1 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,360 I'm approaching the city of Gdansk from the Baltic Sea. 2 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:48,840 This unremarkable stretch of waterway has seen two seismic events in recent history. 3 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:54,760 On September 1st 1939, World War II began over there on Westerplatte, 4 00:00:54,760 --> 00:01:00,200 when the German warship Schleswig-Holstein opened fire on the Polish garrison. 5 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:06,240 They held out very gamely, but within a matter of weeks, all of Poland was overrun. 6 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,800 By the end of the war, the Poles had lost 20% of their population, 7 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,640 a higher proportion than any other European country. 8 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:21,160 Even when the Nazis were finally driven out of Poland by Stalin's Red Army, 9 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,400 things didn't really get much better. 10 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,680 The Poles merely exchanged one tyranny for another. 11 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:33,400 So it went on through the '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s, until something quite remarkable happened 12 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:39,200 here at the Gdansk shipyards, not 10 minutes by small boat from where World War II began. 13 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,480 CHANTING 14 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:48,960 An electrician called Lech Walesa led a series of strikes 15 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,880 that were the beginning of the end of Communism in Europe. 16 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,760 Under the agreement that followed, 17 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:03,800 free trade unions became legal for the first time in any of the Soviet bloc countries. 18 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,680 The famous gates of what was then the Lenin Shipyard 19 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:12,000 are still decorated as they were in the days of defiance, 20 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:19,480 with the name of Walesa's union, Solidarity, and his inspiration, the Polish Pope John Paul II. 21 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,760 Lech Walesa helped maintain a fleet of electronic buggies like this one, 22 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,000 a job which kept him in contact with workers all over the yard. 23 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:37,160 The shipyards themselves, shorn of their socialist subsidies, later went bust. 24 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:41,680 They were bailed out, but the workforce today is a shadow of what it once was. 25 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:51,160 'I ask the manager if there's still a sense of pride about what happened here.' 26 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,800 What do the workforce here today think about Lech Walesa? 27 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,280 Well, they are very proud, 28 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,080 knowing that Mr Walesa was for a long time 29 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,200 employed here in Gdansk shipyard 30 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:11,600 and he was trying to help afterwards while being a president of Poland, for example. 31 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:18,640 And they still have good links, knowing some friendships were still maintained. 32 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,520 Do they regard him as a good president? 33 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,080 Definitely, yes. Yeah, yeah. 34 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:29,920 Gdansk, reduced to rubble in the war, has been restored to its former glories, 35 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,800 and ex-President Walesa has been granted a grace and favour office 36 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,440 in this imposing former royal residence. 37 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,320 It's here that he's agreed to see me. 38 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:48,080 Few living Europeans are as illustrious as Lech Walesa. 39 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:54,120 Married to Danuta, eight children, loves computers, has a Nobel Prize, an airport named after him, 40 00:03:54,120 --> 00:04:00,560 a daughter doing well in Poland's Celebrity Come Dancing, is serious and hates small talk. 41 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,880 Mr President, what is the best thing about your life now? 42 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:14,800 TRANSLATION: The best things are good food, good wine and women. 43 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,880 But I must remember that I am 63. 44 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,760 So I have to watch myself. 45 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,400 Well, I'd like to say I'm 63 and much inspired! 46 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:39,000 Remember what Churchill said, "The things we like are either immoral or bad for us." 47 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:45,520 Comparing Poland then and now, what has improved? 48 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:57,240 It depends how you look at it, how you look at the benefits. 49 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:01,960 For me, the main benefits are freedom and democracy, 50 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:06,400 that people can travel freely, 51 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,320 that you can go to church. 52 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,280 That I can be president. 53 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,160 Anyone can become president. 54 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:22,800 I think that these things are worth dying for, but there are other people. 55 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,720 For them, the important thing is jobs... 56 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,400 ..how much money they have. 57 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,960 They see the benefit in a different light from me. 58 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,640 Trade made Gdansk rich. 59 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:51,360 It shows in the harmonious grace of its Dutch-influenced squares. 60 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:57,840 Down by the canal, the largest medieval crane in Europe still stands, but no longer lifts. 61 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,080 An hour's drive away and I'm at another waterfront. 62 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:15,040 This is Elblag, equally war-battered but less well restored than Gdansk. 63 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:20,960 It's the starting point for what is to be a most remarkable journey on the Elblag-Ostroda Canal. 64 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,040 Our boat is called Labedz, the Swan. 65 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:41,080 It's functional rather than elegant and Ugly Duckling might have been better. 66 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:50,400 Either would be quite suitable as we make our way through a nature reserve of marsh and woodland 67 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,240 that's a haven for birdwatchers. 68 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,720 Oh. He's found one. 69 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:16,640 The canal opened in 1872, just before the railway that took away most of its trade. 70 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,920 It has to cope with a rise of 360 feet from one end to the other. 71 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:28,200 The engineers solved the problem in a most spectacular way. 72 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:40,000 As we enter the lock, the Swan slides into an underwater cradle. 73 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,720 In an engine-room built beside the canal, 74 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:53,280 mighty wheels are slowly powered into action which turn a drive wheel, 75 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,440 which turns a cable, which will slowly draw the boat, 76 00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:01,360 secure in its watery hammock, out of the water and up the hill. 77 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,600 This is pretty remarkable 78 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:20,200 because we've been dragged out of the canal onto dry land. 79 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,800 It's not a lock system, it's a slipway system. 80 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,720 Basically, the boat has to be raised 100 metres in the course of the canal 81 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:32,040 and this is one of these locks and I've never seen anything quite like this, 82 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,840 so instead of just being in a water lock, you are actually taken out of the water and up the hill. 83 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:25,560 What amazes me is that no one bats an eyelid at the sight of a boat going up a hill. 84 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,440 Well, it has been doing this for a 140 years, I suppose. 85 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,840 Once over the hill, we're eased gently back into the water. 86 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:10,000 This whole wonderful Heath Robinson process will happen four more times before they reach Ostroda. 87 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:16,960 Amazing. We've come over the hill, the rails have led us up and we're now back in the water again. 88 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,640 We have ceased to be a railway. 89 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,640 We're now a boat again. 90 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,200 Extraordinary! 91 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:29,720 Really delightful, if cumbersome machinery. 92 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,680 Raised above the countryside. 93 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,960 I'm not going all the way to the end as I have to be back in Elblag 94 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,080 for a professional engagement. 95 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,680 With a top cabaret! 96 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:50,760 Well, this could be another career break. I've been asked by a group called Ani Mru Mru. 97 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:55,600 They are a Polish group. They're very popular, very successful. Ani Mru Mru means, "Shh!" 98 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,760 Don't worry, or something like that, which I quite like. 99 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:03,480 Anyway, they know of Python. They know I'm in town and asked me to come and do a small part. 100 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,040 I'll do my best. 101 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,640 I'm rushed to wardrobe to discuss my costume with one of the stars. 102 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,560 What do you think? Shorts? 103 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:22,720 Yes, it's very nice. Yeah, I knew they would come in useful somewhere on my trip to Poland. 104 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,040 Yeah, they're very nice, those. OK. And what with the... 105 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:30,000 From Milan or... From Milan, yes, especially with that... 106 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,560 Jean-Paul Gaultier. Jean-Paul Gaultier. 107 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,200 It's like a codpiece coming out of your hip. 108 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:39,840 Yeah, it looks like it. Kooky? Yeah, kind of weird, anyway. 109 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:47,160 When you do these shows, is the humour satirical? I mean, what makes the audience laugh? 110 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,200 You never know. It's like... 111 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,040 Well, you know Monty Python, you must have seen it. Yeah, I know it. 112 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,920 Lots of people in Poland know you cos of Monty Python. 113 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,080 I'm now joining a Polish group. 114 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,240 So there, Cleese, Idle, Jones and the other one! 115 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,520 I've been given the role of a five-year-old boy, 116 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:13,200 a big test for any method actor. 117 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,120 Oh dear! 118 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,520 I still can't decide. 119 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,120 That's too grown up, that's too silly. 120 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,560 I suppose silly's what it's all about. 121 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,240 Oh dear! 122 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,480 Maybe... I don't know. 123 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,360 HE SPEAKS IN POLISH 124 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:54,240 Anyway, darlings, if you'd just give me a moment. Give me a moment. 125 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,680 Just give me a moment. Yes. 126 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,120 I'm ready. 127 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:08,640 The sketch is a satire on pop stars who use sweet little children in their act. 128 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,280 HE SINGS IN POLISH 129 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,880 I've modelled my performance on the theme of over-excitement... 130 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,480 ..and incontinence. 131 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,600 Fortunately, I don't know the Polish for "get off!" 132 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,320 Michael Palin! 133 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 134 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,120 I hung around in Elblag for a while, but the phone didn't ring. 135 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,600 So I'm off to Warsaw. 136 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,560 Warsaw, the Polish capital, will be the mid-point of my journey, 137 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:34,840 before carrying on to Poznan, then south to Krakow and the Slovakian border. 138 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,120 Warsaw suffered dreadfully in World War II. 139 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:55,000 In his fury at the uprising of 1944, Hitler ordered the city removed from the map. 140 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,520 Over 800,000 citizens died or disappeared. 141 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:02,800 After the war, Poland's capital was rebuilt by the Communists. 142 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:23,120 'Stalin gave this Palace of Culture to the Poles to show how much they meant to the USSR.' 143 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,360 Did you want it? 144 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:29,040 Apparently, he gave us a choice - "You either get a Metro system or a palace of culture." 145 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:33,560 We said, "Oh, can we have the Metro, please"? He said, "OK, I'll give you the palace." 146 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,800 That's how it started. 147 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,200 'Perverse. My guide is Polish journalist, Monica Richardson.' 148 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:43,560 It sort of plonks itself down right in the middle of the city like some alien creature. 149 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,240 Like a scar. Absolutely. 150 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,160 It does cut the city right in half. 151 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:57,040 When you look out at your city from here, do you find it a little grey? 152 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,120 Do you think it's a beautiful city? 153 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:03,600 No, it's not a beautiful city. But it's a working city. I have a lot of respect for it. 154 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,840 It's a good, down to earth city of people who have busy lives. 155 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:12,280 Yes. You get a great view of the city without having to see the Palace of Culture. 156 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,440 I suppose in that way, it's kind of... It's a blessing in disguise. 157 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:20,320 It's better being in it than being out there looking at it. Absolutely. It's an awful place. 158 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,680 Well, it's got a certain grandeur. 159 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:28,800 An edifice like this brings to mind some form of architectural imperialism, 160 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,920 plonked down to dominate the subjugated people. 161 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:37,840 Very true, but it's become a symbol of Warsaw, whether we're happy about this or not, 162 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,080 just like the fact that Warsaw is such an old new city. 163 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,240 An old new city? Yes, that's a good way of seeing it. 164 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,600 Kind of like an Eiffel Tower in a sense, it's on all the postcards. 165 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,040 Love it or loathe it. 166 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,320 This is the Congress Hall. 167 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:57,600 This is where the Communist Party would have its congresses every so many years, 168 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,840 just to explain to people why things hadn't turned out quite as beautifully as they were going to. 169 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,080 All of the delegates would be sitting here from all over Poland 170 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:10,440 and the leaders would be up the top there, talking for hours on end, 171 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:15,480 with people sort of dozing away as it's all televised live for days and days. 172 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,720 The irony is that people like Bob Dylan have come and performed here now. 173 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,320 I'm sure they knew nothing about the history of this place. 174 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,000 It reflects the history. Of course, a few days ago, 175 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:32,760 Miss World took place on the same stage that the fiery communist leaders were giving their rhetoric. 176 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,240 How bizarre! What would Stalin make of that? 177 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,840 I'm sure he's turning in his grave. Oh, that would make a sound. 178 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:44,160 That would be a sort of 10.6 on the Richter scale - Stalin turning in his grave. 179 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:48,320 NEWSREEL: Left in the wake of the onrushing Reds is the ruined city of Warsaw, 180 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:52,000 scene of an indescribable five-year reign of terror. 181 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,480 But at last, the exiled population, those still alive, 182 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,600 are able to return to the shells of their former homes. 183 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,280 For once more, the Polish flag flies over Warsaw. 184 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,920 It's remarkable that this was rebuilt after the war. 185 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:15,280 It was complete rubble. This has been built in my lifetime, rather than 300 years ago. 186 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:20,800 Yes, it was rebuilt to the exact specifications of the way it had been in the 18th century, 187 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,240 rather than directly after the war. 188 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,960 For some reason, the architects decided that the 18th century 189 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,880 was when the old town in Warsaw was at its biggest glory, the highest glory. 190 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,480 That's how they did it. But in a sense, it's completely artificial. 191 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,720 But it was supposed to be very beautiful, wasn't it? People compared it with Paris. 192 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,120 Yes. Around here is really lovely. 193 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,720 Actually, it's a testimony to the amazing efforts of those people 194 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:50,880 who, in 1945-46, decided to actually keep this the capital of Poland. 195 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,760 It wasn't, if you think about it, all that obvious at all. 196 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,600 85% of it was in rubble. 197 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,240 Do you think that places like this, these squares, 198 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,480 that have been beautifully restored, 199 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:08,760 is that sort of helping to remind Poland of a past, a golden past? 200 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:13,440 After all, there was a time when Poland was a big player in Europe, 201 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,800 much bigger than Russia or Germany. 202 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,720 Do people hark back to that? 203 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:22,520 No. I think I can see where you're coming from asking that question, 204 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:28,920 but no, I don't think we've got any illusions of grandeur past or present or future dreams of it. 205 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,760 I think we just want to be taken seriously, 206 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,400 as a nation that's a force in Europe, 207 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,920 as a nation that's got a fantastic history to it, 208 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,600 as a brave nation that however has something to offer here and now, 209 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:47,160 rather than being a martyr for generations and generations. 210 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,920 Plenty of Poles have come to work in the UK. 211 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,720 But I'm off to meet an Englishman who's happier working in Poland. 212 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,200 He's a cockney called Kevin Aiston. 213 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,560 He came here 15 years ago, without a visa, doing whatever jobs he could find 214 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,000 and picking up the language along the way. 215 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,960 He's ended up in the Polish fire brigade. 216 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:14,720 When I got the hang of the Polish language and I felt confident enough, 217 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:19,480 I knocked on the doors of the Polish fire brigade and said, "Hi, I want to be a fireman, can I?" 218 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,800 I passed all the tests and everything and they said, "Come on in." 219 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,400 I'm a section leader in the Polish fire brigade. 220 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:30,640 You're saying lightly that, "Oh, I learned the language," but it must have been very, very difficult. 221 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,120 I find it a very difficult language indeed. 222 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:38,680 Polish actually is amongst five of the most difficult languages in the world. 223 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,360 I don't know how I've done it. 224 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,200 How do you do it? Did you do it from books? No books. 225 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:47,960 At one point, Michael, I wouldn't even like to think about it, 226 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,200 cos I'm sure I've drunk a car learning this Polish language, 227 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:55,200 but the best way to learn Polish really is buy a beer, buy a Polish guy a beer, 228 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,400 sit down and chat with him. 229 00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,720 How similar are the Poles to the English? Or how different? 230 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,480 They're very different. I wouldn't say similar. 231 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:07,240 They're not similar at all. They're very, very opposite, I'd say 232 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:11,920 But they're opposites which attract. The Poles like the English, the English like the Poles. 233 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,960 The Poles, for example, they're very gallant, if you're talking about women. 234 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,760 They kiss women on the hand for hello and goodbye. 235 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,840 English guy does this, "Hi, how are you?" It's a little bit cold. 236 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:28,440 The Poles are very hospitable - if you go to their house, they will empty out the fridge 237 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:32,200 and knock on the neighbour's door to get their fridge emptied to entertain you. 238 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:36,880 What about your love life here, if it's not a rude question? Are the girls easy to meet? 239 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:41,120 Yes. Yes, I did. When I came out here, I was 21. 240 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,400 21, 22. 241 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,200 Not married. 242 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,960 The Polish women are really beautiful. 243 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,640 They really are. 244 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,680 Also, very hospitable. 245 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,320 They love English. 246 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,360 They love the Englishman as well, not only their language. 247 00:21:56,360 --> 00:22:00,840 But I'm married so I can't say too much now. 248 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,480 I'm sure my wife is going to watch this. 249 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,120 I'm married to a Polish woman. 250 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:08,920 We're building a house now in the forest, which is coming on very nicely. 251 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,200 I would not be able to do that in Great Britain, I'm sure of it. 252 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,920 And we have a lovely daughter whose name actually by the way is Chelsea. 253 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:20,920 So there's a nice piece of English heritage still being implanted in Poland 254 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,000 and it's being raised in Poland so... 255 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,880 I've still got Great Britain close to my heart and everything, even though I'm a long way away. 256 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,560 But I would say this one thing for the Poles that are in my country 257 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:37,000 is that I hope that Great Britain treats them as well as Poland has treated me here. 258 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,640 That's the best that I could ever wish them, really. 259 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,000 There's something I've always wanted to do. 260 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,040 Michael. I don't like these gates, they look very serious. 261 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,960 This one is quite serious. It's a long way down from here. 262 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,600 It certainly looks a lot further from here. 263 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,240 But we're going to get you down there safely. 264 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:58,920 What you've got to on this fire pole is first... 265 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,360 throw that into your shoulder. 266 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:06,640 Here, here. Do not hold it with your hands, because you'll burn them going down. 267 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,680 Do it with your sleeves, one leg, two legs. 268 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,320 And you go. Got it? 269 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,560 You nearly went then. Nearly. 270 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,840 I'll go after you. 271 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,640 So, in like that. Woah! 272 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,040 No arms. One leg. Then the other. 273 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,720 And then you go down. Let gravity take over. 274 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,160 That's brilliant. Whoa! 275 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,040 Not so bad, eh? Ah! 276 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,040 It's like sandpaper. 277 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:33,880 Now let go of the pole, Michael. 278 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,520 Let go of the pole? Oh, I don't take it with me? 279 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,560 How was that? Deux points? 280 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,400 Absolute Mont Blanc. 281 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,040 So simple. 282 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,840 'I can't wait to try it again.' 283 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,320 LOUD BEEPING 284 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,440 'This could be my chance.' 285 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,600 Wait! 286 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,000 Hang on! 287 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:23,640 I eventually catch up with Kevin at Polish Television, where he's something of a star. 288 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,840 He says he can get me on a top morning TV show. 289 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,280 This could be the break I've been waiting for. 290 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,160 THEY SPEAK IN POLISH 291 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,040 'He thinks it would be a good wheeze 292 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,840 'to test my Polish pronunciation on camera.' 293 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,520 THEY SPEAK IN POLISH 294 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,760 We're going to be on after an item about ladies' hairdressing. 295 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:09,880 Back in make-up, I asked Kevin how on earth he got into all this. 296 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,200 I signed a contract for three episodes. 297 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,440 What of? A comedy show? Yeah. 298 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,840 That was four years ago. 299 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,720 On Friday, we're recording the 100th episode. 300 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,960 Amazing. You do stage stuff as well? 301 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,840 Stand-up comedy as well. 302 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,520 In Polish, to a Polish audience? 303 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:34,320 Yes, my hero in Great Britain, heroes - are Jimmy Jones... 304 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,320 Jimmy Jones. Roy Chubby Brown? 305 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,600 No, Lee Evans. I love Lee Evans. 306 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,960 Shall we go, Michael? We're done, OK. 307 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,320 Hello, Michael Palin. 308 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:10,040 This is my honour, really. I never thought I can shake your hand. 309 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,200 You've created my sense of humour, really. 310 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,720 Is that a good thing? 311 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,160 That's your fault! 312 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,840 THEY SPEAK IN POLISH 313 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,600 Thank you for being here with us. 314 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,720 HE SPEAKS IN POLISH 315 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,720 We're going to try and do some Polish. 316 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,760 MICHAEL SPEAKS IN POLISH 317 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,200 Very good. 318 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:36,080 MICHAEL SPEAKS IN POLISH 319 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,560 That's a difficult one. 320 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,600 MICHAEL SPEAKS IN POLISH 321 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,800 Very good! 322 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,960 It's your handwriting that's so bad. 323 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,920 MICHAEL SPEAKS IN POLISH 324 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,240 Very good, almost, almost. 325 00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:59,000 This is going to be one of your favourites. 326 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:04,400 I'll show this to the camera first. We've got this. 327 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,920 What is that, Michael? 328 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,800 MICHAEL SPEAKS IN POLISH 329 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,440 Close. THEY SPEAK IN POLISH 330 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:17,080 Can he just say goodbye to the viewers? 331 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,720 Of course. Right here. 332 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,640 THEY SPEAK IN POLISH 333 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,880 Thank you. Thank you, Michael. 334 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,920 Now it's just back to normal life. 335 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:34,440 My moment of glory is over. 336 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,400 Polish Television conquered. 337 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,440 Tomorrow, the world. 338 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:48,240 The world in this case being the Great European Plain, where Poland was forged over 1,000 years ago. 339 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:54,480 It grew strong and successful until the Russians, the Austrians and then the Germans swallowed up their land. 340 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,720 It's only now, in the new Europe, 341 00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,200 that Poland is regaining its stability, confidence and its history. 342 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,080 Poznan is another picture postcard piece of restoration. 343 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,680 Its Old Square, where past meets the present, 344 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:23,360 is the perfect place to watch the world go by and sort out the mobile phone offers. 345 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:28,600 No, no. The thing is, I was on your two for one 346 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,360 and I now want to change to the four for three, 347 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,960 which is tariff five. 348 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:42,800 So four for three on tariff five and I'm going on to Krakow, southern Poland, 349 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:49,920 so I believe that changes to the special offer then, 350 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,600 which is like... 351 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,520 I only want it for a week there. I don't want it for the full three months. I see. 352 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,480 That would be ... Oh, do you? 353 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:03,040 That's interesting. That's interesting. OK. Right. 354 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,760 So this is the ten for one. 355 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,080 That's wonderful. 356 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:11,880 That's only in this part? Right. 357 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,480 That's in where? That's in Moscow. 358 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,760 No, I'm not going to Moscow. 359 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,320 But that's a fantastic rate. 360 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,440 Ten for one. I think I might go to Moscow. 361 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,680 I'll have a word with the director, anyway. 362 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,880 'The highlight here is the midday display on the town hall clock. 363 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:36,440 'It commemorates a legend by which two rams, or is it goats, 364 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,560 'locked horns outside the town hall, 365 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,360 'alerting everyone to the fact that it was on fire at the time. 366 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:46,240 'This is something not to be missed.' 367 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,000 BELL TOLLS 368 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,120 Sorry, I've got to stop now, the two rams are coming out. 369 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,120 CLOCK CHIMES 370 00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,920 TRUMPET PLAYS 371 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:22,560 Butting completed, the rams or goats, retire till midday tomorrow. 372 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,440 I wouldn't say the place was gripped with excitement, 373 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,280 but it's given everyone something to do apart from shopping. 374 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,920 I've got a terrific deal from Japanese Telecom. 375 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,440 Posnan Central Station. 376 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:46,680 The 8.58 to Wolsztyn prepares to leave, with a very new driver. 377 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:52,880 This is it, this is the mighty, oily beast that I shall be driving, and I've got the outfit. 378 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:57,960 I might look a bit like a gents' hairdressser but this is actually the PKP drivers' jacket. 379 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,400 PKP meaning Polish Regional Railways. 380 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,760 The great thing is, this is a scheduled service. 381 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,160 There will be passengers on board. 382 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,520 They haven't been told that 383 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:13,360 a member of a comedy troupe from England is actually going to be driving. Probably just as well. 384 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,920 Anyway, I can't wait to get on, so here we go. See you later. 385 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:21,280 Englishman Bob Wyatt was one of the inspirations behind a very bold 386 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,920 operation, an Anglo-Polish engine driving school. 387 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,320 Morning. Michael. 388 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,800 OK, great. Thank you. So... 389 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,640 So, Michael, are you going to drive to Wolsztyn? So I'm told. 390 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,680 If you'd let me drive to Wolsztyn. 391 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:43,600 It seems a dangerously big thing for me to be in charge of, so... OK. 392 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:57,000 I can also be a fireman if I want to but I've been allowed to practise getting the coal on. 393 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,840 That's why you have to practise! 394 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:17,160 It's 8.58, and as the commuters pour into Posnan, it's time to go. 395 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:21,960 Regulator goes down. There's always a gap between the regulator moving and the train moving off. 396 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,040 There we are, the crowd swarming into Posnan. 397 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,600 Now, I'd better just concentrate. 398 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,880 This isn't Thomas The Tank Engine. 399 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,680 This is the real thing on a real railway... WHISTLE BLOWS 400 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,520 ..with real passengers. 401 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,640 Once we're clear of the main line, Janos puts me into the driving seat. 402 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,240 Is that a station ahead? 403 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,720 Lift the break. Lift the break. 404 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,640 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS 405 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,640 STEAM HISSES 406 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,360 All right, it's not Grand Central, but it's my first station. 407 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,080 I'm rather proud of it. 408 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,000 Beautiful. 409 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,200 This is just stopping! 410 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:47,920 Stopping! 411 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,680 Starting's the bit I like. 412 00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,760 There we go. Ooh! 413 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,240 WORDS DROWNED OUT BY ENGINE 414 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:22,840 OK... No, no, Michael. 415 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,400 There we are. 416 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:30,360 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS 417 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,880 I'm beginning to get the hang of it. TOOTS WHISTLE 418 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,720 Phew! We're in the depot of Wolsztyn. 419 00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:19,640 We're back and almost on time. 420 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,440 I think we're about two minutes late. 421 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:26,160 Once you get over the actual fear of being on the footplate 422 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,160 of this enormous hurtling bit of mass of metal, 423 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:33,280 once you get over that it's very exhilarating. 424 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,560 But normally now we just press buttons and things happen. 425 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,160 On this you have to pull a lever which presses a flange, 426 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,400 which pulls another valve which turns some wheels, and it's really hard physical work. 427 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,080 So, I've great respect for these guys. 428 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:51,600 I suppose they are a bit dodos like this, but it was a great run, and I do apologise to any passengers 429 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,040 who had heart attacks. We'll refund the money. 430 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:57,440 I'm just going to help out greasing down the old beast. 431 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:06,360 I always wanted to be an engine driver and now my dream's come true. 432 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:10,760 It'll be a real anti-climax being a TV presenter again. 433 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,280 This is Jasna Gora monastery in Czestochowa, 434 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:27,120 the most important religious site in a deeply religious country. 435 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,720 At the entrance is the powerful figure of Cardinal Wyszynski, 436 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:44,480 the Catholic primate who refused to compromise with the Communists. 437 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,840 So many hundreds of thousands of pilgrims come here every year 438 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,600 that special days have to be organised for them. 439 00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:02,240 This is interesting. Throughout the year, the various pilgrim groups have their own special days. 440 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:05,520 The year is almost packed with different groups coming in. 441 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,320 We are... That's ours. 442 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,200 25th to the 28th, Kapelani WP. 443 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,840 Chaplains of the Polish army. 444 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,240 That, I'm told, Lesnicy, are Forest Guards. 445 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:20,920 So, they all have their special day of pilgrimage. 446 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,360 Doesn't say BBC. 447 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:29,480 What they've all come to see is the mysterious black Madonna, 448 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:36,560 a likeness of the Virgin Mary said to have been painted by St Luke on a beam from Jesus' home in Nazareth. 449 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:45,480 Pilgrims process on their knees around the chapel where it's displayed. 450 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,640 The Madonna has been associated with some great Polish victories over 451 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,400 the years and is believed to have miraculous powers. 452 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:03,760 Monks of the Pauline order, whose monastery this is, celebrate Mass almost non-stop throughout the day. 453 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,000 The climax is always the moment when the Madonna is revealed. 454 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,600 SINGING 455 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,280 The great moment is announced with a drum roll. 456 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,040 A screen of beaten gold slowly rises. 457 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:08,560 And the black Madonna, nestling in jewel-encrusted robes, is at last revealed. 458 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,920 My guide Father Tomon tells me what it means. 459 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:24,120 It's meaning the queen of Poland, Mary, 460 00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:25,920 was elected 461 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:31,520 proclaimed queen of Polish nation, and after the...wars, 462 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:35,200 martial law proclaimed by General Jaruzelski, 463 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:40,680 after this period of Communism we have this place where we were free. 464 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:47,240 This holy icon is a sign of presence, her presence here. 465 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:52,840 She is here and we believe that she is a mother, a queen of the Polish nation, of course. 466 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:07,680 Then the time comes for the queen of Poland to be hidden again. 467 00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:48,880 Two hours from the monastery is one of the most infamous places in Europe. 468 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:53,760 Occupied Poland was where the Nazis put their most notorious concentration camps. 469 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,440 This, one of the earliest, is in the town of Oswiecim. 470 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,520 In German, Auschwitz. 471 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,920 Converted in 1940 from a Polish army barracks, Auschwitz One 472 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,720 is where the techniques of mass killing were honed. 473 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,280 This was one of the gas chambers. 474 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:27,120 And these are some of the first ovens developed to destroy 475 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,960 quickly and efficiently all traces of organised murder. 476 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,600 In the rooms where men, women and children were incarcerated 477 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,480 are displays of what was found when the camp was finally liberated. 478 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,080 Canisters of the killing gas, Zyklon B. 479 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,280 Piles of human hair. 480 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,880 And, somehow most moving of all for me, the bags and suitcases 481 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,400 that once contained someone's last possessions. 482 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,600 And on them, the names of their owners, written in hope. 483 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:14,400 I suppose it's good that places like this are still here, 484 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:18,080 with the evidence of brutality kept in good condition. 485 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:21,480 But I wish I could believe that people will never be like this again. 486 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:32,120 Now here's something the Poles are proud of and which every schoolchild has to see. 487 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,880 A salt mine. We start our way down to the mine. 488 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,720 Yep. To the first level only. 489 00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:43,000 64 metres, about 200 feet below the surface. 490 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,040 It will be 380 steps. 491 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:51,280 If you look down into the shaft, you will see the way to the first level is 64 metres... 492 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:57,800 'People flock to the mine not just to see, well, salt, 493 00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:01,560 'but to see what can be done with salt if you've a bit of spare time, 494 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,720 'a fair amount of talent, and a lot of dedication. 495 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:07,360 'For this is where all these steps lead to... 496 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,080 'St Kinga's Chapel, where everything, 497 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,760 'walls, floor, ceiling, 498 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,120 'even the crystal on the chandeliers, 499 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,720 'is made out of salt.' 500 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,560 That's beautifully done, isn't it, really? 501 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,400 It's the Last Supper. 502 00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,760 It's almost like a marble. Is it really? Yes, it's hard. 503 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:34,800 In order to have such smooth surfaces of faces, hands, 504 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,240 they could polish it by something wet. Yeah. 505 00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:41,280 So that's the difference between salt carving and wooden carving, 506 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,440 that they could use the water to polish salt. Yeah. 507 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,440 This is the side altar, 508 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,480 of Sacred Heart Of Maria. 509 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:57,360 It's a nice salt, very clean kind of salt. Very translucent. 510 00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:02,000 And the relief called Miracle Incarna, 511 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,400 Jesus changing water into wine during the party. 512 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,000 It has beautiful perspective. 513 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,480 It digs so deep in the wall. Yes. 514 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:16,880 It all looks so exceptional. Of course, they're lucky to have the cyrstals too - 515 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:20,320 adds that touch. Like the chandeliers. 516 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:24,560 Yeah, chandeliers, they are made of salt cyrstals. Of course, the frame is wooden. 517 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:28,440 Same cyrstals, they are behind the statue of Kinga. 518 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:32,680 These are crystals of halite, that's the name of the mineral. Pure salt. 519 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:37,400 I mean, these guys who carved all this, were they artists already? 520 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,800 Did they do other work, or any other carvings, 521 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,640 any sculptures around the area or they just worked here? 522 00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:45,240 Just ordinary miners. They were just miners! 523 00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:49,800 In their spare time, after their work, after their shift, 524 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:53,440 they carved salt figures, so it wasn't them doing their regular shift, 525 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,280 just doing eight hours after it. They had to do a day's work in the mines too? 526 00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:00,560 Yes. And then after one or two hours, not every day, 527 00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,760 as a kind of passion, they carved here. 528 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,400 This must have been very recent. 529 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,640 This statue of the Pope John Paul II 530 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:13,240 was finished seven years ago, also by the miner. 531 00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:17,360 Very clever. We still have miners, they continue the tradition of carving. 532 00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:20,400 Seven of them, they do it, still. 533 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,640 Same families, is it? No. No? 534 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:25,400 'I've reached Krakow. 535 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,560 'My conveyance this morning is the Trabant. 536 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:34,240 'Made in East Germany, it was the people's car of Communist Europe.' 537 00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:36,080 Thank you. Thanks very much. 538 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,520 Hello there. Good morning. 539 00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,120 I'm Michael. 540 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,600 Let's go! 541 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,520 Oh, reverse! 542 00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,880 Great. Woah! 543 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:55,600 'Among some young Poles, the humble Trabant has aquired cult status. 544 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,280 'Entrepreneurs, like my driver Kuba, 545 00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:02,080 'are using them to offer less conventional city tours.' 546 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:06,920 Tell me about the car, the great Trabant. 547 00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,800 Well, here we've just got the speed meter, yep. 548 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:14,320 There is temperature of oil, which, of course, doesn't work! 549 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:18,960 And the most tricky thing about Trabants is that it doesn't have a fuel gauge. 550 00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:23,200 No fuel gauge? And the gas tank is under the hood. 551 00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:26,320 So, we've got the hood, the engine, and the gas tank. 552 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:29,360 Yeah. The gas tank is just by the engine, you know, 553 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,720 so some people claim that it's not too safe. Yeah. 554 00:48:32,720 --> 00:48:36,360 And what are those over there? This, er...? 555 00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,640 Yeah. This? That knob, yeah! 556 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,160 This knob is to turn on the light. I see. 557 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,120 Well, you better have that, because I don't know quite where it goes. 558 00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,760 Well, me either, so...! OK. 559 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,160 Well, we'll just... 560 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,520 Keep that in your pocket for later. Yeah, maybe... Maybe... 561 00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,320 ..I'll hang onto it for you. OK. OK. So what are the ones next to it? 562 00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:01,360 The next is for the windscreen, er... 563 00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:05,600 This is for lights, I think. Yeah, this one is for lights, yeah. 564 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,080 That's good. Windscreen wipers - that's fine. 565 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:12,160 But the lights don't work properly, so I just don't use them... 566 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,800 until it's dark, it's too dark. 567 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:18,680 So, there's the heating. It's not air conditioned, it's just basic heating. 568 00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:23,520 But the thing is, I've been doing these tours for six months and I've no idea how it works. 569 00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,800 Yeah. So, er... we don't know how it works. 570 00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:31,680 'For a small car, the Trabant leaves a hell of a carboon footprint 571 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,520 'But Kuba seems undettered. 572 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:41,200 'It's a minor worry compared to SOME of his problems.' 573 00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,760 Quite often, I mean, once in a month or something like that, 574 00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,680 er...the wheels...they fell off. 575 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,120 I mean, not all of the wheels... 576 00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,640 it's just the one wheel. 577 00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:56,840 But we've got four of them, and in two of them, the wheels fell off three times. 578 00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,200 So, of course, it happened during the tour. 579 00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:03,560 So, you drive a Trabant like now, 60 or something, 580 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:07,320 and suddenly you are without the wheel. 581 00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:11,000 So you are in the middle of the road, in the middle of the traffic, 582 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,840 and you have big problem, cos it's not so easy 583 00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,320 to keep it running straight with three wheels! 584 00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:22,200 'It's not just the car that's different on the tour. 585 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,840 'It's the destination. 586 00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:27,080 'The suburb called Nowa Huta, built in the 1950s 587 00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,640 'as the ideal Socialist city.' 588 00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,000 So, here we are, old part of Nowa Huta. 589 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,280 Shape of the semi-circle, yeah? Like a fan. 590 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,760 I can show you a few photos... 591 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,400 cos...it's good to see 592 00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:47,000 how big an achievement it was. Cos, back in the '50s, 593 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,280 so, please remember, 1949, 594 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:54,920 beginning of the whole construction, first settlers. 595 00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:58,400 That's just farmland, as it was then. Just the farmland. 596 00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,200 Exactly. Green field, nothing on it. 597 00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:04,920 But in the ten years, well, take a look what they did. Oh, yeah. 598 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:09,440 We've got this central square that we can see on the map. It's here. Yes. 599 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:13,240 And you see how grand it is. Very formal. Very formal. 600 00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,800 'Kuba shows me the grand arcades of Nowa Huta, 601 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:24,760 'designed to prove that the proletariat could have a city just as beautiful 602 00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,400 'as anything in snobby, priest-ridden Krakow. 603 00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:31,640 'But in the 1980s, he tells me, it all went wrong. 604 00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:35,360 'Like the shipyard workers of Gdansk, the steelworkers of Nowa Huta 605 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:40,920 'rose in protest, turning on the party and looking instead to the West. 606 00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:51,000 'The sight of mountain peaks comes as quite a shock after weeks on the plain. 607 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,640 'Ahead are the high Tatras, half in Poland, half in Slovakia. 608 00:51:54,640 --> 00:52:00,120 'I'm in a village where a highland wedding is about to take place. 609 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:08,280 THEY SING IN POLISH 610 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:12,120 'Two all-singing masters of ceremonies are delivering the bridegroom, 611 00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:15,560 'a ski instructor, to the home of his bride-to-be, 612 00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:19,720 'also a ski instructor. He is escorted by two bridesmaids, 613 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:22,280 'quite possibly ski instructors. 614 00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:31,400 'On arrival at the house, Marius is welcomed by his bride Berta, 615 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,880 'wearing a heavy metre-long head-dress 616 00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:37,000 'she's not allowed to take off until the end of the wedding day. 617 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:48,560 'They're serenaded into the house and up to the bride's bedroom. 618 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:07,560 'Here, amidst a total lack of privacy, he has to take off his shirt 619 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,200 'and put on one prepared by his bride. 620 00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:19,360 'No fumbling goes unrecorded.' 621 00:53:25,240 --> 00:53:26,520 Oh! 622 00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:53,240 'At some point in the day's crowded programme, 623 00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:56,640 'the bride and groom actually get to church and marry each other. 624 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:16,440 'After the wedding, I take a walk in the hills, 625 00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,440 'only to find the photographer's got them up here as well!' 626 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:24,160 THEY LAUGH AND TALK EXCITEDLY 627 00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:31,040 'Berta's being photographed with all the men she HASN'T married today. 628 00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,560 'She seems to be rather enjoying it! 629 00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:43,840 'But who am I to talk?' 630 00:54:59,720 --> 00:55:01,320 Woah, lovely! 631 00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,320 Ah! Oh, don't...! 632 00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,760 Oh, this is lovely! This is heaven! 633 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:09,640 'I keep trying to get away, but the photographer is insatiable!' 634 00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,680 OK, legs together! 635 00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:20,400 'Now the wedding action shifts bizarrely to the local fire station. 636 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,280 'In small villages like this, 637 00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,720 'it's often the only place with a room big enough for a party. 638 00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:35,640 'I really feel for Berta. Ski instructing must be a doddle after this!' 639 00:55:41,720 --> 00:55:44,960 It's very hard to dance when you're drunk! 640 00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,240 Yeah, exactly. We're not doing too badly! 641 00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:50,520 Quite... Quite dainty. 642 00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:57,560 'A supercharged vodka, especially bottled for this great day, keeps the 200 guests going. 643 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:00,440 'And going!' 644 00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:06,560 This is supposed to be a bit of a comedy performance, or is it supposed to be serious?! 645 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:18,120 We also have wedding vodka. 646 00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:25,360 What is wedding vodka? Is it different from normal vodka? 647 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:28,520 It's much stronger, I have to say. It's almost 90%. 648 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,280 This is what these people have been drinking 649 00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:35,160 for the last six hours? Yes. Two bottles per head. 650 00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:42,680 Wow. They prepared 1,600 bottles for this wedding. 651 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,720 And they come back tomorrow, don't they, some of them? Two more days. 652 00:56:46,720 --> 00:56:48,360 Tomorrow is the after-party, 653 00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:52,640 and the day after tomorrow is another after-party. 654 00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,360 They have to drink all those bottles they prepared. 655 00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,120 They know how to get married, these Poles, don't they? 656 00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:03,840 'I'm very happy for Marius and Berta. 657 00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,440 'This is a night they will never forget. 658 00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:08,480 'And probably never remember! 659 00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,160 'I'm in the gorge of the Dunajec River, 660 00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,840 'which, after my long journey through the country, 661 00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,480 'will take me out of Poland. 662 00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,920 'And as I've learnt here in the Tatras, 663 00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:26,600 'mountain people have a special way of doing things.' 664 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,840 THEY SING 665 00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,160 Well, this for me is the last of Poland. 666 00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,280 And I mean literally the last of Poland, 667 00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:56,760 because this river marks the southern border of the country. 668 00:57:56,760 --> 00:58:00,960 So it's farewell and thank you for everything to Poland, 669 00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,960 and...here we come Slovakia!