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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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( gears grind )
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YOU ARE PROBABLY
WONDERING WHAT I AM DOING
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DRIVING
A GERMAN ARMORED CAR.
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WELL, I HAVE BEEN
HELPING THE CAPTAIN
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TO BLOW UP A TRAIN
WITH A SAUSAGE ON IT.
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I KNOW, I KNOW THAT THIS
DOES NOT SOUND IMPORTANT,
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BUT IT IS.
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THE SAUSAGE IS BEING
SENT TO HITLER,
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WHO THINKS THAT IT CONTAINS
THE PRICELESS PORTRAIT
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OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES.
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THAT PAINTING IS, IN FACT,
IN THE SAUSAGE IN MY CELLAR.
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THAT FOUR-EYED BERK UP THERE
BEHIND THE GUN TURRET,
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WHO COULD NOT-- COULD NOT
HIT A BARN DOOR AT 20 PACES,
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FAILED TO HIT THE TRAIN.
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SO NOW, HITLER WILL RECEIVE
AN EMPTY SAUSAGE.
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WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
MY FRIEND,
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THE KNOCKWURST WILL
REALLY HIT THE FAN.
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HOWEVER, ONE DISASTER
AT A TIME.
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IF I CAN PARK THIS THING
BACK AT MY CAFE,
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BEFORE ANYBODY REALIZES
THAT WE HAVE NICKED IT,
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WELL, AT LEAST,
I WILL NOT GET DONE
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FOR TAKING AND DRIVING AWAY
AN ARMORED CAR
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WITHOUT THE PERMISSION
OF THE OWNER.
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HELGA,
YOU WILL DRIVE.
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DO NOT WORRY, LIEUTENANT,
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YOU MAY RELY ON THE GESTAPO
TO FIND YOUR MISSING TANK.
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WHEN WE DO, THE OCCUPANTS
WILL BE SHOT.
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BUT, COLONEL,
IT IS RATHER CHILLY,
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SHALL I PLACE THIS RUG
OVER OUR KNEES?
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NO, THE COLD AIR
WILL BE GOOD FOR US,
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PARTICULARLY YOU.
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WHICH WAY,
HERR FLICK?
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WE WILL FOLLOW
THE OBVIOUS TIRE MARKS
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OF THE STOLEN
ARMORED CAR.
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WHAT IS
GOING ON?
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THIS STUPID ENGLISHMAN
DISGUISED AS A POLICEMAN
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TOLD THE LIEUTENANT
THAT HIS TANK HAD BEEN STOLEN.
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I DID NIT KNOW
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THAT IT HAD BEEN
DROVE AWAR BY RENE,
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RENE WHO WALKS
IN THE BEER.
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IDIOT!
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Yvette: EDITH,
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HERR FLICK HAS A GUN.
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IF HE FINDS RENE,
HE WILL SHOOT HIM.
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OH, NO.
WE MUST RESCUE HIM.
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WE WILL FOLLOW.
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WE WILL USE THE BICYCLES
OF THE CUSTOMERS.
COME.
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MADAME EDITH,
DO YOU HAVE A SPANNER
OR A WRENCH?
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- TO HIT THEM WITH?
- I MUST LOWER MY SADDLE,
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OTHERWISE MY FEET
WILL NOT REACH THE PEDALS.
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SIT ON
THE CROSSBAR.
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AND WATCH OUT
FOR THAT 3-SPEED GEAR.
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UH, CAPTAIN?
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WHAT IS IT?
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A WORD OF WARNING.
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THIS TIME
MIND THE BRIDGE.
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THANK YOU, I WILL.
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- ( metal clangs )
- OOOH!
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Michelle:
THE AMMUNITION LORRY WILL
BE HERE IN A FEW MINUTES.
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LET US PUT IN PLACE
THE ROADBLOCK.
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( cows mooing )
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THE TRACKS ARE FAINT,
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BUT THEY ARE
STILL VISIBLE.
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STRAIGHT ON!
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YVETTE, MARIA,
PULL DOWN YOUR SKIRTS.
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YOU WANT TO GET
MY CAFE A BAD NAME?
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IT DOES NOT HURT
TO ADVERTISE.
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I MUST GO AND SEE
TO THE WELFARE
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OF THE BRITISH AIRMEN.
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HOW'RE YOU GETTING
ON THERE, CHAPS?
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- Fairfax: WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- YES, HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE
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HAVE TO STAY
OUT HERE?
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YOU ARE NOT DUE
FOR MILKING UNTIL 5:30.
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I'M JOLLY HUNGRY!
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HERE IS A BAR
OF CHOCOLATE.
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WE HAVE TO BLOW UP
AN AMMUNITION LORRY,
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THEN WE'LL SEE IF
WE CAN RUSTLE UP SOME SOUP.
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OH, GOOD SHOW.
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HENRIETTE, HAVE YOU CONNECTED
THE TERMINALS TO THE PLUNGER?
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- I HAVE.
- WHERE ARE
THE EXPLOSIVES?
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THEY'RE OVER THERE.
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THEY ARE BURIED
IN THE ROAD.
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GOOD.
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I SEE NO SIGN OF
THE AMMUNITION LORRY.
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LOOK, AN ARMORED CAR
IS APPROACHING
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FROM THE OTHER
DIRECTION.
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GET YOUR GUNS
AT THE READY.
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IF WE CAN HOLD IT UP
FOR A FEW MOMENTS
THE LORRY WILL BE HERE,
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AND WE CAN FULFILL
OUR MISSION FOR FRANCE.
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MICHELLE,
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YOU ARE
THE BRAVEST GIRL
THAT I KNOW.
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YOU TOO, HENRIETTE.
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GOD BLESS OUR MISSION.
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GOD BLESS FRANCE.
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WH-- WH-- WHAT IS THAT
IN THE ROAD?
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IT IS A FARM WAGON.
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IT IS VERY BADLY PARKED.
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STOP AND I WILL
GET OUT AND MOVE IT.
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READY?
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FIRE!
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( guns fire )
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ON SECOND THOUGHTS,
I WILL WAIT A BIT.
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RENE, QUICK,
A HANDKERCHIEF.
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ARE YOU WOUNDED?
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NO, I WISH TO SURRENDER.
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DON'T SHOOT!
WE GIVE UP!
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WHOO!
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STOP!
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IT IS THE WHITE FLAG
OF SURRENDER.
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LOOK, IT IS RENE.
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YOU TRAITOR!
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SO, YOU HAVE
JOINED THE GERMANS?
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THIS GENTLEMAN
KINDLY HELPED ME
TO BORROW THE TANK,
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SO WE COULD
BLOW UP THE TRAIN--
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THE ONE YOU REFUSED
TO BLOW UP
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BECAUSE YOU
WERE BLOWING UP
AN AMMUNITION LORRY.
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- THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE.
- YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
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AS SOON AS WE HEARD
YOU WERE BLOWING IT UP,
WE CANCELED IT.
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- WHO TOLD YOU?
- HE DID.
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OOPS, SHOULDN'T I
HAVE MENTIONED THAT?
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COLLABORATOR.
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MICHELLE, IT IS ALL PART
OF A VERY COMPLICATED PLAN
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TO DO WITH HITLER
AND A SAUSAGE,
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AND A LOT OF PAINTINGS WHICH
WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN.
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I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HALF OF IT MYSELF.
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A GESTAPO STAFF CAR
IS APPROACHING.
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- WHAT?
- OUR MISSION IS BLOWN.
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WE MUST SCARPER.
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QUICK!
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Colonel:
HANS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH HUBERT'S LITTLE TANK?
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Flick:
I, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION.
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WELL, COLONEL,
YOU SEE--
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IT'S QUITE CLEAR TO SEE
WHAT HAS HAPPENED, HERR FLICK.
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RENE OVERHEARD A PLOT
BY THE RESISTANCE
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TO BLOW UP
AN AMMUNITION LORRY.
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ASSISTED BY THE CAPTAIN,
HE BORROWED THE ARMORED CAR
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AND, WITH GREAT BRAVERY,
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FOUND THE ROADBLOCK
AND FOUGHT OFF THE RESISTANCE,
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WHO, EVEN NOW,
CAN BE SEEN
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RUNNING ACROSS
THE FIELDS.
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I WAS JUST ABOUT
TO SAY ALL THAT.
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IT MUST HAVE BEEN
A VERY FIERCE BATTLE.
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MY ARMORED CAR IS COVERED
WITH LITTLE DENTS.
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AND THERE IS MUD
ALL OVER THE WHEELS.
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I AM NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED
BY THIS STORY.
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I HAVE FOUND PROOF,
HERR FLICK.
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SEE?
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00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:23,709
THIS DEVICE IS COMMONLY
USED BY THE RESISTANCE
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WHEN THEY ARE GOING
TO BLOW SOMETHING UP.
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WHAT NONSENSE.
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THIS IS AN ORDINARY
TIRE PUMP
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WHICH HAS BEEN DISCARDED
BY A PASSING MOTORIST.
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THIS WOULD NOT EVEN
BLOW UP A TIRE.
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00:08:49,035 --> 00:08:50,302
Helga:
HERR FLICK,
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YOU HAVE EXPLODED
THE GESTAPO CAR.
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00:08:55,108 --> 00:08:57,309
WELL, THAT'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
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00:08:57,311 --> 00:09:00,379
THE GESTAPO CAN ALWAYS GET
ANOTHER CAR FROM BERLIN.
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00:09:01,714 --> 00:09:04,983
I SHALL NOT BE INFORMING
BERLIN OF THIS INCIDENT.
160
00:09:04,985 --> 00:09:08,220
I DO NOT WISH
TO LOOK A RIGHT NANA.
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LOOK!
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YOU FOOLS!
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00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:16,828
YOU HAVE
BLOWN OUR COVERS.
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00:09:19,432 --> 00:09:22,000
Flick:
LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
YOU WILL DRIVE US HOME.
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00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:28,940
WHAT'S GOING ON NOW,
FAIRFAX?
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A LOT OF GIRLS
IN THEIR SCANTIES
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ARE CLIMBING
ONTO MEN'S BICYCLES.
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OH, COME ON!
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?
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00:09:57,237 --> 00:10:00,705
I NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH
A NIGHT LIKE THAT AGAIN.
170
00:10:00,707 --> 00:10:03,508
WHEN HITLER GET HIS HANDS
ON THE COLONEL'S SAUSAGE,
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00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:05,510
AND FINDS NO PAINTING,
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00:10:05,512 --> 00:10:08,480
THE COLONEL AND CAPTAIN
WILL HAVE HAD THEIR CHIPS.
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00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,015
GOOD RIDDANCE.
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00:10:10,017 --> 00:10:13,518
SPEAKING FOR MYSELF,
I AM UP TO HERE WITH SAUSAGES,
175
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,454
AND PAINTINGS, AND GESTAPO,
AND ESCAPING AIRMEN.
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00:10:16,456 --> 00:10:19,324
ALL I WANT IS A QUIET LIFE.
177
00:10:19,326 --> 00:10:21,059
( loud banging )
178
00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:23,862
- CUSTOMERS.
- TELL THEM WE ARE CLOSED.
179
00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:25,563
GO AWAY!
180
00:10:25,565 --> 00:10:28,801
CAFE RENE DOES
NOT REOPEN UNTIL 9:30!
181
00:10:30,469 --> 00:10:33,138
OH, IT IS THE COLONEL
AND CAPTAIN.
182
00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:35,908
OH MY GOD, WHAT NOW?
LET THEM IN.
183
00:10:41,447 --> 00:10:44,316
QUICK, HANS,
CLOSE THE CURTAINS.
184
00:10:44,318 --> 00:10:47,485
COLONEL, WHY ARE YOU
DRESSED LIKE THAT?
IS THE WAR OVER?
185
00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:49,822
FOR US?
VERY LIKELY.
186
00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:51,756
WHEN HITLER GETS
THAT EMPTY SAUSAGE
187
00:10:51,758 --> 00:10:53,758
AND THE TELEGRAM
FROM THE COLONEL,
188
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,929
HE WILL SEND SOME VERY
NASTY MEN TO LOOK FOR US.
189
00:10:56,931 --> 00:10:58,630
RENE...
190
00:10:58,632 --> 00:11:01,599
- YOU MUST HELP US
GET AWAY.
- WHAT?!
191
00:11:01,601 --> 00:11:04,136
WE THOUGHT SWITZERLAND
WOULD DO VERY NICELY.
192
00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:05,904
WE KNOW YOU RUN
AN ESCAPE ROUTE.
193
00:11:05,906 --> 00:11:08,340
YES, WE NEED PAPERS.
WE KNOW YOU HAVE A FORGER.
194
00:11:08,342 --> 00:11:10,542
OH, DEAR COLONEL,
I THINK YOU HAVE
195
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:12,444
QUITE THE WRONG IDEA
ABOUT ME.
196
00:11:12,446 --> 00:11:15,147
I AM JUST A SIMPLE
CAFE OWNER.
197
00:11:15,149 --> 00:11:17,015
RENE, IF YOU
DO NOT HELP US,
198
00:11:17,017 --> 00:11:18,917
I WILL DROP YOU IN IT.
199
00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:21,753
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO USE FOR MONEY?
200
00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:25,423
WE HAVE THE PAINTING,
AND THE WEEK'S PAYROLL
FOR THE TROOPS.
201
00:11:25,425 --> 00:11:26,725
( all gasp )
202
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,393
BUT WHEN THE TROOPS
FIND OUT,
203
00:11:28,395 --> 00:11:29,761
WILL THEY
NOT BE CROSS?
204
00:11:29,763 --> 00:11:32,564
- THEY WILL BE HOPPING MAD.
- ( knocking )
205
00:11:35,001 --> 00:11:36,335
IT IS THE POLICE.
206
00:11:36,337 --> 00:11:37,936
( screeching )
POLICE?! NO!
207
00:11:37,938 --> 00:11:39,972
DON'T LET THEM IN!
WE HAVE NO PAPERS!
208
00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:46,678
CAPTAIN!
209
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:47,946
OPEN THE DOOR.
210
00:11:49,215 --> 00:11:51,583
OH MY GOD, IT'S THAT
STUPID BRITISH IDIOT
211
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:53,218
WHO THINKS HE CAN
SPEAK FRENCH.
212
00:11:56,356 --> 00:11:58,156
GOOD MOANING.
213
00:12:01,027 --> 00:12:03,695
I WOULD OFFER YOU
A COGNAC, OFFICER,
214
00:12:03,697 --> 00:12:06,798
BUT I KNOW YOU ARE
NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK
ON DUTY, SO, GOODBYE.
215
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,567
I HAVE COME TO
EXPRESS MY REGROTS
216
00:12:09,569 --> 00:12:11,904
FOR THE BILLS UP,
LAST NIGHT.
217
00:12:11,906 --> 00:12:14,639
YES, WELL, THERE WILL
BE AN EVEN BIGGER
218
00:12:14,641 --> 00:12:17,175
BILLS UP THIS MOANING
IF YOU DO NOT GO AWAY.
219
00:12:17,177 --> 00:12:19,278
I HAVE GOOD NOSE.
220
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,280
YES, YES, YOU ARE
VERY HANDSOME,
221
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,881
NOW, PLEASE GO.
222
00:12:22,883 --> 00:12:25,217
MY NOSE IS AS FOLLOWS,
223
00:12:25,219 --> 00:12:27,652
THE TROON CARRYING
THE SAUSAGE
224
00:12:27,654 --> 00:12:30,389
HAS BEEN BUMMED
BY THE R.A.F.
225
00:12:31,724 --> 00:12:34,492
BUMMED
BY THE R.A.F.?
226
00:12:34,494 --> 00:12:36,929
Both:
BUMMED BY THE R.A.F.?
227
00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:39,965
WHAT HAVE THE NAUGHTY R.A.F.
BEEN UP TO NOW?
228
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:43,435
THEY HAVE BOMBED
AN AMMUNITION TRAIN.
229
00:12:43,437 --> 00:12:44,869
DID THEY DESTROY IT?
230
00:12:44,871 --> 00:12:47,439
THERE WERE LITTLE PISSES
ALL OVER THE TRACK.
231
00:12:51,077 --> 00:12:52,978
HANS, THIS CALLS
FOR A DRINK.
232
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:57,416
- ( banging )
- OHHH... EDITH,
233
00:12:57,418 --> 00:13:00,685
YVETTE, MARIA-AAA,
234
00:13:00,687 --> 00:13:04,589
HOW MUCH LONGER
AM I TO BE IGNORED?
235
00:13:04,591 --> 00:13:06,258
OH, EDITH,
236
00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:07,625
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
237
00:13:07,627 --> 00:13:10,162
I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU
FOR DAYS.
238
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:13,231
DO NOT BE SILLY, MAMMA.
I GAVE YOU YOUR LUNCH.
239
00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:16,901
- OH!
- LISTEN, I HAVE GOOD NEWS.
240
00:13:16,903 --> 00:13:19,004
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
THE UNDERTAKER
241
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,973
IS CALLING.
242
00:13:20,975 --> 00:13:23,308
UNDERTAKER!
AARGHH!
243
00:13:23,310 --> 00:13:26,544
SO LITTLE TIME.
244
00:13:26,546 --> 00:13:29,881
NO, NO, MAMMA.
I THINK HE IS
IN LOVE WITH ME.
245
00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,783
OH, IT IS
SO ROMANTIC.
246
00:13:31,785 --> 00:13:34,552
I THINK HE IS COMING
TO PROPOSE TO ME.
247
00:13:34,554 --> 00:13:36,088
DO YOU REMEMBER,
248
00:13:36,090 --> 00:13:37,956
WE MET HIM
IN THE SQUARE?
249
00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:39,091
HE HAS A MOUSTACHE.
250
00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:42,160
OH, YES, YES.
I REMEMBER HIM WELL.
251
00:13:42,162 --> 00:13:45,497
HE HAD A LITTLE STIFF ONE.
252
00:13:45,499 --> 00:13:47,199
THAT IS HE.
253
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,434
OH, HE HAS
SUCH MANNERS.
254
00:13:49,436 --> 00:13:51,503
AND TODAY
THIS ARRIVED,
255
00:13:51,505 --> 00:13:53,372
AND ON IT WAS
HIS LITTLE CARD
256
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,772
WITH A LOVE MESSAGE.
257
00:13:57,343 --> 00:13:59,577
"SWIFTLY
258
00:13:59,579 --> 00:14:02,314
AND WITH STYLE,"
259
00:14:02,316 --> 00:14:07,252
HE HAS A HIGH OPINION
OF HIMSELF.
260
00:14:07,254 --> 00:14:08,720
NO, NO, NO, MAMMA.
261
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,022
THE OTHER SIDE.
262
00:14:10,024 --> 00:14:13,191
"I ALWAYS THINK
ENGAGEMENT RINGS
263
00:14:13,193 --> 00:14:16,128
ARE SUCH ROMANTIC
PRETTY THINGS.
264
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:19,031
AND SO,
BEFORE MY LIFE IS DONE,
265
00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:22,200
I WOULD DEARLY
LIKE TO GIVE YOU ONE."
266
00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:32,244
COULD YOU READ
THE FIRST PART AGAIN?
267
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,249
- QUICK, SHUT THE DOOR.
- WHERE IS MY WIFE?
268
00:14:38,251 --> 00:14:41,252
SHE IS UPSTAIRS, DRESSED UP
LIKE THE DINNER OF A DOG.
269
00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:43,354
SHE IS GOING
TO PARADE HERSELF
270
00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:45,523
YET AGAIN
IN THE TOWN SQUARE.
271
00:14:45,525 --> 00:14:47,158
BUT, RENE, YOU
SHOULD BE HAPPY.
272
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,027
IF SHE MARRIES,
YOU WILL BE FREE.
273
00:14:49,029 --> 00:14:51,162
AND WITHOUT
A SOLITARY SOU.
274
00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:52,731
WE WILL HAVE MONEY.
275
00:14:52,733 --> 00:14:55,266
WE WILL BORROW EXPLOSIVES
FROM THE RESISTANCE,
276
00:14:55,268 --> 00:14:58,036
BLOW THE SAFE,
NICK THE MONEY,
277
00:14:58,038 --> 00:15:01,306
AND HIDE IN A LITTLE
GARRET IN PARIS,
278
00:15:01,308 --> 00:15:03,976
AND MAKE LOVE
DAY AND NIGHT
279
00:15:03,978 --> 00:15:06,478
UNTIL THE WAR
IS OVER.
280
00:15:08,881 --> 00:15:12,383
THE VERY THOUGHT OF IT
MAKES ME GO WEAK AT THE KNEES.
281
00:15:12,385 --> 00:15:14,119
( knocks )
282
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:17,055
OH, NOT HER AGAIN.
283
00:15:28,901 --> 00:15:30,636
NOW LISTEN
VERY CAREFULLY,
284
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,270
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
285
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,708
THE ESCAPE PACKAGE BROUGHT
BY THIS BRITISH AGENT
286
00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:38,176
WAS DAMAGED
IN THE LANDING.
287
00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:40,211
YOU MUST HELP US
TO MEND IT.
288
00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:42,413
MEND IT?
I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT IT IS.
289
00:15:42,415 --> 00:15:44,449
IT IS A BALLOON
MADE OF SILK.
290
00:15:44,451 --> 00:15:46,718
FILLED WITH HOT AIR,
IT WILL LIFT
291
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,253
THE BASKET
WITH THE AIRMEN,
292
00:15:48,255 --> 00:15:50,088
AND, WITH A
FAVORABLE WIND,
293
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:51,923
TAKE THEM BACK
ACROSS THE CHANNEL.
294
00:15:51,925 --> 00:15:53,391
BRILLIANT,
295
00:15:53,393 --> 00:15:55,460
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
A NEEDLE AND COTTON?
296
00:15:55,462 --> 00:15:58,596
SOME OF THE FABRIC
IS TORN AWAY AND MISSING.
297
00:15:58,598 --> 00:16:00,431
WE NEED SILK TO REPLACE IT.
298
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:01,533
SILK?
299
00:16:01,535 --> 00:16:03,835
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED
TO FIND SILK?
300
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,837
THE AGENT CRABTREE
HAS A PLAN,
301
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:07,238
WHICH HE WILL EXPLAIN.
302
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,940
YOU MUST GO AND GET
303
00:16:08,942 --> 00:16:11,743
YOUR HENDS
ON GIRLS' KNOCKERS.
304
00:16:16,415 --> 00:16:18,717
HE MEANS SILK KNICKERS.
305
00:16:18,719 --> 00:16:23,889
SORRY, PERHAPS
MY FRENCH COD
BE BUTTER.
306
00:16:23,891 --> 00:16:27,059
I WILL GIVE UP
MY KNICKERS FOR FRANCE!
307
00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:29,795
ALWAYS THE PATRIOT.
308
00:16:31,731 --> 00:16:33,565
ALL THE GIRLS
IN THE RESISTANCE
309
00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:35,701
WILL SACRIFICE
THEIR KNICKERS.
310
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,236
WHEN I HEAR
WORDS LIKE THAT,
311
00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:40,105
IT BRINGS A LUMP
TO MY THROAT.
312
00:16:41,774 --> 00:16:43,875
BUT EVEN THAT
WILL NOT BE ENOUGH.
313
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:47,112
WELL, HOW MANY PAIRS
OF KNOCK--
314
00:16:47,114 --> 00:16:49,247
KNICKERS DO YOU REQUIRE?
315
00:16:49,249 --> 00:16:51,216
AT LEAST FARTY,
316
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,852
OR EVEN FIFTY.
317
00:16:58,057 --> 00:16:59,758
I WILL TRY FOR 50.
318
00:17:01,293 --> 00:17:05,230
RENE, HAS YOUR WIFE'S
MOTHER PASSED AWAY?
319
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,565
WELL, IF SHE HAS,
SHE DID NOT TELL ME.
320
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,034
WHY DO YOU ASK?
321
00:17:09,036 --> 00:17:12,237
OUTSIDE HAS DRAWN UP
A HEARSE WITH A HORSE.
322
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:15,140
AN HORSE HEARSE,
OUTSIDE MY CAFE?
323
00:17:15,142 --> 00:17:16,574
WHAT CAN
THAT MEAN?
324
00:17:19,578 --> 00:17:21,713
- RENE, GO AWAY.
- WHAT?
325
00:17:21,715 --> 00:17:23,014
IT IS MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
326
00:17:23,016 --> 00:17:25,050
HE HAS COME
TO COURT ME.
327
00:17:26,385 --> 00:17:29,287
AH, THE WIDOW ARTOIS.
328
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,161
YOU LOOK SO PALE
AND BEAUTIFUL.
329
00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:40,598
HOW CAN THIS MAN SEE
TO BURY PEOPLE?
330
00:17:43,402 --> 00:17:45,237
I THINK YOU HAVE MET
331
00:17:45,239 --> 00:17:46,972
THE TWIN BROTHER
OF MY HUSBAND.
332
00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:48,506
AH, MONSIEUR,
333
00:17:48,508 --> 00:17:50,342
HOW FORTUNATE
IT IS THAT YOU ARE HERE,
334
00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:53,311
AS I WISH TO MAKE
MY INTENTIONS KNOWN TO YOU.
335
00:17:53,313 --> 00:17:56,948
YOU MAY SPEAK WITH
COMPLETE FRANKNESS,
MONSIEUR,
336
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,617
MY GIRLS CATER
TO EVERY TASTE.
337
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,289
YOU CLUMSY OAF!
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
HAS COME TO ASK
338
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,991
FOR MY HAND
IN MARRIAGE.
339
00:18:05,993 --> 00:18:07,859
- WHAT?
- IT IS CORRECT.
340
00:18:07,861 --> 00:18:10,195
RENE, WHERE IS
YOUR HOSPITALITY?
341
00:18:10,197 --> 00:18:12,830
LET US BE SEATED,
AND HAVE SOME WINE.
342
00:18:12,832 --> 00:18:15,633
RENE, A COGNAC
FOR MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
343
00:18:15,635 --> 00:18:16,935
COGNAC, MARIA.
344
00:18:19,471 --> 00:18:21,172
AND NOW, MONSIEUR,
345
00:18:21,174 --> 00:18:22,774
I BELIEVE YOU ARE
THE NEXT OF KIN
346
00:18:22,776 --> 00:18:25,176
AND GUARDIAN OF THIS
ENCHANTING LADY.
347
00:18:25,178 --> 00:18:27,145
THEREFORE, YOU WILL
WISH TO KNOW
348
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,513
WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER.
349
00:18:28,515 --> 00:18:32,750
YES, WHAT DOES
AN OLD UNDERTAKER
HAVE TO OFFER?
350
00:18:32,752 --> 00:18:35,420
MONSIEUR,
AS YOU KNOW
351
00:18:35,422 --> 00:18:38,223
I HAVE MY OWN
UNDERTAKER'S
ESTABLISHMENT
352
00:18:38,225 --> 00:18:41,393
AND SINCE THE WAR,
BUSINESS HAS BEEN
VERY BRISK.
353
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:44,229
IT IS AN ILL WIND,
AS THEY SAY.
354
00:18:51,603 --> 00:18:54,105
NOW, MONSIEUR...
355
00:18:54,107 --> 00:18:56,441
I HAVE TWO HEARSES
AND FOUR HORSES.
356
00:18:56,443 --> 00:18:58,876
FOUR HORSES, RENE!
357
00:18:58,878 --> 00:19:00,979
HE SHOULD HAVE GOOD RHUBARB.
358
00:19:03,182 --> 00:19:06,084
I HAVE 236 FEET
OF PLANED OAK,
359
00:19:06,086 --> 00:19:09,321
STOCKS OF ELM,
PINE, ET CETERA.
360
00:19:09,323 --> 00:19:11,389
I HAVE 26 MARBLE ANGELS,
361
00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:13,024
12 CONCRETE CHERUBS,
362
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,193
100 WEIGHT
OF ASSORTED HANDLES
363
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:18,029
AND EIGHT GALLONS
OF EMBALMING FLUID.
CHEERS.
364
00:19:19,966 --> 00:19:22,133
IT SOUNDS A VERY
GOOD BUSINESS, RENE.
365
00:19:22,135 --> 00:19:25,070
WHO COULD REFUSE A MAN
WITH ALL THOSE COFFINS
366
00:19:25,072 --> 00:19:28,073
AND EIGHT GALLONS
OF EMBALMING FLUIDS?
367
00:19:28,075 --> 00:19:30,208
I SHOULD ALSO MENTION,
368
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,577
I HAVE A SMALL HEARSE
WITH A SMALLER HORSE.
369
00:19:32,579 --> 00:19:35,347
VERY HANDY
FOR SHOPPING.
370
00:19:35,349 --> 00:19:37,215
AND WHERE IS YOUR HOUSE?
371
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,017
MY HOUSE.
372
00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:41,552
I HAVE A SPACIOUS APARTMENT
373
00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:43,355
EQUIPPED WITH EVERY LUXURY.
374
00:19:43,357 --> 00:19:45,357
AND WHERE IS
THIS APARTMENT?
375
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,658
OVER THE MORTUARY.
376
00:19:48,694 --> 00:19:51,129
IT WAS FURNISHED
BY MY LATE WIFE
377
00:19:51,131 --> 00:19:53,198
WHO WAS TAKEN
SUDDENLY IN THE THE NIGHT.
378
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,634
WELL, AT LEAST SHE
DID NOT HAVE FAR TO GO.
379
00:19:57,769 --> 00:20:01,106
OF COURSE, I REALIZE,
BEAUTIFUL LADY,
380
00:20:01,108 --> 00:20:03,108
THAT YOU HAVE
THE PICK OF THE TOWN.
381
00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:06,077
THAT YOU ALSO
HAVE YOUNGER SUITORS,
382
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,213
MORE...
383
00:20:08,215 --> 00:20:09,981
"ACTIVE" SUITORS.
384
00:20:09,983 --> 00:20:12,217
BUT BELIEVE ME,
385
00:20:12,219 --> 00:20:14,619
IN SPITE OF MY YEARS,
386
00:20:14,621 --> 00:20:16,621
I AM STILL
FIT ENOUGH TO BANG--
387
00:20:16,623 --> 00:20:18,356
THANK YOU--
A COFFIN TOGETHER...
388
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,660
IN THE TOUGHEST WOOD.
389
00:20:22,662 --> 00:20:25,363
I ALSO HAVE
DRIVING AMBITION.
390
00:20:25,365 --> 00:20:27,065
ONE DAY,
391
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:28,699
I AIM TO HAVE
A LITTLE--
392
00:20:32,971 --> 00:20:35,440
CREMATORIUM OF MY OWN.
393
00:20:36,675 --> 00:20:40,345
I AM GOING TO BE
A NERVOUS WRECK IN A MINUTE.
394
00:20:40,347 --> 00:20:42,914
I REALIZE, OF COURSE,
THAT YOU CANNOT COME
395
00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:45,583
TO A DECISION
AT THIS MOMENT.
396
00:20:45,585 --> 00:20:47,852
ANYWAY, IT IS
TIME I WENT,
397
00:20:47,854 --> 00:20:50,455
AS I AM DUE TO LAY
THE WIDOW MONTCLERE--
398
00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:56,027
OUT IN HALF AN HOUR.
399
00:20:57,329 --> 00:21:00,565
YOU HAVE CERTAINLY
GIVEN US A LOT TO THINK ABOUT.
400
00:21:00,567 --> 00:21:02,200
MY RESPECTS,
MONSIEUR.
401
00:21:03,769 --> 00:21:06,137
LADIES...
402
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,638
WIDOW ARTOIS.
403
00:21:12,244 --> 00:21:14,546
I AWAIT
YOUR DECISION
404
00:21:14,548 --> 00:21:16,414
WITH ANGUISH.
405
00:21:16,416 --> 00:21:19,451
YOU CAN ALWAYS
GET ME
406
00:21:19,453 --> 00:21:21,686
ON MY NIGHT LINE.
407
00:21:26,892 --> 00:21:31,028
I GIVE 24-HOUR SERVICE.
408
00:21:38,737 --> 00:21:41,005
LOCK-KNIT WOOL, NO GOOD.
409
00:21:41,007 --> 00:21:43,308
IT WOULD LET OUT THE GAS.
410
00:21:53,719 --> 00:21:57,222
AH, I SEE A BIG PAIR.
411
00:21:59,391 --> 00:22:01,493
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
MONSIEUR?
412
00:22:01,495 --> 00:22:05,196
PARDON, MADAME,
I AM DOING IT FOR FRANCE.
413
00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:08,166
I HAVE TO HAVE YOUR KNICKERS.
414
00:22:13,705 --> 00:22:16,007
- ( knocks )
- ENTER.
415
00:22:18,344 --> 00:22:21,179
YES, HELGA, WHAT CAN
WE DO FOR YOU?
416
00:22:21,181 --> 00:22:23,515
JUDGING FROM PAST EXPERIENCE,
VERY LITTLE.
417
00:22:25,351 --> 00:22:28,820
COLONEL, I HAVE SOMETHING
VERY SERIOUS TO REPORT,
418
00:22:28,822 --> 00:22:30,822
AND IT IS VERY PERSONAL.
419
00:22:30,824 --> 00:22:32,089
A BUN IN THE OVEN?
420
00:22:33,125 --> 00:22:34,759
HOW DARE YOU?!
421
00:22:34,761 --> 00:22:37,762
HELGA, YOU ARE AMONGST FRIENDS.
WHAT IS IT?
422
00:22:37,764 --> 00:22:41,199
I HAVE TO REPORT THAT
I HAVE LOST MY KNICKERS.
423
00:22:42,335 --> 00:22:44,302
I WAS ON THE RIGHT LINE.
424
00:22:46,271 --> 00:22:48,306
ARE YOU IN LOVE
WITH THE FELLOW?
425
00:22:48,308 --> 00:22:51,008
IT HAPPENED JUST NOW
IN THE GARDEN.
426
00:22:51,010 --> 00:22:54,679
- THEY WERE REMOVED WHEN
I WAS NOT EVEN LOOKING.
- IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?
427
00:22:54,681 --> 00:22:56,848
THEY WERE TAKEN
FROM THE LINE.
428
00:22:56,850 --> 00:22:58,883
THEY WERE
MY BEST SILK ONES.
429
00:22:58,885 --> 00:23:02,654
THE ONES WITH THE LITTLE
SWASTIKAS AROUND THE EDGE.
430
00:23:02,656 --> 00:23:06,591
HANS, HOW DID YOU KNOW?
WHEN DID YOU SEE
HELGA'S KNICKERS?
431
00:23:06,593 --> 00:23:08,827
IT WAS, UH...
CHRISTMAS,
432
00:23:08,829 --> 00:23:11,663
WHEN SHE WAS
HANGING UP THE HOLLY.
433
00:23:11,665 --> 00:23:14,899
NO WONDER YOU WERE SO KEEN
TO HOLD UP THE LADDER.
434
00:23:16,502 --> 00:23:18,503
WHAT DO YOU
WISH ME TO DO?
435
00:23:18,505 --> 00:23:21,706
ARREST SOME PEASANTS
AND SHOOT THEM.
436
00:23:21,708 --> 00:23:23,808
HELGA, EVEN GERMANS
CANNOT SHOOT PEOPLE
437
00:23:23,810 --> 00:23:25,677
FOR ONE PAIR OF KNICKERS.
438
00:23:25,679 --> 00:23:27,245
YOU ARE RIGHT, COLONEL.
439
00:23:27,247 --> 00:23:30,348
AFTER ALL, WHAT IS IN
A PAIR OF KNICKERS?
440
00:23:35,053 --> 00:23:37,321
- HERR FLICK.
- HEIL HITLER.
441
00:23:37,323 --> 00:23:39,791
- HEIL HITLER.
- KLOP.
442
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:42,927
COLONEL, IN THE TOWN
UNDER YOUR COMMAND,
443
00:23:42,929 --> 00:23:44,996
THERE IS SERIOUS
INDISCIPLINE.
444
00:23:44,998 --> 00:23:47,499
COULD YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC,
HERR FLICK?
445
00:23:47,501 --> 00:23:49,834
MY AGENTS REPORT
446
00:23:49,836 --> 00:23:53,571
THAT THERE ARE MANY KNICKERS
DISAPPEARING IN THIS TOWN.
447
00:23:53,573 --> 00:23:56,374
REALLY? WHAT KIND OF A MAN
WOULD DO THAT?
448
00:23:56,376 --> 00:23:58,376
KINKY.
449
00:23:58,378 --> 00:24:01,579
MINE WERE REMOVED
ONLY A FEW MOMENTS AGO.
450
00:24:02,915 --> 00:24:06,317
NOT THE ONES WITH THE LITTLE
SWASTIKAS ON THE EDGE?
451
00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:08,052
THE VERY SAME.
452
00:24:09,988 --> 00:24:12,156
SUDDENLY THIS MINOR INCIDENT
453
00:24:12,158 --> 00:24:14,426
HAS TAKEN A VERY SERIOUS TURN.
454
00:24:14,428 --> 00:24:17,829
WHEN ORDINARY FRENCH
KNICKERS ARE REMOVED
455
00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:19,931
ONE COULD LOOK
THE OTHER WAY.
456
00:24:19,933 --> 00:24:24,335
TO REMOVE THE KNICKERS OF
GLORIOUS GERMAN ARMY WOMANHOOD
457
00:24:24,337 --> 00:24:26,404
CAN ONLY RESULT
IN ONE PENALTY...
458
00:24:26,406 --> 00:24:28,773
- LIFE?
- DEATH.
459
00:24:29,909 --> 00:24:31,776
WHAT DO YOU WISH ME
TO DO, HERR FLICK?
460
00:24:31,778 --> 00:24:34,646
A MAN SUSPECTED
OF THE STEALING
461
00:24:34,648 --> 00:24:38,115
WAS SEEN GOING INTO
THE BACK DOOR OF CAFE RENE.
462
00:24:38,117 --> 00:24:39,584
YOU WILL INVESTIGATE.
463
00:24:39,586 --> 00:24:40,852
AT ONCE, HERR FLICK.
464
00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:42,019
HEIL HITLER.
465
00:24:42,021 --> 00:24:43,688
- HEIL HITLER.
- KLOP.
466
00:24:45,791 --> 00:24:47,892
( big sigh )
467
00:24:47,894 --> 00:24:50,227
YOU SEEM VERY
FAR AWAY, RENE.
468
00:24:50,229 --> 00:24:52,597
YOU HAVE NOT SPOKEN
TO ME ALL MORNING.
469
00:24:54,399 --> 00:24:57,602
MY HEART IS FULL
OF SADNESS, EDITH.
470
00:24:57,604 --> 00:25:01,105
IT SEEMS AFTER ALL
THESE YEARS OF MAGIC,
471
00:25:01,107 --> 00:25:04,976
I AM TO LOSE YOU
TO A DIRECTOR OF FUNERALS.
472
00:25:04,978 --> 00:25:07,612
YOUR HEART IS FULL OF SADNESS
BECAUSE YOU ARE WORRIED
473
00:25:07,614 --> 00:25:09,447
ABOUT LOSING THE CAFE.
474
00:25:09,449 --> 00:25:11,449
BUT I HAVE
BEEN THINKING, RENE.
475
00:25:11,451 --> 00:25:14,652
I CANNOT DO THIS TO YOU
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
476
00:25:14,654 --> 00:25:18,957
OH, EDITH! YOU HAVE
MADE ME VERY HAPPY.
477
00:25:18,959 --> 00:25:20,825
I WILL LET YOU
STAY ON AS A BARMAN.
478
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,763
NO, NO, I COULD
NOT STAY HERE
479
00:25:25,765 --> 00:25:28,833
AND WATCH THE TWO OF YOU
CLIMB THOSE STAIRS TOGETHER.
480
00:25:28,835 --> 00:25:31,970
OH, RENE, I PROMISE YOU
I WOULD NEVER DO THAT WITH HIM.
481
00:25:31,972 --> 00:25:35,272
WE WILL CLIMB THE STAIRS
AT HIS PLACE.
482
00:25:35,274 --> 00:25:39,511
THAT DOES IT.
I WILL GO NOW.
483
00:25:39,513 --> 00:25:43,147
NO LONGER CAN I PUT
A BRAVE FACE ON THIS...
484
00:25:43,149 --> 00:25:45,082
TRAGIC AFFAIR.
485
00:25:45,084 --> 00:25:47,184
( sobbing )
486
00:25:49,221 --> 00:25:52,557
RENE, DO I REALLY MEAN
SO MUCH TO YOU?
487
00:25:54,126 --> 00:25:56,227
AND IS IT TRUE YOU COULD NOT
LIVE WITHOUT ME?
488
00:25:58,664 --> 00:26:03,467
AND IF I PROMISE TO MARRY YOU,
WILL YOU PROMISE FOREVERMORE
TO BE FAITHFUL TO ME?
489
00:26:06,104 --> 00:26:08,506
( continues sobbing )
490
00:26:08,508 --> 00:26:11,709
AND DO YOU FIND ME
AS BEAUTIFUL AS EVER?
491
00:26:14,713 --> 00:26:17,448
( continues sobbing )
492
00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:20,685
THEN, ALTHOUGH IT WILL BREAK
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE'S HEART,
493
00:26:20,687 --> 00:26:23,521
I WILL TELL HIM
I AM DESTINED FOR ANOTHER.
494
00:26:23,523 --> 00:26:25,456
THERE IS
ANOTHER ONE?
495
00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:27,559
YOU, RENE.
496
00:26:38,003 --> 00:26:39,771
( sobs )
497
00:26:40,973 --> 00:26:44,208
OH, I AM GLAD I CAN
STILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.
498
00:26:44,210 --> 00:26:47,979
MADAME, THESE FLOWERS HERE
WERE ON THE DOORSTEP.
499
00:26:47,981 --> 00:26:49,714
THEY ARE ADDRESSED
TO YOU.
500
00:26:49,716 --> 00:26:51,749
THEY ARE FROM
A MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
501
00:26:51,751 --> 00:26:54,018
I HEAR HE INTENDS
TO MARRY YOU.
502
00:26:54,020 --> 00:26:56,187
NO, I HAVE
MADE UP MY MIND.
503
00:26:56,189 --> 00:26:58,923
I AM GOING
TO MARRY RENE.
504
00:27:01,460 --> 00:27:03,360
MARRY RENE?
505
00:27:03,362 --> 00:27:05,630
I AM AFRAID SO.
506
00:27:11,436 --> 00:27:13,972
CONGRATULATIONS!
507
00:27:13,974 --> 00:27:16,074
( sobs )
AARGHH!
508
00:27:17,309 --> 00:27:19,877
THE ETERNAL
TRIANGLE.
509
00:27:22,180 --> 00:27:24,882
COLONEL, WELCOME
TO MY HUMBLE CAFE.
510
00:27:24,884 --> 00:27:27,485
I AM AFRAID THIS IS
AN OFFICIAL VISIT, RENE.
511
00:27:27,487 --> 00:27:29,854
LINE UP YOUR STAFF,
IMMEDIATELY.
512
00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:31,455
OH, YES, OF COURSE,
COLONEL.
513
00:27:31,457 --> 00:27:32,824
COME IN HERE,
ALL OF YOU.
514
00:27:32,826 --> 00:27:34,859
THE COLONEL WISHES
TO SPEAK WITH YOU.
515
00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:36,995
WAS IT THE RABBIT
LAST NIGHT, COLONEL?
516
00:27:36,997 --> 00:27:38,730
IT WAS NOT
THE RABBIT.
517
00:27:38,732 --> 00:27:40,965
OH, I SEE.
THEN MAY I ENQUIRE
518
00:27:40,967 --> 00:27:43,034
THE NATURE
OF YOUR PROBLEM?
519
00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:45,503
KNICKERS.
520
00:27:45,505 --> 00:27:48,006
I AM SORRY I ASKED.
521
00:27:48,008 --> 00:27:50,074
NOW, PAY ATTENTION,
ALL OF YOU.
522
00:27:50,076 --> 00:27:52,243
THERE ARE MISSING
IN THIS TOWN,
523
00:27:52,245 --> 00:27:55,146
MANY PAIRS
OF SILK KNICKERS,
524
00:27:55,148 --> 00:27:56,981
INCLUDING A PAIR
525
00:27:56,983 --> 00:27:59,183
FORMERLY OCCUPIED
BY A MEMBER
526
00:27:59,185 --> 00:28:00,718
OF THE GERMAN STAFF,
527
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,821
WHO SHALL
REMAIN NAMELESS.
528
00:28:03,823 --> 00:28:04,856
HELGA.
529
00:28:10,529 --> 00:28:12,997
THEY HAVE BEEN TRACED
TO THIS ADDRESS.
530
00:28:12,999 --> 00:28:15,432
I REQUIRE
AN EXPLANATION.
531
00:28:15,434 --> 00:28:17,501
WELL, COLONEL,
IT IS VERY SIMPLE.
532
00:28:17,503 --> 00:28:19,804
WE WANTED THE SILK,
533
00:28:19,806 --> 00:28:22,040
WHICH IS IN VERY
SHORT SUPPLY,
534
00:28:22,042 --> 00:28:24,208
TO MAKE
A WEDDING DRESS.
535
00:28:24,210 --> 00:28:25,743
A WEDDING DRESS?
536
00:28:25,745 --> 00:28:28,412
HOW--
HOW ROMANTIC.
537
00:28:29,581 --> 00:28:31,315
WHO IS IT FOR?
538
00:28:31,317 --> 00:28:32,884
YOU.
539
00:28:32,886 --> 00:28:35,119
ME.
I AM TO BE MARRIED.
540
00:28:35,121 --> 00:28:37,755
- WHO'S THE LUCKY MAN?
- IT IS I,
541
00:28:37,757 --> 00:28:40,491
ALPHONSE,
DIRECTOR OF FUNERALS,
542
00:28:40,493 --> 00:28:42,060
"SWIFTLY AND WITH STYLE."
543
00:28:42,062 --> 00:28:43,460
Both:
HURRAY!
544
00:28:43,462 --> 00:28:45,229
NO, NO.
YOU MISUNDERSTAND.
545
00:28:45,231 --> 00:28:48,332
I AM TO MARRY THE BROTHER
OF MY LATE HUSBAND,
546
00:28:48,334 --> 00:28:49,366
RENE.
547
00:28:49,368 --> 00:28:52,436
RENE?! AARGHH!
548
00:28:55,207 --> 00:28:57,575
MONSIEUR,
A FEW HOURS AGO,
549
00:28:57,577 --> 00:28:59,811
I CAME HERE
AS A MAN OF HONOR
550
00:28:59,813 --> 00:29:02,113
TO ASK YOU
FOR THIS LADY'S HAND.
551
00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:05,416
YOU HAVE HUMILIATED ME,
MONSIEUR.
552
00:29:05,418 --> 00:29:08,319
YOU HAVE INSULTED ME.
553
00:29:08,321 --> 00:29:10,321
I WILL HAVE
SATISFACTION.
554
00:29:10,323 --> 00:29:13,591
IT IS TOO LATE FOR THAT.
SHE HAS CHOSEN ME.
555
00:29:16,428 --> 00:29:18,930
I AM A MAN OF HONOR,
MONSIEUR.
556
00:29:18,932 --> 00:29:21,099
YOU WILL BE
HEARING FROM ME,
557
00:29:21,101 --> 00:29:24,468
AND MY REPRESENTATIVES
WILL ARRANGE THE TIME...
558
00:29:25,738 --> 00:29:26,871
AND THE PLACE.
559
00:29:31,509 --> 00:29:34,411
HE WILL NOT TAKE NO
FOR AN ANSWER, WILL HE?
560
00:29:34,413 --> 00:29:37,849
RENE, HE HAS
CHALLENGED YOU TO A DUEL.
561
00:29:37,851 --> 00:29:39,617
WHAT?!
562
00:29:39,619 --> 00:29:42,653
JUST THINK,
MEN ARE FIGHTING OVER ME.
563
00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:44,688
OH, SHUT UP.
564
00:29:44,690 --> 00:29:46,891
COLONEL, COLONEL,
YOU MUST HAVE FRIENDS,
565
00:29:46,893 --> 00:29:49,227
I NEED PAPERS.
I HAVE TO GET AWAY.
PLEASE!
566
00:29:49,229 --> 00:29:51,462
"SWIFTLY
AND WITH STYLE,"
567
00:29:51,464 --> 00:29:53,097
OH MY GOD.
568
00:29:55,134 --> 00:29:57,301
( theme music playing )