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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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( theme music playing )
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IS THERE ANYONE
AMONG YOU WHO THINKS
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IT'S A LITTLE STRANGE
THAT I AM CHAINED TO THE WALL
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OF A DUNGEON
WEARING LADIES UNDERWEAR?
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IF THERE IS, YOU HAVE NOT
BEEN PAYING ATTENTION.
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I WAS TRICKED
INTO THIS LUDICROUS SITUATION
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BY HERR FLICK
OF THE GESTAPO.
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I AM NOW AWAITING RESCUE
BY LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
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WHO IS THE ONE
WHO FANCIES ME.
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I WOULD RATHER NOT
BE RESCUED BY HIM,
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BUT, IN WARTORN FRANCE,
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ONE HAS TO MAKE
STRANGE BEDFELLOWS.
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I WISH I HAD NOT SAID THAT.
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Soldier:
SHE IS IN HERE.
SHE HAS BEEN VERY QUIET.
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RENE,
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WE WILL HAVE YOU
OUT OF HERE.
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GOOD.
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OH, YOUR ARMS
LOOK QUITE PALE.
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THAT IS BECAUSE
THE BLOOD HAS FALLEN DOWN
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BELOW MY ELBOWS.
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I HOPE YOU WILL SOON
BE ABLE TO REMOVE
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THIS EXPERIENCE
FROM YOUR MEMORY.
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YES, I HOPE YOU WILL
BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME.
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HERE ARE
THE CLOTHES
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IN WHICH
YOU CAN LEAVE.
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I HOPE THE SKIRT
IS NOT TOO TIGHT.
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IT IS THE LARGEST
I COULD FIND.
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WHY DO I HAVE
TO WEAR A SKIRT?
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RENE, I COULD NOT
WALK THROUGH THE TOWN
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WITH YOU DRESSED
IN LADIES UNDERWEAR.
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WHY COULD YOU NOT
BRING ME TROUSERS?
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YOU WERE TAKEN PRISONER
AS A WOMAN SOLDIER,
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AND YOU MUST BE TAKEN OUT
AS A WOMAN SOLDIER.
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WILL NOT MY MOUSTACHE
AROUSE SUSPICION?
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NO, RENE.
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NO, IN THE GERMAN ARMY,
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LADY SERGEANTS ARE
PERMITTED TO GROW THEM.
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YOU SENT FOR ME,
HERR FLICK?
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YES, HELGA.
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YOU SHOWED
GREAT DEVOTION
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BY ASSISTING
WITH MY ESCAPE.
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HERE.
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WHAT IS THIS, HERR FLICK?
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IT IS THE GESTAPO
CERTIFICATE
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OF SPECIAL MERIT.
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SEE, YOUR NAME
IS AT THE TOP,
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MY SIGNATURE
IS AT THE BOTTOM.
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THE WAXED SEAL IS STILL HOT.
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IT IS NOT ONLY
A GREAT HONOR,
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BUT WITH IT, YOU CAN GET
INTO THE CINEMA FREE,
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BEFORE 5:00.
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WHAT CAN I SAY?
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YOU CAN SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION
AND GRATITUDE
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BY FIRST
RELEASING YOUR HAIR.
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NOW,
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YOU MAY PUT YOUR ARMS
AROUND ME,
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AND KISS ME UNTIL
YOU ARE GIDDY
WITH ECSTASY.
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OH, THANK YOU,
HERR FLICK.
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YOU ARE REACHING
THE ECSTASY POINT
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VERY QUICKLY
THESE DAYS.
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IT COMES WITH PRACTICE.
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NOW PAY ATTENTION.
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BEFORE I WAS IMPRISONED,
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I OVERHEARD THE COLONEL
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AND GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN
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PLOTTING TO BLOW UP
THE FUHRER,
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WHEN HE VISITS THE CHATEAU
TO CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY.
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I FIND THIS IMPOSSIBLE
TO BELIEVE, HERR FLICK.
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VON SMALLHAUSEN HEARD IT
WITH HIS VERY OWN EARS,
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AND RELAYED IT TO ME.
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LIEUTENANT GRUBER IS
TO DO THE BLOWING UP.
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WE MUST BE ON THE ALERT.
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YOU WILL REPORT TO ME
ALL CONVERSATIONS
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BETWEEN THESE GUILTY PARTIES.
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AS SOON AS
I HAVE ENOUGH EVIDENCE,
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I WILL ARREST THEM.
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IT IS FRIGHTENING
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TO HAVE SO MUCH POWER.
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YES, ISN'T IT?
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NOW, IT IS MY TURN
TO GO GIDDY.
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( glass shatters )
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MADAME EDITH,
I BRING YOU FLOWERS.
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OH, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
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YOU SHOULD NOT.
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ALWAYS WHEN
I BRING YOU FLOWERS,
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IT IS WITH
THE SAME MESSAGE,
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I LOVE YOU.
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WHAT NEWS OF RENE?
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HE IS ON
A DESPERATE MISSION,
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HE HAS NOT
COME BACK.
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OH. WELL, SHOULD
HE NOT RETURN,
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I WISH YOU TO KNOW,
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THAT I WOULD
CONSIDER IT AN HONOR
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TO CONTINUE
WHERE HE LEFT OFF.
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MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
HE LEFT OFF
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WHEN HITLER WAS HALFWAY
DOWN THE POLISH CORRIDOR.
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EDITH, MICHELLE IS
IN THE BACK ROOM.
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SHE WISHES TO TALK TO YOU.
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OH VERY WELL.
MIMI!
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I LOVE YOU,
I LOVE YOU.
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( Edith shrieks )
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I HAVE GOOD NEWS,
RENE IS SAFE,
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AND HAS BEEN SEEN
IN THE TOWN.
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HE HAS THE LUCK
OF OLD NICK.
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I HAVE HERE
THE SPY CAMERA
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WITH WHICH YOU ARE
TO PHOTOGRAPH
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THE SAFE
IN THE CHATEAU.
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HAVE YOU ARRANGED
TO STEAL THE FILM?
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I HAVE INVITED THE COLONEL
TO TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS
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OF ME TONIGHT
IN MY UNDERWEAR.
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I WILL STEAL THE FILM
FROM THE COLONEL'S CAMERA,
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WHILE YVETTE
IS DISTRACTING HIM
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WITH THE FLYING HELMET
AND WET CELERY.
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THESE POOR GIRLS,
WHAT THEY DO FOR FRANCE.
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THEY GET PAID.
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HOW MUCH?
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2,000 FRANCS.
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IT IS GOOD VALUE
FOR MONEY.
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( knocking )
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IT IS RENE!
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...HITTING WINDOW.
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OH, LET ME
HELP YOU.
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MY POOR BRAVE RENE!
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THANK GOD HE IS SAFE.
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THE BRAVEST TRANSVESTITE
IN ALL OF FRANCE.
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WE WERE WORRIED.
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YOU HAVE BEEN AWAY
FOR SO LONG.
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THE GIRLS
FROM THE TYPING POOL
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INVITED ME FOR A DRINK.
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I HAVE HERE
THE SPY CAMERA.
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IT IS DISGUISED
AS A LARGE POTATO,
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IT WORKS SO--
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I SPLIT IT IN TWO,
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TO REVEAL THE CAMERA.
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WHY DISGUISE IT
AS A POTATO?
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BECAUSE YOU DO NOT
GET CARROTS THAT BIG.
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WHEN NEXT THEY ORDER
FOOD FROM THE CHATEAU,
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YOU WILL DELIVER IT.
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YOU WILL FIND THE ROOM
CONTAINING THE SAFE.
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PHOTOGRAPH IT
AND DELIVER THE FILM
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TO MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
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I HAVE, IN MY MORTUARY,
MANY FLUIDS
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WHICH SKILLFULLY BLENDED,
CAN DEVELOP THE FILM.
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I MUST GO NOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
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OH, RENE,
IT IS SO GOOD
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THAT YOU ARE SAFE
AND BACK WITH US AGAIN.
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BUT YOU ARE
LOOKING PALE.
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WELL, I HAD TO TAKE
MY MAKEUP OFF.
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RENE, NIGHT
AFTER NIGHT,
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I DREAM THAT YOU
COME TO MY ROOM.
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YOU HOLD ME
IN YOUR ARMS,
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YOU KISS ME,
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YOU MAKE WILD
ABANDONED LOVE TO ME.
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WHEN ARE WE GONNA
BE TOGETHER?
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WITH DREAMS LIKE THAT,
YOU HARDLY NEED ME.
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DO YOU KNOW,
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WE HAVE NOT EVEN
KISSED YET?
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WELL, IT IS
VERY DIFFICULT, MIMI,
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WITH YVETTE IN THERE,
MY WIFE OUT THERE,
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ME UP HERE,
YOU DOWN THERE.
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JUST A QUICK ONE?
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OH, VERY WELL.
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RENE!
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WHY IS THAT GIRL
CRAWLING ALL OVER YOU?
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YOU STUPID WOMAN!
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SHE JUMPED INTO MY ARMS
BECAUSE SHE SAW A MOUSE!
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IT IS YOUR JOB
TO SET THE TRAPS.
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CAN I TRUST YOU
WITH NOTHING?
169
00:07:47,748 --> 00:07:50,983
OH, I AM SORRY.
THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO.
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00:07:50,985 --> 00:07:54,253
EXCUSES, EXCUSES.
DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.
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GOOD MOANING.
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GOOD MOANING.
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I AM EXISTED.
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ANY CHANCE
OF A CAP OF CIFFEE?
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MIMI, COFFEE FOR
THIS BRITISH IDIOT,
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WHO THINKS
HE CAN SPEAK FRENCH.
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I HAVE FOR YOU,
GOOD NOSE.
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WHAT IS YOUR NOSE?
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00:08:19,747 --> 00:08:22,948
IN MY BOG,
I HAVE A CACK.
180
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AH...
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HE HAS A CAKE
IN HIS BAG.
182
00:08:33,427 --> 00:08:35,994
IT WEIGHS A TIN.
183
00:08:37,764 --> 00:08:41,100
THIS CACK CONTAINS
A POWERFUL BITTERY
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00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:43,169
FOR THE ROODIO.
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00:08:43,171 --> 00:08:45,271
TWO OF THE KINDLES
ARE THE TERMINALS.
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00:08:45,273 --> 00:08:47,306
ONE IS PLISS,
187
00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,241
THE OTHER IS MOANISS.
188
00:08:50,544 --> 00:08:53,979
CAN YOU GAS
WATCH IS WATCH?
189
00:08:53,981 --> 00:08:56,515
WHICH IS WHICH?
190
00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:58,650
YES, WELL, I SUPPOSE
IT IS VERY WELL DONE,
191
00:08:58,652 --> 00:09:00,453
BUT I THINK THAT
THIS IS ONE TERMINAL,
192
00:09:00,455 --> 00:09:03,021
AND THE OTHER ONE
IS THIS ONE.
193
00:09:03,023 --> 00:09:04,790
NO, THAT IS THE WIN.
194
00:09:04,792 --> 00:09:07,960
MAY I HAVE THE SPOON
TO STEER MY CIFFEE?
195
00:09:07,962 --> 00:09:09,395
OH.
196
00:09:10,897 --> 00:09:12,498
IT IS CLEVERLY DONE.
197
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,967
( electricity crackles )
198
00:09:25,245 --> 00:09:26,979
YOU IDIOT, MIMI!
199
00:09:26,981 --> 00:09:28,714
YOU COULD HAVE
KILLED HIM!
200
00:09:28,716 --> 00:09:32,485
YOU HAVE RAISED A LIMP
ON MY HOD.
201
00:09:33,753 --> 00:09:35,554
LOOK,
GET OUT OF HERE,
202
00:09:35,556 --> 00:09:37,490
AND TAKE THIS CACK
WITH YOU.
203
00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:40,692
I SHALL PUT IT
IN THE ROODIO
204
00:09:40,694 --> 00:09:42,328
UNDER YOUR WIFE'S
MITHER'S BOD,
205
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:45,264
AND THEN I CAN COLLECT
MY BURCYCLE.
206
00:09:45,266 --> 00:09:47,133
USE THE BACK PASSAGE.
207
00:09:48,301 --> 00:09:50,769
THAT MAN WILL BE
THE DEATH OF US.
208
00:09:50,771 --> 00:09:52,804
I CAN STILL FEEL
THE STATIC
209
00:09:52,806 --> 00:09:54,440
IN MY WHALEBONE CORSETS.
210
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:57,676
HERE, GO AND EARTH
YOURSELF.
211
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:07,386
♪ HE CAN COME HOME ♪
212
00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:09,655
♪ AS LATE AS CAN BE ♪
213
00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:12,391
♪ HOME WITHOUT HIM ♪
214
00:10:12,393 --> 00:10:15,127
♪ IS NO PLACE FOR ME ♪
215
00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:17,797
♪ CAN'T HELP ♪
216
00:10:17,799 --> 00:10:19,999
♪ LOVING THAT MAN ♪
217
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:23,803
♪ OF MINE. ♪
218
00:10:26,072 --> 00:10:27,739
Rene:
AH, COLONEL,
219
00:10:27,741 --> 00:10:29,074
WELCOME, WELCOME.
220
00:10:29,076 --> 00:10:31,143
YOU HAVE JUST MISSED
LIEUTENANT GRUBER SINGING.
221
00:10:31,145 --> 00:10:33,779
OH, NEVER MIND, COLONEL.
IT IS MY TURN NEXT.
222
00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:37,349
A TABLE FOR TWO,
COLONEL?
223
00:10:37,351 --> 00:10:38,717
NO, RENE.
224
00:10:38,719 --> 00:10:41,086
HELGA'S GOT
A VERY IMPORTANT DATE.
225
00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:42,754
SHE HAS BEEN INVITED
226
00:10:42,756 --> 00:10:44,990
BY GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN.
227
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,859
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
COMING HERE?!
228
00:10:46,861 --> 00:10:48,627
OH, WHAT AN HONOR.
229
00:10:48,629 --> 00:10:51,263
EDITH, A TABLE BY THE WINDOW
FOR HELGA AND THE GENERAL.
230
00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:52,965
BUT IT IS OCCUPIED.
231
00:10:52,967 --> 00:10:53,966
NO, IT IS NOT.
232
00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:55,334
GET OUT!
233
00:10:55,336 --> 00:10:57,970
SIT DOWN, HELGA.
234
00:10:57,972 --> 00:11:00,472
THIS WAY, PLEASE,
COME AND SIT DOWN.
235
00:11:00,474 --> 00:11:02,274
OH, UH...
236
00:11:02,276 --> 00:11:04,176
LET-- LET ME HELP YOU
WITH THAT HEAVY CAMERA.
237
00:11:04,178 --> 00:11:06,678
D-- DOES IT HAVE
A FILM IN IT?
238
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,747
YES, A NEW ONE.
239
00:11:10,683 --> 00:11:13,052
WHEN WILL YVETTE
BE READY FOR ME?
240
00:11:13,054 --> 00:11:14,920
IN A FEW MOMENTS,
COLONEL.
241
00:11:14,922 --> 00:11:16,388
MIMI,
242
00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:19,091
TAKE CARE OF
THE COLONEL'S
CAMERA.
243
00:11:19,093 --> 00:11:22,427
I WILL SEE NO HARM
COMES TO IT.
244
00:11:23,596 --> 00:11:26,531
AH! GOOD EVENING,
HERR FLICK.
245
00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:29,034
OH MY GOD!
246
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:31,170
THERE IS NO REASON TO CEASE
YOUR JOLLIFICATION,
247
00:11:31,172 --> 00:11:33,372
JUST BECAUSE A SENIOR
GESTAPO OFFICER
248
00:11:33,374 --> 00:11:36,375
IN A PARTICULARLY FOUL MOOD
IS ENTERING YOUR PREMISES.
249
00:11:36,377 --> 00:11:37,743
PLAY ON!
250
00:11:39,079 --> 00:11:41,813
SO, THERE YOU ARE.
251
00:11:41,815 --> 00:11:44,984
WHAT KIND OF A FUNNY
OLD GAME IS THIS?
252
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:46,986
I HAVE TWO TICKETS
FOR A FILM
253
00:11:46,988 --> 00:11:48,854
FEATURING
HERR STANLEY LAUREL
254
00:11:48,856 --> 00:11:50,522
AND HERR
OLIVER HARDY,
255
00:11:50,524 --> 00:11:52,691
AND I AM LEFT
WAITING IN THE FOYER
256
00:11:52,693 --> 00:11:55,294
HOLDING A BAG
OF CHOCOLATE FUDGE.
257
00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:56,862
I'M SORRY, HERR FLICK.
258
00:11:56,864 --> 00:11:58,931
I HAVE BEEN ORDERED
BY GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
259
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:00,933
TO BE HIS COMPANION
FOR THE EVENING.
260
00:12:00,935 --> 00:12:02,334
YOU WILL LEARN, HELGA,
261
00:12:02,336 --> 00:12:04,803
THAT NOBODY STANDS UP
THE GESTAPO.
262
00:12:04,805 --> 00:12:06,438
PLEASE GO AWAY,
HERR FLICK.
263
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,007
I SHALL NOT GO AWAY.
264
00:12:08,009 --> 00:12:10,376
I SUSPECT
THAT THE GENERAL
265
00:12:10,378 --> 00:12:13,078
IS INVOLVED IN A PLOT
TO ASSASSINATE THE FUHRER.
266
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,181
THIS IS A VERY COMMON FAULT
WITH OUR GENERALS.
267
00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:18,350
I AM ARRESTING YOU.
268
00:12:18,352 --> 00:12:20,386
YOU WILL COME AWAY WITH ME
FOR INTERROGATION.
269
00:12:20,388 --> 00:12:22,254
OH, HERR FLICK.
270
00:12:22,256 --> 00:12:24,856
YOU SEE THIS BULGE
UNDER MY COAT?
271
00:12:28,661 --> 00:12:30,729
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT IT IS?
272
00:12:34,867 --> 00:12:36,168
A GUN?
273
00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:39,271
CORRECT. STAND UP!
QUICK, MARCH!
274
00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:42,408
HELGA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
275
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:44,243
SHE IS COMING BACK
TO MY PLACE
276
00:12:44,245 --> 00:12:46,511
TO BE INTERROGATED
AT LENGTH.
277
00:12:48,081 --> 00:12:50,416
YVETTE, YVETTE,
WE HAVE GOT THE FILM.
278
00:12:50,418 --> 00:12:52,284
TAKE THE COLONEL
UPSTAIRS NOW.
279
00:12:52,286 --> 00:12:53,953
AND DO NOT BE LONG!
280
00:12:55,989 --> 00:12:59,291
ARE YOU READY,
COLONEL?
281
00:12:59,293 --> 00:13:01,560
READY?
I'M OBSESSED.
282
00:13:02,996 --> 00:13:05,064
HERE IS YOUR CAMERA.
283
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:09,768
I DO NOT WISH
THE TROOPS TO KNOW
284
00:13:09,770 --> 00:13:11,636
THAT I AM GOING
UPSTAIRS WITH YOU.
285
00:13:11,638 --> 00:13:13,339
I AM A COLONEL,
YOU KNOW?
286
00:13:13,341 --> 00:13:15,140
I WILL GO FIRST.
287
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:18,310
I WILL FOLLOW YOU,
CASUALLY.
288
00:13:27,653 --> 00:13:30,589
( whistling )
289
00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:40,632
( cheering )
290
00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:42,101
LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
ANOTHER SONG.
291
00:13:42,103 --> 00:13:44,803
EVERYBODY,
ENJOY YOURSELVES, COME.
292
00:13:44,805 --> 00:13:48,974
♪ IF YOU EVER GET
ACROSS THE SEA TO ENGLAND ♪
293
00:13:48,976 --> 00:13:50,742
All:
♪ ENGLAND ♪
294
00:13:50,744 --> 00:13:53,345
♪ THEN MAYBE
AT THE CLOSING OF THE DAY ♪
295
00:13:53,347 --> 00:13:55,080
All:
♪ OF THE DAY ♪
296
00:13:55,082 --> 00:13:58,384
♪ THE BARS WILL ALL
BE SERVING GERMAN LAGER ♪
297
00:13:59,652 --> 00:14:00,986
♪ WHICH MEANS
WE'VE WON THE WAR ♪
298
00:14:00,988 --> 00:14:02,287
♪ HIP HIP HOORAY! ♪
299
00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:04,523
All:
♪ HIP HIP HOORAY! ♪
300
00:14:04,525 --> 00:14:06,725
GENERAL ERICH
VON KLINKERHOFFEN,
301
00:14:06,727 --> 00:14:09,828
IRON CROSS AND BAR,
HERO OF THE RUSSIAN FRONT.
302
00:14:12,698 --> 00:14:13,899
HEIL HITLER.
303
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:17,002
- ( tray clangs )
- HEIL HITLER.
304
00:14:17,004 --> 00:14:19,104
RELAX, I'M OFF DUTY.
305
00:14:19,106 --> 00:14:21,773
Gruber:
GOOD EVENING,
GENERAL.
306
00:14:21,775 --> 00:14:25,277
AH, SO THIS IS THE PLACE
WHERE ALL THE ACTION IS.
307
00:14:25,279 --> 00:14:27,212
WHERE IS MY COMPANION?
308
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:30,082
UNFORTUNATELY,
SHE LEFT WITH HERR FLICK.
309
00:14:30,084 --> 00:14:31,983
- WHAT?
- IT WAS AGAINST HER WILL.
310
00:14:31,985 --> 00:14:34,653
AGAIN THIS MAN
THWARTS ME.
311
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:37,956
THE SOONER HE IS PUSHING UP
THE DAISES, THE BETTER.
312
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,958
I AM MOST SORRY,
GENERAL.
313
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,826
WELL, IT IS NOT
YOUR FAULT.
314
00:14:41,828 --> 00:14:44,430
BUT I WILL NOT HAVE
MY EVENING RUINED.
315
00:14:44,432 --> 00:14:47,332
FIND ME A GIRL
AND SOME WINE.
316
00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:49,535
RENE, THE GENERAL
NEEDS WINE.
317
00:14:49,537 --> 00:14:50,769
AH.
318
00:14:50,771 --> 00:14:52,904
ALSO, HE WOULD LIKE
A WOMAN TO SIT WITH HIM.
319
00:14:52,906 --> 00:14:54,906
I WILL SIT WITH HIM.
320
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:58,510
IN THE TOP OF MY STOCKING
IS A DAGGER.
321
00:14:59,579 --> 00:15:02,081
I WILL ENGAGE HIM
IN CONVERSATION,
322
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:04,083
IN A LOW VOICE.
323
00:15:04,085 --> 00:15:06,251
WHEN HE LEANS FORWARD
TO HEAR ME,
324
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,520
I WILL PLUNGE THE DAGGER
325
00:15:08,522 --> 00:15:10,622
BETWEEN THE THIRD
AND FOURTH RIBS.
326
00:15:10,624 --> 00:15:12,591
HE WILL DIE INSTANTLY.
327
00:15:12,593 --> 00:15:15,160
LOOK, MIMI, I REALIZE
THAT YOU ARE TRYING
328
00:15:15,162 --> 00:15:17,229
TO PROVE YOURSELF
WITH THE RESISTANCE,
329
00:15:17,231 --> 00:15:19,331
BUT THIS IS NEITHER
THE TIME NOR THE PLACE.
330
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:22,301
A MAN OF HIS RANK NEEDS
MORE SOPHISTICATED WOMEN.
331
00:15:22,303 --> 00:15:23,602
I SHALL GO.
332
00:15:28,774 --> 00:15:31,009
GOOD EVENING, GENERAL.
333
00:15:32,378 --> 00:15:34,346
I UNDERSTAND YOU FANCY
334
00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:36,482
A LITTLE
SOPHISTICATED COMPANY
335
00:15:36,484 --> 00:15:38,683
TO WHILE AWAY
A LEISURELY HOUR?
336
00:15:38,685 --> 00:15:41,086
( pops )
337
00:15:44,324 --> 00:15:46,658
A MAN LIKE YOU
SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE
338
00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:48,793
AT HIS SIDE,
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
339
00:15:48,795 --> 00:15:51,029
I AGREE.
BUT SOMETIMES
340
00:15:51,031 --> 00:15:52,864
THE ROULETTE WHEEL
OF LIFE
341
00:15:52,866 --> 00:15:55,534
THROWS UP
THE ODD ZERO.
342
00:15:55,536 --> 00:15:57,969
OF COURSE,
I DO NOT SIT
343
00:15:57,971 --> 00:15:59,771
WITH ORDINARY SOLDIERS,
344
00:15:59,773 --> 00:16:01,840
ALTHOUGH THEY
CRAVE MY COMPANY.
345
00:16:01,842 --> 00:16:04,042
WELL, IT IS WARTIME.
346
00:16:04,044 --> 00:16:05,611
MEN A LONG WAY
FROM HOME
347
00:16:05,613 --> 00:16:07,746
GET VERY DESPERATE.
348
00:16:07,748 --> 00:16:09,981
ARE YOU VERY
DESPERATE, GENERAL?
349
00:16:09,983 --> 00:16:12,151
NOT YET.
350
00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:13,385
YOU, OVER HERE!
351
00:16:13,387 --> 00:16:15,621
YES.
YES, GENERAL?
352
00:16:16,689 --> 00:16:18,557
IT'S VERY OLD
AND FLAT.
353
00:16:18,559 --> 00:16:21,326
REALLY? IT IS ONE
OF OUR BEST VINTAGES.
354
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,061
NOT THE WINE,
THE WOMAN!
355
00:16:23,063 --> 00:16:25,430
HAVE I NOT SEEN
356
00:16:25,432 --> 00:16:26,532
A BETTER-LOOKING GIRL
AROUND HERE?
357
00:16:26,534 --> 00:16:28,867
SHE IS BUSY UPSTAIRS.
358
00:16:28,869 --> 00:16:31,903
NOBODY IS TOO BUSY
FOR A GENERAL!
359
00:16:35,175 --> 00:16:37,176
IS IT TOO DROOPY?
360
00:16:37,178 --> 00:16:39,311
WE WILL HAVE
JUST ONE MORE.
361
00:16:39,313 --> 00:16:41,480
THIS TIME,
I WILL HOLD THE CELERY.
362
00:16:41,482 --> 00:16:43,215
( Yvette laughs )
363
00:16:43,217 --> 00:16:44,650
COME ALONG, COLONEL!
364
00:16:49,322 --> 00:16:51,557
KEEP STILL.
365
00:16:56,396 --> 00:16:58,063
EMPTY!
366
00:17:00,266 --> 00:17:02,133
( giggling )
367
00:17:02,135 --> 00:17:04,069
( laughing stops )
368
00:17:04,071 --> 00:17:05,870
GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
369
00:17:05,872 --> 00:17:08,440
COLONEL VON STROHM!
370
00:17:08,442 --> 00:17:09,941
WHAT CAN I SAY?
371
00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:11,910
PICK UP YOUR CLOTHES
AND GET OUT OF HERE!
372
00:17:11,912 --> 00:17:13,278
YES, GENERAL!
373
00:17:15,248 --> 00:17:17,115
YOU MAY LEAVE THE HELMET
AND THE GOGGLES.
374
00:17:19,485 --> 00:17:21,653
THE CHICKEN,
THE SALAD AND THE CHEESE.
375
00:17:22,822 --> 00:17:24,723
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
376
00:17:24,725 --> 00:17:27,092
THIS FOOD SHOULD HAVE BEEN
AT THE CHATEAU 10 MINUTES AGO.
377
00:17:27,094 --> 00:17:28,760
I WILL TAKE YOU ALL THERE.
378
00:17:28,762 --> 00:17:30,862
I HAVE WAITING OUTSIDE
MY SMALL HEARSE,
379
00:17:30,864 --> 00:17:32,398
WITH THE SMALL HORSE.
380
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,199
THE FLAG IS NOW DOWN.
381
00:17:34,201 --> 00:17:36,735
( bell rings )
382
00:17:36,737 --> 00:17:39,004
THE GIRLS WILL HELP YOU
WITH THE HAMPERS.
383
00:17:39,006 --> 00:17:41,006
Michelle:
HERE IS YOUR CAMERA.
384
00:17:41,008 --> 00:17:43,575
THE FILM HAS BEEN
CUT DOWN AND LOADED.
385
00:17:43,577 --> 00:17:45,444
HERE IS THE PLAN
OF THE CHATEAU.
386
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:47,346
WE THINK THAT
THE SAFE IS IN A ROOM
387
00:17:47,348 --> 00:17:49,014
ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
388
00:17:49,016 --> 00:17:50,749
NOW, DELIVER THE FOOD
TO THE KITCHEN,
389
00:17:50,751 --> 00:17:52,351
GO TO THE ROOM
QUICKLY,
390
00:17:52,353 --> 00:17:54,353
PHOTOGRAPH THE SAFE,
AND RUN LIKE HELL.
391
00:17:54,355 --> 00:17:56,788
WELL, THE LAST BIT
WILL BE EASY.
392
00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:58,090
WHAT DO I DO
IF I GET CAUGHT?
393
00:17:58,092 --> 00:18:00,092
SAY YOU HAVE
LOST YOUR WAY.
394
00:18:00,094 --> 00:18:02,027
HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS?
395
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:04,096
SAY YOU ARE
ON YOUR WAY
396
00:18:04,098 --> 00:18:06,966
TO A "BRING YOUR OWN
POTATO" PARTY.
397
00:18:06,968 --> 00:18:09,634
NOW, QUICKLY,
YOU MUST GO!
398
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:14,173
THERE HAS BEEN A MESSAGE
ON THE WIRELESS.
399
00:18:14,175 --> 00:18:16,976
THE R.A.F.
ARE GOING TO BOMB
400
00:18:16,978 --> 00:18:19,878
THE GERMAN TROOPS TONIGHT,
HERE IN NOUVION.
401
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,813
THAT IS
WONDERFUL NEWS!
402
00:18:21,815 --> 00:18:24,183
WONDERFUL NEWS?
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
403
00:18:24,185 --> 00:18:26,318
WHAT HAPPENS
IF THEY HIT MY CAFE?
404
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,420
WE ARE NOT INSURED AGAINST
THE R.A.F., YOU KNOW?
405
00:18:28,422 --> 00:18:30,222
YOU GO BACK.
GO BACK AND TELL THEM
406
00:18:30,224 --> 00:18:31,790
TO STEER CLEAR
OF MY CAFE.
407
00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:34,460
I WILL SHINE A TORCH UP
THE CHIMNEY OR SOMETHING.
408
00:18:34,462 --> 00:18:37,262
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD
TO BE BOMBED BY THE R.A.F.!
409
00:18:37,264 --> 00:18:38,897
QUICKLY, YOU MUST GO.
410
00:18:38,899 --> 00:18:40,399
QUICK MONSIEUR,
411
00:18:40,401 --> 00:18:41,766
BEFORE THE R.A.F.
DROP ONE.
412
00:18:44,904 --> 00:18:46,505
OH!
413
00:19:00,853 --> 00:19:02,087
Guard:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
414
00:19:03,623 --> 00:19:05,424
UH, FOOD,
FOR THE KITCHENS.
415
00:19:05,426 --> 00:19:07,059
STRAIGHT DOWN THE CORRIDOR.
416
00:19:11,364 --> 00:19:13,665
THAT IS THE WAY
TO THE ROOM WITH THE SAFE.
417
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:15,134
GOOD LUCK.
418
00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:16,902
THANK YOU.
419
00:19:16,904 --> 00:19:18,103
AND RENE?
420
00:19:18,105 --> 00:19:20,339
- YES?
- BE CAREFUL.
421
00:19:45,932 --> 00:19:48,466
SAFE, SAFE, SAFE...
422
00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:57,109
( knickknacks fall )
423
00:19:57,111 --> 00:19:59,611
- WHO IS THERE?
- ( gasp )
424
00:19:59,613 --> 00:20:01,446
RENE?!
425
00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,318
WHAT A SURPRISE.
426
00:20:09,455 --> 00:20:12,490
I WAS DELIVERING FOOD.
I LOST MY WAY.
427
00:20:12,492 --> 00:20:15,694
THERE ARE MANY PASSAGES.
IT IS MOST CONFUSING.
428
00:20:15,696 --> 00:20:18,297
I AM VERY SORRY.
I WILL BE GOING.
429
00:20:18,299 --> 00:20:20,132
NO, NO--
STAY A WHILE.
430
00:20:20,134 --> 00:20:22,301
HAND ME MY TOWEL.
431
00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:23,335
OH, YES.
432
00:20:33,612 --> 00:20:36,114
THANK YOU.
MY SLIPPERS?
433
00:20:42,455 --> 00:20:44,723
BEAR WITH ME A MOMENT--
I WILL GET MY DRESSING GOWN.
434
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:09,882
I'M GLAD TO SEE
YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF
435
00:21:09,884 --> 00:21:11,516
AT HOME.
436
00:21:11,518 --> 00:21:14,186
AND WHAT IS THIS YOU
ARE HOLDING IN YOUR HAND?
437
00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:18,257
OH, JUST
AN ORDINARY POTATO.
438
00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:20,392
- I WAS ON MY WAY TO A--
- NO, NO.
439
00:21:22,128 --> 00:21:23,328
GIVE IT TO ME.
440
00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:26,031
WE WILL ROAST IT
IN FRONT OF THE FIRE.
441
00:21:26,033 --> 00:21:27,966
WHAT?! NO, NO!
442
00:21:32,105 --> 00:21:34,172
HOLD THAT.
443
00:21:34,174 --> 00:21:37,142
NOW, DO YOU FANCY
A LITTLE SCHNAPPS?
444
00:21:37,144 --> 00:21:39,278
I DO NOT FANCY
A LITTLE ANYTHING.
445
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,113
I REALLY SHOULD
NOT BE HERE.
446
00:21:41,115 --> 00:21:42,347
I MUST BE
GETTING BACK.
447
00:21:42,349 --> 00:21:44,849
TO THINK OF ALL THE TIMES
I HAVE INVITED YOU HERE,
448
00:21:44,851 --> 00:21:46,885
AND NOW YOU ARRIVE
BY CHANCE.
449
00:21:47,887 --> 00:21:49,687
OR DID YOU?
450
00:21:49,689 --> 00:21:51,723
OH, NO.
PURELY BY CHANCE.
451
00:21:51,725 --> 00:21:54,226
I REALLY SHOULD
NOT BE HERE.
452
00:21:54,228 --> 00:21:56,028
IT IS PROBABLY
AGAINST REGULATIONS.
453
00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:58,330
DON'T WORRY,
THE WALLS ARE THICK,
454
00:21:58,332 --> 00:22:00,065
THE DOORS ARE STOUT.
455
00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:02,634
WHY ARE YOU WAVING
YOUR POTATO ABOUT?
456
00:22:03,937 --> 00:22:05,938
WELL, IT--
IT IS VERY HEAVY.
457
00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:07,272
LET US CUT IT
IN IN HALF.
458
00:22:07,274 --> 00:22:08,740
- NO, NO!
- YES, I INSIST.
459
00:22:08,742 --> 00:22:10,208
I HAVE A KNIFE
HERE SOMEWHERE.
460
00:22:10,210 --> 00:22:11,209
BUT, LIEUT--
461
00:22:11,211 --> 00:22:13,278
( muted sirens )
462
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,580
AN AIR-RAID WARNING.
463
00:22:15,582 --> 00:22:17,582
PROBABLY A FALSE ALARM.
464
00:22:17,584 --> 00:22:19,217
NO, NO, IT IS THE R.A.F.
465
00:22:19,219 --> 00:22:20,652
THEY ARE DUE
ABOUT THIS TIME.
466
00:22:20,654 --> 00:22:22,087
I-- I-- I MEAN, UH--
467
00:22:23,923 --> 00:22:25,958
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN
FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.
468
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,161
THIS WARDROBE
IS SOLID OAK.
469
00:22:29,163 --> 00:22:31,196
WE WILL BE
QUITE SAFE IN HERE.
470
00:22:31,198 --> 00:22:32,630
COME INSIDE.
471
00:22:33,732 --> 00:22:35,067
RENE,
472
00:22:35,069 --> 00:22:36,468
RENE!
473
00:22:36,470 --> 00:22:38,203
NO, IT IS
YOUR WARDROBE.
474
00:22:38,205 --> 00:22:39,871
I WILL TAKE MY CHANCE
IN THE CELLAR.
475
00:22:45,445 --> 00:22:46,811
THE SAFE!
476
00:22:48,014 --> 00:22:49,181
RENE!
477
00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:56,288
WHERE ARE YOU?
478
00:22:57,690 --> 00:22:59,358
JUST A LITTLE BIT
TO YOUR LEFT.
479
00:23:01,794 --> 00:23:03,195
( shutter clicking )
480
00:23:03,197 --> 00:23:04,629
( knocking )
481
00:23:04,631 --> 00:23:06,564
I AM ONLY THINKING
OF YOUR SAFETY!
482
00:23:06,566 --> 00:23:08,333
DO NOT WORRY,
LIEUTENANT.
483
00:23:08,335 --> 00:23:10,735
YOU HAVE BEEN MORE HELP
THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!
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