1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,400
'The seas around Britain
can be terrifying.'

2
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,280
Want a sandwich?

3
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:14,480
'Over the last six years, I've been
chugging through them in a barge.

4
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,000
'I'm Timothy Spall.

5
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,360
'With my wife Shane, I'm close to
completing our odyssey

6
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,080
'around the British Isles.

7
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:32,320
'We've tackled some raging seas.'
Hold on, Shane - hold on, hold on.

8
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,520
'Had some bumps and scrapes...'

9
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,080
BANGING

10
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,440
'We've travelled almost 2,000 miles,

11
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,400
'visiting every country
in the United Kingdom.

12
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,000
'In this final leg,

13
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,240
'we're heading back home to London
via the Thames Estuary.

14
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,520
'notorious for dangerous sandbanks
and huge tankers.'

15
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,600
This is where we started out.

16
00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:01,640
'It's an emotional journey
as we return to the place
where our adventures began.'

17
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,040
We're going round in a circle again!

18
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,560
'That's of course...
if we can find it.'

19
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:12,000
We heading for a big barge, Timmy -
can you see that? What?

20
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,120
CRASH

21
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,800
# Somewhere at sea. #

22
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,680
'We're only 100 miles from London,

23
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:33,600
'heading down the east coast of
England towards the Thames Estuary.'

24
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:39,440
Just a gentle, lazy swell. To remind
you that you're on the sea.

25
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,480
I asked for it, I prayed for it -
I ordered this. I ordered it up.

26
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:49,520
I requested it. From above - please,
please - give me just a gentle day.

27
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,440
'15 years ago, I was
seriously ill with leukaemia -

28
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,200
'it nearly killed me.

29
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,080
'But in surviving,

30
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,760
'I was left with irresistible urge
to live on the sea.'

31
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,960
It wasn't till I was ill, obviously,

32
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,840
that part of the keeping myself sane

33
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:17,320
during that was thinking about what
I would do if and when I recovered.

34
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:22,080
That's when I started to feel
the call of the sea.

35
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,000
The one thing I wish
I had done though...

36
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,200
It's...

37
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,160
Cos it's a compulsion,

38
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:35,120
I just wish that my nerves hadn't
increased in my experience.

39
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,600
I can't quite explain that.

40
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,760
It's probably as my mother said
of her mother, "I can't help it,

41
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,400
"it's the way my mother
put my hat on".

42
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:55,080
'The Thames Estuary is the part of
the North Sea that feeds

43
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,800
'the River Thames.

44
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:01,320
'It's one of the largest estuaries
in Britain and we're entering it

45
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,120
'at its northernmost tip -
Felixstowe.

46
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:12,840
'Because the estuary is the entrance
to one of Europe's biggest cities,

47
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,040
'it's a magnet for cargo ships.'

48
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,960
Look at that. Flipping Oxford Street
going into port.

49
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,000
'Felixstowe docks -
the busiest in Britain.

50
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:29,560
'40% of the country's imports
and exports pass through here.

51
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,520
'They're even expanding the docks

52
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:36,080
'so they can take ships that carry
18,000 of those containers.'

53
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,600
Shotley Point Marina,
Shotley Point Marina,

54
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:42,280
Shotley Point Marina,
this is the Princess Matilda, over.

55
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,920
'Matilda is no match
for ships of that size.

56
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,840
'So we're heading across the bay
to the relatively tranquil

57
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,400
'Shotley Marina.'

58
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,320
Hi, Thames coastguard -
Princess Matilda,

59
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:58,600
as instructed, we're reporting
our safe arrival in Shotley Marina.

60
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,720
Thank you very much, Thames.
Nice to be back in the Thames.
Hello, Thames!

61
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:07,080
Nice to be back in the Thames after
our circumnavigation and this is

62
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,280
the first time I've called Thames,
so thank you very much. Over.

63
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:15,200
'Thames, Roger. I do recognise
the voice. OK then. Thames out.

64
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,840
Right.

65
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,080
That was nice. Yeah.

66
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,720
HE DOES IMPRESSION OF
RADIO CONVERSATION

67
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,600
'Shotley was once the home
to HMS Ganges -

68
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,520
'a wooden warship that was used as a
training vessel for Navy recruits.

69
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,760
'At the turn of the century,
the whole area was turned into

70
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:46,600
'a training ground until 1976,
when it was closed
and became this marina.'

71
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,920
This is all the Ganges site.

72
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:54,520
Behind those trees of the old mast,
where the boys climb the top.

73
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,800
You get the button boy at the top.
Really?

74
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,520
This is actually
the old running track,

75
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:05,560
which was low and they just dug it
out a bit more, built the lock,
there you go.

76
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:14,800
'Over 150,000 Navy recruits
learned their craft here.

77
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,240
'But today, we got our own recruit.'

78
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,240
Frankie!

79
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,760
'Our dear friend, and fellow actor -
Frances Barber.' Morning!

80
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,280
Where did the cab driver drop you
off, Felixstowe? At the shipwreck!

81
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,200
'She's never been on Matilda before,

82
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,040
'but she's enrolled to come with us
all the way back to London.'

83
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,600
It's so much bigger than
I imagined, because on the sea,

84
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:43,360
when you are passing huge boats,
you look like a dinky toy.

85
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:44,840
Miniscule, I know.

86
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:47,560
Then when you're on it,
it's actually enormous.

87
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:51,080
We're going to introduce you to
the sea in a very light way,

88
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,960
were only going to go
7½ miles today.

89
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,960
We come out into the sea here,

90
00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,920
go into a place called
the Walton Backwaters.

91
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,560
I want an idyll. We want an idyll.

92
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,560
We want a bucolic, maritime idyll.

93
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:20,560
'The River Thames may be
our final destination,

94
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,600
'but the estuary
stretches across three counties.'

95
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,400
This is the Thames Estuary?

96
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:30,960
The beginning of the Thames Estuary,
yeah. I thought we were in Suffolk.

97
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,200
We are. We're going to be in Essex
in a minute. Look...

98
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,480
Where are we?

99
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,600
Up here.

100
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,400
There's Margate. Oh...
So we're here.

101
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,120
That is the beginning
of the Thames Estuary. Wow!

102
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,960
We are a tiny little island,
aren't we?

103
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,840
'The Walton Backwaters are
a complete contrast to Felixstowe.

104
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:58,400
'There's 7,000 acres of mudflats
with a protected nature reserve.'

105
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,360
Those are old wrecks, look.
The old wrecks - barges, there.

106
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:09,400
'Sunken barges like these were
the inspiration for Arthur Ransome,

107
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,800
'author of Swallows And Amazons,

108
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,760
'to set some of his
children's books here.'

109
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:15,960
We're on. We're here.

110
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,440
'He sailed around the Walton
Backwaters in his cutter,

111
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,240
'the Nancy Blackett, in 1938

112
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,560
'and very little has changed here
since then.'

113
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,760
I think it's lovely. I think
it's a really interesting place.

114
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,760
And the interesting thing
about the estuary...

115
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,280
This is all the entrance to one of
the biggest metropolises...

116
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:43,840
Don't forget London, 100 years ago,
was the centre of the world.

117
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:48,280
All these little places here,
all these places - Felixstowe,

118
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,720
where we've just been, Margate...

119
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,720
All these places have made
their name and have created

120
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,200
their wealth through being
the gateway

121
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,360
to the largest city of the Empire.

122
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,960
'Soon, we'll be going back
to London too.

123
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,240
'But while we're here,
I want to walk along the prom.'

124
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,240
'We're leaving Matilda
to explore Walton on the Naze,

125
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:16,000
'which in Victorian times
was a rival to Blackpool.'

126
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,680
Someone braving the sea!

127
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,560
'People flocked here

128
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,880
'to sample the fresh air and one of
the longest piers in Britain.

129
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,160
'When the war came,
it was heavily bombed

130
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,360
'and the pier almost destroyed.

131
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,800
'By the time it had got back
on its feet,

132
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,080
'people were holidaying abroad.'

133
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:41,200
Look, I mean... It's August.

134
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,840
It's the middle of the English
tourist season,

135
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,800
the kids are on holiday.

136
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,800
It's like... It's like Dodge City
after everybody's gone.

137
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,120
Do you think when the sun comes out,
there's people in there,

138
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,560
going, "ha ha!"

139
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:03,040
It's a lovely place, but what is
very encouraging is the sea -

140
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,360
it looks good to me.

141
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,640
I want to get back and get going.

142
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:25,000
'We're heading just 25 miles down
the coast to Brightlingsea, Essex.

143
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:30,040
'We're passing a town that
reminds me of my seaside holidays.'

144
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,560
Clacton used to have
Butlins holiday camp.

145
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:36,640
I've still got a badge somewhere
in a drawer,

146
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:40,520
19...62 or something.

147
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,520
'Four years earlier, in 1958,

148
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,920
'the Butlins here is where
Cliff Richard played his first gig.

149
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,760
'Shame I missed it.

150
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,320
'Mind you, I was just a baby then,

151
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,200
'so my mum would have left me
in the chalet.'

152
00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:02,120
They had nannies who cycled
around the chalets and listened.

153
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:06,200
There was a thing in the corner -
it would come up

154
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,920
and say, "baby crying
in chalet six".

155
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,400
"Excuse me, excuse me...
I think that's us."

156
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:18,800
It's amazing. When you think of
what an innocent age we lived in.

157
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,440
Innocent Clacton, gone for ever.

158
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,400
Just before.

159
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,120
SEAGULLS CRY

160
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,560
'Before we went to sea,
we were moored in Chatham,

161
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,280
'on the banks of
the River Medway in Kent.

162
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,560
'We spent many months here, daring
ourselves to go out into the sea.

163
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,760
'Six years later,
I'm preparing to return there

164
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,120
'and complete my circumnavigation
of Britain.'

165
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:23,360
We used to go out into this body
of water here. All this is water.

166
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:27,760
These dark bits are sandbanks -
loads of them.

167
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,360
It's up here where
we first ran aground.

168
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:34,040
'I need to plan this route carefully
and quickly.

169
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,040
'I don't want to get there
in the dark.'

170
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,280
Ship ahoy, darling.

171
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:43,520
'But I have more to worry about
than plotting the route.

172
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,760
'For this special journey,
we've enlisted another recruit.'

173
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,640
Here he is. Where's the Spall?
Darling!

174
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,320
'Rennie is my best
and one of my oldest friends.

175
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,680
'While it's great to see him,
I've got to get planning.'

176
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:04,240
I'm going to ignore you, cos I've
got things to do. Don't look at him.

177
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,120
'Not so easy with so many people
on board.'

178
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:11,640
I don't know where I got it from.
I thought it was the beginning of
a tattoo or something.

179
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,920
Cos it looks very
sort of symmetrical.

180
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,920
My godson.

181
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,560
Who is a Hollywood star-to-be.

182
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:23,120
Did you have a nice time, darling?

183
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,360
I did. Stop talking to Rennie, Tim.

184
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,280
Don't talk to me.
We'll have a drink.

185
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,920
'I've not had enough time
to plot the last part of my course.

186
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,480
'We should have left
half an hour ago.'

187
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:44,640
This is driving me nuts,
all I've got to do is this.
Right, we're getting ready to roll.

188
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,640
'As we head off for the last leg,
right on cue,

189
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,760
'my fear of the sea kicks in.'

190
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,920
HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

191
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,920
I'm at the end of my tether,
I'm nearly gone.

192
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:09,640
I've got about that much...
Only Shane is keeping...

193
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,960
Only Shane is keeping my nerve.

194
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,520
'The good news is
that it's only 40 miles

195
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,880
'from Brightlingsea to Chatham.'

196
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,080
Don't want any big ships
coming in or out...

197
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,720
'The bad news is,

198
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:31,920
'I have to get my timing spot-on
to stand any chance of
beating the tide.

199
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:36,880
'This estuary has some of the
fastest tidal movements in Britain,

200
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,880
'which can catch unwary mariners
by surprise.'

201
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,640
That out there - those eerie-looking
masts sticking out of the water,

202
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,840
surrounded by buoys.

203
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:51,000
That's the wreck of
the USS General Montgomery.

204
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:55,440
Not only is it a very eerie thing,
it's very bloody dangerous.

205
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,200
It's got 1,800 tonnes of
unexploded bombs on it

206
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,800
from the Second World War.

207
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,280
Evidently, if it went up,

208
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,880
it would take a quarter of
the Isle of Sheppey with it!

209
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,680
They leave it where it is
because it keeps it cool.

210
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,240
Too dangerous to move.

211
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:24,400
'The mouth of the Medway
is a centre of industry,

212
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,640
'with huge power stations
and considerable shipping traffic.'

213
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,120
I cannot believe, Shane...

214
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:35,240
I cannot BELIEVE... What?
We are actually back here.

215
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,400
This is where we started out.

216
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,880
'We're entering what feels like
a big lake -

217
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,960
'10 square miles of water
surrounded by land.

218
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,800
'I need to find Chatham
on the narrow part of the river...

219
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,240
'But the light is fading fast.'

220
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:01,800
It's such a huge place, you can't
actually see where you're heading.

221
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:06,560
I didn't put this part of our
journey into my navigation system.

222
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:12,080
It's all about memory now...
which doesn't seem to be working.

223
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,960
It's been six years since we've
been here. I can't remember it.

224
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,560
Yes, you can.

225
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,680
That's Gillingham up there.

226
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,800
So, we're going to be going that way.
Are you sure?

227
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,160
No. It's totally alien, basically.

228
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,760
But we used to live here! I know!
Now, I can't remember where we are.

229
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,880
Well, it says... It says,
"You're here."

230
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,080
Yeah, we are here!

231
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,160
'I'm starting to get
even more nervous.

232
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:45,600
'I don't know where we are but I do
recognise this feeling of dread.'

233
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,560
Right, now, I've got to really
keep my wits about me, now.

234
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,920
I'm being very careful

235
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,400
because there are massive sandbanks
either side of here.

236
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:59,520
'It feels pretty close to where
we once ran aground,

237
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,920
'too close for comfort.'

238
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,920
Right, OK, OK. Right.

239
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,840
Where are you going now, Tim?
You're going backwards.

240
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,880
'I don't want the sea to beat me
right at the end of this adventure.

241
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:16,560
'I just need five minutes
to plot a course and we'll be
out of here in no time.'

242
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,520
Concentrate.

243
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,640
Concentrate.

244
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,120
I am lost, actually.

245
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,760
Right, well,
let's call the Coastguard, love,

246
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,000
and get someone to take us
to Chatham, shall we?

247
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,240
Before it is too late.
We're going around in circles.

248
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,760
We're getting totally confused,
darling.

249
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,680
I always said we would never call
the Coastguard,

250
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,680
we'd never call
the bloody lifeboat out, didn't I?

251
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,840
I've always said that.

252
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,720
Because we have been going around
in circles for an hour and a half.

253
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,760
Yeah, but if you just be quiet,
I'll try and work it out.

254
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,400
We've been trying to work it out,
Timmy, for an hour and a half.

255
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,920
No, we haven't. It's getting dark.
Just call the Coastguard.

256
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,360
What do you want we to do?
Call the Coastguard...

257
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,280
Hold that for a second,
please. ..please.

258
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,600
If I follow the lights on the buoys,

259
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,920
maybe they will guide me
towards Chatham.

260
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:16,440
That light, there. Yes,
that light. No, this light?

261
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,680
Yes, straight ahead.

262
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,960
'The problem is,
there are too many blinking lights.'

263
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,000
I'm completely confused. Where am I?

264
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,560
I don't know what I'm doing here.

265
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:33,760
Why isn't this working? I don't
know, I don't know, we're confused.

266
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,760
There's too many lights.
We're completely confused.

267
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,440
Follow the yacht.

268
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,480
What yacht? The one with the light
on. The yacht there.

269
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,680
What yacht?
You don't know where he's going.

270
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,320
We're heading for a big barge.
Timmy, can you see that?

271
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:54,320
What? What? We're heading for
a big barge. What barge? There!

272
00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:00,680
Will you please call the Coastguard?

273
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,640
'As captain of the ship, I know what
is best. And it's time for action.'

274
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,800
Right, OK, I'm going to take
a decision now. Good.

275
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,520
Right, I've made a decision, now.

276
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,480
Thames Coastguard,
Thames Coastguard,

277
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,760
Thames Coastguard,
this is the Princess Matilda over.

278
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,160
'Princess Matilda,
this is Thames coastguard.'

279
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,720
We're a little bit lost,
actually.

280
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,920
We're in the Medway and we're
trying to find our way down to,

281
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:32,480
um, uh... Chatham. Chatham Marina.

282
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,640
We got a bit lost and we're, uh,...

283
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:39,040
And it's dark. It's dark and we've...
My wife said it is dark.

284
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,280
'We've requested a boat
to come and assist you

285
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,480
'so they can guide you
towards Chatham.'

286
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,680
'The lifeboat is coming
to rescue us.'

287
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,720
Have you got glasses?
Glasses, anybody?

288
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:57,400
'I should be as happy
as Frankie and Shane

289
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:02,280
'but my heart feels as
if it has just hit a sandbank.'

290
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,960
My one desire,
never to call the lifeboat out,

291
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,520
has just been completely destroyed.

292
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,840
I used to think I knew
what I was doing.

293
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:16,720
Hello, guys.
I'm so sorry to call you out.

294
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,320
I said I would never do this.

295
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,720
I don't know what it is.

296
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,440
I'm either an idiot
or I don't know where I'm going.

297
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,360
Well, we can't comment on that one!
Oh, you can't comment on that!

298
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,560
'One of the crew comes on board
and shows me

299
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,360
'just how far off course I am.

300
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,440
'So far off course,
they're not taking us to Chatham.

301
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,720
'Instead, we're going to
nearby Queenborough.'

302
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,520
I mean,
I don't mind making a dick of myself

303
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,040
but I don't like to
inconvenience people.

304
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,120
So, I do appreciate
your wonderful work

305
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,680
and I'm sorry I had to call you out.

306
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,520
The positive side of it is
that we met you.

307
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,880
We met you
and you're lovely people.

308
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,080
That's where we...
That's where we got lost.

309
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,320
And do you know,
interestingly enough,

310
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,400
we got lost there

311
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,720
and the first time
I ever ran aground was there.

312
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,360
I just lost it, I lost it.

313
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:24,200
It was dark.
I lost it, Shane, I was useless.
There were too many lights.

314
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:28,560
It was disconcerting. We were going
around in circles, we were lost.

315
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,640
'The plan is to get Matilda to
Chatham today.

316
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:36,080
'It's only five miles away
but it feels like 500.'

317
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,840
I don't think I've got it in me,
Shane.

318
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,840
Yes, you have. I haven't.
I've had enough.

319
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,800
No, love,
you're going to get us to London.

320
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:46,800
I've had enough. When you get us to
London, you can have enough. Not now.

321
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,640
You're going to take us to Chatham.

322
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:06,160
I've lost faith in myself so many
times in these six years at sea

323
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,000
but somehow,
Shane never seems to.

324
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:13,520
My first instinct this morning was,
no, let him stay in bed,

325
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,760
let him stay in bed and he'd
fester and he would worry

326
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:21,000
and have a nervous breakdown.

327
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,440
So, I thought it was best for us
to get back out

328
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,920
and up on the river
and get back him into the saddle.

329
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,960
Things like this knock his confidence

330
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,400
but he's done the whole of
the British Isles, you know.

331
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,360
He's made one mistake, once.
We've only had one shout.

332
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,840
SHE KNOCKS ON WOOD

333
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,720
We were just dazzled.

334
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,560
'In the light of day,
I recognise everything so clearly.

335
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:50,560
'This is where my favourite writer
Charles Dickens set the meeting

336
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:55,520
'between Pip and Magwitch
in his classic Great Expectations.'

337
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,280
You can feel it in his writing,
this area.

338
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,600
It's full of demons and poltergeists

339
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,920
and wicked fairies
and kind fairies.

340
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:09,320
The ultimate example
of that is Magwitch, isn't he?

341
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:13,600
He is both good and bad
because he's like the criminal

342
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,080
but the one you fear and loathe
as a child

343
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,800
turns out to be his benefactor.

344
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,640
'It's exactly the type of scenery
that inspired me

345
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,200
'to explore my country
in the first place.'

346
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:35,240
The mix between rural beauty
and industrial endeavour.

347
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:40,520
There's something so...
quintessentially British about it.

348
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,920
But if it wasn't for
hulking great boats like that

349
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,320
and power stations like that
and, you know,

350
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:49,560
erm... rivers like this,

351
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,480
we wouldn't be the international
success that we are,

352
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,280
punching way above our weight,
would we?

353
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,920
That's what makes Britain
a wonderful place.

354
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:02,800
# I'm in hopes you'll think it over

355
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:07,120
# And perhaps be satisfied

356
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,280
# With a simple sort of person

357
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,760
# On the sentimental side. #

358
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,760
There's Chatham.

359
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:23,240
'As we approach Chatham,
more memories come flooding back.'

360
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,080
'It's so full of maritime
history here.

361
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,560
'It's the birthplace of so many
famous and heroic ships.'

362
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,880
Chatham Historical Dockyard, there.

363
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,160
That is where they built
the HMS Victory. Is it?

364
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,680
This is where Nelson left before
the Battle of Trafalgar. Really?

365
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,720
And this is St Mary's Island
which was a prison colony.

366
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,760
It's a place of melancholy
and misery.

367
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,280
Later on, maybe we'll have a walk.

368
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,480
'For Shane and me,

369
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:07,200
'this place has an extra special
and personal heritage.

370
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,520
'When we left here
all that time ago,

371
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,200
'I never dreamt
we'd actually do it.'

372
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,480
Are you all right?

373
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:19,320
Yeah. No, it's just really
emotional because we just spent

374
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:23,400
so much time here and knew it so well

375
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:27,000
and now, we're back, now.

376
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,040
We used to come along this jetty
every night

377
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,480
and go to that pub over there.

378
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,120
So, it's a bit weird.

379
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,280
You're in tears.

380
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,280
We're back.

381
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,760
We're here now.
We've done it, we're back!

382
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:25,760
'Shane and I have travelled
nearly two and a half thousand miles

383
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,360
'around the United Kingdom.'

384
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:32,600
I feel like Marco Polo, Francis
Drake, Dame Ellen MacArthur.

385
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,080
'We've moored in 91 ports,
visited four countries

386
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,880
'and made it back in one piece.

387
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,320
'Just about.'

388
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,960
Look, a dolphin!

389
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,040
Where? Look! He's got it!

390
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:50,520
'At the end of this wonderful
journey, there is one last stop.

391
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,760
'Back home to London.'

392
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,640
To the right of Canary Wharf.
We can see the Dome!

393
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,480
We can see the Dome!

394
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:05,360
Skip with this lovely
old bugger around Britain.

395
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:08,520
You know,
a lot has happened in that time.

396
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,560
Two of our kids have got married.
One has had a baby.

397
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,720
They have both
bought their own houses.

398
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,760
Shane has written a book,
she's got a publishing deal.

399
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,680
I've gone insane.

400
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,160
It's quite a lot to take on.

401
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,480
But it's been astounding.

402
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,800
Baptism of fire every day,
to a certain degree.

403
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:37,880
The one thing that, erm,
I didn't fully realise,

404
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,400
how connected it is,

405
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,120
how absolutely connected it is to
what happened to me when I was ill.

406
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,760
What happened to me 15 years ago,
going on 16,

407
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,520
is still with me in my soul.

408
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,000
And this, with Shane,

409
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:59,240
and our friends and with you
has either been a celebration

410
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,600
of life or two fingers up to
the fact that it tried to go away.

411
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,120
It is both a celebration

412
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:11,800
and a spit in the eye of the
audacity of fate trying to kill me.

413
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,840
So we went out
and tried to kill ourselves!

414
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,600
# Heaven

415
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,120
# I'm in heaven

416
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:25,880
# And my heart beats
so that I can hardly speak

417
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:32,560
# And I seem to find
the happiness I seek

418
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:36,640
# When we're out together
dancing cheek to cheek. #

419
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:42,320
Waiting to greet us
are close friends and family,

420
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,920
including our granddaughter Matilda.

421
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:52,000
With an audience on the pontoon,
I better not cock this up.

422
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,560
Now do that.
Now press that button.

423
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,360
There.

424
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:01,800
THEY CHEER

425
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,160
'We've taken the temperature
of the British Isles.

426
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,880
'The British people
and the feeling of the place

427
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,520
'is still incredibly healthy.'

428
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,040
Ooh!

429
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:24,200
'It's a great place and I wouldn't
want to live anywhere else.'

430
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,160
Cheers. Just don't tell your mum.
Cheers, cheers, cheers.

431
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,680
Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

432
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:42,080
# When shall I see
my lover come home from the sea?

433
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,760
# Hurry to me, great liner

434
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:52,360
# For you can make
my dreams come true

435
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:56,000
# Wherever you be

436
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,320
# Answer my plea

437
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,920
# Somewhere at sea. #