mall, 442 00:45:55,407 --> 00:45:59,605 The welcoming lights Of my final destination, the Reform Club. 443 00:46:00,927 --> 00:46:04,203 But, like the jolly lights of Regent Street, 444 00:46:04,367 --> 00:46:06,722 They are to prove sadly deceptive. 445 00:46:13,887 --> 00:46:18,881 This is the Reform Club and this is where Phileas Fogg started his journey, 446 00:46:19,047 --> 00:46:23,245 This is where I began my journey On September 25th, 1988, 447 00:46:23,407 --> 00:46:25,762 79 days and seven hours ago. 448 00:46:25,927 --> 00:46:30,284 For reasons of their own, the club Do not want me to film in there today, 449 00:46:30,447 --> 00:46:36,317 So I have to say this is the end Of the journey on the pavement outside. 450 00:46:36,487 --> 00:46:38,000 That's it. 451 00:46:38,847 --> 00:46:42,601 Well, it isn't quite it. The BBC are still open. 452 00:46:42,767 --> 00:46:46,123 Someone there might be pleased to see me. 453 00:46:47,047 --> 00:46:50,244 I don't think we're really on film At the moment (!) 454 00:46:50,407 --> 00:46:54,320 Let's hope Mike arrives soon, So they will pan round and see us. 455 00:46:54,487 --> 00:46:56,762 Hey, it's... It's... MICHAEL! 456 00:46:59,167 --> 00:47:01,522 Good to see you! 457 00:47:03,927 --> 00:47:06,760 Nice to be here amongst friends! 458 00:47:09,287 --> 00:47:11,084 Calm down, everybody! 459 00:47:11,247 --> 00:47:14,956 Let's just have a check for corroboration. The date is? 460 00:47:15,127 --> 00:47:18,278 - Yours says the 15th. It's wrong. - The 12th. 461 00:47:18,447 --> 00:47:20,915 - The 12th! - We have the 12th, yes. 462 00:47:21,087 --> 00:47:22,884 Thank you very much. 463 00:47:23,047 --> 00:47:25,436 Where's Terry? 464 00:47:31,207 --> 00:47:36,042 Indian roofing tile. I got that off the top of a station toilet. 465 00:47:36,207 --> 00:47:39,722 Somewhere in central... China. Chinese tile! 466 00:47:39,887 --> 00:47:42,640 - Dung? - Probably originally, yes. 467 00:47:42,807 --> 00:47:45,321 Yes, the Dung Dynasty. 468 00:47:49,847 --> 00:47:52,236 Simon, you have got... 469 00:47:52,407 --> 00:47:55,160 An astrology chart! 470 00:47:55,327 --> 00:47:58,524 Yes, "Simon and Phyllida's Astrological Chart". 471 00:47:58,687 --> 00:48:03,556 It was a guy we spoke to in Bombay And I asked him, amongst other things, 472 00:48:03,727 --> 00:48:05,922 "What's in the future for me?" 473 00:48:06,087 --> 00:48:09,363 And he said, "You will be going round the world." 474 00:48:14,287 --> 00:48:17,006 This was on Day 30, or something. 475 00:48:17,167 --> 00:48:20,079 I said, "What will it be like? Any trouble?" 476 00:48:28,287 --> 00:48:32,963 "Oh, no, it will go smoothly. You will get there with a day to spare." 477 00:48:33,127 --> 00:48:36,961 So, Michael, what has it been like Hiding in a broom cupboard, 478 00:48:37,127 --> 00:48:39,516 At the BBC for 80 days? 479 00:48:39,687 --> 00:48:43,282 I've run out of ad libs. Can we stop? It's been a long day! 480 00:48:43,447 --> 00:48:47,326 Can we stop filming? Thank you.