This is the skyline of beautiful downtown Nome - the first city on our journey.
Nome, Alaska.
A place of bars, booze...
...and Eskimo trinkets at the Arctic stores.
"Mummy, why are these two stuck together?"
I'm going along the coast from Nome to see a very sad sight -
an abandoned gold-rush railway,
known and billed as a tourist attraction called "The Last Train to Nowhere".
This is nowhere.
That's a bit more of nowhere.
Cue, Michael.
And here, abandoned in the Arctic tundra, is the train.
Take a picture of it. You never know... Virgin may want to buy it.
Sad, really. These were actually built for the New York Elevated Railway in 1882.
They were going to run through New York, and they end up in Alaska, rotting, never used.
Actually, they're rotting quite slowly. Hello?
Excuse me? We've brought the railway line.
Sorry we're late.
Here, on the island of Kodiak, off the Alaskan coast,
fishing is, as you can tell, the big industry.
I try my hand, along with Filipino seasonal workers,
at one of the factories that processes the fish.
This is the "slime line".
It's dangerous work.
I feared I might never be able to pick my nose again.
A nasty one there.
A whole new meaning to fish fingers.
Excuse me? Toilet?
This is one of the most haunting and haunted places I've ever visited.
It's Butugychag - a gulag that closed in 1953
in the Kolyma region of Siberia.
I'm here with a survivor who was once imprisoned here, Ivan Ilych Yakovlev.
As soon as we get there, he tosses sweets around
as a memorial to all the deceased comrades.
Is that one for all the people who died here?
This is a prison within a prison. What would you have done to end up somewhere like this?
(TRANSLAT0R) For the smallest transgression
the authorities would put you in here.
It didn't have to be a big thing at all.
Did anybody try to escape?
(INTERPRETER TRANSLATES)
Several people tried to escape, but...
he didn't hear if anybody succeed.
Nature didn't allow to escape.
I'd like to ask Ivan what daily life was like in a place like this.
Could you ask him what time people started work and how long they worked for?
(TRANSLAT0R) We used to get up at six in the morning.
We had up to seven to wash, do our toilet, take our breakfast and go to work.
We would assemble at the camp gates.
We marched out in a column and worked for 10 to 12 hours.
What's this supposed to do to your body?
Well, my body. Does this improve your health?
This is Igor Nosov - the late Igor Nosov, sadly - our guide in Russia.
...mosquitoes bringing rare diseases. How does it improve your health?
And we're in hot springs in the open air not far from Petropavlovsk in Siberia.
This was one of the best picnics I've ever had.
Everything seemed to be flavoured with vodka.
Not that that was why I enjoyed it. Just look at that salmon.
Not that. That's a man.
(RUSSIAN SINGING ON TAPE)
A glimpse of hotel life near Petropavlovsk,
where I'm practising the song I'm going to sing with the Russian Pacific Fleet.
This is a ryokan - a traditional Japanese inn - on Sado island.
This is Mamasan, who makes sure that everything is right. Very Japanese.
I've got it all wrong. What is she going to do?
Dressing on the wrong side again.
Yes, I see. Oh, right. On the hips. On the hips, yes.
Don't usually wear my belt there.
I see. Aah!
Yes. Oh. Instant fat loss.
Little does she know I'm going to the bathroom to take all this off again.
Good. In a little bow.
(DOOR OPENS)
OK. Lovely.
Thank you. It's in here. I see.
Yup. Lovely. Thank you. Thanks very much.
The bathroom contains one of the most modern, extraordinary, up-to-date
and multifaceted toilets I've ever, ever sat on.
It has many, many settings -
most of them in Japanese.
0h, well...
Might as well have a try.
Better have a dry run of this, see how it all works.
A bit of high technology. Lots of fittings there. Let me see.
I can't see even what flush is. It's all in Japanese... Oh!
As soon as you sit on it, the seat is warm.
There's something here which says "shower". I don't want to press shower.
- (WATER FLOWS) - Ah! Ooh! Oh, dear.
That should come out from where it says "bidet". Let's press "bidet".
That's gone a bit quiet. Nothing's happened.
It's got "shower - one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!"
Ten goes. So let us stop. So I'll try "shower ten".
Wait. There's a pause.
Part of the hospitality in the ryokan is a most superb meal.
This was at the end of a long day's filming, which started at five -
filming the Kodo drummers exercising.
It was nearly nine o'clock when this was being prepared
and I could see the crew standing there slavering with hunger.
Oh, I'm still on this lot. Please, it's all going too fast for me, Mamasan.
Mamasan was relentless.
A small snack consisting merely of seafood with garlic,
bream, tuna and squid sashimi,
seaweed, cooked vegetables with bean curd,
abalone steak in soy sauce,
fried sea bream served whole with head and tail curved upwards,
teriyaki of tuna stomach, rice pickles, bean paste and four kinds of sake.
...contrasted one with another.
Yes, I've finished that. That is absolutely five-star. Really good.
I shall look in my book and see what I should say.
(SPEAKS JAPANESE)
- It's "I have a motorbike." - This bone. Careful.
The bone. Careful in the throat? Yes. There's a lot here.
Still they come.
Think you're allowed rice?
No sooner said than done. Beautiful timing.
I was just wondering where the rice had gone.
I'll eat that in January. I'll have that one in February.
- Thank you. - Miso soup.
0h, miso soup. I forgot that.
I do recommend Mamasan to anyone who goes to Sado Island.
Absolutely superb.
But I warn you, the walls of the ryokan are wafer thin.
- Rice. - Right. Lovely.
Is that all?
In England, we just stick everything on one plate.
Veg there, meat there, gravy there. That's it.
Still, made us great, you know. Thank you.
Thanks very much.
For a bit, anyway.
Get on with it, Mr Creosote.
This rather medical shot shows me at work in the typical Japanese bath.
The system here is that you wash yourself thoroughly before getting into the water.
It's called an o-furo.
The water is very, very hot and very, very clear
and you mustn't get any soap or dirt in it,
so you have your bath and then get into the bath... 0h, I sayl
Nigel was very insistent that I kept my arms over certain BBC1 places.
Can't show those on BBC1. Can show bits on BBC2 and everything on Channel 4.
You were like the Beatles...
From Sado Island on the west coast of Japan to Tokyo.
And here is my guide, Mayumi Nobetsu,
who, believe it or not, is my number one Japanese fan.
You were my hero and then now here you are.
I need all the help I can get.
Fans always follow pop groups, but comedy's very different.
You don't get fans following comedians
because we're against the powerful and the worshipped.
We tend to take the underdog view. Anyway...
I worshipped you anyway. I put your pictures on the wall and "Michael!" like this.
- What pictures? - Your pictures you sent me.
- Did I send you pictures? - Sure.
And I stole the posters from the movie theatres.
It was you who spoiled our chances of being movie stars in Japan!
Why didn't our films work in Japan? "A Fish Called Wanda" didn't even do well.
Well, they have a different sense of humour in Japan.
They don't really appreciate a satirical sense of humour.
They don't send themselves up? We weren't...
That's what Python was doing, I suppose. We could laugh at what we saw around us.
But the Japanese must do that occasionally, mustn't they?
Finally, it's starting to be appreciated, but not at the time when I was 13.
(CHANTING AND BELLS)
You may wonder what I'm doing in the back of a shop in Nagasaki at 5.35 in the morning.
I certainly am.
But the Japanese, with their usual generous hospitality,
have offered me a place to take part in this big festival they have here.
It is the big festival of the year called Okunchi.
Enormous floats are taken through the streets and whizzed around.
It's a bit like asking a Japanese to appear in the Royal Tournament the day he arrives.
They've been practising for a long time to get this right.
So I don't quite know what I'm going to do in it.
I'm assured it will be a low-level job, carrying a flag.
- It's mine. - It's yours?
- Eight years ago. - Eight years ago.
You were a lithe, slim... It's very kind of you.
This is Mr...
This is Mr Takashi, who's going to be my companion for the day.
You're going to help me in the procession and tell me what to do.
Thank you. You have a bit of a smile on your face. I'm not sure I altogether trust you.
0h, dear. My two toes revealed.
Let's put the other one on and then we can do the doing-up, which will take a while.
I think they fit all right.
The great thing in Japan - everything has to be just so and absolutely right.
You can't just get away with a pair of old Timberlands.
Here is the 0kunchiparade.
Mr Takashi and myself are part of the Treasure House float.
We're almost at the shrine.
And now there's a bit of a hold-up
because each float has to go into the ring and do its half-hour entertainment,
and we're on at about 8.30, I'm told.
The tension mounts behind stage.
I'm not sure about tension, but something's surely mounting.
I hope you notice I'm a tall person in Japan.
That's all right. Don't worry, lads. I'll take over now.
"It's A Knockout" had nothing on this.
See what you miss if you don't have DVD.
(APPLAUSE)
Not quite sure why they had to take it downstairs. 0bviously no lift.
Another glimpse of hotel life. Checking in at a magnificent hotel in Chongqing,
one of China's largest cities.
A real example here of the building boom that gripped China at the time.
Unfortunately, the boom didn't extend as far as my room.
This is a train journey that I'd love to have included.
0ne of the most picturesque parts of China.
It's the ride from Guiyang to Nanning - 24 hours on the train -
towards the border with Vietnam.
Lady engine driver, I hope you notice.
Evidence of the Chinese "economic miracle" everywhere.
And, of course, the best thing that doesn't change in China is food.
Look. This is a Chinese Wanshi.
- Cooking is different in different regions? - Oh, yes.
- Gan bei. - Gan bei.
Gan bei means cheers.
What's the Chinese concept or idea of Western food?
In fact, they've really never tasted real Western food,
so they don't know what Western food is.
According to my knowledge, they don't like foreign food at all.
- Why not? - Because it's so simple.
One main course, that's it. And one soup.
(MICHAEL'S COMPANION) In China, the food is very important.
- Especially for peasants. - Yeah.
If they can eat well, it means they have a really good life.
I think that's their thinking.
(MICHAEL) I know some people in the West are rather appalled by what the Chinese eat,
that they'll cook anything.
- Is that true? - Yeah.
- Like what? - Like dogs, cats...
And snacks. Is that snakes or snacks? Snakes.
Snakes. You could have a snake snack.
And, oh.
And the big mountain rats.
- Rats? Really? - I never taste that.
People told me they're very tasty.
I do promise you no snakes were eaten in the making of this film.
Here I am on the shores of the Yangtze River.
Just about to do a walking shot and someone chats me up.
It's wonderful how chatty people are.
Very tall.
Yes. So little.
It is comedy, you know. I've got to walk on the boat. See you later. Bye.
The gorge you can see there is called the Little Gorges of the Danning River.
These are some of the most beautiful parts of the Yangtze
and all will be submerged beneath about 300-400 feet of water
when the Yangtze dam fills up.
Here I am with Victor, my guide.
...the Yangtze is very muddy.
Because the tiny river is very clean
because it originates from underground water - spring water.
So it's very clear.
Also, it's quite dangerous. Are there rapids up here?
Yeah. On the Danning River, there are many rapids.
Victor had a wonderful way of speaking English.
0ne time I pointed out a dog on the side of the river. He said, "Good. Good imagination."
Feast on these pictures because it probably doesn't look like that now.
We were there in '96. The dam's already begun filling up.
Chinese tourists getting one last glimpse of one of their prettiest gorges.
Victor points out something that shows people have lived here for many hundreds of years -
a wooden coffin up on the cliff face.
(VICTOR)... and put into that cave.
In the small yellow cliff, there are two holes, and the wooden coffin is in the big hole.
I can see it inside. That's a wooden coffin.
That's a wooden coffin.
Have they found a body in there?
A local farmer in the 1970s found it.
In the 1970s. How old is the coffin? How many years will it have been there?
- Two thousand years ago. - Two thousand years it's been up there.
Having reached Vietnam from China, the first port of call is Hanoi,
where we tried to film a cricket match.
That was brought to an abrupt halt.
And to complete our day, we went down to the boating lake.
I took my turn on a dragon pedalo.
Nothing to it, really.
Hello!
What ship are you?
Ah, number three. I'm 34. Watch out.
You want money? I've spent my money on the boat. I have no money.
Oh! Aah!
"Who is that lunatic?" they're saying.
"We like the cameraman. He's much more handsome."
0h, he's still at it.
Which way to the sea? We are a seafaring nation, you know.
Goodbye! Goodbye!
- Is that made in Vietnam? - No.
I don't speak the local languages, so I just speak English rather clearly to them.
Actually, it works here. That's my little black notebook.
They're very interested in trying to speak English.
When you think we were fighting against them in the 1960s,
they're remarkably forgiving and uncomplicated
about their eagerness to enjoy a lunatic Englishman.
I don't do pictures. I'll do words. I'll describe you.
"Small..."
Yes. "Can't sit on saddle."
Colour of shirt? You know what those are in English?
Ships. It's like a ship.
So I've told you what that word is now. What is that?
- What's that word? Ships. - Ships.
You've got to be careful to get the P right at the end.
Yeah. Very smart shoes. Good shoes.
Beautiful shoes, aren't they? Let's see your shoes.
- Football? - Play football? Yeah. Yes, I play football.
Very good.
You play football? You play football?
- Yes. - Good.
- Vietnam have a football team? - Yes.
- Is it good? - Yes.
This is Zamboanga in the Philippines.
In the main series, we included coverage of a cock fight,
but we didn't see my visit here to the cock farm,
run by one of the great owners - Boy Primalion.
He put me up on this extraordinary farm for the night.
Wasn't the most comfortable I ever spent.
Thanks very much. One last thing, can you give me an early-morning call?
Yes, I'll do that.
(CACOPHONY OF CROWING)
I've never been woken by so many... since I was in the army.
Oh, shut up!
Darwin, Australia.
I just had to leave the hotel I was in. Don't know why. It just didn't feel right.
Think it could be the owner.
So you'll drop me off in Katherine? It's on your way?
- Yep. No worries. - I appreciate that.
- Take me to New Zealand if you like! - Bit hard to get across there.
Here, I'm trying to get a ride from Darwin to the town of Katherine.
I board what's called a road train. Scott was the driver.
Lazy Lady was the truck - a lazy but very large lady.
Can you remember the first time you took one out?
There's 50 metres of trailer behind you. It must have been utterly alarming.
You drive it like you drive a car.
You can't go jerking on the wheel or you'll take it all out of shape.
You've got to remember you've got 50 metres of trucks behind you.
At one point, I asked Scott whether he ever hit kangaroos.
"Yes, " he said. "You have to hit them straight on or they damage your bumper."
- You get used to it after a while. - Is it complicated, the gear system?
- Yes and no. This is an 18 speed. - 18?
What temperament do you need to be an ideal road-train driver?
Right. Some people say you've got to be mad to do it because you're never home.
- Never home? - Not much.
You do a lot of hours and a lot of work up and down the road.
It all depends what you call home. There's my home in the back.
- That's your home in there? - Yeah.
- Are you married? - Not yet.
I've been going out with Kate for a fair while now. About seven years.
- Hi. - Like to buy a ticket?
Here I am about to put my money on a cow pat.
This is the Compass Cup County Show, south of Adelaide.
I'm putting all my money, betting on where the cow will drop its load.
So it's two dollars? OK.
Ten dollars' worth. It shouldn't break me.
Covered my options there. So I had five squares.
What condition is the cow in? It's not constipated or anything?
- We hope not. - We just removed the cork.
OK. Thanks.
The tension mounts.
(COMMENTARY OVER TANNOY)
Ah, action. But nothing on my squares.
(ANNOUNCER) What a mess. Dearie me.
With one thing and another, it's a cow of a day and that's no bull.
Everyone thinks of New Zealand as a land of sheep and hobbits. True or false?
The thing they say about New Zealand is that it's full of sheep.
It's one of those silly myths.
There are sheep, you can see here, just on the edge of Auckland.
There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine...
There are sheep here, but there are other things in New Zealand. There are...
museums, art galleries, glaciers.
All sorts of things nothing to do with sheep and that's what I'll show you.
But I thought right at the beginning, these are the sheep.
Have a good laugh and that's the last we'll see of sheep.
There we are. New Zealand's only sheep-free zone.
Cowl Cowl Cowl Duckl Fishl
There are some things I love to do,
and some things I have to do because the director thinks it'll be good for my career.
This is one of the latter.
Appearing in a Polynesian fashion show.
"The Solomon Islands market is at your feet, Michael, " said Roger.
After a few drinks, I believed him.
Now there's no going back.
- Here he is. - Oh, there we are.
- We walk on holding these... - Basically, we're escorts for a bride.
So we walk on before her
and we stand either side of the stage facing each other.
She's gonna walk down, we cross these,
and when she comes down, we lift them up, they move through and we hold them up.
- Is that it? - Basically, that's it.
Yeah. It's not too much trouble.
- Is there any special stance? - No, not really.
Still, there were some birds around.
(WOLF WHISTLE)
(MICHAEL LAUGHS)
Why did I ever leave Monty Python?
(APPLAUSE)
Bad-hair day.
All right, lads. Form an orderly queue.
After this, I was briefly offered the part of Snow White
in a Christmas panto in Invercargill.
Extraordinary. 0n the banks of one of the Amazon tributaries, the Urubamba,
some interesting tourist goods on offer.
That's quite nice. Cuánto es?
Dos soles?
That's nice. Yes.
Ooh, yes. Mm. I certainly know about these.
Can I see the mask?
Look at that.
John Cleese. "Hello, miss." I'll have to get that for John.
He looks like that already. There's no point. Cuánto es?
Cinco?
Good way to see Valparaiso - a big seaport in Chile.
The ascensores. First built about 1853 and still going strong.
If a little slowly.
This is an even smaller vehicle,
which takes me out beyond Valparaiso to Viña del Mar.
Valparaiso's seaside suburb. Particularly quiet today, by the looks of things.
Nice.
Is this a major crossing point?
Until we put the fence out 340 feet in the water, it was a big crossing.
This is the "tortilla curtain" -
the border wall between Mexico on the left and the USA on the right.
Here to explain it is Ron Henley of US Border Control.
So most of the people that are coming across have their little sacks with them
and everything they own is in it.
They're usually wearing two sets of clothes, two pairs of pants,
so the sheer weight of trying to go round the fence with wet clothes would be a problem.
- Does anybody try and get across now? - You mean jumping the fence here? No.
We have a unit stationed here.
At one point this was a major problem for us, but it's not any more.
What if someone wanted to get a small boat and get round?
We encounter those sometimes.
But over there is a Coast Guard station that has a radar station with it.
This is part of the Pacific Ocean. This is very well patrolled -
with helicopters and boats - and the Border Patrol has a boat patrol.
So if we get an inclination that this is happening, we'll take steps to counter that.
They've got a couple of people they've taken into custody
and they're looking for one more.
What they do is just sit them on the ground and fan out until they find the other person.
- Could someone slip through this scrub? - Oh, yeah.
If they get in there, it's very difficult to find them.
Do you bring in helicopters?
At times. Evidently they don't really think they need a helicopter to find this person.
If we can't find them, we'll bring a helicopter in.
Do you have any other way of detecting people on the ground?
Yes, we do. All along the border fence, we have ground sensors that are seismic.
They'll have a range of about 15-20 yards
and, depending on the ground, when somebody walks on it, it sets vibrations off
and sends out a radio signal to our dispatcher who'll send agents to the scene.
- Just like he did in this case. - Are they right along the border?
Yes, they are. We have over 600 sensors in the ground.
What about the people on horseback here, just ordinary people using the trail?
We place these sensors in places where it's not trafficked by the normal populace.
- Are they pretty successful? - Couldn't do without them.
Sometimes we set 'em off ourselves.
But we know where all the sensors are, so when the dispatcher calls it out,
we'll say that that's a Border Patrol agent - we have a code for that.
We have two people in custody and we have another one that we're looking for.
- Is he or she probably lying down? - Yeah. They're pretty ingenious.
They'll crawl up in this thick brush and cover up.
When you say "them", do you mean men, women, children?
All the above. Yeah. Any type.
The mode of operation's the same. When we get after them, they hide.
- Do you have many children? - Not a lot.
But we've seen them as young as babies born a couple of months ago.
It's a pretty hard trek for all of them.
This is the centre where immigrants without papers
are rounded up and details taken.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
Persistent offenders may be imprisoned, but most of them are put back on the bus
and taken back to Mexico across the border.
Presumably to try again one day.
I think we took this out because it looked like a commercial break.
I am having a good time on the Pacific Coast Highway
in a Morgan sports car - not my own.
Driving up to one of the greatest examples of conspicuous consumption on this coast -
William Randolph Hearst's castle at San Simeon.
If Hearst wanted anything, he bought it.
Bits of Europe were shipped back from Spain, Italy and France
and reassembled on the shores of the Pacific.
It's a bit like our spare room at home.
Not a DVD in sight.
Ah. Bathroom.
Who needs travelling? Just bring it all home.
Farewell to the home of William Randolph Hearst's great fictional counterpart -
Citizen Kane.
And in Hollywood, a Python. Not sure which one.
This is dreadful. The naughty life. Now I know why you've moved to California.
- Have you moved to California? - I have.
- To get away from the other Pythons. - And they still follow me.
- Who's left? I can never remember. - Still alive?
There's the tall one who used to do the female impersonations.
Always liked being in drag. Did he put his hand on your knee?
- Hm? - Oh, nothing.
- Then the two little ones. - Both called Terry. All called Terry.
They would do most of the naked roles.
And most of the directing. It went together.
Bared their souls. Actually, you used to take your clothes off occasionally.
Not on screen, but when we were having writing meetings.
- I once played a naked batsman. That's all. - Very good.
Great to be here again. And there it is, look.
LA sinking away into the west.
- Drinking in the sunset. - Drinking away.
- It really is nice. - Have you got any questions?
Oh, crib sheet.
When... What are you doing at the moment?
How is Pythonline doing? Pythonline Network.
Is this a plug? We have a new thing called Pythonline.
Which is a website, a world-wide website - www.pythonline.com
If you dial that up on your little web browsers, you get Michael Palin.
He's written some funny things about him being the fattest Python.
Do we make money out of it? Enough to pay for this martini?
I think we'll make enough for the martini.
We've had two million hits and we've only been open three weeks.
It's nice to have been dead so long, but people are still...
We've been dead... Oh, we ran out.
So what's it like living in LA? Is it just?
It's constant razzle-dazzle, Michael.
I had Sharon Stone banging on my door, saying, "Let me in for a martini."
- It's hell, mate. - She wanted me for a part.
- Did she? - Yeah. Offered me a big part.
What was it? You were playing the gall opposite her Stone?
- "Life of Sharon", it was. The remake. - You were playing Tracy.
No, seriously. Should I move here, do you think?
Um... What, and give up your day job?
I don't know. I like it here. It's very...
People have this image of Hollywood and you spend all your time...
I live very quietly. I have a six-year-old daughter I take to school.
Here you are on a terrace drinking martini.
- You set this up! - Blame me!
"Eric, put on your best suit and come down to a hotel and be filmed," you said.
This is the first time I've been over the hill since we finished Python.
- Thank you very much. - Can you still remember those jokes?
I still remember some of your jokes.
I'm still constantly mistaken for you.
I'm mistaken for you, too. I mean, do we look at all alike?
Can people get this right? This is Eric and I'm Mike.
- No. That's Mike and I'm Eric. - Or am I John?
A bit of John. We've all got a bit of John in us. Ooh!
I'm giving away trade secrets!
I went on the "Tonight" show to announce I wasn't Mike.
I wore a T-shirt of you and said, "This is Mike and this is me." I still get mistaken.
This is one of your characters. This is Mr Gumby, who was invented by Mike.
This is the sequel T-shirt to the "My brain hurts!" T-shirt - "My friend's brain hurts!"
(GUMBY VOICE) My friend's brain hurts. My friend's brain hurts!
- Why they found that funny beats me! - It beats wit.
Noel Coward didn't need that stupid voice, did he?
Stanley Baldwin was funny without putting on a voice.
Neville Chamberlain - "I have peace in our time!"
Didn't need it. Just came off the plane and said, "Peace in our time."
Winston Churchill - "We'll fight them on the beaches!
"And in the fields... and on the terraces with a martini."
You should go round the world as Mr Gumby. The next voyage. Mr Gumby in Australia.
- Oh, dear. I'm enjoying this. - What a lovely performance.
It's not sophisticated on this rather smart balcony.
It's very popular, though.
It's nice that you're mistaken for me because you can go to all these premieres
and people say, "Michael Palin's doing well."
When I'm mistaken for you, because you're known as the nice one,
when people say, "Are you Michael Palin?" I'll say, "Yes, you bastard!"
- And get you a bad reputation. - This'll help me no end.
Toughen you up. You won't be mistaken for Gary Lineker.
Terry gets upset that I'm called the nice one. Terry's wife does.
She says, "My husband's very nice." Most of the Pythons are nice, apart from you.
In fact, he's over-nice. To a lot of people's wives!
Anyway, so maybe I won't stay in LA. You can be Michael Palin in LA.
- I'll be Michael Palin West. - I'll come here now and then.
Come through on various criss-crosses of the world
with this crew of yours assembled here.
- Keep Michael moving. - Can I ask you questions?
How long have you been on the road now?
Oh, well... Over nine months.
- My God. - I'll be giving birth any moment.
- Are you enjoying it? - Yes, I am enjoying it, yeah.
- Is it tough? - It's tough, but I enjoy it.
"No gain without pain", as we say on the unit. As the mosquitoes fly in.
I quite enjoyed suffering on the Python team. You were not very good at it.
I went to boarding school longer than you.
This'll probably be a waste of film. Let Nigel have the evening off.
- (MICHAEL) I feel my sense of comedy waning. - It's difficult to do reverses.
(MICHAEL) Why don't we do silly reverses? Me doing inapposite things. That would be funny.
- (ERIC) You could do the one... - Yes, officer. No, honestly.
(ERIC) Remember the one on "The Rutles" where I crossed the line?
(LAUGHTER)
(MICHAEL) All right. I'll just do uproarious laughter when the time comes. OK?
(LAUGHTER)
Nigel, you've blown it.
(ERIC) Maybe he has one in him. (MICHAEL) There's a bit of John in all of us.
(LAUGHTER)
(ERIC) Thank God for editing.
You look like Philip Jenkinson.
No. No, not really.
No, I know what you mean.