That's the start of the journey.
The Sahara journey day two,
the first thing we have to do is leave Europe behind.
That is the last of Europe, the rock of Gibraltar,
Spain beyond it.
We're on the Straits of Gibraltar,
between Europe and Africa.
It's only a few more miles to the African coast,
and it's just an amazing location,
one of the great focal points of world history
between this rock and the rock on the other side
which we'll try and get a picture of later.
For the Romans and the Greeks, this was the end of the world,
the end of the known world.
Beyond that, it was terra incognita, and for me, too.
Where I'm going to, places like Mauritania, Mali,
they're just names - I know nothing about them at all.
So for me, it's a journey into terra incognita as well.
There we are, there goes Gibraltar, the rock,
the last of Britain only 200 miles from the Sahara Desert!
Farewell. See you when I see you!
(ROARING WIND) And that, if you can hear me,
is where we're going. That's Africa!
That's the other side of the Straits.
Morocco and beyond the Atlas mountains,
Sahara, sand, sea, fun!
Well, sand, anyway! That's it. That's Africa,
right across the Straits from Gibraltar.
The two rocks, known as the Pillars of Hercules,
and the end of the known world 2,000 years ago.
So a real feeling of adventure at this point!
And wind and noise!
The noises you can hear in the background
are the everyday life of the family of Bachir
who are looking after us here in the Polisario refugee camp
in south-western Algeria,
on the western edge of the Sahara Desert.
Around this camp, which has only been built in the last 25 years,
is just desert. (CHILDREN GIGGLE)
And we're not staying at some hotel. There aren't hotels.
Bachir has allowed us to come and stay in his own house,
and welcomed us to the house.
There's Siddi, most of the boys are called Siddi.
That's Siddi two. Siddi one's somewhere, and there's Salma.
Come along, Hadi! Say hello!
There we are.
Say hello. Hello, world!
Hello.
This is Hadi.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
They speak Spanish here as well as Arabic,
and so you're... dieciocho.
Dieciocho.
Which for all you Spanish speakers out there is 18.
Isn't it extraordinary?
There are seven of us travelling with all our bags.
If we turned up at someone's house for two or three days,
a house as small as this...
This is the courtyard. There's a very small kitchen,
and one small lavatory which is just a hole in the ground,
and it's a squat toilet so you just squat over it.
Washing comes from water which is brought from 25 miles away.
It ends up here in these big sort of drums,
and we pour water in there and wash our hands from there.
That's the water they live on.
It's a very, very different world.
It's Arabic so there's no drinking, no alcohol.
None of us have had alcohol for a bit.
And when you eat...
It's a kind of nomadic world here.
People only carry around things they can take with them.
This is still the way it is.
They have a tent, carpets, cushions,
you don't have heavy tableware,
you don't have anything that you can't carry with you.
So when you eat, you sit cross-legged and...
...and you sort of lie rather languidly
at the table in there.
And people just naturally lie down here.
It's a different way of life,
and life begins really when the light comes up.
There is some light here. There's a solar panel
which brings in electricity
or rather creates electricity.
It charges that battery,
and there is no electricity brought into this camp
which is called Smara and contains 40,000 people.
It's all solar heated,
so everything's quite dim.
Everyone's very jolly.
They're all amazingly friendly and welcoming.
They probably should be at school!
The buildings are made of what you see around you,
basically sand - sand and clay. Sand and water.
They make building bricks and they put a rendering on.
This presumably survives because it doesn't rain here very often.
It hasn't rained here for two and a half years.
This is our home for a while, and you're very, very kind!
Oh, thank you!
You made this.
This is a... There we go.
Look at that! Thank you.
There - it means we're friends.
I'll probably have to pay about 3,000 pesetas!
That's lovely. Thank you. Muchas gracias.
- De nada. - Muchas gracias.
Me llamo Michael y buenas noches!
Here is the solar panel.
The source of all the light and energy at night.
Here is the battery which is being charged.
When they cook,
the cooking is in here.
This is the kitchen.
(CHILDREN CHATTER)
We'll fight our way through. This is the kitchen.
Can you see in here, there's a?
There's Salma.
How are you doing? Salma say hello to the camera.
There we are. Hold on.
Hola! Hola!
No, no!
There's Mrs Krikita.
(CHILD) Hola. (PALIN) Hola.
- Krikita? Kri-kita? - Kri-kiba.
Kri-kiba, you see? We're learning!
Mrs Kri-kiba. She does all the cooking
out of this one little room here.
There's a stove down there.
Oh, she doesn't want us to see that.
(BOY) Siddi.
(PALIN) Siddi uno.
What's this, Bachir?
(BACHIR) This is brazier.
(PALIN) That's charcoal brazier.
(BACHIR) Charcoal from acacia wood.
Acacias are about the only trees that grow here.
Yes, this is the only tree
which grows in this part of the desert.
That's charcoal from acacia wood,
and this is Calor gas?
(BACHIR) Yes, but in general, for preparing food,
we prefer to use the brazier of acacia rather than the gas.
Because it has a pleasant smell and cooks better?
Yes, and the fire is softer. The heat is softer than the gas.
It's softer. That's interesting, yeah.
So, as you have said yesterday, no?
For a good tea, we need unsalty water and charcoal.
That's easier said than done
because unsalty water comes from about 50 kilometres away.
And the best acacia wood, so tea is so important here.
Thank you. There's Siddi going off there.
Now, into the tent.
Take my shoes off.
We take our shoes off when we go into the tent.
And, er...
(BACHIR) You can sit wherever you like.
I'm going to show you this is where we would eat.
You sit like that.
Cross-legged and you'd have bowls like that.
And when you've had enough, you have a little lie down.
That's how we want to relax. Like that, yeah.
That's the way you relax, is it?
I was saying, it's probably to do with being nomads -
having to take things you can carry with you,
so you don't have great heavy chairs.
(BACHIR) Just very light things. (PALIN) Lovely! That's the life!
That's the life!
It's not all as easy as this!
And they're not all as friendly as Bachir!
(BACHIR) Thank you! - Good hospitality!
It's just unbelievable because here we are in this tent,
surrounded by friends,
and outside, miles and miles of desert
about as far as the eye can see.
Anyway...
...that's it.
Tea is about to be made.
They're very hospitable here.
And we all sleep, not together, but in these two rooms...
...rather comfortably.
And I feel much better after a really awful day yesterday
when something hit my system,
some nasty, violent, evil thing
went through my system.
It made me feel very ill.
Coming out of both ends, I was, so I feel much better tonight.
I'm quite looking forward
to crossing the border tomorrow to Mauritania
and finding a hotel that has hot water in the rooms,
and somewhere to get a shave and just clean up,
and sort out the gear
which has been covered in sand five days in a row.
Otherwise, moral is high, isn't it?
(NO ONE RESPONDS)
Isn't it? Oui!
Shoukran! OK... Goodnight!
If you're not careful, I'll show you the toilet facilities!
Well, you asked for it.
I threatened I'd show you the toilet facilities here.
It's called Mejeg or Mejik.
It's a very southern part of Western Sahara.
A tiny little desert town. There's not much here at all.
This is the grand de luxe bathroom.
This is really quite clean.
Get a bucket of water and just flush it down there.
And around here, we'll find the washroom.
It's just as well this isn't smell-a-vision, actually!
A little bit of bath water in there...
which I think is a bit...
I'm not sure whether it's bath water or washing up water,
but it's slightly warm.
I hope I don't have to see these facilities
as often as I did last night in the other army barracks.
I had to rush out in the night,
the wind blowing, toilet paper flapping.
This is what happens when you travel.
You eat one wrong mouthful of camel stew,
or a fork that hasn't been cleaned,
and then for 24 hours, your system's hell.
But as I say, I'm fine today,
and I'm drinking the tea -
this is very special tea that the Saharawis,
the people who live in Western Sahara -
they've now been exiled to one side of the border -
but they make this lovely tea and have been very good to us.
So a drink to the Western Sahara people, the Saharawis!
Ace!
I'd just like to say a few words about Michael,
because he's too modest to say
that he's been extremely ill on this leg of the journey.
For one whole day, he was vomiting
one, two, three, four times.
He got weaker and weaker,
and by the end he could hardly stand up.
There are very few hospitals around,
but at the mention of the word "hospital",
he would have nothing to do with it,
so we think he's been a very brave boy.
He's been a real trouper,
and he'll probably hate me for telling the world
how ill he's been and how he's coped with it
in very wild and inhospitable places.
I can't speak too highly of... What shall we call it?
The professionalism - the do or die bulldog spirit!
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
(MAN) Does Michael want to keep any of his small bags?
No, I think everything's out here.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
It's the sort of travelling light that we do (!)
We need all these. Believe it or not, we need all these.
I personally need my stock of 42 socks,
16 linen suits,
dinner jacket and...
...medals.
But this is...
...really the end of a section
which has taken us across our first real stretch of desert
from Morocco down here to...
...central southern Mauritania.
Behind me the fort from the French Foreign Legion!
It really was a French Foreign Legion fort.
You see this extraordinary...
...wall decoration.
It looks as though people have served tennis balls
very fast and repeatedly into the walls.
OK...
(MAN) Are you ready?
Trouble strikes in Bandiagara in Mali,
50 miles south-east of...
...Mopti on our way to Dogon country.
It's a kind of bumpy, bouncy road,
a couple of springs have broken,
so the repair is being done.
They've just gone into town
and got a bit of rubber to strengthen the springs,
so what do we do? We get food!
Ah, my mango has arrived! Thank you. This is our director.
What's the way to do it?
Sorry, mango calls. Mr Meakin, the camera man.
Don't take it away again.
No, go on.
All the crew must eat
in quieter moments like this.
There they all are.
A mango moment.
Mangoes and bananas...
...taste different in Africa.
It was worth a detour just for the mangoes.
It's worth breaking down every now and then.
- Where did you get these? - At a police stop.
We had to stop on the way to Bandiagara.
There were red and white striped cans right across the road.
- We had to pay some tax. - Mmm. Poll tax.
It seemed to be a bit of a contentious issue.
- Well, it's... - Who levies the tax?
It's the local bandits, basically.
They just say, "This bit of road is ours,
"and you have to pay to cross it." It's like a motorway toll.
They had no actual uniform or badge of authority.
Meanwhile, while you're doing that,
someone creeps up the side and sells you mangoes!
They sell you everything all the time here.
That was the wife of the man taking the fine.
I'm being pampered!
So what's the problem?
How does this affect our progress?
Well, we've lost half a day probably,
but we'll just sit here and eat mangoes until they've fixed it.
It's not the first time that we've had vehicle trouble.
- It is a problem. - It is a problem,
but it's kind of par for the course.
(MAN) OK.
Um, it's...
...the beginning of the second week of March now
here in Mali, the centre of Africa,
and it's beginning to get very hot.
You notice it. It's ten to nine now but the sun's beating down,
and everybody who knows anything tries to find the shade.
You find whatever you can which is the shade of this big tree.
They're setting up their stalls now.
There's never a shortage of a salesman in Africa.
I suppose that's what they live off -
these things they've made and the tourists that come by.
I'd say there aren't that many.
So today is going to be a day on the river, I hope.
I see these people setting up the stall,
I think I'll set up my own stall.
People often ask what I carry in this bag of mine.
It is quite important because everything is vital.
Firstly, the major thing being water.
Water...
...absolutely vital.
You're supposed to drink about six to eight litres a day,
and we probably do.
It draws the moisture out of you here,
and every hour, half hour,
you have to reinvigorate your system by having a slug.
So, there's the water down there.
I'll make my own little stall.
Notebook. There we are.
Aldwych notebook. Wonderful. All weather. Hand-stitched seam.
The only notebook that really survives a journey like this
where it gets a lot of use.
I keep notes of the day.
And when we're bouncing along in a vehicle, and I can't write,
I use this little tape recorder.
"Hello, on the banks of the Bani River in Mopti,
"day 436."
(TAPE REWINDS)
(TAPE) Hello, on the banks of the Bani River in Mopti,
day 436.
Oh, it works. Il marche!
So there's that
which I'll put down there,
the notebook... there...
What else?
Glasses.
I suppose my reading eyesight started to go
just after I'd done Round the World in 80 Days,
so now I do need these to read the small print,
but because the sun is so bright in Africa,
I need them far less than I do in murky London town.
And then a pair of shades for when it gets very dark...
...or I want to look exceedingly cool.
So that's the cool look.
There's a couple of those. All absolutely necessary.
Now, what's in the side pockets?
Sun lotion, sun very strong.
Probably up to 45 degrees this afternoon.
A little thermometer which will tell me what the temperature is.
Sweet, isn't it, really?
It was the only one I could find.
It's now...
In the shade, it's about 32 in the shade at half-past eight.
Mozzy repellant...
...to squirt around me.
It's very essential for the riverside here,
although...
...this part of Africa is too dry
for the really nasty mosquitoes.
You have to go further south, the jungle area.
So that was the "medicament" section.
And here, tissues - nose for the blowing of,
scraping sand out of your ears,
cleaning your hands after you've eaten.
Hairbrush for a quick bit of vanity.
That is actually the entire make-up effort
on this production -
just get the hairbrush!
And, er... Those are rather useful.
Little...
...toothpick.
Very, very necessary,
because people have been eating sheep the last few days,
and before that, in the Western Sahara, I was eating camel.
This gets rid of those bits of sheep and camel that lurk.
So, nearly finished now.
There's a sort of antiseptic swab
if you get cut anywhere, which I often do.
And that's about it, I think.
There's probably something for the throat.
Just throat sweets - it gets very sandy here.
So that's what I carry in the bag.
Well, we're not working at the moment,
because of the extreme heat, isn't that right?
You'd normally whip us,
flog us out there into the desert.
The temperature is now 129 Fahrenheit.
Yeah, that's in the shade,
so it's probably going to be 135, 140 in the sun.
Can you do a conversion to centigrade for us?
OK, for those who are metric,
we're gonna go metric.
We're metric, aren't we, in Britain?
There is metric.
Centigrade's coming up. It's working on it.
It's flashing a lot, but nothing's happening yet.
- Talk amongst yourselves. - It's about as hot as it gets.
53 centigrade,
and behind me is a hot lunch being prepared!
We like a hot lunch in the heat!
The main trick that I've learnt is to keep the water in the sun,
and then you put a tea bag in it. It's a very cunning idea.
We don't waste our time. This is a patent tea-making method,
discovered when we were going in one of the vehicles.
The water starts vaguely frozen,
and just gets hotter.
We had this brilliant idea
of putting some peppermint tea bags in it,
putting it on the dashboard,
and it was a boiling hot cup of tea by the end!
So what becomes a negative, you turn into a positive,
which is really the nature of filming, isn't it?
Yeah. I think we've got to work this out between us.