WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
( theme music playing )
( hens clucking )
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE WONDERING
WHAT I AM DOING LURKING IN MY OWN HENHOUSE.
THE REASON IS IMPROBABLE BUT SIMPLE.
I AM HIDING FROM MONSIEUR ALPHONSE-- AN AGING UNDERTAKER,
WHO HAS CHALLENGED ME TO A DUEL.
SHUT UP!
KEEP YOUR BEAKS CLOSED.
HE IS UNHAPPY
BECAUSE EDITH WANTS TO MARRY ME INSTEAD OF HIM.
I AM UNHAPPY BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY BEEN MARRIED TO EDITH;
I HAVE BEEN SHOT BY THE GERMANS;
I HAVE BEEN BURIED
AND I HAVE COME BACK AS MY OWN TWIN BROTHER;
AND NOW I AM FORCED TO HIDE IN THE HENHOUSE.
HIS SECONDS ARE LOOKING FOR ME
TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE DUEL, YOU SEE.
SO FAR SO GOOD.
- Yvette: RENE. - OH MY GOD!
RENE.
Rene: BAWK BAWK BAWK.
RENE, IT IS I, YVETTE.
YOU MAY REVEAL YOURSELF.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
THE SECONDS OF MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
HAVE BEEN TO THE CAFE AND DEPARTED.
THANK HEAVENS.
LET US HOPE THAT IS THE LAST WE SEE OF THEM.
HOW DID YOU GET RID OF THEM?
I DID NOT.
IT WAS LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
HE RECEIVED THEM ON YOUR BEHALF.
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE TO
STICK THEIR NOSES INTO MY BUSINESS?
RENE, HE DEFENDED YOUR REPUTATION.
THEY WERE SAYING THAT PERHAPS YOU HAD A YELLOW STEAK.
IT IS HIGHLY LIKELY. FOR ONE THING,
I HAVE BEEN SITTING ALL NIGHT ON HALF A DOZEN EGGS.
OH, DEAR.
HERE, GENTLEMEN,
A DRINK ON THE HOUSE.
I AM MOST GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR UPHOLDING
THE HONOR OF MY FUTURE HUSBAND,
WHO SCARPERED OUT OF THE SCULLERY WINDOW
BECAUSE HE HAS THE COURAGE OF A HAMSTER.
I'M SURE RENE WOULD NOT RUN AWAY
LIKE A COWARD.
THERE WILL BE AN EXPLANATION.
OF COURSE THERE WILL.
THERE IS AN EXPLANATION, COLONEL, YES.
I WAS SHELLING PEAS IN THE KITCHEN,
I SAW A RABBIT OUT OF THE WINDOW,
I PICKED UP THE BROOM HANDLE,
AND TRIED TO CATCH IT FOR YOUR DINNER.
HAVE I MISSED SOMETHING?
YOU HAVE MISSED THE SECONDS
WHO WERE CALLING ON YOU TO FIGHT FOR MY HONOR.
OH, WHAT A PITY.
AND SUCH A WORTHY CAUSE.
I WOULD NOT HAVE MISSED THAT FOR ANYTHING.
ALL IS NOT LOST, RENE.
LIEUTENANT GRUBER HAS ACCEPTED THE CHALLENGE ON YOUR BEHALF.
LIEUTENANT GRUBER IS GOING TO FIGHT THE UNDERTAKER?
NO!
NO.
BUT AS ONE OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS,
I HAVE AGREED TO BE SECOND.
LIEUTENANT GRUBER KNOWS ALL ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING.
HE WAS AT HEIDELBERG.
AT HEIDELBERG,
THEY FIGHT FOR THEIR HONOR ALL THE TIME.
ACTUALLY, IN SPITE OF THE POPULAR RUMORS ABOUT HEIDELBERG,
FIGHTING FOR ONE'S HONOR IS NOT COMPULSORY.
YOU CAN GIVE IN.
BUT I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE RULES NOT TO LET YOU DOWN.
YES, IT IS VERY KIND OF YOU, LIEUTENANT,
BUT I HAVE NO INTENTION OF DOING AN ERROL FLYNN
WITH AN OLD UNDERTAKER.
YOU ARE GOING TO HUMILIATE ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS.
HOW WILL THEY FIND OUT?
I HAVE BEEN ON THE PHONE ALL MORNING.
THE WHOLE VILLAGE IS GOING TO TURN OUT.
IF I COULD PERSUADE MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
TO CHANGE IT FROM DAWN TO MIDDAY,
I COULD DO THE CATERING,
AND MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.
EDITH, MY LIFE IS AT STAKE AND YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT CATERING.
I HAVE,
ON YOUR BEHALF,
REFUSED SWORDS
AND HAVE PROVISIONALLY CHOSEN PISTOLS.
HE WOULD PREFER A KNITTING COMPETITION.
VERY WELL.
I WILL... PRESENT YOUR COMPLIMENTS
AND AGREE WITH HIM THE TIME AND THE PLACE.
HOW ABOUT SOUTH AMERICA,
THE CHRISTMAS AFTER NEXT?
NO, NO. DAWN TOMORROW.
THE WOODS WILL BE MISTY AND ROMANTIC.
I SHALL DRESS DRAMATICALLY IN BLACK--
A BLACK COAT, A BLACK DRESS,
A BLACK CHIFFON SCARF, BLACK GLOVES,
AND A BLACK HAT.
YOU DO NOT GIVE MUCH FOR MY CHANCES, DO YOU?
VERY WELL, SO BE IT.
HEIL HITLER!
AND DO NOT WORRY, RENE,
I SHALL BE CLOSE BY YOUR SIDE.
I MUST HURRY AND GET MY NEW BLACK HAT AND BLACK VEIL.
RENE, DON'T GO AWAY, WE HAVE MUCH TO DISCUSS.
BUT SO LITTLE TIME.
HANS,
RENE IS FAR TOO VALUABLE TO US
TO LOSE IN A SILLY DUEL.
HE HAS OUR PAINTING IN A SAUSAGE IN HIS CELLAR.
AND HE SUPPLIES US WITH GIRLS.
PRECISELY.
SO I HAVE A PLAN.
RENE, WE WILL HOLD BATTLE MANEUVERS
TOMORROW MORNING.
BY CHANCE,
IN THE AREA OF THE DUEL,
WE WILL HAVE SOME MACHINE GUNS,
ARMORED CARS, AND TROOPS.
JUST BEFORE THE DUEL STARTS,
WE WILL OPEN UP WITH EVERYTHING,
AND THE UNDERTAKER
WILL UNFORTUNATELY GET IN THE WAY.
WE WILL APOLOGIZE, AND THERE WILL BE NO REPERCUSSIONS
BECAUSE HE IS ONLY A FRENCHMAN.
COULD YOU NOT JUST WOUND HIM A LITTLE BIT?
WITH A 25-POUND SHELL THAT IS NOT EASY.
SEND IT TO ME AT ONCE.
- ANYTHING SERIOUS, HERR FLICK? - THERE IS FOR ME, A TELEGRAM.
IT IS BEING BROUGHT TO ME BY HAND.
WE WILL CONTINUE OUR GAME OF MONOPOLY.
YOUR TURN WITH THE DICE.
BE CAREFUL NOT TO THROW A FIVE,
OR YOU WILL LAND ON MY HOTEL IN THE WILHELMSTRASSE.
AH, A SEVEN.
STOP! THAT IS NOT YOUR TOKEN,
THAT IS MY STAFF CAR.
YOU ARE THE HIGH-HEELED JACKBOOT.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN.
AH, YOU TAKE A CARD.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A RUBBER TRUNCHEON
AND MISS THREE MOVES.
HARD CHEESE.
SIX.
"GO DIRECTLY TO HITLER'S BUNKER,
DO NOT PASS GO,
DO NOT COLLECT 200 MARKS."
- ( knocks ) - ENTER.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, VON SMALLHAUSEN?
TELEGRAM, HERR FLICK.
GO AWAY.
- BAD NEWS, HERR FLICK? - IT IS FROM MY GODFATHER.
HIMMLER?
"EXPERTS HAVE REASSEMBLED BOMBED SAUSAGE.
NO TRACE OF PAINTING.
ADOLF VERY OFFHAND AT DINNER LAST NIGHT.
DID NOT LAUGH AT MY JOKES.
ARREST COLONEL WHO SENT TELEGRAM.
LOVE, UNCLE HEINRICH."
ARREST THE COLONEL?
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
- HELGA, WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THIS? - NOTHING, HERR FLICK.
YOU ARE LYING! YOU WILL ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.
- SIT DOWN! - YES, HERR FLICK.
WHO PUT THE SAUSAGE ON THE TRAIN?
- I DID, HERR FLICK. - WHO GAVE YOU THE SAUSAGE?
- THE COLONEL. - WAS THE PAINTING INSIDE THE SAUSAGE?
I COULD NOT TELL, HERR FLICK,
WITHOUT BITING A BIT OFF THE END.
WHY DID YOU NOT DO THIS?
I COULD NOT SEND TO HITLER A BITTEN SAUSAGE.
TRUE, THAT WAS GOOD THINKING.
IT IS THEREFORE CLEAR,
THE SAUSAGE CONTAINING THE PAINTING
THAT I GAVE TO THE COLONEL,
WHICH WAS A FORGERY,
BUT WHICH HE THOUGHT WAS GENUINE,
WAS NOT SENT TO BERLIN,
BUT WAS SUBSTITUTED BY HIM FOR A NORMAL KNOCKWURST.
THE SAUSAGE CONTAINING THE PAINTING
HAS BEEN KEPT BY HIM TO SELL AFTER THE WAR,
WHICH WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT IS A FORGERY,
AND THE REAL PAINTING IS HIDDEN IN THE GESTAPO SAUSAGE
WHICH IS HANGING WITH SIMILAR SAUSAGES IN RENE'S KITCHEN.
CORRECT ME, IF I AM WRONG.
I WOULDN'T DREAM OF IT, HERR FLICK.
MY COURSE OF ACTION IS CLEAR--
WE WILL ARREST THE COLONEL AND THE CAPTAIN AT ONCE.
SHALL I COME WITH YOU?
YOU MAY BE TEMPTED TO WARN THEM OUT OF MISPLACED LOYALTY.
YOU WILL STAY HERE.
WHAT'S THIS, HERR FLICK?
SO YOU DO NOT USE THE TELEPHONE.
I WILL RETURN BY EARLY EVENING.
WOULD YOU CARE TO STAY FOR DINNER?
HOW COULD I REFUSE?
IT'S A DATE.
RENE!
OH, MARIA!
WHY HAVE YOU KEPT ME WAITING SO LONG?
I WAS TELEPHONING THE UNDERTAKER
TO SEE IF WE COULD COME TO SOME ARRANGEMENT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
HE OFFERED TO BURY ME AT TRADE PRICES.
- OH RENE! - OH MARIA!
- RENE? - HMM?
CRUSH MY LIPS WITH YOUR LIPS.
DO ALL THOSE THINGS YOU DO THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY
WITH RAGING DESIRE.
MARIA, WE ARE ONLY IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD.
OH, RENE!
Edith: RENE... RENE.
RENE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD WITH MARIA?
YOU STUPID WOMAN,
IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS
WHAT I AM DOING IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD WITH MARIA.
YOU KNOW YOU DO NOT LIKE ME TELLING OFF THE STAFF
IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS.
I WAS--
I WAS JUST REPRIMANDING HER IN HERE.
SO THE NEXT TIME A CUSTOMER CALLS, YOU COME RUNNING.
- YES, RENE. - AND THAT IS THE LAST TIME I SHALL TELL YOU THIS.
VERY LIKELY.
"WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE WAR, GRANDPAPA?"
HA HA, I WAS SEWING LADIES' SILK KNICKERS
TO A TORN BALLOON,
SO THAT THE BRITISH AIRMEN COULD ESCAPE.
HAVE YOU NOT FINISHED THAT BALLOON YET?
SOON THE RESTAURANT WILL BE FULL
AND THIS PLACE WILL BE CRAWLING WITH GERMANS.
DON'T MOVE.
NOW LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE.
THE BASKET HAS BEEN WOVEN BY THE WEAVERS OF WIMEREUX.
FORGIVE ME, I DO NOT HAVE MY CODE BOOK.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS.
THE BASKET IS READY TO BE ATTACHED TO THE BALLOON.
AH, GOOD.
RENE, CUSTOMERS.
OH, HECK.
LOOK, YOU MUST BE OUT OF HERE IN 10 MINUTES.
OH, MICHELLE, WE HAVE NOT REPAIRED
ALL THE HOLES IN THE SILK BALLOON.
WE SHALL REQUIRE ONE MORE PAIR
OF SILK KNICKERS.
I...
WILL GIVE MY LAST PAIR
FOR FRANCE.
REMOVE THEM BEHIND THE CURTAIN--
THERE IS A MAN PRESENT.
NO, DO NOT WORRY,
I HAVE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE.
BUT A VERY LONG TIME AGO.
NO, JUST A MOMENT AGO,
WHEN I DROPPED MY NEEDLE.
WE ARE HOPING TO START ABOUT 7:00,
BUT IT IS BEST YOU GET THERE EARLY.
WE ARE EXPECTING A CROWD.
AND THERE WILL BE COFFEE AND SANDWICHES AFTERWARDS,
WHATEVER HAPPENS.
TELL THEM WE ARE HOPING FOR A HOME WIN.
YES, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
OH, SO MANY FRIENDS.
( door shuts )
OH, RENE!
OH, YVETTE!
I ADMIRE YOU.
YOU ARE LIKE A ROCK.
I KNOW THIS TO BE A QUALITY YOU APPRECIATE IN A MAN.
OH, BUT I AM SO WORRIED.
WHY?
I HEAR MONSIEUR ALPHONSE IS A CRACK SHOT.
THERE WAS A COMPETITION--
HE PUT ONE OF HIS BALLS THROUGH A PLAYING CARD AT 20 PACES.
QUITE A FEAT.
THIS IS HOW HE STARTED IN THE UNDERTAKING BUSINESS.
YVETTE, NORMALLY I WOULD BE WORRIED BY SUCH NEWS.
BUT I HAVE A SECRET ARRANGEMENT WITH THE COLONEL.
AT THE TIME OF THE DUEL,
HE WILL BE ON EXERCISES WITH TANKS AND TROOPS
AND MACHINE GUNS AND THINGS.
AND HE HAS PROMISED TO TAKE CARE OF THE UNDERTAKER.
OH, COULD HE NOT TAKE CARE OF YOUR WIFE
AT THE SAME TIME?
I COULD MENTION IT, I SUPPOSE,
BUT I MIGHT BE PUSHING MY LUCK.
AND TALKING OF PUSHING MY LUCK...
IT'S THAT ENGLISH IDIOT WHO THINKS HE CAN SPEAK OUR LANGUAGE.
GOOD DIE TO YOU.
YOU SEE, HE HAS HEARD ABOUT THE DUEL.
ARE WE ALOON?
I WISH TO TICK TO YOU.
TICK?
HE MEANS TALK.
AH, WE ARE ALOON SO TICK AWAY.
THE ENGLISH AIRMEN ARE NO LINGER IN THE COW.
OH, GOOD.
WELL, WHERE ARE THEY THEN?
I WILL KILL THEM.
IN HERE, CHAPS.
YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THAT.
YOU CANNOT PASS THOSE TWO IDIOTS OFF AS FRENCH POLICEMEN.
I HAVE GIVE THEM QUICK CURSE IN THE FRENCH LONGWODGE.
IT'S NOSE TO SPIKE YOUR TONGUE.
PLEASED TO MATE YOU, SIR.
HECK-- GERMANS!
QUICK, IN THE BACK ROOM.
OFFICER, IF YOU WISH TO SEARCH MY PREMISES
I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.
START IN THE BACK ROOM.
TAKE CARE OF THE KRAUTS.
Yvette: COULD I SHOW YOU TO YOUR TABLE?
LISTEN CAREFULLY,
THE BALLOON IS READY.
IT WILL BE TAKEN
AND HIDDEN IN THE OLD RUINED BARN,
FIVE KILOMETERS TO THE NORTH OF TOWN.
WHEN THE WIND IS FAVORABLE,
A MESSAGE WILL BE SENT.
YOU, RENE, WILL GUIDE THE AIRMEN TO THE BARN
WHERE THEY WILL TAKE OFF AND HEAD FOR HOME.
I DO NOT WISH TO BE A WET BLANKET,
BUT I DO HAVE A DUEL IN THE MORNING YOU KNOW--
WHAT IF I AM KILLED?
THEN MONSIEUR LECLERC WILL GUIDE THEM.
I MUST GO NOW TO THE IRONMONGER.
HE IS PREPARING THE BLOWLAMPS,
WHICH WILL PROVIDE THE HOT AIR FOR THE BALLOON.
RENE, HERR FLICK HAS BEEN HERE.
HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO?
QUICK, WE WILL ESCOPE THROUGH THE WINE-DOW.
NO, HE WILL BE GETTING INTO HIS CAR.
HE WILL SEE YOU.
WHAT DID HE WANT?
HE HAD NOT SEEN THESE TWO DISGUISED AS POLICEMEN?
NO, HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE COLONEL.
HE HAS GONE TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS.
DID HE WANT TO CHECK ON HIS SAUSAGE?
NO. HE CANCELED HIS TABLE AND ORDERED
TWO LARGE PORTIONS OF HOT POT TO TAKE AWAY.
THAT MEANS A NICE, QUIET DINNER WITH HELGA
IN THE DUNGEON THIS EVENING.
EDITH, YVETTE.
OH, EDITH,
WHY DO YOU LEAVE ME FOR SO LONG ALONE?
I AM SORRY, MAMMA,
BUT I WAS TRYING ON MY NEW BLACK HAT FOR THE DUEL.
AH-- THE DUEL.
NOW EDITH,
I HAVE BEEN THINKING.
I WISH TO BE THERE EARLY.
I WANT TO BE IN THE FRONT ROW.
IT IS HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.
MEN FOUGHT OVER ME, YOU KNOW,
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.
I WAS LOVED BY
TWO TRAM DRIVERS AT THE SAME TIME.
DID THEY FIGHT WITH PISTOLS OR WITH SWORDS?
NO, TRAMS.
I SHALL NEVER FORGET IT.
THEY DROVE FURIOUSLY TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER,
EACH FROM HIS OWN DEPOT
RINGING THE BELLS AND SHOUTING,
"NO ROOM ON TOP."
WHAT HAPPENED?
THERE WAS A POWER CUT.
SO I RAN AWAY
WITH THE INSPECTOR.
HERR FLICK,
COULD YOU NOT FREE MY OTHER HAND?
IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO CHASE PEAS
USING ONLY A FORK.
I AM SORRY, HELGA,
I CANNOT RISK YOU EVADING ME
AND, IN YOUR MISPLACED LOYALTY,
INFORMING THE COLONEL.
I KEEP TELLING YOU,
I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE COLONEL IS.
I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU, HELGA.
AND IF YOU DO NOT TALK
YOU WILL GET NO PUDDING.
IT IS JAM ROLY-POLY.
YOU ARE A RUTHLESS MAN, HERR FLICK.
- ( knocks on door ) - ENTER.
WE HAVE TRACED THE COLONEL AND THE CAPTAIN, HERR FLICK.
THEY ARE OUT ON MANEUVERS.
GOOD. GO AWAY.
FASTER!
AS SOON AS IT IS DAYLIGHT, WE WILL ARREST THEM.
IN THE MEANTIME, WE WILL REMAIN HERE.
IF YOU DO NOT TRUST ME, HERR FLICK,
WHAT SORT OF LIFE WILL WE HAVE TOGETHER AFTER THE WAR?
I WILL TAKE YOU FOR BEAUTIFUL WALKS
ON A SHORT LEAD.
YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WILD ANIMAL.
IT'S MUTUAL.
( snores )
( alarm bell ringing )
RENE, WAKE UP.
WAKE UP!
IT IS 5:00.
5:00?
YOU MUST NOT BE LATE FOR THE DUEL.
BUT EDITH, THAT IS NOT UNTIL 7:00.
OH!
I KNOW, BUT I HAVE TO DRESS,
AND MAKE UP,
AND IRON YOUR SHIRT.
YOU ARE NOT GOING INTO THE WOODS LOOKING A MESS.
TO THINK THAT MEN ARE PREPARED TO DIE FOR ME.
IT IS UNBELIEVABLE, IS IT NOT?
( knocking )
RENE, GO DOWN AND SEE WHO IS AT THE DOOR.
WHO CAN THAT BE AT THIS HOUR?
IT MAY BE SOMEBODY WANTING TO BUY TICKETS.
YOU HAVE BEEN SELLING TICKETS?
ONLY FOR THE FRONT ROW.
( knocking )
RENE, IT IS LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
GOOD MORNING, RENE!
I HAVE YOUR TROUSERS, HERE.
MY BATMAN PRESSED THEM FOR ME.
HOW KIND, LIEUTENANT.
YOU THINK OF EVERYTHING.
I... I ALSO HAD THEM WIDENED A LITTLE,
SO YOU ARE MORE FASHIONABLE.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY THEM ON NOW?
NOT IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS.
THE GIRLS WILL GO AWAY.
BACK TO BED, LADIES. SHOO! SHOO!
THIS IS AN AFFAIR BETWEEN MEN.
DO NOT HESITATE TO POP DOWN
IF YOU WANT A GLASS OF WATER,
OR SOME CIGARETTES,
OR IF I RING THE BELL, OR ANYTHING.
RENE, I HOPE THIS AFFAIR TURNS OUT
SATISFACTORILY.
SO DO I.
I--
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS, RENE.
I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED YOU, BUT--
JUST AT THIS MOMENT I FIND IT HARD
TO EXPRESS IN WORDS ALL MY FEELINGS.
WELL, KEEP TRYING WITH THE WORDS.
I'M SURE THEY WILL COME TO YOU IN THE END.
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO WEAR THIS LOCKET OF MINE FOR GOOD LUCK.
OH-- I WAS THINKING
MORE ALONG THESE LINES.
RENE, TAKE MY ADVICE--
DO NOT WEAR THAT.
IT WILL ONLY FLATTEN THE BALL ON IT'S WAY THROUGH,
AND MAKE AN EVEN BIGGER HOLE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALL DRESSED UP LIKE A MAD HATTER?
IT IS I, LECLERC.
I AM TO BE YOUR OTHER SECOND.
WHAT ARE ALL THESE FOR?
ARE YOU EXPECTING TO CLEAN UP THE FOREST
AFTER I AM SHOT?
I AM TO WASH THE FLOOR,
READY FOR THE PARTY AFTERWARDS.
GOOD. WE ARE HERE FIRST.
GIVE ME MY OPERA GLASSES.
I DO NOT WISH TO MISS ANYTHING.
TICKETS, PLEASE.
( bell rings )
I KNEW THAT ONE DAY THAT WOULD COME IN USEFUL.
HALT!
OH, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
HOW ELEGANT HE LOOKS.
MADAME--
AND THIS MUST BE YOUR SISTER.
- MY MOTHER. - UNBELIEVABLE.
YOU ARE SO YOUNG,
SO VIVACIOUS.
TAKE THESE SO YOU CAN SEE TO SHOOT.
THERE HE IS.
HE HAS BOTH HIS SECONDS WITH HIM.
WE CANNOT START YET BECAUSE I AM NOT READY,
BESIDES, GRUBER IS NOT HERE.
DO NOT WORRY.
HE HAS GONE FOR THE KIT OF THE FIRST AID.
I HOPE HE WILL NOT BE LONG.
THIS COAL SCUTTLE IS TIGHT UNDER THE ARM.
IT IS JUST INSURANCE.
ANYWAY, THE GERMAN ARMY WILL BE HERE TO SAVE YOU.
THAT MAKES ME FEEL VERY BRAVE.
WHERE-- WHERE ARE THEY EXACTLY?
SHH! YOU CANNOT SEE THEM, RENE.
THEY ARE CAMOUFLAGED,
BUT, I HAVE HEARD RUSTLINGS IN THE WOODS.
RENE!
OH, HOW HANDSOME YOU LOOK.
OH, YVETTE.
OH!
THIS IS HOW I HOPED YOU WOULD BE ON OUR WEDDING DAY.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
IT IS THE HANDLE OF THE COAL SCUTTLE.
THERE IS GRUBER.
QUICK, THE REST OF MY CLOTHES.
GENTLEMEN, YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.
( metal clangs )
FAREWELL, RENE.
BE BRAVE, GIRLS.
DEAR GIRLS.
BEFORE PROCEEDING,
DO EITHER OF YOU WISH TO APOLOGIZE?
I MAY HAVE BEEN A BIT HASTY--
CERTAINLY NOT.
YOU BEHAVED LIKE A PIG.
YOU WILL DIE LIKE A PIG.
VERY WELL, MONSIEUR.
YOU ARE SHOWING A LOT OF METTLE, RENE.
WHAT?
THE PISTOLS ARE LOADED.
CHOOSE.
YOU CHOOSE, MONSIEUR.
YOU WILL START BACK TO BACK.
UPON THE COMMAND "MARCH,"
YOU WILL WALK 10 PACES.
UPON THE COMMAND "HALT,"
YOU WILL-- HALT.
UPON THE COMMAND "TURN,"
YOU WILL TURN AND FIRE.
IS THIS CLEAR?
CRYSTAL CLEAR.
RIGHT, WE MUST PROCEED.
FIRST--
MY PERSONAL FAREWELLS.
RENE--
THE FRENCH WAY.
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE--
THANK YOU, MONSIEUR, BUT I HARDLY KNOW YOU.
FAREWELL, EDITH.
EDITH, I AM TALKING TO YOU.
I AM ABOUT TO GET SHOT HERE AND YOU TAKE NO NOTICE.
BUT I AM JUST CATCHING UP ON THE GOSSIP.
BYE-BYE, RENE.
MARIA, YVETTE--
FAREWELL!
MADAME LAMONTAINE--
FAREWELL.
WHO'S MADAME LAMONTAINE?
SO, GENTLEMEN, LET US TAKE UP OUR POSITIONS.
- BACK TO BACK. - ( motorcycle approaching )
EXCUSE ME ONE MOMENT.
DEARIE ME.
BAD NEWS, LIEUTENANT?
COLONEL VON STROHM AND CAPTAIN GEERING
HAVE BEEN ARRESTED BY THE GESTAPO.
AND THE MANEUVERS HAVE BEEN CANCELED.
CANCELED?
ARE THE GESTAPO ALLOWED TO DO THIS?
I SHALL INVESTIGATE.
- QUITE RIGHT. - AFTER THE DUEL.
DO YOU NOT THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT RIGHT AWAY?
I MEAN WE CAN DO THIS ANY OLD TIME.
GET ON WITH IT.
BACK TO BACK.
COCK.
YOUR HAMMER, MONSIEUR.
MARCH!
ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX,
SEVEN, EIGHT,
NINE, 10, HALT!
HALT!
NANCY BOY!
COME BACK!
WHAT ABOUT MY HONOR?
AND MY CUSTOMERS?
( bullet ricochets )
HIS SHIRT IS TORN.
IS HE WOUNDED?
NO.
BUT I-- I CAN SEE
A DENT IN HIS COAL SCUTTLE.
( theme music playing )