1
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,420
I'm Timothy Spall,

2
00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:17,740
this is my wife, Shane.

3
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,300
And that is the North Sea.

4
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:26,420
It might not look like it right now,

5
00:00:26,420 --> 00:00:30,700
but we're on the trip of a lifetime,
travelling round the British Isles.

6
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:47,860
This is supposed to be fun.

7
00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:49,780
Oh...

8
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,220
All right.

9
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,740
It's OK.

10
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:58,420
Oh, God. We're in.

11
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:01,980
Hey! Jesus Christ!

12
00:01:04,380 --> 00:01:07,940
Six years after leaving the Thames,
we've arrived in Banff,

13
00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:10,700
in north-east Scotland.

14
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:13,820
You did well. Did I do all right?
Oh, you did well.

15
00:01:15,780 --> 00:01:16,860
In that time,

16
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:19,780
I've navigated over 1,700 miles,

17
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,700
rounding the Lizard,

18
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:25,140
taking on the Irish Sea,

19
00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:28,540
and being blown away by the beauty
of western Scotland.

20
00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:30,780
Go on, have a jump.

21
00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:32,500
There you go. Hello, darling!

22
00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:37,500
After mooring for the winter in
north-east Scotland,

23
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:41,500
we're heading south
for the first time,

24
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:44,100
taking in the whole eastern coast
of Britain.

25
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,100
We're going round in circles.
I am lost though, Shane.

26
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:51,540
Right, well, let's call the
coastguard, love, and get someone to
take us to shelter, shall we?

27
00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:54,580
On our 500-mile journey
back to London.

28
00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:59,260
To the right of Canary Wharf.
We can see the Dome.

29
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:00,860
We can see the Dome!

30
00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:03,660
# Somewhere at sea. #

31
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:16,500
It's a spring day, isn't it?

32
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:21,980
We're in the town of Banff,
Aberdeenshire.

33
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,900
It's a wonderful little place,

34
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:29,100
one of the best preserved townscapes
in Scotland.

35
00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:35,740
It's situated at the mouth of
the River Deveron

36
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:38,300
and faces the town of Macduff.

37
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:44,140
This is very much old Scotland
up here,

38
00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:48,020
where the south has very little
influence on the local dialect,

39
00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:51,220
known as Doric,
and the architecture.

40
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:56,540
I mean, look at that church up
there. That could almost be

41
00:02:56,540 --> 00:03:00,420
anywhere in northern Europe.

42
00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:04,620
To me, first time I saw that Macduff
outcrop, it looked like...

43
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:07,100
WOMAN SPEAKS IN LOCAL DIALECT

44
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,500
Can you can hear them speaking?

45
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,140
They could be speaking Norwegian.

46
00:03:12,140 --> 00:03:14,100
Aw-ricka-ma-hi!

47
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:17,220
A bloke, the other day, said to me,
he stopped, he pulled up in a van

48
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:22,260
and said, "Ach, I was watching ye
on the tele t'ther nachti.

49
00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:27,260
"In yer boaat, on the tele
t'ther nacht."

50
00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:29,900
I was watching you on the television
the other night.

51
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:32,380
Nacht actually is German for night.

52
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:35,100
It's probably Norwegian for night.

53
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,140
Hiya.

54
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:41,740
Before we came to Banff,
we were in Buckie,

55
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:43,660
15 miles up the coast of

56
00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:45,060
the Moray Firth.

57
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:51,220
Here, we had the Princess Matilda
spruced up with the full respray

58
00:03:51,220 --> 00:03:54,620
but, most importantly,

59
00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:57,020
we had the windows reinforced

60
00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:59,140
ready to take on the tempestuous
North Sea.

61
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,340
Money well spent, I hope.

62
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,260
Before we set off on
our travels again,

63
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:11,900
I'd promised a local radio station
a quick interview.

64
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,900
We went through a terrible period.

65
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:21,620
I got seriously ill in 1996,
I had leukaemia. I've got over it,

66
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,540
but it was a tough period.

67
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:26,820
Is that something that sort of
influenced you going to sea?

68
00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:30,100
Realising that perhaps life was
really out there?

69
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:33,660
What did I say to you, Shane,
when I was slightly delirious,

70
00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:37,700
we were going to get two things,
what did I say? Yeah, Rolls-Royce
and a boat.

71
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:41,540
The thing is that we probably
would not have ended up here

72
00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:43,780
if we hadn't been doing this,

73
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:47,300
and I can only say
what a lovely time we've had,

74
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:51,220
and we're going to go soon
and it's been delightful.

75
00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:53,340
That's great. You've been absolutely
lovely guests.

76
00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:55,260
We've been listening to
Deveron Radio.

77
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:57,340
We're fans, we're fans.

78
00:04:57,340 --> 00:05:00,020
When we can get it.

79
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:03,900
When our aerial dips below low tide,
we can't hear anything.

80
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:12,420
Weather permitting, we will be on
our way to Peterhead tomorrow.

81
00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:15,860
40 nautical miles away and past
the treacherous Rattray Head.

82
00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:22,340
Oh, please, let us wake up in the
morning so it's like this tomorrow,

83
00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:26,620
because that trip we had out from
Buckie was terrifying.

84
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:44,420
The gods are smiling on us,

85
00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:48,980
it's a glorious morning for us
mariners,

86
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:54,060
which is just as well, since today,
we're taking on Rattray Head.

87
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,540
Rattray Head is my new bogeyman.

88
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:02,540
I'll probably come up here
and go round it

89
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,620
because the first place
we're going to go to from Banff

90
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,180
is Peterhead. Peter-heid!

91
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:11,540
Every time you go, "We're going
round the corner," they all go,

92
00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:14,980
"Aye, Rattray Head. Ay, hey, ah.

93
00:06:14,980 --> 00:06:18,620
"Rattray Head, och, ooh."

94
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:22,540
So, everybody is saying it,

95
00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:26,380
even people who have never been in
a boat go, "Ooh, Rattray Head, hey."

96
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:31,180
Warnings duly noted, and we're off.

97
00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:34,420
I should be all right,

98
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:37,580
it's not like I haven't
done this before.

99
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,820
It's been a lovely place, hasn't it?

100
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:53,580
It's been a delightful winter,

101
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,700
albeit a difficult place to get to.

102
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:08,380
They're guillemots. Kittiwakes.

103
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:11,500
I don't think they are gannets,
those long-winged birds.

104
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,700
No, they're guillemots.

105
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:18,020
Look at them, all just going round
in a circle. They're all gannets.

106
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,220
I don't think they are gannets.

107
00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:23,060
They are. They're not gannets.

108
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,980
They are, he said, Keith,
whatever his name is.

109
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,900
'Gannets or guillemots, I just hope
they are a sign of good luck

110
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,620
'because this is big journey
for us.'

111
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:38,980
For the first time since we were
down in Cornwall,

112
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,540
we are going actually south.

113
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:46,540
'We're about to turn the final
corner, to head south towards home,

114
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:49,180
'but lurking round Rattray Head

115
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:51,420
'is a south-westerly wind.'

116
00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:53,140
Here we go, let's have a go at this.

117
00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:58,460
Are we coming round?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

118
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,540
It hits the land.

119
00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:05,780
Here comes a big wave, so hold on.

120
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:11,580
And another one.

121
00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:16,540
I wouldn't want to be out here
in a gale, I tell you, crikey.

122
00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:19,060
Are you going round Rattray?

123
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:22,060
That's Rattray Head there, look.

124
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:25,580
Rat trap head. I don't care for you,
rat trap.

125
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:30,460
On the whole, I'd rather have
the Lizard.

126
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:35,900
The weather has definitely changed.

127
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:38,460
Maybe the people in Banff,
who warned me, had a point.

128
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:44,460
This is one of the reasons why
many of them just don't take it on.

129
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:46,940
All you got to do is look at this.

130
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:52,300
See all these little things?
Do you know what they are?

131
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,660
Wrecks.

132
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,700
Shit.

133
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,140
This is rough.

134
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:10,500
You never know
what's going to happen, do you?

135
00:09:13,780 --> 00:09:16,060
When we left, beautiful sunny day,

136
00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,380
like flippin' Regent's Park lake,

137
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:20,500
now look at it.

138
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:26,100
This isn't quite what I had in mind

139
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:30,460
when I was on my deathbed
dreaming of taking to the seas.

140
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:36,180
And as always, my darling Shane
has come along for the ride.

141
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,780
My God!

142
00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:46,660
This is horrible.

143
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:53,340
Well, the wind's blowing,
at the moment,

144
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:55,980
16 knots,

145
00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:58,700
so that's a force five,
four or five.

146
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:02,460
So these would be regarded as
not rough.

147
00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:07,860
I'm just a bit worried now

148
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:10,580
about getting into Peterhead.

149
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:15,140
About the approach.

150
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,140
Shane, I'm going to turn the boat
in a minute.

151
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:23,340
I know. So brace yourself. I am.

152
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,820
Can I come out? Mmm.

153
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,500
Oh, my word.

154
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:59,380
Peterhead, we've made it.

155
00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:03,300
That was like being in
a washing machine.

156
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,140
I mean, how bizarre is this?

157
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:08,220
From what we've just been through

158
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:10,060
to the flat calm of this?

159
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,220
Horrifying, that was horrifying.

160
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,060
We were going over

161
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,420
10, 15-foot waves,

162
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:25,140
smashing into the next one. Where do
you go, where do you go from here?

163
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,980
There's nowhere to go.
I can't go, "Mum."

164
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:31,660
Or, "Shane, I've had enough."

165
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:32,820
Ooh...

166
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,700
Gently does it, gently Bentley.

167
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:44,300
Oh, lovely.

168
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:47,900
Peterhead sits at the easternmost
point of mainland Scotland.

169
00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:53,380
The huge breakwaters
protecting the port

170
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,260
were built by prison inmates
in the late 19th century.

171
00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:02,300
If that ain't attached to anything,
I'm going to scream.

172
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:07,500
It's often referred to as
the 'Blue Toon'

173
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:11,780
on account of the blue stockings
the fishermen once wore.

174
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:13,860
Not much sign of them now.

175
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,340
Here we are, though, look.

176
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:17,540
What an amazing place!

177
00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,420
There's a sort of beauty to that,
though, isn't there? I love it.

178
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,900
I know a lot of people go, "Ooh,
I don't like it, gas cylinders."

179
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:25,900
We've always loved stuff like that.

180
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:28,620
And I believe that's the prison
up there.

181
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:32,060
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.
I did all right there, didn't I?

182
00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,300
I've underestimated the North Sea,

183
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:54,140
and that last journey
has filled me with dread.

184
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,580
For the first part of the journey,
we were like that,

185
00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:59,580
for the first three hours.

186
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:02,460
When we got to Rattray Head...

187
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:05,900
..we were doing that.

188
00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:09,380
It was like biblical,
it was horrendous,

189
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,900
it was like the roughest sea
I've ever been in.

190
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:19,020
The North Sea is dangerous.
You cannot sugarcoat it.

191
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:22,540
You know, you can't mess with it,
you can't say,

192
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,100
"Oh, I love it here, let's stay for
a couple of weeks."

193
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:29,100
If it's behaving itself,
that's when you go.

194
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:32,380
I've read that there's a chance that
the North Sea is calmer

195
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:34,660
the further south you go,

196
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:37,460
so as much as I love the beauty of
this part of Scotland,

197
00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:38,820
we're not hanging around.

198
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:44,300
We're off to Stonehaven, which means

199
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:47,540
going back out into
the North Sea again.

200
00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:53,020
I'm anxious, I'm nervous, because
we got such a battering, and, er...

201
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:56,500
you never know what's going to
happen, really.

202
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:59,540
So once I've calmed down and got
my sea legs...

203
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:01,780
Do you know what
I'm looking forward to?

204
00:14:01,780 --> 00:14:04,340
Going back on the River Thames.

205
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:08,420
Don't hold your breath, that's
six months away, if we're lucky.

206
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,340
We know the boat can take it now,

207
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:13,220
but someone was standing on the beach
at Rattray Head,

208
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,380
and they saw us through
the binoculars,

209
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:20,500
and they were really worried and they
were going to call the coastguard.

210
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:23,020
Because we were moving about so much.

211
00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:29,820
I think that's Slains Castle...

212
00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:35,220
..where Bram Stoker,

213
00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:38,660
so the story goes,
so the legend has it,

214
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:41,780
once upon a time, and all that,

215
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:46,940
that this Slains Castle,
which is a ruin,

216
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:50,460
it was the model for
Dracula's castle.

217
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:52,060
Count MacDracula.

218
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:59,460
As tempting as it is, it's not going
to stop us heading south,

219
00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:04,100
especially as the North Sea could
play up at any moment.

220
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,340
There we go, look at that.

221
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:17,380
How many people have the opportunity
to go past one of the big,
great Scottish cities?

222
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:19,380
I'll keep my eye on that door,

223
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:21,980
I don't want it to chop my flippin'
arm off.

224
00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:24,380
That is Aberdeen.

225
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:28,220
Those tower blocks, there.

226
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:31,500
That is the big seaport town of
north-east Scotland.

227
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,180
The Granite City.

228
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:39,260
Or, as a taxi driver said
the other day,

229
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:42,940
"Aye, it's cos it's all grey and
drab. That's why they call it that."

230
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:44,500
"It's made out of granite."

231
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:47,580
"Aye, but granite
IS grey and drab."

232
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,980
It's actually rather attractive.

233
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,220
When Matilda was moored up in Banff
for winter,

234
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,860
we came up a few times for
short holidays.

235
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:03,660
I love it, extremely friendly people

236
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:06,820
and it's not really on
the tourist trail.

237
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:11,620
Not like the west side,
which is lovely,

238
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:15,460
but this side, you know,

239
00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:19,300
you really get a sense of
an unspoiltness about the place.

240
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:23,820
You know, it's suffering
a little bit from lack of work,

241
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:27,140
and things like that,

242
00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:32,580
but it's a really lovely
unspoilt place.

243
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:37,620
I can see the harbour.

244
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:44,020
Actually, I'm telling complete lies,
I can't see it at all.

245
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:52,860
We've certainly had our ups and
downs on this trip.

246
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:56,940
Coming round Rattray Head,
we faced a biblical storm,

247
00:16:56,940 --> 00:17:00,700
but today, someone seems to have
moved Stonehaven.

248
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,300
Where is it?

249
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:07,380
Over there.
Sorry, I'm just concentrating, love.

250
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:09,340
Have you seen it?

251
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,140
Yeah, that's it there, yeah.

252
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,100
There, look.

253
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,900
Phew. It's still here.

254
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:32,420
Stonehaven has actually been here
since the Iron Age,

255
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:36,260
so I would have been slightly miffed
if it had suddenly moved.

256
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:42,140
It's got a rich historical past,

257
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:46,740
playing a part in the first battle
of the Civil War in 1639.

258
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:51,500
There's also an unfinished
war memorial

259
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:55,140
to commemorate the local lives lost
in the Great War.

260
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:58,020
It has been deliberately unfinished

261
00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:01,340
to mirror the unfinished lives of
those young men.

262
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,700
We're being welcomed by
harbour master Jim Brown.

263
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,900
Hi, Mr Brown, I presume?

264
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,820
Pleased to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well.

265
00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:15,660
I tell you what, after Rattray Head,
that was nothing.

266
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:20,060
The journey isn't quite over.

267
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,140
Just one last stop.

268
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:26,180
The best Indian in Stonehaven.

269
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:28,020
There's an Indian
in the middle of town.

270
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,860
If you go up into the main street,

271
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:33,500
along the main street on your right,
there's an Indian there.

272
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:37,980
That's always our ritual,
whatever port we go to,
whatever place we turn up in,

273
00:18:37,980 --> 00:18:41,060
Wales, England, Ireland, Scotland,
Isle of Man,

274
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:42,420
we always go straight for an Indian.

275
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,940
It's a pleasure to meet you, mate.
Real pleasure to meet you.

276
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,780
And you. I'll see you
in the morning, then.

277
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:51,260
Cheers, really, thanks a lot, Jim.
Thanks very much.

278
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:56,300
Nice, isn't it?

279
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:58,340
Isn't it lovely?

280
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:09,820
Stonehaven harbour was developed
in the 1820s by Robert Stevenson,

281
00:19:09,820 --> 00:19:12,900
the grandfather of the great
Robert Louis Stevenson.

282
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:18,020
And it became the centre of trade
for silver darlings.

283
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:21,660
That's herring to you and me.

284
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,340
I wonder if they're on the menu?

285
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:36,140
Regretfully, one night in Stonehaven
has to be enough for us

286
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:39,340
because very soon,
we'll be on our way south again.

287
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,820
When I was with this,
full of wine and booze,

288
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:48,540
and I stopped in the pub
and the missus of the pub said,

289
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:52,780
"My husband said if I ever get
one of them, he'll kill me."

290
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:59,740
I said, "Well, thing is, when you
haven't got a car, you know,

291
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:03,940
"it's the best way of transporting
your shopping."

292
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:09,380
So I will do my best impersonation
of a man...

293
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:11,500
with a modicum of dignity,

294
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:14,100
pulling an old lady's trolley.

295
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,380
Auf wiedersehen!

296
00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:31,780
Now there's a fellow gent

297
00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:34,420
deeply impressed with my trolley.

298
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:35,700
Our next destination

299
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:38,460
takes us out of Aberdeenshire

300
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,180
for the first time in six months,

301
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:42,620
as we head towards Arbroath

302
00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:44,740
and the county of Angus.

303
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:49,460
We leave on a sea of tranquility...

304
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:54,940
..go through a three-hour cycle
in the washing machine again...

305
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:03,300
..and arrive on a sea of
tranquility.

306
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,620
The North Sea is doing my head in.

307
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:11,020
So when we came out of there,

308
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:17,100
it was like we were in the flippin'
Caribbean on a beautiful day,
nothing.

309
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:21,100
All of a sudden,
bang, bang, bang, bang.

310
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:24,220
It was a bit scary.

311
00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:28,380
But it's better than sitting home
watching 'Flog It!'

312
00:21:30,340 --> 00:21:36,340
The Americans use a wonderful term
when you're getting over-stressed,

313
00:21:36,340 --> 00:21:40,420
'Hey, it is decompress.
We need to decompress.'

314
00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:44,820
Which is, actually,
we've got the bends,

315
00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:47,740
we need to go into
a bends tank of relaxation.

316
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:52,220
Yeah. That's the flippin' North Sea,
it seems to me.

317
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:54,220
'But this is no time to hang about,

318
00:21:54,220 --> 00:21:56,340
'we've got to get to calmer waters

319
00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:59,740
'and we're now just 60 nautical
miles from the English border

320
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:04,220
'and, hopefully, a less turbulent
North Sea.

321
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:08,100
'But there is time to visit

322
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:10,540
'one last Scottish port, Eyemouth.'

323
00:22:17,980 --> 00:22:20,740
That's the Isle of May, out there.

324
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:27,140
That's Bass Rock.

325
00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:31,020
RADIO INDISTINCT

326
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:34,220
Beautiful. Let's hope
it stays this way, eh?

327
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:38,460
When we get, if and when we get
to Eyemouth,

328
00:22:38,460 --> 00:22:44,660
Eyemouth is only about seven miles
from the border.

329
00:22:44,660 --> 00:22:47,500
About seven miles north of Berwick.

330
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,580
This is nice. Beautiful.

331
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:56,420
Don't forget...
when we were on the Irish Sea,

332
00:22:56,420 --> 00:22:59,900
we had land to our left
and land to our right,

333
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:04,140
and land to our north
and land to our south.

334
00:23:04,140 --> 00:23:06,260
Across there,

335
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:10,060
400, 350 miles away, is Norway.

336
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,500
And about

337
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,700
2,000 miles that way

338
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,900
is Eastern Siberia.

339
00:23:20,980 --> 00:23:24,180
So there's a lot of sea here.

340
00:23:24,180 --> 00:23:25,660
This is a nice day,

341
00:23:25,660 --> 00:23:29,420
it's only a six-foot swell.

342
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:31,860
Just hope it stays like this.

343
00:23:33,460 --> 00:23:36,140
I'm really looking forward to going
back to England.

344
00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:39,900
I'm looking forward to going into
Newcastle.

345
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:44,340
I'm looking forward to
Whitby, Skegness.

346
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:48,180
We've been in Scotland now for six
months. It's not bad, is it, really?

347
00:23:52,740 --> 00:23:55,740
Look at the planes going over.
Spitfires, look.

348
00:23:55,740 --> 00:23:57,140
Look.

349
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,900
They're not Spitfires.

350
00:24:06,180 --> 00:24:09,860
Alas, not Spitfires.
Of course they're not Spitfires!

351
00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:13,980
Completely random, though.
'Definitely not gannets.

352
00:24:15,460 --> 00:24:18,860
'Eyemouth is in the Scottish Borders

353
00:24:18,860 --> 00:24:21,100
'and has been a major fishing port
since the 13th century.

354
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:26,380
'In 1881, it was struck by

355
00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:29,100
'one of the worst east coast
fishing disasters,

356
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:32,900
'when 129 men and 20 boats
were lost at sea.

357
00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:36,340
'And judging by the way
this sea can turn on you,

358
00:24:36,340 --> 00:24:40,500
'we understand how
that could have happened.'

359
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:44,460
There's even cannons up there.

360
00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:51,820
Thank you very much.

361
00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:57,460
Hi, there, good afternoon to you.
How are you? I'm all right.

362
00:24:57,460 --> 00:25:00,060
I don't know what's happening to
the weather, I've got to check it.

363
00:25:00,060 --> 00:25:01,980
I think it will probably be
one night, maybe two,

364
00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:03,700
but we don't know,
if that's all right?

365
00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:06,220
Yeah, I'll let you know.
No problem.

366
00:25:06,220 --> 00:25:10,260
We'll be on the scene in the morning
at seven o'clock. OK.

367
00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:14,140
Anyway, I'm going to do my greaser
and do all that. Yes, get shipshape.

368
00:25:14,140 --> 00:25:17,340
Thank you so much. You're very
welcome. We will see you tomorrow.

369
00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:20,020
Charming. A pleasure meeting you.
A pleasure meeting you, mate.

370
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:23,860
This is our last stop
before we cross the border

371
00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:27,820
to the first port in England
from here, Seahouses.

372
00:25:30,140 --> 00:25:33,900
Right, general...
"Seahouses is a split personality.

373
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:37,420
"This busy traditional scenic town
has been horrendously modified

374
00:25:37,420 --> 00:25:40,980
"to cater for a vast season..."
Horrendous,

375
00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:42,540
that's not very nice, is it?

376
00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:44,660
No. "..a vast season of
weekend tourist trade,

377
00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:48,260
"not only from day visitors, but
also from a rash of caravan sites."

378
00:25:48,260 --> 00:25:50,820
Oh, snobby!

379
00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:52,900
"Pick a quiet time,
it is very attractive,

380
00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:56,540
"with splendid beach walks
in both directions..."

381
00:25:56,540 --> 00:26:00,700
If you possibly can, please try
to avoid the working class,

382
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:05,700
as they eat ice creams, drop litter
and are rather unattractive!

383
00:26:05,700 --> 00:26:10,100
You're just making that up, Timmy.
It's what it says. No, it's not.

384
00:26:11,740 --> 00:26:16,620
If you ever come across anybody
declaring themselves a Geordie,

385
00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:19,260
give them a wide berth.

386
00:26:19,260 --> 00:26:22,260
They are dangerous
and can be volatile.

387
00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:25,620
That's what it says!

388
00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:29,260
How dare they? Some of my
favourite people, the Geordies.

389
00:26:29,260 --> 00:26:33,780
Before we leave for Seahouses
and its rash of caravan sites,

390
00:26:33,780 --> 00:26:37,220
we have decided to put a message
in a bottle

391
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:41,260
to mark the crossing of the border
from Scotland to England.

392
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:47,380
Is it too fat to go in? No. It might
be too fat to come out, though.

393
00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:54,860
What are you going to do,
just dip the end in it? I think so.

394
00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:57,100
I don't know.

395
00:26:57,100 --> 00:27:00,900
It stinks. Yeah. That should do it,
shouldn't it?

396
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:05,020
There, that was good.

397
00:27:05,020 --> 00:27:08,740
Hurrah!

398
00:27:08,740 --> 00:27:10,260
It's our message in a bottle.

399
00:27:12,820 --> 00:27:14,580
How is it out there?

400
00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:15,980
INDISTINCT REPLY

401
00:27:15,980 --> 00:27:19,100
Perfect, just how I like it.

402
00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:27,020
Oh, it's lovely and flat, isn't it?
Yeah.

403
00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:29,500
Ready?

404
00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:32,740
Both hands together.

405
00:27:34,380 --> 00:27:38,060
Hold your hands together,
and I'll kiss it as well.

406
00:27:38,060 --> 00:27:40,380
Kiss it like that.

407
00:27:40,380 --> 00:27:41,820
Right.

408
00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:44,260
Right, I want you to throw it.

409
00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:47,460
As hard as you can,
and don't break it.

410
00:27:47,460 --> 00:27:50,420
I'll throw it through the window.

411
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:52,500
Are you ready? Make a wish.

412
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:54,700
Go on, then...

413
00:27:54,700 --> 00:27:55,980
Yay!

414
00:27:56,980 --> 00:27:58,540
Oh, it's floating.

415
00:27:58,540 --> 00:28:00,260
Of course it's floating.

416
00:28:00,260 --> 00:28:03,940
No-one's going to find it
if it's going to sink, are they?

417
00:28:09,420 --> 00:28:12,540
I've been, to a certain degree,
an adopted son of Newcastle.

418
00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:14,100
I mean, we have to do it,

419
00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:17,660
got to go under the Tyne Bridge,
haven't we?

420
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:21,980
I could play him.
We don't look unalike, do we?

421
00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:28,060
The forecast says
there's a slight...

422
00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:29,580
No, looks all right.

423
00:28:32,380 --> 00:28:34,620
We're going backwards, I expect.

424
00:28:34,620 --> 00:28:36,700
I think we might have to
turn round, love.

425
00:28:51,540 --> 00:28:53,580
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

426
00:28:53,580 --> 00:28:57,580
# Somewhere at sea. #